WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:08.640 This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me 2 00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:16.640 covering the Butcher's Masquerade chapters sixty seven through seventy two. 3 00:00:18.719 --> 00:00:24.359 In these chapters, our plan is being put into action, 4 00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:31.079 and as with all plans, things immediately go wrong and 5 00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:35.520 we have to adjust to a degree. We can do 6 00:00:35.600 --> 00:00:42.039 that to another degree. Only so much can really go 7 00:00:42.200 --> 00:00:47.600 wrong before it's just a rap. Welcome to spoil Me. 8 00:01:05.840 --> 00:01:09.079 Welcome to the show everyone. I am Natasha. Thank you 9 00:01:09.319 --> 00:01:14.599 very much to Jackie for commissioning this episode. Jackie, if 10 00:01:14.640 --> 00:01:19.599 you're listening, appreciate you very very much. So yeah, this 11 00:01:20.560 --> 00:01:23.200 section I was saying at the beginning of my last recording, 12 00:01:23.200 --> 00:01:26.079 which was for Falling Free, one of the books in 13 00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:30.000 the Vorcosagain saga. But it's a weird thing that happens 14 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:32.680 sometimes would spoil me where I will be covering a 15 00:01:32.680 --> 00:01:36.400 few properties that all have the same like plot beat 16 00:01:36.439 --> 00:01:39.200 happening at the same time, and it's just a coincidence. 17 00:01:39.239 --> 00:01:42.879 But it's always wild when more than one book I'm 18 00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:45.560 covering has an evil twins suddenly show up, or more 19 00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:48.480 than one book I have that I'm covering is like 20 00:01:48.719 --> 00:01:52.159 we're about to have an extremely important fraught dinner party 21 00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:55.640 or something, you know, and right now, what is going 22 00:01:55.680 --> 00:02:03.920 on in Falling Free is also extremely far reaching plan 23 00:02:04.599 --> 00:02:11.080 that many people's lives are depending on, but which which 24 00:02:11.120 --> 00:02:15.800 relies a lot on factors outside of their control which 25 00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:20.639 are immediately going wrong, and some things that are within 26 00:02:20.680 --> 00:02:27.039 their control going wrong because folks are unreliable. It is 27 00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:32.879 so stressful. It really is, like I enjoy reading it 28 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:37.439 to a degree because like instantly I'm like, Okay, well, 29 00:02:37.719 --> 00:02:40.800 obviously that went really fucking wrong, But like, how are 30 00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:42.360 we going to get out of it? Is there going 31 00:02:42.439 --> 00:02:44.599 to be a way that our friends find, you know, 32 00:02:44.719 --> 00:02:51.879 to move past this? And I have to assume likely 33 00:02:51.919 --> 00:02:57.280 there is, because our means have plot armor. And that's fine, 34 00:02:57.759 --> 00:02:59.280 that's not a criticism, but it's just the way that 35 00:02:59.319 --> 00:03:04.280 it works. But I know that likely even if our people, 36 00:03:04.400 --> 00:03:07.080 like our mains, don't die, that they are going to 37 00:03:07.120 --> 00:03:12.360 be forced to sacrifice something, and you know, maybe one 38 00:03:12.400 --> 00:03:15.639 of our side characters might die and I don't want 39 00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:22.439 that either, And yeah, it's just the whole thing to 40 00:03:23.000 --> 00:03:28.159 you guys. Look, I've said this before. It's coming as 41 00:03:28.159 --> 00:03:33.159 no surprise to anybody. Being a control freak as I am, 42 00:03:33.879 --> 00:03:40.919 comes from a place that is like having grown up 43 00:03:40.960 --> 00:03:45.560 with parents that were certainly doing their best. I don't 44 00:03:45.560 --> 00:03:48.960 think all parents do do their best, I'll say that, 45 00:03:49.039 --> 00:03:54.120 but I believe mine were trying their best. But they 46 00:03:54.120 --> 00:03:59.840 were not equipped to be parents, really not really, and 47 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:03.919 and I knew it, you know, it was like just 48 00:04:04.000 --> 00:04:06.560 growing up. I was very aware of the fact that 49 00:04:06.680 --> 00:04:11.560 like they didn't