Speaker 1: What's up, everybody? Welcome to rose Pricks. It's the valley.
Speaker 1: What is this show going to be done?
Speaker 2: I mean, like, honestly, this is starting to feel like
Speaker 2: what was the thing ninety day?
Speaker 1: The other way or whatever? Paradise, well, that was.
Speaker 2: We handled Paradise pretty well, but it was the other way.
Speaker 2: That's when we met our friend Sarper, who we loved,
Speaker 2: so we became very very close to Starper.
Speaker 1: We're very tight. We loved Sarper. Both changed our minds
Speaker 1: on Sarper. But the other way was also Beautiful Brown Ice.
Speaker 2: Beautiful Brown. That was a different one though. That was
Speaker 2: that was Paradise. That was the one where the guy
Speaker 2: was like the sperm donor. That wasn't the same one.
Speaker 2: Paradise was super Sharper was no. That was I believe
Speaker 2: the other way because she was going to Turkey. It's
Speaker 2: a whole thing, I promise. And sadly I know this
Speaker 2: because there were like ninety five episodes of that one season,
Speaker 2: and we were like, we literally did that show for
Speaker 2: six months, and I'm not even joking. It was six
Speaker 2: months of our life doing a recap of a show
Speaker 2: that I don't think anybody was watching. Really They certainly
Speaker 2: weren't listening to our recaps.
Speaker 1: The thing is like, once you get into something, you're
Speaker 1: kind of you're trapped. That's they trap you in there.
Speaker 1: You don't have to be we don't. Here's the thing.
Speaker 2: We're going to finish out the valley because you know,
Speaker 2: we can't have that much longer to go. It's a
Speaker 2: couple more episodes. We're nearing an end here. There's there's
Speaker 2: we can't.
Speaker 1: We can't rehash.
Speaker 2: The producers can't keep rehashing the same fight about Jason's
Speaker 2: wedding ring and Jackson whatever.
Speaker 1: Like there's nothing more to say. They seem to be
Speaker 1: able to That's that seems to be their mo and
Speaker 1: it's nobody asked for this. I agree with you. Nobody
Speaker 1: asked for this, include Jasmine and Melissa. Nobody is asking
Speaker 1: for any of this. But they seem to think we
Speaker 1: have a job to do. Janet thinks she has a
Speaker 1: job to do. She thinks she's a lawyer along with
Speaker 1: her husband, and yet I guess like she's taken the
Speaker 1: case and she's gonna do the best she can for
Speaker 1: her client.
Speaker 2: That's exactly even though she knows the client's guilty, but
Speaker 2: she kind of just has to do what she has
Speaker 2: to do.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm the saying she thinks her client is Jasmine
Speaker 1: and Melissa, Oh, I see, yes, yes, and so she's
Speaker 1: working on behalf of her client, who her client who
Speaker 1: did not hire her to do anything.
Speaker 2: I'm not thrilled with her client either. I'm like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm not thrilled with anybody. And it's also I want
Speaker 2: to say, if you guys did not listen to our
Speaker 2: Bachelor in Paradise, which is back and it was long awaited. Yeah,
Speaker 2: there was some changes that we didn't love either, but
Speaker 2: we did a two part recap, so go back and
Speaker 2: listen it because I'm much more I'm especially compared to
Speaker 2: the Valley. I am on to be doing Bachelor of
Speaker 2: Paradise recaps like it's.
Speaker 1: Best show on television now right now, I mean reality
Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah, they do.
Speaker 2: You know what I just read It may have it
Speaker 2: may have been on Rose Pricks, and it may have
Speaker 2: been on Whispering, But somebody said that the new showrunner
Speaker 2: that we are now seeing the likes of for Bachelor
Speaker 2: and Paradise came from Summer House. And that makes so
Speaker 2: much sense, does it?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: And that's not necessarily good because you know, hey, as
Speaker 2: we said on our recap, they branded it like they
Speaker 2: branded it for decades with The Bachelor, and now they
Speaker 2: just were like, let's make it the other thing. And
Speaker 2: there are things I didn't hate, but things I you know,
Speaker 2: they should have left alone.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of the feedback, you know, and
Speaker 1: we did this, We did our episode with no feedback.
Speaker 1: We just right, we trusted ourselves. Oh I like doing that.
Speaker 1: I do that, which show this too? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: for sure. But one thing that you know, we felt
Speaker 1: was that it was a little bit slick.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and it was they missed a whole like
Speaker 2: just the self awareness of walking down and like being
Speaker 2: embarrassed to walk down those steps and being nervous.
Speaker 1: All that's gone. We felt. We felt that it was
Speaker 1: too much trying to mimic one of these fires yeah
Speaker 1: Netflix shows, yeah, or Love Island. It's just there's too
Speaker 1: much sameness. The only thing that made it different was
Speaker 1: that it has old Bachelor eye recycles, which yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: and there's date cards.
Speaker 2: They kept the date cards and they kept the rose ceremonies,
Speaker 2: so they didn't you know, they obviously they some of
Speaker 2: it's there it's it's just there's just you know what
Speaker 2: it is. They're too cocky, the people on the show now,
Speaker 2: except for Hakeem bless his little eyes, yes, his big eyes.
Speaker 1: They were just too cocky.
Speaker 2: And that's they're too It's too like Love Island, Like
Speaker 2: didn't they spoof it on SNL Love Island once? And
Speaker 2: they're like, I just want to Mike, I just want
Speaker 2: may it fit? Got Love Island UK? Just let me
Speaker 2: And that's just the hottest woman you've ever seen, but
Speaker 2: just kind of tacky. They just let me make somebody fit.
Speaker 2: It's just a lot of that and you're like, what
Speaker 2: what happened here?
Speaker 1: Right? Right? But I still love it so much more
Speaker 1: than the Valley. But what we used to like about
Speaker 1: Bachelor in Paradise was that it was kind of some
Speaker 1: of the rejects, you know, people that didn't find love
Speaker 1: that the hot came and yes, that ended up having
Speaker 1: a little redemption. Not that they needed to be redeepd,
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, they ended up like, Okay,
Speaker 1: you weren't the Bachelor, but look you also did her
Speaker 1: of love and somebody Yes, exactly exactly like Evan, even
Speaker 1: though you turned out to be a douche, but because
Speaker 1: they always do yes. But like that's the kind of
Speaker 1: I think that's the thing that we watch it for. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we're not going to get that here, because it was
Speaker 1: like they just went for all the hottest people, like the.
Speaker 2: Zone they're not even that hot, and Dale who they're
Speaker 2: just trying to make happen like twenty thousand years later,
Speaker 2: and you're like, okay, I mean he's a good looking guy,
Speaker 2: but like everybody needs to cal mm down, like it's
Speaker 2: not all that right. And then also samm, I mean,
Speaker 2: yeah there was mistakes. Like you said, they were trying
Speaker 2: to make a villain happen, but it didn't.
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Speaker 2: vay yah. Okay, let's get into this episode into their nineen.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, is it really thirteen? Like that's too many?
Speaker 2: That's already too many months and months? How many episodes
Speaker 2: do you think there will be?
