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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Sorry for Asking.

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<v Speaker 2>Sorry for Asking.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm Cole Connor and I'm Adam Ramsey. This is where

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<v Speaker 3>we talk, shop, ask questions, tell stories, and laugh and

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<v Speaker 3>laughs about being creators as well.

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<v Speaker 1>As consumers of adult content.

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<v Speaker 2>He love watching too, we certainly do.

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<v Speaker 3>We also discussed the impact adult films have had on us,

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<v Speaker 3>on our guests, and on the LGBTQ community.

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<v Speaker 1>So strap on and strap in.

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<v Speaker 2>And here we go. Hello, and welcome back to Sorry

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<v Speaker 2>for Asking. Hi. I'm Cole Connor and I'm Adam Ramsey.

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<v Speaker 3>Without about an introduction or anything, well we didn't, he

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<v Speaker 3>did himself. Well, the surprise is out. Yes, we have

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<v Speaker 3>Hayden Harding here with us. He's he's everywhere, all at once.

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<v Speaker 4>Everything everywhere on the present, Yes, and so quickly. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 4>we're gonna get into all of that. Hi, you guys

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<v Speaker 4>is Hateen Harding.

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<v Speaker 2>Yay. I don't even know how it happened.

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<v Speaker 4>I met you at a party two years ago, and

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<v Speaker 4>then all of a sudden you were just everywhere in

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<v Speaker 4>my life, on my feed, among my friends.

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<v Speaker 2>You know.

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<v Speaker 3>I have to say he did do a lot of

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<v Speaker 3>collabing with me at the beginning.

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<v Speaker 5>I did so much to the point where you're the

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<v Speaker 5>gate I can't film with col anymore.

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<v Speaker 4>Cole, do you feel like you're like a gateway these days?

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<v Speaker 4>Like for a lot of these these the new kids, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Feel like I when I film, it's usually with people

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<v Speaker 3>coming through LA film with a lot of people, even

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<v Speaker 3>host people I.

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<v Speaker 2>Have, and then they stay too long. Yeah I remember names.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, but it's I mean, you've been there, You've

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<v Speaker 3>seen it happen, and I've.

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<v Speaker 2>Seen I think two and then more than just you. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>they usually I'm not the only one that happens.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, but uh so it's kind of your fault because no,

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<v Speaker 5>but it happens not learning.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I spoke about this with my therapist and I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I need to be clear with my boundaries because even

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<v Speaker 3>if I say something like you can stay two nights,

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<v Speaker 3>but you got to go Sunday, if I say it

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<v Speaker 3>with a smile, they don't.

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<v Speaker 2>Really hear it.

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<v Speaker 5>So just stating back to be forcing you to be

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<v Speaker 5>like yeah, so that they're like, this was the agreement,

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<v Speaker 5>this is what I said.

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<v Speaker 2>People want to hear.

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<v Speaker 3>People hear what they want to hear, you know, So

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<v Speaker 3>like if if they're like, Okay, he means I can

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<v Speaker 3>stay for like a couple of days. I'm sure he

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<v Speaker 3>doesn't care if it's one more day. Yeah, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>but I do, he does, he does.

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<v Speaker 5>You guys, they're rigid boundaries, not they're not porous.

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<v Speaker 2>Rigid not porous.

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<v Speaker 4>Porest boundaries means that like oh yes, yeah, no, I'm

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<v Speaker 4>I'm very familiar with my habit of porous boundaries.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, how do you feel you Wow, you can actually

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<v Speaker 5>see right through your your support.

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<v Speaker 3>I mean, how do you feel about your boundaries? Do

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<v Speaker 3>you feel like horrible?

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<v Speaker 5>You're horrible horrible hoo horrible, horrible, horrible boundaries they're getting

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<v Speaker 5>more and more rigid or I want to say balance,

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<v Speaker 5>like closer to the It takes some work to actually

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<v Speaker 5>my patience is just wearing thinner and thinner. Well, you're

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<v Speaker 5>very busy, Yeah, you're very trying to keep myself busy.

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<v Speaker 5>I mean, lately I feel like I haven't been busy enough.

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<v Speaker 2>Is that true? But I still am.

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<v Speaker 5>Like the one thing I just can't stand is when

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<v Speaker 5>people don't respect my time.

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<v Speaker 2>Like people, especially people like in the industry. There's two

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<v Speaker 2>types of people.

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<v Speaker 5>Those that do it because they're really good at what

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<v Speaker 5>they do and like, I know, they're.

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<v Speaker 2>Made for it. And then there's people that do it

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<v Speaker 2>because they can't do anything.

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<v Speaker 5>Else and they want attention and they want attention or

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<v Speaker 5>like their face is just pretty enough and they don't

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<v Speaker 5>want to get a real job, so.

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<v Speaker 2>They do porn.

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<v Speaker 4>Wait, no, no, I want to unpack all of it.

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<v Speaker 4>We usually try to start at the beginning, but let's

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<v Speaker 4>start in the present. It seems like maybe today you

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<v Speaker 4>had an experience where your time was not respected.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I mean it's not us.

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<v Speaker 5>I guess like I have like like a threshold for

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<v Speaker 5>like how many things I can take in a week,

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<v Speaker 5>and it's like this person canceled, this person canceled, this

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<v Speaker 5>person canceled, And I'm about to have a hair transplant in Turkey,

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<v Speaker 5>so I'm trying to build a bunch of content before

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<v Speaker 5>that too, you know, to make sure I have my

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<v Speaker 5>workload schedule eyebrows and there.

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<v Speaker 2>No, oh my god, no, it slipped.

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<v Speaker 5>But yeah, but I'm gonna be out of work for like,

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<v Speaker 5>right at least a month, if not two or three.

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<v Speaker 5>And even if I jump back in it, it might not

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<v Speaker 5>be very good because it'll be fine. Yeah, Well we'll

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<v Speaker 5>see who knows.

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<v Speaker 3>Well, you can always wear a hat, but I know

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<v Speaker 3>people that have that have had that done and then

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<v Speaker 3>they just they wear a hat for all their Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>they just say.

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<v Speaker 5>Like it's not the best for you to wear a

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<v Speaker 5>hat afterwards making it a successful surgery. But yeah, but anyways,

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<v Speaker 5>so I've been trying to get a lot of content

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<v Speaker 5>in a very short amount of time, and this last week,

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<v Speaker 5>my roommate was out of town, and so it was like, perfect,

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<v Speaker 5>I have a place to myself, I can use the

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<v Speaker 5>living room which has like beautiful natural light, and like

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<v Speaker 5>what I want to do or what I want to use,

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<v Speaker 5>And so I scheduled just shit tone of the collabs

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<v Speaker 5>in that time. And then it's just like one thing

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<v Speaker 5>after another happened where it's like, oh, the sales has

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<v Speaker 5>to get rescheduled.

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<v Speaker 2>This all has to get rescheduled.

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<v Speaker 5>And so now I'm kind of just like, Okay, I've.

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<v Speaker 2>Took too much work on the first time.

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<v Speaker 5>So it's like anyone that's canceling for a reason that

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<v Speaker 5>I think is like kind of bullshit, Like I'm I

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<v Speaker 5>just don't want to get up and work today. Like

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like, okay, well, yeah we can reschedule, but you

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<v Speaker 5>can host, and you can find the cameraman, and you

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<v Speaker 5>can pay for.

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<v Speaker 2>All of it.

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<v Speaker 5>And I just like, I guess I kind of like like, okay,

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<v Speaker 5>if I'll put an equal effort. So I'm like, if

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<v Speaker 5>you show me that you're willing to put in some

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<v Speaker 5>effort and like put some commitment behind it, then it's

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<v Speaker 5>like then we'll go again, or like or then I'll then.

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<v Speaker 4>We'll you know, why is this such a common story lately,

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<v Speaker 4>Like the last minute cancelations, I feel like.

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<v Speaker 2>I hear it all.

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<v Speaker 5>I think it's the people that just don't They are

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<v Speaker 5>just in this because they don't want to work, and like, man,

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<v Speaker 5>just like the last few months.

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<v Speaker 4>I just feel like I've been hearing a lot of

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<v Speaker 4>stories from friends of mine who are content creators who

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<v Speaker 4>were just like, oh, well got canceled on again today.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just like constant cancelations.

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<v Speaker 5>I mean there's people that like will also way over

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<v Speaker 5>book themselves in like you know, like from that, but

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<v Speaker 5>then also people will do it in preparation of cancelations.

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<v Speaker 5>So like some guy will be visiting Los Angeles for

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<v Speaker 5>one week and schedule three collapse a day knowing that

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<v Speaker 5>two will cancel. Wow, and then if all three go through,

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<v Speaker 5>then he'll cancel fucking exhausted.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>I the last actually, the only time I can think

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<v Speaker 3>of that I canceled was the guy that was from

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<v Speaker 3>out of town and I knew he had a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of stuff going on anyway, and I was just like,

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<v Speaker 3>I'm not going to I mean, I'm.

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<v Speaker 2>Guilty of it too.

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<v Speaker 5>I've canceled, but like I feel like I could count

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<v Speaker 5>the number of times in one hand. Yeah, like one hand,

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<v Speaker 5>and they're always like good, Like if I have an STI,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm not gonna film with you, please don't everyone.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean the s c I is often I've heard

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<v Speaker 4>an excuse, Yeah, like a not real one, one of.

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<v Speaker 5>That people use really easy think about.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like you got to tell it to one person.

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<v Speaker 3>You gotta tell either way you're a human, and then

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<v Speaker 3>you gotta and then you gotta wait.

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<v Speaker 2>If it's a lie, then you still have to do

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<v Speaker 2>the whether you're lying about having it or you're spreading it,

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<v Speaker 2>are all just horrible people. Sorry, still lie about us.

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<v Speaker 5>Just don't lie and make your commitments, show up on time,

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<v Speaker 5>prep be ready to work, or just know yourself and

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<v Speaker 5>don't overbook yourself.