really know what was going on, and 50 00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:18.480 so I had frequent recurring nightmares that I was in 51 00:04:18.519 --> 00:04:20.959 the back seat of the car and they were having 52 00:04:21.040 --> 00:04:26.639 an argument my parents and had forgotten to drive. There 53 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:30.199 was nobody actually with their hands on the steering wheel, 54 00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:33.439 and I had to climb up to the front from 55 00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:36.680 the back seat in order to grab the wheel because 56 00:04:37.439 --> 00:04:41.839 they were not paying attention. It is the most obvious 57 00:04:41.920 --> 00:04:44.560 metaphor on planet Earth. And it is remarkable that I 58 00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:47.319 was having the stream when I was like seven years old, 59 00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:51.319 but there it is. I my whole life have had 60 00:04:51.360 --> 00:04:55.839 this feeling of unease that people are not on it, 61 00:04:56.319 --> 00:05:02.360 that there is like a black hole beneath me with 62 00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:07.199 no safety net, and if I don't manage things myself 63 00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:13.199 and it goes wrong, it's going really fucking wrong. So 64 00:05:13.959 --> 00:05:17.000 this sort of storyline where you have got to like 65 00:05:17.800 --> 00:05:21.959 trust the folks around you to do their job. Is 66 00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:29.120 extremely It gives me a type of anxiety that is 67 00:05:29.199 --> 00:05:34.040 very specific and personal that is irrational, I recognize and 68 00:05:34.399 --> 00:05:39.160 is out of proportion to the fact that this is fiction. 69 00:05:39.839 --> 00:05:43.879 But I still have it. And you know, I understand 70 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:49.240 that mostly when you are relying on people in a 71 00:05:50.279 --> 00:05:55.199 life or death situation, folks do take shit seriously and 72 00:05:55.439 --> 00:05:59.519 do do their best. But then you have shit that 73 00:05:59.600 --> 00:06:05.319 happens like Samantha, like wanting her own little mission but 74 00:06:05.920 --> 00:06:09.279 not doing any of the work involved in making sure 75 00:06:09.319 --> 00:06:13.079 that mission actually can be carried out. She wants to 76 00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:16.680 be involved, but she doesn't want to do the homework. 77 00:06:17.439 --> 00:06:21.879 And that is the kind of thing that not only 78 00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:26.399 do I feel like this weird sense in my gut 79 00:06:26.439 --> 00:06:29.319 of like, of course, of course you couldn't rely on her, 80 00:06:29.560 --> 00:06:33.079 because you just can't rely on people. They just you know, 81 00:06:34.639 --> 00:06:39.639 there's also a kind of like a part of me 82 00:06:39.800 --> 00:06:44.959 that is very unreasonable that is going, Yeah, Carl, you 83 00:06:45.160 --> 00:06:49.959 decided to rely on Samantha. I am so sorry, bro, 84 00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:53.279 but you really just have yourself to blame for that. Like, 85 00:06:53.920 --> 00:06:57.079 I don't really understand what you were thinking in giving 86 00:06:57.120 --> 00:07:00.279 her such an important job, you had to know. Oh, 87 00:07:01.000 --> 00:07:07.680 It's it's not like Samantha never does anything right. It's 88 00:07:07.800 --> 00:07:13.199 more that when she does stuff right, it's incidental to 89 00:07:13.279 --> 00:07:16.959 her doing what she wanted in the first place. Things 90 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:22.959 end up going right despite the fact that she decided 91 00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:27.959 to not follow the plan, you know. And this here 92 00:07:28.120 --> 00:07:33.160 is like I like her, And that's something that's really 93 00:07:33.160 --> 00:07:37.160 saying something in terms of what I must feel towards 94 00:07:37.480 --> 00:07:42.680 because like normally, there is no quicker deal breaker for 95 00:07:42.839 --> 00:07:46.800 me as a reader or a viewer than a character 96 00:07:47.199 --> 00:07:55.120 being this particular kind of neglectful and unreliable. I will 97 00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:59.319 really lose my patience quickly. As many folks have seen 98 00:07:59.360 --> 00:08:01.759 when I was back in the day covering Harry Potter. 