Speaker 1: Total?
Speaker 2: Think I looked it up last time, and I think
Speaker 2: there's like fifteen plus a reunion.
Speaker 1: I don't know if they'll do a reunion. My god,
Speaker 1: so you ever get like, oh, yes, they did a reunion,
Speaker 1: they've already held it. You know how wrestlers get calliflower ear.
Speaker 1: I think we can get headphone podcast ear. I'm starting
Speaker 1: to get pogged, like my ear is deformed now from
Speaker 1: oh wearing headphones.
Speaker 2: Maybe they're too tight. I think I'm gonna take this
Speaker 2: one off. That doesn't make a difference, right to have
Speaker 2: one on one off like a DJ hmm, No, it
Speaker 2: doesn't make a difference. Okay, good.
Speaker 1: So what did you have? I mean, I know we
Speaker 1: kind of talked macro, but you know, just of the
Speaker 1: episode itself, how did you feel? You didn't you didn't
Speaker 1: love this episode? Right? Stole my piece? I don't.
Speaker 2: I cannot tell you how many times they said that, like,
Speaker 2: don't let them steal your piece?
Speaker 1: Did they steal your piece? Did anyone steal your piece?
Speaker 2: That's the new like, that's their new buzzword, don't let them?
Speaker 1: So it did steal my piece.
Speaker 2: So the ironic part of them saying that over and
Speaker 2: over again is like, oh, yeah, my piece was stolen
Speaker 2: from you guys. Yeah, I did not like it. I
Speaker 2: thought it was just the same conversation. But there are
Speaker 2: a couple new things. There are a couple new things.
Speaker 2: Did you have a macro?
Speaker 1: You know I didn't. I just I find and I
Speaker 1: know that we disagreed about this off air, so we
Speaker 1: owe we owe America are on air opinions about this.
Speaker 1: But I really felt so enraged by Janet that I
Speaker 1: sometimes can't think about anything else. And you don't. You
Speaker 1: said that you don't have any real feelings towards her
Speaker 1: at all.
Speaker 2: I don't like Janet at all, but she doesn't enrage me.
Speaker 2: I just think she's just like a fly at a picnic.
Speaker 2: She's annoying. She's like not somebody i'd want to hang with,
Speaker 2: you know, like I wouldn't choose her at all. I
Speaker 2: definitely don't like her. She's awful, but there's just other
Speaker 2: people that bug me more. And I don't know why,
Speaker 2: can't really, I don't know who knows. We'd have to
Speaker 2: like dig into our childhoods to like figure out like why,
Speaker 2: because I do think it's Janet for most people, and
Speaker 2: I know it is for you, but she just me,
Speaker 2: She's just like whatever, whatever likes.
Speaker 1: The most gigantic Karen, and I was so offended on
Speaker 1: behalf of actual women of color. Even though and I'm
Speaker 1: going to say this, which I'm speaking on something that
Speaker 1: I know nothing about, but I read on Reddit that
Speaker 1: Jasmine was on the after show saying, well, she's not wrong,
Speaker 1: Janet's not wrong. This is stuff that happens later and
Speaker 1: we will all bring this back up. But she was
Speaker 1: saying she's not wrong, but like, I wish she wasn't
Speaker 1: speaking for me, because it's kind of up to me
Speaker 1: if I want to talk about it. It's up to me,
Speaker 1: and obviously Melissa. So even though even though Jasmine is
Speaker 1: not saying like what happened to her, what happened to
Speaker 1: them wasn't sexual assault, she is basically like, shut the
Speaker 1: fuck up, yes, which I just think that that the
Speaker 1: way that Janet inserts herself into everything is just so gross.
Speaker 2: Oh she's the world. I mean, she is definitely terrible.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't like the woman, but she's just
Speaker 2: like who gives me We're going to get to it
Speaker 2: very soon.
Speaker 1: But the one that just.
Speaker 2: Drives me crazy, and she's probably the nicest person on
Speaker 2: the show, drives me the craziest so where that comes from,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: And that's why, Like what makes you crazy about her?
Speaker 1: Just her person. She's very like I don't cat and
Speaker 1: is what.
Speaker 2: She sounds like to me. And I know that's nonsense
Speaker 2: words and that's what I hear when she's talking. Like
Speaker 2: she said, she's very Stepford wi Stepford wives. She's not
Speaker 2: the one I would hang with, you know, And she
Speaker 2: acts one way like Nanny and then she's like.
Speaker 1: Stop it, stop you stop it. Like I think I'm
Speaker 1: triggered by the alan on of it all, Like she's
Speaker 1: very controlling of I mean, look, I get it, I've
Speaker 1: been where she is, but I just it just bugs me.
Speaker 2: It triggers me. She bugs me, She bugs me. She's
Speaker 2: just like a she's like a robot lady.
Speaker 1: Interesting. I don't like it.
Speaker 2: I don't like either of them. I wouldn't choose either
Speaker 2: of them in conversation. But I feel like Janet or Nia,
Speaker 2: but like, let's say I had to go.
Speaker 1: Let's say Nia. Let's say Janet was.
Speaker 2: In a good mood and she was like having Margarita
Speaker 2: and not mad at you. So she's just talking about
Speaker 2: someone else you also don't like, Uh huh. I would
Speaker 2: prefer that Margarita with Janet than I would with Nia.
Speaker 2: If you're just talking shit that one day about that
Speaker 2: one person.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. I know what you're saying,
Speaker 1: and I hate Yeah, like I totally. I guess I disagree.
Speaker 1: Not that we have to choose. We don't have to choose.
Speaker 1: They would I don't do so. Oh you choose your piece,
Speaker 1: and I understand. I get that.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be I wouldn't choose either. Janet's awful. She
Speaker 2: is totally a Karen. But Nia is like a different
Speaker 2: word for Karen. It's like a different name, Like I
Speaker 2: don't know what it is, but it's just like.
Speaker 1: Anything you just don't find. You find her disingenuous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just kind of not so bright, just not
Speaker 2: so bright and that. But I think that bugs me
Speaker 2: more than anything. Well, she's a pageant girl, yes.
Speaker 1: And maybe maybe there's a little you know, being from
Speaker 1: the South, maybe.
Speaker 2: There's a trigger there somewhere, there's something where I'm just
Speaker 2: like I can't. I'm usually and I'm not saying this jokingly.
Speaker 2: You know, people say, like this person doesn't suffer fools.
Speaker 2: You know, I do suffer fools.
Speaker 1: I do. I like fools. I always have.
Speaker 2: I don't have an issue, and I try not to
Speaker 2: be judgmental, but she is a fool that I just
Speaker 2: can't suffer.
Speaker 1: Okay, fair enough, fair enough, that's just how you feel.
Speaker 1: We have a right to our feelings. Yeah, she might
Speaker 1: be great, she might be great. I don't know. So
Speaker 1: we we episode thirteen, we open, We get this fierce
Speaker 1: like coming up in this episode, which a lot of
Speaker 1: these shows have been doing. I'm not sure if it
Speaker 1: works or not, because it's like they're not even doing it,
Speaker 1: like they're trying to be stylized about it, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like they have like, yes, they
Speaker 1: do it out of time, Yes, disan bodied heads floating
Speaker 1: around saying things, And it was like, is that a genie?
