Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, well I rolled my eyes when you
Speaker 1: were talking. And he's like, yeah, don't do it when
Speaker 1: she's talking. And he's like, I'm not going to. I
Speaker 1: did it when you were talking. And it's like now
Speaker 1: he gets in his underwear.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: And then he closed that incredible fucking destruction of Zach
Speaker 3: by saying, I will bury that guy off this cliff.
Speaker 3: Hold on, let's look it.
Speaker 4: Okay, Hope, I come guy looking for Chelsea and he's
Speaker 4: falling in my bag?
Speaker 2: All right, will you try one of these plays you
Speaker 2: want to throw the whole bag?
Speaker 3: Is it a special mint?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: There are these things called uh, they're called fish Suman's Friend,
Speaker 1: and I just I saw I have a boy crush
Speaker 1: on Joe Kerry, you know Joe Carey from Stranger Things. Okay,
Speaker 1: and uh he stop.
Speaker 2: Pop it in?
Speaker 3: Is he one of the little boys?
Speaker 2: No, he's Oh your mic isn't on? Geez man.
Speaker 1: There are these menthol the super Mentholy Mint's Fisherman's Friend.
Speaker 3: They do they have.
Speaker 1: No No, they're like supernaturround holistic.
Speaker 2: I think pretty.
Speaker 5: Check one.
Speaker 3: Do you like do you like gum pap?
Speaker 2: Did you try it? You put it?
Speaker 5: I've been looking it.
Speaker 1: Well, you gotta put it, you gotta put it into.
Speaker 5: Really, I don't like mint. I don't like I don't
Speaker 5: like it. No, I don't like mint.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, no, no, no, no, no at all, no
Speaker 3: nowhere it lives, no meal or cocktail. You don't like
Speaker 3: the flavor anywhere except toot based.
Speaker 5: Reminds me of a candy cane, which then reminds me
Speaker 5: and triggers me about Christmas, and I hate a shoots
Speaker 5: some letters.
Speaker 3: Okay, sorry, deal, go ahead.
Speaker 2: Welcome to another brand spanking news.
Speaker 1: So you're not gonna eat the rest of his fisherman's friend.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna let it sit right there.
Speaker 2: Did you taste it?
Speaker 5: I tasted it. It tastes like mint.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, listen, he was He was brave to
Speaker 1: try it. Hi Loan, Welcome to another brand spanking episode
Speaker 1: of bad TV.
Speaker 2: I'm Dylan Pat.
Speaker 5: Great to be here, Ruby, Hi Joe, Hi Pat. How
Speaker 5: are you good to have Ruby back? It's not the
Speaker 5: same with that, I know.
Speaker 1: I feel like we haven't spoken to old poop bag
Speaker 1: in a while. Hey, what's been going on in the
Speaker 1: subway system? You've been stabbed at any point this week?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: But can I tell you something got on the car
Speaker 3: this morning. There's one homeless man. Everyone else seems completely empty.
Speaker 3: Me and a girl my age got on, looked at
Speaker 3: each other and I said, great, we're getting on together.
Speaker 3: She got off. Ah oh, I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: And then I had to get off, and then we
Speaker 3: both missed the fucking train. So not good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you need solidarity and times like that. Listen, we're
Speaker 1: here to talk about the valley. The valley is, you know,
Speaker 1: as dark as you know, kind of an outcast, phillthy
Speaker 1: fucking bum on a subway car, you know, ostracizing, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, just random people. You know, you think about
Speaker 1: the darkness, right, and who knows if this man is
Speaker 1: cognizant enough to recognize what a repellent he is. But
Speaker 1: you know, it's a little bit like in Child of God,
Speaker 1: there's a you know, a necrophiliac, mentally handicapped guy walking
Speaker 1: down a road and there's a dog chasing after him,
Speaker 1: and then he feels like he has you know, like
Speaker 1: some kind of friend chip with the dog, right, But
Speaker 1: then the dog leaves and he realizes that he's alone again.
Speaker 1: You know, it reminds me a little bit of that bump.
