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Speaker 1: Oh hello, hello, hello, Oh my gosh. This is going
Speaker 1: to be a good episode or a really sad episode,
Speaker 1: or a very embarrassing episode and a naughty episode. Possibly
Speaker 1: I have a question a revealing episode.
Speaker 2: What uh what's going on here? Okay?
Speaker 3: First of all, yeah, I agree. This is like Sisters
Speaker 3: of the Trailing Pan.
Speaker 2: You look like you're auditioning for the Gilmore Girl.
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to change it up a little bit
Speaker 1: too much, just a.
Speaker 2: B my hair.
Speaker 1: I didn't have a chance to wash it the last
Speaker 1: two days and so it's just a little on the flat,
Speaker 1: boring side.
Speaker 2: So I just stuck a hat on. You couldn't You
Speaker 2: couldn't watch wash your hair while you were watching ninety
Speaker 2: dav thing. No, of course not. And that needs my
Speaker 2: complete attention.
Speaker 3: What do you have?
Speaker 2: What's wrong with the top?
Speaker 3: The top is it's basic.
Speaker 2: It's just basic because I you know, I have a
Speaker 2: hat on.
Speaker 3: The hat is awful.
Speaker 1: What's making it's so wawfulcause I look like a page boy.
Speaker 3: It's just it's the wrong decade for that. Yeah, it
Speaker 3: might be the wrong end of the actual this century,
Speaker 3: this millennium.
Speaker 2: Actually, I mean it would be perfect if you were
Speaker 2: in like the eighteen eighties and you selling newspapers during
Speaker 2: the depression, I.
Speaker 3: Understand, Or you were like Hannah Montana in two thousand
Speaker 3: to five.
Speaker 1: So it's like two thousand and early two thousand. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: you know what, I don't care.
Speaker 3: I think the biggest problem is it just doesn't look
Speaker 3: good on me.
Speaker 2: You know what.
Speaker 1: In general, my head is so big that I can't
Speaker 1: fit into most hats. This hat fits me very well.
Speaker 2: It's huge.
Speaker 1: It fits my head perfectly, and it's comfortable. So I
Speaker 1: have kept it.
Speaker 2: Like was it like a feedbag or something before?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, great depression stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh it's cute.
Speaker 3: It's just it looks worse to take it off.
Speaker 1: It's my Brixton.
Speaker 2: Oh them, it's Sice large.
Speaker 1: Course, because my Giant you know what, my favorite hat company.
Speaker 2: I bet people are gonna of.
Speaker 3: Course they will. They will just do it. They will
Speaker 3: say that just to spite us.
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's not how it works.
Speaker 2: On our social media.
Speaker 3: People love to disagree with me.
Speaker 1: No, because everybody, well you you get it, you get
Speaker 1: it kind of hard. Sometimes Eric never does, which is
Speaker 1: wrong because he's the hater.
Speaker 2: Sometimes he is. He's the one that makes the I'm cynical,
Speaker 2: but he's a hater.
Speaker 1: And he's the one that makes the off color commons
Speaker 1: and the naughty.
Speaker 2: But everybody loves Eric, and then I'm just in the
Speaker 2: worst movie opinions of all top That is not true.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 1: Sometimes they're sometimes they're as but a lot of times
Speaker 1: they're way off. And I can always tell when he's
Speaker 1: lying about a movie.
Speaker 2: You can both what do you mean by lying?
Speaker 1: Like, for example, the last movie he saw, Oh, the
Speaker 1: Pamela Anderson movie that we saw, which was horrible.
Speaker 2: Okay, I did not say it was great. I said
Speaker 2: she was.
Speaker 1: Very Okay, Well there was another movie where he's like,
Speaker 1: did you like it was a good and he goes, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was great, like just so blandly.
Speaker 3: Which means on the couch probably.
Speaker 2: It's like, why are you lying to me?
Speaker 1: Why can't you just be honest and say you didn't
Speaker 1: like the movie. You don't have to like this particular movie.
Speaker 2: I don't remember what it was because it didn't happen.
Speaker 3: The problem is is that you love awful movies and
Speaker 3: hate good movies a lot.
Speaker 2: This is coming from somebody that watches like.
Speaker 1: What yeah, me, Yeah, I watch all good things. I
Speaker 1: watch a lot of good That is my brain on pause.
Speaker 2: Show you a lot of those I know. I know
Speaker 2: my brain is constantly working rules.
Speaker 3: I have a bachelor, I don't care. I don't watch
Speaker 3: those blind that I do watch, which one love is blind?
Speaker 3: All of those reality shows are all brain off shows.
Speaker 2: I do not partake.
Speaker 1: I should start watching The Bachelor because a lot of people.
Speaker 2: Do watch that.
Speaker 3: You watch real stuff, steer away from reality TV.
Speaker 2: Is I do love documentaries? I do too. I hate
Speaker 2: actually hate documentary. Oh I love documentaries.
Speaker 1: Have you ever seen the show documentary now with It's
Speaker 1: with the two comedians from Saturday Night Live, the guy
Speaker 1: that did Portland, oh and another dude I kind of
Speaker 1: can't remember, but they do fake documentaries and there it's
Speaker 1: so subtly funny. It's called documentary.
Speaker 3: Now you might like that I should like documentaries because
Speaker 3: I am like a big knowledge, but I just because
Speaker 3: I heard. My problem with documentaries is they take a
Speaker 3: lot of like like a very little about like amount
Speaker 3: of information and they turn into.
Speaker 2: Like two hours long some of them.
Speaker 3: Yes, I was like, I could read an article about
Speaker 3: this in literally ten minutes and get all the information.
