Speaker 1: For members only. Golf Smarter number three hundred and seventy two,
published on February twenty six, twenty thirteen.
Speaker 2: Welcome to golf Smarter Mulligans, your second chance to gain
insight and advice from the best instructors featured on the
Golf Smarter podcast. Great Golf Instruction Never Gets Old. Our
interview library features hundreds of hours of game improvement conversations
like this that are no longer available in any podcast app.
Speaker 3: Before you get to hit the ball, compose yourself and say, Okay,
the trainer inside is trying to get me to play
at my ultimate best. So I'm not gonna believe it anymore.
I'm going to turn my doubt inside out. If you
take the word doubt and re scramble it, you get
two words too, bud to bud, to grow, to blossom.
So the doubt has never been here to take us
down as it appears to be.
Speaker 4: It's here to rise us up.
Speaker 3: Before you hit the ball, stop if you've bitten into
it already.
Speaker 4: You got to neutralize. This is perfection.
Speaker 3: Once you've getten used to this, this is going to
be done in seconds and now instead of I'm going
to screw up.
Speaker 4: Oh, this is a golden opportunity.
Speaker 3: This is ready to begin a new life for me
here at this hole, and I'm going to hit it
exactly where I.
Speaker 4: Want it, regardless where the ball goes.
Speaker 3: How does that feel to put that thought in of
what you've experienced all along.
Speaker 1: Before turn your doubt into an asset With author Kerrie Valentine.
Speaker 4: This is Golf Smarter.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Golf Smarter for members only.
Speaker 4: Carrie, how's it going Gray, Great to be here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks for coming into the studio today and sitting
down and having a conversation. You wrote a book that
really has nothing to do with golf. You wrote a
book called In Love Forever. That's right, Well, actually that
is completely about golf. I mean, if you've talked to golfers,
you know that it's just this passion that I want
to apologize the audience for saying this, but golf is
a mistress. Yeah, you know, you think about it way
too much. You're in a room by yourself looking in
the mirror and you're thinking about golf. It's kind of sick.
So yeah, I guess In Life Forever is totally about golf.
It's perfect. But but in looking through your book. There's
this chapter that you come across here and it's like
this is screaming out golf and it's it's talking about doubt.
Tell me where you go, you know what your premise
is on this and why you think this does relate
to golf, and we'll get to your conversations with professional golfer.
Speaker 4: Sure, thanks, Frey.
Speaker 3: Well, let me start off to just say, you know,
it's talking about you know, I'm so fast about the
inner game, the inner game of life, but in this
case the inner game of golf, because from the inner
game and working it, you can improve your game, lower
your scores, enjoy yourself more on the course and in
your life as well. So the doubts, you know, some
call it the inner demons, you know things like this. Uh,
we deal with it on the golf course and in
our life. And I dealt with it so much in
my life that I really took some time in my
life to turn it all around. And I call it
your turn your doubts inside out and realize in my
life that I grew up playing music and as performing
around the world, and yet still constant negativity in my head.
Or you stink you're worthless, you're no good And yet
it was having awards or winning you know, great opportunities,
but inside was really you know, haunting me. Why well
I thought, I didn't really know why. At first, I
just thought there was this you know, negative stuff in
my head. All I wanted to do was be happy,
and all I was was unhappy until a moment that
really changed my life.
Speaker 4: While I was.
Speaker 3: Really taking time out to focus on what was going
on and really interrogate my thoughts, and in that process
s fread I heard, did you ever think that all
those negative thoughts carry are your best friends, your coach,
your trainer, kind of like Mickey and Rocky, you know,
trying to like, come on, you bum you could have
been something, you know, and Mickey was always trying to
you know, get Rocky to be his best and you know,
eventually got there. So I realized when that happened to
turn my doubts inside out, that they're actually there to
uplift me and befriend me. That I had to start
believing in myself rather than believing that I that I stunk,
and that changed everything around.
Speaker 4: That was the beginning, and how did you get there?
The beginning of the change.
Speaker 1: Made you start to understand that it was.
