Speaker 1: For members only. Golf Smarter number three hundred and seventy two,
Speaker 1: published on February twenty six, twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2: Welcome to golf Smarter Mulligans, your second chance to gain
Speaker 2: insight and advice from the best instructors featured on the
Speaker 2: Golf Smarter podcast. Great Golf Instruction Never Gets Old. Our
Speaker 2: interview library features hundreds of hours of game improvement conversations
Speaker 2: like this that are no longer available in any podcast app.
Speaker 3: Before you get to hit the ball, compose yourself and say, Okay,
Speaker 3: the trainer inside is trying to get me to play
Speaker 3: at my ultimate best. So I'm not gonna believe it anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm going to turn my doubt inside out. If you
Speaker 3: take the word doubt and re scramble it, you get
Speaker 3: two words too, bud to bud, to grow, to blossom.
Speaker 3: So the doubt has never been here to take us
Speaker 3: down as it appears to be.
Speaker 4: It's here to rise us up.
Speaker 3: Before you hit the ball, stop if you've bitten into
Speaker 3: it already.
Speaker 4: You got to neutralize. This is perfection.
Speaker 3: Once you've getten used to this, this is going to
Speaker 3: be done in seconds and now instead of I'm going
Speaker 3: to screw up.
Speaker 4: Oh, this is a golden opportunity.
Speaker 3: This is ready to begin a new life for me
Speaker 3: here at this hole, and I'm going to hit it
Speaker 3: exactly where I.
Speaker 4: Want it, regardless where the ball goes.
Speaker 3: How does that feel to put that thought in of
Speaker 3: what you've experienced all along.
Speaker 1: Before turn your doubt into an asset With author Kerrie Valentine.
Speaker 4: This is Golf Smarter.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Golf Smarter for members only.
Speaker 4: Carrie, how's it going Gray, Great to be here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for coming into the studio today and sitting
Speaker 1: down and having a conversation. You wrote a book that
Speaker 1: really has nothing to do with golf. You wrote a
Speaker 1: book called In Love Forever. That's right, Well, actually that
Speaker 1: is completely about golf. I mean, if you've talked to golfers,
Speaker 1: you know that it's just this passion that I want
Speaker 1: to apologize the audience for saying this, but golf is
Speaker 1: a mistress. Yeah, you know, you think about it way
Speaker 1: too much. You're in a room by yourself looking in
Speaker 1: the mirror and you're thinking about golf. It's kind of sick.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I guess In Life Forever is totally about golf.
Speaker 1: It's perfect. But but in looking through your book. There's
Speaker 1: this chapter that you come across here and it's like
Speaker 1: this is screaming out golf and it's it's talking about doubt.
Speaker 1: Tell me where you go, you know what your premise
Speaker 1: is on this and why you think this does relate
Speaker 1: to golf, and we'll get to your conversations with professional golfer.
Speaker 4: Sure, thanks, Frey.
Speaker 3: Well, let me start off to just say, you know,
Speaker 3: it's talking about you know, I'm so fast about the
Speaker 3: inner game, the inner game of life, but in this
Speaker 3: case the inner game of golf, because from the inner
Speaker 3: game and working it, you can improve your game, lower
Speaker 3: your scores, enjoy yourself more on the course and in
Speaker 3: your life as well. So the doubts, you know, some
Speaker 3: call it the inner demons, you know things like this. Uh,
Speaker 3: we deal with it on the golf course and in
Speaker 3: our life. And I dealt with it so much in
Speaker 3: my life that I really took some time in my
Speaker 3: life to turn it all around. And I call it
Speaker 3: your turn your doubts inside out and realize in my
Speaker 3: life that I grew up playing music and as performing
Speaker 3: around the world, and yet still constant negativity in my head.
Speaker 3: Or you stink you're worthless, you're no good And yet
Speaker 3: it was having awards or winning you know, great opportunities,
Speaker 3: but inside was really you know, haunting me. Why well
Speaker 3: I thought, I didn't really know why. At first, I
Speaker 3: just thought there was this you know, negative stuff in
Speaker 3: my head. All I wanted to do was be happy,
Speaker 3: and all I was was unhappy until a moment that
Speaker 3: really changed my life.
Speaker 4: While I was.
