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<v Speaker 1>Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, chapter fifty six. He lay

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<v Speaker 1>in prison very ill during the whole interval between his

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<v Speaker 1>committal for trial and the coming round of the sessions.

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<v Speaker 1>He had broken two ribs, they had wounded one of

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<v Speaker 1>his lungs, and he breathed with great pain and difficulty,

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<v Speaker 1>which increased daily. It was a consequence of his hurt

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<v Speaker 1>that he spoke so low as to be scarcely audible.

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<v Speaker 1>Therefore he spoke very little, but he was ever ready

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<v Speaker 1>to listen to me, and it became the first duty

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<v Speaker 1>of my life to say to him and read to

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<v Speaker 1>him what I knew he ought to hear. Being far

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<v Speaker 1>too ill to remain in the common prison, he was

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<v Speaker 1>removed after the first day or so into the infirmary.

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<v Speaker 1>This gave me opportunities of being with him that I

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<v Speaker 1>could not otherwise have had. And but for his illness,

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<v Speaker 1>he would have been put in irons, for he was

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<v Speaker 1>regarded as a determined prison break, and I knew not

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<v Speaker 1>what else. Although I saw him every day, it was

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<v Speaker 1>for only a short time. Hence the regularly recurring spaces

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<v Speaker 1>of our separation were long enough to record on his

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<v Speaker 1>face any slight changes that occurred in his physical state.

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<v Speaker 1>I do not recollect that I once saw any change

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<v Speaker 1>in it for the better. He wasted and became slowly

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<v Speaker 1>weaker and worse day by day, from the day when

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<v Speaker 1>the prison door closed upon him. The kind of submission

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<v Speaker 1>or resignation that he showed was that of a man

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<v Speaker 1>who was tired out. I sometimes derived an impression from

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<v Speaker 1>his manner, or from a whispered word or two which

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<v Speaker 1>escaped him, that he pondered over the question whether he

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<v Speaker 1>might have been a better man under better circumstances. But

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<v Speaker 1>he never justified himself by a hint tending that way,

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<v Speaker 1>or tried to bend the past out of its eternal shape.

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<v Speaker 1>It happened on two or three occasions in my presence

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<v Speaker 1>that his desper reputation was alluded to by one or

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<v Speaker 1>other of the people in attendance on him. A smile

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<v Speaker 1>crossed his face then, and he turned his eyes on

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<v Speaker 1>me with a trustful look, as if he were confident

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<v Speaker 1>that I had seen some small redeeming touch in him,

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<v Speaker 1>even so long ago as when I was a little child.

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<v Speaker 1>As to all the rest, he was humble in contrite,

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<v Speaker 1>and I never knew him complain when the sessions came round,

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<v Speaker 1>mister Jaggers caused an application to be made for the

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<v Speaker 1>postponement of his trial until the following sessions. It was

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<v Speaker 1>obviously made with the assurance that he could not live

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<v Speaker 1>so long, and was refused. The trial came on at once,

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<v Speaker 1>and when he was put to the bar, he was

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<v Speaker 1>seated in a chair. No objection was made to my

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<v Speaker 1>getting close to the dock, on the outside of it,

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<v Speaker 1>and holding the hand that he stretched forth to me.

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<v Speaker 1>The trial was very short and very clear. Such things

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<v Speaker 1>as could be said for him were said. We had

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<v Speaker 1>taken to industrious habits, and had thriven lawfully and reputably.

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<v Speaker 1>But nothing could unsay the fact that he had returned

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<v Speaker 1>and was there in the presence of the judge and jury.

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<v Speaker 1>It was impossible to try him for that and do

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<v Speaker 1>otherwise than find him guilty. At that time it was

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<v Speaker 1>the custom, as I learned from my terrible experience of

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<v Speaker 1>that sessions, to devote a concluding day to the passing

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<v Speaker 1>of sentences, and to make a finishing effect with the

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<v Speaker 1>sentence of death. But for the indelible picture that my

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<v Speaker 1>remembrance now holds before me, I could scarcely believe even

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<v Speaker 1>as I write these words, that I saw two and

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<v Speaker 1>thirty men and women put before the judge to receive

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<v Speaker 1>that sentence together. Foremost among the two and thirty was

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<v Speaker 1>he seated that he might get breath enough to keep

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<v Speaker 1>life in him. The whole scene starts out again in

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<v Speaker 1>the vivid colors of the moment, down to the tops

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<v Speaker 1>of april rain on the windows of the court, glittering

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<v Speaker 1>in the rays of april sun penned in the dock.

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<v Speaker 1>As I again stood outside it at the corner with

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<v Speaker 1>his hand in mine, were the two and thirty men

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<v Speaker 1>and women, some defiant, some stricken with terror, some sobbing

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<v Speaker 1>and weeping, some covering their faces, some staring gloomily about.

