Speaker 1: This is an Unspoiled Network podcast. This is spoil Me
Speaker 1: covering Dungeon Crawler Carl Book two, Carl's Doomsday's Scenario, chapters
Speaker 1: eighteen and nineteen. In these chapters, Carl and Doughnut go
Speaker 1: to find the magistrate who is not in, who only
Speaker 1: comes out at night lately, who has a whole lot
Speaker 1: of highly suss things surrounding him that either means he
Speaker 1: is doing the thing, has been taken over by somebody
Speaker 1: doing the thing, is compromised in some way, or maybe
Speaker 1: is dead. Welcome to spoil Me. Welcome to the show everyone.
Speaker 1: I am Natasha. Thank you very much to Michael for
Speaker 1: commissioning this episode, and Michael is here in the chat
Speaker 1: along with Rob. Appreciate you guys being here. So this
Speaker 1: section was really, really fun. It's sort of like it's
Speaker 1: one of those things where I don't, okay, I'm going
Speaker 1: to get one thing out of the way, and I
Speaker 1: really want you guys to bear with me here as
Speaker 1: I say this, because I know that they are going
Speaker 1: to be folks rolling their eyes and frankly too bad,
Speaker 1: but I just want to get out of the way
Speaker 1: that the dead Hooker joke calling them dead hookers, the
Speaker 1: way that that line keeps being delivered. I understand the
Speaker 1: kind of vulgar quality of the word combo is what's
Speaker 1: sort of funny and meant to give the shock value
Speaker 1: that makes it in the moment feel particularly jarring, and
Speaker 1: that is part of what adds to the comedic aspect
Speaker 1: of it. So I understand the goal in using those words,
Speaker 1: and I understand that perhaps taking issue with those words
Speaker 1: might frustrate some people because they're like, that's what's funny.
Speaker 1: But I just have grown very sick of the way
Speaker 1: that we tend to treat sex workers in general, and
Speaker 1: using this sort of like hooker horror language. It just
Speaker 1: has grown to bother me. Now again acknowledging that if
Speaker 1: he were to say dead sex worker, that isn't as funny.
Speaker 1: It isn't right. But sometimes I think we need to
Speaker 1: acknowledge that part of the humor of something is that
Speaker 1: we're like kind of dehumanizing a person, and maybe we
Speaker 1: should examine the fact that the more we dehumanize them,
Speaker 1: the funnier it is, and just take a moment and
Speaker 1: really sit with that and what does that mean about
Speaker 1: our brand of humor and what we find funny and
Speaker 1: just stop and think about it. That's all I'm asking.
Speaker 1: I am not trying to preach here because I acknowledge
Speaker 1: that dead Hooker is funnier, and I tried not to
Speaker 1: let it bother me because I understand the sphear in
Speaker 1: which I think he's doing this, But I just have
Speaker 1: to acknowledge that every time it is said, I WinCE
Speaker 1: a little bit. It's just, you know what I'm saying it.
Speaker 1: It is turning the woman into the punchline when she
Speaker 1: is the victim, and I think that's what is so
Speaker 1: upsetting in a way for me. And I have no
Speaker 1: doubt that the direction the author is going here is worthwhile,
Speaker 1: So I'm not trying to say that he has gained
Speaker 1: my trust mostly over this past book, so I am
Speaker 1: trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, and
Speaker 1: I am trusting that the overall message that he is
Speaker 1: heading for here is going to be something that is
Speaker 1: very humanizing, and that he is actually, in the end
Speaker 1: going to do the opposite of what it seems like
Speaker 1: he's doing with this joke, which is part of why
Speaker 1: I hesitate to even bring it up, but I just
Speaker 1: want to. I was running into this in a previous
Speaker 1: recording as well. It's sometimes necessary for me to share
Speaker 1: with you guys on one hundred percent truth about what
Speaker 1: I'm feeling as I'm reading, just so that you guys
Speaker 1: can sort of understand the changes that can happen in
Speaker 1: my attitude towards something as I continue along, because there
Speaker 1: are going to be times where something bothers me that
Speaker 1: another time it doesn't, or something bothers me and later
Speaker 1: I'll see why or something doesn't bother me, And then
Speaker 1: in retrospect after I read a different thing, I'm like,
Speaker 1: that was fucked up and I didn't even realize, you know.
Speaker 1: So I think it's important, even with all of my
Speaker 1: many caveats, to just tell you how I'm feeling about this,
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. Rob says, I am with you
Speaker 1: one hundred percent on that. Like, we could also have
Speaker 1: a storyline that doesn't have to deal with the precarity
Speaker 1: of sex work, and that's another thing. And again I'm
Speaker 1: trying to withhold judgment on this in general because I
Speaker 1: feel like I trust where we might ultimately be going
Speaker 1: with this. But like dead sex workers is such a thing,
Speaker 1: it's such a trope that when it pops up there
Speaker 1: is a big part of me that just kind of
Speaker 1: lets out a deep sigh of boredom and just frustration.
Speaker 1: You know. It's the kind of thing that it's like,
Speaker 1: again not saying that that's what's happening here, but it
Speaker 1: can feel very much like we're going to pretend that
Speaker 1: what we are doing is shining a light on how
Speaker 1: like dangerous it is for women and that they are
Speaker 1: constantly in danger, when really what it is is we're
Speaker 1: being very judgy about sex workers, and it's concern trolling
Speaker 1: for sex work. It's like people who try and pretend
Speaker 1: I just care about your health, when really they're just
Speaker 1: fat shaving you. You know what I'm saying, It's like that.
Speaker 1: But again, I'm just trying to withhold judgment and share
Speaker 1: how I'm feeling right now and acknowledge that I'm aware
Speaker 1: there's a possibility that all of this will be worthwhile
Speaker 1: or turn a corner or something at some point. Rob says,
Speaker 1: And it really fucks with my immersion in any series
Speaker 1: when this happens. Michael says, got to remember that the
Speaker 1: tropes are kind of deliberate. This is all a game
Speaker 1: with well worn tropes, and that's part of it, Michael.
Speaker 1: It's also like, that's part of what I think about
Speaker 1: the author eventually going to make this being worthwhile is
Speaker 1: that I think he's doing this to make a point potentially,
Speaker 1: but also again not saying that's that's what happened, that's
Speaker 1: what's happening here, but there are times where it's like
Speaker 1: the trope is the point, but also the trope existing
Speaker 1: is something the author is sort of hiding behind because
Speaker 1: they just wanted to do the thing, so got to
Speaker 1: keep an eye out. Rob says, I won't say that
Speaker 1: Dinniman is perfect. And there's definitely some very fat phobic
Speaker 1: stuff in the future books so future books too, but
Speaker 1: it's never be labored and the other politics in the
Speaker 1: book are incredible too. Yeah, the fat phobia is definitely
Speaker 1: it's something that it's it's a really it's a very
Speaker 1: slippery slope. You know, there's another series I'm reading that
Speaker 1: is so good, but they definitely have that flavor to them. Occasionally.
Speaker 1: Fat phobia is one of those things that even in
Speaker 1: work that is so future looking and so aware, it
Speaker 1: still creeps in sometimes and it is incredible how great
Speaker 1: a person can be on so many things and then
Speaker 1: they still will just you know, So we go into
Speaker 1: chapter eighteen. Getting to this office had been a chore.