Speaker 3: Really taking time out to focus on what was going
Speaker 3: on and really interrogate my thoughts, and in that process
Speaker 3: s fread I heard, did you ever think that all
Speaker 3: those negative thoughts carry are your best friends, your coach,
Speaker 3: your trainer, kind of like Mickey and Rocky, you know,
Speaker 3: trying to like, come on, you bum you could have
Speaker 3: been something, you know, and Mickey was always trying to
Speaker 3: you know, get Rocky to be his best and you know,
Speaker 3: eventually got there. So I realized when that happened to
Speaker 3: turn my doubts inside out, that they're actually there to
Speaker 3: uplift me and befriend me. That I had to start
Speaker 3: believing in myself rather than believing that I that I stunk,
Speaker 3: and that changed everything around.
Speaker 4: That was the beginning, and how did you get there?
Speaker 4: The beginning of the change.
Speaker 1: Made you start to understand that it was.
Speaker 3: Pain is a life is a great messenger, a pain,
Speaker 3: pain pain. I was on the brink. I was on
Speaker 3: the brink of divorce with my wife, and over time,
Speaker 3: just these negative thoughts just built up to where I
Speaker 3: just I was so encapsulated by them. I just didn't
Speaker 3: know how to deal with it anymore. And I kinda,
Speaker 3: you know, screamed out to the universe, you know, like
Speaker 3: you know, what the hell's going on here? And then
Speaker 3: I had this moment that it's hard to explain. It
Speaker 3: may sound strange, but I did hear inside my.
Speaker 4: Head just those thoughts. Carrie. Did you ever think that
Speaker 4: all that negativity was actually a coach, a trainer, that
Speaker 4: these thoughts were trying to get you to love yourself more?
Speaker 4: And that began the shift.
Speaker 3: And because I have a meditation background, I was really
Speaker 3: able then to start slowing down the thoughts and catching
Speaker 3: them and go, oh, that's I started seeing repeated patterns
Speaker 3: of the same kind of words where I didn't realize
Speaker 3: they happened so quick that I would just bite into
Speaker 3: it and believe it was true, like you stink, you
Speaker 3: can't or in a golf sense, and what it was
Speaker 3: really doing. I learned to slow it down, and not
Speaker 3: only slow it down, but rewind it, interrogate and go,
Speaker 3: what did I just hear you say? And then I'd hear, oh,
Speaker 3: you stink. And then I realized, hearing that is like
Speaker 3: a knock on the door, you know, it was like
Speaker 3: a memo you stink, but we respond And I responded
Speaker 3: so quickly that I actually like would bite into that thought,
Speaker 3: like believe it was true. And then I would feel
Speaker 3: like this dark, heavy cloud come over me and more
Speaker 3: insecure and all of that. You know, we can relate
Speaker 3: to that too, maybe as a as a golfer. So
Speaker 3: then I again I slowed it down and realized those
Speaker 3: were two separate experiences. First was the thought that you stink,
Speaker 3: and then was the bite into it. And so I
Speaker 3: learned to stop biting and then also catch the thought.
Speaker 3: When the thought was you stink, I stopped and I
Speaker 3: heard it and I accepted it. I go, that's right,
Speaker 3: I do stink. But as Uncle Albert Einstein said, there's
Speaker 3: a for everything in the universe has its.
Speaker 4: Equal in opposite.
Speaker 3: So then I started putting in, Oh my gosh, if
Speaker 3: I hear you stink, that's really telling me I'm good,
Speaker 3: not like an egotistical way, but to start believing in
Speaker 3: myself that I was good because I never really put
Speaker 3: that in. It was almost like I had two arms
Speaker 3: and one arm never worked. And then then I started
Speaker 3: putting it in. Oh, I accept it, I stink, I
Speaker 3: laugh at it. I release that, and then I put
Speaker 3: in I'm good in that regard, and.
Speaker 1: You say so, you embrace it, and then you put
Speaker 1: in your good where I mean, how do you what
Speaker 1: is it insert here?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 3: So if I did, okay, So if I hear I
Speaker 3: stink and I didn't bite, meaning like I didn't feel
Speaker 3: like I didn't believe it and didn't go down the
Speaker 3: well of despair like with negative feelings and get all
Speaker 3: tense or nervous. If I did, I will do you know,
Speaker 3: I would use a phrase that is called this is perfection,
Speaker 3: and I would use that as a mantra, this is perfection,
Speaker 3: this is perfection. That would help me kind of slow
Speaker 3: down that negative train and then at least I'd find
Speaker 3: myself back in my center. And then once I was
Speaker 3: kind of back in my center, it might not have
Speaker 3: been perfect, but I knew I wasn't still traveling down
Speaker 3: that downward spiral. Then I would put in the opposite
Speaker 3: of what I heard. So if I heard you stink,
Speaker 3: then I put in you're good, and it would, and
Speaker 3: I start putting it you're good, you're good, you're good,
Speaker 3: and it would. At first, it was mechanical, it was like,
Speaker 3: you're full of it, carry you know, what are you.
