WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.960 When you ask somebody like what you're grateful for, like 2 00:00:02.040 --> 00:00:05.000 I don't know, your brain instantly goes to, like, well, 3 00:00:05.000 --> 00:00:06.799 what would be the correct answer here? 4 00:00:06.960 --> 00:00:07.280 Yes. 5 00:00:07.480 --> 00:00:10.320 With my kids, one of the things that I talked 6 00:00:10.359 --> 00:00:12.640 to them a lot about is like, you can't say 7 00:00:12.720 --> 00:00:15.800 I don't know. You can say anything else, but you 8 00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:19.160 can't say I don't know. Because here's the thing. If 9 00:00:19.199 --> 00:00:22.879 you don't know, nobody knows. You're the only one that 10 00:00:23.000 --> 00:00:26.480 knows you. You're the only one that gets to discover you. 11 00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:29.000 Take the I don't know, like out of the equation, 12 00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:31.879 and what is the first thing that pops? I mean, 13 00:00:31.920 --> 00:00:34.439 it could be like, I'm grateful that you know I 14 00:00:34.520 --> 00:00:37.200 have this water here in front of me. Okay, grin 15 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:41.240 it's those baby steps, like that's the start. Yeah it is, 16 00:00:41.520 --> 00:00:44.640 And think, wow, what an amazing thing, Marcy, that you're 17 00:00:44.640 --> 00:00:45.960 teaching him this. 18 00:00:45.960 --> 00:00:48.759 This is Wake Up with Marcy, a space for honest 19 00:00:48.799 --> 00:00:54.159 conversations about healing, recovery, and women's wellness. I'm Marcy Hopkins. 20 00:00:54.399 --> 00:01:01.960 Take a breath, You're safe here. Let's begin. Hello all, 21 00:01:02.119 --> 00:01:04.359 and welcome back to Wake Up with Marcy. And if 22 00:01:04.400 --> 00:01:08.200 you are new here, welcome. I'm so grateful that you 23 00:01:08.239 --> 00:01:12.560 are here, whether you're watching or listening. I'm your host, 24 00:01:12.599 --> 00:01:17.879 Marcy Hopkins. I'm myself am an author, TV host, motivational speaker, 25 00:01:18.040 --> 00:01:21.239 mental health advocate, and a woman in long term recovery. 26 00:01:21.799 --> 00:01:26.239 And on wake Up, we have honest conversations, real conversations 27 00:01:26.439 --> 00:01:30.879 about healing, recovery, self discovery, and what it takes to 28 00:01:30.959 --> 00:01:35.680 rebuild your life. And if today's conversation resonates with you, 29 00:01:35.719 --> 00:01:38.920 please make sure to like, comments, subscribe, and share this 30 00:01:39.000 --> 00:01:42.159 episode with someone who may need to hear it. Today's 31 00:01:42.200 --> 00:01:46.000 episode is for anyone who's ever felt stuck. Maybe you've 32 00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:51.120 been waiting for more confidence, or waiting to not be afraid, 33 00:01:51.359 --> 00:01:55.000 or maybe you've been waiting for that perfect opportunity. Or 34 00:01:55.079 --> 00:01:58.959 maybe you've convinced yourself that someday you'll finally become the 35 00:01:59.040 --> 00:02:02.959 person you know you're meant to be. But what if 36 00:02:03.000 --> 00:02:09.520 someday starts today? My guest today is Becky Vaness. Becky 37 00:02:09.639 --> 00:02:12.879 is an author, speaker, entrepreneur, and creator of the one 38 00:02:12.960 --> 00:02:16.520 hundred day workbook What Future Are You Willing To Wake 39 00:02:16.599 --> 00:02:21.759 Up To? And it's companion book, Begin Before You Feel Ready. 40 00:02:22.479 --> 00:02:25.960 Through her work, Becky helps people stop waiting for that 41 00:02:26.080 --> 00:02:31.639 perfect moment and begin creating their future through awareness, choice, 42 00:02:31.759 --> 00:02:37.240 daily practice, and intentional action. Her message is simple, but 43 00:02:37.319 --> 00:02:41.840 it's completely life changing. You don't have to feel ready 44 00:02:41.879 --> 00:02:45.520 to begin, you just have to be willing. And today 45 00:02:45.560 --> 00:02:50.680 we're going to learn how to get comfortable with beginning. Now, 46 00:02:50.759 --> 00:02:54.960 let's meet Becky. Becky, welcome to Wake Up with Marcy. 47 00:02:56.080 --> 00:02:58.319 Hey, Marcy, I'm so happy to be here. 48 00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:00.759 It's great to have you. I can't wait to have 49 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:05.360 this conversation with you. And I always love to kind 50 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:10.479 of rewind and find out what brought you to this place. 