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<v Speaker 2>If you know that, you're like, you're not doing to

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<v Speaker 2>in one day. You used to though, right, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Have on like a content trip, but I don't usually

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<v Speaker 3>if I've never really I'm on a trip to in

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<v Speaker 3>one days to breezy, I could do one a day

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<v Speaker 3>for a long stretch. Yeah, but even that's too.

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<v Speaker 2>Much for me.

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<v Speaker 5>I mean, if I'm if I'm in another city where

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like not doing anything else and that I get bored,

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<v Speaker 5>I'm like, okay, i could do three a day, but

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<v Speaker 5>I'm going to space them out, or I'm gonna do

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<v Speaker 5>no time.

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<v Speaker 2>I know, there's different ways.

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<v Speaker 3>Else, if you're verse, you can be like I can

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<v Speaker 3>have a topping scene and then a bottoming scene.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes exactly. So I'm going to London and one of them.

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<v Speaker 5>Is like, Okay, these three guys are all very close

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<v Speaker 5>to each other.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to film back to back with all three

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<v Speaker 2>of them. I kind of like, that's one douche.

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<v Speaker 3>I'd rather put them all together and do a hot Yeah.

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<v Speaker 5>I'll do that too, you know, but then sometimes they

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<v Speaker 5>want separate, so those so it's kind of like you

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<v Speaker 5>do like I'd rather than throw them all together in

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<v Speaker 5>one shoot and get it all over done with with.

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<v Speaker 3>William c It and Malik Delgatti that I went downtown

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<v Speaker 3>for them to do like a three way, and then

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<v Speaker 3>they both wanted two. I was like, I'll do one

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<v Speaker 3>with William, but I don't have enough in me for two.

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<v Speaker 3>For getting yeah, because I have one with I've done

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<v Speaker 3>a duo with him already and he was on there.

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<v Speaker 3>He was wearing condoms at the time, so I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>I don't need another Condra Cass.

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<v Speaker 4>I want to talk about you, okay, because I met

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<v Speaker 4>you at a party, Yes, okay, Well, I don't know

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<v Speaker 4>much about you. I know that we like you, know,

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<v Speaker 4>I fucking love you as a person, but it's only

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<v Speaker 4>because I know you for the last two and a

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<v Speaker 4>half years. We met at a party through our friend Colin,

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<v Speaker 4>and you're just so sweet and positive and bubbly. I

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<v Speaker 4>think drama kind of follows you, but I don't know

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<v Speaker 4>that side of you very much.

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<v Speaker 2>I just know you to be a very positive and

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<v Speaker 2>happy person.

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<v Speaker 4>And then it was like, once you plugged yourself into

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<v Speaker 4>the adult film gay adult film world, you were just

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<v Speaker 4>like always working and so like what I like to work.

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<v Speaker 4>I like to be busy, like in general, you're like

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<v Speaker 4>a work in general.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, like I get restless, had a job at the

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<v Speaker 2>times you still I had a day job. You don't

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<v Speaker 2>do not anymore. Do you want to talk about that

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<v Speaker 2>decision process?

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<v Speaker 3>Well, because I feel like you got really I feel

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<v Speaker 3>like you started traveling more and stuff when that well, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>so once that ended, then that's like my boyfriend travels

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<v Speaker 3>all the time for work, and he does this too,

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<v Speaker 3>but it's but not as much as me.

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<v Speaker 5>He has like a full time, full time job, and

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<v Speaker 5>so when he travels, like I feel my time to

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<v Speaker 5>make sure I'm like just as busy as him, except

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<v Speaker 5>mine's like all sex work are like all collaborations or photos.

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<v Speaker 2>Like when you travel together.

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<v Speaker 5>You mean, yeah, so he'll be he'll be doing his

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<v Speaker 5>like full time job job, and then I'll be just

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<v Speaker 5>doing a bunch of collabs. So it's kind of because

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<v Speaker 5>some of it comes from that, like just trying to

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<v Speaker 5>fill time, but also it's like trying to take advantage

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<v Speaker 5>of being in a different place and like work with

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<v Speaker 5>other creators in those locations.

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<v Speaker 2>But you started in studios, right, I started in studio

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<v Speaker 2>through my neighbors.

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<v Speaker 4>Our mutual friends, Okay, yes, Lee, and then known as

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<v Speaker 4>Levi on Sean Cody s Coty, who got involved.

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<v Speaker 2>In all this.

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<v Speaker 3>When was the first time, yea a Shawan Coty. It

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<v Speaker 3>was like a year or two ago, two years, two years,

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<v Speaker 3>two and a half years maybe, And I met you

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<v Speaker 3>right before you went to Europe in August of last year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>so you've done.

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<v Speaker 5>At first, I was just doing Shancoty and then through

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<v Speaker 5>that got into men and then I was like, okay, well,

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<v Speaker 5>well I'm getting this exposure, I should at least create

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<v Speaker 5>a Twitter and start building up a following in case

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<v Speaker 5>I ever want to start only fans.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and then I'm.

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<v Speaker 5>Glad I did that, of course, and now I have

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<v Speaker 5>Now I'm doing only fans and I'm getting like before,

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<v Speaker 5>I was definitely getting way more money in studio work

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<v Speaker 5>than ever and only fans.

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<v Speaker 2>Well because Sean Coty pays.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean, like for people who are listening who don't know,

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<v Speaker 4>Sean Cody is one of the studios who's long been

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<v Speaker 4>known in the among the industry as like the highest

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<v Speaker 4>paying studios.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, and it's also like the one it's.

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<v Speaker 5>More they try to like maintain exclusivity.

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<v Speaker 2>With their models for sure. Degree So yes, like this

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<v Speaker 2>makes sense.

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<v Speaker 5>There's exceptions, but yeah, but that's why people with if

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<v Speaker 5>you already have a huge following, you're less likely to

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<v Speaker 5>work with Sean Cody. Ah, if you have worked with

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<v Speaker 5>other studios, it's very unlikely that they'll bring you in.

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<v Speaker 2>Just kind of an interesting business model, like what do

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<v Speaker 2>you think And they also just have like first names.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, they all just have first name, so they like

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<v Speaker 4>kind of like build people, they build their own star.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well their name is Sean Cody.

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<v Speaker 3>So like it's definitely by design that like people think

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<v Speaker 3>that they're watching like someone named Sean Cody.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Interesting, they can't remember the name of the model that

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<v Speaker 3>they remember Shan Cody, right, figure, they can always That's

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<v Speaker 3>how I always felt about.

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<v Speaker 2>Ambiguous, Like oh I love Paul from Shankoch.

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<v Speaker 3>And they're like, this guy doesn't really have a follower.

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<v Speaker 3>I have to come to Shan Cody.

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<v Speaker 2>Right right, right right. Interesting.

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<v Speaker 4>So you were for like a period of time Sean

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<v Speaker 4>Cody's Hayden Yeah right.

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<v Speaker 5>I think I think so. Maybe I wasn't as aware

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<v Speaker 5>of it at the time, but like happily.

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<v Speaker 2>So like I love working with Shaan Cody. Yeah, team,

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00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:18.039
<v Speaker 2>you had a good experience.

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<v Speaker 5>Yeah, men dot com as well like they because it's

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<v Speaker 5>all owned by al the same parent company.

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<v Speaker 2>Was Levi your first scene partner?

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00:14:25.440 --> 00:14:28.360
<v Speaker 5>Levi was my first scene partner, the first person to

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00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:29.440
<v Speaker 5>top him on camera?

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00:14:30.039 --> 00:14:36.480
<v Speaker 2>Wow, what a distinction. What a distinction. I mean that special,

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00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:42.519
<v Speaker 2>I mean you are. I mean he's a reliable top. Yes,

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00:14:43.159 --> 00:14:46.559
<v Speaker 2>gets heart, easy, comes easy. Yeah, but you know that

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00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:47.039
<v Speaker 2>about him.

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00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:49.960
<v Speaker 3>But he comes easy to because it comes easy, you guys,

306
00:14:50.080 --> 00:14:52.080
<v Speaker 3>because we've had sex off camera too, and I'm like,

307
00:14:52.440 --> 00:14:53.320
<v Speaker 3>just come, just do it.

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00:14:53.600 --> 00:14:57.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, please don't know. We don't need to be labor this.

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00:14:57.919 --> 00:14:59.960
<v Speaker 5>Most most people when they're filming, they have to take breaks,

310
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<v Speaker 5>so like get hard again.

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00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:03.240
<v Speaker 2>I have to take breaks, so I don't come. That's

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00:15:03.279 --> 00:15:07.639
<v Speaker 2>so cute. I love it. I don't know if you were.

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<v Speaker 2>Were you surprised that you were such a hit at

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00:15:10.720 --> 00:15:11.399
<v Speaker 2>Seawan Cody?

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00:15:12.440 --> 00:15:16.039
<v Speaker 5>I have a bit because I was pretty barry, Like, yeah,

316
00:15:16.080 --> 00:15:20.480
<v Speaker 5>you're you're like and not there and I'm leaner now

317
00:15:20.480 --> 00:15:23.240
<v Speaker 5>than I was then, Like so I was even chunkier.

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00:15:23.759 --> 00:15:26.919
<v Speaker 2>You were never chunky, thank you, but yes you were.

319
00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:28.519
<v Speaker 2>You were. I was a bigger boy.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you were me and fuzzy, which is like not

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00:15:31.240 --> 00:15:34.279
<v Speaker 4>usually Sean Coty's thing, So how did you?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, I don't know what. Uh it's that

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00:15:37.840 --> 00:15:41.440
<v Speaker 2>fucking smile. I can't even look at I just charmed

324
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<v Speaker 2>the producers.

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<v Speaker 3>They were just like, we want to work, yes, yeah,

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00:15:45.120 --> 00:15:47.919
<v Speaker 3>if you're reliable, and you're like that is the thing

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<v Speaker 3>where it's like what I was saying about people that

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00:15:49.559 --> 00:15:52.240
<v Speaker 3>are in this because they show up and people that

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00:15:52.559 --> 00:15:54.200
<v Speaker 3>are in it because they don't want to do anything else.

