Speaker 1: Hi, I'm John Jay Murphy and I welcome you to
Speaker 1: the Change Mastery Show with my co host, doctor Pat Together,
Speaker 1: we invite you to think differently about change, not as
Speaker 1: something to fear or resist, but has a powerful opportunity
Speaker 1: for growth, empowerment, joy and life masters my vision to
Speaker 1: help millions of people shift from victimhood to leadership, from
Speaker 1: ego to spirit, and from hesitation and resistance to flow.
Speaker 1: This is an opportunity for you to get out of
Speaker 1: your own way and experience life, life with more courage, confidence,
Speaker 1: and hi, hire purpose. Get ready to Change Mastery Shows.
Speaker 2: Wow, everybody, this is a great show. Okay, die Hard,
Speaker 2: We know that from Oh What Bruce Willis? But today's
Speaker 2: show is from one of John's twenty books and it
Speaker 2: is about habits, die Hard. So today we're going to
Speaker 2: take a look at what the ten steps are how
Speaker 2: to build successful habits. You know, we are creatures of habit.
Speaker 2: You know, if somebody like me, who is now pushing
Speaker 2: thirty seven years of sobriety, I know a lot about habits.
Speaker 2: I learned early on about Okay, I don't care what
Speaker 2: they say. Me sitting in a bar is probably not
Speaker 2: a great idea. But today we're going to break this
Speaker 2: down further. You know, how do you make good habits?
Speaker 2: What are good habits? Will they make you? Today? John's
Speaker 2: going to walk us through what the subconscious mind does.
Speaker 2: And yes, we have all got that. Is it powerful?
Speaker 2: How powerful is it? How do you even know what's
Speaker 2: going on? So today, how do you exchange bad habits
Speaker 2: for good habits? Believe it or not? Yes, John's going
Speaker 2: to show us how to do that. What are the
Speaker 2: ten steps? Where do I begin? And are we screaming?
Speaker 2: Are we there yet? Okay? Just like my first day
Speaker 2: of therapy, I'm like, okay, are we done today? Are
Speaker 2: we done? For my life? But maintaining the game once
Speaker 2: you're able to do it? How is it some of
Speaker 2: us have what it takes not to fall back, not
Speaker 2: to think that. Just give me one of those martinis?
Speaker 2: Just okay? Well, to be honest with you, never been
Speaker 2: my calling. John, Thank you for today, thank you, thank
Speaker 2: you for this show. Because I think we have habits
Speaker 2: and we're developing them more and more and we don't
Speaker 2: know it. I will tell you this. I live in
Speaker 2: a beautiful place and when I look out and see
Speaker 2: people walk, they're doing one or two things, one of
Speaker 2: three things. They're either walking with their cell phone, walking
Speaker 2: with their dog, or walking with their dog and their
Speaker 2: cell phone.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and here in South Florida the dog is
Speaker 1: usually in a stroller. You see that all the time.
Speaker 1: You know what habits are creatures of habits. You've brought
Speaker 1: that up. And habits can be friends or foes. So
Speaker 1: the real key is to say, what is my subconscious
Speaker 1: mind telling me, and it's telling you whatever it is
Speaker 1: you're behaving like, So if you're behaving, if you have
Speaker 1: a tendency to get impatient, you know in traffic, you
Speaker 1: have a tendency to get angry in certain situations. You
Speaker 1: have a tendency to feel guilty or ashamed. You have
Speaker 1: a tendency to stress out and worry a lot. Those
Speaker 1: are foes. Those are not healthy habits. You know, if
Speaker 1: you have a tendency to wake up in the morning
Speaker 1: with a sense of gratitude, and maybe your routine is
Speaker 1: to spend twenty or thirty minutes meditating every morning, which
Speaker 1: is what I do, not listening to my phone or
Speaker 1: list tuning into my emails, which is where you're delegating
Speaker 1: your agenda to something external. Take control and start with
Speaker 1: something as simple as quiet time. Just get centered. And
Speaker 1: we've talked a lot about that on this show. I
Speaker 1: like something that doctor Joe Despendses says. He says, what
Speaker 1: fires together, wires together. Doctor Joe is a he's essentially
Speaker 1: a brain expert, and he's talking about neurons in the brain.
Speaker 1: And so when we think, Earl Nightingale said this, we
Speaker 1: become what we think. So if whatever is the story,
Speaker 1: we're telling ourselves whatever we think and focus on and
Speaker 1: dwell on in time, wires together, what fires together, wires together.
Speaker 1: There's an ancient Chinese proverb which says habits are cobwebs
Speaker 1: at first, cables at last. It's pretty much the same thing,
Speaker 1: you know, Doctor Joe is saying that at first, it's
Speaker 1: just a bunch of thoughts, and we think these thoughts
Speaker 1: long enough they become beliefs, and then beliefs get downloaded
Speaker 1: into the subconscious and we go through life over ninety percent,
Speaker 1: ninety five percent of the time replaying whatever the programs are.
Speaker 1: We have that inner story. So that's really the very
Speaker 1: first step, you know, of the ten steps, is to
Speaker 1: identify and define the habit we want to change or
Speaker 1: we want to develop, and if we want to develop
Speaker 1: a new habit that successful people have we have, we
Speaker 1: want to exchange whatever it is we're doing now for
Speaker 1: that new habit. We want to adopt it. But we
Speaker 1: have to be really clear on what it is we're
Speaker 1: doing now that we want to change, which leads to
Speaker 1: the second step, which is measure it. So let's just
Speaker 1: say I have a tendency to stress out a lot. Well,
Speaker 1: how often are you stressing out most of the day?
Speaker 1: Is it hourly? Is it once or twice a month?
Speaker 1: Let's be real clear and specific, and then we get
Speaker 1: into another step, which is analyze it. Why are you
Speaker 1: stressing out? And we've talked a lot on this show
Speaker 1: about root cause analysis. Let's drill down to why are
Speaker 1: you stressing out? And what we uncover is it's that
Speaker 1: subconscious programming. Doctor Wayne Dyer talked talked he called the
Speaker 1: subconscious mind, the habitual mind, the autopilot. So we want
Speaker 1: to start by right up front examining what autopilot are
Speaker 1: we on and is it friend or foe? Because what
Speaker 1: we want to do we are creatures a habit. So
Speaker 1: like it or not? You want to have habit? Yeah,
Speaker 1: habits are good for us if they're friends, because they
Speaker 1: make life easier. That if your autopilot is programmed to
Speaker 1: bring you more joy and peace and laughter and progress
Speaker 1: and open mindedness, and your habit is to learn something
Speaker 1: new every day, if your habit is to simply smile
Speaker 1: a lot and be kind to people, if your habit
Speaker 1: is to open up your mind in lego of criticism
Speaker 1: and judgment and negativity. So the reverse of that is
Speaker 1: somebody who has got a tendency, a habit of always
Speaker 1: seeing what's wrong with the world. Focusing on, you know,
Speaker 1: the environment's falling apart, the government's corrupt, focusing on it's
Speaker 1: raining outside, I wish it was sunny. Focusing on anything
Speaker 1: that's different than the now is creating inner conflict. When
Speaker 1: we disagree with what's going on right now, we are
Speaker 1: creating internal stress, which is not healthy. That kind of
Speaker 1: stress is not healthy. Now, if we go to the
Speaker 1: gym and we exercise, and that's a good habit as
Speaker 1: long as we do it correctly. You go to gym
Speaker 1: and we exercise, Okay, that kind of stress is healthy.
