Speaker 1: Nine News nuggets you need to know? How would you
Speaker 1: describe the nine news nuggets you need to know?
Speaker 2: I would describe them as you know, we eat the
Speaker 2: meat and potatoes that are things like Ukraine and the
Speaker 2: Pope vomiting, and then we get the sprinkles on the cupcake,
Speaker 2: and the nine News nuggets are the sprinkles and the
Speaker 2: frosting on the cupcake. It is the dessert of the week,
Speaker 2: and sometimes it comes in the shape of an inflatable doll.
Speaker 3: Here's your honorable mention, honorable mention, not suppose to mention,
Speaker 3: honor serving with you a great and honorable motive.
Speaker 1: So today we're holding auditions to become the newest member
Speaker 1: of honorable Mention.
Speaker 3: You got to try to hide the evidence in some way.
Speaker 1: I suppose a Chinese student at hey Fei University of
Speaker 1: Technology in Central China earlier this month sparked a fire
Speaker 1: in his dormitory. His roommate a right home unexpectedly, and
Speaker 1: I guess the guy forgot to put the sock on
Speaker 1: the door or whatever because he was with his inflatable
Speaker 1: girlfriend at the time.
Speaker 2: Do you have to put a sock on the door
Speaker 2: for the inflatable girlfriend? Usually isn't it just a save
Speaker 2: face of the half naked girl in your dorm room.
Speaker 2: If it's just a doll, no feelings are hurt. No
Speaker 2: trauma is caused by someone walking in and seeing your doll.
Speaker 1: Naked, right, I don't know. I don't know how the
Speaker 1: doll feels about being exposed like that.
Speaker 2: I don't think the doll has feelings. That's the whole purpose.
Speaker 2: Imagine a woman without feelings. How great would that be?
Speaker 3: Now you're talking about fairytale land in other news?
Speaker 2: How much money would we make if we solely went
Speaker 2: to technical colleges and sold blow up dolls, like in
Speaker 2: a surreptitious way, you know, like getting the way into
Speaker 2: the dorms kind of like just spread by word of mouth, like, hey,
Speaker 2: we've got some real cheap off the truck kind of
Speaker 2: blow up dolls.
Speaker 3: That sounds like mechanical tech schools. Don't you think we'd
Speaker 3: make some money?
Speaker 1: I see what you're saying, but I'm going to leave
Speaker 1: that up to you. Here's number nine, number nine.
Speaker 2: I did nine place if a CoP's dirty nine times
Speaker 2: out of tennis, partner's dirty.
Speaker 3: Two and I speak nine languages yea till nine. Basically
Speaker 3: everybody at table nine, I'd feel ready to go another
Speaker 3: nine and niner? Did I catch a niner in there
Speaker 3: where you're calling from Milwaukee talking? I love this thing
Speaker 3: soventy too.
Speaker 1: Haverville Road and Cambridgeshire village of Castle Camps, close to
Speaker 1: the Suffolk border. There's been a pothole in the ground
Speaker 1: for months and it says if there were oncoming vehicles,
Speaker 1: you either have to stop or you hit the pothole
Speaker 1: and it's not safe. So a carpenter said the pothole
Speaker 1: had been there for a long time, so his family
Speaker 1: decided to have a bit of fun with it. What
Speaker 1: they did was they faked upside down legs, so it
Speaker 1: looks like someone is doing a handstand inside the pothole
Speaker 1: and just the bottom half of their body is showing,
Speaker 1: so it just looks like legs sticking out of this water.
Speaker 2: It looks like Anti m Antim's house right with the
Speaker 2: Wicked Witch, with our feet sticking straight up.
Speaker 3: I think it's very clever.
Speaker 1: Yes, and they're going to prevent people from running into
Speaker 1: this thing, which could be dangerous.
Speaker 3: Here's number eight. O Clive is bold every eight second
Speaker 3: listening to eight different bosses drawn on about mission statements.
Speaker 2: I love Billy's Pirates matchup for a number of reasons,
Speaker 2: right sure. One of those is that when you would
Speaker 2: be able to check out the score on your TV
Speaker 2: screen with the team emblems and the beginning of the
Speaker 2: game always starting at zero zero, this would spell out
Speaker 2: poop right there in your top left hand corner of
Speaker 2: your television. It was fun, really for the whole family.
Speaker 1: Now they say that the new score bug that they're
Speaker 1: going to use for NBC Sports Philly will not have
Speaker 1: the Poop series. They're going to change the locations of
Speaker 1: the logos for the Phillies and the Pirates and so
Speaker 1: that it doesn't spell out the word poop.