Speaker 1: The town's administrative buildings had no first or second floor,
Speaker 1: and we'd had to utilize donuts puddle Jumper spell to
Speaker 1: teleport from the rooftop of a knife shop to the
Speaker 1: landing entrance of the town hall. She recently hit level
Speaker 1: five with the spell, which had solved the line of
Speaker 1: sight issue. It basically added support for jumping up to
Speaker 1: a higher elevation when you couldn't see the ground above you.
Speaker 1: It was a minor edition, but one that made it
Speaker 1: much more useful. We zapped into the building's third floor
Speaker 1: entrance only to come face to face with two of
Speaker 1: the village swordsman guards. And they don't have wings, so
Speaker 1: they're just like regular dudes, which they don't know how
Speaker 1: these guys even got up here, which is interesting. See
Speaker 1: don'nut had protested, but I talked her into putting Mango
Speaker 1: into his carrier for this excursion. We were headed into
Speaker 1: the legislative chamber of this town and the last thing
Speaker 1: we needed was the murder Chicken to go on to
Speaker 1: go a murdering. I really did like that the murder
Speaker 1: Chicken to go a murdering. I just want to point
Speaker 1: out that, Okay, so maybe this is going to seem
Speaker 1: like a reach to some of you, and those of
Speaker 1: you who disagree on my issue with dead hookers might
Speaker 1: be like, oh, this is the first reach. Shut up.
Speaker 1: I cannot help but think about how they have organized
Speaker 1: everything in this town so that only skyfowl can reach
Speaker 1: certain areas unless you have a literal superpower to get
Speaker 1: you to the spot where you can talk to people.
Speaker 1: And this just reminded me so much of accessibility and
Speaker 1: ableism in our world, and I just wanted to take
Speaker 1: a little aside. I have grown a lot more sensitive
Speaker 1: to accessibility over probably the past five years. I would
Speaker 1: say part of it was being on a trip with
Speaker 1: somebody in a wheelchair. Part of it has been having
Speaker 1: more friends who have disabilities and mentioned things in statuses
Speaker 1: or stories of theirs. You know. And there is a
Speaker 1: woman that I met when I was on a little
Speaker 1: trip recently to a cosplay event, and she is a
Speaker 1: cosplayer who is wheelchair bound, and she is well known
Speaker 1: enough in cosplay circles that she is brought on panels
Speaker 1: at different cons to talk about accessibility in the cosplay
Speaker 1: what's the word I want circuit? I guess. This woman
Speaker 1: has been on I think four panels so far this year.
Speaker 1: One of them had no ramp at all. It's a
Speaker 1: literal panel on accessibility, and they did not make it
Speaker 1: accessible to get through the panel at all. And the
Speaker 1: second one had a ramp that had been installed incorrectly
Speaker 1: and so was unusable, and evidently there was nobody on
Speaker 1: hand to correct it. Both times she had to sit
Speaker 1: in her chair on the floor in front of the
Speaker 1: platform and speak on accessibility from a place that she
Speaker 1: could literally not be seen by a lot of the
Speaker 1: audience because she was seated and she is shorter than average,
Speaker 1: and nobody had made a way for her to get
Speaker 1: up on the stage. And I just really, I mean,
Speaker 1: how are you not embarrassed? And she shares these and
Speaker 1: tags the convention so like these places know, and you
Speaker 1: would really think that all of their energy would be
Speaker 1: going toward making sure this looks like as good as
Speaker 1: it can look for the subject matter, even if it
Speaker 1: is purely for optics and nothing else, even if it
Speaker 1: is just for the very superficial. And yet they don't
Speaker 1: even do that, which is deeply incredible to me. So Anyway,
Speaker 1: I just wanted to mention that, sorry, Michael is saying
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of chat here, but uh, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go up a little bit. Rob says, I won't even
Speaker 1: say that Dinniman is perfect. And there's definitely some very
Speaker 1: fat foot Oh I read that in the instances in
Speaker 1: these books are right on the line. It feels like
Speaker 1: it feels honestly edgy in the truest sense of that word.
Speaker 1: Michael says, even The Good Place had some fat jokes,
Speaker 1: even if they were framed at showcasing how bad a
Speaker 1: person Eleanor was. And yeah, that's another thing, is like
Speaker 1: having a character say certain things that otherwise is terrible,
Speaker 1: and like it's supposed to be that they are, and
Speaker 1: so they're doing the thing. But also sometimes it does
Speaker 1: feel like we're kind of cloaking it just so that
Speaker 1: because we want to make the joke. Sometimes I do
Speaker 1: feel that way a little bit with like Pierce in community.
Speaker 1: You don't even have to get that literal. Just restrictive
Speaker 1: voter laws like requiring a photo ID is restricting access.
Speaker 1: It seems innocuous and easy until you learn that not
Speaker 1: everyone lives in areas where it's easy to take some
Speaker 1: time out of your work data head to the local
Speaker 1: DMV and Rob says, an editor would tell you the
Speaker 1: symbolism was too heavy handed if you wrote that, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is life. Life is heavy handed a f as
Speaker 1: I have come to learn. So the cataclysm, like the
Speaker 1: Skyfall had been in charge. After the cataclysm, there scattered around,
Speaker 1: but the remaining Eagle controlled villages, such as this one
Speaker 1: still maintained a similar structure as before. As a result,
Speaker 1: Magistrate Featherfall was the big boss man of this village.
Speaker 1: In the old days, there would have been a governor
Speaker 1: that he answered to. The third floor was a high
Speaker 1: end shopping mall catering only to skyfowl. The administrative building
Speaker 1: and home to the magistrate was directly above this floor,
Speaker 1: but anyone visiting had to first walk through this section.
Speaker 1: The shops reminded me of this type of stores one
Speaker 1: would find at the airport, filled with expensive crep like
Speaker 1: silk robes and fancy hats and scrolls. Even though the
Speaker 1: sparse customers were all eagle folk, the clerks and assistants
Speaker 1: were all non eagles, most of them harried looking young women,
Speaker 1: human and elves rushing about being snapped at and verbally
Speaker 1: used by skyfowl shoppers. You, guys, I will never forget Philadelphia,
Speaker 1: despite being a very racially diverse city, is a very
Speaker 1: divided city. It's like really segregated still in a way
Speaker 1: that is jarring to see sometimes because I was originally
Speaker 1: from New Haven, Connecticut, and that is a very diverse
Speaker 1: and mixed together city as long as you don't count
Speaker 1: like Yale being dropped in the center of everything. But
Speaker 1: setting that aside, and I remember coming to Philly. I
Speaker 1: was looking to buy a house there with my husband
Speaker 1: at the time. So we got out of the airport
Speaker 1: and went straight to a hotel. And when we we
Speaker 1: got picked up in a cab driven by a black man.
Speaker 1: We pull up to the hotel and the bell hops
Speaker 1: outside are black. We stepped through the doors, everybody behind
Speaker 1: the counters is. There's a literal shoeshine booth with a
Speaker 1: black man working at it. There's a concierge with a
Speaker 1: black man, and every single solitary guest was white. And
Speaker 1: it felt like I had stepped back in time. It
Speaker 1: was the weirdest sensation. I had never been in a
Speaker 1: place that there was such a clear, visible divide between
Speaker 1: the guests and the help and the help all being
Speaker 1: a different color. I had never seen it before anywhere,
Speaker 1: and it was just startling, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And this is something that always comes to mind when
Speaker 1: a place is described like this. They have to have stairs,
Speaker 1: the help can get up there. I said, That still
Speaker 1: doesn't explain how they get here in the first place.