99 00:08:02.399 --> 00:08:05.759 Hagrid is so many people's like favorite character or one 100 00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:08.879 of their tops, and I really cannot take him because 101 00:08:08.920 --> 00:08:11.399 he fucks up so relentlessly all the time, and I 102 00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:14.759 just can't take it. It's like it just bothered me in 103 00:08:14.800 --> 00:08:16.839 a way that it was just very much like you're 104 00:08:16.839 --> 00:08:18.519 supposed to be one of the fucking grown ups, and 105 00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:21.279 what good are you? You know. So the fact that 106 00:08:21.319 --> 00:08:24.360 I actually still like Samantha despite the fact that she 107 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:28.399 keeps doing this sort of thing. I just think that 108 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:33.519 that really goes to show that I do like her, 109 00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:35.559 that this is like, you know what I'm saying, Like, 110 00:08:36.759 --> 00:08:43.600 but uh, I also feel so saddened at the fact 111 00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:49.320 that it doesn't seem she understands the importance of any 112 00:08:49.399 --> 00:08:54.879 of this. It's bizarre how she can simultaneously be so 113 00:08:55.000 --> 00:08:58.200 instrumental in their plans because she knows certain things and 114 00:08:58.279 --> 00:09:03.519 has certain information, she can participate in the planning of 115 00:09:03.600 --> 00:09:07.480 things in like on a level. But then once it's 116 00:09:07.559 --> 00:09:12.879 time for the execution of the thing, it's like their 117 00:09:13.120 --> 00:09:16.320 lives are depending on this, and she just doesn't seem 118 00:09:16.399 --> 00:09:19.919 to like understand that or keep it in mind or 119 00:09:19.960 --> 00:09:24.679 maybe grasp that they just get like to they just 120 00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:28.519 get killed because she, being a god, doesn't really have 121 00:09:28.600 --> 00:09:36.639 that perspective. I don't know. But anyway, sorry, Michael says, 122 00:09:36.679 --> 00:09:38.679 what besides, every moment we have seen her has given 123 00:09:38.720 --> 00:09:42.200 you cause to doubt her reliability. Rob says, the Samantha 124 00:09:42.279 --> 00:09:47.679 of unintended consequences. Yeah, it's you know, she's very entertaining, 125 00:09:47.759 --> 00:09:50.279 but when it's time, like if she is being given 126 00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:56.200 something that is really clutch to do, that's on you 127 00:09:56.240 --> 00:10:00.519 give her something that is sort of mayhem, give her 128 00:10:00.559 --> 00:10:05.120 something to do that is distraction, that is her getting 129 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:08.360 to like act up and letting her off the leash, 130 00:10:08.440 --> 00:10:12.240 so to speak. That's where she excels, is just going 131 00:10:12.320 --> 00:10:17.679 bonkers but doing something that requires the type of precision 132 00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:23.000 they are asking for here, it's asking for trouble. And granted, 133 00:10:23.639 --> 00:10:27.919 there's literally nobody else who could really have pulled this off, 134 00:10:28.000 --> 00:10:31.399 because the whole thing that she's doing is, you know, 135 00:10:31.480 --> 00:10:33.879 in these little tunnels that she's the only one that 136 00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:38.039 could fit through. So I don't think they had another 137 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:40.399 option if they wanted to carry the plan out this 138 00:10:40.399 --> 00:10:45.519 specific way. But then you have to figure something else out, 139 00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:46.919 like you know, I don't know what to tell you. 140 00:10:47.519 --> 00:10:51.000 So anyway, everything is going very very wrong by the 141 00:10:51.080 --> 00:10:54.639 end of this section, and it's this odd combination for 142 00:10:54.720 --> 00:10:58.159 me in my guts of like excitement because I am 143 00:10:59.559 --> 00:11:03.440 first of all aware that there are likely some other 144 00:11:03.519 --> 00:11:06.720 contingencies that I'm not aware of because we don't actually 145 00:11:06.799 --> 00:11:09.600 get to like it's not like the way that the 146 00:11:09.679 --> 00:11:16.120 story is being told is front loading. Are the