Speaker 1: You're stressing your muscles, You're stressing your body a little bit,
Speaker 1: so that when that relaxes and recovers, it grows stronger.
Speaker 1: So the idea of habits. I remember somebody very close
Speaker 1: to me, actually an addict, an alcoholic and drug addict,
Speaker 1: said to me, you know, John, it's I have addictions.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm an addict. And I said, yeah, so
Speaker 1: am I. She was like, what what do you mean, boy,
Speaker 1: do you have a drinking problem. No, I'm addicted to
Speaker 1: other things. I'm addicted to lifelong learning. I'm addicted to success.
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to feeling really good and going to the
Speaker 1: gym and meditating and doing positive things. I'm addicted to
Speaker 1: loving relationships. I'm addicted to positivity. I don't see all
Speaker 1: the negative in the world because you become what you
Speaker 1: think about or a lighting gilt. I don't want to
Speaker 1: look at it. I don't watch the news. I know
Speaker 1: people who are addicted to the news. Really, you know,
Speaker 1: all you're doing is tuning into negative things. You know,
Speaker 1: if it's negative, it sells. It's what the journalists all say.
Speaker 1: You know, people really don't want to hear a lot
Speaker 1: of positive stuff. They want to see drama. So that's
Speaker 1: addicted to ego. If I'm addicted to ego, the false self.
Speaker 1: I don't see the beauty in the world. I only
Speaker 1: see what's wrong. So we have to be real careful
Speaker 1: up front to really do an assessment, you know. And
Speaker 1: I'm a business consultant, and I go in and I
Speaker 1: lead culture change, which think about that, that's habit change organizationally.
Speaker 1: Now we're changing fifty five thousand people's habits collectively, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm working with companies with fifty five sixty sixty five
Speaker 1: thousand people, one hundred thousand people. How do you shift
Speaker 1: that kind of behavior? Okay? And the way you do
Speaker 1: it is what I'm describing here in these ten ten steps.
Speaker 1: They apply to us individually as well. We start by
Speaker 1: defining the current state. What's the current state? How oft?
Speaker 1: And then we measure how often are you behaving this way? Okay?
Speaker 1: And then what is the impact of that? Is it healthy?
Speaker 1: If it's not healthy, what we call undesirable effect, why
Speaker 1: are we doing it? And we'd drilled down through root
Speaker 1: cause analysis. The third step the analysis to figure out like, okay,
Speaker 1: a change at this level, what I call a leverage point,
Speaker 1: changes everything. It's like a reprogramming. If I find the
Speaker 1: negative programming in my mind and I delete it and
Speaker 1: I feed my mind with something more healthy. Remember what
Speaker 1: we feed, we grow. If I feed it with something
Speaker 1: more positive, then the outputs are going to be the same.
Speaker 1: You've heard me talk in the past, doctor Pantam. The
Speaker 1: transfer function why is a function of X. Essentially we
Speaker 1: reap what we sew. And the IPO diagram the input
Speaker 1: process output diagram. So if you think about making an
Speaker 1: apple pie, the key inputs will be things like apples
Speaker 1: and ingredients, very specific of in temperature I'm in the oven.
Speaker 1: These variables, these are X factors, and if we hold
Speaker 1: those all consistent, we get very predictable outputs. We get
Speaker 1: a nice, tasty, you know, timely apple pie. So if
Speaker 1: you just now replace that with a recipe for life,
Speaker 1: what input variables do I have going on that propagate
Speaker 1: to the results I'm getting in life and my behavior?
Speaker 1: And if I'm not getting good results, I have to
Speaker 1: think about what are the inputs? Okay, if I'm think
Speaker 1: about a simple one of physical health, you know, if
Speaker 1: I'm overweight, or I've got a high blood sugar or
Speaker 1: high blood pressure, things like that, what are the inputs
Speaker 1: contributing to the outputs? So I can get on a
Speaker 1: treadmill all day long. But if my mind's thinking, you're
Speaker 1: I'm fat, out of shape, Okay, what I think I become?
Speaker 1: So if I think I'm something, there's something wrong with me.
Speaker 1: I could be on the treadmill forever and not. How
Speaker 1: many people do you know who are trying to lose
Speaker 1: weight who don't where they lose a little bit and
Speaker 1: it comes back, it's because they haven't changed their mindset.
Speaker 1: So an alternative to that is, if you get on
Speaker 1: that treadmill, you tell yourself I am losing weight, I
Speaker 1: am getting fit, I'm on my way to a target weight,
Speaker 1: a specific target weight, And now you are actually mind body,
Speaker 1: you are doing something healthy. Otherwise you're creating conflict internally.
Speaker 1: And that conflict it shows up as stress, shows up
Speaker 1: as fear, it shows up a shame. I'm ashamed of myself.
Speaker 1: You beat yourself up, things like that. So, I mean
Speaker 1: that's the heart of what we're going to be talking
Speaker 1: about this hour, and I'll just I'll stop talking now
Speaker 1: and give you a chance.
Speaker 2: To tell well, I'll tell you here to your point.
Speaker 2: I remember being what's the word that I want to use.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to be not so I remember really being
Speaker 2: called out the first time that I walked into an
Speaker 2: AA meeting and didn't say Hi, I'm Patty. I'm an
Speaker 2: addict alcoholic, right. I remember the first time. I didn't
Speaker 2: do that because there was a light bulb that went
Speaker 2: on in my recovery and I got so tired of
Speaker 2: everybody telling me how hard everything was. I really did
Speaker 2: and I thought back on when I quit smoking. Now,
Speaker 2: I don't care what people think, but when you put
Speaker 2: that nicotine in your body, there's something that goes on there, right,
Speaker 2: and we know that. We know that. But I quit
Speaker 2: that thing faster than I stopped eating cheesecake. But what's
Speaker 2: my point. I never saw it as hard when I
Speaker 2: put down that cigarette, John and I was three packs
Speaker 2: a day girl, not kidding. I could have made all
Speaker 2: the cigarette commercials, but I made my mind up. But
Speaker 2: I didn't make my mind up it would be hard.
Speaker 2: I didn't do that. And when I decided to put
Speaker 2: drugs and alcohol behind me, I didn't see it as
Speaker 2: hard either. But I was sitting around people that told
Speaker 2: me how hard it was going to be, and I
Speaker 2: had to do something about that. I've had a hard life,
Speaker 2: if you want to say that. But I've had a
Speaker 2: life full of experiences. I wouldn't replace anything in my life.
Speaker 1: Sure, but how am I going to hold it?
Speaker 2: And I think that let's talk about this because to
Speaker 2: your point, I believe we are all addicted to something.
Speaker 2: Now that is a global statement, and I'm going to
Speaker 2: say it's my opinion, so I don't have that written down.
Speaker 2: But there are things that we define as habits in life.
