WEBVTT

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, hey, hey, I'm bad with something for you to

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<v Speaker 1>think about.

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<v Speaker 2>Happy New Year everyone, Today, I wanna talk about people

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<v Speaker 2>who feel it's necessary to dumb themselves down.

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<v Speaker 1>For other people.

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<v Speaker 2>Individuals who feel it is necessary to dumb themselves down.

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<v Speaker 1>For other people.

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<v Speaker 2>You wanna dumb yourself down while you pump someone else up.

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<v Speaker 2>It makes no sense. What that does is truly tell

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<v Speaker 2>you what you think of yourself. But unfortunately, people don't

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<v Speaker 2>have the mindset to graft step, especially in their relationships.

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<v Speaker 2>They think that they're supposed to.

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<v Speaker 1>Do all of these things.

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<v Speaker 2>For the guy or the woman that they're with, to

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<v Speaker 2>push them pump them up, but they get none of

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<v Speaker 2>that in return.

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<v Speaker 1>People think it's the proper way to love.

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<v Speaker 2>People think the proper way to love is to let

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<v Speaker 2>people be little and degrade them. It is not.

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<v Speaker 1>Everything you do.

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<v Speaker 2>That you shouldn't do, or that you should do and

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<v Speaker 2>you don't tells you about yourself. It tells you what

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<v Speaker 2>type of person you are, whether you believe it or not.

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<v Speaker 2>It tells you so much important information about yourself.

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<v Speaker 1>But most people do not understand it.

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<v Speaker 2>They just think it's life, it's coincident, it's just the

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<v Speaker 2>way it is. No everything you do or don't do,

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<v Speaker 2>what you accept, what you allow, The choices and decisions

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<v Speaker 2>you make tells you about who you are as a person.

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<v Speaker 2>Whether you do it subtle you know subtle, whether you

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<v Speaker 2>do it openly or whether you try to hide undercover

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<v Speaker 2>and do it, it tells you about who you are.

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<v Speaker 2>Millions of people could grow if they were in tune

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<v Speaker 2>with self, if they had the mindset to be aware

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<v Speaker 2>and mindful of how they think, how they feel, how

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<v Speaker 2>they act. But most people just mosey through life on autopilot,

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<v Speaker 2>not paying attention to the things that they do. They

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<v Speaker 2>don't pay attention to when they go through something, how

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<v Speaker 2>they do not allow themselves to learn from their experiences.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why most people in the world continue to be broken.

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<v Speaker 2>I know the truth hurts, but I don't know nothing

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<v Speaker 2>else to give you other than the truth. It does

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<v Speaker 2>not matter matter how bad the lives of people can be.

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<v Speaker 2>Most people will not change because to most people, it's

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<v Speaker 2>always the other person to blame. Always people are not

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<v Speaker 2>being accountable and responsible for their own lives, so they

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<v Speaker 2>go through life more concerned about the lives of other people,

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<v Speaker 2>their significant others, and.

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<v Speaker 1>Other people trying to please and appease.

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<v Speaker 2>While their lives fall apart or while they remain stagnant.

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<v Speaker 2>People get into relationships and they completely forget about self.

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<v Speaker 1>They forget about their ambition, their.

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<v Speaker 2>Goals, their dreams to try to push and pump up

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<v Speaker 2>who they're with, only for there are a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>people to end up being totally taken for granted, used, abused,

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<v Speaker 2>and you name it because the other person gained what

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<v Speaker 2>they're looking for and dump you to the curve or

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<v Speaker 2>alienate you. But you wasted all the years, the time,

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<v Speaker 2>the energy trying to pump up that individual or push

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<v Speaker 2>that individual when they didn't really care about you the

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<v Speaker 2>way you cared about them.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to be.

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<v Speaker 2>Cognizant of what you are doing, what you are allowing

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<v Speaker 2>and accepting from other people. I don't care who they are.