Speaker 3: Pain is a life is a great messenger, a pain,
pain pain. I was on the brink. I was on
the brink of divorce with my wife, and over time,
just these negative thoughts just built up to where I
just I was so encapsulated by them. I just didn't
know how to deal with it anymore. And I kinda,
you know, screamed out to the universe, you know, like
you know, what the hell's going on here? And then
I had this moment that it's hard to explain. It
may sound strange, but I did hear inside my.
Speaker 4: Head just those thoughts. Carrie. Did you ever think that
all that negativity was actually a coach, a trainer, that
these thoughts were trying to get you to love yourself more?
And that began the shift.
Speaker 3: And because I have a meditation background, I was really
able then to start slowing down the thoughts and catching
them and go, oh, that's I started seeing repeated patterns
of the same kind of words where I didn't realize
they happened so quick that I would just bite into
it and believe it was true, like you stink, you
can't or in a golf sense, and what it was
really doing. I learned to slow it down, and not
only slow it down, but rewind it, interrogate and go,
what did I just hear you say? And then I'd hear, oh,
you stink. And then I realized, hearing that is like
a knock on the door, you know, it was like
a memo you stink, but we respond And I responded
so quickly that I actually like would bite into that thought,
like believe it was true. And then I would feel
like this dark, heavy cloud come over me and more
insecure and all of that. You know, we can relate
to that too, maybe as a as a golfer. So
then I again I slowed it down and realized those
were two separate experiences. First was the thought that you stink,
and then was the bite into it. And so I
learned to stop biting and then also catch the thought.
When the thought was you stink, I stopped and I
heard it and I accepted it. I go, that's right,
I do stink. But as Uncle Albert Einstein said, there's
a for everything in the universe has its.
Speaker 4: Equal in opposite.
Speaker 3: So then I started putting in, Oh my gosh, if
I hear you stink, that's really telling me I'm good,
not like an egotistical way, but to start believing in
myself that I was good because I never really put
that in. It was almost like I had two arms
and one arm never worked. And then then I started
putting it in. Oh, I accept it, I stink, I
laugh at it. I release that, and then I put
in I'm good in that regard, and.
Speaker 1: You say so, you embrace it, and then you put
in your good where I mean, how do you what
is it insert here?
Speaker 4: Sure?
Speaker 3: So if I did, okay, So if I hear I
stink and I didn't bite, meaning like I didn't feel
like I didn't believe it and didn't go down the
well of despair like with negative feelings and get all
tense or nervous. If I did, I will do you know,
I would use a phrase that is called this is perfection,
and I would use that as a mantra, this is perfection,
this is perfection. That would help me kind of slow
down that negative train and then at least I'd find
myself back in my center. And then once I was
kind of back in my center, it might not have
been perfect, but I knew I wasn't still traveling down
that downward spiral. Then I would put in the opposite
of what I heard. So if I heard you stink,
then I put in you're good, and it would, and
I start putting it you're good, you're good, you're good,
and it would. At first, it was mechanical, it was like,
you're full of it, carry you know, what are you.
Speaker 4: Doing saying this?
Speaker 3: But eventually, because I kept doing it, I would feel
a flow go through my body that it wasn't for me,
it was something that was happening. And then I would
just be like, really, really, some amazing thing would happen.
So every time now that I hear the doubt, like
you know, don't call that person, or you know, you
know you're going to hit the ball, you know, and
you know way off course, I go, ah, great, thank
you for saying that, because you want me to stop
and slow down and know that when I'm going to
be ready to hit that ball, I'm going to hit
it exactly where I want it.
Speaker 4: And that's what the whole point of the doubt is.
Speaker 2: Let me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you were a drummer.
Speaker 4: Yes, I have a great story about this.
Speaker 1: On your downtime is when you would I would assume
is when you would beat yourself up. How often while
you were performing did you say to yourself, I sock,
I stink, I'm no good at first?
Speaker 4: A lot of times. The comparisons.
Speaker 3: Uh. I went to school at Berkeley College of Music.