51 00:03:10.960 --> 00:03:14.360 And I know there's usually like a moment that we 52 00:03:14.479 --> 00:03:18.639 have right and for you, there was that moment that 53 00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:22.199 you described to me early on about that you were 54 00:03:22.240 --> 00:03:25.199 sitting in a car, in your car in tarp and 55 00:03:25.319 --> 00:03:30.479 springs and you were feeling scared and uncertain about your 56 00:03:30.520 --> 00:03:34.840 family's business and finances and things were changing for you. 57 00:03:34.879 --> 00:03:36.719 Can you take us back to that day? 58 00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:41.080 Yeah, yeah, I can. Thank you well. And you know 59 00:03:41.120 --> 00:03:43.599 what's very interesting because when you have those big moments, 60 00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:46.319 you kind of remember, like I live in Florida. I 61 00:03:46.360 --> 00:03:50.439 remember driving and it was sunny, beautiful out, and I'm like, 62 00:03:50.560 --> 00:03:53.639 how was the world so perfect when my world is 63 00:03:53.680 --> 00:04:02.080 falling apart right now. No, yeah, I remember actually really vividly, 64 00:04:02.159 --> 00:04:05.599 like I'm driving my hands around the steering wheel. We 65 00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:10.120 had an amazing real estate business. We basically did like 66 00:04:10.280 --> 00:04:14.240 airbnbs before that was even a thing, and we went 67 00:04:14.439 --> 00:04:18.639 from you know, making nothing to making millions and it 68 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:22.879 was very exciting actually, and then it wasn't right like 69 00:04:23.920 --> 00:04:27.120 then it just wasn't. And I have actually known of 70 00:04:27.160 --> 00:04:29.439 my husband for over thirty years now at that time, 71 00:04:29.639 --> 00:04:33.120 you know, maybe it was twenty years or something, and 72 00:04:33.160 --> 00:04:36.279 he was just done and it was really hard for 73 00:04:36.319 --> 00:04:39.360 me to see him like that. He you know, he's 74 00:04:39.399 --> 00:04:42.839 such a strong, dominant man, and at that time he 75 00:04:42.959 --> 00:04:49.319 just was broken. And I remember driving thinking I need 76 00:04:49.360 --> 00:04:52.399 to do something here. And you know, from this time, 77 00:04:52.519 --> 00:04:55.240 I have three children and I was like the lunch 78 00:04:55.319 --> 00:05:00.160 room mom. I took care of the kids. And you know, 79 00:05:00.240 --> 00:05:03.560 when I was younger, I started college but I never finished. 80 00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:07.199 So for me, I was like, what am I going 81 00:05:07.279 --> 00:05:10.160 to do? Like how can I you know, how can 82 00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:14.639 I help here? And really kind of feeling really down 83 00:05:14.680 --> 00:05:19.560 about myself right Like I didn't have a college degree. 84 00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:22.680 I was a bartender at one time and you know, 85 00:05:22.839 --> 00:05:25.639 nothing wrong with bartending, but you know, at this point, 86 00:05:25.920 --> 00:05:28.720 like I quit drinking, you know, I no longer drink, 87 00:05:28.920 --> 00:05:31.720 and when am I going to go back to being 88 00:05:31.720 --> 00:05:35.360 a bartender with three little kids? And so, you know, 89 00:05:35.399 --> 00:05:37.480 you have those moments in your life where you're like, 90 00:05:38.879 --> 00:05:43.160 I know nothing, what can I possibly do to contribute? 91 00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:46.959 But I knew I needed to do something something at 92 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:53.319 that point, and so I started asking a bunch of questions. 93 00:05:53.360 --> 00:05:55.160 And you know, because I knew what I was doing 94 00:05:55.240 --> 00:05:58.120 is really I'm beating myself up. You how, I was like, 95 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:03.199 I'm not enough, I know nothing. I'm a stay at 96 00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:06.000 home mom. Now I always actually have to do say 97 00:06:06.680 --> 00:06:10.319 I was always like the rocket fuel behind my husband though, 98 00:06:10.399 --> 00:06:12.879 you know, like with our businesses. I don't want to 99 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.199 say I wasn't a part of it, but I was 100 00:06:15.319 --> 00:06:18.680 more of a behind the scenes, uh, part of everything 101 00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:20.439 that was, you know, happening. 