Speaker 3: When you look at it. That's no fun. It is
Speaker 3: no fun. I don't like it.
Speaker 1: When listen, the bugs themselves have gotten to the point
Speaker 1: where they're unobtrusive. A few years ago they were super
Speaker 1: annoying and they got in the way. The one at
Speaker 1: Super Bowl was super annoying simply because it was different
Speaker 1: than what we had seen in the past. And now
Speaker 1: just just let it exist. It's okay if it says
Speaker 1: poop every once in a while.
Speaker 2: The more I think about that, that crawl there at
Speaker 2: Super Bowl.
Speaker 3: I mean, that was the most interesting thing about that game.
Speaker 3: It was the one that generated the most conversation. That's exactly.
Speaker 3: Here's number seven, the seventh son of the seventh son.
Speaker 3: We're on with seven day the government seven seven A
Speaker 3: seven years of college done to drain seven.
Speaker 2: This is like that old Seinfeld episode about the soup Nazi.
Speaker 2: We've got a Ramen Nazi. It seems like a Ramen
Speaker 2: soup place has put a bounty on the heads of
Speaker 2: two customers who left them.
Speaker 3: A bad review.
Speaker 2: Toyo Euro is a highly rated euro style Ramen restaurant
Speaker 2: in Kyoto, Japan, and they took to Instagram to declare
Speaker 2: war threatening the two guys who left this awful one
Speaker 2: star review. They're offering cash to people. I can identify
Speaker 2: these guys, by the way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he said, you should probably avoid eating out. Someday
Speaker 1: someone like you will get screwed. I don't care. Just
Speaker 1: come directly and I'll deal with you.
Speaker 2: This is what I do when people leave us reviews
Speaker 2: on Yelp. That's exactly how I respond.
Speaker 1: Who leaves reviews for people doing a radio show on yelp?
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, do it on Facebook like normal people? Right,
Speaker 3: that's not true. Here's number six. I got six, you
Speaker 3: got six six.
Speaker 1: There's six more weeks of later picture of me or
Speaker 1: rabbi and six drunk and longshomny.
Speaker 3: We just dig it into nursing home. Pleasure to ask.
Speaker 3: I don't have to take down drink another six pack.
Speaker 1: Perfect.
Speaker 3: This is the opportunity here for somebody who makes some money.
Speaker 1: Oh continue, Well, uh, there is a funeral home in
Speaker 1: the southwestern province of China that has been serving just
Speaker 1: the bomb noodles. Apparently word spread about the noodles, and
Speaker 1: a bunch of people have been lining up outside this
Speaker 1: funeral home specifically to go to the canteen, the cafeteria,
Speaker 1: because they said the food is that good.
Speaker 2: So what do you mean in terms of making money
Speaker 2: just opening it up for people that are not interested
Speaker 2: in funeral business.
Speaker 1: Hey, just make it sound like you're opening up another
Speaker 1: funeral home, but only make it the cafeteria. That way,
Speaker 1: you still get to brand it as a funeral home.
Speaker 1: It sort of takes on sort of that sort I
Speaker 1: don't know, pop culture sort of a just talk about
Speaker 1: think about the buzz of eating at a place called
Speaker 1: the funeral home.
Speaker 2: Well, this is exactly like the oddjextaposition of excellent food
Speaker 2: in the strip clubs. That's how we discovered Magic City.
Speaker 2: It was because of the wings, not the breasts. And
Speaker 2: now here we have excellent Chinese noodles at the funeral home.
Speaker 2: I mean, I love it when you're surprised by great
Speaker 2: food in an odd place.
Speaker 1: And would you pose as somebody mourning the loss of
Speaker 1: a loved one just to get those noodles?
Speaker 3: I've done far worse. Yes, Peers number five rules, we
Speaker 3: begin bombing in five minutes. Five little geese. This is
Speaker 3: the year five point five five. Give me a favorite.
Speaker 3: Loose five pounds immediately.
Speaker 1: Stephen Caspar is about to become a hero. This guy
Speaker 1: in Lenexa, Kansas has been feeding and training wild raccoons
Speaker 1: that wander into his property, and he said during a
Speaker 1: legislative hearing in Topeka, it is the highlight of my life.
Speaker 1: These are the things that you do when you become
Speaker 1: an empty nester. You start playing with raccoons in the backyard.
Speaker 1: And he wants to change Kansas law so that raccoons
Speaker 1: can be kept as pets.
Speaker 2: You're an empty nester, now, yes, have you started playing
Speaker 2: with the raccoons.
Speaker 3: In the yard.