Speaker 4: Doing saying this?
Speaker 3: But eventually, because I kept doing it, I would feel
Speaker 3: a flow go through my body that it wasn't for me,
Speaker 3: it was something that was happening. And then I would
Speaker 3: just be like, really, really, some amazing thing would happen.
Speaker 3: So every time now that I hear the doubt, like
Speaker 3: you know, don't call that person, or you know, you
Speaker 3: know you're going to hit the ball, you know, and
Speaker 3: you know way off course, I go, ah, great, thank
Speaker 3: you for saying that, because you want me to stop
Speaker 3: and slow down and know that when I'm going to
Speaker 3: be ready to hit that ball, I'm going to hit
Speaker 3: it exactly where I want it.
Speaker 4: And that's what the whole point of the doubt is.
Speaker 2: Let me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you were a drummer.
Speaker 4: Yes, I have a great story about this.
Speaker 1: On your downtime is when you would I would assume
Speaker 1: is when you would beat yourself up. How often while
Speaker 1: you were performing did you say to yourself, I sock,
Speaker 1: I stink, I'm no good at first?
Speaker 4: A lot of times. The comparisons.
Speaker 3: Uh. I went to school at Berkeley College of Music.
Speaker 1: Uh so in Boston.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in Boston, Well you don't stink, dude, well, but
Speaker 3: but still internally at that point I had a really
Speaker 3: low esteem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you're coming out of high school. This is
Speaker 1: college for you.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, low self esteem, low confidence. And I'm up
Speaker 3: against six hundred other drummers. Sure everyone is better than
Speaker 3: the next. So even though I went from being the
Speaker 3: big fish in the small pond, I went to Berkeley
Speaker 3: being the really small fish in the big pond. And
Speaker 3: I did work my way back to that place, but
Speaker 3: it took a lot and a lot of negativity, you know, comparisons,
Speaker 3: and while I was playing, or or see another drummer
Speaker 3: in the in the audience, and you know that I
Speaker 3: knew it was better than me, and then you know
Speaker 3: I kind of like flinch a little or things like
Speaker 3: that would happen.
Speaker 1: Really, so you're not getting lost in in where you
Speaker 1: are musically, what measure you're.
Speaker 4: On on, what's going on, Oh yes, I was too.
Speaker 1: You were getting lost in that, but then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you're distracted and and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: you start beating yourself up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great point too, Fred, because a part
Speaker 3: of my experience is doing classical percussion, classical orchestral playing,
Speaker 3: and a lot of times as a drummer, you're you're
Speaker 3: you're counting like fifty measures and silence, and then you
Speaker 3: have one little hit. Well in the middle of twenty two, three, four,
Speaker 3: twenty three, the thought is what's for dinner tonight? You
Speaker 3: canna have pizza?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm lost. I was like, oh no, and that.
Speaker 3: My focus as a younger person was way off. And
Speaker 3: then I just working this. I would say like, okay,
Speaker 3: tighten down the focus, Nott, and just really sharpened from
Speaker 3: that place and really working it. My total playing changed.
Speaker 3: I became like in the zone in the game all
Speaker 3: the time. I brought myself there, but with being kind
Speaker 3: of almost lack of days ago, I was like ready
Speaker 3: to be attacked, but the attack was never to harm me,
Speaker 3: was just just get me to be at the best
Speaker 3: of my game, which brings me to this amazing story.
Speaker 3: Thank you that after years already of working this I left.
Speaker 3: This was an Idaho you know, this kind of four
Speaker 3: year stint living in the desert and really uh working
Speaker 3: as a scientist and living like a monk. And then
Speaker 3: I left Idaho went to Vermont to re engage back
Speaker 3: in life. And quickly thereafter a friend of mine that
Speaker 3: I met in Brazil who is now living in Germany
Speaker 3: because I lived in Brazil for a year performing and touring.
Speaker 3: His name's Tony Osannah. He called me up and said,
Speaker 3: I'm coming, you know, let's let's do some shows. And
Speaker 3: it was like in a matter of two weeks, put
Speaker 3: this huge concert together. And he shows up the day
Speaker 3: before our this concert. We did a show at you know,
Speaker 3: some schools to do some promotion, and then we didn't
Speaker 3: really practice much, but in our experience we kind of
Speaker 3: worked together intuitively anyway. But still here I am walking
Speaker 3: on stage and I hear in my head, you are
Speaker 3: gonna so suck tonight. You didn't rehearse, you don't even
Speaker 3: know the songles you're gonna do. You are gonna embarrass
Speaker 3: yourself so big time in this new community. And I
Speaker 3: caught it because by that time I had practiced so
Speaker 3: much with this, and I was.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, I know what you're here for. You've showed up.