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<v Speaker 2>Any person will treat you exactly how you have taught

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<v Speaker 2>them to treat you or a significant other. Whether it's

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<v Speaker 2>your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your child,

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<v Speaker 2>your parents, your siblings, other relatives, friends and other people,

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<v Speaker 2>they will treat you.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly how you have taught them to treat you.

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<v Speaker 2>They will play the role you have put them in.

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<v Speaker 2>You have allowed them to be in It's just.

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<v Speaker 1>Reality.

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<v Speaker 2>Now. I know a lot of people's realities are distorted,

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<v Speaker 2>but the truth is always the truth, no matter how

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<v Speaker 2>you look at it, it's always the truth.

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<v Speaker 1>Far too many people.

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<v Speaker 2>Go through life just acting clueless, just because they want

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<v Speaker 2>to be a part of something.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think.

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<v Speaker 2>About, well, a few years ago, I even told you

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<v Speaker 2>about a story about myself where I used to sing

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<v Speaker 2>in this gospel group and when I was leading a song,

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<v Speaker 2>I never really put into it what.

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<v Speaker 1>God gave me.

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<v Speaker 2>Because I didn't want the other person to think I

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<v Speaker 2>was trying to steal the spotlight because.

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<v Speaker 1>The other person was the main leader, so.

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't give it my all, which shame on me.

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<v Speaker 1>For the other person.

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<v Speaker 2>But after I realized what I was doing, I asked

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<v Speaker 2>for a forgiveness from God, because God gave me the talent.

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<v Speaker 1>And I should let my light shine like.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyone and everyone else. But I was much much much

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<v Speaker 2>younger than and I know better now, but I've never

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<v Speaker 2>experienced that in a relationship with a significant other. But

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of people do go through it. A lot

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<v Speaker 2>of people go through it on their jobs, putting people

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<v Speaker 2>up on pedestals who don't belong. They're number one and

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<v Speaker 2>number two who have nothing good for you. All they

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<v Speaker 2>want is to use you for what they can get next.

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<v Speaker 1>You're their stepping stone.

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<v Speaker 2>Until people mature and no self love self.

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<v Speaker 1>They're gonna keep marching right into twenty twenty six.

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<v Speaker 2>That is now here, the very same carrying the same baggage,

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<v Speaker 2>unhealed hearts and minds, insecurities, depression, anxiety, all kinds of things.

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<v Speaker 2>People don't realize that a lot of your mental conditions

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<v Speaker 2>come from the lifestyles.

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<v Speaker 1>That you lead.

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<v Speaker 2>Because the majority of people, and I've said this before,

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<v Speaker 2>the majority of people who have mental health issues was

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<v Speaker 2>not born that way. They developed them out of some

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<v Speaker 2>type of experience and because of the lifestyles that they leave.

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<v Speaker 2>When you show your vulnerability to your significant others and

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<v Speaker 2>other people, you fail yourself. Because one thing for sure is.

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<v Speaker 1>People can see exactly for what you show them.

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<v Speaker 2>You show your vulnerabilities by how you let people treat you.

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<v Speaker 1>They know more about what you think of yourself than you.

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<v Speaker 2>So let me go back to what I'm the title

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<v Speaker 2>or the subject at hand. When you dumb yourself down

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<v Speaker 2>to pump someone else up, to push someone or whatever

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<v Speaker 2>it may be, while you stay stagnant and not appreciate

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<v Speaker 2>it and take it for granted. It tells you who

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<v Speaker 2>you are as a person. It tells you that you

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<v Speaker 2>have work to do within yourself. And I get it

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<v Speaker 2>because again, at one point in my life, I did it.

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<v Speaker 2>But I've always told you I learned from every experience.

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<v Speaker 2>And when I realized what I was doing, because I

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<v Speaker 2>was looking at the way other people were receiving me

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<v Speaker 2>and wanted me to be out front more, and I

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<v Speaker 2>realized what I was doing to myself, and I stopped.