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<v Speaker 5>Seawan Cody is I think tired of like because it

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<v Speaker 5>studio works expensive to make, Like you have to pay

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00:16:01.320 --> 00:16:02.879
<v Speaker 5>for all the models, you have to pay for all

333
00:16:02.919 --> 00:16:05.120
<v Speaker 5>the tests that they have to clear for if you

334
00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:07.320
<v Speaker 5>if they don't clear, that's still out of your pocket.

335
00:16:08.080 --> 00:16:10.840
<v Speaker 2>And so I think they're tired of just.

336
00:16:11.320 --> 00:16:14.799
<v Speaker 5>Paying for people that flaked or I guess like they

337
00:16:14.799 --> 00:16:17.919
<v Speaker 5>give people a certain number of flakes before they're like, Okay,

338
00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:18.840
<v Speaker 5>we're not asking.

339
00:16:18.600 --> 00:16:19.399
<v Speaker 2>This person anymore.

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00:16:21.879 --> 00:16:25.559
<v Speaker 5>They've told me, they've told me like, like you're reliable,

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00:16:25.639 --> 00:16:27.639
<v Speaker 5>So like that's why they told me that.

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00:16:27.639 --> 00:16:29.399
<v Speaker 2>That's one of the reasons they bring me in. And

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<v Speaker 2>I think also because I.

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00:16:31.600 --> 00:16:34.759
<v Speaker 5>Helped treat like and like I wasn't great in my

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00:16:34.799 --> 00:16:36.919
<v Speaker 5>first couple of studio scenes either. But like there are

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00:16:37.320 --> 00:16:40.879
<v Speaker 5>some people that are catch on a little more quickly

347
00:16:40.919 --> 00:16:44.120
<v Speaker 5>about like fucking the camera and not fucking the.

348
00:16:44.080 --> 00:16:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Person in front of you.

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00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:51.240
<v Speaker 5>So sometimes there's some teaching moments that really help. If

350
00:16:51.279 --> 00:16:55.039
<v Speaker 5>you're a scene partner, is like helping helping steer you there,

351
00:16:55.080 --> 00:16:57.279
<v Speaker 5>because most people like if you give them a gentle push,

352
00:16:57.360 --> 00:17:00.480
<v Speaker 5>like the lead, then they catch on.

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<v Speaker 4>Was there a person who did kind of was kind

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<v Speaker 4>of the guide for you in that regard?

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00:17:04.599 --> 00:17:06.920
<v Speaker 5>I think just watching my own content and seeing my

356
00:17:07.079 --> 00:17:10.440
<v Speaker 5>fuck ups, seeing my mistake, I was like, ooh, I

357
00:17:10.480 --> 00:17:11.440
<v Speaker 5>hate that angle or.

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00:17:11.400 --> 00:17:13.759
<v Speaker 2>Ooh that doesn't And then also the producers help you.

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00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:17.279
<v Speaker 5>Too, like they say like like hey, Hayden, face the camera.

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<v Speaker 4>I've got to say a lot as someone who's been

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<v Speaker 4>doing this a very long time, there are a lot

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00:17:22.599 --> 00:17:25.440
<v Speaker 4>of people who do this who don't have that instinct,

363
00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:29.440
<v Speaker 4>who don't have that skill or that awareness to know that,

364
00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:33.000
<v Speaker 4>like being camera aware is super important.

365
00:17:33.400 --> 00:17:35.400
<v Speaker 2>And I filmed you two days ago.

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00:17:35.680 --> 00:17:38.960
<v Speaker 4>I was behind the camera lucky me for one of

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<v Speaker 4>his scenes, and I noticed when you were aware.

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00:17:43.240 --> 00:17:47.240
<v Speaker 2>This is one day ago, yesterday. That was not yesterday,

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00:17:47.240 --> 00:17:51.759
<v Speaker 2>that was yesterday, it actually wasn't you.

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00:17:52.359 --> 00:17:56.000
<v Speaker 3>No, it was because you asked because texted me. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>sure he texted about No, it.

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<v Speaker 4>Was Wednesday, girls, literally day, No, yesterday, I had gym class.

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<v Speaker 2>It was Wednesday, And what the did I do this? Earl?

374
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<v Speaker 2>What did you do yesterday? You don't even know?

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<v Speaker 5>Ah, no, yesterday?

376
00:18:15.440 --> 00:18:21.440
<v Speaker 6>Okay, I was like, I was like crazy, no, because

377
00:18:21.480 --> 00:18:23.640
<v Speaker 6>like after I wrapped up with you, I went to

378
00:18:23.680 --> 00:18:26.720
<v Speaker 6>Brogan's house because he filmed me for a thing that

379
00:18:26.839 --> 00:18:28.200
<v Speaker 6>was definitely not yesterday.

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00:18:28.240 --> 00:18:31.839
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. I'm not greaty, I'm the one anyway.

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00:18:32.240 --> 00:18:34.799
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I noticed that you were just like really aware

382
00:18:34.799 --> 00:18:36.799
<v Speaker 4>of where I was moving because you would twist the

383
00:18:36.799 --> 00:18:38.920
<v Speaker 4>body to me. You would move your arm out of

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00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:41.559
<v Speaker 4>the way. Why don't these guys know to move your

385
00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:42.680
<v Speaker 4>arm out of the way.

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00:18:43.240 --> 00:18:46.599
<v Speaker 2>Arms all the time? Move I've actually seen you do that.

387
00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:50.599
<v Speaker 2>You move your arm. Your arm is in the way

388
00:18:50.759 --> 00:18:53.200
<v Speaker 2>of the thing that people want to see. The camera

389
00:18:53.359 --> 00:18:55.599
<v Speaker 2>is right there. The arm I moved the most is

390
00:18:55.680 --> 00:19:01.799
<v Speaker 2>my deck. Like, oh, well that's a different story. Yeah,

391
00:19:01.839 --> 00:19:02.519
<v Speaker 2>that is a different sting.

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00:19:03.440 --> 00:19:06.400
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, like so, so I'm sure that that is

393
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:09.440
<v Speaker 4>probably a big reason like that, I think being reliable

394
00:19:09.599 --> 00:19:10.720
<v Speaker 4>and being camera aware.

395
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:13.920
<v Speaker 3>I think also it might be like people that do

396
00:19:15.079 --> 00:19:20.279
<v Speaker 3>mostly stationary like know where the camera usually is where

397
00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:25.000
<v Speaker 3>it's set someone moving around, and they're not used to

398
00:19:25.039 --> 00:19:29.079
<v Speaker 3>like being aware of the movement of the Vido video grip.

399
00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:32.400
<v Speaker 5>Like I can't like personally, like I do not I

400
00:19:32.440 --> 00:19:36.559
<v Speaker 5>hate the stationary setup too, Like I am not happy

401
00:19:36.599 --> 00:19:38.640
<v Speaker 5>with the word it's so much longer, it takes so

402
00:19:38.720 --> 00:19:42.240
<v Speaker 5>much longer. I can't enjoy it at all, and like

403
00:19:42.240 --> 00:19:46.279
<v Speaker 5>like normally like if I'm not, like I am more

404
00:19:46.279 --> 00:19:48.599
<v Speaker 5>camera aware, and that definitely kind of makes it takes

405
00:19:48.599 --> 00:19:49.920
<v Speaker 5>you out of the sex a little bit and like

406
00:19:49.960 --> 00:19:52.559
<v Speaker 5>you're a little less present in some ways. But I

407
00:19:52.599 --> 00:19:55.720
<v Speaker 5>look forward to being present when I watch it and

408
00:19:55.799 --> 00:19:58.680
<v Speaker 5>like kind of reliving or like enjoying it for the

409
00:19:58.680 --> 00:20:01.720
<v Speaker 5>first time as a viewer, right, and like more than

410
00:20:01.759 --> 00:20:03.960
<v Speaker 5>like as the actual person having sex, which.

411
00:20:03.799 --> 00:20:06.039
<v Speaker 2>I love how I love to watch that stuff.

412
00:20:06.839 --> 00:20:09.480
<v Speaker 5>I try to like skim through at least each video

413
00:20:09.519 --> 00:20:12.519
<v Speaker 5>after it's done, Like but like that's that's kind of

414
00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:14.680
<v Speaker 5>like my reward is like rather than like I want

415
00:20:14.720 --> 00:20:16.160
<v Speaker 5>because I want the product to be good.

416
00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:18.319
<v Speaker 2>I want my final I take pride in my work.

417
00:20:18.359 --> 00:20:20.640
<v Speaker 2>I want it to look good, Like that's yeah, I.

418
00:20:20.559 --> 00:20:24.359
<v Speaker 5>Think that's hotter than the thirty minutes or the twenty minutes.

419
00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:28.240
<v Speaker 5>Like for me, it's ten minutes of my ten minute

420
00:20:28.279 --> 00:20:30.839
<v Speaker 5>video where it's like, you know, I spend two hours

421
00:20:30.920 --> 00:20:33.920
<v Speaker 5>douching for this, two hours doing for ten minutes. But

422
00:20:33.960 --> 00:20:35.279
<v Speaker 5>it's like, but I look at it is like I

423
00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:37.799
<v Speaker 5>spent two hours douching for a film that will last

424
00:20:37.799 --> 00:20:42.839
<v Speaker 5>for forever that I'll watch once, but I think I

425
00:20:43.039 --> 00:20:46.119
<v Speaker 5>enjoy it more after like watching it after, Like that's

426
00:20:46.119 --> 00:20:48.680
<v Speaker 5>my that's I guess my way of saying that, or

427
00:20:49.200 --> 00:20:51.640
<v Speaker 5>my way of justifying being less present in the scene

428
00:20:51.720 --> 00:20:55.240
<v Speaker 5>is that it'll be a better video, like right.

429
00:20:57.240 --> 00:20:59.799
<v Speaker 3>As performers in the adult industry, we get asked all

430
00:20:59.839 --> 00:21:02.039
<v Speaker 3>the time about tips on how to perform like a

431
00:21:02.079 --> 00:21:02.839
<v Speaker 3>porn star.