Speaker 1: Uh so in Boston.
Speaker 3: Yeah, in Boston, Well you don't stink, dude, well, but
but still internally at that point I had a really
low esteem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you're coming out of high school. This is
college for you.
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, low self esteem, low confidence. And I'm up
against six hundred other drummers. Sure everyone is better than
the next. So even though I went from being the
big fish in the small pond, I went to Berkeley
being the really small fish in the big pond. And
I did work my way back to that place, but
it took a lot and a lot of negativity, you know, comparisons,
and while I was playing, or or see another drummer
in the in the audience, and you know that I
knew it was better than me, and then you know
I kind of like flinch a little or things like
that would happen.
Speaker 1: Really, so you're not getting lost in in where you
are musically, what measure you're.
Speaker 4: On on, what's going on, Oh yes, I was too.
Speaker 1: You were getting lost in that, but then all of
a sudden you're distracted and and all of a sudden
you start beating yourself up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great point too, Fred, because a part
of my experience is doing classical percussion, classical orchestral playing,
and a lot of times as a drummer, you're you're
you're counting like fifty measures and silence, and then you
have one little hit. Well in the middle of twenty two, three, four,
twenty three, the thought is what's for dinner tonight? You
canna have pizza?
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm lost. I was like, oh no, and that.
Speaker 3: My focus as a younger person was way off. And
then I just working this. I would say like, okay,
tighten down the focus, Nott, and just really sharpened from
that place and really working it. My total playing changed.
I became like in the zone in the game all
the time. I brought myself there, but with being kind
of almost lack of days ago, I was like ready
to be attacked, but the attack was never to harm me,
was just just get me to be at the best
of my game, which brings me to this amazing story.
Thank you that after years already of working this I left.
This was an Idaho you know, this kind of four
year stint living in the desert and really uh working
as a scientist and living like a monk. And then
I left Idaho went to Vermont to re engage back
in life. And quickly thereafter a friend of mine that
I met in Brazil who is now living in Germany
because I lived in Brazil for a year performing and touring.
His name's Tony Osannah. He called me up and said,
I'm coming, you know, let's let's do some shows. And
it was like in a matter of two weeks, put
this huge concert together. And he shows up the day
before our this concert. We did a show at you know,
some schools to do some promotion, and then we didn't
really practice much, but in our experience we kind of
worked together intuitively anyway. But still here I am walking
on stage and I hear in my head, you are
gonna so suck tonight. You didn't rehearse, you don't even
know the songles you're gonna do. You are gonna embarrass
yourself so big time in this new community. And I
caught it because by that time I had practiced so
much with this, and I was.
Speaker 4: Like, oh, I know what you're here for. You've showed up.
Speaker 3: Because if if I dare, if I dare to hold
myself kind of like a Jedi, here, something amazing is
about to happen. And what I did Fred is like, Okay, suckers,
I'm gonna ride Tony's butt like Zoro tonight.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna just.
Speaker 3: Emotionally be so connected to him and internally just support
him musically that it's just gonna be awesome. And amazingly,
the concert was exceptional. It was just like on fire,
and people at intermission was like, what's going on here?
Speaker 4: I haven't heard this kind of music in Electricity in years. Wow.
Speaker 3: And the magic kept on going because we we you know,
I just kind of sound at sound check said to
the sound engineer can we record this? And he's like, yeah,
we could, but I don't have the equipment. I said,
I have it at home. I'll bring it back. I
brought it back, he hooked it up, he recorded it,
and he said, you know, at the end of the concert,
he's like, Carrie, I didn't have the ability to mix
the sound. So whatever we got is what we got.
And we heard the recording and it was magic. It
was perfect. We just made some edits and now we
have this CD that people can hear.
Speaker 1: Oh great, that's a long witted plug.
Speaker 4: It wasn't intended.
Speaker 3: It was just more about the you know what magic
can happen when we step up?
Speaker 4: Yeah? Right?