Speaker 1: If I saw a raccoon in my yard, I would
Speaker 1: be terrified. That would be a sign of the Second Coming.
Speaker 3: Really, I see raccoons in my yard all the time. No,
Speaker 3: I don't get very many in mine. They like to
Speaker 3: play on the roof. They like to poop on the roof.
Speaker 1: How would a raccoon deal with snakes? I see more
Speaker 1: snakes in the yard than you thinkcoons.
Speaker 2: Raccoons are very angry. I don't know if they eat snakes,
Speaker 2: but they're very mean animals. I wouldn't be surprised he
Speaker 2: was able to make such good friends with them. Here's
Speaker 2: number four or minute.
Speaker 1: It's probably on his fourth tranquilizer by.
Speaker 3: Now comandment number four. This isn't the same world as
Speaker 3: you left four years ago. Oh my god, Jay, what
Speaker 3: is it? It's a baby whale.
Speaker 1: A Russian fisherman photographs sea monsters that he has accidentally
Speaker 1: grabbed while fishing. And they said that this latest post
Speaker 1: it looks like the head of an n alien.
Speaker 3: It's awful. It is the most awful thing I've ever
Speaker 3: looked at. He did.
Speaker 1: He identified the blob as a smooth lumpsucker. A series
Speaker 1: of marine ray finned fish that grows to over a
Speaker 1: foot long and resides in the bottoms of the oceans.
Speaker 2: How about some news we can use how to smuggle
Speaker 2: cocaine under a wig?
Speaker 3: Number three. Three shall be the number that count, and
Speaker 3: the number of the counting shall be three fighters dead
Speaker 3: within three hours. Three security clearance level three, all three
Speaker 3: of them three. I got all three of you guys,
Speaker 3: for the rest of your nas born live. After that
Speaker 3: three days, they both start to stink.
Speaker 2: Three.
Speaker 1: What are those little cheese cheeses that come in the
Speaker 1: plastic and you can rip it off and it's like
Speaker 1: a little snack sized cheese.
Speaker 3: Baby bells zoa baby bells. My mother loves those. I've
Speaker 3: had like nineteen this week.
Speaker 1: So picture uh, speaking of nineteen, picture nineteen baby bell
Speaker 1: packets under a wig but on top of your head.
Speaker 1: Guy from Columbia was discovered trying to board a plane
Speaker 1: to Amsterdam when he had this twenty or nineteen capsules
Speaker 1: of cocaine about the size of baby bell packs underneath
Speaker 1: his wig that they then cut off of his head.
Speaker 2: You know what may be telling It may be something
Speaker 2: that shows either maturity or age or both that I'd
Speaker 2: rather have the cheese than the cocaine.
Speaker 3: I remember, for your cardiac health, it's probably a better idea.
Speaker 3: I don't know about that. Number two, what's going on YouTube?
Speaker 3: Pick out two two.
Speaker 2: People. There's two sons and no women who ringing ginging?
Speaker 3: Do you ever.
Speaker 1: You ever used a gold toilet or gold plated toilet
Speaker 1: or gold colored toilet?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. I feel like i'd remember that,
Speaker 2: but I also don't think it would. It would be
Speaker 2: something that.
Speaker 3: I would remember. You's not really that much into toilets.
Speaker 3: You would remember that though. Get in and get out.
Speaker 1: There was an eighteen carrot gold fully functional toilet, part
Speaker 1: of an exhibition by an Italian artist, that was stolen
Speaker 1: from a home in Oxford Shure in the Great Britain
Speaker 1: in the early hours of September twenty nineteen, two days
Speaker 1: after it went on display. Was an art installation, but
Speaker 1: a fully functioning toilet. The artwork was named.
Speaker 3: America Golden Toilet, No America. Here's the number one, number one?
Speaker 1: Number one? Were number one?
Speaker 2: Ben?
Speaker 3: I decided to look out for number one?
Speaker 2: Are you the number one? Row?
Speaker 3: Number one? Number one?
Speaker 2: I don't like to end the week with a broken testicle,
Speaker 2: so I'll let you handle it.
Speaker 3: Thanks.
Speaker 1: The German soccer match had to be canceled just before
Speaker 1: kickoff when a referee suffered an unexpected injury. One of
Speaker 1: the players had a kid that was watching the game
Speaker 1: and they were doing ID checks on the players make
Speaker 1: sure everybody's on the right team. When a kid starts
Speaker 1: running around on the field, well, the referee in this case,
Speaker 1: a guy named Stefan Khller, went to go shuttle the
Speaker 1: kid off the pitch and the kid chomped down on
Speaker 1: his left test all