readers 147 00:11:16.159 --> 00:11:19.120 with information about what the plan is. We are being 148 00:11:19.320 --> 00:11:25.639 given hints of what the plan is, as we go along, 149 00:11:26.120 --> 00:11:29.960 dropped into like the beginnings of each chapter as a 150 00:11:30.039 --> 00:11:33.879 replacement kind of for like sometimes not always, for the 151 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:42.240 entries in the cookbook. So we're being shown basically what 152 00:11:42.360 --> 00:11:46.519 all was intended, right before we get the moment where 153 00:11:46.559 --> 00:11:51.840 it all goes wrong. And because we don't have all 154 00:11:51.879 --> 00:11:56.720 the information, a part of me is willing to sort 155 00:11:56.759 --> 00:12:02.039 of like sit back and trust that there were contingencies 156 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.399 they came up with that would figure that we could 157 00:12:04.399 --> 00:12:06.639 figure this out, or there are other plans that like 158 00:12:06.679 --> 00:12:10.840 we dropped, but aspects of it can be incorporated. But like, honestly, 159 00:12:10.879 --> 00:12:13.200 I really don't know any of that. It's just me 160 00:12:13.320 --> 00:12:16.080 having a kind of faith and the way that they 161 00:12:16.120 --> 00:12:19.440 have to communicate just via writing. Coming up with these 162 00:12:19.480 --> 00:12:23.440 sorts of intricate plans is difficult enough when the people 163 00:12:23.480 --> 00:12:26.399 are sitting in the same room around a table talking freely, 164 00:12:26.919 --> 00:12:29.320 never mind the fact that they have to write on 165 00:12:29.559 --> 00:12:33.960 this board or whatever it is in a bathroom, wait 166 00:12:33.960 --> 00:12:36.600 for the other to eventually be able to make it 167 00:12:36.679 --> 00:12:39.039 up that they have to pee and go in there 168 00:12:39.200 --> 00:12:44.320 read it. Answer how slow the process must be to 169 00:12:44.519 --> 00:12:49.360 put anything together. It has to be fucking agony. You know. 170 00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:55.279 So anyway, all that said, this whole thing is just 171 00:12:55.519 --> 00:13:01.360 really like balancing on a knife's edge, and it's one 172 00:13:01.399 --> 00:13:05.399 thing if a certain bit goes wrong, but it's that's 173 00:13:05.440 --> 00:13:07.759 not what we're seeing, you know what I'm saying. There's 174 00:13:07.799 --> 00:13:14.919 a What I keep thinking about, of course, is what 175 00:13:14.960 --> 00:13:20.879 do you call it? Ocean's eleven where we don't get 176 00:13:20.919 --> 00:13:23.200 to see the plan, We don't hear what the whole 177 00:13:23.200 --> 00:13:27.879 thing is. It appears everything is going very very wrong, 178 00:13:28.759 --> 00:13:31.200 and then all of a sudden, the camera sort of 179 00:13:31.200 --> 00:13:34.679 pulls back and we get to see, actually, the things 180 00:13:34.720 --> 00:13:36.679 that looked like they were going wrong were part of 181 00:13:36.679 --> 00:13:41.039 the plan all along. And it's fine. That is not 182 00:13:41.080 --> 00:13:44.080 what's going on here. That's not, at least if it is, 183 00:13:45.120 --> 00:13:52.720 I am being very effectively snowed as a viewer reader. Sorry, 184 00:13:52.799 --> 00:13:57.039 it is possible. I suppose that you know, this is 185 00:13:57.120 --> 00:14:00.720 all part of the that we're acting as if the 186 00:14:00.720 --> 00:14:05.120 things that aren't going according to plan are problems, and 187 00:14:05.159 --> 00:14:08.360 it's really exactly what we wanted, you know, like the 188 00:14:08.440 --> 00:14:11.799 kind of villain that gets arrested on purpose because jail 189 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:17.080 is exactly where you wanted to be. Okay, possible, possible. 190 00:14:17.480 --> 00:14:21.879 I don't think so, though I really don't believe that's 191 00:14:21.960 --> 00:14:26.360 what's going on, and if it is, I'm not going 192 00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:28.480 to be mad about it. Just for the record, I'm 193 00:14:28.519 --> 00:14:30.480 not saying that that is there's no way to pull 194 00:14:30.480 --> 00:14:35.080 it off, But I think that kind of plan would 195 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:39.000 rely too much on the acting abilities of the people involved, 196 00:14:39.000 --> 00:14:42.519 and I just don't see us like even attempting it. 197 00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:50.639 I we'll see the number of things that go wrong. 