Speaker 2: Some of them are good, and some of them may
Speaker 2: do us harm. But there's something about me the way
Speaker 2: we live, right, there's something that draws us. And now
Speaker 2: with social media, I'm telling you, John, people cannot put
Speaker 2: down their phone. But let's go through the steps, because
Speaker 2: I do believe we have a choice. You know what.
Speaker 2: The greatest decision I made in my recovery. And by
Speaker 2: the way, I still walk into meetings and I announce
Speaker 2: who I am and I say I'm recovered. That's what
Speaker 2: I say, I'm recovered, because that's where I see myself
Speaker 2: or I don't see anything, or I say my name.
Speaker 2: But here's the line in the book that grabbed me
Speaker 2: and I never looked back. And it's in one of
Speaker 2: the early chapters called we Agnostics, which mentions God in
Speaker 2: spirit one hundred and twelve times, so there's nothing agnostic
Speaker 2: about that channel. What a great trick, Thank you, Bill Wilson.
Speaker 2: God is God either is or God isn't. And they
Speaker 2: let you have the God of your understanding whatever you want,
Speaker 2: you say. I got kwan yin in the back, I
Speaker 2: got boot in the bag, I got the tree of
Speaker 2: life in a bag. So people have to figure out
Speaker 2: what I actually believe in. But God eitherre isn't God.
Speaker 2: God either is or God isn't. God is either everything
Speaker 2: or God is nothing. What will I choose? And I
Speaker 2: chose to believe everything everything on my doorstick. I'm an optimist.
Speaker 2: When they asked me, is the glass half empty and
Speaker 2: half full? I said, this is the stupidest damn question
Speaker 2: you ever asked. My glass is always full. So I
Speaker 2: don't understand why people fill any glass half way or anything.
Speaker 1: Well, it's a perspective, and the glass is either half
Speaker 1: full or half empty. That's that's pretty factual. There's two
Speaker 1: sides to the same coin. You have coins the glass,
Speaker 1: all right, and if people are negative, okay, they see
Speaker 1: it as basically half half deb half empty. And you
Speaker 1: know you said something earlier about cigarette smoking and drinking.
Speaker 1: If you think it's bad for you, your body will
Speaker 1: prove you right. If you think it's it's okay, it's okay.
Speaker 1: If you do something that you think is wrong, it's
Speaker 1: bad for you, if you're neutral or you think it's
Speaker 1: good for you. George Burns was on Johnny Carson. I
Speaker 1: never forget this. Johnny Carson said, how many of those?
Speaker 1: And he's sitting there smoking the cigars, because how many
Speaker 1: of those cigars just smoke a day? And George Burns
Speaker 1: said four or five? And Johnny's just like, what does
Speaker 1: your doctor think of that? George Burns looks right at
Speaker 1: me and he goes, my doctor's dead. That's classic George Burns. Okay. Now,
Speaker 1: I know people have smoked their whole lives and they
Speaker 1: live to be, you know, ninety. And I know people
Speaker 1: have never touched one but lung cancer. Okay. I know
Speaker 1: people who are the most healthy diets and exercise and
Speaker 1: they die in marathons. Okay, So we have to be
Speaker 1: careful to be extreme here. In a lot of the
Speaker 1: Dow teachings, the spiritual teachings teach balance, okay, and moderation.
Speaker 1: So I think it's the extremists that really get themselves
Speaker 1: into the most trouble one way or the other. Because
Speaker 1: the habit there is judgment, and if a person's overly
Speaker 1: judging and critical, okay, that's dangerous. That's a dangerous habit.
Speaker 1: It's much healthier to be open minded and contemplative, which
Speaker 1: is why meditation is so valuable because you're not sitting
Speaker 1: there thinking about good and bad okay, you're thinking about
Speaker 1: harmony and balance. Everything's in perfect harmony. When you're in
Speaker 1: perfect harmony, the world's just reflecting back what you got
Speaker 1: going on internally. So if you see things that are
Speaker 1: upsetting or disturbing and you have a tendency to get agitated, okay,
Speaker 1: your body is proving you right by what you think,
Speaker 1: so you think you're right. Where other people can look
Speaker 1: at the world, go, I think it's absolutely beautiful and
Speaker 1: it's yin and yang. It's perfect harmony and balance. So
Speaker 1: the secrets of these, you know, break exchanging one habit
Speaker 1: for another, And there's number one to identify and define
Speaker 1: it and then feel it. What does this habit feel
Speaker 1: like when I behave this way? How do I feel?
Speaker 1: Does it make me feel guilty or ashamed? Does it
Speaker 1: make me feel angry or stressed, or does it make
Speaker 1: me feel doubtful? Okay, if it does, that's that's dead weight.
Speaker 1: And if you think back to we had to show
Speaker 1: on the map of consciousness, if it's if it's one
Speaker 1: of those lower frequency energy shame and guilt and grief
Speaker 1: and apathy and fear and lust and even in anger
Speaker 1: and even pride, those lower eight frequencies, that's that's not
Speaker 1: healthy in the long run. That's weighing you down. So
Speaker 1: if you feel weighed down, the buddhas said this, if
Speaker 1: you feel weighed down by anything a person, a job,
Speaker 1: a location, a relationship, anything that is weighing you down,
Speaker 1: you're the problem by what you're thinking. You need to
Speaker 1: make a change, all right, be the change. You need
Speaker 1: to just exchange whatever is weighing you down for a
Speaker 1: different thought process, because what's weighing you down is what
Speaker 1: you think. Okay, it's not the other person, it's not
Speaker 1: the situation, it's not the job or the boss. You
Speaker 1: just think that because that's ego. It's your thinking that
Speaker 1: weighs you down. Remember what Earl Nightingale said, You become
Speaker 1: what you think, So be careful what you think and
Speaker 1: that's where the habits form. Okay, they're cobwebs at first,
Speaker 1: and then they're still changed, so to speak, wired together
Speaker 1: at the end. And then that's even of course harder
Speaker 1: to break. So the ten steps just to work through
Speaker 1: a first of the field. You we identify it and
Speaker 1: define it what exactly, And I invite the audience now
Speaker 1: to think about a habit they want to change. It
Speaker 1: could be like you said, I'm on my cell phone
Speaker 1: too much, I don't have enough time. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: stressed because I'm overwhelmed. Okay. Then that's what we're going
Speaker 1: to look at. Okay, and then we're going to get
Speaker 1: into what does it feel like to be overwhelmed? Oh god,
Speaker 1: I'm losing it, you know, and I'm tempted to go
Speaker 1: to the bar. I'm tempted to do something abusive to
Speaker 1: my body. I'm you know, I mean, it affects my
Speaker 1: relationships with people. It's just it's just I know it's
Speaker 1: not healthy. Okay. So you've identified it, and you've defined it,
Speaker 1: and you've felt it. Here's the other thing I want
Speaker 1: to say that's very important, and it goes back to
Speaker 1: ole Zen teaching. What if it's if it's a feeling
Speaker 1: that's weighing you down. Do not resist it. That's like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, what you're trying to resist that drink?
