Speaker 1: Good morning from Hell. This is Chris and Clayton.
Speaker 2: I died recently, and my eternal punishment is to do
a podcast for all eternity where we interview.
Speaker 3: Other people in Hell and for all attorney. We all
know the pitch.
Speaker 1: Chris, how was hate sgiving for you?
Speaker 3: Terrible? But not in like the fun hell kind of
terrible way. He was awful.
Speaker 2: My mom invited a bunch of dudes over, slept with
them all on the dinner table.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I took pictures. Yeah, I know, yeah you were there.
I don't know how you got the invite, but I
guess my mom.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of a lot of talk about politics.
Oh that's pretty typical for those kind of gatherings.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how did it go? Not great?
Speaker 2: Because there's only two political parties here in Hell. My
brothers in my party, yeah, and I have he has
the superior political campaign.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me know it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because there's all how many people are in
your party? Leave it for me, right, I mean I
didn't know there was a vote. Let's just say two
we're gonna get all right?
Speaker 3: Maybe three? Two or three?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure stalling through me vote. Maybe I don't know. Yeah,
well I.
Speaker 1: Don't know if he votes either, he's more dictatorship.
Speaker 3: Yeah that's true.
Speaker 2: Okay, two, we got to two supporters, all right, so yeah,
you know, it's an uphill battle, but it's it's kind
of like a grassroots kind of campaign. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we're we're gonna after this. I think you and I
can go canvas the neighborhood and uh and.
Speaker 3: Get some more voters. How does that sound?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: When's the election six hundred and sixty six years from now? Okay, yeah,
they got some time. Yeah, we got some time, but
we can get some fundraisers. See what happens.
Speaker 3: Yeah, who knows, guys.
Speaker 2: I got a question on Twitter? Where do you put
this is from persona Wolf? Where do you put gingers
if they have no soul? Asking for a friend? Oh well,
persona Wolf? That's actually highly offensive making fun of gingers.
Wait wait, so yeah, that's it's terribly offensive to make
fun of people with red hair.
Speaker 3: They can't control that.
Speaker 1: So mean. But I thought they didn't have souls.
Speaker 2: No, they have souls. It's a shitty joke. It's really rude. Yeah, okay,
you you should be you should feel bad. I didn't
even make the joke.
Speaker 3: Well, you perpetuated it, You're you're just as much to blame.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Anyways, if a ginger does go to hell, though, we
actually have special punishment for them. They we have a
more intense sun because of their pale, pasty skin. We
make fun of them for their freckles. We call them weasleys,
you know, like Harry Potter. They're just normal people. We
all hate them, but you know, they're normal people, so
you shouldn't be offensive.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: The people that don't have souls actually are the ones
that dye their hair red or blue or green. Those
are the people that don't have souls. They don't have no, no, yeah,
they gave them up, just like their creativity.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Is it a thing where they don't have souls to
begin with, or they lose their soul whenever they dye
their hair. Yeah, it's like signing a pact with Satan.
They dye their hair, lose their soul. Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: Is it just the fine print of the dye.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Next time you check your mabe Lean bottle or whatever, Yeah,
it says at the very bottom, made in China, unfortunately,
and uh, you're selling your soul to Satan.
Speaker 3: What else you got either?
Speaker 2: We have a request from a Steven he wrote into
hot mail. Can we get Blaine Gibson on the show?
Speaker 3: Who's that?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: I never heard of him?
Speaker 1: Yeah, kind of a nobody.
Speaker 3: Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean with a name like that, I mean he
sounds he sounds like somebody.
Speaker 1: No, he's the kind of a nobody.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm sure he's a nice guy.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Do you know him? Is any relation to you or yeah?
I know Earth friend?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know him back on Earth. I wouldn't call
him a friend.
Speaker 3: Noll would you call him?
Speaker 1: Uh? Just kind of one of those people that you
have to know because you work closely with him?
Speaker 3: Interesting?
Speaker 2: Any like specific traits that you know describe him? Handsome, funny, annoying, muscular,
obsessed with his physique? Interesting, Yeah, yeah, that's that. Actually
that means right, yeah yeah, and then uh, very insecure.