Speaker 3: Because if if I dare, if I dare to hold
Speaker 3: myself kind of like a Jedi, here, something amazing is
Speaker 3: about to happen. And what I did Fred is like, Okay, suckers,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna ride Tony's butt like Zoro tonight.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just.
Speaker 3: Emotionally be so connected to him and internally just support
Speaker 3: him musically that it's just gonna be awesome. And amazingly,
Speaker 3: the concert was exceptional. It was just like on fire,
Speaker 3: and people at intermission was like, what's going on here?
Speaker 4: I haven't heard this kind of music in Electricity in years. Wow.
Speaker 3: And the magic kept on going because we we you know,
Speaker 3: I just kind of sound at sound check said to
Speaker 3: the sound engineer can we record this? And he's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: we could, but I don't have the equipment. I said,
Speaker 3: I have it at home. I'll bring it back. I
Speaker 3: brought it back, he hooked it up, he recorded it,
Speaker 3: and he said, you know, at the end of the concert,
Speaker 3: he's like, Carrie, I didn't have the ability to mix
Speaker 3: the sound. So whatever we got is what we got.
Speaker 3: And we heard the recording and it was magic. It
Speaker 3: was perfect. We just made some edits and now we
Speaker 3: have this CD that people can hear.
Speaker 1: Oh great, that's a long witted plug.
Speaker 4: It wasn't intended.
Speaker 3: It was just more about the you know what magic
Speaker 3: can happen when we step up?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Right?
Speaker 1: And and it's so interesting because you're talking about performance
Speaker 1: anxiety and whether you're performing for an audience or whether
Speaker 1: they're in golf, you're performing for yourself. I mean you
Speaker 1: there's you can be walking down the fairway going I
Speaker 1: really don't want to take this sh I'm really nervous
Speaker 1: about this shot. I hate this shot. I wish I
Speaker 1: would you right, So you're you're beating yourself up in
Speaker 1: that way.
Speaker 4: Now go ahead, So here we go.
Speaker 3: So you hear that or you heard I've always screwed
Speaker 3: up this shot every time at this course.
Speaker 4: I hit it.
Speaker 3: Right. So catch yourself. Catch yourself as you hear that,
Speaker 3: and before you get to hit the ball, you know,
Speaker 3: just compose yourself and say, okay, this is happening because
Speaker 3: all along the trainer inside is trying to get me
Speaker 3: to play at my ultimate best. So I'm not going
Speaker 3: to bite into that thought. I'm not gonna believe it anymore.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna turn my doubt inside out. Here's a funny
Speaker 3: thing to fred that if you take the word doubt
Speaker 3: and re scramble it, you get two words t O
Speaker 3: b U d two bud to.
Speaker 4: Grow to blossom.
Speaker 3: So the doubt has never been here to take us
Speaker 3: down as it appears to be. It's here to rise
Speaker 3: us up. So before you hit the ball, stop hear
Speaker 3: yourself and start putting. If you've bitten into it already,
Speaker 3: you got to neutralize. Remember, this is perfection. This is perfection,
Speaker 3: and this can happen once you've getten used to this.
Speaker 3: This can be done in seconds. So then you're ready
Speaker 3: to hit the ball. And now instead of I'm going
Speaker 3: to screw up. Oh, this is a golden opportunity. This
Speaker 3: is ready to begin a new life for me here
Speaker 3: at this hole, and I'm going to hit it exactly
Speaker 3: where I want it. How does that feel to put
Speaker 3: that in, regardless where the ball goes. How does that
Speaker 3: feel to put that thought in of what you've experienced
Speaker 3: all along before? Isn't that a total shift?
Speaker 4: Yeah? In your thinking?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, And from there now the opportunity can happen where
Speaker 3: you can relax, get in the zone and totally transform
Speaker 3: your game at that hole.
Speaker 1: Amazing. I'm struggling with the perfect part.
Speaker 4: Okay, what it is?
Speaker 1: I well, I don't I don't think perfect perfection exists. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: especially well there is no perfection in golf. Yeah, right,
Speaker 1: so so let's educate me on that.
Speaker 4: What are we saying, great question?
Speaker 3: This is perfection is reference to when we have bitten
Speaker 3: into that doubt, like I'm going to screw up, and
Speaker 3: then we start it's not just words anymore. We feel it.
