WEBVTT

1
00:00:04.200 --> 00:00:06.960
<v Speaker 1>Helping leaders motivate their people to a higher level of

2
00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:11.080
<v Speaker 1>performance through strong human relations, team building, and gola giving.

3
00:00:11.560 --> 00:00:14.960
<v Speaker 1>This is the seven Minute Leadership Podcast with your host

4
00:00:15.279 --> 00:00:16.399
<v Speaker 1>Paul fella Aledo.

5
00:00:21.679 --> 00:00:25.559
<v Speaker 2>Hello everyone, and welcome to the seven Minute Leadership Podcast.

6
00:00:25.600 --> 00:00:30.519
<v Speaker 2>It's episode seven twenty eight. Today we're talking about something

7
00:00:30.559 --> 00:00:36.880
<v Speaker 2>that almost nobody teaches anymore. Why calm leaders win loud rooms.

8
00:00:37.759 --> 00:00:41.799
<v Speaker 2>We live in a world that rewards volume. The loudest

9
00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:47.399
<v Speaker 2>voice in the meeting gets attention, The fastest response gets praised,

10
00:00:47.439 --> 00:00:51.600
<v Speaker 2>The strongest opinion gets remembered. The person with the most

11
00:00:51.640 --> 00:00:56.679
<v Speaker 2>confidence often gets mistaken for the person with the best answer.

12
00:00:57.359 --> 00:01:01.880
<v Speaker 2>But leadership is not karaoke. Leadership is not about who

13
00:01:01.880 --> 00:01:06.959
<v Speaker 2>grabs the microphone. Leadership is about influence, and influence behaves

14
00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:11.680
<v Speaker 2>differently than noise. So I want you to picture something.

15
00:01:12.120 --> 00:01:15.840
<v Speaker 2>You walk into a room where people are upset. People

16
00:01:15.879 --> 00:01:20.480
<v Speaker 2>are interrupting each other. Someone is frustrated, someone feels unheard.

17
00:01:21.159 --> 00:01:24.920
<v Speaker 2>Somebody already made up their mind before the meeting even started.

18
00:01:25.319 --> 00:01:29.680
<v Speaker 2>You can feel it. The room feels hot. Now imagine

19
00:01:29.719 --> 00:01:33.640
<v Speaker 2>two leaders. Leader number one comes in and matches the energy.

20
00:01:33.879 --> 00:01:40.280
<v Speaker 2>Voices get louder, faster, talking, stronger, opinions and more interruptions,

21
00:01:41.000 --> 00:01:46.760
<v Speaker 2>and Leader number two walks in slower speaks, lower listens first,

22
00:01:47.120 --> 00:01:51.719
<v Speaker 2>pauses before answering which room do you think settles first?

23
00:01:52.239 --> 00:01:58.879
<v Speaker 2>Almost always the second one, because emotions spread, but calm

24
00:01:58.920 --> 00:02:03.319
<v Speaker 2>spreads too. One of the biggest myths in leadership is

25
00:02:03.319 --> 00:02:08.159
<v Speaker 2>that calm equals weakness, and I think that's completely backward.

26
00:02:08.560 --> 00:02:14.080
<v Speaker 2>Calm is expensive. Anybody can lose control, anybody can react,

27
00:02:14.599 --> 00:02:19.800
<v Speaker 2>anybody can get defensive. Remaining calm while pressure is hitting

28
00:02:19.879 --> 00:02:25.000
<v Speaker 2>you from five directions at once requires discipline. Think about

29
00:02:25.199 --> 00:02:28.439
<v Speaker 2>pilots when an alarm goes off and the cockpits. Pilots

30
00:02:29.039 --> 00:02:33.120
<v Speaker 2>do not start yelling. When emergency responders arrive at a scene,

31
00:02:33.199 --> 00:02:37.840
<v Speaker 2>the best ones are rarely the loudest. When a scuba

32
00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:41.879
<v Speaker 2>instructor sees a student panic underwater, they slow down because

33
00:02:41.919 --> 00:02:48.840
<v Speaker 2>panic underwater multiplies danger. Pressure rewards calm. That is one

34
00:02:48.840 --> 00:02:52.560
<v Speaker 2>of the reasons I talk so much about red key leadership.

35
00:02:52.639 --> 00:02:57.319
<v Speaker 2>Routine moments and high consequence moments are not the same thing.

36
00:02:58.120 --> 00:03:03.400
<v Speaker 2>Routine moments let you sur vibe. Red key moments define

37
00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:07.919
<v Speaker 2>your reputation, and in those moments, people are watching something

38
00:03:08.080 --> 00:03:11.919
<v Speaker 2>very specific, not what you say. They're watching how you

39
00:03:11.960 --> 00:03:15.719
<v Speaker 2>say it. I remember hearing a phrase years ago. The

40
00:03:15.800 --> 00:03:20.599
<v Speaker 2>person who controls the pace often controls the room. And

41
00:03:20.639 --> 00:03:24.560
<v Speaker 2>that's stuck with me. Because loud rooms have an invisible rule,

42
00:03:25.159 --> 00:03:31.000
<v Speaker 2>everybody unconsciously starts competing for oxygen. People talk over each other,

43
00:03:31.120 --> 00:03:37.199
<v Speaker 2>people defend positions instead of solving problems. People become attached

44
00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:42.800
<v Speaker 2>to being right. Calm leaders interrupt that pattern, not by

45
00:03:42.840 --> 00:03:47.080
<v Speaker 2>force by changing the rhythm. So try this next time

46
00:03:47.759 --> 00:03:53.280
<v Speaker 2>somebody unloads frustration on you. Do not respond immediately, pause

47
00:03:53.319 --> 00:03:57.159
<v Speaker 2>for a few seconds, and those few seconds will feel

48
00:03:57.199 --> 00:04:01.759
<v Speaker 2>like an eternity, and then say tell me more, and

49
00:04:01.879 --> 00:04:07.280
<v Speaker 2>watch what happens. People often burn themselves out emotionally when

50
00:04:07.319 --> 00:04:12.319
<v Speaker 2>they feel heard. You don't have to win every emotional battle.