198 00:14:50.919 --> 00:14:54.480 That's the part that gives me anxiety, one or two 199 00:14:54.559 --> 00:14:57.600 things where we have to like think on our feet 200 00:14:57.600 --> 00:15:03.200 and adjust. Inevitable. Right, that's not what we're getting. We're 201 00:15:03.320 --> 00:15:12.000 getting huge sections of the infrastructure of this plan falling apart, 202 00:15:13.000 --> 00:15:16.799 and I don't know how you fucking adapt when it's 203 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:22.279 you know, the Initially what Carl had said was like 204 00:15:22.879 --> 00:15:27.120 new plan, we don't attack at all, we don't do anything, 205 00:15:27.399 --> 00:15:32.799 we just party. And yet once everybody's in there, it 206 00:15:32.919 --> 00:15:36.559 does not seem to me at least that that's what's happening. 207 00:15:37.320 --> 00:15:43.120 So I don't know what's what. Mah, I don't know. 208 00:15:43.159 --> 00:15:48.960 I don't know. So starting with chapter sixty seven, Vra 209 00:15:49.960 --> 00:15:53.200 had just spotted Carl and was like coming at him 210 00:15:53.279 --> 00:16:00.200 through this uh, this big ballroom to speak to him, 211 00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:08.279 and I really like Carl is so unafraid of her, 212 00:16:08.399 --> 00:16:11.360 and like, granted, right now you should be. You're not 213 00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:14.519 even in the same place. She can't do anything to you, 214 00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:18.399 you know, I understand this, But he's just really taunting 215 00:16:18.440 --> 00:16:23.600 her in a way that I deeply appreciate. I really 216 00:16:24.080 --> 00:16:27.919 wonder if I would be handling things like this, you know. 217 00:16:28.240 --> 00:16:31.480 I don't know, because there's a part of me that 218 00:16:31.519 --> 00:16:35.080 feels like I would be too afraid in a real way. 219 00:16:35.919 --> 00:16:38.240 But another part of me feels like maybe if I 220 00:16:38.279 --> 00:16:41.600 were in this situation and I had gone through everything 221 00:16:41.600 --> 00:16:43.440 that Carl has gone through, there would be a sort 222 00:16:43.480 --> 00:16:46.879 of fatalism in me that would you know. And also 223 00:16:47.759 --> 00:16:52.639 always keeping in mind that a big part of the 224 00:16:52.679 --> 00:16:57.639 way this game works is performance. And if I'm aware 225 00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:00.360 that there's a camera on me and that behave in 226 00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.360 a certain way is going to get views and potentially 227 00:17:03.399 --> 00:17:06.839 then sponsors, maybe I would be like this. Maybe I 228 00:17:06.839 --> 00:17:13.680 would fucking go for it. I don't know. So she says, 229 00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:16.319 I have a present for you, Carl, It's coming soon. 230 00:17:17.640 --> 00:17:23.920 And the as this conversation is going on, we have 231 00:17:24.000 --> 00:17:26.759 this thing with Brittany in the background, and it turns 232 00:17:26.799 --> 00:17:29.359 out that her jacket, which I was like, what is 233 00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:34.920 this made out of? It is assembled of these slate butterflies, 234 00:17:35.400 --> 00:17:39.559 which are the little beanie babies essentially that can be 235 00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:44.160 brought to life, and she uses one to disable the 236 00:17:44.279 --> 00:17:49.920 alarm that goes off when an attack is made, like 237 00:17:50.200 --> 00:17:55.599 the safety thing the warning light, the lights glow slowly 238 00:17:55.640 --> 00:17:58.759 paled and the powered light faded away. A moment later, 239 00:17:58.880 --> 00:18:01.880 the common rarity some creature returned to a stuffed animal. 240 00:18:02.200 --> 00:18:04.519 I held my breath as it fell, hit the top 241 00:18:04.559 --> 00:18:07.839 of the ELF's spear and landed in Britney's outstretched hand. 242 00:18:08.119 --> 00:18:10.279 The guard looked up as Brittany pulled the stuffed animal 243 00:18:10.319 --> 00:18:14.720 behind her back. He returned to his position. These things 244 00:18:14.759 --> 00:18:17.960 don't count as a spell, they don't count as aggression, 245 00:18:18.599 --> 00:18:22.720 and so they function here so they can turn this 246 00:18:22.880 --> 00:18:29.799 fucking alarm off. And later on he sees I think 247 00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:35.240 raw herself looking up and observing that the light is out, 248 00:18:35.720 --> 00:18:41.920 and is like, ah shit. So we find out a 249 00:18:41.960 --> 00:18:46.480 little bit later that the whole thing that we had 250 00:18:46.519 --> 00:18:54.119 suspected about the bunch of mantis babies being born that 251 00:18:54.240 --> 00:18:57.519 is indeed happening. That is what's going on, it has 252 00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:03.119 been done. I knew that this was likely, but I 253 00:19:03.359 --> 00:19:08.759 still somehow like maintained this hope that it wasn't, even 254 00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:12.880 though were I in VRA's position, this is precisely what 255 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:16.519 the fuck I would do, no question, you know what 256 00:19:16.519 --> 00:19:19.799 I'm saying. But I was like, I don't know, maybe 257 00:19:19.839 --> 00:19:24.680 maybe VRA's very dumb. Maybe no, no such luck. But 258 00:19:24.720 --> 00:19:30.240 we'll get there in a moment. So let's see. Uh. 259 00:19:31.039 --> 00:19:33.960 I swear to you this, Carl, before this night is done, 260 00:19:34.200 --> 00:19:38.960 I will have your decapitated head on my back and 261 00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:49.000 takes off. So now, lucymr You guys, what's going on 262 00:19:49.160 --> 00:19:55.759 with lucymr? Is? It's still confusing. I think we're you know, 263 00:19:55.920 --> 00:20:00.480 we haven't been given all the information yet. It's so 264 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:10.160 sad and overall is satisfying to me in terms of 265 00:20:11.000 --> 00:20:16.920 not only the weirdness of the mystery going on with her, 266 00:20:17.240 --> 00:20:25.160 but ultimately with Florin, because I was extremely concerned about him, 267 00:20:25.680 --> 00:20:29.680 you know, and I wasn't mad. I understood why he 268 00:20:29.720 --> 00:20:32.920 felt how he felt. There was nothing in me that 269 00:20:32.960 --> 00:20:38.200 could really blame him, but that doesn't mean that he's 270 00:20:38.200 --> 00:20:41.759 not going to completely fuck our plan right up. You know, 271 00:20:42.319 --> 00:20:47.039 it was just this sense of inevitability that it was 272 00:20:47.279 --> 00:20:50.079 all going to go left in this like very particular way, 273 00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:56.079 and I didn't want to see it. I didn't want 274 00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:04.799 the plot beat of a hot headed person is goaded 275 00:21:04.920 --> 00:21:10.000 into taking action that is unwise because they can't control 276 00:21:10.240 --> 00:21:14.599 their feelings of rage and desire for revenge. It is 277 00:21:14.680 --> 00:21:20.359 a well trod trope, and for a reason, because this 278 00:21:20.480 --> 00:21:23.559 is honestly a reality in the world, like, this is 279 00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:29.640 what happens. But it's not fun to watch because you 280 00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:34.119 know they are about to ruin everything for everyone. And 281 00:21:35.559 --> 00:21:38.920 I just wasn't looking forward to it. I'll say that 282 00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:43.119 and then we don't get it. And it was a 283 00:21:43.279 --> 00:21:48.519 real relief. I mean, I just didn't expect it to 284 00:21:48.599 --> 00:21:50.799 go the way that it goes, and for Flora to 285 00:21:50.880 --> 00:21:55.720 have the presence of mind to stop and look and 286 00:21:55.960 --> 00:22:00.359 hear and think. You know, I expected him to do 287 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:08.319 something stupid, to be almost to a degree motivated by 288 00:22:09.039 --> 00:22:12.200 resentment of Carl trying to tell him what to do, 289 00:22:12.319 --> 00:22:17.240 even where it would be like, not only am I 290 00:22:17.319 --> 00:22:19.559 doing this because I have the right to do it 291 00:22:19.599 --> 00:22:21.920 because of what happened to a person I care about, 292 00:22:22.599 --> 00:22:25.960 but I am irritated that you are trying to assert 293 00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:30.319 control over me. I'll show you, And so he does this, 294 00:22:30.440 --> 00:22:32.839 you know what I mean. I was very worried that 295 00:22:32.880 --> 00:22:35.079 it was going to be ego driven in that way, 296 00:22:36.279 --> 00:22:44.400 and instead Florin has a similar reaction to her as Carl. 297 00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:50.640 When Carl first spots her here, It's interesting the Lajah 298 00:22:50.680 --> 00:22:53.039 Bless was here in her beautiful woman form, but she 299 00:22:53.079 --> 