Speaker 1: And and it's so interesting because you're talking about performance
anxiety and whether you're performing for an audience or whether
they're in golf, you're performing for yourself. I mean you
there's you can be walking down the fairway going I
really don't want to take this sh I'm really nervous
about this shot. I hate this shot. I wish I
would you right, So you're you're beating yourself up in
that way.
Speaker 4: Now go ahead, So here we go.
Speaker 3: So you hear that or you heard I've always screwed
up this shot every time at this course.
Speaker 4: I hit it.
Speaker 3: Right. So catch yourself. Catch yourself as you hear that,
and before you get to hit the ball, you know,
just compose yourself and say, okay, this is happening because
all along the trainer inside is trying to get me
to play at my ultimate best. So I'm not going
to bite into that thought. I'm not gonna believe it anymore.
I'm gonna turn my doubt inside out. Here's a funny
thing to fred that if you take the word doubt
and re scramble it, you get two words t O
b U d two bud to.
Speaker 4: Grow to blossom.
Speaker 3: So the doubt has never been here to take us
down as it appears to be. It's here to rise
us up. So before you hit the ball, stop hear
yourself and start putting. If you've bitten into it already,
you got to neutralize. Remember, this is perfection. This is perfection,
and this can happen once you've getten used to this.
This can be done in seconds. So then you're ready
to hit the ball. And now instead of I'm going
to screw up. Oh, this is a golden opportunity. This
is ready to begin a new life for me here
at this hole, and I'm going to hit it exactly
where I want it. How does that feel to put
that in, regardless where the ball goes. How does that
feel to put that thought in of what you've experienced
all along before? Isn't that a total shift?
Speaker 4: Yeah? In your thinking?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Absolutely, And from there now the opportunity can happen where
you can relax, get in the zone and totally transform
your game at that hole.
Speaker 1: Amazing. I'm struggling with the perfect part.
Speaker 4: Okay, what it is?
Speaker 1: I well, I don't I don't think perfect perfection exists. Yeah, okay,
especially well there is no perfection in golf. Yeah, right,
so so let's educate me on that.
Speaker 4: What are we saying, great question?
Speaker 3: This is perfection is reference to when we have bitten
into that doubt, like I'm going to screw up, and
then we start it's not just words anymore. We feel it.
We feel like, right, you feel like a little darkness
around us or heaviness. Right, So so we're in that
what I call a downward spiral. And so this is
perfection is it's not about that things are perfect. It's
not whether you like it or not. It's just a
phrase that creates neutrality. And then it just kind of
slows that train down and brings yourself back up to
a neutrality base so that you're you can then put
in in a few moments to a few minutes time
before you hit that ball, I'm going to hit this
really well, and you can start believing it. So this
is perfection, it's it's not about you know how things are.
It's just a neutral phrase to kind of put the
brake on the train, on the negative train, Yes, on
the negative trend.
Speaker 1: You you have a book here that you brought to
show me that you kind of like base thing your
your your golf concept on the path path to Golf
Mastery Quantum Golf Yes, by you said Jella and Hunger, Yeah,
from nineteen ninety one.
Speaker 4: Yes.
Speaker 1: So what is it about this book that you know
with with quotes from Deepak Chopra and Joan Carner, and
what is it about this book that caught your eye
that made you think that the stuff that you're writing
about really does apply to golf in golfers?
Speaker 4: Great? Great question.
Speaker 3: In the book the there's a golfer who is a
is a New York City business person, has had lessons,
plays well, but is uptight, and the trainer, the golf
pro is in another zone. And at first the guy
from New York is kind of like perplexed, like he's
because he goes to Iowa in the first place, and
he's like, what am I going to learn in Iowa?
But that just is the beginning to open him up
and to relax and to get into his authentic swing.
So the trainer is telling him, like he can't tell
him at first because the cup is over over full,
but he's really wanting to clear out the doubts, you know,
his tension that the trainer says, you know, in our mind,
the doubts are going to be there, so we're got
to trick our mind. And so when you start swinging,
say the words super fluid, super fluid, and in that
it does change change the golfer's ability to start hitting
the ball more in a relaxed rhythm, and it begins
the change. And the difference that I take on from
the book is that he's saying the doubts are always
going to be there. And what happened to me that
not only I totally changed it around where there's no
more like I don't have to trick the doubts. I
befriend them. I put my arm around them.