Speaker 1: You're trying to resist that anger or that guilt. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what I'm saying, because anything you resist you
Speaker 1: make stronger. You're feeding it by giving your attention to it.
Speaker 1: You're locking the front door. There's end teaching is let
Speaker 1: it in the front door and let it out the
Speaker 1: back door, but don't invite it. For Tea, don't harbor it.
Speaker 1: Byron Katie used to say, thoughts are like birds landing,
Speaker 1: you know, in a tree. Don't let them nest there
Speaker 1: in your tree, your brain. If it's not healthy, they're
Speaker 1: going to come and go. And you have the power
Speaker 1: to dismiss anything that absolutely not working for you. Don't
Speaker 1: let them nest in your tree. So we identify it,
Speaker 1: we process it, so to speak, and we feel it.
Speaker 1: What does it feel like? What does it feel like
Speaker 1: before I do this? What does it feel like when
Speaker 1: I do this? What does it feel like after I
Speaker 1: do it? And I've talked about your egs, your emotional
Speaker 1: guidance system, and we all have one, and our emotional
Speaker 1: guidance system them is teaching us something. And so if
Speaker 1: we feel angry, if we feel depressed, if we feel guilty,
Speaker 1: if we feel doubtful, whatever it is we're feeling, our
Speaker 1: emotional guidance system is telling us you're of course, you're
Speaker 1: of course because you should. You're born to feel joyful,
Speaker 1: You're born in peace, You're born to be joyful. It's
Speaker 1: the essence of the world. Trees don't try to grow tall,
Speaker 1: flowers don't try to bloom. They do because that's their essence.
Speaker 1: They're supposed to. We're the same way. But from an
Speaker 1: very early age we start getting downloaded with all kinds
Speaker 1: of things and labels. I'm of this or I'm a that.
Speaker 1: And so when you say I'm an addict, okay, you've
Speaker 1: just that's a program. Yeah, I'm an addict. But what
Speaker 1: my thinking is, I'm an addict of something bad that
Speaker 1: I'm trying to beat. Why don't you just say I'm
Speaker 1: an addict for something great? Exactly, it's in exchange. So,
Speaker 1: I mean, we are creatures of habit, and highly successful
Speaker 1: people have highly successful habits, whether it's physical. And so
Speaker 1: I invite the audience to think about this, think about
Speaker 1: different outputs in your life, different why factors? Why is
Speaker 1: a function of X? So let's think about physical Is
Speaker 1: there a habit you want to change physically? How about mental?
Speaker 1: Is there a habit you want to change mentally? Highly
Speaker 1: effective people are totally into self help, lifelong learning, reading books,
Speaker 1: listening to podcasts like this. They're not listening to a
Speaker 1: bunch of junk. Okay, they're they're they're getting sharper over
Speaker 1: the years, not declining if you will. So you know, mental, emotional,
Speaker 1: what's an emoment? You know one? Am I feeling emotionally stressed? Or? Okay?
Speaker 1: How about relationships? How do I feel in certain relationships?
Speaker 1: Are they draining me? So you start to look at
Speaker 1: the output factors. How am I doing financially? Do I
Speaker 1: have a tendency to blow money on stupid stuff? You know,
Speaker 1: I'm up at two in the morning buying things, you know,
Speaker 1: addicted to that, you know? And you know I'm addicted
Speaker 1: to a missing work from time to time, and you know,
Speaker 1: because I hate my job. These are important things to examine.
Speaker 1: So we examine them, we feel them, we measure them.
Speaker 1: How often are we feeling this way? And then we
Speaker 1: start to say why ask why. That's an analysis. It's
Speaker 1: the first why do I do this? Why do I
Speaker 1: feel this way? Why am I? Why am I programmed
Speaker 1: this way? All right? And remember something, the subconscious mind
Speaker 1: is a million times more powerful than the conscious mind
Speaker 1: in terms of processing data. It's like forty million bits
Speaker 1: of data per second to one million bits of data
Speaker 1: per second. So here's another thing. If I say to
Speaker 1: myself consciously, which is the will I will change this habit?
Speaker 1: And if the subconscious programming is saying no, you won't, No,
Speaker 1: you won't. You've tried that ten times, that's not gonna work.
Speaker 1: Guess what, You're just going to keep replaying the past
Speaker 1: because the subconscious is all programmed by the past, and
Speaker 1: it can only be in the now. The subconscious mind
Speaker 1: doesn't have creative capacity. It can't be thinking about tomorrow
Speaker 1: or the next day, and it can't be thinking about
Speaker 1: something that happened ten years ago, although that's downloaded into it.
Speaker 1: The subconscious mind is driving the car while your conscious
Speaker 1: mind is thinking about who knows what. Because the other
Speaker 1: thing is the conscious mind can only think of one
Speaker 1: thing at a time. You cannot hear two conversations at once.
Speaker 1: You know, if you're in a room with people and
Speaker 1: there's multiple conversations. It's one or the other. You cannot
Speaker 1: you cannot hear both. You can only think just say
Speaker 1: about one. It cannot multitask. Let me put it that way.
Speaker 1: So while we're thinking about whatever we're thinking, by the way,
Speaker 1: the conscious mind is not present very often, which is
Speaker 1: why meditation is so important. The conscious minds thinking about
Speaker 1: tomorrow or last week. And I like the metaphor, if
Speaker 1: you will, of a golfer, if you're ready to hit
Speaker 1: the ball and you're thinking about, geez, I really screwed
Speaker 1: up on the last hole, or you're thinking about you know,
Speaker 1: I'm there's water up there, and I'm what if I'm
Speaker 1: going to hit it in the water, you probably will, Okay,
Speaker 1: you become what you think. So a real skilled golfer
Speaker 1: is very present. They've let go of whatever's behind them.
Speaker 1: They're focused on putting the ball in that hole out there.
Speaker 1: It's the same thing I'm sure in ping pong you're
Speaker 1: you have to be present and let go of the past.
Speaker 1: So these are these are the beginning steps. And if
Speaker 1: I'm not playing well, so to speak, and it doesn't
Speaker 1: feel good to lose and I ask myself, why am
Speaker 1: I Why am I losing? Okay, and we get to
Speaker 1: root cause those X factors. So if I change my
Speaker 1: diet and I eliminate sugar a lot of sugar in
Speaker 1: my diet, okay, and I supplement my food with certain
Speaker 1: supplements targeted at my as my at my liver. By
Speaker 1: the way, the liver is critical here because if if
Speaker 1: you've heard the word livid, well that comes from if
Speaker 1: the liver is out of balance, you're either depressed or
Speaker 1: you're angry, because depression is anger turned internally. So if
Speaker 1: you have a tendency to feel depressed or tendency to
Speaker 1: feel angry, it's because it's because your liver's probably out
Speaker 1: of balance. And there are all kinds of very healthy
Speaker 1: things you can do for your livers like milk, thistle
Speaker 1: right and things like you know, even lemon water, just
Speaker 1: very targeted things NAC NAC. So you learn these things
Speaker 1: and you make an adjustment on the inputs to get
Speaker 1: a better output. It's it's it's science. It's physics, you know,
Speaker 1: Albert Einstein said, this is not philosophy. This is physics.
