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Speaker 1: For members only. Golf Smarter number three hundred and seventy two,

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published on February twenty six, twenty thirteen.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to golf Smarter Mulligans, your second chance to gain

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insight and advice from the best instructors featured on the

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Golf Smarter podcast. Great Golf Instruction Never Gets Old. Our

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interview library features hundreds of hours of game improvement conversations

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like this that are no longer available in any podcast app.

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Speaker 3: Before you get to hit the ball, compose yourself and say, Okay,

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the trainer inside is trying to get me to play

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at my ultimate best. So I'm not gonna believe it anymore.

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I'm going to turn my doubt inside out. If you

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take the word doubt and re scramble it, you get

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two words too, bud to bud, to grow, to blossom.

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So the doubt has never been here to take us

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down as it appears to be.

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Speaker 4: It's here to rise us up.

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Speaker 3: Before you hit the ball, stop if you've bitten into

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it already.

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Speaker 4: You got to neutralize. This is perfection.

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Speaker 3: Once you've getten used to this, this is going to

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be done in seconds and now instead of I'm going

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to screw up.

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Speaker 4: Oh, this is a golden opportunity.

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Speaker 3: This is ready to begin a new life for me

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here at this hole, and I'm going to hit it

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exactly where I.

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Speaker 4: Want it, regardless where the ball goes.

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Speaker 3: How does that feel to put that thought in of

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what you've experienced all along.

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Speaker 1: Before turn your doubt into an asset With author Kerrie Valentine.

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Speaker 4: This is Golf Smarter.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Golf Smarter for members only.

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Speaker 4: Carrie, how's it going Gray, Great to be here.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for coming into the studio today and sitting

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down and having a conversation. You wrote a book that

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really has nothing to do with golf. You wrote a

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book called In Love Forever. That's right, Well, actually that

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is completely about golf. I mean, if you've talked to golfers,

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you know that it's just this passion that I want

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to apologize the audience for saying this, but golf is

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a mistress. Yeah, you know, you think about it way

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too much. You're in a room by yourself looking in

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the mirror and you're thinking about golf. It's kind of sick.

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So yeah, I guess In Life Forever is totally about golf.

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It's perfect. But but in looking through your book. There's

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this chapter that you come across here and it's like

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this is screaming out golf and it's it's talking about doubt.

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Tell me where you go, you know what your premise

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is on this and why you think this does relate

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to golf, and we'll get to your conversations with professional golfer.

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Speaker 4: Sure, thanks, Frey.

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Speaker 3: Well, let me start off to just say, you know,

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it's talking about you know, I'm so fast about the

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inner game, the inner game of life, but in this

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case the inner game of golf, because from the inner

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game and working it, you can improve your game, lower

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your scores, enjoy yourself more on the course and in

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your life as well. So the doubts, you know, some

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call it the inner demons, you know things like this. Uh,

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we deal with it on the golf course and in

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our life. And I dealt with it so much in

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my life that I really took some time in my

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life to turn it all around. And I call it

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your turn your doubts inside out and realize in my

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life that I grew up playing music and as performing

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around the world, and yet still constant negativity in my head.

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Or you stink you're worthless, you're no good And yet

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it was having awards or winning you know, great opportunities,

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but inside was really you know, haunting me. Why well

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I thought, I didn't really know why. At first, I

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just thought there was this you know, negative stuff in

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my head. All I wanted to do was be happy,

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and all I was was unhappy until a moment that

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really changed my life.

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Speaker 4: While I was.

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Speaker 3: Really taking time out to focus on what was going

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on and really interrogate my thoughts, and in that process

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s fread I heard, did you ever think that all

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those negative thoughts carry are your best friends, your coach,

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your trainer, kind of like Mickey and Rocky, you know,

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trying to like, come on, you bum you could have

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been something, you know, and Mickey was always trying to

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you know, get Rocky to be his best and you know,

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eventually got there. So I realized when that happened to

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turn my doubts inside out, that they're actually there to

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uplift me and befriend me. That I had to start

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believing in myself rather than believing that I that I stunk,

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and that changed everything around.

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Speaker 4: That was the beginning, and how did you get there?

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The beginning of the change.

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Speaker 1: Made you start to understand that it was.

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Speaker 3: Pain is a life is a great messenger, a pain,

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pain pain. I was on the brink. I was on

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the brink of divorce with my wife, and over time,

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just these negative thoughts just built up to where I

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just I was so encapsulated by them. I just didn't

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know how to deal with it anymore. And I kinda,

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you know, screamed out to the universe, you know, like

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you know, what the hell's going on here? And then

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I had this moment that it's hard to explain. It

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may sound strange, but I did hear inside my.

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Speaker 4: Head just those thoughts. Carrie. Did you ever think that

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all that negativity was actually a coach, a trainer, that

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these thoughts were trying to get you to love yourself more?