Speaker 1: Some of them do drag on and do create that.
Speaker 1: But okay, enough of that now. Look, Eric has a
Speaker 1: story to tell. He has a host chat. But I
Speaker 1: want to just tease what I'm going to talk about.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I brought it down.
Speaker 2: Let's just do it. Came in the mail, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: we'll do yours. I'm teasing. Mine's called book.
Speaker 1: You'll see no, no, would you stop? Don't guess right now,
Speaker 1: don't guess right now. I I think I'm I need uh.
Speaker 2: Talking to God?
Speaker 1: Maybe, or I might be the smartest person on the planet,
Speaker 1: one of those, probably the first one. Okay, that's coming
Speaker 1: up after your topic.
Speaker 2: Now let's just do it real QUI Okay, I'll make
Speaker 2: mine really quick so we can get on tears. I
Speaker 2: have a question for both of you. When you look
Speaker 2: at me, just in my normal in my normal state, like,
Speaker 2: what do you think?
Speaker 1: Do you want us to be completely honest right now, I'll.
Speaker 2: Say you walked into my office and I was at
Speaker 2: my computer typing something like what would what would okay,
Speaker 2: what would you think?
Speaker 3: You have a lot of faces.
Speaker 1: I'm going to be completely honest, and I'm and you
Speaker 1: know that I don't feel like this.
Speaker 2: I don't feel this way.
Speaker 1: But if I were to walk into your office and
Speaker 1: see you sitting there and you looked up at me,
Speaker 1: I'd be like unapproachable. Yeah, okay, unapproachable.
Speaker 3: You have three faces from what I've seen, one is
Speaker 3: your happy, normal face. It's quite pleasant.
Speaker 2: Now when he smiles.
Speaker 1: It's great lights of room.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Your second one is your very ditsy like I'm
Speaker 3: listening very intently face like, but it's kind of like
Speaker 3: I have I may, I might not have any clue
Speaker 3: what's going on.
Speaker 1: It's like like he's thinking about his wheels are turning.
Speaker 3: Or he's not thinking, but right exactly. The third one
Speaker 3: is your your sour gay face. It's very sour. It's
Speaker 3: very very flamboyant.
Speaker 2: I've come to after being told that they were afraid
Speaker 2: to talk to me because I looked mean. I was like, so,
Speaker 2: I've come to terms with that. My normal face is
Speaker 2: just a scowl. I have resting bitch face. Everyone has
Speaker 2: all the time, most well except Laura. No, no, not really.
Speaker 1: Well, when you do that, you do this is my
Speaker 1: resting face.
Speaker 3: It's not really that's pretty. That's kind of a little
Speaker 3: harsher version. You don't only have RBF I do.
Speaker 1: I know you do, and you're like, you do too.
Speaker 3: Yes, I do. Mine's pretty intense.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you are unapproachable as well. That's not as much
Speaker 1: as you could be. It depends on the day.
Speaker 2: I think in the setting.
Speaker 1: And the setting. See the work setting, it's rough.
Speaker 2: I know if you if I.
Speaker 1: Just if I, if you were expecting me, you would
Speaker 1: greet me with a smile. I know that, Like if
Speaker 1: you if I was a client, you were expecting me,
Speaker 1: you would be you'd have a smile. But if I
Speaker 1: just came up to your desk, like randomly, and I
Speaker 1: was a stranger and I walked in, oh boy, oh
Speaker 1: hell no, I think you give me a look like,
Speaker 1: what the eff are you doing in front of my doors?
Speaker 3: Sassy too, You're a little sassy.
Speaker 1: He's not not quite at the beginning.
Speaker 2: He's more kurt. He's more it's it's.
Speaker 3: Got that little sassy sarcasm to it though.
Speaker 1: When he starts warming up and then he finally gets
Speaker 1: to Eric like it starts off he is he's kind
Speaker 1: of quiet, says not very that much, and then like
Speaker 1: he'll start opening up and then do the.
Speaker 2: Sarcastic thing, Hello, can I help you? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Or just Tello did something?
Speaker 1: Yeah, uh yeah, or yeah he could. He would say
Speaker 1: kind of help you, like I'm really super busy right now,
Speaker 1: what are you doing in front of my desk?
Speaker 2: That's the vibe you give off.
Speaker 3: God forbid someone be slightly in the wrong. You're like, well,
Speaker 3: you should have. You're fifteen minutes late for your appointment.
Speaker 1: Oh, I know, I know.
Speaker 2: I have a story to tell you.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if I should tell it.
Speaker 2: If i'm If I'm doing my thing, you do your
Speaker 2: If yours is work related, you might be I know.
Speaker 2: Well it was just embarrassing for herself. Well, we'll get
Speaker 2: you in trouble.
Speaker 1: Will spill it, give us a give us a vaguer.
Speaker 2: I'll tell you off air. No, that's not fair to people.
Speaker 2: If it's work related, don't push it.
Speaker 1: Could this get you and.
Speaker 2: Live there anymore? Well then, who gives a rats?
Speaker 3: But I don't think.
Speaker 2: I'll tell it later.
Speaker 1: Here, give me here, turn off the sound and I
Speaker 1: want to hear one sense.
Speaker 2: Let's get on. Well, I'll tell you one sentence. Okay,
Speaker 2: does it look like I have a crystal ball? Just
Speaker 2: say it?
Speaker 1: He has it. This is a while ago, and you
Speaker 1: don't do this now.
Speaker 2: But you did this one. No, this was today. Don't
Speaker 2: say it then. It's funny though it's not that me.
Speaker 2: I don't jeopardize your all right, dang it, it's easy
Speaker 2: for you, Lauria. You barely have a job.
