Speaker 1: In the year twenty seven fourteen, a new squad of
Opera Davis was chosen by the College of Illusion. These
fools promptly went on to frustrate their DM at every opportunity. Today,
still working together because really who else would work with them?
They survive as adventurers of fortune. If you have a problem,
if no one else can help, and if you can
find them, maybe you can hire the Second Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2: Tony Kinney as Eddie.
Speaker 3: Falzoni, Jess Owen as a deer a Glow, Michael Cole
as Urag and.
Speaker 4: Jesse Wicks as Bill Crilliance.
Speaker 3: Nico Rodriguez as your DM.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the continuing tales of a Fool's Quest.
Speaker 3: So when last three left our heroes, you went up
this mountain, met these giants and found Baron Jan Kitchausen,
who might be able to fix your ailments. I hope so.
So Bill's eyes are still Cyclopian in nature. He's got
your cool glasses.
Speaker 5: You don't, honestly the eyes, but get rid of the
shitting myself would be good.
Speaker 3: You only get to fix one thing.
Speaker 6: Just honestly, just stick a cork in there. We'll be
good to go.
Speaker 3: Did you ever get the hat off? Did you got
the hat off?
Speaker 6: Right?
Speaker 3: And he got it off finally, Yeah, yeah, he nailed it.
Speaker 5: He finally attempted to get it off with magic instead
of prayer.
Speaker 3: He forgot he wasn't a cleric. And so you've got
Adira's bent legs that go backwards, I.
Speaker 7: Can jump super high.
Speaker 3: And red meat curtain and so yeah, so I'm a wallrag, wallrag.
Speaker 4: I'm a wallrag with wings.
Speaker 3: O us.
Speaker 4: Not the good kind of wings either.
Speaker 3: Barren yon Kichausen comes out. He's an eccentric looking man, right,
so you know he's a hermit already. He's got uh,
you know, wild hair, big mustache on his face.
Speaker 7: Very where else would a mustache be, Well, in this world,
it could be anywhere.
Speaker 3: He's got two mustaches. Good luck fight the second one.
Nobody wants to look and you Yeah, so he's in
got this little rickety cabin that he lives up there
in and and he's got some you know, like jerky
hanging up there like on you know, drying in the sun.
They just grab the piece off and he starts chewing
on it. He's like, hello, what can I do for you?
Speaker 8: You must be bearingausing I am welcome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, listen, we hear you're.
Speaker 8: Pretty good with helping people out who've had some sort
of debilitating curse or such.
Speaker 2: Well of my friends here, m.
Speaker 3: You don't come that way, No, no, what can you.
Speaker 4: Do with this? I'll just flap the wings at it.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't imagine I could do a lot of
things with it, maybe even make some jerky.
Speaker 2: Could you as.
Speaker 4: Shave the air?
Speaker 3: Is that a mole?
Speaker 2: I think the whole thing's a mole, moleskin, it's not
a mold.
Speaker 6: To tick what it's biting me?
Speaker 3: Well, I do believe I can help you. Please follow
me into my humble abode.
Speaker 2: Flap my way.
Speaker 7: That way everybody doing with the chem X stuff that's
still in our systems, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what he's trying to cure. I think, Yeah,
come on, come on. And so he goes into the
house and it is just a little one bedroom rickety shack,
so like you all have to squeeze in there. There
is not a lot of room.
Speaker 7: Wait outside, okay, some room.
Speaker 4: Through the window. Just let me know when it's my turn.
Speaker 3: Percy waits outside as well. Oh, why I'll white out sullied?
Speaker 7: Good man Percy.
Speaker 4: Hopefully it doesn't take too long.
Speaker 3: Percy, thank you and h The baron says, please please
have a seat on my bed.
Speaker 2: Oh then except for Bill, mister poopy pants.
Speaker 7: I should wait outside too.
Speaker 6: I get to literally shit the bed.
Speaker 7: One out of time.
Speaker 3: Let's see what's wrong with you? Who would like to
go first with doctor Baron?
Speaker 8: Well, doctor Baron, I'm actually fine. It's just my friends here.
Speaker 3: So are you though? And he puts his hands under
your your chin and starts feeling for your tonsils. Oh
it's swollen.
Speaker 2: Nah, I just got a thick neck.
Speaker 3: He puts his head against your chest. Hmmm. Are you
a smoker?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can hear it. Would you like me to
fix that for you?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna belch.
Speaker 3: While he's got his ear on your chest.
Speaker 4: It's a bit of a drink or too.
Speaker 3: I've got stuff can pull the tar right out of
your lungs.
Speaker 7: Crows. I want to see that?
Speaker 2: Wait? What? Maybe later?
Speaker 3: Okay? All right, then? Who wants to go first?
Speaker 2: Bill?
Speaker 6: Okay, it seems wise.
Speaker 3: Come here, and he passes his lap.
Speaker 6: I'm going to sit.
Speaker 7: He doesn't a little squish.
Speaker 3: Actually, he slides off what seems to be ailing.
Speaker 7: You nothing, nothing at.