102 00:06:21.519 --> 00:06:24.600 So before you continue, because I want to ask you 103 00:06:24.600 --> 00:06:27.639 because you've said some stuff about some mindset, right like 104 00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:31.800 you you had the realization that you were beating yourself up, right, 105 00:06:32.720 --> 00:06:38.040 you were asking yourself in depth questions and a lot 106 00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:41.839 of times that happens. You said you stopped drinking. Yeah, 107 00:06:41.959 --> 00:06:46.319 Now did you stop drinking because you needed to stop 108 00:06:46.399 --> 00:06:50.319 drinking and then you did the work so you were 109 00:06:50.439 --> 00:06:54.800 able to now approach this situation in a different way. 110 00:06:55.759 --> 00:07:00.279 Yeah, one hundred percent. I come from, you know, was 111 00:07:00.680 --> 00:07:03.920 maybe a similar background for many people. My father was, 112 00:07:04.000 --> 00:07:09.800 you know, raging alcoholic. And I started getting older, I 113 00:07:09.959 --> 00:07:14.480 noticed some of the same patterns that I was doing 114 00:07:14.519 --> 00:07:19.560 for my environment. And once I had children, I was like, 115 00:07:19.759 --> 00:07:23.600 I actually want them to have something different. Yeah, I 116 00:07:23.639 --> 00:07:28.720 want them to have something different in life. Now I 117 00:07:28.759 --> 00:07:33.600 want to say, like, am I in recovery? Yeah, but 118 00:07:33.680 --> 00:07:37.319 I also like to say, like I'm in discovery. That's 119 00:07:37.399 --> 00:07:40.639 kind of what happened for me, Like discovering new patterns, 120 00:07:40.680 --> 00:07:48.079 discovering something different from my family. So I became curious 121 00:07:48.240 --> 00:07:53.800 to a different life and made some drastic changes. Yeah. 122 00:07:53.839 --> 00:07:57.439 And let me ask you. You said your husband it 123 00:07:57.519 --> 00:08:01.000 was tired. Was he just burnt out? He couldn't do 124 00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:04.560 it anymore more? I mean, like you say, you're you're 125 00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:08.920 making millions, right, the company is doing really well. Somebody 126 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.240 might say, well, poor you, what's what's the hell? 127 00:08:13.000 --> 00:08:17.040 Yeah, well, we were doing really well and then until 128 00:08:17.079 --> 00:08:19.000 we just weren't, you. 129 00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:22.600 Know, started falling apart. The real estate business change that. 130 00:08:22.759 --> 00:08:27.120 Yeah, it drastically changed. Which you know, these moments in 131 00:08:27.160 --> 00:08:30.079 life are such a gift and I can see that 132 00:08:30.120 --> 00:08:34.159 as a gift now. At the time it wasn't a gift. 133 00:08:34.919 --> 00:08:39.799 We really never were entrepreneurs before. My parents weren't and 134 00:08:40.840 --> 00:08:42.960 I was never. I don't know about you, but taught 135 00:08:42.960 --> 00:08:48.679 about finances. So what we got we spent mm hmmm. 136 00:08:48.879 --> 00:08:51.039 So you know when people say, wow, we made millions, 137 00:08:51.039 --> 00:08:53.960 you should have millions. Well, I'd love to say you're 138 00:08:53.960 --> 00:08:57.360 not a millionaire unless you actually have that in your bank. 139 00:08:57.480 --> 00:09:00.879 If you spend what you make, you just make more. 140 00:09:01.360 --> 00:09:05.159 You have more zeros behind your name. Yeah. 141 00:09:04.080 --> 00:09:07.120 And the other thing I just want to say it 142 00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:11.279 is like you're going through this really difficult time and 143 00:09:11.320 --> 00:09:13.600 it's like, now, how do I step up and support 144 00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:16.200 which you already were, I mean your full time mother. 