Speaker 3: We feel like, right, you feel like a little darkness
Speaker 3: around us or heaviness. Right, So so we're in that
Speaker 3: what I call a downward spiral. And so this is
Speaker 3: perfection is it's not about that things are perfect. It's
Speaker 3: not whether you like it or not. It's just a
Speaker 3: phrase that creates neutrality. And then it just kind of
Speaker 3: slows that train down and brings yourself back up to
Speaker 3: a neutrality base so that you're you can then put
Speaker 3: in in a few moments to a few minutes time
Speaker 3: before you hit that ball, I'm going to hit this
Speaker 3: really well, and you can start believing it. So this
Speaker 3: is perfection, it's it's not about you know how things are.
Speaker 3: It's just a neutral phrase to kind of put the
Speaker 3: brake on the train, on the negative train, Yes, on
Speaker 3: the negative trend.
Speaker 1: You you have a book here that you brought to
Speaker 1: show me that you kind of like base thing your
Speaker 1: your your golf concept on the path path to Golf
Speaker 1: Mastery Quantum Golf Yes, by you said Jella and Hunger, Yeah,
Speaker 1: from nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: So what is it about this book that you know
Speaker 1: with with quotes from Deepak Chopra and Joan Carner, and
Speaker 1: what is it about this book that caught your eye
Speaker 1: that made you think that the stuff that you're writing
Speaker 1: about really does apply to golf in golfers?
Speaker 4: Great? Great question.
Speaker 3: In the book the there's a golfer who is a
Speaker 3: is a New York City business person, has had lessons,
Speaker 3: plays well, but is uptight, and the trainer, the golf
Speaker 3: pro is in another zone. And at first the guy
Speaker 3: from New York is kind of like perplexed, like he's
Speaker 3: because he goes to Iowa in the first place, and
Speaker 3: he's like, what am I going to learn in Iowa?
Speaker 3: But that just is the beginning to open him up
Speaker 3: and to relax and to get into his authentic swing.
Speaker 3: So the trainer is telling him, like he can't tell
Speaker 3: him at first because the cup is over over full,
Speaker 3: but he's really wanting to clear out the doubts, you know,
Speaker 3: his tension that the trainer says, you know, in our mind,
Speaker 3: the doubts are going to be there, so we're got
Speaker 3: to trick our mind. And so when you start swinging,
Speaker 3: say the words super fluid, super fluid, and in that
Speaker 3: it does change change the golfer's ability to start hitting
Speaker 3: the ball more in a relaxed rhythm, and it begins
Speaker 3: the change. And the difference that I take on from
Speaker 3: the book is that he's saying the doubts are always
Speaker 3: going to be there. And what happened to me that
Speaker 3: not only I totally changed it around where there's no
Speaker 3: more like I don't have to trick the doubts. I
Speaker 3: befriend them. I put my arm around them.
Speaker 1: The buddies are going to be there, yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 1: how you deal with them, they are.
Speaker 3: But here's the cool thing, Fred that I've noticed in
Speaker 3: myself and other working with others in this that eventually
Speaker 3: the doubts no longer need to show up because you've
Speaker 3: accepted them, and you've already started to put in yourself.
Speaker 3: I am going to hit the ball whale, I am
Speaker 3: going to hit the ball straight. I am going to
Speaker 3: play well and enjoy myself on this course this day.
Speaker 3: So when you are doing that and in putting that
Speaker 3: into yourself, the doubt is again is a memo. It's
Speaker 3: only there to say, put in this stuff that you're
Speaker 3: not putting in. So when you're putting in the positive,
Speaker 3: it doesn't need to show up anymore, and it won't. However,
Speaker 3: your game's gonna raise, You're going to get better, you're
Speaker 3: gonna get clearer, your scores are going to get lower.
Speaker 3: The doubt is kind of like the trainer that's always
Speaker 3: there to get you better, always, you know, bettering you.
Speaker 3: So the storms may lessen, but their blows may be stronger.
Speaker 3: But so again. But when you realize when all of
Speaker 3: a sudden you're playing and you know, like you know,
Speaker 3: you are overwhelmed by feeling or fear or something. When
Speaker 3: you've practiced this, then you realize, whoo, something again is
Speaker 3: amazing about to happen. If here's the choice, here's the keyword,
Speaker 3: the choice to not bite into it, but to refocus
Speaker 3: reframe it to get on track, and then you go
Speaker 3: wow something when the realization something amazing is about to
Speaker 3: happen here, and you you clear that space and again
Speaker 3: you get in the zone.