432
00:21:03.000 --> 00:21:05.920
<v Speaker 2>And what says porn star more than a big load? Right?

433
00:21:06.000 --> 00:21:06.240
<v Speaker 3>Cool?

434
00:21:06.640 --> 00:21:06.839
<v Speaker 2>Right?

435
00:21:07.319 --> 00:21:11.400
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436
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:14.440
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437
00:21:14.480 --> 00:21:16.720
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438
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<v Speaker 4>But we're not just talking about taste here. Popstar is

439
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440
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441
00:21:24.279 --> 00:21:28.119
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442
00:21:28.200 --> 00:21:31.799
<v Speaker 3>highest quality ingredients and is backed by scientific research to

443
00:21:31.880 --> 00:21:34.279
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444
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445
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446
00:21:38.400 --> 00:21:41.640
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447
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448
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449
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450
00:21:55.880 --> 00:21:57.799
<v Speaker 2>Well, let me ask you this. Let's go back a

451
00:21:57.839 --> 00:21:59.839
<v Speaker 2>little bit. Where are you from? Originally?

452
00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:03.359
<v Speaker 5>I am from Pasadena, California.

453
00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:06.240
<v Speaker 2>Oh, you're a fucking la boy like me. Did I

454
00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:07.599
<v Speaker 2>know this about you? I don't know.

455
00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:11.160
<v Speaker 5>But I also jumped around, like my family moved a lot.

456
00:22:11.240 --> 00:22:13.359
<v Speaker 5>I was part I grew up in a very big

457
00:22:13.759 --> 00:22:17.720
<v Speaker 5>Roman Catholic family. I'm one of eleven children. I have

458
00:22:17.799 --> 00:22:19.200
<v Speaker 5>five brothers and five sisters.

459
00:22:19.559 --> 00:22:22.599
<v Speaker 2>Where are you in the line, I am the third

460
00:22:22.960 --> 00:22:24.599
<v Speaker 2>third of eleven. Yeah.

461
00:22:24.640 --> 00:22:25.160
<v Speaker 7>Wow.

462
00:22:25.880 --> 00:22:28.200
<v Speaker 5>So I don't really talk to any of them because

463
00:22:28.200 --> 00:22:32.680
<v Speaker 5>they're super religious and just totally still totally different mindset

464
00:22:32.799 --> 00:22:35.599
<v Speaker 5>and like it's just frustrating to stay in contact.

465
00:22:35.599 --> 00:22:38.160
<v Speaker 2>So I don't Is that difficult or are you kind

466
00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:39.759
<v Speaker 2>of relieved? I'm at this point.

467
00:22:39.799 --> 00:22:42.079
<v Speaker 5>I'm relieved and like it's more like if something comes

468
00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:44.200
<v Speaker 5>up that brings me back into that world, it only

469
00:22:44.200 --> 00:22:47.519
<v Speaker 5>brings stress and like headache, and it's kind of like

470
00:22:47.559 --> 00:22:50.319
<v Speaker 5>what is this, Like I kind of thought about it

471
00:22:50.319 --> 00:22:52.319
<v Speaker 5>a long time ago where it's like, well I wanted

472
00:22:52.319 --> 00:22:53.920
<v Speaker 5>that when I was a kid, and now I'm like,

473
00:22:53.960 --> 00:22:57.759
<v Speaker 5>there's no need for parents and so yeah, there's no

474
00:22:57.839 --> 00:23:01.119
<v Speaker 5>benefit for me to have parents or to have a

475
00:23:01.160 --> 00:23:01.920
<v Speaker 5>family like that.

476
00:23:01.920 --> 00:23:04.759
<v Speaker 2>That's right, that I don't that isn't fun to be around.

477
00:23:04.839 --> 00:23:07.599
<v Speaker 5>And like just like how I like most people, most

478
00:23:07.599 --> 00:23:09.880
<v Speaker 5>straight people like don't like being around their family, or

479
00:23:09.920 --> 00:23:12.200
<v Speaker 5>like people dread going home for the holidays because they

480
00:23:12.200 --> 00:23:13.559
<v Speaker 5>don't enjoy time with their family.

481
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:16.039
<v Speaker 4>And I'm kind of relieved of that. Yeah, you can

482
00:23:16.079 --> 00:23:17.119
<v Speaker 4>make your own holidays.

483
00:23:17.200 --> 00:23:19.079
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, or I can choose my own family.

484
00:23:19.200 --> 00:23:22.680
<v Speaker 4>Family absolutely, as you know, we gay people, we get

485
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:25.640
<v Speaker 4>to choose likes.

486
00:23:25.720 --> 00:23:29.119
<v Speaker 2>It's so true though, there's a reason RuPaul's successful. She

487
00:23:29.200 --> 00:23:31.039
<v Speaker 2>says a lot of things, right, Yeah, that's right.

488
00:23:31.160 --> 00:23:35.240
<v Speaker 3>Well we're lucky. We both we both have good standings

489
00:23:35.279 --> 00:23:35.720
<v Speaker 3>with our.

490
00:23:36.359 --> 00:23:40.400
<v Speaker 4>We do, yes, But but I totally I I can

491
00:23:40.440 --> 00:23:45.480
<v Speaker 4>see also like the how his perspective that is also.

492
00:23:45.279 --> 00:23:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Crat I'm not every Yeah, it's not everyone.

493
00:23:50.480 --> 00:23:52.599
<v Speaker 4>Right, but no, but I also think that there's huge

494
00:23:52.680 --> 00:23:54.880
<v Speaker 4>value in chosen family, which we also have.

495
00:23:55.079 --> 00:23:57.720
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and I love like when I was younger, we

496
00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:01.880
<v Speaker 5>would find like resentment towards people that cared about their

497
00:24:01.880 --> 00:24:04.240
<v Speaker 5>parents' opinions at all, and then.

498
00:24:04.119 --> 00:24:06.799
<v Speaker 2>Like over time, I'm like, Okay, now some parents are good.

499
00:24:07.119 --> 00:24:10.960
<v Speaker 5>Some people owe their parents more than what I owe mine, right, right, right,

500
00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:13.640
<v Speaker 5>So it's I've learned not to project my past onto

501
00:24:13.640 --> 00:24:16.680
<v Speaker 5>everyone else, absolutely, but yeah, very smart. But yeah, I

502
00:24:16.759 --> 00:24:19.680
<v Speaker 5>grew up all over California. When I turned went to

503
00:24:19.720 --> 00:24:25.039
<v Speaker 5>the little Catholic private school in Pasadena, and then when

504
00:24:26.480 --> 00:24:32.279
<v Speaker 5>it's called Saint Monica Academy, it was like Boulevard.

505
00:24:31.799 --> 00:24:33.799
<v Speaker 2>By the Rose Bowl, gotcha.

506
00:24:35.839 --> 00:24:40.880
<v Speaker 5>And then when I turned eighteen, I moved to Washington

507
00:24:40.920 --> 00:24:46.000
<v Speaker 5>State briefly to work at a winery and then just

508
00:24:46.039 --> 00:24:48.319
<v Speaker 5>doing the harvest, which is like all manual labor.

509
00:24:49.440 --> 00:24:54.440
<v Speaker 2>And then from there I.

510
00:24:52.599 --> 00:24:54.640
<v Speaker 5>Got to know some people that were going to go

511
00:24:54.680 --> 00:24:58.319
<v Speaker 5>into a harvest in Australia, and so when I was eighteen,

512
00:24:58.359 --> 00:25:00.680
<v Speaker 5>I moved there and I stay there for a year

513
00:25:01.519 --> 00:25:04.039
<v Speaker 5>until my visa expired, then moved to New Zealand. Stayed

514
00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:07.839
<v Speaker 5>there until my views expired and then moved to Napa

515
00:25:07.880 --> 00:25:10.039
<v Speaker 5>because that was the only place it's like kind of

516
00:25:10.079 --> 00:25:15.440
<v Speaker 5>close to home that makes wine, and so then I got.

517
00:25:15.240 --> 00:25:16.839
<v Speaker 2>Into the wine industry there.

518
00:25:17.079 --> 00:25:19.000
<v Speaker 5>Lived there for four years, and then I kind of

519
00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:23.799
<v Speaker 5>got into like administrative work for like a wine packaging company.

520
00:25:24.119 --> 00:25:28.200
<v Speaker 2>Wow. Yeah, you have a wine background. Yeah, you know from.

521
00:25:28.039 --> 00:25:30.079
<v Speaker 5>When I was eighteen, because you can drink wine in

522
00:25:30.079 --> 00:25:31.039
<v Speaker 5>Australia at eighteen.

523
00:25:31.720 --> 00:25:34.880
<v Speaker 2>You know a lot about wine because of it, yeah, said, I.

524
00:25:34.799 --> 00:25:39.119
<v Speaker 5>Definitely know more about more about wine than most or yeah,

525
00:25:39.799 --> 00:25:42.359
<v Speaker 5>which I really wasn't like super super into it when

526
00:25:42.359 --> 00:25:45.319
<v Speaker 5>I was like eighteen nineteen, but then by the time

527
00:25:45.359 --> 00:25:48.119
<v Speaker 5>it was like in my later twenties, I started taking

528
00:25:48.160 --> 00:25:49.039
<v Speaker 5>more interest into it.

529
00:25:49.480 --> 00:25:51.640
<v Speaker 2>Do you have a favorite wine? Oh?

530
00:25:51.839 --> 00:25:55.599
<v Speaker 5>Probably like a Pinut greet or no, sorry, Pino noir? No,

531
00:25:57.440 --> 00:26:01.039
<v Speaker 5>like like the Sonma Peano noirs. You like a California

532
00:26:01.160 --> 00:26:03.839
<v Speaker 5>versus a New Zealand? Yeah, I like the the over

533
00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:04.799
<v Speaker 5>ripe fruit.

534
00:26:05.759 --> 00:26:07.640
<v Speaker 2>Is that why California is known.