Speaker 1: Donna says, paintings of eagles fighting elves and other oddities
Speaker 1: adorned the walls. I just want to point out that
Speaker 1: the elves are like serving them in the store, but
Speaker 1: there's paintings of them fighting them on the walls, which
Speaker 1: what is that reminding us of? We passed multiple guards,
Speaker 1: a couple eagle shoppers who startled at our appearance, and
Speaker 1: a handful of other bird like creatures called chickadees whom
Speaker 1: I'd originally mistaken for juvenile skyfowel. These guys only came
Speaker 1: up to my waist and were like dwarven versions of
Speaker 1: the larger birds. So they run into a woman named
Speaker 1: Burgundy and she's like, are you sure you're meant to
Speaker 1: be here? And they they say they want to see
Speaker 1: the magistrate, and she just says good luck and leaves
Speaker 1: them to it. Eventually they get up there and they
Speaker 1: meet miss Quill and it is described by the AI
Speaker 1: as like, good luck getting past her to see him,
Speaker 1: because if she doesn't want you to see him, you're
Speaker 1: not going to see him. So Dona tries to use
Speaker 1: her charisma and it is not working. There is a
Speaker 1: suspicion that there is an anti charm spell thinks. So
Speaker 1: as soon as Carl like, she says something about like,
Speaker 1: are the Skyfall being targeted by this murderer? And he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: so as long as it's not Skyfall, the victims can
Speaker 1: just go fuck off. And she's like, yeah, that's what
Speaker 1: it was like when my husband was magistrate, my late husband,
Speaker 1: and now that it's featherfault, still the same. But please
Speaker 1: feel free to leave a note describing this situation, and
Speaker 1: if it warrants further investigation, we'll get back to you.
Speaker 1: What about the evidence we collected? Should we leave that
Speaker 1: here too? I asked. As soon as he said this,
Speaker 1: I was like, he's about to drop a body on
Speaker 1: this bitch's desk. I knew it instantly, because of course,
Speaker 1: why would you not do that? Look at this bitch like,
Speaker 1: and so yeah, I pulled the dead hooker for my
Speaker 1: inventory and splatted her on the eagle's desk. The corpse's
Speaker 1: legs still stiff with rigor upset, the line of beanie
Speaker 1: babies tumbling them off the edge of the desk one
Speaker 1: by one like a line of synchronized swimmers diving into
Speaker 1: the pool. I've been afraid the system wouldn't let me
Speaker 1: pick up and store the corpse, as it wasn't something
Speaker 1: we'd tried before. I'd been surprised to find it did
Speaker 1: let us, and it even helpfully labeled the body as
Speaker 1: quest clues in my inventory, which I do kind of love.
Speaker 1: So the beanie babies that are all of creatures in
Speaker 1: this universe are obviously important to her, and they keep
Speaker 1: basically holding them hostage and getting using them to convince
Speaker 1: her to help them, and she calls insecurity, but because
Speaker 1: he has this gate pass which allows you to carry
Speaker 1: a dead body, the security just looks at him and
Speaker 1: then turns around and leaves. And she is so mad
Speaker 1: about it, and that is so fucking funny to me.
Speaker 1: He asks how they get up there, and she doesn't
Speaker 1: answer him. This one is getting really dirty. I think
Speaker 1: that the label tore on this one, Carl, stop stepping
Speaker 1: on them. Stop stomach right now. Please just take it away.
Speaker 1: The elderly eagle appeared to be on the verge of tears.
Speaker 1: Take her away, Doughnut corrected, I love you so much, Donut,
Speaker 1: I love you so much. So yeah, she says, he
Speaker 1: only comes out at night nowadays. Oh my god, what's
Speaker 1: that liquid? I don't know, I said, it's not blood.
Speaker 1: They've had all their blood sucked out of them, but
Speaker 1: their bodies still leak and smell. It's really gross. Please
Speaker 1: please just take it away, take her away. I'll tell
Speaker 1: him we were here, I promise. A milky white stain
Speaker 1: of fluid covered Miss Quill's desk. I'm kind of thinking
Speaker 1: maybe embalming fluid. I always imagined inbalming fluid as being
Speaker 1: clear or like milky, and I don't know where I
Speaker 1: got that from. I feel like I must have been
Speaker 1: in a TV show I saw or something, but that
Speaker 1: was the only thing I could think. So she gets
Speaker 1: up to go get some paper tunnels and they tried
Speaker 1: to open his chamber door, and a magical lock is
Speaker 1: on it. My eyes focused on the top undisturbed line
Speaker 1: of beanies sitting above her desk. Just tell him we
Speaker 1: came by, I said to miss quill as we went
Speaker 1: back down the stairs, and you're welcome for fixing your shelf.
Speaker 1: I am really curious what the deal is with the
Speaker 1: uh undisturbed and fixing her shelf. What did he do?
Speaker 1: Did they put a camera in there? Is that possible?
Speaker 1: I don't even know how what kind of equipment they've got.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to think, you know, hmm. Anyway, so
Speaker 1: they're talking about whether or not the magistrate is their man,
Speaker 1: and Doughnut says, we don't even know for sure he
Speaker 1: has anything to do with it. Nope, I said, That's
Speaker 1: why I wanted to talk to him when he was
Speaker 1: in his office. I figured if he's some evil, crazy boss,
Speaker 1: he wouldn't call off Freddy Krueger on us in public.
Speaker 1: And if he's not the bad guy, surely he'd be
Speaker 1: able to point us in the correct direction. But I
Speaker 1: don't think it's that complicated. This quest is only a
Speaker 1: silver one. Plus look at the clues. He's a black cleric.
Speaker 1: He only comes out at night. It has to be him.
Speaker 1: And I really appreciated this discussion because I definitely immediately
Speaker 1: when she was like oh, he only comes out at night.
Speaker 1: Of course, I went, oh, is he the guy? And
Speaker 1: then I went, that's a little too easy. But when
Speaker 1: he points out that it's only a silver level quest,
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, it never occurred to me that
Speaker 1: depending on the level of quest, it's either more or
Speaker 1: less of a twist. Potentially, you know, I'm interested to see.
Speaker 1: Let's see. Uh, oh my god, this is There's a
Speaker 1: point where they passed by a place selling these beautiful
Speaker 1: skyfowl robes, and Donut says something about how she would
Speaker 1: love to learn how to fly, and I would love
Speaker 1: to see Donut flying, honestly, like that would be I
Speaker 1: don't know why, just adding she's got this old ciara,
Speaker 1: adding like wings, how adorable would she be? Oh my god,
Speaker 1: it would be too much. Zev said, if we were
Speaker 1: fighting or in the midst of something, they wouldn't allow
Speaker 1: us to get transported, which was why she preferred us
Speaker 1: to be in a safe room. When it was time. Still,
Speaker 1: we had two hours, and I decided we should use
Speaker 1: the time wisely, so we left the city and traveled west,
Speaker 1: searching for mobs to kill. I had two dozen hoblobbers.
Speaker 1: The fuses on the bombs were between six and seven seconds,
Speaker 1: which was perfect when I was tossing them like they
Speaker 1: were grenades, but when I was hurling them at two
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty miles per hour at a mob six
Speaker 1: seconds was a little too more so instead, I pre
Speaker 1: lit ten, which took two and a half seconds off
Speaker 1: the fuse. Both Mordecai and Donut were mortified by the
Speaker 1: idea of me walking around with lit bombs sitting in
Speaker 1: my inventory, but it was pretty much the only way
Speaker 1: I could properly do this with the equipment that I had.