Speaker 1: You know. It's it's causing effect relationships. So now we
Speaker 1: now we start to visualize a change. What is this?
Speaker 1: What does this new habit? What does this exchange look like?
Speaker 1: What does this new habit look like? Here's one. I'm
Speaker 1: going to start eating dinner a little earlier and going
Speaker 1: for a walk after dinner without my h without listening
Speaker 1: to uh, some nonsense. Maybe it's called music. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: a productive podcast. Maybe it's nothing at all. I'm going
Speaker 1: to listen to the birds singing things like that. But
Speaker 1: I'm going to make that a new routine. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna give myself a break. I'm going to eat
Speaker 1: something more more nutritious. I'm going to eliminate something from
Speaker 1: my diet that's that's unhealthy. I'm going to walk or
Speaker 1: do some form of exercise, and ideally we walk after
Speaker 1: a meal at night, that's one of the best times,
Speaker 1: or early morning. You can combine walking with meditation. I'm
Speaker 1: going to do a walking meditation. I'm not gonna walk
Speaker 1: with my earbuds in and you know, listening to some
Speaker 1: nonsense I have. It could be as simple as I'm
Speaker 1: gonna turn off the news. I turned off the news
Speaker 1: like thirty years ago, doctor pat give me bomb is
Speaker 1: bombarding me with negativity and worry and stress and oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, there's things going on on the other side
Speaker 1: of the planet. Here's an exercise for everybody. Write down
Speaker 1: all the things you can control, write down all of
Speaker 1: the things you cannot control, and let go of all
Speaker 1: the things you cannot control, stop even thinking about them.
Speaker 1: Think about what you can control, and control the controllables.
Speaker 1: So and by the way, what you can control is
Speaker 1: a very short list. But you cannot control what goes
Speaker 1: on for infinities. So if I'm if I'm root cause analysis,
Speaker 1: if I'm stressing out a lot, and I'm stressing out
Speaker 1: about things I have no control over, the only one
Speaker 1: you're hurting is you because you can't do anything for
Speaker 1: what's outside your control. Maybe you can pray. That might help,
Speaker 1: but you cannot if you're putting all your attention on
Speaker 1: things you can't control. And meanwhile, you're not attending to
Speaker 1: what you can control, what's within your grasp. And you
Speaker 1: know with things you can do, you got you don't
Speaker 1: know your priorities straight. So that's another factor here is
Speaker 1: let's let's examine our priorities. Okay. Stephen Covey in the
Speaker 1: in the best selling book The Seven Habits of Highly
Speaker 1: Successful People. One of those seven habits was put first
Speaker 1: things first. Another one was start with the end of mind.
Speaker 1: That's the visualized thing. What is it I want to
Speaker 1: experience in life in terms of lifestyle, health, wellness, fitness,
Speaker 1: financial relationships. I want the ideal life. And then we
Speaker 1: identify anything that's obstructing that or tripping us up. It's just,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm spending too much time doing things that
Speaker 1: are taking me in the wrong direction. So what can
Speaker 1: I do to do? Then? This is doctor pat this
Speaker 1: is what I learned many many many years ago, decades ago,
Speaker 1: and it's changed my life entirely. I live an ideal
Speaker 1: life right now. I really do. And and it's because
Speaker 1: of the consistency, if you will, of the habits. All right, So, uh,
Speaker 1: next what we do? And you've heard me talk about
Speaker 1: f m E a failure mode in effect analysis. So
Speaker 1: the next step is we've got a vision of what
Speaker 1: our ideal is. Yes, but now we have Now we
Speaker 1: have direction, and we we have identified conflicts. So the
Speaker 1: story I've been telling myself needs to change. The news
Speaker 1: story is I'm on my way to this ideal lifestyle.
Speaker 1: I'm on my way because we have unlimited capacity. I'm
Speaker 1: on my way. So now what's the risk? What could
Speaker 1: I what could I trip over? What could I get
Speaker 1: in trouble with? Now? By the way, as we ascend consciously,
Speaker 1: like on the map of consciousness, we will leave relationships.
Speaker 2: Behind, exactly, John, that's John to your point. Listen to
Speaker 2: this here. In two thousand and one, I got the idea.
Speaker 2: It was called the transformation network. I grabbed the domain.
Speaker 2: I didn't know anything about the domain. You know, Bob
Speaker 2: Parson had just started to go daddy, and I went
Speaker 2: in and I got like this domain and that domain
Speaker 2: and crossbusting and I got them. I saw it on
Speaker 2: a windshield of my car right over the I ninety.
Speaker 2: What's in place today is what I saw and what
Speaker 2: is to be in place five years from now. But
Speaker 2: the risk part, we don't talk about it enough. And
Speaker 2: I really want you to talk about this because I
Speaker 2: walked away from what everybody else start I should be doing.
Speaker 2: My partner, I did not get in a relationship with
Speaker 2: a doctor so that you could do what by airtime
Speaker 2: start positive talk. Which no, but I didn't do a
Speaker 2: good job of assessing that risk. Not that I would
Speaker 2: have changed that. But what happens with that is sometimes
Speaker 2: it's like you said, there was a risk that I
Speaker 2: would lose friends, that I would lose colleagues. My friend
Speaker 2: Claudia white Sand's consulting. She's like, you're not going to
Speaker 2: do these federal contracts with me anymore. I said, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not. We're still friends, but we don't work together.
Speaker 2: But talk about the risk because I think what happens
Speaker 2: sometimes and walk us through this is I never saw
Speaker 2: this as a risk. This I never saw. The vision
Speaker 2: was clear, it was in my heart. I felt I
Speaker 2: knew what to do in the moment, and year after
Speaker 2: year after year until two thousand and nine and the
Speaker 2: worst economic downturn and the universe gave me an opportunity
Speaker 2: to partner with Rhode Island and launch the network in
Speaker 2: a way I hadn't figured out how to do. But
Speaker 2: this idea of assess the risk, talk about that because
Speaker 2: I believe sometimes that we assess the risk and our
Speaker 2: failure radar goes on right or other people's opinion is
Speaker 2: seen as I'm gonna what I'm gonna risk, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: lose all my friends and colleagues. Okay, can you talk
Speaker 2: a little bit more about that, because the next step
Speaker 2: is be the change, right, But I don't know how
Speaker 2: you become the change. If you're a dragon three metal
Speaker 2: coffins wrapped and chained around you with you.
Speaker 1: Well, that's right. And you know, I wrote a book
Speaker 1: called Beyond Doubt. If you're living with doubt, okay, you're
Speaker 1: not going to be the change. You're not going to
Speaker 1: be the change if you're full of doubt, because being
Speaker 1: the change it involves making change right. And so risk
Speaker 1: analysis again, this is a tool I use with corporate
Speaker 1: clients all the time, is if we're going to make
Speaker 1: a change, when we're assessed the risk of making it,
Speaker 1: and we're going to accept analyze the risk of not
Speaker 1: making it, and guess what, more often than not, by
Speaker 1: far more often than not, the risk of staying the
Speaker 1: same is much greater than the risk of making the change.