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And that began the shift.

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Speaker 3: And because I have a meditation background, I was really

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able then to start slowing down the thoughts and catching

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them and go, oh, that's I started seeing repeated patterns

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of the same kind of words where I didn't realize

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they happened so quick that I would just bite into

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it and believe it was true, like you stink, you

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can't or in a golf sense, and what it was

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really doing. I learned to slow it down, and not

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only slow it down, but rewind it, interrogate and go,

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what did I just hear you say? And then I'd hear, oh,

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you stink. And then I realized, hearing that is like

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a knock on the door, you know, it was like

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a memo you stink, but we respond And I responded

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so quickly that I actually like would bite into that thought,

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like believe it was true. And then I would feel

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like this dark, heavy cloud come over me and more

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insecure and all of that. You know, we can relate

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to that too, maybe as a as a golfer. So

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then I again I slowed it down and realized those

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were two separate experiences. First was the thought that you stink,

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and then was the bite into it. And so I

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learned to stop biting and then also catch the thought.

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When the thought was you stink, I stopped and I

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heard it and I accepted it. I go, that's right,

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I do stink. But as Uncle Albert Einstein said, there's

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a for everything in the universe has its.

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Speaker 4: Equal in opposite.

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Speaker 3: So then I started putting in, Oh my gosh, if

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I hear you stink, that's really telling me I'm good,

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not like an egotistical way, but to start believing in

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myself that I was good because I never really put

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that in. It was almost like I had two arms

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and one arm never worked. And then then I started

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putting it in. Oh, I accept it, I stink, I

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laugh at it. I release that, and then I put

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in I'm good in that regard, and.

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Speaker 1: You say so, you embrace it, and then you put

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in your good where I mean, how do you what

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is it insert here?

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Speaker 4: Sure?

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Speaker 3: So if I did, okay, So if I hear I

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stink and I didn't bite, meaning like I didn't feel

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like I didn't believe it and didn't go down the

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well of despair like with negative feelings and get all

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tense or nervous. If I did, I will do you know,

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I would use a phrase that is called this is perfection,

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and I would use that as a mantra, this is perfection,

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this is perfection. That would help me kind of slow

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down that negative train and then at least I'd find

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myself back in my center. And then once I was

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kind of back in my center, it might not have

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been perfect, but I knew I wasn't still traveling down

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that downward spiral. Then I would put in the opposite

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of what I heard. So if I heard you stink,

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then I put in you're good, and it would, and

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I start putting it you're good, you're good, you're good,

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and it would. At first, it was mechanical, it was like,

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you're full of it, carry you know, what are you.

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Speaker 4: Doing saying this?

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Speaker 3: But eventually, because I kept doing it, I would feel

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a flow go through my body that it wasn't for me,

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it was something that was happening. And then I would

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just be like, really, really, some amazing thing would happen.

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So every time now that I hear the doubt, like

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you know, don't call that person, or you know, you

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know you're going to hit the ball, you know, and

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you know way off course, I go, ah, great, thank

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you for saying that, because you want me to stop

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and slow down and know that when I'm going to

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be ready to hit that ball, I'm going to hit

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it exactly where I want it.

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Speaker 4: And that's what the whole point of the doubt is.

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Speaker 2: Let me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so you were a drummer.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I have a great story about this.

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Speaker 1: On your downtime is when you would I would assume

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is when you would beat yourself up. How often while

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you were performing did you say to yourself, I sock,

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I stink, I'm no good at first?

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Speaker 4: A lot of times. The comparisons.

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Speaker 3: Uh. I went to school at Berkeley College of Music.

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Speaker 1: Uh so in Boston.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, in Boston, Well you don't stink, dude, well, but

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but still internally at that point I had a really

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low esteem.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you're coming out of high school. This is

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college for you.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, low self esteem, low confidence. And I'm up

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against six hundred other drummers. Sure everyone is better than

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the next. So even though I went from being the

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big fish in the small pond, I went to Berkeley

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being the really small fish in the big pond. And

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I did work my way back to that place, but

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it took a lot and a lot of negativity, you know, comparisons,

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and while I was playing, or or see another drummer

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in the in the audience, and you know that I

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knew it was better than me, and then you know

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I kind of like flinch a little or things like

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that would happen.

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Speaker 1: Really, so you're not getting lost in in where you

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are musically, what measure you're.

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Speaker 4: On on, what's going on, Oh yes, I was too.

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Speaker 1: You were getting lost in that, but then all of

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a sudden you're distracted and and all of a sudden

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you start beating yourself up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great point too, Fred, because a part

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of my experience is doing classical percussion, classical orchestral playing,

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and a lot of times as a drummer, you're you're

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you're counting like fifty measures and silence, and then you

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have one little hit. Well in the middle of twenty two, three, four,

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twenty three, the thought is what's for dinner tonight? You

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canna have pizza?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm lost. I was like, oh no, and that.