M I don't know about that. That's kind of presumptuous there, Chris,
I don't I don't know. So yeah, I don't think
we'll ever have him on the show. Yeah, yeah, just
because he's probably really busy and he sounds really popular
and you probably just can't put him.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Probably Yeah.
Speaker 2: Another question got one more? Yeah, one more, one more
from the hot mail. This is from fi More. This
question to Clayton. Do you get furries in Hell? Oh? Yeah, absolutely,
if you are a furry, it's instant sentence down here.
Really Yeah, and we turn up the heat wherever you are,
really crank it. They're basically wearing a full body sweater.
We make them roast inside that thing.
Speaker 1: So there's never any in heaven. No.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 2: Do you think you'd see some guy yiffing or whatever
it is up in heaven? I think so. I don't
think being a furry makes you a bad person. I
do I think it makes you a weird person.
Speaker 1: I don't think so. I mean, I think it'd be
really cool to see someone up in heaven and a squirrel.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: Sure, a squirrel mascot with flying Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm sure Jesus is up there prancing around, you know,
holding Princess Diana's hand in one and then some fucking
squirrel in the other.
Speaker 3: Yeah, singing Kumbaya. I don't know. That kind of ruins
my vision of heaven personally.
Speaker 1: I don't know. If you're the target audience, it's.
Speaker 2: True, but I don't see I don't remember anything in
the Bible about furries.
Speaker 1: Well that means it's not necessarily wrong.
Speaker 3: It doesn't mean it's right.
Speaker 1: All right.
Speaker 2: Well, they get chocked up with the body pillow kids, okay, yeah,
the kids that worn't carry those like body pillows around.
Speaker 3: We actually issue those out whenever you come to hell.
You got yours, right, my body pillow? Yeah? What printed
you get on yours?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got James Gandalfini.
Speaker 2: Ohrano collect that's a limited edition one. Yeah, yeah, no,
because it also smells like James Gundelfini. Oh yeah, that's
that's yeah. We stuff it with the body hair of
James Gundelfini.
Speaker 1: Yeah, rest in peace? Is he in Heaven or hell?
Speaker 3: He's in Heaven's great? All right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you see he's on the Sopranos, right yeah, yeah,
that's a great show.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think they're making a movie really yeah with his son.
Oh I thought you meant in Heaven. No, no, on Earth,
the Earth rom they're the ones that make them. That's Hollywood.
This is actually true. They're making they're making it. They're
making a Serrano's movie. I don't know what else to say,
there's no there's no comedy behind that.
Speaker 3: That's just I'm breaking news here on Good Morning from Here.
Speaker 2: You heard it first, Yeah, well you didn't hear it
first because I read it in like a variety article.
But I'm just repeating what I said. I guess, I
guess We're not gonna open up that movie podcast that
we talked about. We're just gonna stick to our guns
on Good Morning from Hell. All right, So I'm really
excited about this next segment because we have our first
ever Good Morning from Hell unboxing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we got our merchandise available for purchase.
Speaker 2: That's right, I said, Chris, I want some awesome badass shirts.
I want them to like be red, like the blood
of the Infidels, and like in like super metal cool
badass texts, say like hal Clayton, and then like all
of our demons and all of our followers are gonna
wear them. I'm so excited to see what you came
up with. Yeah, all right, give me that box, give
me here, Okay, hit me here, all right, give my
box cutter.
Speaker 3: We'll put it up. And uh, the fuck? Is this?
What is this?
Speaker 1: That's that's red?
Speaker 3: This is this is pink Chris, this is pink. It's
clearly not red. No, that's that is that's red. I'm
holding it up to the light and it look pink.
You what is it? What is that fought? Is that
the gut milk fought?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 3: I don't know what fun I just Chris, what what
did you do? You fucked the whole thing up. No,
it's a nice shirt. It's nice.
Speaker 2: And this shirt sucks, Chris, I had you order six million,
six hundred sixty six thousand, six hundred and sixty six
of these.
Speaker 3: How are we gonna sell pink shirts? Chris?