Speaker 1: I know, right, jeez, I walk the line always and always.
Speaker 3: But I guess in conclusion sometimes, yes, you do have
Speaker 3: pretty bad RBF, but like not like the worst.
Speaker 1: No, not the worst I've ever seen. Oh, it's just
Speaker 1: so opposite of who you are.
Speaker 2: That's it, totally is. And I don't just sit like
Speaker 2: at my desk like gritting like an idiot. No.
Speaker 3: If he's if he's hating though, if he's in his
Speaker 3: hater mode, he's it's pretty Oh.
Speaker 2: If I'm annoyed, pretty bad.
Speaker 1: It takes them a while to get out of that mode,
Speaker 1: the annoyed mode. Once you get in it, it takes
Speaker 1: a minute for him to get back up.
Speaker 2: An hour.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe so I wasn't wrong unapproachable yep, but
Speaker 1: not the case.
Speaker 2: Not you not. Oh okay, I do have one that
Speaker 2: I can tell. This was at work, but it didn't
Speaker 2: involve anybody clients. No, okay. So I was going to
Speaker 2: lunch and I see a woman on our park, on
Speaker 2: our front park, with two dogs and they're on the
Speaker 2: lawn and there's no dogs allowed on the lawn. So
Speaker 2: as I was walking by, I was like, Hi, you know,
Speaker 2: I work in the man and I'm I always start
Speaker 2: off nice. So he says and I said, I work
Speaker 2: in the management office. I just want to let you
Speaker 2: know that dogs aren't allowed on the lawn. She whips around,
Speaker 2: looks at me, and she goes, they're not pooping or ping,
Speaker 2: and then the gloves were off.
Speaker 3: Oh god, I kind of feel like these stories are
Speaker 3: really uncharitable retelling.
Speaker 2: And I was like, well no, and I said, those
Speaker 2: are dogs, right and she said yeah, and I go,
Speaker 2: then they're not allowed on the lawn. Read the signs.
Speaker 2: So he's so blunt. Yeah, I was like, because people
Speaker 2: are some people are.
Speaker 3: Just stupidhandle like, yeah, so most people are not this
Speaker 3: bitchy in your life, and everyone he talks through apparently
Speaker 3: super b.
Speaker 2: Because people are so entitled.
Speaker 1: I don't think that he can't.
Speaker 2: Deal with that. I can't.
Speaker 3: And I think you have like a lens that you
Speaker 3: filter things through where it adds ten percent like bitchy.
Speaker 2: And we had to give ourselves our employee reviews and
Speaker 2: it says like name things that you're good at, and
Speaker 2: name name one thing that you need to work on,
Speaker 2: and them all my resting bitch face, Like when people
Speaker 2: are stupid that I can't believe that I'm hearing that
Speaker 2: they're actually looking in this face and saying what they're saying,
Speaker 2: you have to.
Speaker 1: You have to engage with them.
Speaker 2: That's what I was like, because there were more on
Speaker 2: so I literally am like, okay, thank you. I start
Speaker 2: to walk away. She lifts her dogs back on the
Speaker 2: lawn and I walk back over them. All what part
Speaker 2: of get your dogs off the lawn? Don't you understand? See?
Speaker 1: And those eyes are so vicious right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she's like out and I'm all, get them
Speaker 2: off my lawn, get off my line.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, Okay, I just want to say I
Speaker 3: just I kind of suspect the conversation.
Speaker 2: A little bit more.
Speaker 3: Went like like, excuse me, uh, there's no dogs allowed
Speaker 3: on you were I'm sorry, they're not peeing or pooping.
Speaker 2: He goes, WHOA read the sign, lady, no dogs?
Speaker 3: Okay, that retelling does not is.
Speaker 2: I walked up and I identified myself because for the
Speaker 2: law no dogs, well, you know, I could be like
Speaker 2: Gladys Krabits like you know, so I always identify myself
Speaker 2: showing your badge and your gun.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then I don't think you said it as nice
Speaker 1: as you Yeah.
Speaker 2: No I did. I did. I said it very nice, Okay,
Speaker 2: I would tell you if I was a straight up bitch.
Speaker 3: I don't think you know those the thing. I don't
Speaker 3: think you were straight up, but I think there was
Speaker 3: just a little bit, like a little bit of like
Speaker 3: bitchiness in there that made her react, Yeah, no, no, no,
Speaker 3: excuse me, there's no dogs allowed.
Speaker 2: I worked out there's no dog exactly exactly exactly what
Speaker 2: I said. I walked up and I'm like, hi, I
Speaker 2: work in the management office here. I just wanted to
Speaker 2: let you know. And she's literally standing right in front
Speaker 2: of one of the huge signs that says no dogs
Speaker 2: allowed on grass. She couldn't read it. She was standing
Speaker 2: in front of him. Good, good one, Laura, great way
Speaker 2: to play the Devil's at good well. No, And while
Speaker 2: she's like literally close to read it is the yeah,
Speaker 2: She's like, god, what's this sign? And then when she
Speaker 2: was a bitch, I was like, oh no, I think
Speaker 2: you missing.
Speaker 3: I think you have a very low threshold for what is.
Speaker 1: But then again, we don't. We're we don't have to
Speaker 1: deal with customers service type stuff as much as I.
Speaker 3: Deal with clients every day.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, oh yeah you do, don't you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I deal with rich clients and when they're entitled
Speaker 2: and bitchy. I'm all, oh, uh uh that is going
Speaker 2: to stop right now. Yep, I don't know. I'm a
Speaker 2: little go ahead, can't wait.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, now I saw this and it's from our
Speaker 1: our favorite team.