535
00:26:07.480 --> 00:26:10.559
<v Speaker 5>For its well California it's like a warmer climate, so

536
00:26:10.720 --> 00:26:12.960
<v Speaker 5>like the grapes are usually picked a lot later in

537
00:26:12.960 --> 00:26:16.440
<v Speaker 5>the year, like French wine is like they call it

538
00:26:16.559 --> 00:26:19.319
<v Speaker 5>more green, which is where this is so boring for

539
00:26:19.480 --> 00:26:20.039
<v Speaker 5>most people.

540
00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:22.279
<v Speaker 2>I don't know harvest.

541
00:26:22.279 --> 00:26:25.720
<v Speaker 5>They harvest grapes earlier when there's lower sugar acid, and

542
00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:28.880
<v Speaker 5>then there's less alcohol in the final product. And then

543
00:26:29.119 --> 00:26:32.960
<v Speaker 5>in California, because there's more sugar, there's more alcohol after

544
00:26:33.000 --> 00:26:36.079
<v Speaker 5>it for mens. And then we also water water it

545
00:26:36.119 --> 00:26:39.519
<v Speaker 5>down because that's legal here and it's not in France. Oh,

546
00:26:41.079 --> 00:26:44.559
<v Speaker 5>we water it down until it's at the wine tax

547
00:26:44.680 --> 00:26:48.160
<v Speaker 5>bracket and not the whoa yeah, or until it's at

548
00:26:48.160 --> 00:26:51.000
<v Speaker 5>the wine alcohol level and you can lie at like

549
00:26:51.079 --> 00:26:53.640
<v Speaker 5>one point five percent alcohol on it. So most wine

550
00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:56.240
<v Speaker 5>is like one point five percent stronger than what it

551
00:26:56.279 --> 00:26:56.799
<v Speaker 5>says it is.

552
00:26:58.400 --> 00:27:01.119
<v Speaker 2>Do a lot of vineyards do that? Fourteen? Yeah?

553
00:27:01.319 --> 00:27:03.440
<v Speaker 5>I mean I worked for a Constellation brands that Ravens

554
00:27:03.480 --> 00:27:08.000
<v Speaker 5>with winery and it was basically synthetic wine dropped.

555
00:27:07.720 --> 00:27:12.319
<v Speaker 4>And everything because you on the big it's like don't

556
00:27:12.359 --> 00:27:13.559
<v Speaker 4>buy Ravens.

557
00:27:13.240 --> 00:27:18.200
<v Speaker 2>Or not Pronsia or like yellowtail. Yeah.

558
00:27:18.240 --> 00:27:22.279
<v Speaker 5>I worked at a Cassella processing winery, which is yellow

559
00:27:22.279 --> 00:27:23.480
<v Speaker 5>tail in Australia.

560
00:27:23.599 --> 00:27:24.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yellowtes Australian.

561
00:27:25.400 --> 00:27:28.000
<v Speaker 4>But yeah, you know what, people will watch this face

562
00:27:28.000 --> 00:27:30.160
<v Speaker 4>talk about anything, have a glass wine too.

563
00:27:30.400 --> 00:27:35.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, it gets you drunk. Sure. Well the story.

564
00:27:35.559 --> 00:27:38.240
<v Speaker 4>So was there like a part in this process where

565
00:27:38.279 --> 00:27:39.440
<v Speaker 4>you realized you were gay?

566
00:27:39.559 --> 00:27:40.839
<v Speaker 2>Was there a coming out process?

567
00:27:40.920 --> 00:27:41.079
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

568
00:27:41.279 --> 00:27:43.640
<v Speaker 2>I realized it was gay when I was in high

569
00:27:43.640 --> 00:27:46.920
<v Speaker 2>school or younger? Okayih grade? Did you come out or not? Really?

570
00:27:47.799 --> 00:27:49.960
<v Speaker 5>I knew that I just had to wait until I

571
00:27:49.960 --> 00:27:53.480
<v Speaker 5>could move out. But I did get found out. Like

572
00:27:54.640 --> 00:27:57.160
<v Speaker 5>I was a lifeguard when I was sixteen at Raging

573
00:27:57.160 --> 00:28:02.519
<v Speaker 5>Water sand Demus and I've been any time, and I

574
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:04.279
<v Speaker 5>like that was my first time where I met people

575
00:28:04.279 --> 00:28:07.400
<v Speaker 5>outside of like my family's approved circle, outside of our

576
00:28:07.400 --> 00:28:11.480
<v Speaker 5>little Catholic colt. And so I met a gay person

577
00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:14.880
<v Speaker 5>and I was curious and I had questions, and so

578
00:28:15.000 --> 00:28:18.640
<v Speaker 5>I messaged them on Facebook when that was a thing,

579
00:28:18.920 --> 00:28:23.519
<v Speaker 5>and also on a desktop computer because my parents wouldn't

580
00:28:23.559 --> 00:28:27.480
<v Speaker 5>let me have a smartphone. Oh And I ran upstairs

581
00:28:27.480 --> 00:28:29.839
<v Speaker 5>to go grab something, and my mom jumped on the

582
00:28:29.839 --> 00:28:32.720
<v Speaker 5>computer and went through my messages and saw it. And

583
00:28:32.799 --> 00:28:35.279
<v Speaker 5>my parents took away my phone that I paid for

584
00:28:35.279 --> 00:28:37.039
<v Speaker 5>with my summer job. They took away the keys. I

585
00:28:37.079 --> 00:28:39.680
<v Speaker 5>was driving like through two hours of traffic every day

586
00:28:39.680 --> 00:28:42.720
<v Speaker 5>to get to school. Basically like put me on lockdown,

587
00:28:43.000 --> 00:28:44.799
<v Speaker 5>and so I just like bowed my head down and

588
00:28:44.839 --> 00:28:47.279
<v Speaker 5>told them I was gonna They wanted to make conversion

589
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:48.799
<v Speaker 5>therapy and I was like, no, I'll do it on

590
00:28:48.799 --> 00:28:49.880
<v Speaker 5>my own and just.

591
00:28:49.880 --> 00:28:51.119
<v Speaker 2>Lab for two years.

592
00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:55.000
<v Speaker 5>So I was a senior and then graduated high school

593
00:28:55.039 --> 00:28:56.480
<v Speaker 5>and then fucked off the struggle.

594
00:28:56.559 --> 00:28:57.240
<v Speaker 2>Did you tell that?

595
00:28:58.200 --> 00:29:00.720
<v Speaker 3>Did you tell them that you were like actively going

596
00:29:00.759 --> 00:29:01.759
<v Speaker 3>somewhere to No.

597
00:29:01.839 --> 00:29:02.400
<v Speaker 2>I told them that.

598
00:29:02.440 --> 00:29:04.480
<v Speaker 5>I was like, no, I'll just work on it internally

599
00:29:04.720 --> 00:29:06.559
<v Speaker 5>or like I'll just pray the gay away.

600
00:29:06.519 --> 00:29:08.279
<v Speaker 2>Like because that works. Yeah.

601
00:29:08.480 --> 00:29:12.680
<v Speaker 5>Oh, I like accepted myself much earlier on, and I'm

602
00:29:12.680 --> 00:29:15.200
<v Speaker 5>so glad I did, because like I went through like

603
00:29:15.240 --> 00:29:16.799
<v Speaker 5>stuff that a lot of people go through in like

604
00:29:16.839 --> 00:29:21.319
<v Speaker 5>their twenties or thirties and like their identity crisis, and yeah,

605
00:29:21.599 --> 00:29:25.119
<v Speaker 5>I went through all of that like self hate kind

606
00:29:25.160 --> 00:29:29.000
<v Speaker 5>of thing in like seventh and eighth grade, so by

607
00:29:28.839 --> 00:29:32.119
<v Speaker 5>by high school, I was like fuck it all and

608
00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:33.880
<v Speaker 5>it was just like all which is great because it's

609
00:29:33.880 --> 00:29:34.799
<v Speaker 5>all downhill from there.

610
00:29:35.160 --> 00:29:38.000
<v Speaker 4>Like well, I mean like that like self actualizing that

611
00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:41.000
<v Speaker 4>early enough to be like I'm just gonna lie to these.

612
00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:42.480
<v Speaker 2>People until I'm eighteen.

613
00:29:42.559 --> 00:29:44.640
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, And like was that like a hardship or you're like,

614
00:29:44.720 --> 00:29:47.599
<v Speaker 5>well that was it was hardship because like you're around

615
00:29:47.640 --> 00:29:50.240
<v Speaker 5>people that are homophobic. Yeah, for two years and like

616
00:29:50.559 --> 00:29:53.039
<v Speaker 5>all the and like I knew that everyone I knew

617
00:29:53.039 --> 00:29:55.519
<v Speaker 5>and everyone that was close to me I was gonna

618
00:29:55.519 --> 00:29:59.160
<v Speaker 5>lose or like they were like and that did happen,

619
00:29:59.319 --> 00:30:00.319
<v Speaker 5>Like it is a real thing.

620
00:30:00.440 --> 00:30:02.200
<v Speaker 2>It was still the right choice. I don't regret it

621
00:30:02.240 --> 00:30:05.480
<v Speaker 2>for a second, and I'm all the happier for it. Wow.

622
00:30:05.720 --> 00:30:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Are they all still in Pasadena?

623
00:30:07.279 --> 00:30:12.799
<v Speaker 5>No, they moved to Bakersfield because their traditional family set

624
00:30:12.880 --> 00:30:15.519
<v Speaker 5>up is my dad is the soul breadwinner. My mom

625
00:30:15.640 --> 00:30:18.160
<v Speaker 5>was to stay at home mom, and my dad got

626
00:30:18.160 --> 00:30:20.680
<v Speaker 5>early on set dementia and then couldn't work, and so

627
00:30:20.720 --> 00:30:23.079
<v Speaker 5>they packed up all their ship bought a house in Bakersfield,

628
00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:27.039
<v Speaker 5>and my mom supports the family by teaching like.