Speaker 1: What is thought? But it's just Janet's head over an
Speaker 1: ocean going kind of.
Speaker 2: Like the US salt. You're like, I thought it was
Speaker 2: kind of funny. Actually like that. I like that kind
Speaker 2: of weird editing. I want more of that. I think
Speaker 2: can make the whole show that and I would prefer it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we're like, and you know what, where was
Speaker 1: that energy on Paradise? We need the kind of did.
Speaker 2: They did it a little bit, they just weren't like,
Speaker 2: they just weren't consistent. They did it occasionally. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: in fact someone just posted on our Rose Pricks wall.
Speaker 2: But they didn't like that. They were like didn't like
Speaker 2: the dream sequences and stuff like when they were on
Speaker 2: the boat and then you know, like cats losing her
Speaker 2: like she's in some weird fantasy about Dale. I kind
Speaker 2: of thought it was funny. But yeah, they have to pick.
Speaker 2: They have to pick one way and go with it,
Speaker 2: that's what you're saying. But yeah, it's twenty and then
Speaker 2: twenty one we see all this screaming fighting. Twenty one
Speaker 2: hours earlier is our chiron, right, and we're at the
Speaker 2: engagement party. Still, we're still at this dumb engagement party
Speaker 2: were there's only like six people there because it's just
Speaker 2: the cast, right, it's just so unless it's so fake
Speaker 2: and like not lively, nobody wants to be there, especially
Speaker 2: not Kristen right or Benji. I'm gonna say right now,
Speaker 2: Benji does not want to be part of this.
Speaker 1: But then downstairs. So but here's the thing that I
Speaker 1: think is worth noting. The only part that Janet and
Speaker 1: Jason weren't invited to was this little staged hotel room
Speaker 1: engagement party to go like surprise, you know the rest
Speaker 1: of it, which I have a feeling they were only
Speaker 1: in the hotel room for an hour filming yah, right,
Speaker 1: and then they were going to move everybody downstairs because
Speaker 1: they had a whole party setup. So I really don't
Speaker 1: think and I know I'm taking this way too seriously,
Speaker 1: I really don't think that all like the cold cuts
Speaker 1: and cheese, was just going to be sitting out there
Speaker 1: for three hours. That made me hungry though. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: my point is that all of Janet's like, my god,
Speaker 1: we weren't invited. Uh, it seems really forced because you
Speaker 1: were invited because Zach said, hey, yeah, just it might
Speaker 1: be weird if you're just in the hotel room when
Speaker 1: they first come in wearing a T shirt, that might
Speaker 1: come off as a bit aggressive. But when you're totally
Speaker 1: invited to but then we're having a stand up dinner,
Speaker 1: you're totally invited. So Janet makes this makes a whole
Speaker 1: storyline about how she wasn't invited, Oh my god, and
Speaker 1: it becomes a victim the whole rest of the episode,
Speaker 1: which girl, you were invited? We all heard it.
Speaker 2: It was increasing the same thing that she victimizes herself
Speaker 2: makes it about her. And I also want to say,
Speaker 2: we've sometimes been tough on Zach, but like he we
Speaker 2: need a Zach in our life because that's like one
Speaker 2: hundred common sense, Like, hey, you guys don't even get along.
Speaker 2: This is like the biggest day of her life so far,
Speaker 2: so maybe you probably shouldn't be at the first thing
Speaker 2: she sees and Janna, Zach, I'm.
Speaker 1: Loving him too, so be coming. Yes, he's a drunk,
Speaker 1: Yes I get it. Yes he gets crazy, can be
Speaker 1: really mean, but like he's.
Speaker 2: Yes, and he's really and it makes sense and it
Speaker 2: actually gives me like the belief that this is kind
Speaker 2: of real. You know how it's so hard to suspend
Speaker 2: your disbelief on this, on this because it seems so
Speaker 2: produced and they all just want to be stars. But
Speaker 2: in this case, Zach seems like he's running around really
Speaker 2: trying to make like a nice thing for his friend Kristen,
Speaker 2: who ps neither of them were invited to Janet's fucking
Speaker 2: baby moon party, which is brought up in a second.
Speaker 2: Fuck you Jane, Okay, now I'm trying. Now, I would
Speaker 2: choose Na for lunch. I really wouldn't want to be
Speaker 2: with you. I would just choose that death, I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But also it's interesting that Janet has honed in
Speaker 1: on Danny's drinking when there are other people that everybody
Speaker 1: constantly calls out as they're drinking. Is problematic. First of all,
Speaker 1: Britney has drunk a lot. Oh yeah, a lot. Obviously,
Speaker 1: Jax is like the worst person ever on reality TV.
Speaker 1: He's an abusive, physically abusive narcissist. But Janna, by the way,
Speaker 1: is friends with him, where almost everybody else is not
Speaker 1: friends with him anymore. That's on this cast. Janet is
Speaker 1: still his friend still.
Speaker 2: Beware Kristin is still friends with Jesse, because Kristin makes
Speaker 2: really bad choices too, and she's also like a Jack's apologist.
Speaker 1: Agree, totally agree with you. You know, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: gray area on this show. But I think it's interesting
Speaker 1: that Janet is not wildly after Zach still right, they
Speaker 1: talked it out. She talked out her thing with Zach,
Speaker 1: even though she accused him of wanting her to not
Speaker 1: carry her baby to full term. They've talked and talked
Speaker 1: and talked, But yet everybody says that Zach gets black
Speaker 1: out drunk and gets really mean, but she's decided that
Speaker 1: Danny is the worst over something that didn't happen to
Speaker 1: her even, right, So yeah, kind of it's just like
Speaker 1: I every time I watch her, I'm just like, uh no,
Speaker 1: she is the worst. She is the worst. I know
Speaker 1: a Janet. I know a Janet very well.
Speaker 2: We've talked about this in real life, and she bugs
Speaker 2: the fuck out of me and it's constant and whatever.
Speaker 2: But I just I guess I've just learned to ignore her. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So that's just how I feel about Janet. And this
Speaker 2: is the moment also where I think it's Jasmine. Somebody's like, so,
Speaker 2: somebody brings up Danny and Nia and they're like, hmmmm,
Speaker 2: is he taking a nap quote unquote, oh yeah. Again,
Speaker 2: the storyline, well this is.
Speaker 1: This is when they go outside, but Zach makes this
Speaker 1: a little announcement and he's like, yeah, a couple of
Speaker 1: people are missing. Uh, And then they show that two
Speaker 1: hours earlier. We get the flashback of Zach saying like,
Speaker 1: I don't want you to think that I'm discluding you,
Speaker 1: which is not a word, but it's okay, you're cute.
Speaker 1: He's yeah, I don't want to think I'm discluding you.
Speaker 1: So they just that's like noted, noted that he's saying,
Speaker 1: you're totally fine to come to the thing. But then
Speaker 1: Michelle goes, yeah, it's a little mean that she's in
Speaker 1: Hawaii and she's not invited. Come on, Michelle, don't make
Speaker 1: me hate you too. This is what might see.