Speaker 1: I can't get enough of how fucking cavalier Carl has
Speaker 1: gotten a bad explosives. I am waiting for him to
Speaker 1: really fuck himself up, and like I'm not even blaming him,
Speaker 1: but this is the nature of the beast. Anytime you
Speaker 1: are doing something that's highly dangerous, but you do it
Speaker 1: for a long time or repetitively, you start to get
Speaker 1: used to it and stop treating it like the danger
Speaker 1: that it is. And I'm not saying that he's wrong
Speaker 1: to even handle it this way, because I think that's genius, honestly,
Speaker 1: but like that is what happens. Is the more you
Speaker 1: the longer you go doing something very dangerous without getting injured.
Speaker 1: The more you begin to behave as if that injury
Speaker 1: isn't a possibility at all. And so I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I got my eye out, man, Just start being a
Speaker 1: way of this stuff, Carl, I'm just saying. So we
Speaker 1: walked a row of especially decrepit buildings. Manga walked beside us,
Speaker 1: randomly growling, I've been alarmed at first, but there didn't
Speaker 1: seem to be anything out there. We hadn't seen anything
Speaker 1: for fifteen minutes. Then I saw the X on the map,
Speaker 1: and I realized it was the corpse of a neighborhood boss.
Speaker 1: This area had already been cleared by somebody else, probably
Speaker 1: a few days earlier. The attack came just as I
Speaker 1: was about to descend into an abandoned used to be
Speaker 1: indoor swimming pool. And what it is is that these
Speaker 1: beings are here that have been killed. But well we'll
Speaker 1: see in a second. The empty swimming pool has a
Speaker 1: rotting corpse of a sea creature in it. The boss
Speaker 1: was a level seventeen monster called the Divider, killed by
Speaker 1: a crawler named Daniel about tis too. Just as I
Speaker 1: stepped into the shallow end of the empty pool. The
Speaker 1: world around us went dark. A dozen red dots appeared
Speaker 1: on the map. We'd left the inn at sunrise and
Speaker 1: hadn't hit whatever this world's version of noon was called.
Speaker 1: The sun had blazed directly above, and we'd gone from
Speaker 1: day to night so quickly I thought I'd been struck blind.
Speaker 1: The dots remained on the street. They crept slowly and cautiously,
Speaker 1: as if they thought they were sneaking up on us.
Speaker 1: Donut immediately cast torch, shooting the light high above the street.
Speaker 1: It was like a star in the sky, but it
Speaker 1: didn't feel the darkness like it should, as if the
Speaker 1: murk was resisting it. A moment later, a green bolt
Speaker 1: shot from one of the red dots, and it crashed
Speaker 1: right into the torch, snuffing it out. Well, that was rude,
Speaker 1: Doughnut said, shit, they have an anti magic attack. I
Speaker 1: pulled two regular torches from my inventory, lit them, and
Speaker 1: tossed them ahead of me. They skittered out onto the street.
Speaker 1: The darkness did not budge down the street. Something moaned.
Speaker 1: I could make out sheeps, and so they're looking at
Speaker 1: you know what the creatures are. Dona is able to
Speaker 1: see two our city elves the further dots. I don't
Speaker 1: know what the other things are, but they're very big.
Speaker 1: She says, should we do slime Time? And this is
Speaker 1: a predetermined play, her favorite, And he says, and for
Speaker 1: good reason. It was fucking awesome, which I really enjoyed
Speaker 1: hearing in the audiobook, the enthusiasm in the it was
Speaker 1: fucking awesome. We don't get to find out what that
Speaker 1: is here, and I can't wait to see slime Time eventually.
Speaker 1: So he throws a bomb, It hits something and then
Speaker 1: it bounces back. You guys, this the stick and blow.
Speaker 1: It bounced rolling towards me. Oh fuck, oh fuck. I
Speaker 1: hopped backward into the empty pool, not bothering to gauge
Speaker 1: exactly where I was standing. I prepared to press my
Speaker 1: protective spiel shield spell, protective shell spell. Oh my god,
Speaker 1: Why did I say that so wrong? But I wanted
Speaker 1: to be closer to Donut and Mango before I did. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: I stopped falling much sooner than I anticipated. I landed
Speaker 1: directly on the spongy, rotting corpse of the divider and
Speaker 1: that was the last thing I remembered. And when he
Speaker 1: wakes up, Donut is handling this shit I should say
Speaker 1: Donut and Mango. The two of them are killing these
Speaker 1: things using magic missiles. He's going in there. He's already
Speaker 1: lay leveled up again, and she is coded in gore
Speaker 1: because of the missiles exploding them. And let's see the
Speaker 1: moment this second elf died the light snapped back on.
Speaker 1: The first thing Doughnut saw was me sailing up in
Speaker 1: the air like I'd been ejected from a catapult, spinning
Speaker 1: like a pin wheel. I landed upon the roof of
Speaker 1: the building across the street. I awakened, staring up at
Speaker 1: the sky. I'd gone up a level to nineteen. Good morning, Carl.
Speaker 1: I haven't seen any more of the elves, but the
Speaker 1: meat bags keep coming. They're pretty easy to kill if
Speaker 1: you hit them in the right place. Mango is having
Speaker 1: a field day. He's already gone up to level twelve.
Speaker 1: Good boy, Mongo. Mommy's going to kill the next one,
Speaker 1: and you get the one behind him, and she is
Speaker 1: just like, this has been such a great day for experience.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. So they keep doing this for a little bit.
Speaker 1: Let's see. Fucking hell, what the hell happened down there?
Speaker 1: You did it? You really need to be more careful, Carl,
Speaker 1: I saw finally saw one of the monsters we've been facing.
Speaker 1: The beast was a thirteen foot tall pile of body parts,
Speaker 1: all sewn together haphazardly as it shuffled forward, and they're
Speaker 1: all these things are human parts. The thing moved and
Speaker 1: was shaped like a giant slug, And this really made
Speaker 1: me think of Greed in Full Metal Alchemist's Brotherhood Shambling Berserker,
Speaker 1: And it's like all the parts left from people who
Speaker 1: were killed on the surface, very slow, but very tenacious.
Speaker 1: They are mostly harmless unless you face one in the dark.
Speaker 1: Their power is quadrupled in the dark. I thought of
Speaker 1: missus Parsons, my downstairs neighbor before all this started. She'd
Speaker 1: been beheaded in the collapse. Her head had fallen at
Speaker 1: my feet, but the rest of her had gone down
Speaker 1: into the depths with the rest of the building. Had
Speaker 1: they used her headless body for one of these things,
Speaker 1: which is just such an awful thought. I really liked
Speaker 1: having a person that we've met to kind of imagine
Speaker 1: because it's awful anyway, But you know how it is
Speaker 1: when something is just a little bit closer to home,
Speaker 1: and it just makes it feel all the more real
Speaker 1: to you. So yeah, I just love the fact that
Speaker 1: he is able to get knocked out and her continue
Speaker 1: handling shit while he's out. It's just like it's it's
Speaker 1: as somebody with anxiety, and a lot of that anxiety
Speaker 1: stemming from this feeling of like nobody around me is competent.
Speaker 1: I have nobody that I can really trust to just
Speaker 1: get things done if I don't do them. It's just
Speaker 1: very comforting in a story when somebody is taken out
Speaker 1: and another person actually steps up and like does the thing.