Speaker 2: People like pink shirts? No, No one likes pink shirts.
Got No, it's a good shirt. It's a good it's
a good shirt.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: And look, you're the one who told me to order
six hundred and sixty six million of all six million.
Speaker 2: Six hundred and sixty six six sex six ex Chris,
what that okay? We have to destroy all of them. No,
look on the order site it looked red. That are
you your color blinds? You're color blind? I'm looking at
it right now. That's pink, it says right there.
Speaker 1: It's just pink.
Speaker 3: Why didn't read the fine print on the T shirt. Oh,
these are never gonna see the light to day. I
don't want these souls. The monks turned out really good.
Speaker 2: But the mugs o cool. Look at the logoyat this out. Okay,
throw these bucks at you. You're gonna be eating mug
sharks our years. Dang.
Speaker 3: Okay, look well those turned out good and you're breaking
all of them are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's it doesn't mean we're gonna eat all
the costs of these things anyways, there's no way.
Speaker 3: All right, well, they the mugs look great.
Speaker 1: They got the show logo and they got good morning
from Hell, and that looks great.
Speaker 3: Pink shirts, pink my least favorite color. Slightish red.
Speaker 2: Eat another mug, out, eat another out? All right, good,
all right, gonna bring myself back down. Listen to what
my psychiat said, Siegmund Freud.
Speaker 1: Who's our guest for?
Speaker 2: Actually, I brought on a great, great friend of ours.
He's really popular down here in Hell. He's the lead
chef down here in Hell. Come on in, Guy Ferrari,
Poe Criszy Clayton, my two favorite guys.
Speaker 3: How you doing, guys? Good, great guy? How are you wait?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 3: Guy Ferrari, that's my name, don't wear it out. Hell,
what's up?
Speaker 1: There's a guy Ferrari. You look a little different.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, up and on earth, everybody's different off camera, dude, No, no, no,
you must be.
Speaker 2: Thinking a guy Fieri. Oh well no, guy, we can
we can tell Chris. Okay, it's your it's your alter ego.
Speaker 1: It's me.
Speaker 3: You know, he paints himself white.
Speaker 4: I go white face because that's cool down here. But
totally cool with that. But you know, I make some
trips up there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I pop in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a pretty good following up there. It's
pretty popular.
Speaker 2: And uh yeah, that explains the white horns. Oh yeah,
you got not not a die jeb. People think it's
a die job. It's not.
Speaker 3: It's natural. It's all natural. Yeah, it's a spike tip.
I was born that way. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So you have how many horns? Is that? That's? I mean,
you've only got just the two.
Speaker 4: I couldn't even count them. You know, there's too many
to count, you know. He who's to say. I'm not
saying that's you know, I'm not saying that makes me better.
But I'm just saying, you know, there is the thing
that I have.
Speaker 2: It was born with it it's pretty. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Speaker 3: It's very sick. I'm jealous. It's pretty. It's pretty sick.
Speaker 2: I got some I got sweet shirts, and I've seen him.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 4: I like to do flames a lot. Big fan of Hell,
big fan, big fan. You know what's going on down here,
and uh, you know, I like to represent.
Speaker 3: I'm the top. They don't know. If I hadn't told
you that, you probably would have had no idea.
Speaker 2: I had sky and diskies, I would not have known.
So Guy, we actually sent him up he's like in
an agent for Hell. We wanted to make it as
unhealthy as possible up on the Earth. Throw you guys
are getting too healthy with this like whole vegan movement.
So we send guy up there, and he's he's a
great work.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, I appreciate the sport that I got
down here, you know, because up there it's crazy, you know,
and people are trying, they're trying to run, you know,
they're trying to live. You know, it's like I'm gonna
cut out meats. So I go up there, I double down,
I triple down. You know, fry this deep fry that
you know, cover that in grease. You know, why can't
we wrap that in a ball of cheese, you know,
and they suck it down, you know, the humans up there,
they just love it, you know. So it's just like
eat this, eat that, bom you're dead.
Speaker 3: Boom. No, well you don't say boom. That's right.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, fuck that guy. Don't even be started
on that guy. I'm pretty sure he's a demon.