Speaker 1: You had the opportunity to take these thoughts that you
Speaker 1: know from this book and put it in a perspective
Speaker 1: of the golf and what you were writing about. And
Speaker 1: you live in Hawaii. Yes, now all over the place
Speaker 1: man on car. Yeah, and so you got a chance.
Speaker 1: Tell me tell me about this pass that you just
Speaker 1: handed me to the to the twenty thirteen sony open. Yeah,
Speaker 1: media paths, Well, I tell me more.
Speaker 3: You know, here is my own if I could be
Speaker 3: really transparent, my own story with this is uh well,
Speaker 3: first of all, you help me make that possible.
Speaker 4: And I'm really grateful because.
Speaker 3: I needed a media outlet to to apply with and
Speaker 3: I shared with them what I would doing and they
Speaker 3: just said no problem. You know, I applied and they
Speaker 3: I got back to pass.
Speaker 4: So so here.
Speaker 1: That you you accused Golf Smarter of being a media
Speaker 1: outlet and they bought it. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna try
Speaker 1: that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got you in to an not that Okay,
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, go right ahead. Yeah, So here I am.
Speaker 3: You know, I had been to the tournament before but
Speaker 3: not nearly but never is like part of the media, and.
Speaker 4: I didn't know what to expect.
Speaker 3: A few days before I went, I was really I
Speaker 3: woke up with cold sweats.
Speaker 4: I was so nervous. I was hearing in my head,
Speaker 4: who the hell are you? What do you think you
Speaker 4: are going to this?
Speaker 3: Like you know, and I and I was yeah and real,
Speaker 3: you know, like I was intending to have the opportunity
Speaker 3: to to interview some of the wives because again, I'm
Speaker 3: the main thing that I do as a relationship coach
Speaker 3: and working with people on relationship stuff and this growing
Speaker 3: now expansiveness of coaching golfers. So I was real curious
Speaker 3: to talk to the wives about, you know, just what
Speaker 3: life is like and things of that nature. And there
Speaker 3: were a few things potentially set up, but the week
Speaker 3: before the tournament in Maui got delayed because of all
Speaker 3: the wind and all that. So there were all the
Speaker 3: players from there that I had some set up things
Speaker 3: with that weren't there. So I was like, okay, new moment,
Speaker 3: and so here I am in the media room like
Speaker 3: a you know, first kid, like you know, first day
Speaker 3: of school, kind of kind of scared, like you don't
Speaker 3: know who everyone is and stuff, and they don't know you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and the new kid at school. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I walk in and you know, there's all these desks,
Speaker 3: you know, like set up with computers and people who
Speaker 3: they are. And there was a photographer next to me
Speaker 3: who had like five huge cameras and was downloading his
Speaker 3: pictures on his computer. And just started talking to him.
Speaker 3: And you know, as we were talking, I was more transparent,
Speaker 3: told them what I wanted to do. He said, oh,
Speaker 3: these guys you know from the PGA, you know, just
Speaker 3: tell them what you wanted to do, and they'll, you know,
Speaker 3: they'll work it out with you to interview some of
Speaker 3: the golfers. And I was like, wow, really, and so
Speaker 3: I did. I talked to the guys and they said sure,
Speaker 3: you know, there'll be some conference conferences that will be happening.
Speaker 3: And then I said, okay, great, And then you know,
Speaker 3: it's just kind of like serendipitous. I was walking around
Speaker 3: the course, you know, before this is again, before the
Speaker 3: tournament started. It was like Tuesday or Wednesday, and I
Speaker 3: hear a few guys talking in the stands and I
Speaker 3: see a bunch of kids and I get closer and
Speaker 3: I go, oh, my gosh, there's Stuart's sync. And he
Speaker 3: was talking to the kids kind of like doing you know,
Speaker 3: a little training with them. And after the meeting happened
Speaker 3: and the kids were, you know, getting their signatures on
Speaker 3: the balls and hats and things like that, I asked them,
Speaker 3: can I talk to you about the inner game?
Speaker 4: And he was so gracious.
Speaker 3: I was really taken because again, my world has mostly
Speaker 3: been in the music field and I deal with a
Speaker 3: bunch of divas, you know, like you know, at that level.
Speaker 3: But he was just so human, so transparent, so honest,
Speaker 3: and I said, you know, talk to me, you know
Speaker 3: about do you have challenges with doubts? And he's like, dude,
Speaker 3: oh my god, for sure, really and yeah, And he
Speaker 3: was very open and shared with me how he's worked to,
Speaker 3: like he used the word interrogate his thoughts while he's playing,
Speaker 3: and when he's noticed things are going sour, he reminds
Speaker 3: himself to what's it all about? Why is he here
Speaker 3: in the first place, and that love of the game,
Speaker 3: and that helps him refocus and get back to playing
Speaker 3: well again. And I was very, very impressed with his humanness,
Speaker 3: and he shared with me about his experience of working
Speaker 3: with a mental coach and how that's helped him not
Speaker 3: only with his game, but with his life with his
Speaker 3: wife and his relationship and all of those pieces actually
Speaker 3: has helped him in his game on the course as well.