Speaker 1: You know, two girls get on the car and then
Speaker 1: they walk away, you know, and he's left going, Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, it's because.
Speaker 2: Of me, you know what I mean?
Speaker 5: Did you get high before you can?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, I'm actually not high at all.
Speaker 1: Think about how dark that is. This show's even darker
Speaker 1: than that. The Valley's the darkest thing Bravo's ever done.
Speaker 1: It's it's the darkest thing Bravo's ever done.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's pretty bad in a good way?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: Should we redo all that? Was that all too much?
Speaker 5: Ask Ruby?
Speaker 3: No? I do have a question, though, what is the
Speaker 3: Oscar Isaac's movie where there's a very said cat and
Speaker 3: it rains all the time.
Speaker 2: Inside the one?
Speaker 3: Davis, It's it's that dark? Is that it's also dark?
Speaker 3: And this show's darker than that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: No, this show is super super dark.
Speaker 2: But this week we go up to Santa Barbara.
Speaker 1: You know, if I'm talking about stuff like that, you
Speaker 1: can jump in and help. Oh sure, you know if
Speaker 1: if if you feel as though I'm up river without
Speaker 1: a paddle.
Speaker 5: Why, I don't want to interrupt you.
Speaker 2: Oh no, you know what I think it is. I
Speaker 2: think it's cowardice on your partner.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I think I think there's I think
Speaker 1: there's an element of cowardice, and I think there's also
Speaker 1: an element of I'm gonna let him do this.
Speaker 3: And I ask you both? Can I ask you about something?
Speaker 3: So tonight I had to go to a I had
Speaker 3: to go to a work event and somebody who I've
Speaker 3: worked with for two years introduced themselves to me, and
Speaker 3: I I just I introduced myself back, and I didn't
Speaker 3: know what to do. That was a moment of true
Speaker 3: cowardice in which I said, I'm not going to step
Speaker 3: up here. And I think that may be what Pratt
Speaker 3: is feeling. What would the point really be. Just let
Speaker 3: him go, let him cook, and then we'll, you know,
Speaker 3: we'll all eat later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll I'll eat later.
Speaker 5: That triggered a story from my past. As the audience knows,
Speaker 5: I've had my troubles with alcohol a number of years
Speaker 5: ago before I met my wife. I was I was
Speaker 5: at a bar and I saw a pretty little girl
Speaker 5: across the other end of the bar and over there,
Speaker 5: and I no, no, I mean we're at a bar. So
Speaker 5: she was thirty.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna turn the it's go ahead, hot.
Speaker 5: So anyway, I uh, I'm like, wow, this girl's hot.
Speaker 5: So we're talking for like five minutes, and it occurred
Speaker 5: to me I dated her for like four months, five
Speaker 5: years earlier. Her name was Danny. I think she knew
Speaker 5: the whole time.
Speaker 3: Oh oh my, oh god.
Speaker 5: Okay, let's get into the valley now before we start
Speaker 5: the recap. There is important business to get to the
Speaker 5: rating system. A rating system, as far as this network
Speaker 5: is concerned, is very crucial to the recap. And it's
Speaker 5: not every day that a rating system like I don't know,
Speaker 5: shoulder taps falls on your lap. Okay, that was gold.
Speaker 5: That's the rating system for traders. I mean, there's no
Speaker 5: other choice but that. And you just know it right
Speaker 5: when you hear it. So we've taken four whole episodes
Speaker 5: to solidify what is going to be our rating system,
Speaker 5: and the submissions continue to come in and now there's
Speaker 5: a full on revolt in our patriot and I'm troubled
Speaker 5: by it. So we are going to resolve this issue.
Speaker 1: Are you troubled by it or is it your favorite
Speaker 1: fucking thing?
Speaker 5: Possibly both? Well, anyway, we got a few curveballs thrown
Speaker 5: at us this week with some new submissions been bumps.
Speaker 5: It's always been well, that's true until possibly now. So
Speaker 5: the front runners have been joint custodies, poor life choices
Speaker 5: and bumps.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, yeah, but a.