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Speaker 3: My focus as a younger person was way off. And

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then I just working this. I would say like, okay,

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tighten down the focus, Nott, and just really sharpened from

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that place and really working it. My total playing changed.

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I became like in the zone in the game all

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the time. I brought myself there, but with being kind

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of almost lack of days ago, I was like ready

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to be attacked, but the attack was never to harm me,

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was just just get me to be at the best

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of my game, which brings me to this amazing story.

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Thank you that after years already of working this I left.

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This was an Idaho you know, this kind of four

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year stint living in the desert and really uh working

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as a scientist and living like a monk. And then

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I left Idaho went to Vermont to re engage back

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in life. And quickly thereafter a friend of mine that

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I met in Brazil who is now living in Germany

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because I lived in Brazil for a year performing and touring.

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His name's Tony Osannah. He called me up and said,

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I'm coming, you know, let's let's do some shows. And

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it was like in a matter of two weeks, put

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this huge concert together. And he shows up the day

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before our this concert. We did a show at you know,

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some schools to do some promotion, and then we didn't

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really practice much, but in our experience we kind of

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worked together intuitively anyway. But still here I am walking

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on stage and I hear in my head, you are

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gonna so suck tonight. You didn't rehearse, you don't even

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know the songles you're gonna do. You are gonna embarrass

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yourself so big time in this new community. And I

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caught it because by that time I had practiced so

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much with this, and I was.

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Speaker 4: Like, oh, I know what you're here for. You've showed up.

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Speaker 3: Because if if I dare, if I dare to hold

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myself kind of like a Jedi, here, something amazing is

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about to happen. And what I did Fred is like, Okay, suckers,

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I'm gonna ride Tony's butt like Zoro tonight.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna just.

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Speaker 3: Emotionally be so connected to him and internally just support

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him musically that it's just gonna be awesome. And amazingly,

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the concert was exceptional. It was just like on fire,

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and people at intermission was like, what's going on here?

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Speaker 4: I haven't heard this kind of music in Electricity in years. Wow.

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Speaker 3: And the magic kept on going because we we you know,

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I just kind of sound at sound check said to

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the sound engineer can we record this? And he's like, yeah,

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we could, but I don't have the equipment. I said,

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I have it at home. I'll bring it back. I

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brought it back, he hooked it up, he recorded it,

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and he said, you know, at the end of the concert,

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he's like, Carrie, I didn't have the ability to mix

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the sound. So whatever we got is what we got.

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And we heard the recording and it was magic. It

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was perfect. We just made some edits and now we

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have this CD that people can hear.

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Speaker 1: Oh great, that's a long witted plug.

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Speaker 4: It wasn't intended.

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Speaker 3: It was just more about the you know what magic

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can happen when we step up?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? Right?

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Speaker 1: And and it's so interesting because you're talking about performance

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anxiety and whether you're performing for an audience or whether

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they're in golf, you're performing for yourself. I mean you

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there's you can be walking down the fairway going I

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really don't want to take this sh I'm really nervous

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about this shot. I hate this shot. I wish I

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would you right, So you're you're beating yourself up in

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that way.

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Speaker 4: Now go ahead, So here we go.

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Speaker 3: So you hear that or you heard I've always screwed

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up this shot every time at this course.

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Speaker 4: I hit it.

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Speaker 3: Right. So catch yourself. Catch yourself as you hear that,

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and before you get to hit the ball, you know,

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just compose yourself and say, okay, this is happening because

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all along the trainer inside is trying to get me

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to play at my ultimate best. So I'm not going

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to bite into that thought. I'm not gonna believe it anymore.

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I'm gonna turn my doubt inside out. Here's a funny

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thing to fred that if you take the word doubt

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and re scramble it, you get two words t O

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b U d two bud to.

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Speaker 4: Grow to blossom.

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Speaker 3: So the doubt has never been here to take us

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down as it appears to be. It's here to rise

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us up. So before you hit the ball, stop hear

305
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:12,320
yourself and start putting. If you've bitten into it already,

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you got to neutralize. Remember, this is perfection. This is perfection,

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and this can happen once you've getten used to this.

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This can be done in seconds. So then you're ready

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to hit the ball. And now instead of I'm going

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to screw up. Oh, this is a golden opportunity. This

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is ready to begin a new life for me here

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at this hole, and I'm going to hit it exactly

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where I want it. How does that feel to put

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that in, regardless where the ball goes. How does that

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feel to put that thought in of what you've experienced

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all along before? Isn't that a total shift?

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Speaker 4: Yeah? In your thinking?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, And from there now the opportunity can happen where

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you can relax, get in the zone and totally transform

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your game at that hole.

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Speaker 1: Amazing. I'm struggling with the perfect part.