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<v Speaker 2>I changed. I also left that group, but I've never

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<v Speaker 2>allowed myself to be in that situation again. Because people

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<v Speaker 2>will feed on your weaknesses period, because some individuals show

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<v Speaker 2>how eager, willing.

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<v Speaker 1>And desperate they are to please and appease.

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<v Speaker 2>So when you do that, the people you're doing it

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<v Speaker 2>for will feed off of you, zap your energy, your time,

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<v Speaker 2>your resources.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, it's true, without blinking an eye.

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<v Speaker 2>So the moral of this episode is you have to

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<v Speaker 2>have faith in yourself. You must know yourself, you must

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<v Speaker 2>love yourself, and you must be able to see when

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<v Speaker 2>you are neglecting yourself for others.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I talk.

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<v Speaker 2>About being selfish, being selfless, Well, when you neglect yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>That's being selfish to yourself. When you are selfless to

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<v Speaker 2>a point of distress, meaning you will do anything, in everything,

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<v Speaker 2>you never say no, that's being selfish to yourself. Because

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<v Speaker 2>when you don't know and love yourself and you don't

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<v Speaker 2>take care of yourself, you.

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<v Speaker 1>Are the one who hurt the most.

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<v Speaker 2>You are the one who hurt the most, and some

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<v Speaker 2>of you you become so angry, so mad, so sad,

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<v Speaker 2>just full of hurt on top of the unresolved pain

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<v Speaker 2>you already experienced. That's why people break down. When you

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<v Speaker 2>feel that you gotta keep pumping someone else up. You

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<v Speaker 2>gotta stop believing in yourself because you're exalting all of

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<v Speaker 2>your energy, are exerting all of your energy into who

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<v Speaker 2>you're with.

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<v Speaker 1>You're your own problem.

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<v Speaker 2>How many times have I told you that if a

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<v Speaker 2>person and I don't care who the person is, if

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<v Speaker 2>they don't enhance your life.

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<v Speaker 1>You need to rethink it.

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<v Speaker 2>Too many people get into relationships with individuals who do

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<v Speaker 2>not enhance their lives. They do the complete opposite, and

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<v Speaker 2>then you think the relationship is going to work when

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<v Speaker 2>all you're doing.

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<v Speaker 1>Is struggling.

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<v Speaker 2>Every day, struggling, trying to maintain a relationship that has

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<v Speaker 2>no foundation.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you ever seen a house without a foundation.

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<v Speaker 2>It's impossible, but many people are trying to make their

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<v Speaker 2>relationships work with no foundation.

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<v Speaker 1>If you have to give up yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>To love, please, and appease someone else, baby, you've chosen wrong.

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<v Speaker 1>They chose right when they picked you, but you chose

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<v Speaker 1>wrong because the other person don't care.

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<v Speaker 2>If they're out to get whatever they're trying to get,

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<v Speaker 2>they don't care because they have a mission, they have

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<v Speaker 2>an agenda. So when you dumb yourself down, or when

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<v Speaker 2>you neglect yourself for who you're with, you're the one

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<v Speaker 2>who's going to end up on the short end of

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<v Speaker 2>the stick. Every single time. People will drain you completely dry.

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<v Speaker 2>They will milk you completely dry if you allow it.

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<v Speaker 2>I've talked to so many people when I was providing counsel,

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<v Speaker 2>and I've talked to so many people who gave up

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<v Speaker 2>so much of themselves, of their dreams and goals for

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<v Speaker 2>who they were with, only to be.

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<v Speaker 1>Treated like dogs.

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<v Speaker 2>Who they were with became doctors, lawyers, all of these

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<v Speaker 2>prominent people, only to leave them in the dust. They

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<v Speaker 2>no longer mattered because they got from them what they wanted.

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<v Speaker 1>I even know people who married.

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<v Speaker 2>Individuals in the military to take advantage of the benefits.