629
00:30:27.160 --> 00:30:30.920
<v Speaker 2>Wow, yeah, but you are all they're all.

630
00:30:30.960 --> 00:30:35.359
<v Speaker 5>They're also super conservative and now my dad is on welfare,

631
00:30:36.119 --> 00:30:40.680
<v Speaker 5>which is something they don't believe in. Like I kind

632
00:30:40.680 --> 00:30:43.599
<v Speaker 5>of like gently pointed out to him, like so this

633
00:30:43.680 --> 00:30:49.079
<v Speaker 5>thing you don't believe in, you're using. It's like and

634
00:30:49.119 --> 00:30:51.279
<v Speaker 5>it's like your family would be starving if you didn't.

635
00:30:51.880 --> 00:30:55.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and he's like, what do you want me to do?

636
00:30:55.839 --> 00:30:58.519
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I want you just to realize that it's.

637
00:30:58.359 --> 00:31:04.000
<v Speaker 5>A good thing, yeah for anyone, Like I watched you

638
00:31:04.039 --> 00:31:07.279
<v Speaker 5>to have the benefit but also see the benefit.

639
00:31:06.920 --> 00:31:11.599
<v Speaker 2>Of the benefit, right right? Wow? Interesting? Yeah, So then

640
00:31:11.920 --> 00:31:12.960
<v Speaker 2>when did you make it to l A.

641
00:31:13.799 --> 00:31:16.160
<v Speaker 5>I was in NAPA for like four years, and then

642
00:31:16.480 --> 00:31:19.559
<v Speaker 5>during when COVID happened, I broke up with my ex there.

643
00:31:19.640 --> 00:31:22.279
<v Speaker 2>Who I'm still really good friends with your exend NAPA.

644
00:31:22.359 --> 00:31:27.200
<v Speaker 2>My exend Napacha big tall, big boy. We love those.

645
00:31:29.559 --> 00:31:31.440
<v Speaker 5>He was in the closet when I started dating him,

646
00:31:31.440 --> 00:31:32.759
<v Speaker 5>and I was like, I'm not going back in the

647
00:31:32.759 --> 00:31:35.720
<v Speaker 5>closet for anything, And so he came out, and then

648
00:31:35.799 --> 00:31:38.839
<v Speaker 5>that same night his brother and his sister came out

649
00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:39.279
<v Speaker 5>as well.

650
00:31:39.480 --> 00:31:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Whoa, And that was all three of them. You only

651
00:31:41.640 --> 00:31:44.359
<v Speaker 2>have two siblings. So look all the good you.

652
00:31:44.279 --> 00:31:48.799
<v Speaker 5>Do turned everybody gay.

653
00:31:51.440 --> 00:31:55.079
<v Speaker 3>That's like, it can't be any worse than what I've

654
00:31:55.119 --> 00:31:55.559
<v Speaker 3>been through.

655
00:31:55.680 --> 00:32:00.119
<v Speaker 5>You Like, yeah, I mean, because my parents were so

656
00:32:00.279 --> 00:32:02.920
<v Speaker 5>far on one side, I'm kind of grateful because it

657
00:32:02.960 --> 00:32:06.119
<v Speaker 5>pushed me out of it sooner, where like I feel

658
00:32:06.160 --> 00:32:08.920
<v Speaker 5>like if my parents were more accepting or more wishy washy,

659
00:32:09.799 --> 00:32:13.000
<v Speaker 5>I would have stayed in the closet longer. So yeah,

660
00:32:13.160 --> 00:32:14.759
<v Speaker 5>and in a lot of ways, I'm grateful for what

661
00:32:14.839 --> 00:32:15.599
<v Speaker 5>I had.

662
00:32:15.480 --> 00:32:17.319
<v Speaker 2>At like you had to like.

663
00:32:17.960 --> 00:32:21.319
<v Speaker 5>It also gave me a lot of life perspective because

664
00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:23.960
<v Speaker 5>now I have I grew up with this with the

665
00:32:24.000 --> 00:32:27.519
<v Speaker 5>mindset of a conservative that you know, growing up gay

666
00:32:27.519 --> 00:32:31.079
<v Speaker 5>in LA you wouldn't think you'd ever have that experience.

667
00:32:31.119 --> 00:32:34.480
<v Speaker 2>But it does give you perspective on how they think.

668
00:32:34.680 --> 00:32:37.960
<v Speaker 5>Even now, I believe nothing they believe, like it at

669
00:32:38.039 --> 00:32:40.279
<v Speaker 5>least kind of like gives you an understanding of why

670
00:32:40.319 --> 00:32:41.680
<v Speaker 5>they don't see what you see.

671
00:32:43.960 --> 00:32:46.559
<v Speaker 2>So after you guys broke up, you might to La.

672
00:32:46.680 --> 00:32:50.960
<v Speaker 5>So COVID was awful and we were like working and

673
00:32:51.160 --> 00:32:54.200
<v Speaker 5>living together out of the house and it drove us crazy.

674
00:32:54.359 --> 00:32:57.839
<v Speaker 2>And then I moved out of his house.

675
00:32:57.880 --> 00:33:01.480
<v Speaker 5>This is the house he was born in and so

676
00:33:02.400 --> 00:33:05.000
<v Speaker 5>and his parents moved out and left him in the house.

677
00:33:06.960 --> 00:33:08.160
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I got out of that.

678
00:33:08.279 --> 00:33:12.400
<v Speaker 5>And then everyone I knew in that in small town

679
00:33:12.480 --> 00:33:16.559
<v Speaker 5>Napa was through my ex boyfriends. So it was just

680
00:33:16.559 --> 00:33:19.519
<v Speaker 5>not a good setup because like at that time, and

681
00:33:19.559 --> 00:33:20.880
<v Speaker 5>so I had to get out and I had been

682
00:33:20.920 --> 00:33:22.759
<v Speaker 5>wanting to come back to La for a long time,

683
00:33:24.079 --> 00:33:27.759
<v Speaker 5>so I did and moved down. I quit my job

684
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:30.160
<v Speaker 5>so I did not get any of that fun employment

685
00:33:30.200 --> 00:33:36.480
<v Speaker 5>from COVID and started working at a small doctor's office

686
00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:39.839
<v Speaker 5>in Beverly Hills. That wasn't super long because then I

687
00:33:39.880 --> 00:33:43.400
<v Speaker 5>got a job for this software sales startup.

688
00:33:43.880 --> 00:33:45.200
<v Speaker 2>We got a lot of jobs.

689
00:33:45.480 --> 00:33:48.039
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, well this was This was all like very because

690
00:33:48.039 --> 00:33:49.960
<v Speaker 5>when I first came down to La, like finding a

691
00:33:50.039 --> 00:33:53.119
<v Speaker 5>job was like, a good job is not easy.

692
00:33:53.240 --> 00:33:55.200
<v Speaker 2>There's so many shady businesses down here.

693
00:33:56.279 --> 00:33:59.240
<v Speaker 5>But yeah, that's speaking of this software sales company, which

694
00:33:59.279 --> 00:34:01.960
<v Speaker 5>was like hey, great and like taught me a lot

695
00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:09.960
<v Speaker 5>about sales and how to manipulate people. It felt like

696
00:34:10.039 --> 00:34:13.960
<v Speaker 5>Wolf of Wall Street, like sales floor, like like a

697
00:34:13.960 --> 00:34:16.360
<v Speaker 5>bunch of people with mic and just like screaming at

698
00:34:16.360 --> 00:34:18.960
<v Speaker 5>people to spend money, like you'd have to get someone

699
00:34:19.000 --> 00:34:21.519
<v Speaker 5>to spend ten grand in five minutes over the phone,

700
00:34:22.119 --> 00:34:25.440
<v Speaker 5>cold calling and we get like three sales a day

701
00:34:25.639 --> 00:34:28.960
<v Speaker 5>from calling like four hundred people if you were good

702
00:34:29.039 --> 00:34:32.880
<v Speaker 5>at it. But I also didn't really know what I

703
00:34:32.920 --> 00:34:34.920
<v Speaker 5>was talking about and then so it wasn't until I

704
00:34:34.960 --> 00:34:36.760
<v Speaker 5>was out there for a couple months to realize like, oh,

705
00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:40.679
<v Speaker 5>this is shady as hell, and I started looking for

706
00:34:40.880 --> 00:34:44.000
<v Speaker 5>other work. And then while I was looking for other work,

707
00:34:44.280 --> 00:34:47.119
<v Speaker 5>they got shut down because it was shady as hell.

708
00:34:49.199 --> 00:34:52.639
<v Speaker 5>And then I got this other job at this super

709
00:34:52.679 --> 00:34:56.360
<v Speaker 5>super cute little COVID lab startup in Venice Beach.

710
00:34:56.599 --> 00:34:58.480
<v Speaker 4>Okay, I'm gonna ask you, in an interest of time,

711
00:34:58.519 --> 00:35:00.800
<v Speaker 4>to make this a quick ste trying to get to

712
00:35:00.840 --> 00:35:02.960
<v Speaker 4>the park when we've got into porn.

713
00:35:03.239 --> 00:35:10.119
<v Speaker 5>Okay, so then, so then my neighbor Levi asked me

714
00:35:10.119 --> 00:35:12.480
<v Speaker 5>if I would do a scene with him for Sean Cody.

715
00:35:12.480 --> 00:35:15.800
<v Speaker 2>He said I would, and I don't regret it, like

716
00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:16.480
<v Speaker 2>it was fun.

717
00:35:17.119 --> 00:35:18.760
<v Speaker 5>Like a lot of my friends had even told me that,

718
00:35:18.920 --> 00:35:21.280
<v Speaker 5>like Andrew, you're kind of built for porn because I

719
00:35:21.440 --> 00:35:23.159
<v Speaker 5>was just a massive slut.

720
00:35:23.400 --> 00:35:27.960
<v Speaker 3>Okay, were you a big fan of porn? Watching to porn?

721
00:35:28.039 --> 00:35:29.559
<v Speaker 3>And like what kind of stuff did you.