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Speaker 4: Okay, what it is?

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Speaker 1: I well, I don't I don't think perfect perfection exists. Yeah, okay,

325
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especially well there is no perfection in golf. Yeah, right,

326
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so so let's educate me on that.

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Speaker 4: What are we saying, great question?

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Speaker 3: This is perfection is reference to when we have bitten

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into that doubt, like I'm going to screw up, and

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then we start it's not just words anymore. We feel it.

331
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We feel like, right, you feel like a little darkness

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around us or heaviness. Right, So so we're in that

333
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what I call a downward spiral. And so this is

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perfection is it's not about that things are perfect. It's

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not whether you like it or not. It's just a

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phrase that creates neutrality. And then it just kind of

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slows that train down and brings yourself back up to

338
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a neutrality base so that you're you can then put

339
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:58,640
in in a few moments to a few minutes time

340
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:01,000
before you hit that ball, I'm going to hit this

341
00:18:01,119 --> 00:18:04,119
really well, and you can start believing it. So this

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is perfection, it's it's not about you know how things are.

343
00:18:08,839 --> 00:18:12,680
It's just a neutral phrase to kind of put the

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brake on the train, on the negative train, Yes, on

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the negative trend.

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Speaker 1: You you have a book here that you brought to

347
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show me that you kind of like base thing your

348
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:28,880
your your golf concept on the path path to Golf

349
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:36,960
Mastery Quantum Golf Yes, by you said Jella and Hunger, Yeah,

350
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from nineteen ninety one.

351
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Speaker 4: Yes.

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Speaker 1: So what is it about this book that you know

353
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:46,279
with with quotes from Deepak Chopra and Joan Carner, and

354
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:50,680
what is it about this book that caught your eye

355
00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,039
that made you think that the stuff that you're writing

356
00:18:53,079 --> 00:18:55,759
about really does apply to golf in golfers?

357
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Speaker 4: Great? Great question.

358
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:03,160
Speaker 3: In the book the there's a golfer who is a

359
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:07,319
is a New York City business person, has had lessons,

360
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:12,000
plays well, but is uptight, and the trainer, the golf

361
00:19:12,079 --> 00:19:17,839
pro is in another zone. And at first the guy

362
00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,440
from New York is kind of like perplexed, like he's

363
00:19:20,599 --> 00:19:22,519
because he goes to Iowa in the first place, and

364
00:19:22,519 --> 00:19:24,319
he's like, what am I going to learn in Iowa?

365
00:19:24,839 --> 00:19:27,400
But that just is the beginning to open him up

366
00:19:27,759 --> 00:19:31,759
and to relax and to get into his authentic swing.

367
00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:35,880
So the trainer is telling him, like he can't tell

368
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,400
him at first because the cup is over over full,

369
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:43,519
but he's really wanting to clear out the doubts, you know,

370
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:47,519
his tension that the trainer says, you know, in our mind,

371
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,160
the doubts are going to be there, so we're got

372
00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:52,960
to trick our mind. And so when you start swinging,

373
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:58,960
say the words super fluid, super fluid, and in that

374
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:04,359
it does change change the golfer's ability to start hitting

375
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:08,039
the ball more in a relaxed rhythm, and it begins

376
00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:12,279
the change. And the difference that I take on from

377
00:20:12,359 --> 00:20:16,200
the book is that he's saying the doubts are always

378
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,799
going to be there. And what happened to me that

379
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,480
not only I totally changed it around where there's no

380
00:20:22,599 --> 00:20:24,720
more like I don't have to trick the doubts. I

381
00:20:24,839 --> 00:20:27,039
befriend them. I put my arm around them.

382
00:20:27,079 --> 00:20:30,559
Speaker 1: The buddies are going to be there, yeah, yeah, and

383
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,319
how you deal with them, they are.

384
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Speaker 3: But here's the cool thing, Fred that I've noticed in

385
00:20:35,799 --> 00:20:39,960
myself and other working with others in this that eventually

386
00:20:40,359 --> 00:20:43,960
the doubts no longer need to show up because you've

387
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,279
accepted them, and you've already started to put in yourself.

388
00:20:47,319 --> 00:20:49,160
I am going to hit the ball whale, I am

389
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:50,799
going to hit the ball straight. I am going to

390
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:54,000
play well and enjoy myself on this course this day.

391
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:57,200
So when you are doing that and in putting that

392
00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,319
into yourself, the doubt is again is a memo. It's

393
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,240
only there to say, put in this stuff that you're

394
00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:05,480
not putting in. So when you're putting in the positive,

395
00:21:05,799 --> 00:21:09,599
it doesn't need to show up anymore, and it won't. However,

396
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,079
your game's gonna raise, You're going to get better, you're

397
00:21:13,079 --> 00:21:15,279
gonna get clearer, your scores are going to get lower.