145 00:09:16.559 --> 00:09:18.639 I mean you're doing the hard work, you have the 146 00:09:18.639 --> 00:09:23.320 hardest job there is, recognizing that. I mean, your husband 147 00:09:23.399 --> 00:09:26.519 is supporting you. And then you say you're the person 148 00:09:26.559 --> 00:09:30.360 behind the scenes. Yeah, we're the ones that do the supporting. 149 00:09:31.039 --> 00:09:34.279 I'm sure you support it in business, and you also 150 00:09:34.360 --> 00:09:37.399 were there to help him to support all of you. 151 00:09:38.399 --> 00:09:42.159 So and I just you know, one of the things 152 00:09:42.200 --> 00:09:46.879 that I love to talk about is we think we're 153 00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:51.600 giving up something, and you say that it's about discovery, right, 154 00:09:51.679 --> 00:09:55.279 and it is because what we're doing when we stop 155 00:09:55.399 --> 00:10:00.559 drinking is we're really getting our life back, right. And 156 00:10:01.279 --> 00:10:04.919 that was the first time I ever got curious. Also, 157 00:10:05.159 --> 00:10:08.600 so you know, just for those out there, like if 158 00:10:08.639 --> 00:10:12.679 you're thinking about drinking, like you're, I thought I was 159 00:10:12.720 --> 00:10:15.080 giving up something also, I was. I was giving up 160 00:10:15.080 --> 00:10:17.080 the way that I'd always coped in my life. Right, 161 00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:21.600 But you're really getting yourself back, and you look at 162 00:10:21.639 --> 00:10:25.960 life in a different way, and you do become curious, 163 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:30.600 and you also become aware of your part in things. 164 00:10:30.639 --> 00:10:35.279 So now you're at this place you're asking yourself these questions. 165 00:10:35.879 --> 00:10:36.799 What came from that? 166 00:10:38.279 --> 00:10:43.759 Well, something actually phenomenal came from it. What I also 167 00:10:43.879 --> 00:10:47.840 like to say is it's these little increments that become 168 00:10:47.919 --> 00:10:52.039 this amazing thing. Right, there are these little moments, they're 169 00:10:52.039 --> 00:10:55.840 the daily questions then that actually create these big things. 170 00:10:56.039 --> 00:10:58.519 And I had no idea. I had no idea at 171 00:10:58.559 --> 00:10:58.879 the time. 172 00:10:59.240 --> 00:11:01.720 Now was overnight, right, No. 173 00:11:03.720 --> 00:11:05.759 I think with the society today, you see all these 174 00:11:05.799 --> 00:11:10.120 wonderful things on social media and you're like, wow, why 175 00:11:10.120 --> 00:11:14.440 do they get that? And I don't, and so you know, 176 00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:16.919 I'm here to tell you that it's these little increment things, 177 00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:20.879 and it was those questions instead. I had two options. 178 00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:23.440 Well I'm sure many options, but I had a couple options. 179 00:11:23.480 --> 00:11:27.600 I could have went to I know nothing, yeah and 180 00:11:28.080 --> 00:11:31.840 dismiss like what you just said, dismiss being the mom 181 00:11:32.039 --> 00:11:35.840 and the what I said earlier, like the rocket fuel 182 00:11:36.120 --> 00:11:40.080 behind my husband, because you know, like i'd like to say, 183 00:11:40.120 --> 00:11:41.639 he probably wouldn't have been able to do what he 184 00:11:41.720 --> 00:11:44.360 was doing without me going you got this. Of course, 185 00:11:44.679 --> 00:11:47.600 when these things come up, I'm like, okay, well what's next? 186 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:54.080 Have this and and supportive, you know, and allowing him 187 00:11:54.080 --> 00:12:00.120 to discover him. And so by asking these questions what 188 00:12:00.279 --> 00:12:02.399 ended up showing up. And it was pretty quick, I 189 00:12:02.399 --> 00:12:04.120 have to say on this one, it was pretty quick. 190 00:12:04.360 --> 00:12:07.919 It was within a week a twelve dollars an hour 191 00:12:08.279 --> 00:12:11.840 marketing job, which I had to say a twelve dollars 192 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:14.519 an hour because even at the time, I was like, oh, 193 00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:16.799 that's not going to cover it, Like that is not good. 194 00:12:17.159 --> 00:12:21.799 That's not going to think these these big bills and 195 00:12:21.919 --> 00:12:23.840 you know, these things that we've created, it's not going 196 00:12:23.919 --> 00:12:27.320 to fix it. But it had like this little nugget. 