Speaker 6: All, dysentery. I think, hmmm.
Speaker 3: You need me to fix your tummy problems kind of
m Okay, come with me. He stands back up and
pushes you off his lap on the round and then
he goes over to this little desk that he has
and he pulls out this little jar and he says,
I call these dumbs.
Speaker 6: The name could use work? Are they going to fix it?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 6: Yes, could I have one?
Speaker 3: Yes, you absolutely can. And so he opens up the
jar and he pours these little bugs all over you.
They're termites. Why they can crawl into your mouth. See
they're going now and in through your skin, and then
they go into your stomach and then they you know,
calm the acids down. I don't what this is going
to hurt.
Speaker 6: I don't want these on me.
Speaker 3: Oh they start, they start going to town.
Speaker 4: They might want to hold him down, chomping through.
Speaker 3: But they're chomping like through your arm, and some are
crawling on your neck. I'm gonna start brushing, like clinging
to your fingers, And yeah, it does hurt, like it's
a little a little like a like tattoo needles getting
jammed into your body as they crawl through, and you know,
there's a little trickles of blood here and there, but
nothing too wild. As these little termites start going into
your enterns and uh, he's like, all right, you should
be feeling better.
Speaker 5: And how an hour, just so you're aware. If this
doesn't work, I'd probably murder you.
Speaker 3: That's fine. In an hour, hopefully you won't be here.
Speaker 6: That seems ominous.
Speaker 8: The termites are just gonna crawl back out.
Speaker 3: Oh, they come out.
Speaker 7: Naturally, they take the Hershey highway.
Speaker 6: Everything comes out naturally, right now?
Speaker 3: No, naturally? Okay, he doesn't sits back down here pass
his knees. Who's next?
Speaker 7: Do I have to sit on your lap? I don't
think my knees will let me.
Speaker 3: Oh that's a good point.
Speaker 7: Yeah, perfect, thanks Bill.
Speaker 3: You can lay your head here.
Speaker 7: No, no, I will not. No what else you got?
Speaker 8: What hell is that Danny Danny McBride movie with the
Purve Wizard.
Speaker 6: Oh it's not year one, is it?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: No, your highness.
Speaker 7: Yeah. When James Franco I was like, I know what
you're talking about.
Speaker 3: It looks like we've had a mishap with your legs. Yeah.
Speaker 7: I can jump really high, but I don't like that
they're are bent backwards.
Speaker 3: You can't jump really high in here. The ceiling is
only about six and a half feet.
Speaker 7: Well, I can jump really high. How sturdy is your roof?
Speaker 3: Not great?
Speaker 7: Great in dmistry.
Speaker 3: Definitely puts a hole in the roof. Man, I was
needing a sunroof, moonroof, moonlight sun.
Speaker 7: They put it in where you needed it. Thanks, You're welcome.
Speaker 3: Now, if only I had glass.
Speaker 7: Super helpful. Just use some onion paper. That's what everybody
does for windows.
Speaker 3: Right, Yes, I think I don't know I have You
will know, all right, so fix me all right. Well
we're gonna lay you down, and I've got these contraptions
right here. Well you pulled them out from under my bed.
He pulls them out, and there's these giant metal wings.
It looks like some out of a Saw movie.
Speaker 2: Right, just horrible.
Speaker 3: He's like a good friend of mine had broken legs,
much like you. His name was Forest. I fixed him
right up with these. But you're going to have to
wear these for a while, and you're not going to
be able to run.
Speaker 7: Okay, how long is a while?
Speaker 3: At least a month? Maybe six weeks?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 7: Anyway to expedite the process. I'm sure, I don't believe you.
Speaker 3: Now, if you're lay down, I'm just going to start connecting.
Yeahs attached right here? Oh do you feel that that's
right on the ankle there, that's a little low right
across the knee. Oh, he's really off and weird. Yeah,
all right, Now, would anyone like to activate them? Or
would you like me to do it?
Speaker 2: Why don't you do it?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 7: Should I stand up?
Speaker 3: Just as you say that, he pushes two buttons, one
on the left leg, one of the right leg, and
they just snapped your legs. It's just just break them.
Oh my, it really did work.
Speaker 2: It did Oh sure?
Speaker 3: I think so?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 7: Well, ow, I'm sure. Is there a constitutional or anything?
I'm like crying over here. He did hit me. So
I am on fire.
Speaker 4: Right the tiny little room to be bursted into flames?
Speaker 3: How long did your ice sting last? You couldn't go on,
you couldn't turn into fire?
Speaker 7: Oh I don't know.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's right.
Speaker 7: That was that the I don't know. I don't have
any notes on it.
Speaker 6: I have been blessed.
Speaker 7: I wondered what that meant when it said I iced
one of the guys that we were firing. Yeah, I
don't know, was there.
Speaker 2: How did you get the ice? I don't remember.
Speaker 3: How did you get the ice? I can't remember either.
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 3: It was the same at the same time that Bill
started shitting himself, right.
Speaker 6: No, yeah, I thought the ice happened.
Speaker 3: Was it is that because they failed the apple? Check
the apple?