51
00:04:12.360 --> 00:04:15.800
<v Speaker 2>You have to move the room forward. And another thing

52
00:04:15.919 --> 00:04:22.040
<v Speaker 2>calm leaders understand is silence is a leadership tool. People

53
00:04:22.199 --> 00:04:27.800
<v Speaker 2>get uncomfortable with silence. That discomfort causes people to reveal information.

54
00:04:28.560 --> 00:04:32.720
<v Speaker 2>Someone proposes an idea, everybody looks at the leader. The

55
00:04:32.800 --> 00:04:38.319
<v Speaker 2>leader says nothing, and five seconds pass. Suddenly someone else

56
00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:41.680
<v Speaker 2>starts speaking. Then another person now the room, gives you data.

57
00:04:42.360 --> 00:04:46.959
<v Speaker 2>The loud leader fills silence. The calm leader studies silence.

58
00:04:47.399 --> 00:04:51.000
<v Speaker 2>There is a difference. And before somebody says this only

59
00:04:51.079 --> 00:04:57.160
<v Speaker 2>works for quiet personalities, this is not introvert leadership. This

60
00:04:57.399 --> 00:05:02.480
<v Speaker 2>is intentional leadership. You can be energetic and calm, you

61
00:05:02.519 --> 00:05:06.920
<v Speaker 2>can be charismatic and calm, and you can be direct

62
00:05:07.399 --> 00:05:12.439
<v Speaker 2>and calm. Calm does not mean passive. Calm means controlled.

63
00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:15.360
<v Speaker 2>So I want to give you a challenge for the

64
00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:20.319
<v Speaker 2>next week. Every time tension rises around you, ask yourself

65
00:05:20.399 --> 00:05:25.000
<v Speaker 2>one question. Do I want to contribute energy or do

66
00:05:25.079 --> 00:05:28.399
<v Speaker 2>I want to direct energy? Because those are different jobs.

67
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:35.199
<v Speaker 2>Anybody can increase temperature, leaders regulate temperature. Think about a thermostat.

68
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:38.800
<v Speaker 2>Thermostats do not scream at the room. They quietly change

69
00:05:38.839 --> 00:05:43.279
<v Speaker 2>the environment. That's leadership. And here's something that took me

70
00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:48.519
<v Speaker 2>years to learn. People remember how leaders made them feel

71
00:05:48.600 --> 00:05:53.879
<v Speaker 2>during pressure. Years later, nobody remembers the exact meeting agenda.

72
00:05:53.959 --> 00:05:58.480
<v Speaker 2>Nobody remembers the spreadsheet or the exact wording. People do

73
00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:02.199
<v Speaker 2>remember did this leader make me feel safe? Did this

74
00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:05.839
<v Speaker 2>leader make me feel stupid? Did this leader create clarity?

75
00:06:06.439 --> 00:06:10.759
<v Speaker 2>Did this leader stay steady? That becomes your reputation, not

76
00:06:10.879 --> 00:06:16.240
<v Speaker 2>your title, not your office, not your badge, your emotional footprint.

77
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:22.360
<v Speaker 2>And there is another hidden advantage to calm calm leaders.

78
00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:26.120
<v Speaker 2>Hear things loud leaders miss because when your brain is

79
00:06:26.160 --> 00:06:31.680
<v Speaker 2>busy performing leadership, it cannot observe leadership. You miss body language,

80
00:06:31.720 --> 00:06:35.800
<v Speaker 2>you miss hesitation, you miss small warning signs, you miss

81
00:06:35.879 --> 00:06:43.000
<v Speaker 2>the sentence somebody almost said. Calm buys awareness. Awareness buys

82
00:06:43.560 --> 00:06:48.279
<v Speaker 2>better decisions, and better decisions build trust. So the next

83
00:06:48.279 --> 00:06:52.600
<v Speaker 2>time you walk into a loud room, resist the urge

84
00:06:52.639 --> 00:06:58.000
<v Speaker 2>to compete. Lower your voice, slow your pace, ask one

85
00:06:58.040 --> 00:07:01.920
<v Speaker 2>more question. Stay grounded, because because the strongest leader in

86
00:07:01.959 --> 00:07:05.240
<v Speaker 2>the room is not always the one making the most noise.

87
00:07:05.839 --> 00:07:10.279
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes it is the person who reminds everybody else that

88
00:07:10.360 --> 00:07:16.680
<v Speaker 2>they don't have to. So if you want to become

89
00:07:17.879 --> 00:07:23.360
<v Speaker 2>a stronger leader this week, do not practice speaking louder,

90
00:07:24.160 --> 00:07:31.040
<v Speaker 2>practice becoming harder to shake when pressure shows up. Become

91
00:07:31.079 --> 00:07:34.920
<v Speaker 2>the person people move toward, not the person they move

92
00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:40.879
<v Speaker 2>away from. Rooms. Remember calm teams, remember calm families, remember

93
00:07:40.959 --> 00:07:47.600
<v Speaker 2>calm and leadership. Real leadership often sounds quieter than people expect.

94
00:07:48.360 --> 00:07:51.360
<v Speaker 2>This has been the seven Minute Leadership Podcast, and I

95
00:07:51.399 --> 00:07:52.399
<v Speaker 2>thank you for listening.

96
00:07:52.680 --> 00:07:57.399
<v Speaker 1>For more Paul fell of Alito Podcasts, visit paulfellaalito dot com,