Speaker 1: So what is the risk of saying in a lousy
Speaker 1: relationship versus making a change, Well, you might end up
Speaker 1: spending the rest of your life and doom and gloom
Speaker 1: and you know, and missing a much greater lifestyle. What
Speaker 1: is the risk of staying in the job that's just
Speaker 1: draining you in dead end? What is the risk of
Speaker 1: living where you live when it just you don't like it? Okay,
Speaker 1: anything weighing you down if you assess the risk of
Speaker 1: staying there is going to feed you with regret, It's
Speaker 1: gonna it's it quite possibly could make you ill and
Speaker 1: ultimately kill you. Or you say, you know what, I've
Speaker 1: evaluated the risk, and here are the things I need
Speaker 1: to be aware of. And then in enough maa failure
Speaker 1: mode effect analysis, we call them countermeasures. What are some
Speaker 1: things I can do along the way and right now
Speaker 1: to navigate through that risk, to mitigate that risk? What
Speaker 1: can I do? And maybe it's bake taking baby steps.
Speaker 1: You know I'm not going to lose forty pounds overnight,
Speaker 1: so okay again. You know, I've been through a number
Speaker 1: of relationships where the more I have ascended, so to speak,
Speaker 1: on the map of consciousness, the more aware I've become,
Speaker 1: the more empathetic and compassionate and loving and forgiving. I
Speaker 1: don't worryry about anything, Honestly, I simply don't. I've let
Speaker 1: go of the idea that I need to worry about anything,
Speaker 1: and so the only thing I can control is my
Speaker 1: own mind. And if I start worrying about something I
Speaker 1: can't control. I just I drop it, I delete it.
Speaker 1: So and when we do that, our immune system becomes stronger.
Speaker 1: You know, we're reducing the stress hormones, the cortisol, We're
Speaker 1: reducing the adrenaline and the hormones, the fight or flight
Speaker 1: type of hormones. And when we do that, the body
Speaker 1: becomes healthier. We just become more relaxed. We become more
Speaker 1: friendly and easy to get along with. But people who
Speaker 1: are negative don't like that, and so you start to
Speaker 1: realize a lot of people who you've been hanging out
Speaker 1: with and commiserating with about god knows what, the news,
Speaker 1: the economy, they don't like you anymore. So that's that's
Speaker 1: one risk you have to think about, is what do
Speaker 1: I What do I stay with that frequency energy or
Speaker 1: do I let it go and move on. I think
Speaker 1: risk analysis is key because we don't want to be foolish,
Speaker 1: and so to take the time to just evaluate that risk.
Speaker 1: And then the next step is, like you said, be
Speaker 1: the change the Nike thing, just do it. Just get started,
Speaker 1: all right? You know, you walk a thousand miles beginning
Speaker 1: with one step. It's an old you know, Zen teaching
Speaker 1: so take the step, you know, and I like to say,
Speaker 1: hit the delete button on certain things. It's a lot
Speaker 1: of times it's easier to let go of something then
Speaker 1: start something new. So you could go through, you know,
Speaker 1: your closet, so to speak, and just start to get
Speaker 1: rid of stuff. What am I holding on to this for?
Speaker 1: It's the same thing in the mind. I could go
Speaker 1: through wherever I live and just start deleting things. There's
Speaker 1: a tool I teach in business called the five S's
Speaker 1: actually five Japanese words that have been loosely translated into
Speaker 1: five English words. So the first one is sayiri and
Speaker 1: it means sort. So when we go into an office,
Speaker 1: you could do this in your laptop. You could do
Speaker 1: this in your closet or your refrigerator. You sort out
Speaker 1: what do you really need and what don't you need?
Speaker 1: And it's huge. A lot of times we're just carrying
Speaker 1: out of things we don't need. You could almost do
Speaker 1: the same thing in your mind, what do I really
Speaker 1: need to be thinking about? What is all the noise
Speaker 1: that I could get rid of. The second one say eitan.
Speaker 1: It means store okay or put it in its right place.
Speaker 1: So if you think about your kitchen, you sort out
Speaker 1: where you want your forks and your knives and your
Speaker 1: spoons and your pots and your pans and your dishes,
Speaker 1: and you store them in a place so you don't
Speaker 1: have to look for them all the time. You know
Speaker 1: right where they are. In business, that's it's part of
Speaker 1: work or place organization. And then there's another eton seitan siso,
Speaker 1: and siso is essentially shine or sweet, make it clean.
Speaker 1: So if I always think about like an operating room,
Speaker 1: if you know you're you're in the operating room and
Speaker 1: the surgeon's working on you. Okay, everything's right where it
Speaker 1: needs to be. Okay, you don't have a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of junk in there you don't need, and it's all
Speaker 1: clean and ready to be used. So it's precise, it's
Speaker 1: it's it's it's workplace organization. This is a great habit.
Speaker 1: By the way, if you're if your if your house
Speaker 1: is a mess, your car is a mess, your your
Speaker 1: office is a mess, it's you know, you might want
Speaker 1: to just start cleaning things up because if it's a mess,
Speaker 1: it's a reflection of you being a mess, all right,
Speaker 1: And it's okay if you if you if you're Okay.
Speaker 1: With that, fine, so you know, now we make sure
Speaker 1: everything's clean. The next s sikatsu is it means two uh, standardize, okay,
Speaker 1: to make sure everything is it's always in its its
Speaker 1: right place. And when you think about a fast food chain,
Speaker 1: a McDonald's or something like that, across the whole country,
Speaker 1: they're all the same. So it's easier to train people.
Speaker 1: I mean Southwest Airlines when herb color Hers started, the
Speaker 1: airline had one kind of airplane, seven thirty seven. It
Speaker 1: was so standardized and so simple. It was easier for
Speaker 1: in terms of spare parts, maintenance, training, everything, piloting. It's
Speaker 1: and it became wealthier than the top four airlines in
Speaker 1: the world believe it or not in market share through
Speaker 1: that focus and that simplicity. And then the last S
Speaker 1: essentially is sustained, okay, and so we have to make
Speaker 1: sure we sustain these changes. And that's actually the last
Speaker 1: S or that's the last of the ten steps, is
Speaker 1: sustaining it, maintaining and sustaining the gain and so kind
Speaker 1: of locking it in if you will. So I encourage
Speaker 1: people to think about one habit that they want to change,
Speaker 1: so you you identify it and you define it step one.
Speaker 1: You feel it, you don't resist it. It's almost like
Speaker 1: you have a conversation with it, like what what is
Speaker 1: this telling me? What kind of programming running on? It's subconscious,
Speaker 1: so it's not obvious. It's it's very deep in the mind.
Speaker 1: So okay, all right, now I'm feeling it, and I
Speaker 1: don't if I don't like the way it feels, and
Speaker 1: I think I believe I will like the way it feels,
Speaker 1: you know, if I change it. I got to tell you,
Speaker 1: doctor Pat. There are days I don't feel like going
Speaker 1: to the gym or I don't feel like working out,
Speaker 1: but I'll ask myself how would I feel after I do,
Speaker 1: and I'll feel pretty good. I feel proud of myself,
Speaker 1: I'll feel healthier. So you know that's part of the draw. Okay,
Speaker 1: I might not really feel like doing something right now,
Speaker 1: cleaning the house or or doing you know, paying my
Speaker 1: bills or whatever, but I will feel good when it's over.