Speaker 6: I happened with something like that? Didn't the apple or
one of the magic events or something.
Speaker 7: I'm trying to find it and I'm not seeing it.
Speaker 3: You definitely couldn't use fire anymore.
Speaker 2: I remember. Yeah, you froze one of the boars.
Speaker 3: Mm hm.
Speaker 2: When did we fight before the boards? What was the
last fight before those?
Speaker 6: To go back like Jojo?
Speaker 7: Yeah, that'd be the chem X thing, wouldn't.
Speaker 2: I it was from his apprentice that fucked him up.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, when the apprentice tried to cure Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: You went to see uh Cherry Cherry, yeah Cherry, yep.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it doesn't say. I don't have notes anywhere about
when exactly I had the ice power.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Cherry did that, So if you want, he can
try and fix that for you too. Cherry told you
he could.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'd rather have my fire power back.
Speaker 3: Right now, though you're having a hard time talking, Yeah,
like screaming and pay.
Speaker 8: Baron, doctor Baron. Yes, your apprentice, Cherry. Oh, yes, yeah.
Speaker 2: We'd gone to see.
Speaker 8: Cherry first before we came here, and Cherry gave my
friend Dearrah some sort of draft that well she's she's
fired Genassi, but well yeah she's.
Speaker 7: A little icy right now, little icy right now.
Speaker 2: It is so blue. Yeah, it's whatever Cherry gave her.
Do you think you could fix that too? Or yes?
Speaker 3: Do you know what Cherry gave her?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 8: Oh, Cherry said that you'd fix it.
Speaker 3: Okay, do you have a stool sample.
Speaker 7: From Bill Bill's?
Speaker 2: Did Bill have that?
Speaker 7: Did I ship myself when I broke my legs? I mean,
I'm okay to.
Speaker 2: But did you try from Cherry?
Speaker 6: I did not.
Speaker 5: Wait, I didn't try a care from Cherry because I
saw what happened to you. Yeah, and we're like, nope,
we're good. I said, I'll just get glasses. It's fine. Actually,
wasn't even trying to get cured until I started shooting myself.
Speaker 6: Now, otherwise this was just an upgrade.
Speaker 3: You did get glasses, right, he gave me the glasses.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, no, that wasn't cherry, that was that was whistley,
old man.
Speaker 2: Huh.
Speaker 3: He went to the shop owner.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that.
Speaker 3: Quit wiggling around, young lady. Let me see your tongue.
Grabs your tongue and he's like, oh, yeah, see, here's
the problem. It's blue.
Speaker 2: That is probably the problem. You're probably right.
Speaker 3: Well, we need to get her red lollipop.
Speaker 7: Okay, where are they? Ow ow ow ow.
Speaker 3: One moment please, starts digging under his bed again like
this isn't red. A few minutes later, he pops back
up with a red lollipop in his list, Young lady,
because you've been so well behaved, here's a lolly.
Speaker 2: There's no wrappers hair stuck to it, but it is.
Speaker 6: That's bunnies.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that'll fix the fire. Oh yes, excellent, there
you going here?
Speaker 7: Just okay, m crunch, crunch, crunch, eat it as fast
as possible.
Speaker 2: That was only three licks.
Speaker 3: I was wondering how long it would take to get
to the center.
Speaker 6: Of that lolly.
Speaker 7: That's very long. Am I fixed? Am I on fire?
Speaker 3: Now you do start to feel your body warm back up,
and your tongue does turn red, and you do get
your firepowers back?
Speaker 7: Am I on fire?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 3: That's like you know I would I would probably go
ahead and make that constitution. Say, let's see, let's see
how well you deal with the pain. Or let's see
if you torch his house.
Speaker 4: It's already put a hole in the room.
Speaker 6: I'm burying specifically, like.
Speaker 3: Probably uh nine, A nine, all right, so I will say,
oh man, yeah, no, I think I think with a
nine you're going to catch on fire. But you have
it under control enough that you're not burning anything. Just
like burn his pillow and yeah, his betting. It's a
good thing. My blankets are flame retardants.
Speaker 2: Good thing on your lap.
Speaker 6: It's unfortunate that they're not ship retardant.
Speaker 3: I blankets.
Speaker 8: All right, rag, I'm gonna I'm gonna trade you spot
so you can come in you okay, treat it. Go
ahead and sit on this man's lap.
Speaker 7: Don't do that. I wouldn't recommend it.
Speaker 4: I'll flap over there, all right.
Speaker 7: Can like soothe my pain levels? Do you have him tiling?
Speaker 3: All You're not gonna like this, but I can save you.
It's going to take six months. What I'm afraid you're
going to have to stay here and live with me.
Speaker 4: Oh uh, what's option be?
Speaker 3: Well, I guess you could just take it with you
and then you wouldn't have to stay here. I guess
that's probably take what probably what.
Speaker 2: We'll have to do?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 2: What am I taking?
Speaker 3: Well, I've got this chastity belt for you.
Speaker 8: Wait what you may have misunderstood the problem. See that
flesh cape, that's not he didn't used to have that.