Speaker 1: The buddies are going to be there, yeah, yeah, and
how you deal with them, they are.
Speaker 3: But here's the cool thing, Fred that I've noticed in
myself and other working with others in this that eventually
the doubts no longer need to show up because you've
accepted them, and you've already started to put in yourself.
I am going to hit the ball whale, I am
going to hit the ball straight. I am going to
play well and enjoy myself on this course this day.
So when you are doing that and in putting that
into yourself, the doubt is again is a memo. It's
only there to say, put in this stuff that you're
not putting in. So when you're putting in the positive,
it doesn't need to show up anymore, and it won't. However,
your game's gonna raise, You're going to get better, you're
gonna get clearer, your scores are going to get lower.
The doubt is kind of like the trainer that's always
there to get you better, always, you know, bettering you.
So the storms may lessen, but their blows may be stronger.
But so again. But when you realize when all of
a sudden you're playing and you know, like you know,
you are overwhelmed by feeling or fear or something. When
you've practiced this, then you realize, whoo, something again is
amazing about to happen. If here's the choice, here's the keyword,
the choice to not bite into it, but to refocus
reframe it to get on track, and then you go
wow something when the realization something amazing is about to
happen here, and you you clear that space and again
you get in the zone.
Speaker 1: You had the opportunity to take these thoughts that you
know from this book and put it in a perspective
of the golf and what you were writing about. And
you live in Hawaii. Yes, now all over the place
man on car. Yeah, and so you got a chance.
Tell me tell me about this pass that you just
handed me to the to the twenty thirteen sony open. Yeah,
media paths, Well, I tell me more.
Speaker 3: You know, here is my own if I could be
really transparent, my own story with this is uh well,
first of all, you help me make that possible.
Speaker 4: And I'm really grateful because.
Speaker 3: I needed a media outlet to to apply with and
I shared with them what I would doing and they
just said no problem. You know, I applied and they
I got back to pass.
Speaker 4: So so here.
Speaker 1: That you you accused Golf Smarter of being a media
outlet and they bought it. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna try
that one.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I got you in to an not that Okay,
I'm sorry, go right ahead. Yeah, So here I am.
Speaker 3: You know, I had been to the tournament before but
not nearly but never is like part of the media, and.
Speaker 4: I didn't know what to expect.
Speaker 3: A few days before I went, I was really I
woke up with cold sweats.
Speaker 4: I was so nervous. I was hearing in my head,
who the hell are you? What do you think you
are going to this?
Speaker 3: Like you know, and I and I was yeah and real,
you know, like I was intending to have the opportunity
to to interview some of the wives because again, I'm
the main thing that I do as a relationship coach
and working with people on relationship stuff and this growing
now expansiveness of coaching golfers. So I was real curious
to talk to the wives about, you know, just what
life is like and things of that nature. And there
were a few things potentially set up, but the week
before the tournament in Maui got delayed because of all
the wind and all that. So there were all the
players from there that I had some set up things
with that weren't there. So I was like, okay, new moment,
and so here I am in the media room like
a you know, first kid, like you know, first day
of school, kind of kind of scared, like you don't
know who everyone is and stuff, and they don't know you.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and the new kid at school. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And I walk in and you know, there's all these desks,
you know, like set up with computers and people who
they are. And there was a photographer next to me
who had like five huge cameras and was downloading his
pictures on his computer. And just started talking to him.
And you know, as we were talking, I was more transparent,
told them what I wanted to do. He said, oh,
these guys you know from the PGA, you know, just
tell them what you wanted to do, and they'll, you know,
they'll work it out with you to interview some of
the golfers. And I was like, wow, really, and so
I did. I talked to the guys and they said sure,
you know, there'll be some conference conferences that will be happening.