197 00:12:27.360 --> 00:12:30.279 It had like the spark to it that I was like, Okay, 198 00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:34.600 I don't know anything about marketing. I actually at this point, 199 00:12:34.600 --> 00:12:37.360 I don't even know what I know about anything. And 200 00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:41.960 so that twelve dollar an hour job I went and 201 00:12:42.279 --> 00:12:44.600 I was like, I like to have fun no matter 202 00:12:44.600 --> 00:12:47.279 what I do. And I was there and I had 203 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:51.720 a blast, and just by chance, the lady from corporate 204 00:12:51.759 --> 00:12:55.200 office came in to watch me. You know, they like 205 00:12:55.279 --> 00:12:57.720 to see, you know, and in corporate they want to 206 00:12:57.720 --> 00:13:00.639 see who's talking to their customers. And this was a 207 00:13:00.720 --> 00:13:04.919 market research job. So I'm engaging with their customers, asking 208 00:13:04.960 --> 00:13:08.480 them questions, and they want to see, you know, who's there. 209 00:13:09.240 --> 00:13:12.919 And I've seen her and I did my thing. You know, 210 00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:15.480 I was just present with who I was talking to. 211 00:13:16.519 --> 00:13:18.759 It was a wonderful job. I didn't have to have 212 00:13:18.799 --> 00:13:21.639 a point of view about whether they liked something or 213 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:25.919 what they didn't. I just had to help them discover, 214 00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:30.799 like what they liked about something, and sometimes people have 215 00:13:30.840 --> 00:13:35.720 a really hard time expressing that. And so she was 216 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:37.519 like when we were done, she pulled me aside, and 217 00:13:37.559 --> 00:13:41.399 she's like, you are the most amazing person I've ever 218 00:13:41.440 --> 00:13:45.720 seen at this Yeah, well thank you. Yeah, and she 219 00:13:45.840 --> 00:13:50.440 said I want to hire you. Oh I said okay. 220 00:13:51.360 --> 00:13:54.039 She's like, do you have you know an LLC? And 221 00:13:54.159 --> 00:13:56.879 I was like in my mind, I was like no, 222 00:13:57.960 --> 00:14:01.559 but you know, we've done business. And I knew even 223 00:14:01.600 --> 00:14:06.879 though I didn't know, I was like, yeah, yeah, I do, Yes, yeah, 224 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:09.799 I knew it. I just you know. And so she 225 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:12.480 gave your card and she said call me on Monday. 226 00:14:12.600 --> 00:14:14.960 And I went home and I said that I needed 227 00:14:15.720 --> 00:14:20.320 what's my name going to be? And and and at 228 00:14:20.320 --> 00:14:21.960 the time we didn't have the money for that either. 229 00:14:22.559 --> 00:14:27.879 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, just say yes, right, Like, even if 230 00:14:27.879 --> 00:14:32.720 you're not ready or you're not prepared, or you're you're afraid, say. 231 00:14:32.600 --> 00:14:34.480 You're afraid, you have no idea. 232 00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:35.360 Yeah. 233 00:14:35.720 --> 00:14:38.039 It's the craziest thing that I found in life is 234 00:14:38.080 --> 00:14:40.799 that things show up, these little nuggets. Somebody has the 235 00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:44.399 information for me or you know, well, now you have 236 00:14:44.440 --> 00:14:47.240 the Internet and check GBT, you can figure anything out. 237 00:14:47.799 --> 00:14:51.159 I didn't have that. You know, wow that back then. 238 00:14:51.399 --> 00:14:57.480 Yeah, that's incredible. It's been at an incredible supporter. But 239 00:14:57.600 --> 00:15:00.200 what I what I also hear you saying is like 240 00:15:01.759 --> 00:15:06.080 take a chance, right like you you took a job 241 00:15:06.279 --> 00:15:08.879 that maybe some people might say, well it was it's 242 00:15:08.919 --> 00:15:11.519 only twelve dollars, that's not going to help me, or 243 00:15:11.679 --> 00:15:15.720 that's beneath me and dismiss it exactly. But then it 244 00:15:16.200 --> 00:15:22.840 turned into this incredible opportunity for you. So you keep 245 00:15:22.919 --> 00:15:29.120 saying about asking questions and better questions. Why do questions 246 00:15:29.600 --> 00:15:33.879 matter so much when we are facing that uncertainty? And 247 00:15:33.960 --> 00:15:36.480 how can we get to a place where we even 248 00:15:36.679 --> 00:15:39.799 know what to ask ourselves so we can move forward? 