Speaker 1: I love knowing that she is handling things, you know,
Speaker 1: and having Mango helps because obviously this was the only
Speaker 1: solution unless we were going to make Donut an actual fighter,
Speaker 1: and we can't have her be a fighter fighter the
Speaker 1: way that Karl is and also preserve the character and
Speaker 1: the way that she operates. So giving her a pet
Speaker 1: who fights is a really good way to cover that
Speaker 1: weak spot. So yeah, picking fucking Mango really was a
Speaker 1: good thing for all involved. Let's see, this was a
Speaker 1: different production trailer than the one we'd use for the
Speaker 1: Macero show, but it was still a rental. According to
Speaker 1: the Frisbee shaped robot running the thing, they'd likely rented
Speaker 1: this place at the last minute, since I told zeb
Speaker 1: we didn't have time to get properly cleaned up. She
Speaker 1: sounded as if she might cry over the chat when
Speaker 1: I told her. She started lecturing us on how we
Speaker 1: needed to be ready for our quote media relations obligations,
Speaker 1: which I just really love that they're being put in
Speaker 1: this position where they have to be like presentable on
Speaker 1: screen but also do as much as they can fighting
Speaker 1: and they get penalized no matter what, because that is
Speaker 1: just how life is, you know, like just everybody expects
Speaker 1: you to always be on point for everything, but they
Speaker 1: want you to also be on point for the things
Speaker 1: that are in direct opposition to that first thing, and
Speaker 1: it's just come on, can we all get a fucking
Speaker 1: break Jesus. So they need to get donut cleaned up,
Speaker 1: but the amount of gore on her is proving very,
Speaker 1: very difficult. So when they go to this production trailer,
Speaker 1: there is a robot that is like, trust me, I
Speaker 1: got this, and indeed, when she comes out, she looks
Speaker 1: like she has been to a six hundred dollars appointment
Speaker 1: in downtown Manhattan and is fucking camera ready. Carl Donna
Speaker 1: tells me one may purchase one of these all purpose
Speaker 1: cleaners for a personal space. She says they're expensive, but
Speaker 1: I think they're absolutely well worth it. We need to
Speaker 1: save our money quick. You go in there too, It's luxurious. Nah,
Speaker 1: I'm good, Carl. The back of your cloak looks as
Speaker 1: if it was used as a sanitary napkin. You need
Speaker 1: to get cleaned. That cracked me up a little bit, Crawler, Karl.
Speaker 1: I've been instructed to inform you you need to avail
Speaker 1: yourself of the cleaning facilities. You will be in the
Speaker 1: presence of Royalty on the panel and not presenting yourself
Speaker 1: properly is considered an insult. It's not that Maestro, asshole,
Speaker 1: is it? Prince Maestro has been stripped of his titles
Speaker 1: and disowned by his father. You guys. The howl that
Speaker 1: I let out when he said that, I she because
Speaker 1: they're calling her Daughna. I lost my mind. I was
Speaker 1: cracking up. Oh my god. We find out more about
Speaker 1: this later, obviously. Please step into the cleaner, okay, but
Speaker 1: I'm not getting naked, just clean the stuff people can see.
Speaker 1: The robot paused very well, she said. All I could
Speaker 1: think was like, is this the AI? Is this the
Speaker 1: AI inside the AI trying to get a look down
Speaker 1: his pants. Is that? What's going on here? AI? What
Speaker 1: are you up to? So they're also told that Mongo
Speaker 1: has to be in his pet carrier for the interview.
Speaker 1: They are at odds over this, but eventually Dona agrees
Speaker 1: as long as they agree to clean Mongo up before
Speaker 1: she puts him away. He does not like being cleaned
Speaker 1: it is. He eventually comes out, poofed up and smelling
Speaker 1: of lavender. I really appreciate the mention of poofed up
Speaker 1: because in my mental image I do not have him
Speaker 1: with feathers. I keep forgetting about the feathers, and I
Speaker 1: have to remember that he has them. So the mention
Speaker 1: of being poofed up. For a very split second, I
Speaker 1: was like, poofed? What's poofed on him? And then I
Speaker 1: was like, oh god, right, he's a bird basically. So
Speaker 1: they go out onto the stage and there are chairs
Speaker 1: with their names on it, and then this creature appears humanoid,
Speaker 1: but thin, about my height, white and hairless, oversized black eyes.
Speaker 1: A ridge grew from between his eyes and up over
Speaker 1: his head like a bony mohawk. He wore simple white clothes.
Speaker 1: His entire body glowed. When he walked, he drifted as
Speaker 1: if his feet didn't touch the ground and uh he Princess,
Speaker 1: Donut and Carl, Welcome to danger Zone, he said. His
Speaker 1: voice sounded like I would expect, airy and halting alien like. Hello,
Speaker 1: Where did lady to meet you? Donut said, are you ripper?
Speaker 1: Wantan No, Princess, My name is Evo. I am the
Speaker 1: program's director. I wanted to greet you too personally before
Speaker 1: we bring everyone else online. We will be live, not prerecorded.
Speaker 1: We have one other crawler with us tonight and she
Speaker 1: has already been briefed. She is sitting there at the
Speaker 1: moment and can't see you. What's the name of your race?
Speaker 1: I am a people called the Forsoothed. People generally call
Speaker 1: us soothers. We had a lot of fiction and movies
Speaker 1: about aliens, and a lot of them looked like you. Yes,
Speaker 1: it is interesting your culture showed the null more than us,
Speaker 1: but we have seen examples of our people in your
Speaker 1: historical records and media. I do not know how you
Speaker 1: latched onto our likeness. It is most likely one of
Speaker 1: my brethren visited your world in the past. Some of
Speaker 1: my people are odds makers, and they likely visited this
Speaker 1: planet to get a sample of the human stock in
Speaker 1: order to make predictions for the krawl. Visiting the planet
Speaker 1: except for official syndicate business was illegal, of course, but
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean it didn't happen. So alien abductions were
Speaker 1: really a thing. What about the probes, Donnut asked, I
Speaker 1: remember them talking about the probes on television. I assume
Speaker 1: you are talking about anal probes. Yes, we've heard about
Speaker 1: this as well. If that really happened, it was likely
Speaker 1: done by the null You called them the grays. They're
Speaker 1: a nasty, unpleasant race, perverts, all of them. This interaction
Speaker 1: cracked me up. I don't know why. This just got
Speaker 1: me so bad, just there being like different races of
Speaker 1: aliens that are like what we have seen, and them
Speaker 1: being like, yeah those hoes, dude, show we don't fuck
Speaker 1: with them. They're nasty. That is just so funny to me.
Speaker 1: So they sit down. We get some information of the
Speaker 1: people that are coming on here. Donadia, who is a
Speaker 1: Saccathian called Sax. We have heard them mentioned before by Zev.
Speaker 1: She is a powerful force in certain trade circles and
Speaker 1: outspoken under regular on the program, she is like a
Speaker 1: squid woman. Then there's a pudgy, fuzzy brown creature that
Speaker 1: looked like the result of a wombat slash e walk
Speaker 1: union and he he is of a race called Setanix.
Speaker 1: People mostly call them quacas, though I don't know if
Speaker 1: anybody out there may not know what a quaka is,
Speaker 1: but if you don't, I deeply implore you to go
Speaker 1: look it up. Q U O K k A and
Speaker 1: you will see one of the most adorable creatures that's
Speaker 1: ever walked the face of Earth. And they literally look
Speaker 1: like they're smiling as well. It's not just that they
Speaker 1: are so like their proportions are so cute, it's that
Speaker 1: their facial expression always has this like very sort of
Speaker 1: like amiable ChIL grin just the best. He will lead
Speaker 1: the conversation. He's only wearing an orange scarf like Fred
Speaker 1: from Scooby Doo. He is a good hearted gentleman despite
Speaker 1: his strong opinions. He will treat you fairly, but if
Speaker 1: he disagrees with your positions on anything, he will take
Speaker 1: you to task. And then we go to this other
Speaker 1: woman who has a cobra head and she is silver
Speaker 1: and black. Manassa, a famed singer she's a Naga, but
Speaker 1: don't worry. She's not of the Blood Sultanate, so you
Speaker 1: won't have to kill her when you hit the ninth floor.