That's the that's the that's the poison.
Speaker 3: Oh I see Oh I thought it was just because
he had weird, weird relationship with the earth around us.
Speaker 2: Well he does have that too, but yeah, that's not
my problem. Now. See all three of them they got
sprayed with some kind of magical goop.
Speaker 3: Well I beg to differ. I do think it's a problem.
Speaker 8: Magical goop x okay, And so I shouldn't have these
skinfold wings. Now he floats that he has that giant
skin tag. Ah, and that's what we'd like to get
rid of, floating in the giant skin tag.
Speaker 4: Please thank you.
Speaker 3: The best way to get rid of a skin tag
is to freeze it off.
Speaker 2: Damn it.
Speaker 3: I don't have any ice cubes here.
Speaker 8: Uh.
Speaker 3: I guess the next best thing is to burn it off.
Speaker 7: Well, lucky, lucky.
Speaker 6: I tried not I can help.
Speaker 3: It's okay, this will be painless for us. Okay, okay,
well just grab a stick and hope in my mouth.
So here's the thing that we're going to have to
pay attention to. I've got this choker that I'm going
to put around your neck as well, because we all
know one thing about skin tags. You burn it off
and they just come him back.
Speaker 2: Wait to do.
Speaker 3: Trust me, I'm na. I don't know.
Speaker 7: How am I supposed to know?
Speaker 2: Doct Your bedside manner is amazing.
Speaker 3: Well, I mean she's on my bed, so I can't
have my bed on my bed manner.
Speaker 2: It's different, I suppose.
Speaker 3: So yes, I'd be a whole different doctor if I
was on my bed and not her.
Speaker 2: I guess that's true.
Speaker 3: All right, Probably come here, son, let's get to chopping.
He pulls out there's a really big scalpel out from
under his bed and he's like puts in some alcohol
dips in there and sinking. Huh here we are. Oh,
yes it is, ma'am. If you don't mind, I'm just
gonna heat this up on you. You're looking a little angry,
and he heats it up and he just slices right
through the back of the all right, across the back
of your neck to get the the cape come off.
Speaker 8: This is gross's and the steam coming out of a
deer's ears.
Speaker 3: And he gets it all done, and then he wraps
this choker around your neck and then he's like, hmm,
that should solve the problem with you bouncing around and
not being able to walk, the anti gravity issues. But
you really ought to do something about your fascination with
the earth around you and animals.
Speaker 8: Yeah, we're working on that. That's more of a long
term project. It was the bouncing in that.
Speaker 2: Walk and that we are worried about. But thank you
for your help in that matter.
Speaker 3: Our heroes will return after these messages. Hey there, it's
Nako again. If you'd like to skip the ads next time,
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fools quest dot com. And now that the commercials are
out of the way, it's time to dive back into
the foolishness.
Speaker 7: So what's this said?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 7: I can't walk, I can't run?
Speaker 2: Thank you? All right? You feel heavy again?
Speaker 4: I feel normal?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: You feel normal?
Speaker 4: Yeah, aside from searing pain. Yeah, and just having to
wear this joker.
Speaker 8: Uh huh and a dear, I can't run for six weeks.
You said, what if she got like magical healing before
then would she be okay to run just right away?
Speaker 2: Then? Oh?
Speaker 3: Maybe with some magical cool I'm not a magical healer.
Speaker 2: That would be a yeah, that'd be a voker.
Speaker 3: Lady, do you want to stand up and walk around
with your new leg jingles?
Speaker 7: Is it good? I mean, like can I you literally
just snapped them back?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yes, you should be able to walk around. Quit being
a baby.
Speaker 2: All right.
Speaker 3: If Gump could do it, you can do it, all right?
Speaker 7: Well, I snap back to reality.
Speaker 3: Hope, gravity, yep, my legs work.
Speaker 7: They hit the ground and I'm standing normally, I hope.
Speaker 3: And they literally are the forest of Gump leg braces.
You gotta walk with now you got magic?
Speaker 7: Oh my god? Can we oil these down? Does he
have any oil?
Speaker 2: Gray Hawk wanted us all to be the same. You're
giving us all braces on our legs.
Speaker 3: I don't have any more oil, but I do have
this jar here. It should work just as well. Here
you can take it with you. I've been saving it
a jar.
Speaker 7: What's the jar gonna do it?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 3: Look he opened hope, he opens it up and shows
you it's just full of ear wax.
Speaker 4: She reason. I thought it was gonna be mayonnaise.
Speaker 7: Do we have anything better to lubricate these fucking squeaky
we can?
Speaker 2: You know what? I think?
Speaker 8: We left some actual like oil outside so you can
hold onto your ear wax jar for the next patient,
just in case.
Speaker 7: And don't want to take that from somebody who.
Speaker 2: For the leg braces outside in the in the wagon.
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you though, now in payment for my services rendered?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yes, I'm.
Speaker 3: Going to need you to do something I've been trying
to do for years. Oh, make princess help and Stein
fall in love with me?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 4: Is that all?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: How have you been trying?