249 00:15:40.480 --> 00:15:42.559 Well, if you noticed I mentioned earlier a lot of 250 00:15:42.559 --> 00:15:44.159 times to do in the market research, I find out 251 00:15:44.159 --> 00:15:48.080 people don't even really know how to express themselves and 252 00:15:49.840 --> 00:15:53.240 so these and you're like, how can a question help me? 253 00:15:53.720 --> 00:15:57.440 Well I noticed now after you know, asking those questions, 254 00:15:57.559 --> 00:15:59.879 instead of going into you know, I can't do this, 255 00:16:00.159 --> 00:16:03.279 it was like what can I do? That was my 256 00:16:03.360 --> 00:16:07.200 steering mole moment. What can I do? Who can I 257 00:16:07.240 --> 00:16:11.360 talk to? Where do I need to go? Show me? Yeah, 258 00:16:12.279 --> 00:16:16.440 and they showed me, and you know, and that's what 259 00:16:16.600 --> 00:16:19.360 was the beginning of it. And when I look at now, 260 00:16:19.399 --> 00:16:22.679 what I realize one of my favorite questions to ask 261 00:16:23.039 --> 00:16:27.039 is what am I amazing at that I have not 262 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:31.320 yet even discovered. M that's a bit different than I 263 00:16:31.320 --> 00:16:33.159 don't know, you. 264 00:16:33.159 --> 00:16:38.440 Know, Yeah, yeah, we we all have. We all have 265 00:16:38.519 --> 00:16:40.799 amazing gifts. We truly do. 266 00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:43.200 Just like you said in You're a Mom, that is 267 00:16:43.240 --> 00:16:45.399 a gift. That is an amazing gift. How many things 268 00:16:45.399 --> 00:16:47.120 do we you know, dismiss that. 269 00:16:47.679 --> 00:16:53.440 School mm hmm yeah, I even right now, I've had 270 00:16:53.480 --> 00:16:59.559 some opportunities present. Yes, and I'm afraid. Yes, it's big, 271 00:17:00.120 --> 00:17:05.039 they ask, Yeah, But I keep telling myself like you, 272 00:17:04.720 --> 00:17:06.599 then you, then you just have to switch it. We 273 00:17:06.640 --> 00:17:09.160 have our little pity parts and we feel sorry or 274 00:17:09.240 --> 00:17:12.680 we feel down on ourselves. But then it's like, first 275 00:17:12.680 --> 00:17:15.680 of all, I do not believe this opportunity would have 276 00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:21.880 come to me if I couldn't do it. And and 277 00:17:21.920 --> 00:17:24.039 then you just in the way you talk to yourself, 278 00:17:24.079 --> 00:17:27.079 it's like, oh, I can do it, or I can 279 00:17:27.119 --> 00:17:30.599 be excited about this, or I can feel scared about 280 00:17:30.640 --> 00:17:34.599 it and feel overwhelmed by it. Like each little step 281 00:17:34.759 --> 00:17:39.440 like you're saying, you know, like that that moves you 282 00:17:39.680 --> 00:17:42.319 towards the thing you want. Yeah. 283 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:48.599 Yeah, And Marcy, I've also found that fear and excitement 284 00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:50.559 are very similar energies. 285 00:17:50.920 --> 00:17:54.279 Yes, turn the fear into excitement, right, isn't that what 286 00:17:54.319 --> 00:17:54.680 they say? 287 00:17:55.480 --> 00:17:58.440 And you know, we talked a little bit about our 288 00:17:58.519 --> 00:18:01.880 childhood and for me, you know, any type of like 289 00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:06.519 spike or anything instantly was fear for me, Like you know, 290 00:18:06.559 --> 00:18:09.119 it's my nervous system. My dad would walk into the 291 00:18:09.160 --> 00:18:12.759 room and I had to figure out already how to 292 00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:21.079 adjust or anything unpredictable was bad and I had to 293 00:18:21.119 --> 00:18:24.319 really look at that. So by looking that, you know, 294 00:18:24.519 --> 00:18:28.960 at I blumped everything into one thing, anything unpredictable, which 295 00:18:29.160 --> 00:18:31.640 you know, taking a court for a job, I'm sorry, 296 00:18:31.720 --> 00:18:35.279 and doing things it's very unpredictable. Getting a new opportunity 297 00:18:35.519 --> 00:18:39.960 is very unpredictable. And so what I like to look 298 00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:43.119 at and ask myself, Wow, is this fear or excitement? 