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<v Speaker 1>There had been shrieks from among the women convicts, but

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<v Speaker 1>they had been stilled, and a hush had succeeded. The

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<v Speaker 1>sheriffs with their great chains and nosegays, other civic googaws,

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<v Speaker 1>and monsters, criers, ushers, a great gallery full of people,

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<v Speaker 1>a large theatrical audience looked on as the two and

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<v Speaker 1>thirty and the judge were solemnly confronted. Then the judge

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<v Speaker 1>addressed them. Among the wretched creatures before him whom he

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<v Speaker 1>must single out for special address, was one who, almost

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<v Speaker 1>from his infancy, had been an offender against the laws,

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<v Speaker 1>who after repeated imprisonments and punishments, had been at length

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<v Speaker 1>sentenced to exile for a term of years, and who,

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<v Speaker 1>under circumstances of great violence and daring, had made his

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<v Speaker 1>escape and been re sentenced to exile for life. That

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<v Speaker 1>miserable man would seem for a time to have become

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<v Speaker 1>convinced of his errors when far removed from the scenes

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<v Speaker 1>of his old offenses, and to have lived a peaceable

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<v Speaker 1>and honest life, But in a fatal moment, yielding to

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<v Speaker 1>those propensities and passions, the indulgence of which had so

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<v Speaker 1>long rendered him a scourge to society, he had quitted

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<v Speaker 1>his haven of rest and repentance, and had come back

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<v Speaker 1>to the country where he was proscribed. Being here presently denounced,

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<v Speaker 1>he had for a time succeeded in evading the officers

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<v Speaker 1>of justice, but being at length seized, while in the

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<v Speaker 1>act of flight, he had resisted them, and had he

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<v Speaker 1>best knew, whether by expressed design or in the blindness

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<v Speaker 1>of his hearty deth hood, caused the death of his denouncer,

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<v Speaker 1>to whom his whole career was known. The appointed punishment

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<v Speaker 1>for his return to the land that had cast him

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<v Speaker 1>out being death, and his case being this aggravated case,

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<v Speaker 1>he must prepare himself to die. The sun was striking

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<v Speaker 1>in at the great windows of the court, through the

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<v Speaker 1>glittering drops of rain upon the glass, and it made

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<v Speaker 1>a broad shaft of light between the two and thirty

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<v Speaker 1>and the judge, linking both together and perhaps reminding some

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<v Speaker 1>among the audience how both were passing on with absolute

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<v Speaker 1>equality to the greater judgment that knoweth all things and

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<v Speaker 1>cannot err. Rising for a moment a distinct speck of

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<v Speaker 1>face in this way of light, the prisoner said, my Lord,

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<v Speaker 1>I have received my sentence of death from the Almighty,

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<v Speaker 1>But I bow to yours and sat down again. There

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<v Speaker 1>was some hushing, and the judge went on with what

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<v Speaker 1>he had to say to the rest. Then they were

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<v Speaker 1>all formally doomed, and some of them were supported out,

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<v Speaker 1>and some of them sauntered out with a haggard look

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<v Speaker 1>of bravery, and a few nodded to the gallery, and

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<v Speaker 1>two or three shook hands, and others went out, chewing

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<v Speaker 1>the fragments of herb they had taken from the sweet

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<v Speaker 1>herbs lying about. He went last of all, because of

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<v Speaker 1>having to be helped from his chair, and to go

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<v Speaker 1>very slowly, And he held my hand while all the

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<v Speaker 1>others were removed, and while the audience got up, putting

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<v Speaker 1>their dresses right as they might at church or elsewhere,

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<v Speaker 1>and pointed down at this criminal or at that, and

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<v Speaker 1>most of all at him and me. I earnestly hoped

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<v Speaker 1>and prayed that he might die before the recorder's report

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<v Speaker 1>was made. But in the dread of his lingering on,

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<v Speaker 1>I began that night to write out a petition to

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<v Speaker 1>the Home Secretary of State, setting forth my knowledge of him,

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<v Speaker 1>and how it was that he had come back for

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<v Speaker 1>my sake. I wrote it as fervently and pathetically as

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<v Speaker 1>I could, and when I had finished it and sent

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<v Speaker 1>it in, I wrote out other petitions to such men

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<v Speaker 1>in authority, as I hoped were the most merciful, and

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<v Speaker 1>drew up one to the Crown itself. For several days

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<v Speaker 1>and nights after he was sentenced, I took no rest

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<v Speaker 1>except when I fell asleep in my chair, and was

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<v Speaker 1>wholly absorbed in those appeals. And after I had sent

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<v Speaker 1>them in, I could not keep away from the places

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<v Speaker 1>where they were, but felt as if they were more

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<v Speaker 1>hopeful and less desperate when I was near them. In

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<v Speaker 1>this unreasonable restlessness and pain of mind, I would roam

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<v Speaker 1>the streets of an evening, wandering by those offices and

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<v Speaker 1>houses where I had left the petitions to the present hour.