Speaker 2: This is yeah, see, sometimes things are just complicated because
Speaker 2: I don't love Michelle.
Speaker 1: For many roles. I really don't like any of these people.
Speaker 1: Is the problem.
Speaker 2: This is what we're finding out. There are no rules.
Speaker 2: We like Melissa. She just minds her p's and q's,
Speaker 2: she minds her business. We do, we do seem to
Speaker 2: like her. He hasn't said one word. She has literally
Speaker 2: had two, not even lines, two words all season. Not
Speaker 2: even really totally sure why they're trying to keep that going.
Speaker 1: But okay, although we love Benji too. You know why
Speaker 1: we love Benji because, as we talked about in a
Speaker 1: different episode, Benji is the only one that's like, you
Speaker 1: could mic me up if you want. If you don't
Speaker 1: want to mike me up, it's fine. I don't have
Speaker 1: to talk. I don't have to speak.
Speaker 2: Not want to be there, I don't. I guess he
Speaker 2: gets paid. You get paid, right if you're on camera,
Speaker 2: So he gets something, and they're like, let's get everybody paid.
Speaker 1: He's never wearing one of those black necklace microphones though,
Speaker 1: and I feel like that's him saying like, it's fine,
Speaker 1: don't even worry about it. I feel like you guys
Speaker 1: are out of mics. I'm fine. I'll just like, I'll
Speaker 1: stand really close to Zach and like he can speak
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 2: I feel for him. That's not gonna last. I'm just
Speaker 2: telling you right now. So then, yeah, the net taking naps.
Speaker 2: Let's and Danny, by the way, is not even when
Speaker 2: he shows up PS. Spoiler, he's not really drunk. He
Speaker 2: might be a little drunk because it's Danny, but he's
Speaker 2: not like wasted, right.
Speaker 1: And other people weren't there yet either, And also I'm
Speaker 1: Danny and Nia I'm like, bitch, I'm on vacation. There
Speaker 1: was there that I have to be down here at
Speaker 1: a specific time. I mean, Kristen and Luke weren't down
Speaker 1: there yet. So Jasmine for no reason just decides to
Speaker 1: have a freak out. Oh, I guess we can't talk
Speaker 1: about the fact that Danny's sleeping and Michelle, and then
Speaker 1: Michelle goes, oh, she's showering, and Jazzmin's like, oh, how
Speaker 1: long does it take to shower? Ten minutes? Oh so
Speaker 1: now you're the shower police. Yeah, that's so gross. And meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Jasmine's drunk and Brittany is so drunk that she's so
Speaker 1: slurring her words. She's like, I'm hurt, cable, aren't gonna
Speaker 1: be hell accountable. I'm gonna leave, And Jasmine goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel that, Like what did you feel? What? So
Speaker 1: Britney's gonna leave if people aren't held accountable for taking
Speaker 1: too long a shower for her taste, which Brittany is
Speaker 1: always late.
Speaker 2: By the way, I've noticed that she always has a
Speaker 2: walk in like fifteen minutes after the fact.
Speaker 1: Oh I heard she missed her flight to go to
Speaker 1: Hawaii in the first place. This bitch has no place
Speaker 1: to talk.
Speaker 2: Also, I just think it's funny that she's like, I'm
Speaker 2: just I just read it's not about you, Brittany. She's like,
Speaker 2: I just would have liked to know it's my best friend.
Speaker 2: Since when is that your best friend? It's not your
Speaker 2: best friend, You're not a very good best friend. Then no,
Speaker 2: she's a.
Speaker 1: Terrible friend, and we're gonna find out what a horrible
Speaker 1: friend she is. This this episode made me really dislike Brittany.
Speaker 1: She's just an idiot. I'm sorry, but yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 1: Zach is again the voice of reason. He's like, you, guys,
Speaker 1: you are literally crazy, stop this right now. So then
Speaker 1: Brittany goes over to talk to Zach, and Zach again
Speaker 1: is just like God, who cares about Danny and Nia
Speaker 1: right now? Like, stop with this, Let's just have fun,
Speaker 1: right And then Luke and Kristen come down.
Speaker 2: And Kristen's feeling major social anxiety, which I don't remember
Speaker 2: her having. She's been on a validy show for a
Speaker 2: very long time, so it's a little weird. I know
Speaker 2: she has I do now it's coming to me. She
Speaker 2: has always taken a lot of benzos, even first, I believe,
Speaker 2: even for a season of vander Pump that was kind
Speaker 2: of like part of her storyline. They weren't like making
Speaker 2: her out to be like an addict or anything, but
Speaker 2: she had an issue. So maybe now I am remembering that.
Speaker 2: I think she just but it's like, maybe you shouldn't
Speaker 2: be on a reality show, ben Maybe that's not like
Speaker 2: your calling.
Speaker 1: I agree, And she's been on, like you said, for
Speaker 1: years and years and years, so it's weird because she's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just don't like attention on me.
Speaker 2: Girl, Yes you do, and she's all anxious. Okay, So
Speaker 2: then is this when Nia and Danny arrive.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're completely sober. Yes, cute, they're looking cute
Speaker 1: holding hands. I'll give me this.
Speaker 2: She is stunning. She's absolutely gorgeous in a very natural,
Speaker 2: beautiful way. I'm trying to be very positive here. I
Speaker 2: know she's a nice person. I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: Please somebody, if you know what it is, let me know,
Speaker 2: because maybe I'm wrong. I feel bad about my take
Speaker 2: about her, but she comes in and I like.
Speaker 1: Her just fine. I feel like she's just she's you know,
Speaker 1: people are way more mean against her. What has she
Speaker 1: done to anybody? That's true? No picking well from her?
Speaker 1: What has she done?
Speaker 2: She hasn't done anything that they should come for her.
Speaker 2: But she is annoying, and they're two different things, so
Speaker 2: they shouldn't come for her anyway.
Speaker 1: But everybody on this show is annoying. Who's tell me
Speaker 1: one person on this show.
Speaker 2: That's Melissa, okay, but I'm Benji, which they should get
Speaker 2: together now. That would be a fun twist if they
Speaker 2: are just like, you know what, fuck this.
Speaker 1: And they just not together and get married.
Speaker 2: I would I would enjoy that if Benji and Melissa
Speaker 2: just somehow they're like, I don't care, let's just do this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just putting it out there into the universe.
Speaker 1: I understand. I just think that you're not for Jasmine
Speaker 1: is She's so like, she's like, ah, the stars of
Speaker 1: the show have arrived. This to me, This to me
Speaker 1: reads you're jealous of Danny and Nea because they're not
Speaker 1: doing anything wrong. But she's like, well, not my engagement.
Speaker 1: But I am a little annoyed, right, Well, what are
Speaker 1: you annoyed about? I understand. Listen, here's the thing. If
Speaker 1: you if she really feels like I was assaulted by them,
Speaker 1: and I hate it when Danny's drunk, not get it.