Speaker 2: Stop buying stuff from both of you.
Speaker 1: Just hey, you don't see there's only five packages a
Speaker 1: day that arrive here. It's just every once in a
Speaker 1: while you go through it and you see something interesting,
Speaker 1: and I'm like this.
Speaker 2: That is a very terrible retelling of your side of it.
Speaker 2: I know I look at it every day.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was just there is quite frequently stuff I
Speaker 3: send him.
Speaker 2: My strawd ideas and stuff. I always tell her, I
Speaker 2: bite you something.
Speaker 1: Get ready when it's instead of death scrolling through Instagram
Speaker 1: like I death scroll through TIMU.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, no, wonder you know I have it helps.
Speaker 2: I have the code to the Dark Web of Temo.
Speaker 3: So I the Dark Web of Tune.
Speaker 1: Okay, so, oh god, I'm going Let me preface this
Speaker 1: by saying, when I do this, I go with usually
Speaker 1: my roommate Antonio, because he likes to go and he
Speaker 1: always will float me a hundie to go gamble at
Speaker 1: a casino. I really think it's fun. I play the
Speaker 1: penny machines. I don't go over, but sometimes I'll win.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: But the problem is, I think, wait, if I have
Speaker 1: three hundred dollars, now, I could make this into seven hundred.
Speaker 1: Oh god, I saw this thing and I went, this
Speaker 1: is brilliant. This is going to help me come home.
Speaker 1: Oh no, more money than I've ever come home with.
Speaker 1: Next time I go to the casino.
Speaker 2: Oh god, so it came today.
Speaker 1: It looks like a book.
Speaker 3: It's a fake book. Okay, this is going to help you.
Speaker 1: Yes, this is going to help me. I'm going to
Speaker 1: put it in my purse.
Speaker 2: It's a safe, oh Jesus, with a key.
Speaker 1: I'm going to lock it before I leave. There's little
Speaker 1: slits right here that you can.
Speaker 2: Stick money in.
Speaker 1: So when I win any money from that one hundred dollars,
Speaker 1: it's going in here. I cannot physically get it out
Speaker 1: without the key, which I'm going to leave it home. Okay,
Speaker 1: I would not then I come.
Speaker 3: Home to a casino. Why Because if I'm on the
Speaker 3: casino and I'm a CD character and I see a
Speaker 3: lady shoving money into a lock box she has kept
Speaker 3: with her I'm going to rob her. Oh it makes
Speaker 3: it sound like you have a butt ton of money
Speaker 3: on you you carry around a lock box.
Speaker 2: They're not.
Speaker 1: But it looks like a book, right, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to shove it in like right, Hey, everybody.
Speaker 2: Look, I've got money, oh sliding this book. But I
Speaker 2: bet you anything I can rip this off, anything that
Speaker 2: I probably will awfully flips give me my money. I
Speaker 2: think what you better do is let me hold just
Speaker 2: stop going. God, this is a disaster.
Speaker 3: That is the worst excuse I've ever heard to gamble more.
Speaker 2: I know I don't embarrassing and.
Speaker 3: So you're better with your money. This is just so
Speaker 3: you can feel better about gambling more.
Speaker 1: Luckily, I don't have like a mortgage or like I
Speaker 1: have money like that rent is well no, I mean
Speaker 1: I don't have enough, Like.
Speaker 2: I don't have a mortgage. I just have rent. I
Speaker 2: don't I don't have the supply to play with.
Speaker 3: Well that's the problem about people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate to tell you this that if somebody
Speaker 2: wanted to rob you of your forty three cents, they
Speaker 2: probably could.
Speaker 3: And someone walking around with a book safe is a
Speaker 3: prime target to Yeah.
Speaker 2: It will be in my purse and I'll just stick
Speaker 2: it like this. Here's here's how this all go down. Laura.
Speaker 2: I want you to go grab your purse right here.
Speaker 1: It's a big, big, big Okay, okay, the book fits
Speaker 1: in my first fun.
Speaker 3: She's like, I'm just gonna do I've got this money here,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna do some light reading real quick from
Speaker 3: a book called Paris.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, we'll see this.
Speaker 3: Well this is good idea. What are you doing? Okay,
Speaker 3: you just won seventeen pushed the mic.
Speaker 2: I won no with that hundred.
Speaker 1: Now I have three hundred, but I'm going to keep
Speaker 1: a hundred because I'm gonna keep playing.
Speaker 2: But I'm going to put the two.
Speaker 3: Hundreds instead of walking away with it like a couple
Speaker 3: of hundred. Now you're only walking away with a hundred.
Speaker 1: Because I just got there and I just once. I
Speaker 1: want to stay a little longer.
Speaker 2: So so you you just just one, you know, seventeen
Speaker 2: dollars or whatever, seventeen bucks.
Speaker 1: I seventeen hundred dollars.
Speaker 2: Put it in there. Put it in there, Okay if
Speaker 2: I can. I couldn't even fit it in these Okay anyway,
Speaker 2: so hello, oh my god, I'm gonna read are you
Speaker 2: Laura Kane. Yes, hi, Oh my god, I am such
Speaker 2: a huge fan. I've watched you on Jeff and Jair.
Speaker 2: I've been taking every purse party. I listen to the
Speaker 2: podcast every single week, twice a week. I love you.
Speaker 2: Could I have your autograph? Really? Yes? Oh my god?
Speaker 2: If you say my napkin, there's a pen right there.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want to you saw your napkin?
Speaker 2: Yes? Please, thank you? Okay, this is a napkin. What's
Speaker 2: your name? Rick? Rick?