Speaker 3: You know, I hate him.
Speaker 1: Person, so he's a demon too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a piece of shit. I'll tell you that.
Speaker 4: I don't know if he's a demon or not, but
I fucking hate him. You know, I don't know why
he gets all the street cred. I'm over here. How
many TV shows he's got. People people recognize me, you know,
they see me as everybody's making fun of me. I
don't really understand that.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm a big joke.
Speaker 4: This guy, he's a be He's a big chef, big
chef guy. You know, he gets a boom bab boom whatever,
he's gonna catch phrase. Everybody loves him. He has a
bunch of nonsense.
Speaker 2: I mean, if I saw a guy in Emerald in
a crowd, I know which one I'd spot.
Speaker 3: Quicker guy yeah, look at me. I'm on fire. You
see my hair, I'm on fire, golden tips, flame red shirt.
He recognize me immediately.
Speaker 2: Boom there a yeah, always on fire. So how did
you become the number one chef in hell?
Speaker 3: You know it's you know, it's not that complicated.
Speaker 4: You cook up some good dishes, you know, uh, holy
mostrom Bowlie used to throw a bunch of stuff together.
Speaker 3: People love it.
Speaker 4: Get the blood and guts, Yeah, I deal mostly in
bones down here. Up there, they're like the fat and
the grease, you know.
Speaker 3: Then hopefully I filled the hole until they drop dead.
Thank god. Yeah, not to use that word, you know,
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4: It's a curse word down here, but you know, fill
themuntil they're done down here, you know it's open season.
I do a lot of animal based food, you know
that dog cat. You know it's uh, you know what's
rarely used is cooking on the souls. You could sole
up saute it. You want to a three hundred and
fifty degrees for two to three hours a soul?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's delicious. It's absolutely delicious tasty.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's just really good. What do they taste like?
Speaker 2: It's kind of like a bread in a way that
it's like kind of like hollow, like a kind of
like a pocket of nice air.
Speaker 1: Hot Pocket, Yeah, it tastes like hot pockets.
Speaker 4: You know, we're not gonna say it's hot pocket. You know,
it's kind of in tilting my craft a little bit,
you know. But like if hot Pocket wanted to taste
like a soul, they they you know, they would copy meat.
Speaker 3: So I feel like that's what you're experiencing. You're experiencing them.
Speaker 4: You know, they got the h the guy Ferrari, that's
my name, and they uh, you know, they taste the
soul and they say, how do we how do we
recreate that?
Speaker 2: So they go with a lot of bread and cheese.
But you know I perfected that with human souls.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You know a lot of a lot of people up there, you.
Speaker 4: Know, and they're you know, the these fucking vegans. You know,
they're about you know, cage's free, you know, corn fed
all that. Nah, I'm I go the opposite, you know,
meat and cheese and pesticides, Oh god, pesticides, they make
a human taste amazing.
Speaker 3: Yeh.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Guy has the smallest gages that he keeps all of
his things and brings up the flavor. Yeah, they have
to willow in their filth and then it's just kind
of tasting filth.
Speaker 4: Filth is it is an unbelievable asset sugar and spice.
Filth is where it's at. You want to roll it
in dirt, you know, maybe cover it in a little
bit of piss and ship. I'm getting wet just thinking
about it. I'll be honest.
Speaker 3: He is, he is, I can see him. Pardon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so guys actually opened up a lot of slow
food restaurants down here.
Speaker 1: Food.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like fast you wait, an attornity, yeah, you know,
and it's not worth it. It's not worth it at all.
It really isn't. But hell so you're having what else
are you gonna do? Bitch? Yeah, he's you know, murder
king pizza.
Speaker 2: Slut mcdongles, mcdonals, mcdonals, Yeah, dongle do you're right?
Speaker 3: You know I'm hating it. Yeah, you're up late. What
are you gonna do? Donalds? Suck down a dong you know,
That's That's what I'm playing off of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what do they served at mcdonalls.
Speaker 2: If I'm correct, you serve like only fish flats? But
it's made from fish from the River Dicks. So it's
fish from the river Dicks.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh, they're swimming around there, they're they're biting at you.