Speaker 1: I understand that. But that doesn't seem to be the
Speaker 1: thing because Danny and Nea are not drunk, and the
Speaker 1: thing that happened was like almost two months before, right,
Speaker 1: and and other people have done he pinched, not her,
Speaker 1: but either he only said get daddy a drink he
Speaker 1: pinched her girlfriends. But so I understand that that was
Speaker 1: really annoying. But you've also talked it to death already
Speaker 1: and you've said we'd like to move forward, right, But
Speaker 1: now you're being so passive aggressive and going, oh, they're
Speaker 1: the stars of the show. What I don't they're not
Speaker 1: showing what they're doing wrong.
Speaker 2: Right, Okay, So then I want to just say, I
Speaker 2: just want to make this point. We don't have to
Speaker 2: go into it. But Aaron and Luke, at some point
Speaker 2: I was just like, they look to me exactly the same.
Speaker 2: I know that they don't because Luke is red or
Speaker 2: he has redder cheeks and like redder hair, but sometimes
Speaker 2: I just can't tell them apart.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, but and I don't care,
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, there's just so many like basic white men.
Speaker 2: Yes, with beerd with like very close shaved seventies beards, yes,
Speaker 2: as we've talked about on other shows, Like enough with
Speaker 2: that also, And then didn't you think it was weird
Speaker 2: that Jesse and Michelle and Aaron were just hanging out
Speaker 2: Like I kind of liked it for them, but I
Speaker 2: was also like, is this all just totally fake? And
Speaker 2: they're cool because they were just sitting around having a conversation.
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, Michelle wouldn't say what she said now,
Speaker 2: she wouldn't be able to get away with it.
Speaker 1: Also, I don't like Luke. He's so goofy. It's this
Speaker 1: and this is like sort of your your take on
Speaker 1: I think nia is my take on Luke. It's like
Speaker 1: he's not doing anything wrong, but he's like, oh, now
Speaker 1: that I've proposed, I fill one thousand pounds lighter. I mean,
Speaker 1: although if she said no, I would have jumped off
Speaker 1: the boat like, hello Jaws, Hello Jaws. Yeah. Yes, he
Speaker 1: did not say hello. He did. My god, why are
Speaker 1: we watching this? This is what I'm saying. It's like,
Speaker 1: that's the best you guys could find. Man, that's the
Speaker 1: best Christen today mine? Yeah, which okay, then Kristen, so
Speaker 1: this is a big setup. Kristen tells Melissa. She's like
Speaker 1: and other people, She's like, please, you guys, please keep
Speaker 1: this under wrap because our family is six hours ahead
Speaker 1: because they're three hours behind. Is behind it Hawaii? Yeah exactly,
Speaker 1: And so the East Coast is six hours ahead of Hawaii.
Speaker 1: And she's like and I'm just really worried that Janet
Speaker 1: is going to tell like Jared and Melissa's like Jared, girls,
Speaker 1: stop trying to make Jared.
Speaker 2: Okay, can I say something? Can I say something really important?
Speaker 2: It's a macro Okay, Yeah, that I should have said before.
Speaker 2: But like Kristin, just tell your fucking parents. It doesn't
Speaker 2: matter if it's even one in the morning, because this
Speaker 2: happened a while ago, so even if they're six hours ahead.
Speaker 2: Just like you just got engaged, take a picture like
Speaker 2: everybody else with their little ring, and then just like
Speaker 2: call the people. You don't have to, Like, that's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that people should tell people, but like
Speaker 2: it's an entire crew, there's a crew with cameras and everything.
Speaker 2: Somebody's going to tell. Somebody is going to get back
Speaker 2: to somebody. Just tell them already. You tell them immediately.
Speaker 2: You don't have to film a television show for hours
Speaker 2: and days on end before telling your family if you
Speaker 2: don't want them to find out otherwise it's just stupid
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry, I'm just I stand by it. And
Speaker 2: it's like a Three's Company episode where it could have
Speaker 2: just been solved if you just told mister Roper that
Speaker 2: like this is your friend that's staying with you from
Speaker 2: Seattle and not your new husband.
Speaker 1: You understand, I do understand what you're saying, and I
Speaker 1: will say that when I got engaged, you know, one
Speaker 1: of the time. No, I only got engaged once. But
Speaker 1: when I got engaged, I did. I called my parents
Speaker 1: at one in the morning, late, and just that's what
Speaker 1: you do. You're right, No, you're right.
Speaker 2: It's such a made up problem for this show that
Speaker 2: it's like, like I said, it's like a it's like
Speaker 2: a Brady buy. It's like just like, oh no, it's
Speaker 2: a big misunderstanding. Yeah, I heard the thing. No, it
Speaker 2: could be cleared up very easily with just like one
Speaker 2: phone call, one email, you could send a text message.
Speaker 2: They'll see it the second they wake up before any news.
Speaker 2: And trust me, it's not making CNN. So calm the
Speaker 2: fuck down.
Speaker 1: You think that this was the setup to like the
Speaker 1: Hawaii episode of The Brady Bunch where they find the
Speaker 1: what's the thing that brings that? U?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a lot of bad luck he get if
Speaker 2: you're talking about Greg Brady, he gets the tarantula for
Speaker 2: some reason shows up, which I don't even think they
Speaker 2: have those there.
Speaker 1: You call the thing though that they find like the
Speaker 1: little like I feel like it starts with a T.
Speaker 2: Yes, probably never know, and probably best that we don't,
Speaker 2: and I don't want anyone to look it up. Also,
Speaker 2: I do not like it when shows, and it's happening
Speaker 2: right now with the Valley and every show we watch.
Speaker 2: I do not like it when they go to another location.
Speaker 2: I didn't like it when the Facts of Life went
Speaker 2: to like Australia. Don't take me out of the thing.
Speaker 2: I know, don't go somewhere.
Speaker 1: I don't want to bottle but we like but we
Speaker 1: do like housewive trips because that's where I feel like it.
Speaker 2: Then well, then in that way, and I guess on
Speaker 2: reality show because they just ply them with alcohol and
Speaker 2: there's nowhere to go and they force them all to
Speaker 2: be together. Yeah, no, I guess it works here. It
Speaker 2: doesn't work in scripted. And I agree even mad Men,
Speaker 2: when like Don Draper would take a trip and like
Speaker 2: just stay where you are see in New York.
Speaker 1: Yes, you don't need to go, you don't need to
Speaker 1: go on a train somewherely just stop. So here's where
Speaker 1: we get into a weird vibe with Jesse because okay,
Speaker 1: so Luke is kind of being cute with Kristen and
Speaker 1: he's like, oh god, I'll do my wife earlier, but
Speaker 1: you're my fiance.
Speaker 2: Hey, look at your ring. It's four carrots. I mean
Speaker 2: that's a lot of carrots. How do you afford that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. But then Jesse comes over very inappropriately
Speaker 1: points at his crotch. Jesse is obsessed with dicks. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he makes so many comments about people's dicks. It's so
Speaker 1: weird through this whole episode. And he's like, oh, he's
Speaker 1: measuring his dick right now. See that, that's his dick.
Speaker 1: He's got a huge dick. He's dick measuring. Did we think?