398
00:21:15,799 --> 00:21:19,119
The doubt is kind of like the trainer that's always

399
00:21:19,200 --> 00:21:22,680
there to get you better, always, you know, bettering you.

400
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:27,079
So the storms may lessen, but their blows may be stronger.

401
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:34,640
But so again. But when you realize when all of

402
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,440
a sudden you're playing and you know, like you know,

403
00:21:37,519 --> 00:21:41,359
you are overwhelmed by feeling or fear or something. When

404
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:45,000
you've practiced this, then you realize, whoo, something again is

405
00:21:45,039 --> 00:21:49,559
amazing about to happen. If here's the choice, here's the keyword,

406
00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:53,720
the choice to not bite into it, but to refocus

407
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,359
reframe it to get on track, and then you go

408
00:21:57,440 --> 00:22:01,400
wow something when the realization something amazing is about to

409
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,480
happen here, and you you clear that space and again

410
00:22:04,559 --> 00:22:05,480
you get in the zone.

411
00:22:12,839 --> 00:22:16,559
Speaker 1: You had the opportunity to take these thoughts that you

412
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know from this book and put it in a perspective

413
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,960
of the golf and what you were writing about. And

414
00:22:23,319 --> 00:22:27,119
you live in Hawaii. Yes, now all over the place

415
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,559
man on car. Yeah, and so you got a chance.

416
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,000
Tell me tell me about this pass that you just

417
00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:38,519
handed me to the to the twenty thirteen sony open. Yeah,

418
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,200
media paths, Well, I tell me more.

419
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:45,519
Speaker 3: You know, here is my own if I could be

420
00:22:45,599 --> 00:22:49,079
really transparent, my own story with this is uh well,

421
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:52,000
first of all, you help me make that possible.

422
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,880
Speaker 4: And I'm really grateful because.

423
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:58,440
Speaker 3: I needed a media outlet to to apply with and

424
00:22:58,519 --> 00:23:00,759
I shared with them what I would doing and they

425
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,079
just said no problem. You know, I applied and they

426
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:04,200
I got back to pass.

427
00:23:05,039 --> 00:23:06,319
Speaker 4: So so here.

428
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,319
Speaker 1: That you you accused Golf Smarter of being a media

429
00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:15,720
outlet and they bought it. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna try

430
00:23:15,759 --> 00:23:16,200
that one.

431
00:23:17,559 --> 00:23:21,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got you in to an not that Okay,

432
00:23:22,039 --> 00:23:25,759
I'm sorry, go right ahead. Yeah, So here I am.

433
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 3: You know, I had been to the tournament before but

434
00:23:30,559 --> 00:23:33,799
not nearly but never is like part of the media, and.

435
00:23:35,559 --> 00:23:36,920
Speaker 4: I didn't know what to expect.

436
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:40,519
Speaker 3: A few days before I went, I was really I

437
00:23:40,559 --> 00:23:42,559
woke up with cold sweats.

438
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 4: I was so nervous. I was hearing in my head,

439
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,000
who the hell are you? What do you think you

440
00:23:48,079 --> 00:23:49,000
are going to this?

441
00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:56,319
Speaker 3: Like you know, and I and I was yeah and real,

442
00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:59,880
you know, like I was intending to have the opportunity

443
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:03,599
to to interview some of the wives because again, I'm

444
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:05,920
the main thing that I do as a relationship coach

445
00:24:06,519 --> 00:24:11,119
and working with people on relationship stuff and this growing

446
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,920
now expansiveness of coaching golfers. So I was real curious

447
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,680
to talk to the wives about, you know, just what

448
00:24:17,759 --> 00:24:21,640
life is like and things of that nature. And there

449
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,720
were a few things potentially set up, but the week

450
00:24:24,759 --> 00:24:27,839
before the tournament in Maui got delayed because of all

451
00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:30,160
the wind and all that. So there were all the

452
00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:32,279
players from there that I had some set up things

453
00:24:32,319 --> 00:24:35,680
with that weren't there. So I was like, okay, new moment,

454
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:39,559
and so here I am in the media room like

455
00:24:39,599 --> 00:24:42,440
a you know, first kid, like you know, first day

456
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,319
of school, kind of kind of scared, like you don't

457
00:24:44,319 --> 00:24:46,440
know who everyone is and stuff, and they don't know you.

458
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:50,079
Speaker 4: Yeah, and the new kid at school. Yeah.

459
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:52,880
Speaker 3: And I walk in and you know, there's all these desks,

460
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,759
you know, like set up with computers and people who

461
00:24:55,799 --> 00:24:57,680
they are. And there was a photographer next to me

462
00:24:58,039 --> 00:25:00,720
who had like five huge cameras and was downloading his

463
00:25:00,759 --> 00:25:03,400
pictures on his computer. And just started talking to him.