Speaker 1: She's not really a naga either. The real Manassa perished
Speaker 1: long ago, but she contracted with the Valete Corporation to
Speaker 1: keep her career going once she died. So she has
Speaker 1: a worm in her brain driving her body. That is correct,
Speaker 1: and her career is hotter than ever. Her latest single
Speaker 1: is currently ranked eighth in the entire universe. The next
Speaker 1: chair held a middle aged human named Tucker, a stand
Speaker 1: up comedian. I dislike him already, based soley on the
Speaker 1: stupid grin on his holographic, unpunchable face. I am so sorry,
Speaker 1: my friends, but this is Tucker Carlson, right, this is
Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson, Like, unequivocally, I'm not reading into this, like
Speaker 1: we can all agree that's what he's doing, right with
Speaker 1: a guy that's like allegedly funny but also has like
Speaker 1: opinions on things that he doesn't know anything about and
Speaker 1: is very loud and talks over everybody, And it's just
Speaker 1: like now, granted, broken clock right twice a day. The
Speaker 1: recent interview between Tucker Carlson and my senator, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: what is his name? You guys, the Zodiac Killer that
Speaker 1: I really do support Tucker Carlson's whole approach, So every
Speaker 1: now and then I am on his side, which is
Speaker 1: just bewildering, But mostly he is just the worst little
Speaker 1: weenie that's ever on television. So I just want to
Speaker 1: make sure that we're all on the same page here,
Speaker 1: because that is like one hundred percent who I'm picturing
Speaker 1: this whole scene. So okay, Michael says, that was exactly
Speaker 1: what I thought the moment I read the name, like right,
Speaker 1: come on, okay, So and then we've got fucking Hecla,
Speaker 1: and I am so excited at the fact that, like
Speaker 1: they are stoked to see Hecla. Donut greets her and
Speaker 1: she calls Donut and Carl by name, so she clearly
Speaker 1: knows who they are also, which is wonderful. One of
Speaker 1: the daughters is near you. She recognized the circus from
Speaker 1: the episode and knows you're in the vicinity. She wants
Speaker 1: to come back to the team, but I believe we
Speaker 1: are too far away. She needs some help leveling. Will
Speaker 1: you assist her? I will take it as a personal favor,
Speaker 1: of course, Donut said, before I could respond, We'd love
Speaker 1: to help your friend. God damn it, Donut, I paused.
Speaker 1: Tell her to come to the one eyed narwhal tonight,
Speaker 1: I said, in the medium skyfall settlement. Settlement, But just
Speaker 1: an FYI, we're in the middle of something dangerous right now,
Speaker 1: and we won't be able to slow down to help her.
Speaker 1: We'll do what we can very well, Heckla said, a
Speaker 1: slight smile curled her lip. Just don't blow her up, Heckla,
Speaker 1: I love you. As soon as she said just don't
Speaker 1: blow her up, I was like, she got his number. Goddamn.
Speaker 1: So we open this like we have the moment of
Speaker 1: all of them together before the interview. We don't see
Speaker 1: the start of the interview, the introduction, or anything. We
Speaker 1: jumped directly into Midway Park through the conversation, where Tucker
Speaker 1: is saying, as much as I dislike the mud Skippers,
Speaker 1: I can't help but feel the valte have overstepped their
Speaker 1: push to take over the season. Aren't you supposed to
Speaker 1: be a comedian? When are you going to say something funny?
Speaker 1: The audience roared, See it's not that hard. Well, what's
Speaker 1: your opinion? On the matter, Princess donut. How the heck
Speaker 1: should I know? I'm a cat, but I do know
Speaker 1: this Butler. One, I know I don't know enough about
Speaker 1: this subject to voice a proper opinion on it, unlike you,
Speaker 1: who is obviously talking out of your behind. And two,
Speaker 1: I know my partner here has a very poor opinion
Speaker 1: of you. Isn't that right, Carl, yep I said you're
Speaker 1: a dipshit. Hekla laughed for the first time since this started. Guys,
Speaker 1: I'm calling it right now. Heckla wants to fuck Carl.
Speaker 1: Heckl is into him, and frankly, of course she is.
Speaker 1: Carl's the guy. He loves, his cat, would do anything,
Speaker 1: lay his life on the line versus cat competent. He's
Speaker 1: walking around in his underwear. Can't be bad owning his
Speaker 1: shit out here, making things happen, saying it like it
Speaker 1: is to everybody, but still playing it smart. I could
Speaker 1: see considering that the question comes up about her abandoning
Speaker 1: her husband and her saying he abandoned me he was
Speaker 1: gonna get us both killed. I think Hekla is looking
Speaker 1: for a guy who knows how to fucking like do
Speaker 1: things and one respect women. In their autonomy. But two
Speaker 1: is actually like good hearted and here comes a guy
Speaker 1: that probably is handling things in a manner that she
Speaker 1: wishes her husband had, and I am for it on record.
Speaker 1: I ship them with no further information necessary. I'm in it.
Speaker 1: Just wanted to put that out there. So you know,
Speaker 1: my name isn't Butler, Carl. You told me his name
Speaker 1: was Butler. It's Tucker Tucker. Are you sure? Next to me,
Speaker 1: I thought Princess Didnadia was having a stroke. She was
Speaker 1: laughing so hard it was clear she also did like
Speaker 1: this Tucker guy, this whole They just like fuck with
Speaker 1: him for a little while. It is honestly everything. I
Speaker 1: loved it so much. There was a short segment regarding
Speaker 1: multiple intergalactic affairs that neither I, Doughnut nor Hecla had
Speaker 1: much input on it. For most I had no idea
Speaker 1: what they were talking about. Even the audience seemed bored
Speaker 1: with the peace the issue Tucker had been opining about
Speaker 1: regarding the Valte Corporation and their attempt to collect their
Speaker 1: debt from the Boring system. All three of us Crawlers
Speaker 1: were smart enough not to say anything stupid about either
Speaker 1: Borran or the Valtae in case they did end up
Speaker 1: taking over the Crawl, which appeared to be highly unlikely.
Speaker 1: Manassa was on the side of the Valtae. Ripper and
Speaker 1: Princess Di Nadia seem to think both sides were dicks,
Speaker 1: but also sided with the Valte. Tucker was mostly on
Speaker 1: the side of the Kuwatine. So they then begin talking
Speaker 1: about the Skull Empire. The fact that the pork boy
Speaker 1: snick that was created really created some unrest, which is
Speaker 1: remarkable that something like this would just start to collapse
Speaker 1: an empire like that's bonkers. New calls for democratic reform
Speaker 1: were popping up in their systems. People took issue with
Speaker 1: the royal family spending so much time and money playing
Speaker 1: around with the Crawl and the faction war games while
Speaker 1: neglecting their duties back home. King rust had responded by
Speaker 1: disowning the Maestro and telling his people to shut the
Speaker 1: hell up. Ripper looked directly at me and asked me
Speaker 1: what I thought about it, And he thinks all it
Speaker 1: takes is a little seed, and then well, if his
Speaker 1: King Rusky treats his people like his son treats guests
Speaker 1: on his show, they should rebel. And he tells the
Speaker 1: story about the frog in the slowly heating water. I
Speaker 1: really know what's going on with their systems. I'm just
Speaker 1: a guy from a planet that thought we might all
Speaker 1: be alone. Then we got thrown in and had the
Speaker 1: lid slammed on us, so we don't have much of us. Say,
Speaker 1: but I'm kissing it's different for people who live under
Speaker 1: the Skull Empire. If it used to be okay, but
Speaker 1: it's not anymore, then do something about it. And don't
Speaker 1: compare your circumstances of how they were yesterday, look at
Speaker 1: how they were years ago. We're supposed to be making
Speaker 1: the world, the universe a better place for our children.