Speaker 1: Wow yeah wow.
Speaker 3: And I also had the opportunity to talk to Johnson Wagner,
Speaker 3: who won the tournament to Sony Open the year prior,
Speaker 3: and I asked him kind of what kind of suggestions
Speaker 3: would you have for amateurs to deal with the doubts
Speaker 3: and deal with that inner game challenge, and he said,
Speaker 3: slow down, you know, just compose yourself and that really
Speaker 3: helps him just to get back to himself.
Speaker 4: And then again did he.
Speaker 1: Did he talk about doubt at all or.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, he didn't get into great detail at
Speaker 3: that moment because it was at a press conference, but
Speaker 3: he did say the suggestion to amateurs really slow down
Speaker 3: your game, take time, and really again get in a sense,
Speaker 3: get back in your zone, get find your authentic swing
Speaker 3: in that place, feel feel it. And and then again
Speaker 3: just walking on the course, Uh, there was you know,
Speaker 3: passing by the satellite trucks and there's Frank nobleo, you know,
Speaker 3: hanging out a you know, like a golf cart with
Speaker 3: a bunch of buddies, and my heart starts beating, like
Speaker 3: should I go say hi to him?
Speaker 4: Because you know, you know, I watched him.
Speaker 3: I like what Frank you know, you know, talks about
Speaker 3: in the in the game, and and I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 3: let's do it.
Speaker 4: And then my mind's like, you can't do that, you know,
Speaker 4: you know, who are you to go talk to him?
Speaker 3: Well, again, serendipitous, something happened Fred where a bunch of
Speaker 3: the guys something, you know, they they as I was
Speaker 3: walking past them, left the area and Frank was just
Speaker 3: left with one or two guys. I kind of, like,
Speaker 3: you know, cautiously walked up to him and I introduced myself,
Speaker 3: and he was again the most gracious human being you
Speaker 3: know of And I talked to him about the inner
Speaker 3: game and he's like, Kerry, you know, because I share
Speaker 3: with him about you know, the musical world and how
Speaker 3: the players at this level or the musician at this
Speaker 3: level you know often a pretty aloof and won't give
Speaker 3: you the time of day.
Speaker 4: And he's like, well, golf, where's you down? Man?
Speaker 3: He's like, it rips you apart. You know, you hardly
Speaker 3: ever win, and it makes you honest. And he said,
Speaker 3: that's why a lot of these guys like because I
Speaker 3: share with him how my experience was. He' said, yeah,
Speaker 3: they're just you know, they're just doing their life, they're
Speaker 3: doing their game. And and I was, I was really taken.
Speaker 3: I was really like, these people were just people with
Speaker 3: me and embracing me and giving me time, not like,
Speaker 3: you know, pushing me away, because who the heck am I?
Speaker 3: You know, I'm just this guy showing up and asking
Speaker 3: them these questions. So I took a lot from that
Speaker 3: experience and was incredibly impressed.
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, have you ever noticed how athletes want to
Speaker 1: be musicians and musicians want to be athletes?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Someay, sure, there's a lot of musicialll esventually musicians in
Speaker 1: golf because yeah, they work at night. Yeah, so what
Speaker 1: do you do during the day? Yeah, only go to
Speaker 1: so many movies? Right, So, and when you're traveling a lot,
Speaker 1: you bring your sticks and you get to play golf. Fascinating.
Speaker 1: Tell me about your foundation.
Speaker 3: Ah, the Lotus Arts Foundation, Yes, please sure. The Lotus
Speaker 3: Arts Foundation was established in nineteen eighty eight. It initially
Speaker 3: was to solely. At that point, I was running a
Speaker 3: SPA an areavidk SPA retreat in Colorado, So there's been a.
Speaker 4: Lot of places yeah life. Yeah, And initially it.
Speaker 3: Was set up to give scholarships to people, but then
Speaker 3: things kind of grew and I was starting to do
Speaker 3: a music residencies and tours in schools around the country
Speaker 3: for kids with music. So then we expanded it to
Speaker 3: the music and arts and that was really awesome, And
Speaker 3: that's kind of the base from where it's at now.