Speaker 1: And so that's the power again, the power of the mind.
Speaker 2: You know, that's really critical, that part you just mentioned.
Speaker 2: I want to stay with it for one more minute,
Speaker 2: because right there is a game changer for a lot
Speaker 2: of people that can't sort of get the other things
Speaker 2: in line that feeling. Now, look, people hearing me talk
Speaker 2: about my excitement to go ball and playing a table tennis.
Speaker 2: But I gotta tell you John this, some days after
Speaker 2: working twelve hours so far today where I'm thinking, Oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, I gotta get my right clothes out, I
Speaker 2: gotta put on my sneakers, my bat. Did I clean
Speaker 2: my eye? I mean, that's that line. And then I
Speaker 2: hit the button that you just said. And my button
Speaker 2: is every time I go to play, everything about my
Speaker 2: demeanor changes. When I come back from playing. It may
Speaker 2: take me an hour to get there in traffic on
Speaker 2: route twenty two? Am I looking forward to?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: I turned on the radio at that point you just mentioned,
Speaker 2: imagine how you'll feel right I joined the gym. I
Speaker 2: haven't gone every day, but I have gone. But why
Speaker 2: haven't I gone? Because I forgot what you just told
Speaker 2: us here today I forgot how do I feel after it?
Speaker 1: And that leads to another important habit that you might
Speaker 1: people should consider is do I have a tendency to
Speaker 1: beat myself up? You know? So, okay, so I missed
Speaker 1: the day going to the gym. You know, how long
Speaker 1: am I going to carry that feeling with me. Let
Speaker 1: it go, you know what, So you don't so you
Speaker 1: didn't go except the fact that that's okay, all right,
Speaker 1: it didn't happen. So the more you think about it
Speaker 1: being wrong, it's just creating more conflict in your own minds.
Speaker 1: It's over. Let it go go tomorrow. I l yeah,
Speaker 1: just just lighting up. And uh so we want to
Speaker 1: you know, identify it. We want to feel it. And
Speaker 1: if we if we feel guilty about certain things, if
Speaker 1: we feel a shame, we feel stressed, Okay, then we
Speaker 1: want to we want to measure it. How often do
Speaker 1: we feel that way? Is it is it? Is it daily?
Speaker 1: Is it's hourly? Is it something that's really chronic? Okay,
Speaker 1: then that's pretty significant in terms of priorities. So all right,
Speaker 1: now let's let's let's analyze it. So step four is,
Speaker 1: you know, let's let's find out why you're behaving that
Speaker 1: way and what programming you're running on. Let's let's really
Speaker 1: drill down to the program that you might need to delete.
Speaker 1: You know, I've said this before on the show I
Speaker 1: grew up with a I'm not Worthy program, said it
Speaker 1: every week in church, I'm not worthy, I believe it
Speaker 1: or not. I was born on Friday the thirteenth and
Speaker 1: with a name like Murphy as in Murphy's Law. I
Speaker 1: thought all kinds of things were going to go wrong.
Speaker 1: And I was very accident prone as a kid. So
Speaker 1: I had this programming that I'm doomed, you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna keep hurting myself. I'm not worthy of success,
Speaker 1: I'm not worthy of of wealth and and and an
Speaker 1: ideal lifestyle. And until I uncovered that program and that
Speaker 1: the habits that were coming from that one single program
Speaker 1: and delete that program. Uh, who knows where I'd be today,
Speaker 1: if even alive. So that that's the power of the
Speaker 1: analysis and getting down to that, you know, that root cause.
Speaker 1: So we ask why. That's the step four and then
Speaker 1: step five. As we visualize the change, you know, we
Speaker 1: become what we dwell on, We become what we think
Speaker 1: ear Al Nightingale. So what is it? What am I
Speaker 1: aiming for? Okay? What am I aiming for? And we
Speaker 1: want to be real specific. Okay, if it's physical, it's
Speaker 1: an ideal, it's a target, weight, it's it's it's a
Speaker 1: it's a it's an energy, it's a look. Okay, it's
Speaker 1: body language. I'm light, I'm fright, but when I walk
Speaker 1: into the room, people are attracted to me because of
Speaker 1: my energy, not just the physical body. But there's just
Speaker 1: something there's there's an essence, a light, about, an aura
Speaker 1: if you will, about this person. I want that, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's my vision. And in terms of vision, I want
Speaker 1: I don't want to worry about my finances. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't. I want to be in loving, kind relationships.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be, you know, commiserating over all
Speaker 1: the things that are wrong in the world. So we
Speaker 1: want to be real clear on the vision. And I
Speaker 1: always suggest that people think about it in several ways. Physical, mental, emotional.
Speaker 1: I want to feel at ease and at peace, loving
Speaker 1: and kind and compassionate. I don't want to feel stressed. Okay,
Speaker 1: So emotional, financial, I want to be independent, financially independent,
Speaker 1: I don't want to worry about bills and pays and
Speaker 1: payments and you know things like that. That's that's all
Speaker 1: part of the vision. Professional. I want to I want
Speaker 1: to be in a job that I just love. I
Speaker 1: don't even want to think of it as work. I
Speaker 1: wanted to. I want to think of it as play.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to get to work to do my
Speaker 1: thing because it's purposeful and I'm meant to do it.
Speaker 1: I'm aligned with flow. I'm not trying to I'm not
Speaker 1: chasing a paycheck. The pay is chasing me, all right,
Speaker 1: because I'm really I'm living. I'm living with a purpose,
Speaker 1: and my purpose is to give away the gifts I've
Speaker 1: been given. So that's all part of this is what
Speaker 1: have I been given to give away? And when I
Speaker 1: be giving away is a good feeling and it's a
Speaker 1: great habit. Okay, giving versus getting is a great habit form.
Speaker 1: So things like and then social relationships and also spiritual
Speaker 1: what is your what do you seek spiritually in terms
Speaker 1: of inner peace and connection you know, the non physical
Speaker 1: if you will. So that's the visualization, and then we
Speaker 1: do our risk analysis, all right, So what are the
Speaker 1: risks of pursuing this vision? What might I stumble upon
Speaker 1: or you have to get over? The next step then
Speaker 1: is be the change, step up, take the risk, demonstrate it.
Speaker 1: You know, if you want peace in your life, demonstrate peace.
Speaker 1: Be peaceful. Don't wait for the rest of the world
Speaker 1: to be at peace for you to be at peace.
Speaker 1: It's not how it works because you're you're disempowering yourself
Speaker 1: by thinking that you know, I can't be at peace
Speaker 1: if the rest of the world isn't at peace. It's
Speaker 1: just the opposite. The world can't be at peace if
Speaker 1: you're not. And when you start to find your own
Speaker 1: inner peace by letting go of the distractions and all
Speaker 1: the false elf, if you will the ego attachments, and
Speaker 1: you just start waking up every day in bliss and
Speaker 1: pure piece, you bring more of that into your life.