Speaker 1: If it's not better, if you're dealing with cruelty, with neglect,
Speaker 1: then you should do something about it. So yeah, fuck them,
Speaker 1: Fuck King Rust and his asshole child. If you're unhappy
Speaker 1: with your government, then kick them out and set up
Speaker 1: your own one that represents the people's best interests. You
Speaker 1: shouldn't have put up. You shouldn't have to put up
Speaker 1: with some loser who's going to take the people's money
Speaker 1: and waste it on gains, especially when those games entail
Speaker 1: killing people weaker than him with little or no real
Speaker 1: danger to himself. What a pussy, that's opinion. Nobody said
Speaker 1: anything For several moments. I was genuinely like, all right, Carl,
Speaker 1: you know I'm behind you and everything, but I really
Speaker 1: don't know if this was the way to handle this
Speaker 1: right now, Like this felt like a bad call. Tucker says,
Speaker 1: you probably don't know this, but openly using tunnels to
Speaker 1: advocate for systems sedition against a member of state is
Speaker 1: a crime. If that's true, then you're all in that
Speaker 1: same pot. I turned to look at the audience, all
Speaker 1: of you. If a government is afraid of what it's
Speaker 1: people say, then maybe there's a reason for it. Besides,
Speaker 1: what are they going to do? Throw me in the dungeon?
Speaker 1: Next to me, Princess Donadia started clapping and making trumpet
Speaker 1: noises with her tentacles. Hekla, who barely said anything this
Speaker 1: entire time, was looking directly at me. I couldn't read
Speaker 1: her expression. Her expression is I want to jump your bone.
Speaker 1: That's her expression. I can tell you right now. I
Speaker 1: don't need a decoder. I know if I were sitting
Speaker 1: here across from a man in this situation and he
Speaker 1: made that speech, I would be ready to straddle him
Speaker 1: in a moment, just no offens or. But it's about it.
Speaker 1: I know exactly what it's going through her mind. This
Speaker 1: is all assuming that she is straight, and even if
Speaker 1: she's not, still maybe a little bit wants to bone him.
Speaker 1: Even so, this happens sometimes, you know, sometimes attraction just
Speaker 1: overcomes gender and you're just like, it doesn't matter. They're
Speaker 1: hot enough that it doesn't even matter, And yeah, that's
Speaker 1: what's going on there. So just saying, also, I really
Speaker 1: trust the fact that Karl is so oblivious that a
Speaker 1: woman staring at him with like naked lust on her
Speaker 1: face that he wouldn't know how to read it. I
Speaker 1: just get the sense that he's like that oblivious, you
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, Like, you know, that's just me anyway.
Speaker 1: So most of the audience is approving, but not everybody,
Speaker 1: and they're looking around and Rippers in the middle of
Speaker 1: saying they did tell me you tend to leave this
Speaker 1: path of scorched earth wherever you go, and then all
Speaker 1: of a sudden, the cobra blinks in and out of
Speaker 1: existence and disappears. The cobra I'm imagining as somebody on
Speaker 1: the level of like Taylor Swift and we find out
Speaker 1: she has been killed. And can you imagine if there
Speaker 1: was a strike against somebody and it wound up killing
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift, what would happen to you, guys? I mean,
Speaker 1: it would be beyond belief. So I think this misstep
Speaker 1: is going to be a big problem, like a big problem.
Speaker 1: I think this is a bad move. Friends. So the
Speaker 1: whole studio moves and I immediately was like, they just
Speaker 1: attacked him over this. They literally attacked him. I was
Speaker 1: thinking maybe her connection went out for some reason, but
Speaker 1: I did not think that she was the target, which
Speaker 1: of course we find out she technically wasn't. But she
Speaker 1: wound up where they were supposed to be because she
Speaker 1: heard that they needed cleaning facilities and traded her green
Speaker 1: room so that they could use it. Poor Donut. Because
Speaker 1: of all of this rocking and everything she throws up,
Speaker 1: everybody is just trying to figure out what is happening.
Speaker 1: Ripper turns to the audience. I'm sorry about that. Something
Speaker 1: just happened on Earth's surface, and we're gathering information. In
Speaker 1: the meantime, let's go straight into the danger zone. And
Speaker 1: so this gives him some time to look into what's
Speaker 1: going on and the statement while the audience and the
Speaker 1: crawlers interact. So this is when we get the Hekla
Speaker 1: left her husband. He didn't leave me a choice. He
Speaker 1: was going to get us both killed. Now he's dead
Speaker 1: and I'm not. And do you regret it? Of course
Speaker 1: I do, thank you, the owl said Rolf. This question
Speaker 1: is for Karl. What's your most enjoyable way to kill?
Speaker 1: That's kind of a fucked up question. I said, I
Speaker 1: don't like killing. No, but you killed good. He does, doesn't,
Speaker 1: he said, donut. I guess I like it when it's simple, clean,
Speaker 1: a quick punch breaking their neck. Rolf made a fist
Speaker 1: in the air. This is good. Thank you. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, but that was so funny to me, like,
Speaker 1: you know, just the fact that he's immediately like, you know,
Speaker 1: that's not cool at all to even ask. But then
Speaker 1: the answer I kind of thought, Ralf maybe would be like, really,
Speaker 1: it's it being quick and clean, like lame. I thought
Speaker 1: it was going to be ripping the heart directly out
Speaker 1: of the lion, you know that kind of thing. But no,
Speaker 1: Ralph is like nice, perfect, something weirdly wholesome about it,
Speaker 1: even though it's about killing. So then we finally get
Speaker 1: Doughnut being asked about Ferdinand. He visited me often at night.
Speaker 1: We'd gaze upon each other across the wide expanse, and
Speaker 1: we both knew it was a love that couldn't be
Speaker 1: for we were star cross lovers. And he was hunted
Speaker 1: by the authorities. And we find out that he was
Speaker 1: this cat that would come around when she was in heat,
Speaker 1: and his name was Gravy Boat, and he evidently was
Speaker 1: like they had been trying to find him with animal
Speaker 1: control and were never able to catch him. So this
Speaker 1: when she says he was hunted by the authorities, that's
Speaker 1: what it was. Oh my god, this is so funny.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm sorry. I'm looking in the chat
Speaker 1: and Rob says, with the way the decade is going,
Speaker 1: Taylor Swift nuked from orbit, would not even face be
Speaker 1: to read in the headlines. Yeah, no joke. Huh. So
Speaker 1: then my question is also for Donah, is if b
Speaker 1: is alive and she shows up, are you really going
Speaker 1: to leave Carl for her? A chill washed over me.
Speaker 1: I looked sharply at Donut, who looked back up at
Speaker 1: me with a look of confusion on her face. When
Speaker 1: we reunite with miss Beatrice. We will all work together.
Speaker 1: It will be like before. Chappy seemed perplexed by her answer,
Speaker 1: surely you don't think Carl will want to stay with her?