Speaker 1: Okay, Rick, thanks, thank you for thank you so much. Okay,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 3: There, perfect?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't need it. Yeah, really yeah?
Speaker 3: Bye?
Speaker 1: Bye, okay Rick, see you, okay, bye, Okay.
Speaker 2: I know what you did.
Speaker 3: That was so stupid. I'm sorry. That's not how that
Speaker 3: dumb skin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but look how easy it was for me to
Speaker 2: get you.
Speaker 3: How that works? She's like, He's like, oh, go grab
Speaker 3: that pan over there. She's like, okay, I'll leave my
Speaker 3: purse right here with my money.
Speaker 2: Say, oh, did you did you know you get robbed?
Speaker 2: How that's going to go down?
Speaker 3: No, you get robbed when you're walking out to your car.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'll just beat you over the head.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm with somebody. They're not going to rob me.
Speaker 1: I'm not by myself.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, don't take a money lock box crappy
Speaker 3: one to a casino shoving bills into there, because people
Speaker 3: will think you got like ten grand in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm going to try it at least. Oh Jesus, okay.
Speaker 1: And I will come back and report to you if
Speaker 1: if you incredible.
Speaker 3: First she has been gamble some more to try it
Speaker 3: out more.
Speaker 2: Last words should be chloroformed and putting someone's trunk. Yeah,
Speaker 2: this is this is the problem. Give us the key
Speaker 2: to the book of money. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: See, well, at least I'm kind of outing myself a
Speaker 1: little bit that I might have.
Speaker 2: Well, I do have addiction problem. So yeah, Now, any
Speaker 2: anybody that's slightly off that sees you in a casino
Speaker 2: is gonna grab your purpose.
Speaker 3: Like, oh wow, what book you're reading?
Speaker 2: It's huge.
Speaker 3: And she's like, it's Paris.
Speaker 2: Paris in the spring.
Speaker 3: Oh what happens in it?
Speaker 2: Oh you know Paris and you can hear jingle jangle.
Speaker 2: I want to read that book too. I'll take it now.
Speaker 2: Can I borrow it from you? Oh my god?
Speaker 3: Can you unlock it?
Speaker 2: Oh god?
Speaker 1: Okay, So we're gonna play, and I've decided again, I'm
Speaker 1: going to tell you one of the Rando news stories
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna play a naughty game.
Speaker 2: Oh perfect in the gutter. I don't like naughty games.
Speaker 1: Well it's time we got it. We're gonna get a
Speaker 1: little naughty. Are you okay with that?
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not going to answer anything, but I'm
Speaker 2: not going to answer. I totally will.
Speaker 1: Yes, you you're gonna Are you gonna play? You don't
Speaker 1: have to say any of the words I'm saying. You
Speaker 1: just have to guess.
Speaker 3: I'm restortable.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be I'm going to remain respectable.
Speaker 1: All right, speaking irrespectable, Laura is not.
Speaker 2: Clean slate and go.
Speaker 1: Dune jewelry dot is the most respectable jewelry place online
Speaker 1: and they even have stores. Unfortunately, they don't have any
Speaker 1: stores in California, but they do have a website of course,
Speaker 1: dunejewelry dot com. And I've ordered several things from Doune
Speaker 1: jeby because not only are they just top notch high quality,
Speaker 1: you get to customize them and if you want to
Speaker 1: wear some of your loved ones ashes, you can send
Speaker 1: them in and have them made into a beautiful piece
Speaker 1: of jewelry like this little heart, simple little heart, great,
Speaker 1: so pretty. So it comes with this really quality box.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Inside the box it tells you who made the piece
Speaker 1: of jewelry. My piece of jewelry was made by Isaiah,
Speaker 1: handcrafted by Isaiah.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Then they also include a little booklet that shows you
Speaker 1: all the different stones, all the elements, power stones, flowers,
Speaker 1: sea elements, shells, sand little booklet. And then this was
Speaker 1: my favorite part. It says in loving memory of David Heater.
Speaker 2: And that this is my dad. It's just this company
Speaker 2: is just so.
Speaker 1: Special and I'm so happy to be talking about them
Speaker 1: with you. And I know you love your ring.
Speaker 2: I love both of my rings.
Speaker 1: So check them out dunjewelry dot com. It would be
Speaker 1: a great Mother's Day gift, a great Birthday gift, a
Speaker 1: great Easter gift, a great I Love you gift, a
Speaker 1: late Valentine's Day gift. If you didn't get somebody something
Speaker 1: or something that you want to buy for yourself. This
Speaker 1: is something I'm never going to take off ever, and
Speaker 1: that one I only took it off once. Loves I've
Speaker 1: gotten it, so I love it.
Speaker 2: So much.
Speaker 1: For the best part is if you go and you
Speaker 1: find something you love and you customize it or whatever.
Speaker 1: You can pick ones that they'ren't customized so they're all beautiful.
Speaker 2: Put in Laura.
Speaker 1: Kane fifteen Laura Cane fifteen. When you check out, you'll.
Speaker 2: Get fifteen percent off your order.
Speaker 1: Yes, it's a big, big deal. So anyway, dune Jewelry
Speaker 1: dot com. Check them out and look on our website.
Speaker 1: If you are like, wait, what was that company she
Speaker 1: was talking about, go to Laura Keane after Dark dot com.
Speaker 1: So there's a Lincoln Sorry Jewelry.
Speaker 2: We love you. Yeah, we love you.
Speaker 1: Holly Daniels Christiansen, you are amazing and okay, now random
Speaker 1: news real quick. Arizona has come up with legislature to
Speaker 1: come up with an official state greeting and they've picked
Speaker 1: a greeting Arizona, Arizona.