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<v Speaker 1>The weary western streets of London on a cold, dusty

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<v Speaker 1>spring night, with their ranges of stern, shut up mansions

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<v Speaker 1>and their long rows of lamps, are melancholy to me.

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<v Speaker 1>From this association. The daily visits I could make him

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<v Speaker 1>were shortened now, and he was more strictly kept, seeing

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<v Speaker 1>or fancying that I was suspected of an intention of

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<v Speaker 1>carrying poison to him. I asked to be searched before

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<v Speaker 1>I sat down at his bedside, and told the officer

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<v Speaker 1>who was always there, that I was willing to do

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<v Speaker 1>anything that would assure him of the singleness of my designs.

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<v Speaker 1>Nobody was hard with him or with me. There was

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<v Speaker 1>duty to be done, and it was done, but not harshly.

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<v Speaker 1>The officer always gave me the assurance that he was worse,

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<v Speaker 1>and some other sick prisoners in the room, and some

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<v Speaker 1>other prisoners who attended on them as sick nurses, malefactors,

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<v Speaker 1>but not incapable of kindness. God be thanked, always joined

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<v Speaker 1>in the same report. As the days went on, I

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<v Speaker 1>noticed more and more that he would lie placidly, looking

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<v Speaker 1>at the white ceiling, with an absence of light in

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<v Speaker 1>his face, until some whe mine brightened it for an instant,

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<v Speaker 1>and then it would subside again. Sometimes he was almost

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<v Speaker 1>or quite unable to speak, and then he would answer

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<v Speaker 1>me with slight pressures on my hand, and I grew

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<v Speaker 1>to understand his meaning very well. The number of the

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<v Speaker 1>days had risen to ten when I saw a greater

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<v Speaker 1>change in him than I had seen yet. His eyes

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<v Speaker 1>were turned towards the door and lighted up as I entered.

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<v Speaker 1>Dear boy, he said, as I sat down by his bed,

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<v Speaker 1>I thought you was late, but I knowed you couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>be that. It is just the time, said I. I

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<v Speaker 1>waited for it at the gate. You always wait, said

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<v Speaker 1>the gate, don't you, dear boy. Yes, not to lose

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<v Speaker 1>a moment of the time. Thank ye, dear boy, Thankee,

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<v Speaker 1>God bless you. You have never deserted me. Dear boy.

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<v Speaker 1>I pressed his hand in silence, for I could not

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<v Speaker 1>forget that I had once meant to desert him. And

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<v Speaker 1>what's the best of all? He said, You've been more

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable alonger me since I was under a dark cloud

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<v Speaker 1>than when the sun shone. That's best of all. He

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<v Speaker 1>lay on his back, breathing with great difficulty, do what

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<v Speaker 1>he would and love me. Though he did, the light

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<v Speaker 1>left his face ever and again, and a film came

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<v Speaker 1>over the placid. Look at the white ceiling. Are you

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<v Speaker 1>in much pain to day? I don't complain of none,

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<v Speaker 1>dear boy, you never do complain. He had spoken his

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<v Speaker 1>last words. He smiled, and I understood his touch to

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<v Speaker 1>me that he wished to lift my hand and lay

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<v Speaker 1>it on his breast. I laid it there, and he

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<v Speaker 1>smiled again and put both his hands upon it. The

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<v Speaker 1>allotted time ran out while we were thus, but looking round,

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<v Speaker 1>I found the governor of the prison standing near me,

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<v Speaker 1>and he whispered, you needn't go yet. I thanked him gratefully,

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<v Speaker 1>and asked, might I speak to him if he could

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<v Speaker 1>hear me. The governor stepped aside and beckoned the officer away.

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<v Speaker 1>The change, though it was made without noise, drew back

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<v Speaker 1>the film from the placid, Look at the white ceiling,

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<v Speaker 1>and he looked most affectionately at me. Dear magwitch, I

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<v Speaker 1>must tell you now at last you understand what I say.

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<v Speaker 1>A gentle pressure on my hand. You had a child

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<v Speaker 1>once whom you loved and lost a stronger pressure on

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<v Speaker 1>my hand. She lived and found powerful friends. She is

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<v Speaker 1>living now. She is a lady and very beautiful, and

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<v Speaker 1>I love her with a last faint effort which would

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<v Speaker 1>have been powerless but for my yielding to it and

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<v Speaker 1>assisting it. He raised my hand to his lips. Then

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<v Speaker 1>he gently let it sink upon his breast, again, with

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<v Speaker 1>his own hands lying on it. The placid look at

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<v Speaker 1>the white ceiling, came back and passed away, and his

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<v Speaker 1>head dropped quietly on his breast. Mindful then of what

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<v Speaker 1>we had read together, I thought of the two men

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<v Speaker 1>who went up into the temple to pray, and I

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<v Speaker 1>knew there were no better words that I could say

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<v Speaker 1>beside his bed than O, Lord, be merciful to him

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<v Speaker 1>a sinner. End of chapter