Speaker 1: He turned his gaze to me, Carl, and he starts
Speaker 1: to say, we'll cross that bridge, and then Ripper interrupts,
Speaker 1: So they are saved from having this conversation. But it
Speaker 1: is very clear Donah is still not understanding the overall situation.
Speaker 1: First of all, she says, when we're reunited, so she
Speaker 1: has no doubt that Beatrice is still alive. Honestly, Doughnut's
Speaker 1: faith that she's still alive is the only reason that
Speaker 1: I might think she is like, I don't know, I
Speaker 1: really don't know, But I just the fact that she
Speaker 1: has been telling Carl about how much he's been cheated on.
Speaker 1: But she doesn't realize even still that what she has
Speaker 1: been telling him is that he is being cheated on.
Speaker 1: You know, she's describing that situation, but she doesn't understand
Speaker 1: the full impact of it, and that is very childlike.
Speaker 1: I am wondering when it's going to start to click
Speaker 1: for her. So this is when Ripper says, you saw
Speaker 1: our program interrupted and we have verification. This was because
Speaker 1: of a senseless pulse attack on a production asset housing
Speaker 1: our friend and frequent guest Manassa. I am sorry to
Speaker 1: say it appears she has perished in the attack, and
Speaker 1: the princess starts crying. There's more. In a tragic twist,
Speaker 1: it is apparent she was not the target. Simultaneous with
Speaker 1: the pulse, Ripper paused, unsuccessfully attempting to compose himself. His
Speaker 1: anger bubbled over into his voice. Prince Stalwart of the
Speaker 1: Skull Empire released the following statement. And when they see
Speaker 1: the orc, Karl immediately clocks that he's on the ninth
Speaker 1: floor already. By the time this message hits the tunnel,
Speaker 1: the Earth Creature's Carl and Doughnut will have been executed
Speaker 1: by a pulse fired from my personal yacht. The Skull
Speaker 1: Empire will pay for any damages to any private property
Speaker 1: destroyed in the attack. We are claiming under the Syndicate
Speaker 1: Rules regarding Independent Systems Sovereignty that this summary execution is
Speaker 1: both justified and appropriate, given Carl's statements advocating sedition. That
Speaker 1: is all the message off. They hit the wrong trailer.
Speaker 1: Tucker said he looked at us, his earlier snootiness was gone.
Speaker 1: He sounded in shock. It was meant for you. And
Speaker 1: Princess Donadia is like she was a friend of mine,
Speaker 1: Like I know that she was possessed by a worm,
Speaker 1: but still we had been friends for ages. And then
Speaker 1: says the Prism Kingdom officially condemns this action, and we
Speaker 1: will be filing an immediate grievous with the Syndicate Court.
Speaker 1: The Valtae and the Skull Empire are strong allies, Tucker said,
Speaker 1: surely they'll see this as a tragic accident. Do you
Speaker 1: know how much money Manassa brings in for the Valtae
Speaker 1: each year? Represent those idiots? Stupid, stupid. She was a treasure.
Speaker 1: People think their technological sector brings in the most, but
Speaker 1: that's not true, not even close. It's their entertainment assets.
Speaker 1: They just murdered her. I felt a sudden wave of
Speaker 1: anger wash over me. Now you're outraged when it was
Speaker 1: your friend. The cognitive dissonance was just overwhelming. I didn't
Speaker 1: dare say it out loud, But what the hell they
Speaker 1: destroyed us, destroyed our planet and one poorly shot missile
Speaker 1: or whatever the hell it was, and suddenly it's a tragedy.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, fuck you all, Carl Doughnuts said concern to
Speaker 1: her voice. Karl, if they know they hit the wrong trailer,
Speaker 1: will they shoot at us again? Maybe we should go.
Speaker 1: Ripper looked at us and waved at us. It's okay,
Speaker 1: You're okay, It's just Dana. I'm getting word now. The
Speaker 1: Valtae are claiming one of their dreadnoughts in Earth orbit
Speaker 1: has destroyed the Prince Stalwart's yacht. Again. The Valtae are
Speaker 1: claiming to have destroyed a skull Empire Royal vessel. From
Speaker 1: the message, it is clear Stalwart was not on board
Speaker 1: at the time, but it is rumored that both Quick
Speaker 1: Concert a Glue a Glue and former Prince Maestro were
Speaker 1: on board. D they killed the Queen and her son.
Speaker 1: Oh shit, we've got an international incident here, intergalactic incident.
Speaker 1: I don't even know how you would call this interplanetary incident.
Speaker 1: It's a deal. It's a whole thing, that is Uh
Speaker 1: what war was it that started with like a shot
Speaker 1: and I think in for no, oh my god, Franz
Speaker 1: Ferdinand right anyway, I'm not I'm over time. I can't
Speaker 1: get into this, Okay, Uh, Tucker says so much for
Speaker 1: their alliance that weakens Valte's position on the bankruptcy action.
Speaker 1: Shut the fuck up, Tucker, by the gods are friend
Speaker 1: has been murdered. Wait did he see the Maestro is dead? Karl?
Speaker 1: Did you hear that? I heard? Donut? As Ripper continued
Speaker 1: to breathlessly repeat everything that had happened, I mid eyes
Speaker 1: with Hecla, who continued to sit quietly a rock in
Speaker 1: the storm. She studied me curiously. Is this how it
Speaker 1: always is with you? Too? Then she asked, what was it?
Speaker 1: He said, scorched earth. I nodded. I put my hand
Speaker 1: on Donut with a little bit of chaos thrown in,
Speaker 1: I said, I am telling you she wants it bad.
Speaker 1: I can't help it. I know what I know. So yeah,
Speaker 1: very very exciting couple of chapters. I was desperate to
Speaker 1: read more, but as we can see, it was for
Speaker 1: the best. I appreciate Michael going in and resetting the
Speaker 1: amount of chapters that I was covering each episode, because
Speaker 1: a bitch talks a lot, a lot a lot. But yeah,
Speaker 1: the fact that Maestro is dead, I am wondering if
Speaker 1: anything is going to change with the uh, well, I
Speaker 1: was saying that I thought the Maestro was behind the
Speaker 1: radicalization of the city Elves, and now I'm starting to
Speaker 1: wonder if it maybe was the Skull Empire overall behind
Speaker 1: the radicalization of the city Elves and it isn't actually
Speaker 1: just the Maestro specifically. It'll be interesting to see if
Speaker 1: the city Elves keep coming at them, or if the
Speaker 1: death of the Maestro would make it so that this
Speaker 1: all falls apart, or with the death of the Maestro
Speaker 1: somehow support whatever lie and make them come at them
Speaker 1: even harder. I just I don't know if there's actually
Speaker 1: any link there or not. So if there is a
Speaker 1: change in the way this all is working, then that
Speaker 1: will either that will signal to me that maybe it
Speaker 1: is relevant, and if there's no change whatsoever in the
Speaker 1: way the city Elves behave that I'm going to assume
Speaker 1: it's unrelated to the Skull Empire entirely. So we'll see,
Speaker 1: we'll see. But yeah, I really really enjoyed these chapters,
Speaker 1: so I am looking forward to next week. I'm probably
Speaker 1: gonna listen to the next chapters right away. So thank
Speaker 1: you guys again for hanging out with me. I appreciate
Speaker 1: you a lot, and I will be seeing you soon.
Speaker 1: Until next time, Tulalu motherfuckers. That was an unspoiled network podcast.
Speaker 1: Y