464
00:25:03,440 --> 00:25:06,279
And you know, as we were talking, I was more transparent,

465
00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:08,160
told them what I wanted to do. He said, oh,

466
00:25:08,279 --> 00:25:11,000
these guys you know from the PGA, you know, just

467
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,640
tell them what you wanted to do, and they'll, you know,

468
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,559
they'll work it out with you to interview some of

469
00:25:15,599 --> 00:25:18,440
the golfers. And I was like, wow, really, and so

470
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,640
I did. I talked to the guys and they said sure,

471
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:25,680
you know, there'll be some conference conferences that will be happening.

472
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,079
And then I said, okay, great, And then you know,

473
00:25:28,279 --> 00:25:31,880
it's just kind of like serendipitous. I was walking around

474
00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,440
the course, you know, before this is again, before the

475
00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:38,079
tournament started. It was like Tuesday or Wednesday, and I

476
00:25:38,119 --> 00:25:40,599
hear a few guys talking in the stands and I

477
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,359
see a bunch of kids and I get closer and

478
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:45,759
I go, oh, my gosh, there's Stuart's sync. And he

479
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,759
was talking to the kids kind of like doing you know,

480
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:53,839
a little training with them. And after the meeting happened

481
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:56,000
and the kids were, you know, getting their signatures on

482
00:25:56,079 --> 00:25:58,359
the balls and hats and things like that, I asked them,

483
00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,839
can I talk to you about the inner game?

484
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,759
Speaker 4: And he was so gracious.

485
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 3: I was really taken because again, my world has mostly

486
00:26:06,400 --> 00:26:08,079
been in the music field and I deal with a

487
00:26:08,079 --> 00:26:10,799
bunch of divas, you know, like you know, at that level.

488
00:26:10,799 --> 00:26:14,680
But he was just so human, so transparent, so honest,

489
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:16,680
and I said, you know, talk to me, you know

490
00:26:16,839 --> 00:26:20,160
about do you have challenges with doubts? And he's like, dude,

491
00:26:20,599 --> 00:26:24,680
oh my god, for sure, really and yeah, And he

492
00:26:24,799 --> 00:26:28,799
was very open and shared with me how he's worked to,

493
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:32,519
like he used the word interrogate his thoughts while he's playing,

494
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,839
and when he's noticed things are going sour, he reminds

495
00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:40,799
himself to what's it all about? Why is he here

496
00:26:40,839 --> 00:26:42,880
in the first place, and that love of the game,

497
00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,359
and that helps him refocus and get back to playing

498
00:26:46,359 --> 00:26:52,119
well again. And I was very, very impressed with his humanness,

499
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,720
and he shared with me about his experience of working

500
00:26:55,759 --> 00:26:58,160
with a mental coach and how that's helped him not

501
00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:00,480
only with his game, but with his life with his

502
00:27:00,559 --> 00:27:04,359
wife and his relationship and all of those pieces actually

503
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:07,720
has helped him in his game on the course as well.

504
00:27:08,319 --> 00:27:10,079
Speaker 1: Wow yeah wow.

505
00:27:11,079 --> 00:27:17,279
Speaker 3: And I also had the opportunity to talk to Johnson Wagner,

506
00:27:17,319 --> 00:27:19,960
who won the tournament to Sony Open the year prior,

507
00:27:20,319 --> 00:27:23,680
and I asked him kind of what kind of suggestions

508
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,160
would you have for amateurs to deal with the doubts

509
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,400
and deal with that inner game challenge, and he said,

510
00:27:29,839 --> 00:27:33,920
slow down, you know, just compose yourself and that really

511
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,160
helps him just to get back to himself.

512
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,559
Speaker 4: And then again did he.

513
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 1: Did he talk about doubt at all or.

514
00:27:41,519 --> 00:27:44,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, he didn't get into great detail at

515
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,039
that moment because it was at a press conference, but

516
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,079
he did say the suggestion to amateurs really slow down

517
00:27:51,119 --> 00:27:54,880
your game, take time, and really again get in a sense,

518
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,839
get back in your zone, get find your authentic swing

519
00:27:58,279 --> 00:28:02,839
in that place, feel feel it. And and then again

520
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:06,160
just walking on the course, Uh, there was you know,

521
00:28:06,279 --> 00:28:10,240
passing by the satellite trucks and there's Frank nobleo, you know,

522
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:12,119
hanging out a you know, like a golf cart with

523
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,759
a bunch of buddies, and my heart starts beating, like

524
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:16,079
should I go say hi to him?

525
00:28:16,079 --> 00:28:18,039
Speaker 4: Because you know, you know, I watched him.

526
00:28:18,079 --> 00:28:20,599
Speaker 3: I like what Frank you know, you know, talks about

527
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,559
in the in the game, and and I'm like, yeah,

528
00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:23,079
let's do it.