Enormous amount of deaths reported from the fish. I love
it personally. That's where I get most of my most
of my meat supply.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 4: People can buy all hours of the night. They're not
loving it, you know, and that's uh, that's it's what's
it's what sustains me.
Speaker 2: Here.
Speaker 1: Give the people what they don't want. That's that's where
to win.
Speaker 3: You give the people what they don't want. You know,
it gets to be hard personally.
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, you know, man, I do not know much
about demon anatomy.
Speaker 3: What else?
Speaker 2: What other restaurants you've opened up, jizns you've heard of nos?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm quite proud.
Speaker 4: Of that, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dare I ask what you serve it? Giz knows,
what do you think?
Speaker 3: Yeah? You're eating it? That's exactly right.
Speaker 4: Okay, all right, now come on in, sit down, and
I'll fill you up fresh match every order.
Speaker 3: People think hell's easy. It's not easy.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 3: I'm pounding away. It's hot every order. It's hot and ready.
Speaker 2: It's fresh. Oh great sounds man, I can't wait to
check one out. You see, we've also got a blight
castle in ingut in in what in ingout gout So
Pizza slut, Yeah, it's it's a it's a place that
you go. We serve you really shitty pizza. And there's
also a prostitution ring.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh yeah, it's like.
Speaker 2: An escort service, but pizza. Oh you can't get a
better value for one special. Yeah, drug competitor with Dominos
domin Hose.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they just totally ripped off Pizza Slut whole mess
to just miemare. But they have the garlic bread. They
put the garlic paste on the crust.
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean yeah, that sounds good. Tweaked it way
better than giz Nose. I'll say that you.
Speaker 3: Went there a lot, though I don't know about that.
Speaker 1: No, I haven't been to jizz Nos.
Speaker 3: You have other places. We have the receipts. I got
your credit card, got it right here, Chris.
Speaker 4: You are loving it, loving giz Nose, catching Mitch his nose.
That's where Chris goes. That was the jiggle for the
whole commercial. We based it around you dins where Chris goes, Yeah,
fills his nose.
Speaker 3: You got a big nose. It's absolutely huge and geared
toward hill.
Speaker 1: Is it when you go in, you're like, instead of
supersize me, you're like, give me the Chris.
Speaker 3: You got it? Like you don't know.
Speaker 2: I appreciate you being facetious, but yeah, you've ordered the
Chris many times, like an extra Chrispy.
Speaker 3: That's just the.
Speaker 2: Certain where it is, oh crispy. Yeah, that's just now
he's catching it over. Took a minute, So Chris, I
mean you you you've been around have you Are there
any restaurants that you've seen that you might be interested
in trying out or anything?
Speaker 1: I did notice a taco hell that sounds okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a pretty common one down here.
Speaker 2: We got a Slugways, Lugways, poop Eyes, hoop Eyes.
Speaker 3: You're making me hungry, so I guess I can eat.
I don't know if you know that I can eat.
Speaker 2: Is it just a thing where people maybe go to
poop Eyes and then stop by giz Nose for dessert?
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's really It's a perfect system we got going
on here with no nutrition, no nutritional value whatsoever, but
you always leave hungry. That's my guarantee. So you go
from one restaurant to the next, fill you up, you know,
hopefully endgame is you're dead. Yeah, we use a corpse.
We cooked that into the next meal. And this is
how we may make a successful business. You know.
Speaker 3: We we give one customer to the next.
Speaker 1: That's great.
Speaker 3: It's literal synergy.
Speaker 2: Get the pink special at Poop Eyes, that's right, Yeah,
that's there, that's her, that's our favorite.
Speaker 1: And then what else is there?
Speaker 3: Oh, Wendy's Wendy's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, really, try the spicy chicken sandwhich is amazing.
Speaker 3: It's honestly amazing.
Speaker 1: Just as we actually have that. We have that up
on Earth.
Speaker 3: People give me a lot of shit.