Speaker 5: Couple submissions came in late this week, and I think
Speaker 5: one of them it just feels like it's it's it
Speaker 5: and you know it when you see it. So let's
Speaker 5: go with the first one, submission number one. I believe
Speaker 5: Britney at some point was so upset with something that
Speaker 5: Jax had done. She said so that she was quote
Speaker 5: on the brim, how many on the brims do you
Speaker 5: rate this? I said that, just so you can see
Speaker 5: how it feels. Okay, you say it now, this is
Speaker 5: the one that I think is going to be our
Speaker 5: rating system.
Speaker 1: That's a nie very niche illusion, but it's quite funny, okay.
Speaker 5: In the lure of vander pump Rules when you think
Speaker 5: about it, especially in the later seasons that when the
Speaker 5: show was becoming unwatchable, something happened where Jack's I believed
Speaker 5: it's something absolutely horrible, and Britney said an I quote
Speaker 5: rotten hell. I think the rating system rodalex Tyler. I
Speaker 5: think our rating system should be rotten hells how many
Speaker 5: rotten hells do.
Speaker 2: You give it? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, you know, looks like we with these newcomers, we've
Speaker 1: I'd figured out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, a real solid choice.
Speaker 1: Because I got to say both of those are good,
Speaker 1: and I'm in flux all over again.
Speaker 5: Well, that's why we're going to leave it up to Ruby. Okay, Ruby,
Speaker 5: is it in fact joint custodies, poor life choices, bumps
Speaker 5: on the brims or rotten hill?
Speaker 2: Now before you answer, I want to tell you something.
Speaker 1: Ruby's faculties are a little bit low. She's been hammering
Speaker 1: nerd clusters and she's filled with pooh gas.
Speaker 2: Even if she was.
Speaker 1: Operating at one hundred percent clip, I still think it's
Speaker 1: unethical to put all of this on her.
Speaker 5: You don't think she's of clear mind and loud.
Speaker 1: Well, even if she was clear mind, I mean she's
Speaker 1: filled fucking you want to talk about on the brim?
Speaker 2: She's on the brim with pooh gas, right, I mean
Speaker 2: she's been.
Speaker 5: Talking to us for about five minutes. She seems like
Speaker 5: she's got it together.
Speaker 2: Oh she's hiding it. Well, But anyways, Ruby, do you.
Speaker 5: Have a choice.
Speaker 3: If you want to give me sixty five percent, I'll
Speaker 3: throw down I really love bumps because it's just cocaine
Speaker 3: has ruined so many people's lives. Here's what I'll say,
Speaker 3: Whoever the fuck noticed on the brim If you can't see,
Speaker 3: I've been laughing harder than I've laughed in three weeks
Speaker 3: because of that. So thank you, thank you for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like I'm all in priam.
Speaker 3: What Broughten hail, Rod you did sleep with her?
Speaker 5: Broughten hal rot hale, All right, yeah, I don't think
Speaker 5: this is going to be resolved today.
Speaker 2: No, I think it is. It's bumped.
Speaker 3: No, Pat, we just did resolve.
Speaker 5: Thens are ganging up on old Patty. W whoa whoa
Speaker 5: whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
Speaker 1: How about you thinking that you were going to get
Speaker 1: the desired outcome via kicking it to Ruby, and when
Speaker 1: that didn't happen, you said, I guess we don't know.
Speaker 3: Well, I gotta go with what what was your desire?
Speaker 5: Rotten hails.
Speaker 1: No, No, we can say it every once in a while.
Speaker 5: I can accept defeat. I'm gonna say bumps on approach.
Speaker 2: You said it.
Speaker 1: You said defeat. Weird, that's how flow said.
Speaker 3: It, like how people say TV instead of TV.
Speaker 1: I will accept defeat.
Speaker 5: All right, all right, it's bumps bumps?