722
00:35:29.679 --> 00:35:32.679
<v Speaker 2>Like to watch? I watched a lot of weird ship

723
00:35:35.000 --> 00:35:37.440
<v Speaker 2>talk about it.

724
00:35:37.440 --> 00:35:39.360
<v Speaker 5>It all had to do about like with what was

725
00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:41.320
<v Speaker 5>taboo or like what wasn't allowed.

726
00:35:41.440 --> 00:35:44.440
<v Speaker 2>I think Catholic guilt interesting, like.

727
00:35:45.960 --> 00:35:48.199
<v Speaker 5>Because it's wrong, it's what I want to do or

728
00:35:48.239 --> 00:35:51.320
<v Speaker 5>like or like associated what what I wanted the most

729
00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:56.280
<v Speaker 5>as being bad okay, but that I don't really have

730
00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:58.599
<v Speaker 5>any of that anymore. I feel like after you go

731
00:35:58.639 --> 00:36:02.320
<v Speaker 5>to therapy you lose all your kinks, but I don't

732
00:36:02.320 --> 00:36:04.480
<v Speaker 5>know about that, which is what I told you.

733
00:36:05.840 --> 00:36:09.800
<v Speaker 3>Wait, really well, I think it's gonna sound king shame,

734
00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:11.920
<v Speaker 3>but I think some of the more extreme things are

735
00:36:12.000 --> 00:36:13.679
<v Speaker 3>unresolved traumas.

736
00:36:14.199 --> 00:36:16.239
<v Speaker 2>Or people that just want to relive that trauma over

737
00:36:16.280 --> 00:36:18.960
<v Speaker 2>and over and over again. Yeah.

738
00:36:21.880 --> 00:36:27.719
<v Speaker 3>So I've been very uncomfortably with you at a park situation.

739
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:33.039
<v Speaker 2>For like ten minutes, and then they're like, oh, that

740
00:36:33.079 --> 00:36:39.159
<v Speaker 2>has with unresolved trauma. That's all about substance abuse. Wow,

741
00:36:39.880 --> 00:36:41.480
<v Speaker 2>she just opened so many doors. I don't know which

742
00:36:41.519 --> 00:36:44.880
<v Speaker 2>one to open. Oh God, proceed with caution.

743
00:36:45.159 --> 00:36:48.760
<v Speaker 4>Okay, all right, so you used to watch more kinky stuff.

744
00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:51.360
<v Speaker 4>Now you don't because you've clearly resolved all your traumas.

745
00:36:51.440 --> 00:36:52.079
<v Speaker 4>Must be nice.

746
00:36:52.280 --> 00:36:58.480
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's kind of boring to be honest, now, besides

747
00:36:58.519 --> 00:36:59.079
<v Speaker 3>your own.

748
00:37:00.679 --> 00:37:04.000
<v Speaker 5>Just tricking off to your m I don't know, but

749
00:37:04.440 --> 00:37:07.519
<v Speaker 5>it's really not interesting because it does get kind of boring,

750
00:37:07.719 --> 00:37:12.000
<v Speaker 5>like it's more about it sounds so corny, but now

751
00:37:12.000 --> 00:37:14.719
<v Speaker 5>I am more about connection than like the people.

752
00:37:14.760 --> 00:37:17.639
<v Speaker 2>I like people I know there's nothing corny about that.

753
00:37:17.880 --> 00:37:20.559
<v Speaker 4>Actually, this this is particularly why I don't film as

754
00:37:20.639 --> 00:37:22.960
<v Speaker 4>much as I do lately, just because I mostly just

755
00:37:23.000 --> 00:37:24.559
<v Speaker 4>want to have sex with people I already know and

756
00:37:24.760 --> 00:37:25.400
<v Speaker 4>like having sex with.

757
00:37:25.519 --> 00:37:27.960
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and they can be friends, they can be like

758
00:37:28.039 --> 00:37:30.760
<v Speaker 5>it doesn't always have to be my boyfriend, but like you.

759
00:37:30.639 --> 00:37:32.639
<v Speaker 4>Were probably the last person I filmed with, to be honest, Yeah,

760
00:37:32.639 --> 00:37:34.440
<v Speaker 4>and that was a while ago, that minute.

761
00:37:34.880 --> 00:37:37.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but yeah, it takes it's like very rare that

762
00:37:37.519 --> 00:37:38.400
<v Speaker 2>like I have a collab.

763
00:37:39.280 --> 00:37:41.239
<v Speaker 5>I don't want to say very rare, but like and

764
00:37:41.280 --> 00:37:43.079
<v Speaker 5>there's like there's people I love working with, but it's

765
00:37:43.159 --> 00:37:46.159
<v Speaker 5>kind of rare that I find like chemistries there. I

766
00:37:46.199 --> 00:37:49.679
<v Speaker 5>find them attractive right like just objectively without.

767
00:37:49.480 --> 00:37:51.079
<v Speaker 2>Hearing them talk or getting to know them.

768
00:37:51.079 --> 00:37:53.400
<v Speaker 5>And then yeah, like I guess we can name names

769
00:37:53.440 --> 00:37:54.719
<v Speaker 5>and we're saying positive things, but.

770
00:37:54.639 --> 00:37:56.760
<v Speaker 2>Like please bend Bison. In London.

771
00:37:56.800 --> 00:37:58.719
<v Speaker 5>When I went there, it's like just so fun to

772
00:37:58.760 --> 00:38:00.639
<v Speaker 5>be around. Like I was like, do you just want

773
00:38:00.639 --> 00:38:02.280
<v Speaker 5>to follow me around all day? And like join all

774
00:38:02.280 --> 00:38:05.719
<v Speaker 5>my collapse And then I met I'm going back to London.

775
00:38:05.719 --> 00:38:07.880
<v Speaker 5>I was like, hey, I'm coming back, like join me.

776
00:38:08.440 --> 00:38:13.119
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, Ben bison. He's super sweet. Yeah, cool. Yeah.

777
00:38:13.159 --> 00:38:15.760
<v Speaker 4>Do you want to talk about what it's like dating

778
00:38:15.800 --> 00:38:18.239
<v Speaker 4>somebody while you're part of this industry because you have.

779
00:38:18.320 --> 00:38:21.360
<v Speaker 3>Dated someone who's not in it while you're like when

780
00:38:21.360 --> 00:38:22.679
<v Speaker 3>you're starting who was.

781
00:38:22.639 --> 00:38:25.519
<v Speaker 2>In the who was in the entertainment industry.

782
00:38:25.119 --> 00:38:28.280
<v Speaker 3>But not and and then you and now you're dating

783
00:38:28.320 --> 00:38:32.360
<v Speaker 3>somebody that has that has been in it for a while.

784
00:38:33.079 --> 00:38:36.519
<v Speaker 3>So what's what are some of the challenges with both?

785
00:38:37.000 --> 00:38:41.480
<v Speaker 5>Well, either way, you cannot have any kind of jealous boyfriend.

786
00:38:42.679 --> 00:38:45.119
<v Speaker 2>They have to just like really just accept you for

787
00:38:45.199 --> 00:38:45.760
<v Speaker 2>who you are.

788
00:38:45.960 --> 00:38:48.480
<v Speaker 5>They have to meet you where you're at in your

789
00:38:48.480 --> 00:38:51.280
<v Speaker 5>life at that moment and not try to change it

790
00:38:51.320 --> 00:38:53.400
<v Speaker 5>because you know, at the end of the day, that's

791
00:38:53.400 --> 00:38:58.519
<v Speaker 5>where you may make your money. And I mean, if

792
00:38:58.840 --> 00:39:00.920
<v Speaker 5>you don't do porn in your data, someone that does porn,

793
00:39:01.039 --> 00:39:03.559
<v Speaker 5>like I also like, that's got to be hard for

794
00:39:03.599 --> 00:39:05.400
<v Speaker 5>you because your boyfriend.

795
00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:07.920
<v Speaker 2>It's a choice. Yeah, it's a it's a choice, like

796
00:39:08.000 --> 00:39:08.480
<v Speaker 2>a choice.

797
00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:10.920
<v Speaker 5>I respect, like it shows that you love your partner

798
00:39:11.039 --> 00:39:13.960
<v Speaker 5>because it's not easy, and it's.

799
00:39:13.760 --> 00:39:18.280
<v Speaker 3>The choice that will like keep you making that choice

800
00:39:18.440 --> 00:39:21.280
<v Speaker 3>again and again, and as things come up, you'll have

801
00:39:21.320 --> 00:39:23.239
<v Speaker 3>to keep deciding to either do.

802
00:39:23.159 --> 00:39:24.039
<v Speaker 2>It yeah or stop.

803
00:39:24.280 --> 00:39:27.840
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, And I think that it's like I know one

804
00:39:27.880 --> 00:39:30.360
<v Speaker 5>of my good friends he does porn and his partner

805
00:39:30.400 --> 00:39:32.599
<v Speaker 5>does not, And I think it's kind of like just

806
00:39:32.639 --> 00:39:37.119
<v Speaker 5>shows his love more if he sets that all aside.

807
00:39:38.639 --> 00:39:40.960
<v Speaker 5>But yeah, like having someone that's just like fucking people

808
00:39:41.000 --> 00:39:43.679
<v Speaker 5>all the time and you don't like if you don't film,

809
00:39:43.800 --> 00:39:46.559
<v Speaker 5>you don't know that they're not like super into all

810
00:39:46.599 --> 00:39:49.000
<v Speaker 5>this sex they're having because you only perceive sex as

811
00:39:49.039 --> 00:39:52.360
<v Speaker 5>something you do when you want to right right, right right,

812
00:39:52.400 --> 00:39:54.760
<v Speaker 5>and not saying that like having sex for work is

813
00:39:54.960 --> 00:39:57.119
<v Speaker 5>like this big struggle, but it's like some days it's work,

814
00:39:57.880 --> 00:40:00.840
<v Speaker 5>like like just like you don't like going to work

815
00:40:00.840 --> 00:40:02.920
<v Speaker 5>some days, like I go, I don't want to go

816
00:40:02.920 --> 00:40:05.519
<v Speaker 5>to work some days, but I still do, right, Yeah,

817
00:40:05.559 --> 00:40:07.559
<v Speaker 5>even if I like my scene partner.