529
00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,160
Speaker 4: And then my mind's like, you can't do that, you know,

530
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,480
you know, who are you to go talk to him?

531
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 3: Well, again, serendipitous, something happened Fred where a bunch of

532
00:28:34,759 --> 00:28:37,799
the guys something, you know, they they as I was

533
00:28:37,839 --> 00:28:41,000
walking past them, left the area and Frank was just

534
00:28:41,079 --> 00:28:43,279
left with one or two guys. I kind of, like,

535
00:28:43,759 --> 00:28:46,839
you know, cautiously walked up to him and I introduced myself,

536
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,440
and he was again the most gracious human being you

537
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:52,599
know of And I talked to him about the inner

538
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:55,240
game and he's like, Kerry, you know, because I share

539
00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:57,880
with him about you know, the musical world and how

540
00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,440
the players at this level or the musician at this

541
00:29:00,559 --> 00:29:03,799
level you know often a pretty aloof and won't give

542
00:29:03,839 --> 00:29:04,599
you the time of day.

543
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,359
Speaker 4: And he's like, well, golf, where's you down? Man?

544
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:11,279
Speaker 3: He's like, it rips you apart. You know, you hardly

545
00:29:11,319 --> 00:29:14,119
ever win, and it makes you honest. And he said,

546
00:29:14,519 --> 00:29:16,640
that's why a lot of these guys like because I

547
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,240
share with him how my experience was. He' said, yeah,

548
00:29:19,279 --> 00:29:21,799
they're just you know, they're just doing their life, they're

549
00:29:21,839 --> 00:29:25,039
doing their game. And and I was, I was really taken.

550
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,880
I was really like, these people were just people with

551
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:33,079
me and embracing me and giving me time, not like,

552
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,480
you know, pushing me away, because who the heck am I?

553
00:29:35,759 --> 00:29:38,240
You know, I'm just this guy showing up and asking

554
00:29:38,279 --> 00:29:42,000
them these questions. So I took a lot from that

555
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,599
experience and was incredibly impressed.

556
00:29:44,799 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, have you ever noticed how athletes want to

557
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,799
be musicians and musicians want to be athletes?

558
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:50,759
Speaker 4: Yeah?

559
00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:55,079
Speaker 1: Someay, sure, there's a lot of musicialll esventually musicians in

560
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,519
golf because yeah, they work at night. Yeah, so what

561
00:29:58,519 --> 00:30:00,440
do you do during the day? Yeah, only go to

562
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,839
so many movies? Right, So, and when you're traveling a lot,

563
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:06,559
you bring your sticks and you get to play golf. Fascinating.

564
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,359
Tell me about your foundation.

565
00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 3: Ah, the Lotus Arts Foundation, Yes, please sure. The Lotus

566
00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:17,640
Arts Foundation was established in nineteen eighty eight. It initially

567
00:30:18,839 --> 00:30:23,119
was to solely. At that point, I was running a

568
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:27,640
SPA an areavidk SPA retreat in Colorado, So there's been a.

569
00:30:27,559 --> 00:30:33,079
Speaker 4: Lot of places yeah life. Yeah, And initially it.

570
00:30:33,079 --> 00:30:36,119
Speaker 3: Was set up to give scholarships to people, but then

571
00:30:37,119 --> 00:30:41,160
things kind of grew and I was starting to do

572
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:46,240
a music residencies and tours in schools around the country

573
00:30:47,079 --> 00:30:50,039
for kids with music. So then we expanded it to

574
00:30:50,079 --> 00:30:53,559
the music and arts and that was really awesome, And

575
00:30:53,599 --> 00:30:56,319
that's kind of the base from where it's at now.

576
00:30:56,599 --> 00:31:02,319
And now again it's growing to incorporate this human psychological

577
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,359
element to where I give talks and around the country,

578
00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,200
and it's and helping people to deal with their inner

579
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,400
game of life, with their relationships and now with golf

580
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:16,119
as well, and with business too. You know, like so

581
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:18,079
many times, you know, I meet up with people who

582
00:31:18,119 --> 00:31:18,880
are you.

583
00:31:18,839 --> 00:31:22,759
Speaker 1: Know, going into meetings say I suck, yeah, yeah.