And then I said, okay, great, And then you know,
it's just kind of like serendipitous. I was walking around
the course, you know, before this is again, before the
tournament started. It was like Tuesday or Wednesday, and I
hear a few guys talking in the stands and I
see a bunch of kids and I get closer and
I go, oh, my gosh, there's Stuart's sync. And he
was talking to the kids kind of like doing you know,
a little training with them. And after the meeting happened
and the kids were, you know, getting their signatures on
the balls and hats and things like that, I asked them,
can I talk to you about the inner game?
Speaker 4: And he was so gracious.
Speaker 3: I was really taken because again, my world has mostly
been in the music field and I deal with a
bunch of divas, you know, like you know, at that level.
But he was just so human, so transparent, so honest,
and I said, you know, talk to me, you know
about do you have challenges with doubts? And he's like, dude,
oh my god, for sure, really and yeah, And he
was very open and shared with me how he's worked to,
like he used the word interrogate his thoughts while he's playing,
and when he's noticed things are going sour, he reminds
himself to what's it all about? Why is he here
in the first place, and that love of the game,
and that helps him refocus and get back to playing
well again. And I was very, very impressed with his humanness,
and he shared with me about his experience of working
with a mental coach and how that's helped him not
only with his game, but with his life with his
wife and his relationship and all of those pieces actually
has helped him in his game on the course as well.
Speaker 1: Wow yeah wow.
Speaker 3: And I also had the opportunity to talk to Johnson Wagner,
who won the tournament to Sony Open the year prior,
and I asked him kind of what kind of suggestions
would you have for amateurs to deal with the doubts
and deal with that inner game challenge, and he said,
slow down, you know, just compose yourself and that really
helps him just to get back to himself.
Speaker 4: And then again did he.
Speaker 1: Did he talk about doubt at all or.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, he didn't get into great detail at
that moment because it was at a press conference, but
he did say the suggestion to amateurs really slow down
your game, take time, and really again get in a sense,
get back in your zone, get find your authentic swing
in that place, feel feel it. And and then again
just walking on the course, Uh, there was you know,
passing by the satellite trucks and there's Frank nobleo, you know,
hanging out a you know, like a golf cart with
a bunch of buddies, and my heart starts beating, like
should I go say hi to him?
Speaker 4: Because you know, you know, I watched him.
Speaker 3: I like what Frank you know, you know, talks about
in the in the game, and and I'm like, yeah,
let's do it.
Speaker 4: And then my mind's like, you can't do that, you know,
you know, who are you to go talk to him?
Speaker 3: Well, again, serendipitous, something happened Fred where a bunch of
the guys something, you know, they they as I was
walking past them, left the area and Frank was just
left with one or two guys. I kind of, like,
you know, cautiously walked up to him and I introduced myself,
and he was again the most gracious human being you
know of And I talked to him about the inner
game and he's like, Kerry, you know, because I share
with him about you know, the musical world and how
the players at this level or the musician at this
level you know often a pretty aloof and won't give
you the time of day.
Speaker 4: And he's like, well, golf, where's you down? Man?
Speaker 3: He's like, it rips you apart. You know, you hardly
ever win, and it makes you honest. And he said,
that's why a lot of these guys like because I
share with him how my experience was. He' said, yeah,
they're just you know, they're just doing their life, they're
doing their game. And and I was, I was really taken.
I was really like, these people were just people with
me and embracing me and giving me time, not like,
you know, pushing me away, because who the heck am I?
You know, I'm just this guy showing up and asking
them these questions. So I took a lot from that
experience and was incredibly impressed.
Speaker 1: Wow. Wow, have you ever noticed how athletes want to
be musicians and musicians want to be athletes?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Someay, sure, there's a lot of musicialll esventually musicians in
golf because yeah, they work at night. Yeah, so what
do you do during the day? Yeah, only go to
so many movies? Right, So, and when you're traveling a lot,
you bring your sticks and you get to play golf. Fascinating.
Tell me about your foundation.