Speaker 3: I got it. It's you'll regret being here within five minutes.
Speaker 1: Nope, this is the official you know, everybody, we all
Speaker 1: every state has an official what animal and official flower?
Speaker 1: Californias is the poppy? Right, yes, and then the bear? Okay,
Speaker 1: Arizona wants to make howdy oh their official state greeting.
Speaker 2: I feel like they can't claim how do you? I
Speaker 2: feel the same way. That's Texas's, you know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: Arizona was wild wild West at one point, so maybe
Speaker 3: that's fair.
Speaker 1: But when you hear howdy, don't you think immediately Texas?
Speaker 1: Do you think I've met a cowboy? Like?
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think what do you think California's official greeting should be?
Speaker 3: Piss off?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: Like something like go home? For sure? We go home.
Speaker 2: We love it here, but well you'll never know. No
Speaker 2: run for your life.
Speaker 3: We hate ourselves just as much as we hate you.
Speaker 2: We love ourselves.
Speaker 1: Just it's really pretty here and really beautiful, and the
Speaker 1: ocean's great, but it's not easy living here. It's kind
Speaker 1: of hard.
Speaker 2: Don't worry. We're all one bad pay check away from
Speaker 2: being homeless. Yes, Trio, that's right.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, go to Hollywood and see what it.
Speaker 2: Really looks like. We are pretentious.
Speaker 1: Okay, I have a question, and then we're to play
Speaker 1: a dirty game. What is the best lesson you learned
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty four? What is the best lesson you
Speaker 1: learned last year? And mine is very much something that
Speaker 1: people say, but I've never really done, and I'm starting
Speaker 1: to work smarter not harder. Yeah, work smarter not harder
Speaker 1: is so valid and I've I learned that last year
Speaker 1: big time because I almost burned out big time. So
Speaker 1: now I'm trying to work smarter about things than so
Speaker 1: hard for so little. You know, what about you?
Speaker 2: Oh? So easy that I don't give a flying fuck?
Speaker 2: Whoa about douchebag narcissists? Okay?
Speaker 1: Oh okay, oh okay, I go.
Speaker 2: There is a big there, what about you?
Speaker 3: This one saved me a lot of pain. When you're
Speaker 3: washing spoons, always wash it with the scoop part pointed down. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I would say that was because before I would get
Speaker 3: drenched doing the dishes every time. That is same with
Speaker 3: wine glasses. Sometimes if you get the bad that can happen. Also, also,
Speaker 3: if you're washing glass, don't go from hot water cold
Speaker 3: water quickly.
Speaker 2: They will explode.
Speaker 3: Oh you didn't know this?
Speaker 2: No, I did not mean.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you wash through? I don't have a dish
Speaker 1: washer wash. I washed it the other day and my
Speaker 1: Mariamo wast freaked out.
Speaker 3: She's like, who broke in?
Speaker 2: Are you doing wash up? I'm like, yeah, I'm doing
Speaker 2: the dishes. She's like, you're washing up. It's called.
Speaker 1: Don't make fun of me because I never do the dishes.
Speaker 2: I have a dishwa shirt and I still do my dishes.
Speaker 2: I like washing by hand better. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I ate doing the dishes so much when I was
Speaker 1: a kid. Did I tell this last last episode about
Speaker 1: what my dad used to do?
Speaker 2: I don't think so. Oh.
Speaker 1: That was one of my chores was to do the
Speaker 1: dishes after dinner. And I would put it off, procrastinate,
Speaker 1: go fart around, do stuff. He would get so mad
Speaker 1: that this happened maybe three or four times.
Speaker 3: Just but real quick, don't speak too ill because he
Speaker 3: is listening.
Speaker 1: Oh he Oh no, he's excited. He's excited. I'm telling
Speaker 1: the story because he wants somebody else to use this.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: I went into my room. He had taken all the dishes,
Speaker 1: with all the leftover food, not even thrown in the
Speaker 1: trash at all.
Speaker 3: That.
Speaker 1: He scooped up all the dishes off the dinner table,
Speaker 1: took the comforter off my bed, put the dishes in
Speaker 1: my bed, put the comforter over my bed, and I
Speaker 1: went in to get into bed, and there were the dish.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is amazing.
Speaker 3: That's a little crazy.
Speaker 2: I thought I loved your dad before. I probably love
Speaker 2: them now. When we're listen, when we're old and living
Speaker 2: together in an old age trailer or whatever, I'm gonna
Speaker 2: do that to you.
Speaker 1: No, dom because I still don't do them. If maybe
Speaker 1: I have PTSD, maybe that's why.
Speaker 2: I don't do them. I shouldn't make fun of PTSD.
Speaker 2: That's no, that's no joke. But seriously, you have PTSD.
Speaker 1: I still hate I can't, I hate, I hate it.
Speaker 2: I know. Okay, Well, we're gonna have to have a
Speaker 2: honey Doo list when we're old and living together. You
Speaker 2: seem to like it, and tell me when I'm older
Speaker 2: than I am now, I'm not gonna probably like it.
Speaker 2: I'll entertain you because she's going to be eating beige
Speaker 2: food all day long.
Speaker 3: It's going to be a con spark personal.
Speaker 2: It's going to be a barrage of like dirty dishes
Speaker 2: all day. So we'll just know. We'll just eat on
Speaker 2: paper plates, so.
Speaker 3: You random news while you do the dish.
Speaker 2: Ye like my art, right, my art right's. I'll probably
Speaker 2: be so bad I won't even be able to hold
Speaker 2: a dish. So we'll just do paper plates and paper
Speaker 2: cups and paper plates are great, actually, plastic.