Speaker 2: I'm an entrepreneur, Okay, it's it's it's part of his heritage,
you know, like guys from Flavortown, from Flavortown. Yeah, it's
an actual place down here in hell Flavortown. What Yeah,
doesn't you talk about it in the TV show?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, Dinners drive in and Dies. Now the GOLDI
The end of every episode is you drop dead and
then we send you down here and then we cook
you and eat you.
Speaker 1: Yum.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh absolutely, that's our cats phrase, yum, question mark.
Speaker 1: Where's Flavortown located?
Speaker 2: It's the neighborhood next door. It's like right over here,
it's it's across the street. Chris, Oh yeah, you're you
live near the only bathrooms in Hell, so you you
should know.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, we see you.
Speaker 1: We're waiting, we're waiting.
Speaker 3: Come on in, man.
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess there's there a sponsor, so I.
Speaker 3: Wonder it's not gonna be anymore. I don't want to
get demonized. That's why you should be in charge right there.
That's the kind of hit comedy. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Thanks, guy, that's a really genuine what's a very very
genuine guy we were talking mentioned him earlier had a
friend named Blayane Gibson, and he was so focused on
getting Blake Gibson.
Speaker 4: That guy was a legend up on earth, big fat fatty.
I'd point him out all the time. You're like, look
at that fatso fa.
Speaker 2: What it hurt?
Speaker 3: I loved him.
Speaker 4: That he betrayed me, well betrayed. You got a gym membership,
and honestly, my heart shatted.
Speaker 3: I couldn't believe it. This one Gibson guy. You guys,
you need to ease up.
Speaker 2: On it.
Speaker 3: He sounds like a.
Speaker 2: Nice guy, this guy with whom I have no relationship.
Speaker 3: Definitely, whatever he may be.
Speaker 1: Are there any like cooking shows down in Hell?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's there's Heck's Kitchen, Hex's Kitchen. Yeah, it's like
Hell's Kitchen. But we didn't get the rights to Hell's
Kitchen because asked it's Yeah.
Speaker 1: They took the rights to help his kitchen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Gordon Gordon did.
Speaker 2: Yeah. He's a cunning businessman and all of our lawyers.
Wow yeah, I mean, guy, outside of of your cooking
and you're you know, making people unhealthy up on the
earth round, what else do you do?
Speaker 3: What else? We are some of your hobbies and things
you know? Well, yeah, I appreciate that, Clayton, thank you.
I like to I like to sit around. Oh yeah,
oh exist, okay mildly.
Speaker 4: I feel like, you know, humans up there, as I've observed,
they move around too much, and they expend a lot
of energy.
Speaker 3: Living and breathing. So I try to make up for
that by just uh not moving.
Speaker 4: From a single spot. I'd like to time myself for
a period to see how long I can go.
Speaker 2: Without actually doing anything. It's marinating, yeah, merinating, in my
own filth. That's a good it's a very good descriptor.
Speaker 1: You know, what's your record?
Speaker 4: My record is four years and six days. Oh, and
I'm honestly, you know, I'm going to open up in
here a little bit. I'm embarrassed about that because I
feel like I could do better than that, and I
deserve better than that. And uh, you know what's wrong
with just laying about.
Speaker 3: In your own waist. I believe in you.
Speaker 1: I think you can do it.
Speaker 3: Some people call it wasting time. I call it wasting time.
Speaker 1: Do you export up to Earth?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, O.
Speaker 2: My main exports down here in Hell. It's mayonnaise, ranch dressing,
sour cream.
Speaker 3: You know, cottage cheese, mayonnaise. They love it.
Speaker 4: Hey, here's some disgusting congealed fat. They can't get enough
of it. I put in every dish I have accelerates
death five.
Speaker 1: Because you're famous, your world famous? What was like before
your Hell famous? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Guy Ferrari? You flattering?
Speaker 1: What was your rise to fame?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: It was hot and spicy? Was my rise to fame?
Speaker 4: You know? I was sent up there with a mission
and I saw all these disgusting meat bags, and I thought,
what's the fastest possible way to kill these people. Send
them downstairs, you know, it makes something useful out of
the lives in their deaths and uh, just cholesterol.