Speaker 3: Ah, the Lotus Arts Foundation, Yes, please sure. The Lotus
Arts Foundation was established in nineteen eighty eight. It initially
was to solely. At that point, I was running a
SPA an areavidk SPA retreat in Colorado, So there's been a.
Speaker 4: Lot of places yeah life. Yeah, And initially it.
Speaker 3: Was set up to give scholarships to people, but then
things kind of grew and I was starting to do
a music residencies and tours in schools around the country
for kids with music. So then we expanded it to
the music and arts and that was really awesome, And
that's kind of the base from where it's at now.
And now again it's growing to incorporate this human psychological
element to where I give talks and around the country,
and it's and helping people to deal with their inner
game of life, with their relationships and now with golf
as well, and with business too. You know, like so
many times, you know, I meet up with people who
are you.
Speaker 1: Know, going into meetings say I suck, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And I see just just this part alone about turning
your doubts inside out is it's its power and effect
is so vast. And by turning it around and go
when you hear like going into a business meeting, I'm
gonna screw this up or whatever, put on the brakes
and catch it and go, oh, this is really exciting,
this is awesome. Why because I just heard I suck
and what is that? It's not telling me I'm going
to I'm going to do bad. No, it's actually saying
if I pay attention here and put in the thought that, Okay,
I accept that I'm going to suck at this business
meeting and I'm not going to get the contract or
whatever I'm looking for, and you just accept that and
then you put in oh, but it's really telling me
there's some magic waiting to happen if that powerful letter word,
two letter word, if I step up here, and if
you do this, your totally energy changes. You become vibrant
and your glow and the success happens. And I've seen
it time and again, unbelievable.
Speaker 1: Tell me now about your book and how we can
access these you know, specific chapters. Now, a book again
is in Love Forever and it's all about your relationships
and whatnot. But there are elements that you think that
are very specific for golfers in there. So what yes
you suggests? And also I just want to say that
the quantum golf the path to golf mastery, which now
do you see this as a helpful thing, or you
saw it as.
Speaker 3: A totally totally help totally wonderful primer for getting you know,
finding yourself and and and readjusting, because you know, when
you get caught in the doubt, it creates fear, and
the fear leads to restriction in your swing, and the
mind gets all confused your you know, and your swing
gets all over the place and so resulting in you know,
mistakes and you.
Speaker 4: You get all tied up and not.
Speaker 3: So the book really is talking about how to refocus
and calm yourself to again, like using the the legend
of bager Vance, find your authentic swing. I think it's
it's very inspiring and and it's a quick read.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's only one hundred pages plus. I mean,
it's not that much more than one hundred pages. Yeah, well,
the epilog starts on page one oh seven. But what
I'm going to do is the book is is still available,
so I'm going to put it in our in our
golfers mart on golf Smarter dot com, so we'll have
so if you go into the book section, you'll see
you can pick up that book, Quantum Golf The Path
to Golf Mastery by somebody named Shelle and Hunger. But
your book and your chapter, how does Golf Smarter remember
and listener get to.
Speaker 4: That great question?
Speaker 3: So the book in Love Forever that I've written with
my past, my late wife Wendy, Seven Secrets to a Joyous,
Juicy Relationship. The book is in the process right now
of being edited and then it's going to be released
and published in the meantime. I would love to be
able to give this chapter about doubts to those that
are interested. So I think, and I truly feel, it'll
be a great help to the golf enthusiasts listening today.
So what if they email you Fred?
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's a PDF for something, Okay, all right,
So what we can do is if you go ahead
and click on the Heyfred button at Golfsmarter dot com
and say that you want to get the chapter about
doubt from Carrie Valentine. I will forward that off to
Carrie and you can have a conversation with Carrie and
even for sure from.
Speaker 4: Charac because that's what he's doing. Yeah, I would love
to great.
Speaker 1: Well, thank you, it's really been helpful and I'm glad
that you were able to get the media passed by
lying about golf smarter and best of luck on this.
I hope it goes well for you. I hope you
get a lot of response and that it starts picking up.
Speaker 4: Thanks so much, thank you so much for having me here.
Fred I really enjoyed this