Speaker 1: Forks, and then hurt the planet and then the aliens
Speaker 1: are going to come faster than they already are going
Speaker 1: to get.
Speaker 2: We'll be dead soon. So oh my gosh, leave it
Speaker 2: to my generation.
Speaker 3: We'll fix it.
Speaker 1: We really need to have a whole show about us.
Speaker 2: We already don't know. Yes we do, Yes we do.
Speaker 3: Your stuff can be doing probably like ten minutes. I
Speaker 3: see your YouTube history. I know what you're I was
Speaker 3: gonna say, have you seen it lately? And I roll
Speaker 3: my eyes like, oh.
Speaker 2: No, oh my god. There's like there's like cringey stuff.
Speaker 2: Guys who used to be in the military that do
Speaker 2: no stuff that really can't even say stuff. They are
Speaker 2: no evidence.
Speaker 1: They can't.
Speaker 3: That's not true.
Speaker 2: I mean, okay, I can't. I can't. I'm gonna get
Speaker 2: it so mad right now.
Speaker 3: They all you know, It's funny is they all have
Speaker 3: contradictory stories just by all having tops.
Speaker 2: Bullshit, there's no such thing as aliens.
Speaker 3: Okay, that's probably not true, do you think.
Speaker 1: Okay, whatever, this discussion, we're going to shelve it because
Speaker 1: we're doing a whole I'm going to get a UFO
Speaker 1: expert in here. I'm I'm feverishly looking.
Speaker 2: For somebody to speak feverishly.
Speaker 1: I am somebody that has legitimate, like credibility. I'm looking
Speaker 1: for somebody that can speak on this, like an ex
Speaker 1: military person or something like that would be a hard get.
Speaker 3: But the military has no more information than.
Speaker 1: You do, or they're not willing, they're not allowed to say.
Speaker 2: There's a lot of people in the military. There's no
Speaker 2: way that a secret.
Speaker 1: That all right, change the word, changing topics, music, I
Speaker 1: don't know, just hurt on something. Okay, real quick, we're
Speaker 1: going to play a quick round of mind in the gutter.
Speaker 1: I'm going to read you some sentences and you have
Speaker 1: to tell me what word am I trying to say
Speaker 1: or am I describing? Okay, oh okay, so you don't
Speaker 1: even have to say anything.
Speaker 2: You just these words.
Speaker 3: Aren't naughtyntinue continue.
Speaker 1: When I work on your hole, I start to come
Speaker 1: out of my pants.
Speaker 2: When I work on your hole, I start to come
Speaker 2: out of my pants. You want me to poke with
Speaker 2: force screwdriver?
Speaker 1: I poke once to clear your clog, snake, if there's
Speaker 1: too much hair in the clog, I need a longer plunger.
Speaker 2: No starts with a plumb snake plumber.
Speaker 3: Oh, okay, he comes out of his pants.
Speaker 2: Because you know, a plumber's butt like the butt crack,
Speaker 2: a plumber's crack. It's just plumber, a plumber all right,
Speaker 2: all day long.
Speaker 1: It's in and out all day long.
Speaker 2: It's up and down. There you go.
Speaker 1: Oh good, I know when you blow me with your mouth,
Speaker 1: I slowly get bigger. Oh, you can't live without me.
Speaker 2: You like to play with me.
Speaker 1: You play with me before bed, at work, you hide
Speaker 1: me from others. You only allow a select fee to
Speaker 1: touch me hair. No, but this is kind of irriic,
Speaker 1: because he doesn't let anybody touch his.
Speaker 2: Face. You can't live without me. You like to play
Speaker 2: with me.
Speaker 1: You play with me before bed, at work, you hide
Speaker 1: me from others.
Speaker 2: Sometimes phone.
Speaker 1: It might be painful when I go into your mouth, floss,
Speaker 1: I'll make you cruel with the just one move, there
Speaker 1: you go. Sometimes you have to poke me to make
Speaker 1: me release water. If you're not careful, i'll leave a
Speaker 1: red stain. Why ew, If you poke my backside enough,
Speaker 1: I'll spray all over ew.
Speaker 2: Some people don't like me on their sausage. Grav No
Speaker 2: red sauce. Nah, it is red. Yes, there you go.
Speaker 2: Catch up. That doesn't really make sense. Hey, they're stretching it,
Speaker 2: but you know it is.
Speaker 1: When you lick me, you need to hold my stick
Speaker 1: lollipop sucker. The more the more you suck, the smaller
Speaker 1: I become lollipop sucker. If you lick me for too long,
Speaker 1: I will soften.
Speaker 2: Ice cream cone.
Speaker 1: When I get warm, I start to melt popsicle. I
Speaker 1: mean you were you were there. All my holes are
Speaker 1: open to you. Your stick needs to be long, straight
Speaker 1: and hard to play with me. If you lack courage,
Speaker 1: don't poke me before you shoot. You often rub your fingertips.
Speaker 2: Pull cue, bowling pull.
Speaker 1: Table You got it. My space is space and will
Speaker 1: soak you through.
Speaker 2: Soak. Okay, you like to stay inside me? Cool? Right?
Speaker 2: Swing Cool?
Speaker 1: I can swing back and forth and you can come
Speaker 1: in from behind. If you bump into me too much,
Speaker 1: I might start to droop. When you hold me tightly,
Speaker 1: you'll draw attention. If you caress me, I might let
Speaker 1: you in. This one's kind of out there flower a door.
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: If I'm soaking wet, you should lay me down, cane.
Speaker 1: You can use your toes to get me off before
Speaker 1: you insert a gas pedal into me. You should know
Speaker 1: your size foot shoe. There you go, There you go,
Speaker 1: there you go.