Speaker 1: Whoa I give this episode seventy five bumps, not great,
Speaker 1: not bad. I give it four bumps, four bumps. We
Speaker 1: had a lot of fun.
Speaker 2: In Santa Barbara.
Speaker 1: This the show's dark.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it sixteen bumps because there was a
Speaker 1: lot of fun stuff this episode. Legohead is a confusing
Speaker 1: one to me because I love to hate him, but
Speaker 1: I hate that he's on the television screen.
Speaker 5: I will reflect on that thought in my bomp.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Also, too much Lego ahead.
Speaker 2: The fact that.
Speaker 1: We went to a dirt heap with PVC piping strewn
Speaker 1: all over the place was pretty incredible.
Speaker 5: It's disappointing.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I wonder if Jesse planned that or not.
Speaker 1: Very confusing. Twenty five bumps.
Speaker 5: Twenty five bumps review. Would you like to go next? No?
Speaker 3: Pat you go?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 1: I can't believe you don't like a Fisherman friends.
Speaker 5: Here is my thought. Yeah, if there were no Michelle
Speaker 5: and Jesse on the Valley, and I'm talking season one
Speaker 5: and season two, they're well, if they weren't on season one,
Speaker 5: I don't excuse me. I don't think they would have
Speaker 5: been a season two.
Speaker 2: Thank you for your pain.
Speaker 5: They are absolutely horrible. I mean, he's worse than her,
Speaker 5: but they're both horrible. Yeah, and the fact that they
Speaker 5: were that second divorce happening in that first season, which
Speaker 5: was just six episodes if my memory service, yeah, there
Speaker 5: wouldn't be no season two. They are still carrying this
Speaker 5: franchise on their back.
Speaker 1: I do agree that Jesse is worse than Michelle, But
Speaker 1: is he worse than Michelle or is Michelle just losing
Speaker 1: right here? Yes, you think yeah, Yeah, he's worse. I
Speaker 1: think so too. I think so too, But Michelle's I
Speaker 1: don't know that we have seen the full picture, the
Speaker 1: full power of Michelle's evil. I'm I'm rooting for the
Speaker 1: day when she can regain the high ground Anakin, but
Speaker 1: she definitely doesn't have it right now.
Speaker 2: He's making her life a living out.
Speaker 5: Yes he is, and that Aaron character her new boyfriend.
Speaker 5: He ain't gonna be around long. No, he likes the
Speaker 5: cameras too much. I don't think he's there for the
Speaker 5: right reason. Long ahead, big eyes, right in hell, Jesse
Speaker 5: not wearing a shirt minus two rotten hells for that.
Speaker 5: I'm sorry, bumps, but Lego Ahead, Lego Ahead, the token
Speaker 5: gay guy, the token gay guy friend. He's very annoying.
Speaker 5: He's getting way too much camera time. I don't care
Speaker 5: about his storyline. This nice certain maybe he's not even nice.
Speaker 1: He's a nasty No, he's a nasty little guy.
Speaker 5: I would prefer to see more of Jasmine's life and
Speaker 5: her lovely girlfriend. Yeah, all right, so I'm gonna give it.
Speaker 5: Wine is really bad in Santa Barbara. So that was
Speaker 5: a miss for me as well. I'm gonna give it
Speaker 5: twelve bumps.
Speaker 2: Twelve bumps. All right, ribs, take us home.
Speaker 3: Okay, this wasn't a good episode, Yeah, it was really.
Speaker 3: I hate Benji, I hate Zach. I don't like the storyline.
Speaker 3: I only want Jasmine and her girlfriend if we have
Speaker 3: a couple, that if you're going to try to do
Speaker 3: this to us, Jasmine interesting. I love it. I think
Speaker 3: she's funny. I don't know why I don't like Zack
Speaker 3: so much. He cries, I don't care. This was eighty
Speaker 3: eight percent Zach. I didn't appreciate that. I thought that
Speaker 3: when they showed up to the PBC and they thought
Speaker 3: that they were going to get in real cars, that
Speaker 3: was very fun. But really sad stuff like Kristen's so sad.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't want to feel actually bad. What
Speaker 3: I do love that's very dark. This is what I love.