Speaker 3: Doing a great job and then suck it down.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: It's just like, hey, you want to eat this triple
bypass whatnot? Fuck it? And they love it. It doesn't
make any sense. Hey, this will kill you.
Speaker 2: You want to eat it?
Speaker 3: Yes, I will, and I'll pay handsomely for it. Yeah,
so that's what they do.
Speaker 1: Man.
Speaker 2: I just couldn't imagine someone like whose job it is
just to like eat fast food or something and then
like talk about it.
Speaker 4: It's unbelievable. These people are Cretons, Creton's. It depends on globe.
You'run down here. We'll just call them fuck wads. But
these people, they'll dedicate the whole podcasts going out eating food,
talking about the food.
Speaker 2: Man, it's unbelievable, and people listen to it. It's they
don't and they shouldn't, you know.
Speaker 4: But my goal at the end of the day is
hopefully they burned hell, you know, and then they come
to my restaurant. I feed them, they die again. I
use the body for the bones. The next people eat them.
It's just a cycle, circle circle.
Speaker 1: Who's who's the most delicious person that you've eaten?
Speaker 3: Ginghis Khan?
Speaker 1: Kings k Yeah, delicious. What's he tastes like?
Speaker 3: It tastes like the population because he fucked everybody.
Speaker 2: So he's kind of like how they say everyone tastes
like chicken. Everybody everyone is out there saying in health.
He got out there, he played the game.
Speaker 1: So it's health's chicken is ginghis Khan?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's correct.
Speaker 1: Do you have any family?
Speaker 4: I had him at a young age. But they were delicious. Oh,
I thank them for making me what I am today.
They were hot and ready.
Speaker 2: I don't want to speak ill of the dead, but
there were some wicked thoughts.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So they kind of gave back to the world
in their own.
Speaker 4: Way, absolutely, you know, through methane gas. That's what it's
all about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure there's a whole special place in hell
for the people who just want to breathe that in. So,
are you here to promote one of your restaurants.
Speaker 3: Or oh you know that I am.
Speaker 4: Obviously it's just the Monday Fun Day Chris Special. Woh
that Chris Special.
Speaker 1: That's you.
Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't tell him about a guy. I assume
that's why he was here. Yeah, no, no, So gonna
be a bit of a surprise on Good Morning from Hell.
Speaker 2: But basically, Chris guy has a Monday special and yours,
I mean entree, like you're we're gonna serve you up.
Speaker 4: Oh, we're gonna base you all the kind of grease
and fat and slop, you know, and then the people
are gonna fucking.
Speaker 3: Tell you the shreds.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we're got a whole packed full of demons and
they're just gonna eat you up. You'll be okay, you'll survive,
you'll regenerate, but then we'll serve you in the next week,
and then the following week, and then the week after that.
Speaker 3: It'll be every Monday. You're gonna be So it's a hit. Yeah,
you gotta get the people what they want, and then
what they want is your you know, they want you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll start you out like it's like a special
menu kind of thing, like, oh, it's the it's the
mcrib's m Chris.
Speaker 3: Mc Chris, Chris. It's limited time.
Speaker 4: But here's the thing, it's not it's not really We're
gonna keep bringing it back. Yeah, we're just gonna tear
your ass to shreds. Theyre're just gonna go still on you.
Speaker 1: I guess that's something that that'll happen.
Speaker 3: Huh, Yeah, it's gonna happen. It's already happening. Well, we
don't have to. We got a first customer right here. Oh,
they're lining up out the door.
Speaker 1: Well, we don't have to end the show.
Speaker 3: We can though. Yeah, no, this has gone long enough.
We need to serve you up. There's a bunch of
hungry demons out there. Hey, who wants Chris made? Look
a listening to that. I hope you're ready, Chris? Are
you ready?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 2: All right, well guy, thanks for coming by, Chris, thanks
for having me. Yeah, this has been good morning from hell.
Make sure you tell your friends about us. We're obviously
a very family friendly podcast. Everyone can listen.
Speaker 3: I guess I'll go outside now, assume the position Hall Clinton. Hey, guys.
Speaker 2: Our special guest this week was Michael Jones, who has
a brand new podcast called