Speaker 1: I mean, what's going on with him? What's his what's
Speaker 1: your damage? What's your damage? He does protests too much. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a little of something's weird, and he's just it's the coke.
Speaker 1: It's the coke. Yeah. So Zach is talking. He talks
Speaker 1: to Danny and Nia, who I wrote seem perfectly sober. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'll give you that. So Zach is like, hey, guys,
Speaker 1: not for the storyline or anything like, just honestly, it's
Speaker 1: just me sharing information. Yeah, a lot of people are
Speaker 1: resenting you. They're really resenting you. Why what I'm literally like,
Speaker 1: why why are they resenting? Like? What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: Because they were ten minutes later than everybody else, and
Speaker 1: Zach is just stirring it up right, and it's upsetting.
Speaker 2: This upsetting to both and he is like and then yeah,
Speaker 2: and Danny's like a little tipsy, but he's pissed. He's
Speaker 2: mad as anybody would be, like what the fuck? Wait,
Speaker 2: what do you mean they're mad at us? Yeah?
Speaker 1: And then Britney she's like, okay, you say who at least?
Speaker 1: And then Zach's like multiple people like trust me, Like Britney, Jasmine, yeah,
Speaker 1: the guy who just restocked the red vines. That guy's
Speaker 1: pissed so mad. She's like that gave me.
Speaker 2: And so then Kristen she's just I think I think
Speaker 2: it's I think it might be the Veneers.
Speaker 1: I think that the can meet him peep. I'm not
Speaker 1: really hearing it that way, But but what about Britney,
Speaker 1: who's so drunk here And she's like, they are not
Speaker 1: they are talking about me, but I am not. I
Speaker 1: am not about hey have any dramas? Okay, okay, me
Speaker 1: Ma told me I called me Ma, and I called
Speaker 1: I called j X and every reason. Yeah, just because
Speaker 1: she's like basically back together with Jax at this point,
Speaker 1: right right, Okay, So then she Britney starts yelling at everybody.
Speaker 3: She's like, everybody, everybody, I have an announcement to Mike
Speaker 3: a ship. I want to Everboddy to do a big
Speaker 3: cheers to Luke and Kristen.
Speaker 1: God, that's so funny. I missed that. I don't have
Speaker 1: that down at all. Well, I just didn't. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't even write it down. Yeah. After she's so mad,
Speaker 1: I'm just but hurt because that's my best friend. I
Speaker 1: never had a best friend like that.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, I just yeah, So she does, Okay,
Speaker 2: I guess.
Speaker 1: So Danny and Nia are getting pissed, and Danny is like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck, Like, what can this just be about
Speaker 1: Luke and Kristen? Do they really have to try to
Speaker 1: make us a storyline again? And I agreed with him, right,
Speaker 1: And then Kristin and Luke are gonna go upstairs. They're
Speaker 1: gonna go up there like we're gonna go make babies,
Speaker 1: but they're not really, And then Danny's mad and he's like,
Speaker 1: let's just go, let's go, And I didn't. I'm just
Speaker 1: saying for me personally, I did not see. He wasn't drunk,
Speaker 1: he wasn't really doing anything. So this just feels trumped
Speaker 1: up to me. What I trying to find.
Speaker 2: By the way, I've been googling baby sounds because I
Speaker 2: want I think this is the way I can express
Speaker 2: how nia sounds to me. Okay, that's what I hear.
Speaker 2: That is exactly, That's all I hear every time. If
Speaker 2: that isn't any way hilarious, So that's what's been happening.
Speaker 1: So yes, I agree with whatever you what was that?
Speaker 1: But what was your cocaine story that I that I? Oh, well, oh,
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 2: Believe you were Okay, this was not I don't know
Speaker 2: how to tell this story without I was dating a guy, right,
Speaker 2: this was many many years ago, decades ago, and he
Speaker 2: wanted me to meet his friend for the first time, okay,
Speaker 2: like one of his good friends. So we all went
Speaker 2: out and they were I was like, oh, okay, I'll
Speaker 2: just join you guys for a happy hour. I get
Speaker 2: there and they seem really fucked up, like more fucked
Speaker 2: up than like we just gotten there, like how are
Speaker 2: you guys so drunk?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: I'd laterally find out up, yeah, like fucked up. And
Speaker 2: then I find out they'd been doing coke, which is
Speaker 2: not my thing, and I'm like, it's five o'clock on
Speaker 2: a Wednesday, this is insane, you know. But the friend
Speaker 2: of his, who is straight, was really coked out, which
Speaker 2: I did not know at first, and he kept talking
Speaker 2: about his penis, pointed to his penis, pointing to my
Speaker 2: boyfriend at the times penis. So I wonder if that's
Speaker 2: a cocaine thing, it probably gets you like hyper sexualized,
Speaker 2: like meth I bet it does.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, I I you know, I
Speaker 1: haven't heard of that, but I don't I don't doubt it.
Speaker 2: I don't know why that whole story had to be
Speaker 2: told to say, just that coke probably makes you say.
Speaker 2: But I just I've witnessed it. I witnessed this guy
Speaker 2: being like you've probably got a bigger dick than me.
Speaker 2: It was so weird, and I like walked away thinking like,
Speaker 2: is his friend like in love with him or something
Speaker 2: like what's going on? Nope, it was cocaine talking, so
Speaker 2: that's or both.
Speaker 1: They might not be mutually exclusive. That's very true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: very true. I mean Jesse really is like dick focused
Speaker 1: through this whole episode. So either he's just coked up
Speaker 1: the whole time, which would mean that he found it
Speaker 1: on the island, or he somehow smuggled it. Hmm, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure. He doesn't seem as coked as usual,
Speaker 1: so maybe he's just like you said, he's dick focused. Dick,
Speaker 1: he's just got dick brain.
Speaker 2: You got dick brain. Got So everyone goes in the room.
Speaker 2: Janet and Jason are they can hear whatever? They're super
Speaker 2: annoyed and Jams can we talk about Janet's pajamas?
Speaker 1: Did we mention that? God? I love that we noticed
Speaker 1: the same thing. I was like, what this is like
Speaker 1: some kind of fifties housewife? Yes, who buys pajamas that
Speaker 1: look like that's on vacation? No?
Speaker 2: Less, that's your nation outfit. I can't think of anything
Speaker 2: less sexy than that. That's like a grandpa. That's not
Speaker 2: even like that'sn't even like the gown that the like
Speaker 2: grandma wears. That's like the grandpa gr animals. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: what is happening? And they're in bed and they're like,
Speaker 2: I love you. I just didn't know we'd be able
Speaker 2: to hear them through. But I just like, are you
Speaker 2: you okay? Are you okay? I mean they're just acting
Speaker 2: like they're staying so strong through this. They're just so
Speaker 2: strong and brave, brave.
Speaker 1: I'm not stand Jason, of course not. He doesn't bug
Speaker 1: me as much as Janet, but he should. No, Janet's worse.
Speaker 1: So he's such an enabler though.
Speaker 2: He's what is the Karen? What is the man Karen? Like,
Speaker 2: I think there's a Chad's he's like a different Chad.