299 00:18:43.799 --> 00:18:49.319 Mm hmm yeah. And would you say though, like with 300 00:18:49.559 --> 00:18:53.720 the unknown, I feel a lot of people worry or 301 00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:57.079 they they feel out of control because they feel like 302 00:18:57.119 --> 00:19:01.200 they always want to control something. Yeah, right, Like what 303 00:19:01.200 --> 00:19:02.680 do you say to someone like that? 304 00:19:04.200 --> 00:19:07.400 Well, all I can say is from my own experience 305 00:19:07.680 --> 00:19:12.839 is that you know, take one step, It's just one 306 00:19:12.880 --> 00:19:16.400 step towards it and then you can always change your mind. Yeah, 307 00:19:16.559 --> 00:19:20.039 take the phone call, take the opportunity, and then you know, 308 00:19:20.200 --> 00:19:23.400 and then look at it, and once again, it doesn't 309 00:19:23.440 --> 00:19:27.880 have to be these big, you know, majestic, miraculous moments. 310 00:19:28.440 --> 00:19:32.960 It's those little steps. I trick myself. Yeah, I would 311 00:19:32.960 --> 00:19:35.400 trick myself into Okay, Gott, you. 312 00:19:35.359 --> 00:19:35.880 Knew about it. 313 00:19:36.680 --> 00:19:38.880 You know, just get on the phone call and see 314 00:19:38.880 --> 00:19:43.400 what happens, see what shows up. And you know, that's 315 00:19:43.519 --> 00:19:46.200 one thing. Like when I got hired, I had to 316 00:19:46.240 --> 00:19:50.359 go to the corporate office and at that moment, we 317 00:19:50.440 --> 00:19:54.160 had no money. Now they pay for everything. And I 318 00:19:54.200 --> 00:19:57.440 also knew the future I wanted to create, so I 319 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:02.119 had to show up as that future mm hm. And 320 00:20:02.200 --> 00:20:04.880 how did I do that? Well? Without having money. I 321 00:20:04.920 --> 00:20:07.880 went to the mall and I bought a beautiful jacket. 322 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:10.880 I still remember it was hot pink. Oh yeah, I 323 00:20:10.960 --> 00:20:14.200 cut the tags on uh huh, showed up with it. 324 00:20:15.400 --> 00:20:18.880 I wanted to be a certain energy and present myself 325 00:20:18.880 --> 00:20:22.319 as a certain person, and I did it. 326 00:20:23.559 --> 00:20:24.880 That's awesome, And then I. 327 00:20:24.839 --> 00:20:25.480 Took it back. 328 00:20:25.960 --> 00:20:29.599 Yeah, but I love that because you know what I 329 00:20:29.640 --> 00:20:32.799 feel like, how you show up is the energy you bring, 330 00:20:33.000 --> 00:20:35.200 be the energy when you walk in the room that 331 00:20:35.319 --> 00:20:39.599 you create a shift, right, But that but that does 332 00:20:39.720 --> 00:20:42.079 have to do a lot. And this is what I've 333 00:20:42.119 --> 00:20:47.880 gotten is more like that self love which comes confidence 334 00:20:48.279 --> 00:20:51.720 and you just believe in yourself in a different way. 335 00:20:51.960 --> 00:20:53.880 And how do you believe in yourself? 336 00:20:54.640 --> 00:20:59.559 Well, today I believe in myself because before I always 337 00:20:59.559 --> 00:21:05.799 looked out side of myself to get validation. And today 338 00:21:06.759 --> 00:21:11.720 because I learned to go within and connect with myself, 339 00:21:11.799 --> 00:21:16.000 connect with my higher power, get curious about myself, and 340 00:21:16.279 --> 00:21:20.640 that allowed me to start believing in myself more. And 341 00:21:20.680 --> 00:21:23.200 the more and more that I did that and took action, 342 00:21:24.400 --> 00:21:27.319 the more and more that I built confidence and I 343 00:21:27.400 --> 00:21:31.160 believed in myself and found that love for myself that 344 00:21:31.200 --> 00:21:35.839 I never had. So I want to I want to 345 00:21:35.920 --> 00:21:40.039 jump into your book begin before you feel ready, which 346 00:21:40.039 --> 00:21:41.160 is what we're talking about. 347 00:21:41.200 --> 00:21:44.440 I love it well, you know, and I do want 348 00:21:44.440 --> 00:21:46.519 to just say I love what you just said because 349 00:21:46.880 --> 00:21:49.880 what you're saying to me is that confidence you know, 350 00:21:49.960 --> 00:21:54.039 and how you do it actually doesn't come before you begin. 