00:22:56.680 stood against the wall, chewing on her fingernail, eyes darting 300 00:22:56.759 --> 00:22:59.039 back and forth like she didn't know where she was. 301 00:22:59.799 --> 00:23:03.799 In that moment, I saw her for what she was, 302 00:23:04.599 --> 00:23:12.440 a kid in an adult's body. And when Florin looks 303 00:23:12.480 --> 00:23:16.200 at her at for the first instant of him seeing her, 304 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:21.440 of course he's just like, let me at her, and 305 00:23:21.920 --> 00:23:25.119 it takes very little time for him to stop and 306 00:23:25.160 --> 00:23:29.799 be like wait and to see what Carl also saw. 307 00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:37.960 I just love this, It's so it just it. I 308 00:23:38.039 --> 00:23:40.200 think the reason that this is speaking to me so 309 00:23:40.359 --> 00:23:43.400 much is that it's addressing the very thing that I 310 00:23:43.480 --> 00:23:45.759 was talking about the beginning of the episode with not 311 00:23:45.799 --> 00:23:50.039 feeling like I can rely on people. Florin is displaying 312 00:23:50.559 --> 00:24:01.000 a maturity and a control that is not what I 313 00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:06.519 expect out of people most of the time. Frankly, it 314 00:24:06.839 --> 00:24:11.119 feels unlikely, and so a big part of me just 315 00:24:11.160 --> 00:24:15.000 doesn't really try to depend on it because it seems 316 00:24:15.039 --> 00:24:20.720 like it's extremely optimistic to expect this. And he came through. 317 00:24:22.200 --> 00:24:25.720 You know what I'm saying, He fucking does the self 318 00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:30.000 control grown up thing. I just didn't think he would. 319 00:24:30.079 --> 00:24:34.200 And it's so comforting to have a moment of being like, oh, 320 00:24:34.240 --> 00:24:38.960 somebody on Carl's team has fucking self control and can 321 00:24:39.000 --> 00:24:43.680 be relied on in a way that I just took 322 00:24:43.759 --> 00:24:48.519 for granted wasn't possible or gonna happen. And it's nice. 323 00:24:49.000 --> 00:24:54.799 It's just really it's a nice surprise. I love that. However, 324 00:24:56.519 --> 00:25:01.799 we've got Katscha, on the other hand, busted out, like 325 00:25:01.920 --> 00:25:07.480 about to really start some shit today when she knows better, 326 00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:11.839 and like, I won't say that Katya undid the way 327 00:25:11.880 --> 00:25:14.759 that I was feeling, you know about Florin, where I 328 00:25:14.839 --> 00:25:18.559 was so gratified. That's not what I mean when I 329 00:25:18.640 --> 00:25:25.079 say this. It's just more so that the direction this 330 00:25:26.680 --> 00:25:31.160 lack of control is coming from is so unexpected and 331 00:25:31.519 --> 00:25:34.319 in some ways sort of underscores the whole vibe of 332 00:25:34.440 --> 00:25:37.079 like you just don't have control over anything, and if 333 00:25:37.079 --> 00:25:40.319 you think you do, it's an illusion. And the whole 334 00:25:40.319 --> 00:25:48.319 thing with her and Eva is so ugh. Eva has 335 00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:54.880 over fifty player skulls over her head and four Hunter 336 00:25:55.000 --> 00:26:03.359 Killer marks. That ratio is frankly unhidden. That's insane, Like, 337 00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:12.599 I just the fucked up nature of your priorities is 338 00:26:12.720 --> 00:26:20.359 so explicitly displayed in that ratio. It's out of control. 339 00:26:21.319 --> 00:26:24.359 It's remarkable that somebody else hasn't killed Eva by now, 340 00:26:24.759 --> 00:26:28.720 like that people haven't teamed up against her. I understand 341 00:26:28.839 --> 00:26:34.799 Katcha's particular beef, you know, I get it obviously, but 342 00:26:35.640 --> 00:26:39.279 I would think that other people would have really clocked 343 00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:42.359 how like how much of a threat she is on 344 00:26:42.440 --> 00:26:48.359 a variety of levels, and decided, Okay, this is untenable. 