Speaker 3: Oh? I wrote her a letter a few decades back,
that's all.
Speaker 7: Have you not heard from her?
Speaker 3: No? In fact, a role to see if you know
about her?
Speaker 2: I know about her, do you? Yeah? It's like a fourteen.
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, yeah, she's dead. She was one of the
one of the people in the royal families of the
Enchantment Nation.
Speaker 8: Listen, doctor Baron, Yes, Princess help helping stein.
Speaker 2: H Yeah.
Speaker 8: The evokers invaded the Enchantment Nation, and they they slew
the royal family. She didn't serve.
Speaker 3: Oh okay, I have another idea. What's that I need socks?
Speaker 2: I've all got the one one, I mean the other one.
Speaker 3: No, not your sock. This is the fancy socks from
a high wizard.
Speaker 2: Why do you need the socks of a high.
Speaker 3: Wizard because he stole them from me?
Speaker 2: Oh you need your own socks? Bag?
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I mean I stole them from someone else first.
Speaker 2: But you know which which high wizards stole your socks?
Speaker 3: He was an evoker. I'm pretty sure he lived on
his own, much like I do.
Speaker 2: His name's not Magnus, is it?
Speaker 3: I'll be it is.
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 4: And so begins the quest where Magnus open socks?
Speaker 2: We shall.
Speaker 8: Time to acquire those socks forthwith. That would be splendid, Yes,
if we if we, if we get them, we'll bring
them back here to you or you know there there's
a war.
Speaker 2: Going on, is there.
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah, yeah, those amokers. Oh, they invaded the Abduration Nation.
Speaker 3: That's where we are. Yes, it is fancy that.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 8: Uh, we have a bit of a safe haven. It's
just over the border into the Illusion Nation. It's a
town called New City. If you like, you're welcome to
join us. We could take you there.
Speaker 3: Oh no, no.
Speaker 2: Are you sure? There's I mean, a man of your
medical expertise, and there's also medical supplies there.
Speaker 3: Last time I went into town, someone took my tooth.
Your tooth, yeah, this one, and he shows you his mouth.
You're wisdom missing a tooth.
Speaker 2: Pointing that a tooth that's actually there, like this one.
Speaker 3: They took it took me months to regrow it.
Speaker 8: Well, uh, but it wasn't It wasn't this town.
Speaker 3: How how do you know it wasn't this town because
it's a new city. Oh, it is a new city.
Speaker 7: And it took you months to regrow that.
Speaker 2: So the city's only been there for a couple of months.
Speaker 3: Huh wa, gotcha.
Speaker 2: But if you'd prefer to stay here with the guys,
that's understandable too.
Speaker 3: Those guys, I could go to New City. Are there
any people there that have nice socks? Most assuredly, I
don't have any, and he shows you his feet.
Speaker 2: You are barefoot.
Speaker 8: There is a high illusionist there give you socks that
look like anything you want. Really, yeah, it's an illusionist
what they do.
Speaker 3: But that those would be real socks, then would they.
Speaker 2: Be real socks? They just look like something up to
look like better socks.
Speaker 3: That is genius, right? Could I have socks with illusions
of my missing tooth on it?
Speaker 7: Yep?
Speaker 2: I think you could.
Speaker 3: Hmm.
Speaker 2: I don't know why you would, but I think you could. Well.
Speaker 3: Do you have travel plans to get off the mountain?
Speaker 2: Uh? Just kind of back the way we came?
Speaker 3: Oh, I see you? Okay, well which way is? It's
a new city. I'll travel on my own.
Speaker 8: Oh well, I'll give them directions. I'll pull up the
map and show them about where it's at. Okay, just
be careful. You know there's e vocres Oh yes, about.
Speaker 1: There.
Speaker 8: You let them know that the second Breakfast Club Sanya
will do high illusionist kibbi.
Speaker 2: Is that who's in charge there? Yep?
Speaker 8: You talk to the high illusionist kiby. You let them
know the second Breakfast Club Sanya and that ye're to
be given.
Speaker 2: Uh. You know asylum or whatever.
Speaker 3: Fancy that? Well, I guess and socks.
Speaker 2: Yes, when do you.
Speaker 3: Think I could have my magic socks?
Speaker 2: I we've got to track down that Magnus Deablin.
Speaker 7: Well can't run, so it's gonna be at least six weeks.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it'll take us a while before a dear I
can run, and we got to track down Magnus Deablin.
So I really can't say, but we are on it.
Speaker 3: Okay, Well, I guess I should pack my things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably a good idea.
Speaker 3: He reaches down and grabs a hat and puts a
few things in the hat. He's like, all right, I'm.
Speaker 2: Ready, all right, Well, you know the way.
Speaker 3: I've got to say goodbye to my friends though. Yeah.
He steps back outside, nods to Percy and excuse me, sir,
I'm gonna need you to move so I can say
goodbye to my friend. And he's got one of those
flamingos and stabbed into his ground. He gets down on
his knees. I'm gonna miss you. Take care of the
house while I'm gone. Make sure that no one breaks in,
and you know where the secret items are. Keep them secret,
keep them safe.