351 00:21:55.240 --> 00:21:58.119 It grows because you began. 352 00:21:58.759 --> 00:21:58.880 One. 353 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:06.240 Yeah, and I don't watching this and like, well it's 354 00:22:06.279 --> 00:22:13.599 easy for you guys hard that's so hard when it's 355 00:22:13.599 --> 00:22:16.000 getting used to the hard. And like I said, I 356 00:22:16.039 --> 00:22:18.799 love you know, tricking myself and taking that one. 357 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:23.440 Step in that one choice, Like you have to be uncomfortable. 358 00:22:23.640 --> 00:22:27.640 It's going to be uncomfortable. Create change is uncomfortable. But 359 00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:30.480 like you're saying, I mean, I say, stay in the moment, 360 00:22:30.559 --> 00:22:33.759 stay in the day, take one one step forward each 361 00:22:33.880 --> 00:22:38.920 day which creates the change. Yeah mm hm, So you 362 00:22:39.000 --> 00:22:41.720 got to you got to take the action for anything 363 00:22:41.759 --> 00:22:45.960 to change. And then like it's so hard, Uh, it's 364 00:22:45.960 --> 00:22:48.960 hard to start, but that's where you have to do. 365 00:22:49.160 --> 00:22:52.799 You have to start, yeah, and take those little steps 366 00:22:52.799 --> 00:22:56.359 whatever that little step is for you. And you know 367 00:22:56.599 --> 00:22:59.119 you asked me, you know, like why did you know? 368 00:22:59.200 --> 00:23:00.880 I wrote a couple of books like why did I 369 00:23:00.920 --> 00:23:03.559 even you know, like why did you why did you 370 00:23:03.640 --> 00:23:09.279 do that? Well, because I became fascinated Marcy, like with 371 00:23:10.839 --> 00:23:14.839 one question, and that question was what actually creates like 372 00:23:15.160 --> 00:23:16.160 lasting change? 373 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:22.440 M hm. And what did you get from that? Well? 374 00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:25.440 Your answer, I'd love to say, like I really try 375 00:23:25.480 --> 00:23:28.160 not to have an answer because once I decide something, 376 00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:31.960 then that's all it can ever be. I'm always like, 377 00:23:32.000 --> 00:23:33.880 if you notice I said a few times like my 378 00:23:34.000 --> 00:23:36.720 new thing is like I would love to discover this. 379 00:23:36.920 --> 00:23:40.799 I'd love to discover me. I'd love like I'm still 380 00:23:40.799 --> 00:23:46.119 discovering my books. Yeah, yeah, like you know, and I 381 00:23:46.160 --> 00:23:48.599 know that maybe sounds silly, but I actually, you know, 382 00:23:48.759 --> 00:23:53.279 those books came from like my experiences, and you know, 383 00:23:54.359 --> 00:23:55.960 you are like, why did you write your book? 384 00:23:56.480 --> 00:23:59.720 Same thing experience, my lived experience, And I just want 385 00:23:59.720 --> 00:24:03.400 to I want to help others to do to do 386 00:24:03.519 --> 00:24:07.240 the same, Like let me share what I have learned 387 00:24:07.279 --> 00:24:09.920 over these past almost eleven years with you. 388 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:13.240 Yeah, and like what worked for you? And then you 389 00:24:13.319 --> 00:24:16.880 become an inspiration because then you're like, wow, Marcy, did that? 390 00:24:17.519 --> 00:24:20.839 You know that's like like I can do that or 391 00:24:20.880 --> 00:24:22.799 like maybe if I tweet that a little bit more, 392 00:24:22.920 --> 00:24:25.039 or you know, do this or do that. Now that 393 00:24:25.079 --> 00:24:27.759 you have the inspiration, you do what works for you. 394 00:24:28.519 --> 00:24:32.839 And what I was really interested in is you know, 395 00:24:32.960 --> 00:24:41.240 not really motivation, not really inspiration. I want real change. Yeah, 396 00:24:41.519 --> 00:24:46.000 and I knew it was possible, yeah, like you know, Marcie, 397 00:24:46.079 --> 00:24:47.440 like I knew it was from the beginning. 398 00:24:47.480 --> 00:24:48.559 You know it was possible. 399 00:24:49.240 --> 00:24:53.839 Well I know what now you know? And so it's 400 00:24:53.880 --> 00:24:56.440 like you have to begin then to get that inspiration. 401 00:24:56.960 --> 00:24:59.680