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Speaker 1: Fast Food Horror is an Abbi normal production.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Fast Food Horror. This episode is chapter three

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of the Shaft.

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Speaker 1: My wife was good to her word. She took me

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directly to the emergency room. I went without complaining. I've

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been married twenty five years and have learned not to

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do so when she is in such a mood. There

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they gave me a complete physical minus the prostrate exam,

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thank god, hooked me up to an IV to make

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sure I wasn't dehydrated, gave me an EKG and an MRI,

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and just to be thorough, gave me a complete blood

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work up testing my glucose and some other big words

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I couldn't understand and didn't know how to pronounce, all

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to come to the conclusion that they had no idea

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why I lost consciousness, but told my wife that I

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was completely healthy. I was released and told to rest

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for a few days before I returned to work. I

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had called my boss between tests at the hospital and

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told her what happened and where I was. She actually

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felt bad and told me to take off as much

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time as I needed. I was not going to argue

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with a few days off, after all, today was Friday,

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so I could start the weekend early. Out of pure exhaustion,

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I managed a few hours of sleep after coming home

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from the hospital. I then crept downstairs and found my

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wife creating lesson plans for her class at the kitchen table,

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as she had taken the day off to care for me.

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I snuck my way past her to the computer in

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the basement, coffee in hand. I had some work to do.

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I was still very curious about the shaft. First was

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the mystery of the door and the verses. I sat

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at the computer and downloaded the picks of the various

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verses etched into the door's face from my phone, English, Latin, French,

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and something else. My eyes walked over the English verse,

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taketh heed a serpent here dwells in the darkness. The

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demon of scales here to its slumbers. Hereto confined, lest

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it feeds and its masion regained. Angels stand resolute, winged,

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centuries on guard, disturb not its tomb Panandoro's boss remain

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Melolo whom for if it feeds, its fortitude regained? Doomed?

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Are we all to suffer its rain? I looked to

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the three other etched languages, all had three verses just

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like the English. But were they the same and what

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did they mean? I took the picks to Google Translate.

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Apparently the photo quality and the etching of the words

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were making it hard for the programs to translate. I'll

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admit that the images turned out darker and had a

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grain equality that made reading a bit challenging. I thought

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about typing in each first, but I'll be honest, my

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typing skills are not the greatest. I am like a

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hen in the yard in the dark, hunt and peck.

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I did not have the patience to do all of that,

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so I called someone that could not say no. Our daughter,

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Live was away at college obtaining her law degree with

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a minor in Spanish. Live was in her fifth year

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and I knew she had a very good understanding of

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Latin because of her law endeavors. She also had many

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other uber smart friends in various programs at college. So

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if Live couldn't help her old man, she knew someone

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that could. And since her mom and I were helping

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with tuition, Live really couldn't say no. I looked at

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the clock, almost eleven. She'd probably still be sleeping, so

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I shot her a text with some of the pictures

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of the door in a way only a dad with

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a dead sense of humor could under these circumstances. In

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the vein of the Great Marlon Brando, I am in

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need of a favor, I typed, and if you will

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do this for me, I will be most pleased, followed

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by a gift of as the Godfather. I read it

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over seriously, reconsidered whether it was funny, then hit send anyways,

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and moved to my next task. I may not be

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a very good typer, but I can navigate myself around

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the interweb. I went to the county property records database

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and put in the address for the parking lot and

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waited as the hits populated. I found that the state

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dot was in fact leasing the property. The property was

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owned by the area diocese. I continued flipping through various

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documents and found that the property had been owned by

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the diocese in some such form for as long as

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they had records dating to eighteen oh eight, the county's founding.

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I then found that the county had been established from

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Genesee County, the neighboring county, and opened a tab to

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their page. I again did the same search for the

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property and found the property listed, whose ownership was again

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the diocese, all the way back to eighteen oh two.

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Why would the Catholic Diocese own property in what, as

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long as I could remember, was the industrial section of

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the city. And even more intriguing is the ownership dates

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all the way back to eighteen oh two. I found

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the help request icon and put in a neatly worded

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request for historical records concerning the property under the Freedom

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of Information Act, with my daughter working on the translation

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as soon as she woke up, and now some anonymous

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government employees searching the historical records on the property. I

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had only one thing left, one stone left unturned, the

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video on my phone. Maybe it showed nothing, or maybe

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there was something something to give me any semblance of

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a clue as to what was down there. I uploaded

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the video to my computers so I could have a

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bigger screen, and opened up the video on the media player,

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then had play. I immediately saw myself on the screen

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and watched as I walked my phone over to the shaft.

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I could see my breath puff in front of my

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mouth with each exhalation. Lips chapped, cheeks are ruddy red.

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I increased the speed on the player. No one likes

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watching themselves on the camera anyways. Besides, I had eight

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hours to get through. I could pause it if I

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actually got to anything good Besides the walls and darkness.

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I watched as the phone was lowered. The shaft wall

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changed from cinderblock to concrete, to cobblestone, then finally a

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carved wall of rock and earth as it made its

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way through the darkness of the shaft. Lower and lower

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it went. After twenty minutes, not quite sure how long

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it was in real time, I started to get more

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than just the wall on my screen. As the phone's

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light shone down the beginning of a hallway, and as

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it lowered the floor, I saw the hallway was occupied.

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On either side of the hall for as far as

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the light would reach. A person stood, No, not a person,

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A winged figure, an angel, unmoving and steadfast, with its

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back to the camera, facing down the hall. Row upon row,

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I studied the screen. Each figure seemed to be carved

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out of alabaster or marble. Each figure faced down the hallway,

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a sword raised in its right hand, wings ready to

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launch it into the air, as if ready to charge

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in that direction. On guard for the attack that they

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felt was eminent. These must be what the verse described

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winged centuries on guard. So where is the serpent? Where

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is Pandora's box? And then the phone began to shake,

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and as it shook, their perspective changed. Slowly. The camera

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view panned up until it faced the shaft and the

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sky above, and then filling the screen was the movement

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of something, something that moved over the shaft and the

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moon above, and then all that was there was black,

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shiny and obsidian black reflecting the phone back at me,

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filling the entire screen with the shiny, inky blackness, and

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then it blinked. I stared in horror, staring at this

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eye that was staring at me. My phone's alert bell

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broke my concentration. I had a voicemail. Apparently the call

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went directly to it. I reached for the phone and

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saw it was live, hit the message and pressed play

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as I stared at the black eye staring back at me,

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studying me. I swear it was looking right at me me.

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My daughter's voice filled the void of the silence.

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Speaker 3: Dad, I don't know where you got these pictures, but

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you found something huge. Everyone here is so excited. You

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need to call me now, and whatever you do, do

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not go in the shaft.

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Speaker 4: Dad, Don't go in that shaft.

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Speaker 2: Itzt.