Speaker 2: Make sure no one breaks in through the new skylight.
Speaker 5: After after he leaves, I'm gonna need ouhrag to ask
the flamingo where those are.
Speaker 3: Let's rob him.
Speaker 8: Well you'd better you better head out there, h Doctor Baron, Okay, down,
Kai Chausen.
Speaker 3: All right, I'll see you later.
Speaker 2: Yes, we'll see you in new city.
Speaker 3: So he starts walking down to the giants and and
yeah you can. You can see him as he gets
closer to the giants, like they welcome him, and they're
like oh and he he goes and starts chatting with them.
What you guys gonna do?
Speaker 2: Alright, I guess Flamingo.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm just gonna kind of wander around and pain.
Speaker 3: So it's like just a lawn ornament. Yeah, but you
can definitely ask it.
Speaker 8: So mean, while I'm gonna I'm gonna go prepare some spells,
I think I should have a little time here.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go back inside and prepare some.
Speaker 3: Spell So, so you asked the lawn ornament.
Speaker 6: And you just throw away joke to to turn into
good stuff for us.
Speaker 4: I'll use my thing talker ability. It's so uh, little
pink bird. Oh what was he talking about?
Speaker 3: He was telling me about that hidden stuff that's inside?
Speaker 4: Yeah, where is it?
Speaker 3: It's an of the floorboards.
Speaker 4: Can we have it?
Speaker 3: You can dry or the shot it'll bite in it.
Speaker 4: I appreciate it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I got a problem, Hey man, can you move
me around? I've been staring at this wall.
Speaker 4: For like, Oh, for sure, Satan, where do you want
to look like?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 3: Decide a mountain?
Speaker 2: For sure? Give me a view. You're not.
Speaker 4: Pluck him up and move him a yard?
Speaker 3: Yeah? How's that much better?
Speaker 2: Much better? There you go.
Speaker 3: He's gonna think I moved When he gets back, he's
gonna think I moved him out.
Speaker 7: Great joke.
Speaker 3: You did this to me?
Speaker 4: Well, thank you, have a good day.
Speaker 2: Yeah you too.
Speaker 4: Under the floorboards, guys, he said something about it biting.
Oh hello, that rather nice, fellow.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll let you guys handle that. I'm studying my spell,
all right, build your up.
Speaker 7: Not fighting anything, you're just looking under the floorboards.
Speaker 5: You're gonna go first anywhere. I think somebody checked the
bathroom before I go in.
Speaker 7: H We need to heal up from that last encounter, though,
don't we.
Speaker 6: They go try and pour pry up the floorboards.
Speaker 3: No, yeah, I mean they're not like nailed down or anything.
You literally just lift the board up.
Speaker 6: This is a terrible construction.
Speaker 3: And he find just some like boxes of just random
stuff under the floorboards, like some chunk and stuff. But
you do find one very nice inlaid box that's there
that you probably assumed to be the item in question.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna pull it up, all right.
Speaker 3: You pull it up and open the box. I assume
I do, okay, And inside the box there is a
cylinder thing. It's about the size of a hot dog,
and on each end there is the stone or not so,
a metal dragonhead on each side with its mouth wide open,
gaping wide open, and it looks like you can put
your fingers in it.
Speaker 6: Ha ha, I'm gonna look through the mouths first.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can see right through all the way through.
Speaker 6: I'm gonna stick my fingers in.
Speaker 2: It was at this moment that he knew he fucked up.
Speaker 6: I know I shouldn't, but I'm going.
Speaker 2: To chrissy, how are you feeling about the stone?
Speaker 3: All right, So you put your fingers into this Chinese
finger trap, and you immediately as all all of the
material stuff around you completely fades out of existence, and
you can see every living creature around you through walls
through you know, like you look through the ground, you
can see grubs and slugs and stuff moving around. Yeah,
you have a full visual heat sense kind of you know,
it's not actually sensing the heat, but you get that
red you know, appearance of any kind of life forms
that are all around you. Not only that, it would
depending on how you roll, So you get that innately.
How you roll with this, you might be able to
walk through physical items. Actually may put you into the
ethereal realm to pass through objects, but you have to
make a roll for that, which would be obviously.
Speaker 6: Yeah, what's the what's the modifier for the role?
Speaker 3: It's going to be your wisdom. On a ten plus,
you successfully walk through like wall or whatever. On a
seven to nine, you successfully walk through the wall, but
you lose one D four items out of your inventory.
They PLoP to the ground. They don't go through the
wall with you, they just fall off. And then on
a six and under, obviously something fun happens. I all right, yeah,
so you can just walk through the wall. At this point.
Speaker 5: After doing so, I'm gonna take my fingers out. Nope, nope,
just see wife forever though.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So the rest of you can still see him,
and you can see the finger trap, and there is
a switch on it, but you can't reach it with
when why your hands are engaged. You need somebody else
to unlock it for it. So it's not a cursed item,
but you're also unable to do it.