Speaker 2: He's like a beta Chad's like the alpha Karen.
Speaker 1: And then uh, he's like he's a Brad, Brad Jason
Speaker 1: or Tad. He's a Tad Okay, So Jason, uh, because
Speaker 1: he's just a dick. He whispers, he whispers, Sorry, sorry,
Speaker 1: I didn't know they were going to be here, like
Speaker 1: anyone cares, nobody cares. And then Jason's like, good night,
Speaker 1: shut up, you asshole. So they're so brave, they're just
Speaker 1: so brave. So now we find out that, oh well
Speaker 1: first yeah, also, Janet tells camera and this is going
Speaker 1: to happen a lot through the episode, but she tells camera,
Speaker 1: She's like, yeah, I don't want to be dramatic and
Speaker 1: leave the trip early, but also like, I don't want
Speaker 1: to stay here. I just truly don't know the best
Speaker 1: strategy to get the most amount of attention let everyone
Speaker 1: know that I'm really important to the show, but also
Speaker 1: not be called on any of my bullshit. So I
Speaker 1: don't know what would you do? Yeah, so now we
Speaker 1: find out that Jacks knows right well. Kristen wakes up
Speaker 1: from a tech to a text from Jack's saying congratulations,
Speaker 1: I heard you got engaged, and she's like, a fuck
Speaker 1: is Jack's no? And then Jesse tells Zach, hey, man, hey, bra,
Speaker 1: looking at your cock right now. It just reminded me
Speaker 1: that the boys chat is going crazy. Jax wants to
Speaker 1: tell everybody the news, and Zach's like, well, how the
Speaker 1: hell does it Jackson, and Jesse goes, I don't know,
Speaker 1: And I was like, wow, this really is just Three's company,
Speaker 1: Like you said, exactly, why not just text your fucking
Speaker 1: family though, Kristin, you know, like all of this could
Speaker 1: be just dealt with.
Speaker 2: It's not a big deal. So Kristen is like, well,
Speaker 2: I wonder She calls Brittany this kind of seemed real
Speaker 2: where she's like, Jacks knows.
Speaker 1: Like, would you have any idea of knowing how Jacks knows?
Speaker 1: She's like, I told him, sorry, I did, did did?
Speaker 1: They didn't refer to but I told him not to
Speaker 1: tell anybody. I told him, don't tell nobody. What the fuck?
Speaker 2: I'm just felt sorry, and I know you're gonna get mad,
Speaker 2: but I almost felt sorry for Jackson this in this case,
Speaker 2: because like he's the worst, of course, but he's not
Speaker 2: capable of keeping a secret. He never has been. So
Speaker 2: this is really on Brittany. You gave Jack's information. He's
Speaker 2: actually excited for Kristen, that is his friend, So like,
Speaker 2: you're bad. You can't blame Jack's like, he's just an idiot.
Speaker 2: He's the town idiot.
Speaker 1: I guess so, but like, yes, I mean both of
Speaker 1: them are awful in this context, but yeah, what the
Speaker 1: fuck is Brittany thinking? I don't know.
Speaker 2: Then it flashes to Jason and Janet and they try
Speaker 2: to make a joke. She's like, how long do you
Speaker 2: have to work? He's like all day and night. That
Speaker 2: was actually kind of funny. If it was somebody else
Speaker 2: that said it, we wouldn't mind. But it's Jason's really
Speaker 2: so she's like, nah, god, so joyless.
Speaker 1: She's joyless, Oh my god. Completely. The only time she
Speaker 1: gets joy is when she's like shitting on other people's lives.
Speaker 2: Yes, And then she's being so serious she's like, I
Speaker 2: don't know, I mean, maybe my absence was a gift. Yes, Janet,
Speaker 2: your absence is a gift. That should be the name
Speaker 2: of the episode for us by Oh my god, I
Speaker 2: love it. I love this is a gift one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: Your absence would be a gift. And we don't mean
Speaker 2: from this earth. We want you to live a great
Speaker 2: life and be a good mom and just go live
Speaker 2: your life. But we haven't even acknowledged yet the Janet,
Speaker 2: because we had already recorded our Patreon right, we.
Speaker 1: Didn't even put this in the thing she announced.
Speaker 2: Maybe we did, but she announced that she had to
Speaker 2: flee the country because everyone hates her so much on
Speaker 2: her planned vacation that she was already Oh no, did
Speaker 2: you have to go to Switzerland?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Or Sweden? What did you have to do? So
Speaker 1: she's just.
Speaker 2: I'm wondering if she's trying to set up that she's
Speaker 2: not being asked back. They're gonna let her go, right, Like,
Speaker 2: if the valley gets picked up, she's not going to
Speaker 2: come back, I would imagine.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not sure. She's getting so much black
Speaker 1: and in this episode, which I love to see it,
Speaker 1: But do they think that that's do they? You know?
Speaker 1: But so many villains stay even though we all claim
Speaker 1: to hate them. I mean, the people got rid of
Speaker 1: the people got rid of Lisa Renna. I think it
Speaker 1: was time for her to go. I think she should
Speaker 1: totally come back. You know, sometimes they have to go
Speaker 1: away and like learn about what, learn about it right,
Speaker 1: and then come back. But you know they did that.
Speaker 1: It was just hate.
Speaker 2: It was online campaigns and they just got her out
Speaker 2: like it can be done with Janet much more easily, actually,
Speaker 2: because I would imagine she doesn't have that great of
Speaker 2: a contract. Yeah yeah, yeah, your absence is a gift.
Speaker 2: So then Brittany clomps over to Kristen. That's the only
Speaker 2: way I can put it. She's just like, I feel
Speaker 2: so stupid, and let me say your ring whenever I'm
Speaker 2: not drunk. That is not a sentence that an adult
Speaker 2: woman says. Let me say this is wrong whenever I'm
Speaker 2: not drunk. Can we put that in terms of the way, like, oh,
Speaker 2: now that I'm not drunk, let me see your engagement ring,
Speaker 2: stop saying whenever I'm not drunk, which is never Brittany,
Speaker 2: And like maybe.
Speaker 1: Jack's is a little bit right about that may interesting
Speaker 1: that so much of this show is about like who's
Speaker 1: drunk but we but I guess it's it's only okay
Speaker 1: when other people are. And it's not like she's a
Speaker 1: fun drunk, like she's a Brittany. It's also off awful drunk.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean she's not. Look, she's not the worst
Speaker 2: on the show. There's things I like about Brittany. But
Speaker 2: I see even though Jack's is awful and we all
Speaker 2: agree and we're all like we all cheered Brittany on
Speaker 2: when she filed the divorce papers, like we're on her side.
Speaker 2: But I can see how Jack's also an addict or
Speaker 2: definitely an addict. Feels like, why am I the only
Speaker 2: fucking one when all of you bitches are And when
Speaker 2: I say bitches, I mean everyone and I'm not you know,
Speaker 2: writing He's like when all of y'all, everybody's super drunk,
Speaker 2: including my wife and the mother of my children, and.