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<v Speaker 1>And once they obtained what they was trying to get,

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<v Speaker 1>dump them.

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<v Speaker 2>That's why you you you you. You must be aware

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<v Speaker 2>of what's going on.

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<v Speaker 1>In your relationships.

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<v Speaker 2>You must be aware of what's going on around you,

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<v Speaker 2>on your jobs, wherever you go, you must be aware

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<v Speaker 2>of what's going on because when you act as if

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<v Speaker 2>you don't know, people take advantage. People take advantage period

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<v Speaker 2>People hold themselves back so much in order to push

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<v Speaker 2>their significant others, and a lot of people never go back,

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<v Speaker 2>never go back to complete their dreams and their goals

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<v Speaker 2>and their ambitions.

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<v Speaker 1>It's sad. It's very sad.

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<v Speaker 2>Because if you're with someone, you shouldn't have to give

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<v Speaker 2>up your dreams, your goals, your ambitions to support someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>You can still support the other person and still maintain

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<v Speaker 2>your own goals, dreams, and ambitions. If you don't know how,

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<v Speaker 2>that tells you something about yourself. Some people get married

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<v Speaker 2>and their spouses don't want them to work, and you

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<v Speaker 2>just go along with it. Most times it's because people

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to work anyways. But when you don't have

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<v Speaker 2>your own when you're not making your own money, it

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<v Speaker 2>becomes a problem for you eventually.

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<v Speaker 1>When you don't have your own it means you are.

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<v Speaker 2>Now an individual who have to depend on someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>That's not good, especially when the person you're depending on

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<v Speaker 2>is not a good person, have no good intentions. Really,

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<v Speaker 2>it poses a problem in your life eventually.

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<v Speaker 1>Some people have signs of red.

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<v Speaker 2>Flags right away, but they ignore them because they want

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<v Speaker 2>who they want.

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<v Speaker 1>They allow their desires.

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<v Speaker 2>Their wants, their emotions, their feelings, what their eyes see

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<v Speaker 2>to trump what's right in their face. It's something that

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<v Speaker 2>people really don't understand that's happening in their relationships or

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<v Speaker 2>in their lives because they don't have eyes to see.

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<v Speaker 2>That mindset has crippled and statnated many many.

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<v Speaker 1>People around the globe. So it's a new day.

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<v Speaker 2>New year, which means a new chance to become the

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<v Speaker 2>best you possible for yourself, not for anyone else, for yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>Because when you do, I promise you your eyes will open.

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<v Speaker 2>You would think, feel and act differently. People around you

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<v Speaker 2>may not like it, but they don't have to stop

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<v Speaker 2>feeding into people who are not feeding into you, pouring

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<v Speaker 2>into people who are not pouring into you. Breathing life

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<v Speaker 2>into people who's suffocating you, straining the life out of you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time to wake up. You can't be the best

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<v Speaker 2>that you can be by making everything and everyone else

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<v Speaker 2>more important than yourself, because all that does is keep

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<v Speaker 2>you where you've always been, stagnant and stuck.

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<v Speaker 1>So going forth, it's time for healing.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time for you to allow inner healing in your life.

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<v Speaker 2>It's time to forgive and move on, because forgiveness is

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<v Speaker 2>for you.

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<v Speaker 1>It will take.

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<v Speaker 2>Forgiveness for you to grow and to mature. I hope

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<v Speaker 2>you get it. I hope you understand. I hope you

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<v Speaker 2>receive it. I'm leaving it right there. Happy New Year,

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you for listening.

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<v Speaker 1>Much more.

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<v Speaker 2>To each and every one of you. I pray you

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<v Speaker 2>are prosperous, blessed.

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<v Speaker 1>New Year.

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<v Speaker 2>Change starts with only you. Please share this episode. I

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<v Speaker 2>end all episodes the same, and I hope and I

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<v Speaker 2>pray you do it.

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<v Speaker 1>Think on it.