Speaker 8: They'll hold still, We'll hold hold that up. Hold hold still,
stop waving it around. Would you just hold still? Just
hold still.
Speaker 3: I can't hold still. I'm holding this.
Speaker 2: Hold that's still. It's got a switch. I'm gonna flip
the switch.
Speaker 4: You all me to hold him still.
Speaker 3: You don't touch me.
Speaker 2: You flip the switch and then say, yeah, hold him still,
all right.
Speaker 3: So you flip the switch and the finger trap comes off.
Speaker 6: Hold up, like, put this on. It's like you're a mushrooms.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, hell yes, do the same thing all right,
now that you know it's not cursed. Yeah, so you
put put the finger trap on, and same thing. I'll
you know. The world turns to like a gray, grainy
color except for all of the life forms around you,
which have these signatures life forced signatures that you can see.
Speaker 2: Wow, flip the switch, get that predator vision on the switch.
I gotta ch.
Speaker 6: I'll flip the switch.
Speaker 3: Oh wait, you gotta roll first before you take that off.
Speaker 2: It's wisdom yep. Four.
Speaker 3: Remember how the flamingo says sometimes it might bite you.
So you go to take it off, and the thing
clamps down on your hands and bites both of your hands,
turning into a larger gauntlet type dragon's mouth where it
grabs onto both hands and it starts chomping up and
down your arm and it does one D six damage.
Speaker 2: Team.
Speaker 6: But what did you do?
Speaker 8: That's the wrong switch, that damage.
Speaker 5: Wrong button, wrong switch, the switch, guy, it's not the
wrong switch.
Speaker 3: You did it wrong. You flip the switch back and
the heads start to shrink, but it makes a gagging,
throwing up noise as as it comes off your arms.
Speaker 6: Didn't know where your hands had been.
Speaker 2: They're all slimy now I assume right.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for sure, okay.
Speaker 2: And use your rain hat to wash my hands anymore?
Speaker 3: Came the rain to wash the rain hat?
Speaker 2: Your rain hat?
Speaker 5: Oh that's true, thank god, you can.
Speaker 6: I assume we brought it with us then after we
got it off my head.
Speaker 2: You probably did.
Speaker 3: They did not. In fact, they left it on Professor
Plutonium's desk as a surprise.
Speaker 6: Go ahead, put it on now, all right, put it
on the flamingo. Why would we do that? We nothing, But.
Speaker 3: It's inanimate. It wouldn't impact because you can talk to it.
Speaker 8: All right, So we got to get this infinite scroll
back to what back to the New City is at
the planet.
Speaker 3: That was kind of what you guys alluded to going
back yep.
Speaker 2: H.
Speaker 6: So the termites fix me.
Speaker 3: Uh, they're still working. It was gonna be an hour.
I'm gonna you can feel them mess up with your
tummy once they get my spells prepared. I'm gonna cast
cure wounds on at the era.
Speaker 7: Okay, great idea, really still.
Speaker 3: Hurt ten ten? All right? So you cure wounds, which
does heal up her damage? However, adra you feel like
your legs are trying to bend back the way they
were and the item or the braces are keeping them
the right way, the correct way, So you feel like
if you took the braces off, they'd probably flop back
to backwards again. But your cured of damage.
Speaker 2: Ouch, Well, it's worth a shot, maybe a restoration.
Speaker 6: So back to New City then.
Speaker 3: I think I think so, Well, you guys don't have
your magic cart with you either.
Speaker 2: By the way left that.
Speaker 8: On the other side of the lake there, so we'll
stop there to pick the cart up. Yeah, so that's
the that's the that's the ticket around the lake, down
the mountain and around the lake to that town. Yet
that's the one.
Speaker 3: Yep, all right. So you guys start heading back down.
You go start going through the giants area, and as
you are seeing, you know, walking them, you can see
that there's this giant constructed like winged monstrosity. It's like
this giant glider looking thing, and on the back of
it there's like this little grip and a spot for
someone to hold onto it. And you see Baron holding
on to the handles, just sitting there, and he's like, oh, hello,
come here, I have something for you.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll go over.
Speaker 3: There, and he leans over and whispers into the ear.
If you go into the way of Hotesh, bring seven torches.
Speaker 2: I'll remember that. Okay.
Speaker 3: Why so you don't get stuck there forever.
Speaker 2: You need seven torches to not get stuck there forever.
Speaker 3: I don't need seven torches, you need seven torches.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, try to make sure we do that.
Speaker 3: Then I've got to go. Now, come on, thumper, and
he yells to one of the giants who comes over
and grabs the back of the airplane, lifts it up
into the air, and just tosses it off the mountain
like it's a paper airplane for a giant, and he
goes sewing.
Speaker 6: He's like.
Speaker 3: In the direction that you guys saw him to go
to our new city. And he had his hat on.
It was actually on now, but all the stuff was
in it. You could see like one and stuff. That's
very traveling.
Speaker 2: That's great, all right, Baron young kaichows it. Well, I
think we don't need to go in the way of Hotage,
do we think?