Speaker 1: That's that's a law of attraction. Uh. So, Now, once
Speaker 1: we be the change the expert, it's eighth step is
Speaker 1: feel the change embedded in your heart. So you're programming
Speaker 1: your thinking and your beliefs, but you're thinking your beliefs
Speaker 1: influence your heart and that magnetic electromagnetic pull that we
Speaker 1: we we attract like energy too, So like energy attracts
Speaker 1: to like energy. Now our heart coherence is higher, and
Speaker 1: piece attracts peace, Joy attracts joy, Love attracts joy, love
Speaker 1: attracts love. Uh Meanwhile, misery loves company. So let's hit
Speaker 1: the delete button on the misery stuff and let's let's
Speaker 1: let's pull in exactly what it is we want, And
Speaker 1: then once we start to really feel what this is
Speaker 1: like beginning in our mind, and it's going to feel great.
Speaker 1: If I work out, it's going to feel great. If
Speaker 1: I stop doing something that's destructive, it's going to feel great.
Speaker 1: If I smile more and people are more friendly with me.
Speaker 1: And so the step nine then is to give appreciation.
Speaker 1: So appreciation and gratitude are two very high frequencies on
Speaker 1: the map of consciousness, very high. So when I wake
Speaker 1: up every day thankful for who I am and what
Speaker 1: I am, and the opportunities I have and the skills
Speaker 1: and the talents and the gifts I've been given, and
Speaker 1: I'm thankful even for the problems I have because there
Speaker 1: are opportunities for me to learn, to grow, to apply myself.
Speaker 1: What would we do if we didn't have any problems.
Speaker 1: Everybody's got problems, So you can even look at it negatively,
Speaker 1: I Oh I got another, Oh yeah, I got a
Speaker 1: or you could say this is interesting because there's always
Speaker 1: a solution to every problem. In fact, there's more than one,
Speaker 1: and there's no such thing as a problem that's negative.
Speaker 1: Every problem is an opportunity in disguise. So think about
Speaker 1: it that way. That's a shift in mindset. So now
Speaker 1: instead of resisting problems and locking the front door, I'm
Speaker 1: letting these problems come in, and I'm pulling people together
Speaker 1: to help me solve them, and I feel good when
Speaker 1: I'm past it. You know. That's I mean, that's what
Speaker 1: the business that I'm in, quite honestly is creative problem solving.
Speaker 1: So companies call me in they've got problems. I help
Speaker 1: them identify root cause and we solve them and everybody
Speaker 1: feels good about that. That's purposeful, all right. And then,
Speaker 1: of course the last step that that's a nine. The
Speaker 1: ninth step is to feel that gratitude and appreciation. Okay,
Speaker 1: like you, I'm sure, doctor Pat, you feel really grateful
Speaker 1: and appreciative that you've kicked certain habits and you're living
Speaker 1: a whole different lifestyle. So we want to embed the
Speaker 1: new habit with gratitude and appreciation and feeling good about
Speaker 1: ourselves and recognizing the power we have to actually make change. Okay,
Speaker 1: we are incredibly powerful beings if we take control of
Speaker 1: our minds rather than let our minds control us. We've
Speaker 1: certainly spent time on that. And then that last step
Speaker 1: is really just how am I going to sustain the gain.
Speaker 1: Maintain and sustain the gain. And we can do that
Speaker 1: in simple ways. In business, we do it with measurement, okay,
Speaker 1: and certain governance, if you will. So at an individual level,
Speaker 1: I'm going to set you know, I'm going to hit
Speaker 1: the gym three times a week. Now, There'll be some
Speaker 1: variation from time to time. I'm going to I'm going
Speaker 1: to follow through on my commitments, write them down. Okay.
Speaker 1: Some people even say I'm going to get a friend
Speaker 1: or a family member or a coach, somebody to keep
Speaker 1: me accountable, and you know, somebody to hold me accountable.
Speaker 1: And then I'm gonna I'm going to relish the improvements
Speaker 1: I'm making in my life. So, I mean, doctor pat,
Speaker 1: this is what I did thirty eight years ago when
Speaker 1: I started my practice, is I started to develop very
Speaker 1: good habits everything from reading and learning and attending conferences
Speaker 1: and listening to wise people, to taking risks to just
Speaker 1: doing it, to improvising and pivoting and adapting along the
Speaker 1: way to the point where every day I feel very
Speaker 1: grateful for what I'm doing and where I am, and
Speaker 1: even right here being with you on the Change Mastery Show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, John, thank you so much for today. For people listening,
Speaker 2: it is what you heard today is an action plan
Speaker 2: to turn your hope into the life you want. John,
Speaker 2: how do people find out more about you? Let's make
Speaker 2: sure we're giving people information.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I invite people to go to my brand
Speaker 1: new website just completely read. It's a Johnjmurphy dot org
Speaker 1: and then you can get a free download ebook on
Speaker 1: root Cause Analysis, which is invaluable to get down to
Speaker 1: the real root causes of the undesirable habits and things
Speaker 1: in your life. Get down to the root cause and
Speaker 1: that's where the action is, so you can go there.
Speaker 1: Certainly go to my John J. Murphy author YouTube channel
Speaker 1: and John J. Murphy author on Facebook and on LinkedIn.
Speaker 1: Definitely I hang out on LinkedIn a lot. Miss John J.
Speaker 1: Murphy Mystic on LinkedIn. Easy to reach my TechEd informations
Speaker 1: on my website, and definitely go to the YouTube channel
Speaker 1: because we've got over three I've got over three hundred
Speaker 1: videos recordings of this show on my channel. So if
Speaker 1: you if you like what you heard, share it, share
Speaker 1: it and take a look at some of the other
Speaker 1: shows that doctor Patt and I have done together.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and thank you for today. Because the ending of
Speaker 2: this show, I'm going to follow those steps. I've already
Speaker 2: identified three things right now that I know that I
Speaker 2: will do differently because I can control those things.
Speaker 1: Here's one more quick thing, Doctor Pat audience, a quick exercise.
Speaker 1: Just go ahead and fold your arms like you normally
Speaker 1: do right now, try doing it the other way. Look
Speaker 1: at what hand is on top. Yeah, and then you
Speaker 1: try doing it the.
Speaker 3: Other way, and a lot of people like you know,
Speaker 3: wait a minute, but it's an example of how habits
Speaker 3: can die hard, but you can do it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. I love it. I have to
Speaker 2: think about doing that, John, Thank you for that. Thank
Speaker 2: you all for tuning us in, turning us on. Thank
Speaker 2: you Emily. We'll see y'all next time.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to The Change Master Show with
Speaker 1: John J. Murphy. An opportunity to uncover, explore, and experience
Speaker 1: the path of transformation and illumination. Join Doctor Pat me
Speaker 1: on the second Wednesday of every month at eleven am
Speaker 1: Pacific on Transformation Talk Radio. Never miss an episode, Subscribe,
Speaker 1: like and share with your friends, connect with me on
Speaker 1: social media and for questions, comments, or to explore my
Speaker 1: books and services, visit Johnjmurphy dot org. Until next time,
Speaker 1: be the change you want to see in the world.
Speaker 1: The best stake to the beast, stake