818
00:40:08.199 --> 00:40:10.719
<v Speaker 2>Do you see this happening for a lot longer? Are

819
00:40:10.760 --> 00:40:11.519
<v Speaker 2>you enjoying it?

820
00:40:11.800 --> 00:40:14.599
<v Speaker 5>I'm enjoying it now, Yeah, I do think. I mean,

821
00:40:14.800 --> 00:40:17.400
<v Speaker 5>no one can play this game for forever, right, But

822
00:40:17.440 --> 00:40:20.760
<v Speaker 5>also you can't do a lot of jobs for forever, right,

823
00:40:21.639 --> 00:40:23.800
<v Speaker 5>So I think I'll like keep my options. I'll keep

824
00:40:23.880 --> 00:40:27.960
<v Speaker 5>gently looking around and see what comes available.

825
00:40:28.039 --> 00:40:29.199
<v Speaker 2>What are you interested in?

826
00:40:29.440 --> 00:40:31.639
<v Speaker 3>Like so it would make you stop it right now

827
00:40:31.679 --> 00:40:33.159
<v Speaker 3>if you got busy doing.

828
00:40:32.960 --> 00:40:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Something that you really wanted to do. A rich husband

829
00:40:38.800 --> 00:40:41.920
<v Speaker 2>sounds great. I mean there's a lot of things I

830
00:40:41.960 --> 00:40:42.639
<v Speaker 2>would love to do.

831
00:40:42.800 --> 00:40:44.960
<v Speaker 5>I mean I really just like being busy and having

832
00:40:44.960 --> 00:40:47.280
<v Speaker 5>purpose and like, as long as it's not for a

833
00:40:47.320 --> 00:40:48.119
<v Speaker 5>shady business.

834
00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:50.400
<v Speaker 2>I like anything that keeps me busy.

835
00:40:51.079 --> 00:40:54.559
<v Speaker 5>I used to work in HR, which I liked because

836
00:40:54.559 --> 00:40:56.440
<v Speaker 5>it's kind of it was a job that was like

837
00:40:56.519 --> 00:41:02.519
<v Speaker 5>really like helped you helped me grow. Because there's ever

838
00:41:02.599 --> 00:41:04.400
<v Speaker 5>a problem, I kind of had to put it on

839
00:41:04.440 --> 00:41:05.400
<v Speaker 5>myself to fix.

840
00:41:05.199 --> 00:41:07.480
<v Speaker 2>It, like problem solving, yeah, or it's like a.

841
00:41:07.440 --> 00:41:10.519
<v Speaker 5>Problem with anyone, Like it was my job to fix it,

842
00:41:10.559 --> 00:41:13.920
<v Speaker 5>And like I like it's kind of helped with the

843
00:41:14.239 --> 00:41:18.840
<v Speaker 5>like personal accountability in general because it stops like the

844
00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:22.760
<v Speaker 5>boo who like blaming someone else for problems in your

845
00:41:22.800 --> 00:41:24.679
<v Speaker 5>life and just says like, well, I'm the only person

846
00:41:24.719 --> 00:41:26.559
<v Speaker 5>that can change my life, or like I'm the only

847
00:41:26.599 --> 00:41:30.719
<v Speaker 5>person I can control changing my life. So there's something wrong,

848
00:41:30.920 --> 00:41:32.519
<v Speaker 5>what can I do to fix it? Rather than going

849
00:41:32.519 --> 00:41:34.360
<v Speaker 5>to my boss and bitching.

850
00:41:34.320 --> 00:41:39.280
<v Speaker 4>Like where do you think that workhorse tendency comes from comes.

851
00:41:39.000 --> 00:41:41.719
<v Speaker 5>From being very much not that when I was younger,

852
00:41:41.760 --> 00:41:47.360
<v Speaker 5>I was super lazy, had no drive. I was diagnosed

853
00:41:47.360 --> 00:41:52.079
<v Speaker 5>ADHD like later in life, and then like adderall literally

854
00:41:52.159 --> 00:41:55.519
<v Speaker 5>changed me as a human being because I took it

855
00:41:55.559 --> 00:41:59.360
<v Speaker 5>for years religiously as prescribed, like Monday through Friday. I'd

856
00:41:59.400 --> 00:42:03.400
<v Speaker 5>take the smallest amount of my prescription on Monday, and

857
00:42:03.400 --> 00:42:05.239
<v Speaker 5>then by Friday was at the peak, and then I'd

858
00:42:05.280 --> 00:42:07.960
<v Speaker 5>take it. I do nothing on the weekends so that

859
00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:10.280
<v Speaker 5>I would like have time to so that Monday would

860
00:42:10.320 --> 00:42:14.719
<v Speaker 5>hit again. And it rewired my brain, gave me structure,

861
00:42:15.000 --> 00:42:17.760
<v Speaker 5>you know, did so so many right things, but after

862
00:42:17.800 --> 00:42:20.079
<v Speaker 5>a couple of years, it just wasn't working the same

863
00:42:20.119 --> 00:42:23.000
<v Speaker 5>way right and it took months to like get off

864
00:42:23.039 --> 00:42:26.199
<v Speaker 5>of it and be able to work without it. But

865
00:42:27.440 --> 00:42:29.599
<v Speaker 5>once I did, like now I feel like so much

866
00:42:29.639 --> 00:42:32.719
<v Speaker 5>more balanced because I still have those habitual like that

867
00:42:32.760 --> 00:42:35.559
<v Speaker 5>habitual structure that Adderal gave me, so I can like

868
00:42:35.639 --> 00:42:38.480
<v Speaker 5>set myself into like a like I really have to

869
00:42:38.519 --> 00:42:41.039
<v Speaker 5>like set my time, like plan my day, like this

870
00:42:41.119 --> 00:42:43.960
<v Speaker 5>is focus time, this is fun time. But I think

871
00:42:44.119 --> 00:42:46.719
<v Speaker 5>like taking adderle for years really just like taught me

872
00:42:46.760 --> 00:42:50.559
<v Speaker 5>the ability to focus, or gave me the habit.

873
00:42:50.719 --> 00:42:53.159
<v Speaker 4>I guess if you're like now, I just want to

874
00:42:53.199 --> 00:42:57.599
<v Speaker 4>focus on everything. Is there anything you're really excited about

875
00:42:57.639 --> 00:43:02.800
<v Speaker 4>as we close out the year besides your hair, trying

876
00:43:02.960 --> 00:43:06.400
<v Speaker 4>new head of hair, your new hair, lot of mons

877
00:43:06.400 --> 00:43:08.119
<v Speaker 4>and Brussels. I've never been to Brussels.

878
00:43:08.880 --> 00:43:13.159
<v Speaker 2>About that? Okay, what you're going to? What in Brussels?

879
00:43:13.159 --> 00:43:19.719
<v Speaker 2>What's that? Parties? Oh parties? We love those? Yeah around

880
00:43:20.199 --> 00:43:20.440
<v Speaker 2>you know?

881
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:27.880
<v Speaker 5>Yes, And I'm excited to go to London again, because London.

882
00:43:26.119 --> 00:43:29.559
<v Speaker 2>Because Benson, I clearly got this. Go to London and

883
00:43:29.599 --> 00:43:33.159
<v Speaker 2>see Ben Bison. You're welcome for the plug Ben Bison.

884
00:43:35.119 --> 00:43:37.000
<v Speaker 2>His handle is right.

885
00:43:39.360 --> 00:43:42.199
<v Speaker 4>Do we have anything else? I don't think so. I

886
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:44.559
<v Speaker 4>think I've covered all the bases. Is there anything else

887
00:43:44.599 --> 00:43:45.400
<v Speaker 4>you want to share with us?

888
00:43:45.400 --> 00:43:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Hayden Harding, No, I wish I could take some stuff back, but.

889
00:43:50.360 --> 00:43:54.960
<v Speaker 5>Late for that the world on the record, I wish

890
00:43:55.039 --> 00:43:55.719
<v Speaker 5>I had a filter.

891
00:43:56.000 --> 00:43:58.719
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I'll edit it and uh and just hold it

892
00:43:58.760 --> 00:44:01.320
<v Speaker 4>for ransom in case you ever pissed me off and

893
00:44:01.519 --> 00:44:03.480
<v Speaker 4>use that smile for evil instead of good.

894
00:44:03.639 --> 00:44:07.800
<v Speaker 2>Okay, just kidding. We love you.

895
00:44:07.840 --> 00:44:10.760
<v Speaker 4>I'm very happy it's been so successful and that you're

896
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:11.679
<v Speaker 4>having a good time.

897
00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:16.800
<v Speaker 2>And that you're our friend. Yeah, and that's it. We

898
00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:21.000
<v Speaker 2>just jumped into Hayden Harding like people like to do,

899
00:44:21.800 --> 00:44:22.880
<v Speaker 2>or have him jumped into you.

900
00:44:23.079 --> 00:44:23.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

901
00:44:23.440 --> 00:44:33.880
<v Speaker 2>That he's so good at it. Took care of here

902
00:44:33.920 --> 00:44:40.039
<v Speaker 2>the all right. Well, I'm Adam Ramsey and I'm Hayen Harding.

903
00:44:40.840 --> 00:44:43.599
<v Speaker 2>Sorry for asking. See you next time.

904
00:44:47.559 --> 00:44:48.119
<v Speaker 1>This has been.

905
00:44:48.280 --> 00:44:49.280
<v Speaker 2>Sorry for asking.

906
00:44:49.679 --> 00:44:53.440
<v Speaker 3>Be sure to like, comment and subscribe, and until next time,

907
00:44:54.239 --> 00:45:00.440
<v Speaker 3>stay sexy.

908
00:45:02.159 --> 00:45:03.039
<v Speaker 1>Where they lived