Speaker 4: No, We just kind of came across the lake as Walruses.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but we were Walruses because of the apples, which
we don't have anymore of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we can go around the way.
Speaker 3: Like yeah, So yeah, you don't have to. The way
of Hotash is not on the way to fig In
by any means. You don't know why he said that
to you.
Speaker 2: So let's head to Figgin. We're on the road to.
Speaker 3: All right, you guys head back down the mountain. Perilous journey, Well,
not perilous journey because you guys are doing all right,
but random magic event rolls D twenties.
Speaker 2: Twenty no Way Way twenty No.
Speaker 7: Twenty ten.
Speaker 3: Uh huh yep, oh shit five two five and two.
I should write that down. Cool, And you guys start
getting your stuff up, getting ready to go. What'd you get?
Bill twelve twelve? Okay, you're good. You guys get your
stuff up, ready to go. The giants bring you like
a really really large hot pocket to take with you,
like being kind and giving you a hot pocket for
your travels. And just as Zoo rags like you know,
getting back to getting back to feeling himself walk on
the ground right. Gravity is back to being your friend
instead of just floating everywhere. You no longer have to
be tied to Adira with the rope unless she still
wants you to be tied with but.
Speaker 2: You don't have.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Percy's over there, like getting you know, feeding the
horses some food before you guys go down and.
Speaker 2: Apple to give them, and all of a sudden.
Speaker 3: Disappears are.
Speaker 6: Put the bigger a thing on. You can see your
wife and.
Speaker 2: Okay, there you do it. Hand it back the bill.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do it all right, So you do it
all right. You see the world goes gray. You see
all these life forces around you. You find that while
around these giants, you can honestly like kind of pinpoint
who they are and like some of the you can
kind of get vibes from some of their from some
of their lights, and go ahead and make your role
real quick.
Speaker 6: Would rather not got a five five.
Speaker 3: All right, So you don't see, but it's hard to
tell if that's because he's no longer here, or if
it's because all of a sudden you have a searing
pain in both of your arms as the dragon's head
expand and grip down their teeth onto your forearms.
Speaker 2: Flicking the switch back and forth.
Speaker 3: You broke it two points of damage. You flick the
switch eddy and he goes and it comes off your
arms again. You broke it just where was also is
gone forever.
Speaker 2: I think, oh, that's not good.
Speaker 8: This is I think, yeah, I'm going to detect magic, okay, ten.
Speaker 3: Ten h There is magic. You do see magic. Yet
there there was some kind of summoning magic that pulled
him away.
Speaker 2: Summoning magic.
Speaker 3: He was summoned. Oh my, and here's probably a good
place to take a break.
Speaker 5: Oh, rags are familiar to some imp somewhere there's summoning
him to do.
Speaker 2: This.
Speaker 9: Concludes this episode of a fools Quest, and join us
next time for more fun and daring adventure. Thank you
for listening, and don't forget to like a subscribe, review,
and comment.
Speaker 1: On your favorite platform to listen to all fools Quest.
Speaker 7: Every time we say, we're like hibbs hobbies sounds like
high beams are okay?
Speaker 4: Anybody remember where we left off? I know we did
like a walrus saying and got away.
Speaker 6: I was just a dick head to a bunch of
people for no apples.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys ate the apples.
Speaker 6: There's Jesse. You're not Jesse? What the old man Hill Giant?
Speaker 7: I don't know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't do that.
Speaker 7: Get the good news.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we were on our way to see whoever to
fix our yeah deformities.
Speaker 7: Yeah yeah, we will is pooping everywhere?
Speaker 6: Right, I am pooping everywhere.
Speaker 3: I failed my constitution even though.
Speaker 7: We're with the hill giants.
Speaker 5: He's still Oh yeah, there's a hill giant. Did uh
huh after the boors?
Speaker 2: Uh huh? We didn't.
Speaker 6: And he led us to the guy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was our friend. He was your friend.
Speaker 4: Yeah, who's who's the guy again?
Speaker 6: He threated to step on me, So I don't know
if he was my friend.
Speaker 3: But the guy that you met, Yeah, the one that's
supposed to Baron Darren Barren kay chosen.
Speaker 5: I feel like every time we asked what somebody's name
was in this campaign, he tells us and then we're like, God,
damn it, that's right.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, yeah, put that racket in the fridge.
Speaker 6: The excuse me, it's a raquet.
Speaker 4: In the fridge.
Speaker 5: It may be, it may be irredeemably mad. When I
try to look up what kind of tennis racket to
buy frish bell I was just starting, I was like.
Speaker 6: What kind of tennis racket? That corrected it to the quill?
Fuck you, stupid ass rich people's sport.
Speaker 3: I heard somebody called an artificer a autificia today, a.
Speaker 4: Sort of a bit specializes in aluminium.
Speaker 6: That isn't the apotom of hyper bowl.
Speaker 3: All right, check check check chacked to tick tick tick.
Speaker 4: You're putting the wrong the money order, you're putting the
emphasis on the wrong salavalper bowl.
Speaker 6: Check the little Benchi jack jacks jack
Speaker 7: H