Speaker 1: I'm the one who I'm the only one who has
Speaker 1: to get help. I could totally see.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying that his stuff isn't worse, but like,
Speaker 2: I could see that point of view. I can see it,
Speaker 2: I really can. And it's annoying. And whenever I'm not drunk,
Speaker 2: let me see. Oh my god, so pretty.
Speaker 1: I love it. I'm dumb. I'm so dumb. I should
Speaker 1: not have told Jacks. I can't believe I told Jax.
Speaker 1: That's so, that's all me. He's so can't keep a secret.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry a little bit. I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry I felt for a second for Jackson that
Speaker 2: immediately didn't later when he still continues to tell everyone,
Speaker 2: including Schwartz, which is going to come up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm sorry. I'm sure I shouldn't have done that.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, and then can't stop them solve yeah Jacks, Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we already passed the I'm still laughing about
Speaker 1: Janet and Jason and all his cords. I'm just a
Speaker 1: businessman doing business. I'm just lawyering. I'm just lawyering. When
Speaker 1: I'm out of town. I can't stop lawyering with.
Speaker 2: The curious ones. We're the only ones that are really
Speaker 2: doing anything in this group. You'll see also Britney's outfit
Speaker 2: in this scene that we just finished talking about the green.
Speaker 2: It looks it looks like she's had hair and makeup
Speaker 2: to shoot boudoir photos, right, Yes, like it looked it's
Speaker 2: all her sort of I'm a madam with the green,
Speaker 2: the crazy green like shiny bathing suit with her boobs
Speaker 2: pouring out of it and then like that see through
Speaker 2: sheer green.
Speaker 1: It was just like, what are you? What is happening?
Speaker 1: It's giving, it's giving a little best little horehouse in Texas. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: that's she's like a southern madam from like way back
Speaker 1: in the early and the early nineteen hundreds. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: it's yeah, it's too much for all of us. So
Speaker 1: then so there's yeah, right, should we should we break here?
Speaker 1: It's a good time to break you guys, I think
Speaker 1: you guys, I mean, I have a lot left, but
Speaker 1: we can. Let's just do this here, Okay, we'll do
Speaker 1: the scene. Yeah, So Kristen tells Brittany, she's like, she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's kind of a bummer like that you did this
Speaker 1: like that you told Jacks because I wanted to talk
Speaker 1: to you about something else, Like she's like, oh, no,
Speaker 1: I'm upset about this, but like I'm upset actually about
Speaker 1: something like.
Speaker 2: More, which I was on Kristen's side one for this conversation.
Speaker 2: By the way, I assume you were too, Yes, yes, but.
Speaker 1: I thought it was interesting that she's like, yeah, you
Speaker 1: fuck up in this other way prevented me from like
Speaker 1: actually telling you why else I'm mad at you. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Brittany needs to be held a little bit more accountable
Speaker 1: just what she says.
Speaker 2: She's like, you know, when Janet's just yelling at me,
Speaker 2: and she names all the times and she's like, when
Speaker 2: was Janney yelling She's like, I'm el Coyote here, this place,
Speaker 2: this place. She's like, you never stand up for me.
Speaker 2: You never speak up for me. You speak up for Janet,
Speaker 2: but not me. And to Britney's credit, she handles it
Speaker 2: pretty well. She's like she hears it, she doesn't argue
Speaker 2: it well.
Speaker 1: I just thought it was funny because I don't think
Speaker 1: Britney even understood what was happening at first, because she
Speaker 1: goes because Kristen's like, yeah, like at all, Coyote. When
Speaker 1: Janet inserted herself in the drama then started yelling, and
Speaker 1: she goes, I don't need you to be my bodyguard.
Speaker 1: But all you said was like Jane, come on, and Brittany, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'll side that because I didn't want her yelling at you.
Speaker 1: She's like, okay, then say shut the fuck up. Don't
Speaker 1: talk shit about my best friend. Don't just go like
Speaker 1: come on? Right, he goes, I wait a minute, So
Speaker 1: you want me to stand up.
Speaker 2: More or you, like, for real, not just like a
Speaker 2: little tiny bit that doesn't even make any sense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Christy, Yeah, like you stand up to me all
Speaker 1: the time? Right? Are there? And are there any repercussions
Speaker 1: for Janet for being a complete psycho and starring up
Speaker 1: drama all the time? And then Brittany goes, listen, you
Speaker 1: meane the world to me and I'm sorry if I'm
Speaker 1: so sorry if you feel like I'm not taking up
Speaker 1: for you and like bringing you beer cheese and like
Speaker 1: me my talk, bringing you to my mainma, like I
Speaker 1: should really stand up for you more. Well, so she
Speaker 1: gets it. She gets it pretty quickly, and I didn't
Speaker 1: hate that. Then Kristen goes, yeah, like Janet is a
Speaker 1: miserable human being and I just can't stand her anymore,
Speaker 1: and Brittany goes, Wow, she's coming in at or you
Speaker 1: can be able to handle it. But the she's gone,
Speaker 1: what why? What the hell? Yeah why? And Brittany, Brittany
Speaker 1: goes like this to I don't I think she says
Speaker 1: this to the camera. She goes, you know what, she goes,
Speaker 1: Jane has my trust, She's been there for me and luck,
Speaker 1: you know, I have a really good picker, like I
Speaker 1: can tell who's trustworthy. Like just this morning, I told
Speaker 1: Jax all about Christian's engagement because I knew he would
Speaker 1: keep a secret. I mean, I know is a good guy.
Speaker 1: At the end of the day. What if she just
Speaker 1: goes and he's really the best man I've ever met.
Speaker 1: She basically kind of does that in this episode. It
Speaker 1: was so crazy making yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And then this is the part I believe where it
Speaker 2: comes up is like, how is Janet even on the show?
Speaker 2: Is this the same conversation where there's like, you remember
Speaker 2: how she came to the show, she's a friend, she's
Speaker 2: a fan of the show that sheena fucking dragged on. Yes, Like,
Speaker 2: who the hell even is she? When she's like when
Speaker 2: I met her, I kind of liked her whatever. I
Speaker 2: thought she was a friend of she is, but then
Speaker 2: I find out she's just a fan of vander Pomp. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and like a mega fan. And I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: have two. She's like, I don't have fucks to give
Speaker 2: for that. I have too much going on. I have
Speaker 2: no fucks to do. And Brittany acts like she's never
Speaker 2: heard them before. She's like, you know, I have no fucks.
Speaker 1: Whenever. I don't got no fucks to give. I also
Speaker 1: don't have no fucks. Again, I've never heard that before,
Speaker 1: which makes me think of your story about Brad Pitt
Speaker 1: not understanding fling it.
Speaker 2: You can't fling the pattern here without hitting some hitting somebody,
Speaker 2: hitting a model or whatever.
Speaker 1: And he's like, I never heard that one. What do
Speaker 1: you mean, dead cat? Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh, oh my god. All right, that might be a
Speaker 2: good place. Yeah, this is a good place to break.
Speaker 1: All right. We will see you guys in just like
Speaker 1: five minutes. Okay, hey, yeah, you get it. Bye bye.