Speaker 3: Lay me down to dry. That's kind of a weird one.
Speaker 2: If I'm soaking wet, you should lay me down a shoe. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what they're pushing it, but anyway, you
Speaker 1: can stick me in to make your hole wider. Dilator,
Speaker 1: I can help you get your nuts off speculum. After
Speaker 1: you charge my battery, I can help you do it yourself.
Speaker 1: When you finger my trigger, I'll plunge into your hole.
Speaker 2: A gone, no crush, no a drill? Yes good.
Speaker 1: Oh, we'll do a couple more than we're done. I
Speaker 1: might need a pretty appearance. If I'm hard enough, you
Speaker 1: can lick me for a long time, Jolly rancher, bite
Speaker 1: me hard, yeah, Candy, okay, and I'll shoot into your
Speaker 1: mouth some of all the kinds that are when you're doing.
Speaker 2: When you're done playing with.
Speaker 1: Me, you should take off your clothes.
Speaker 2: Fiddling with my head will.
Speaker 1: Make you wet. Shower, yes, oh, you can make me
Speaker 1: take many shapes. The bigger I get, the more it
Speaker 1: hurts you. You might take pride in having me between
Speaker 1: your thighs. Sometimes you have to endure being pricked for
Speaker 1: hours to.
Speaker 3: Finish acupuncher, massage something between your thighs, poonam roller.
Speaker 1: You might take pride in having me between your thighs
Speaker 1: because people don't usually get those there tattoo.
Speaker 2: Oh oh one more?
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, when you shake me, I'll excitedly spray out
Speaker 1: show can. If you drink too much of me, you
Speaker 1: might faint. So water, open your throat and gulp me
Speaker 1: down all at once.
Speaker 3: Alcohol.
Speaker 2: Beer can't beer, I said, alcohol.
Speaker 1: I know, but I need to get it well.
Speaker 2: Okay, one more than okay?
Speaker 1: No final death, final death scores. I don't even know
Speaker 1: we weren't. I sit on your face. Sometimes there's hair
Speaker 1: around me. You're happy when I come. You have to
Speaker 1: use your lips to deal with me. I create dimples
Speaker 1: between your cheeks.
Speaker 2: Straw, no drinking class Wait what say it again?
Speaker 1: I sit on your face. Sometimes there's hair around me,
Speaker 1: A beard, I ask. You're happy when I come. You
Speaker 1: have to use your lips to deal with me.
Speaker 2: Toothbrush.
Speaker 1: I create dimples between your cheeks.
Speaker 2: A smile. Oh, that was stupid. All right.
Speaker 1: One more, you have to pay to get on me. Women,
Speaker 1: I might know everything you want to know.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: If you're not protected, you could catch something nasty from me.
Speaker 2: We have to pay the climb on top of me that.
Speaker 1: You have to pay to get on me roller coaster. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I allow you to have intercourse with strangers.
Speaker 2: Exactly what it says prostitute the internet. Oh God, like
Speaker 2: you you mean discourse.
Speaker 3: I don't think intercourse can mean anything other than you.
Speaker 2: Know what's I don't intercourse.
Speaker 1: It said discourse. No, it said intercourse. It's an intercourse.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say that's not the right word. Discourse
Speaker 3: might be right.
Speaker 1: I'm a four letter word and I end in U
Speaker 1: c k en in.
Speaker 2: I see that's boring.
Speaker 1: Yes, you'll find me hanging below your belt. You have
Speaker 1: to open your zipper to get me off. If I'm
Speaker 1: too tight, it's hard to get me.
Speaker 2: Off underwear hanging below your belt.
Speaker 1: If I'm too small, you can't get me up. If
Speaker 1: I'm really long, I could drag on the ground.
Speaker 2: Hair zipper is close.
Speaker 1: Pants.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm a four letter word. I need to be
Speaker 2: flexible to do me.
Speaker 1: There may be grunting and groaning before you're finished, lift yoga.
Speaker 1: Good job, bom bom Okay.
Speaker 2: Eric wants certain death. Well I got luck.
Speaker 3: Remember anyways, I know, I just totally dis think it
Speaker 3: was a certain time.
Speaker 1: It was the time, all right, you guys, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for watching and listening and putting up with us.
Speaker 1: And we hope you brought a smile to your face.
Speaker 1: Maybe not because Eric's in a grumpy mood today.
Speaker 2: I mean, are you No, I am a hater. W
Speaker 2: was nagative you? You're negative about everything? Was last which
Speaker 2: was two days ago. No, it was not a little bit.
Speaker 2: A little bit.
Speaker 3: I wanted to listen back.
Speaker 2: I want you to listen back and report back to me. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was a fucking delight. No, no, I have to
Speaker 2: mark this explicit once. Once Blake Lively and Ryan Round
Speaker 2: came out, Oh who cares about them? That's enough to
Speaker 2: put anybody in a bad mood. I could not care less,
Speaker 2: was too geez.
Speaker 3: I will continue to watch Ryan Reynolds movies. Sometimes.
Speaker 1: I was just happy to see Jack Nicholson is still
Speaker 1: alive and kicking, and they drug him.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't know anything about had Alzheimer's or something.
Speaker 2: Oh I hope not well. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Anyway, they got him out there to New York and
Speaker 1: said him in the audience, it was really cool to see.
Speaker 2: You probably didn't know where he was. Oh stop, okay, anyway,
Speaker 2: thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 2: Love you, guys, Love you.
Speaker 1: See I got him before he could get me. And
Speaker 1: you know what else, guess what what?
Speaker 2: Love your podcast, Love your podcast. I love you, my
Speaker 2: sweet babies. Bye.