345 00:26:48.480 --> 00:26:51.440 She's out here sabotaging shit, like, let's deal with her. 346 00:26:52.079 --> 00:26:55.279 And maybe they have. Maybe they have, and that's why 347 00:26:55.319 --> 00:26:57.960 she's got so many Player Killer skulls. Partially is that 348 00:26:58.759 --> 00:27:01.799 it's she know they tried to come at her and 349 00:27:01.839 --> 00:27:09.240 they missed. But Kotscha is like, really, I was thinking 350 00:27:09.279 --> 00:27:11.359 that she was going to be more prepared for singing 351 00:27:11.400 --> 00:27:18.359 Eva than she is. It's I think a result of 352 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:21.960 Kotscha sabotaging by taking all of those potions that were 353 00:27:22.039 --> 00:27:25.400 left for people in the locker room. It's just like 354 00:27:25.559 --> 00:27:30.279 kotcha being like even that you had to even ruin 355 00:27:30.519 --> 00:27:34.480 that you couldn't just leave that the fuck alone? Why 356 00:27:34.519 --> 00:27:37.880 are you like this? And that's literally what she says, 357 00:27:39.319 --> 00:27:42.160 is just like, why are you like this? These are 358 00:27:42.240 --> 00:27:48.799 your people too, and Eva is the most I love 359 00:27:48.839 --> 00:27:55.000 the energy that she's written with because it's deeply infuriating, obviously, 360 00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:02.839 but it's also extremely recognizable. I am lucky in that 361 00:28:03.599 --> 00:28:05.880 I don't think I've ever met anybody in person that 362 00:28:05.920 --> 00:28:09.039 I've had a fight with that was like this, but 363 00:28:09.119 --> 00:28:14.440 I have absolutely encountered this type of person online. And 364 00:28:14.519 --> 00:28:16.640 I don't even mean like strangers. I mean there have 365 00:28:16.680 --> 00:28:20.920 been people that I knew purely online that devolved to 366 00:28:21.079 --> 00:28:23.519 this quite quickly, and I was like, oh, you're that 367 00:28:23.720 --> 00:28:28.400 kind of person. But the what I mean by this 368 00:28:28.599 --> 00:28:34.799 is she immediately goes for the lowest blow, most petty, 369 00:28:35.519 --> 00:28:43.079 most hurtful week spot in a very like childish kind 370 00:28:43.119 --> 00:28:48.640 of way that it's almost it's not even that like 371 00:28:49.079 --> 00:28:53.319 she necessarily hits you where it hurts, and it gets 372 00:28:53.400 --> 00:28:57.400 you because she hit you in that weak spot. It's 373 00:28:57.680 --> 00:29:02.680 for me more of the fact that she hits you 374 00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.319 where they like in a place where that's not even 375 00:29:07.359 --> 00:29:11.359 where what the argument's about. This isn't relevant, even that 376 00:29:11.480 --> 00:29:14.119 I am talking to you about a big picture thing 377 00:29:14.519 --> 00:29:18.680 and you're just trying to like confuse the issue by 378 00:29:18.920 --> 00:29:22.599 bringing up other shit that's irrelevant? Do you give what 379 00:29:22.640 --> 00:29:27.599 I'm saying? And that part is what I really keep 380 00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:31.640 getting stuck on, is just the idea that, like when 381 00:29:31.920 --> 00:29:36.400 because people like this, it's so difficult to deal with them, 382 00:29:36.519 --> 00:29:41.480 because if you are like me, for example, it's a 383 00:29:42.480 --> 00:29:46.799 there's a sense to it of like I am trying 384 00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:49.440 to reason with you. I am trying to come at 385 00:29:49.480 --> 00:29:53.599 you with a logic that obviously you have no fucking 386 00:29:53.759 --> 00:30:00.160 interest in because you keep deflecting. And how do you 387 00:30:00.319 --> 00:30:04.359 like argue with somebody that is handling it like this? 388 00:30:05.039 --> 00:30:09.319 How do you get through to them if what it 389 00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:12.400 seems like they actually want is to just sit back 390 00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:17.359 and insult you like a fifth grader on the playground. 391 00:30:18.440 --> 00:30:23.160 If they are this unwilling to even engage with the 392 00:30:23.559 --> 00:30:29.599 actual concerns that you're bringing up, then the futility of 393 00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:35.279 it becomes apparent really quickly, and is so disheartening and 394 00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:40.079 discouraging and ultimately just saddening. You know what I'm saying. 395 00:30:40.200 --> 00:30:45.359 It just it sucks, man. I just really this is 396 00:30:45.400 --> 00:30:50.759 a person that I there are some people that I 397 00:30:50.799 --> 00:30:57.559 think really show you they make the world worse, and 398 00:30:57.680 --> 00:31:02.599 they are trying to make the world worse, and they 399 00:31:02.680 --> 00:31:09.720 have no interest whatsoever in improving. They don't care about 400 00:31:09.720 --> 00:31:15.799 the state of the world. It's about themselves and the 401 00:31:15.839 --> 00:31:19.599