584
00:31:22,319 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 3: And I see just just this part alone about turning

585
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:29,160
your doubts inside out is it's its power and effect

586
00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,759
is so vast. And by turning it around and go

587
00:31:33,359 --> 00:31:35,319
when you hear like going into a business meeting, I'm

588
00:31:35,319 --> 00:31:37,680
gonna screw this up or whatever, put on the brakes

589
00:31:38,759 --> 00:31:41,519
and catch it and go, oh, this is really exciting,

590
00:31:41,559 --> 00:31:44,200
this is awesome. Why because I just heard I suck

591
00:31:44,799 --> 00:31:47,680
and what is that? It's not telling me I'm going

592
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,200
to I'm going to do bad. No, it's actually saying

593
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,279
if I pay attention here and put in the thought that, Okay,

594
00:31:54,359 --> 00:31:56,440
I accept that I'm going to suck at this business

595
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,480
meeting and I'm not going to get the contract or

596
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:03,000
whatever I'm looking for, and you just accept that and

597
00:32:03,039 --> 00:32:05,480
then you put in oh, but it's really telling me

598
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,880
there's some magic waiting to happen if that powerful letter word,

599
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,480
two letter word, if I step up here, and if

600
00:32:12,480 --> 00:32:16,519
you do this, your totally energy changes. You become vibrant

601
00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,920
and your glow and the success happens. And I've seen

602
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:23,680
it time and again, unbelievable.

603
00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: Tell me now about your book and how we can

604
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,519
access these you know, specific chapters. Now, a book again

605
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,519
is in Love Forever and it's all about your relationships

606
00:32:35,519 --> 00:32:38,000
and whatnot. But there are elements that you think that

607
00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:42,880
are very specific for golfers in there. So what yes

608
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,200
you suggests? And also I just want to say that

609
00:32:45,279 --> 00:32:49,680
the quantum golf the path to golf mastery, which now

610
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,440
do you see this as a helpful thing, or you

611
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,039
saw it as.

612
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 3: A totally totally help totally wonderful primer for getting you know,

613
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,839
finding yourself and and and readjusting, because you know, when

614
00:33:02,839 --> 00:33:05,880
you get caught in the doubt, it creates fear, and

615
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:09,400
the fear leads to restriction in your swing, and the

616
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:14,039
mind gets all confused your you know, and your swing

617
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,480
gets all over the place and so resulting in you know,

618
00:33:17,559 --> 00:33:18,960
mistakes and you.

619
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:19,759
Speaker 4: You get all tied up and not.

620
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:24,400
Speaker 3: So the book really is talking about how to refocus

621
00:33:24,559 --> 00:33:28,599
and calm yourself to again, like using the the legend

622
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:31,359
of bager Vance, find your authentic swing. I think it's

623
00:33:31,599 --> 00:33:34,000
it's very inspiring and and it's a quick read.

624
00:33:34,079 --> 00:33:36,640
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's only one hundred pages plus. I mean,

625
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,279
it's not that much more than one hundred pages. Yeah, well,

626
00:33:40,319 --> 00:33:42,960
the epilog starts on page one oh seven. But what

627
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,599
I'm going to do is the book is is still available,

628
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,920
so I'm going to put it in our in our

629
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:50,759
golfers mart on golf Smarter dot com, so we'll have

630
00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:52,920
so if you go into the book section, you'll see

631
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:55,039
you can pick up that book, Quantum Golf The Path

632
00:33:55,079 --> 00:34:00,440
to Golf Mastery by somebody named Shelle and Hunger. But

633
00:34:01,079 --> 00:34:05,079
your book and your chapter, how does Golf Smarter remember

634
00:34:05,319 --> 00:34:06,200
and listener get to.

635
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:07,200
Speaker 4: That great question?

636
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 3: So the book in Love Forever that I've written with

637
00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:15,320
my past, my late wife Wendy, Seven Secrets to a Joyous,

638
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:19,199
Juicy Relationship. The book is in the process right now

639
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:23,519
of being edited and then it's going to be released

640
00:34:23,559 --> 00:34:26,559
and published in the meantime. I would love to be

641
00:34:26,599 --> 00:34:30,079
able to give this chapter about doubts to those that

642
00:34:30,119 --> 00:34:33,840
are interested. So I think, and I truly feel, it'll

643
00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,760
be a great help to the golf enthusiasts listening today.

644
00:34:37,159 --> 00:34:40,000
So what if they email you Fred?

645
00:34:40,119 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's a PDF for something, Okay, all right,

646
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,280
So what we can do is if you go ahead

647
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:47,960
and click on the Heyfred button at Golfsmarter dot com

648
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,880
and say that you want to get the chapter about

649
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:54,840
doubt from Carrie Valentine. I will forward that off to

650
00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:57,840
Carrie and you can have a conversation with Carrie and

651
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,480
even for sure from.

652
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 4: Charac because that's what he's doing. Yeah, I would love

653
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:03,920
to great.

654
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, it's really been helpful and I'm glad

655
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:10,199
that you were able to get the media passed by

656
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:16,920
lying about golf smarter and best of luck on this.

657
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,880
I hope it goes well for you. I hope you

658
00:35:18,880 --> 00:35:21,880
get a lot of response and that it starts picking up.

659
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:24,000
Speaker 4: Thanks so much, thank you so much for having me here.

660
00:35:24,039 --> 00:35:25,320
Fred I really enjoyed this