Speaker 3: And now again it's growing to incorporate this human psychological
Speaker 3: element to where I give talks and around the country,
Speaker 3: and it's and helping people to deal with their inner
Speaker 3: game of life, with their relationships and now with golf
Speaker 3: as well, and with business too. You know, like so
Speaker 3: many times, you know, I meet up with people who
Speaker 3: are you.
Speaker 1: Know, going into meetings say I suck, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And I see just just this part alone about turning
Speaker 3: your doubts inside out is it's its power and effect
Speaker 3: is so vast. And by turning it around and go
Speaker 3: when you hear like going into a business meeting, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna screw this up or whatever, put on the brakes
Speaker 3: and catch it and go, oh, this is really exciting,
Speaker 3: this is awesome. Why because I just heard I suck
Speaker 3: and what is that? It's not telling me I'm going
Speaker 3: to I'm going to do bad. No, it's actually saying
Speaker 3: if I pay attention here and put in the thought that, Okay,
Speaker 3: I accept that I'm going to suck at this business
Speaker 3: meeting and I'm not going to get the contract or
Speaker 3: whatever I'm looking for, and you just accept that and
Speaker 3: then you put in oh, but it's really telling me
Speaker 3: there's some magic waiting to happen if that powerful letter word,
Speaker 3: two letter word, if I step up here, and if
Speaker 3: you do this, your totally energy changes. You become vibrant
Speaker 3: and your glow and the success happens. And I've seen
Speaker 3: it time and again, unbelievable.
Speaker 1: Tell me now about your book and how we can
Speaker 1: access these you know, specific chapters. Now, a book again
Speaker 1: is in Love Forever and it's all about your relationships
Speaker 1: and whatnot. But there are elements that you think that
Speaker 1: are very specific for golfers in there. So what yes
Speaker 1: you suggests? And also I just want to say that
Speaker 1: the quantum golf the path to golf mastery, which now
Speaker 1: do you see this as a helpful thing, or you
Speaker 1: saw it as.
Speaker 3: A totally totally help totally wonderful primer for getting you know,
Speaker 3: finding yourself and and and readjusting, because you know, when
Speaker 3: you get caught in the doubt, it creates fear, and
Speaker 3: the fear leads to restriction in your swing, and the
Speaker 3: mind gets all confused your you know, and your swing
Speaker 3: gets all over the place and so resulting in you know,
Speaker 3: mistakes and you.
Speaker 4: You get all tied up and not.
Speaker 3: So the book really is talking about how to refocus
Speaker 3: and calm yourself to again, like using the the legend
Speaker 3: of bager Vance, find your authentic swing. I think it's
Speaker 3: it's very inspiring and and it's a quick read.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's only one hundred pages plus. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's not that much more than one hundred pages. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: the epilog starts on page one oh seven. But what
Speaker 1: I'm going to do is the book is is still available,
Speaker 1: so I'm going to put it in our in our
Speaker 1: golfers mart on golf Smarter dot com, so we'll have
Speaker 1: so if you go into the book section, you'll see
Speaker 1: you can pick up that book, Quantum Golf The Path
Speaker 1: to Golf Mastery by somebody named Shelle and Hunger. But
Speaker 1: your book and your chapter, how does Golf Smarter remember
Speaker 1: and listener get to.
Speaker 4: That great question?
Speaker 3: So the book in Love Forever that I've written with
Speaker 3: my past, my late wife Wendy, Seven Secrets to a Joyous,
Speaker 3: Juicy Relationship. The book is in the process right now
Speaker 3: of being edited and then it's going to be released
Speaker 3: and published in the meantime. I would love to be
Speaker 3: able to give this chapter about doubts to those that
Speaker 3: are interested. So I think, and I truly feel, it'll
Speaker 3: be a great help to the golf enthusiasts listening today.
Speaker 3: So what if they email you Fred?
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's a PDF for something, Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: So what we can do is if you go ahead
Speaker 1: and click on the Heyfred button at Golfsmarter dot com
Speaker 1: and say that you want to get the chapter about
Speaker 1: doubt from Carrie Valentine. I will forward that off to
Speaker 1: Carrie and you can have a conversation with Carrie and
Speaker 1: even for sure from.
Speaker 4: Charac because that's what he's doing. Yeah, I would love
Speaker 4: to great.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, it's really been helpful and I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you were able to get the media passed by
Speaker 1: lying about golf smarter and best of luck on this.
Speaker 1: I hope it goes well for you. I hope you
Speaker 1: get a lot of response and that it starts picking up.
Speaker 4: Thanks so much, thank you so much for having me here.
Speaker 4: Fred I really enjoyed this