Speaker 3: That's very dark. I love to watch Jesse undress with
Speaker 3: his tiny little nipples. And I don't mean physically, I
Speaker 3: mean I mean keep doing what you're doing. And also,
Speaker 3: did you guys think his underwear was out of control?
Speaker 3: Who wears that kind of underwear?
Speaker 1: I think they were bunched up briefs.
Speaker 5: You're going to be happy to know. This week, Michelle
Speaker 5: did a podcast and she talked about how Jesse's actually broke. Yeah.
Speaker 5: I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: One last note before we start, how many bumps did
Speaker 5: you give it?
Speaker 3: I will give it fifty eight bumps?
Speaker 5: Okay, I'd forgotten about this note. J it h She
Speaker 5: shouldn't have showed up to this trip because she looked
Speaker 5: like she had food poisoning two points two rotten Rotten
Speaker 5: Hills deductions for that.
Speaker 1: You're talking about a bit of pastiness.
Speaker 5: There was something going on there. She did not look well, couldn't.
Speaker 5: I couldn't stop looking at her. I was like, what
Speaker 5: is wrong with her?
Speaker 2: Clammy kind of clammy.
Speaker 5: She should have gone to an emergency room.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you were there, would would you have said it? Said, oh, oh, jess,
Speaker 3: oh oh sorry, you have emergency room.
Speaker 5: You look on well, yeah, you look peaked.
Speaker 2: You would have said that.
Speaker 5: Yeah with you. People have said that to me, they
Speaker 5: were right, I was, yeah, going through some stuff.
Speaker 2: What are you going through?
Speaker 5: Well, one time I overdosed at a club in Las
Speaker 5: Vegas and a girl said to me, you don't look well,
Speaker 5: and I said, no, I'm fine, And the next thing
Speaker 5: I know, I'm laying on the ground with like a
Speaker 5: few emergency workers.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Well, I learned later it was horse tranquilizers.
Speaker 2: Okay. Cool.
Speaker 1: So we start the episode with Jesse asking little Isabella
Speaker 1: which shoes he should pack for the weekend. She picks
Speaker 1: out one of the most disgusting pair of pairs of
Speaker 1: loafers I've ever seen in my entire life. And it's
Speaker 1: no fault of her own. You know, she's a little child.
Speaker 1: They have a lot of colors. It's his fault because
Speaker 1: he bought them. He's the kind of man that buys
Speaker 1: those shoes, which is a really weird kind of man.
Speaker 1: You know, like there's there's all these things out there
Speaker 1: that people make shirt, shoes, stuff like that, and you're like,
Speaker 1: what kind of fucking weirdo buys that and puts it
Speaker 1: on Jesse.
Speaker 5: Well, we've seen that a lot in the Bravo universe.
Speaker 5: I mean those guys on Summer House this season, the
Speaker 5: shoes they're wearing. Carl was walking around like he's a
Speaker 5: goddamn leprechaun with those stupid green shoes. I've seen Jesse
Speaker 5: wear some ridiculous stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they're more like hot boy summer stuff,
Speaker 1: and Jesse's more like, I don't know, like like like
Speaker 1: criminal jeweler garb you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: Ooh, like a little uncut jem.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's a little uncut gem. So we cut two
Speaker 1: salts cure. This show really highlights the local merchants and
Speaker 1: artisans of Studio City. Well, I mean better than better
Speaker 1: than most.
Speaker 5: Yeah, we bounce around La lad. Now this is where
Speaker 5: Aaron asks his the girl he's in love with, Michelle,
Speaker 5: if she has any reservations sleeping out in Airbnb with
Speaker 5: a guy who recently spread around to her entire friend
Speaker 5: group that she was a reasonably priced prostitute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he asks her, what's the worst that could possibly happen.
Speaker 5: And she does have reservations, but she's still gonna go.
Speaker 1: It's amazing. Like, I don't think that Michelle would say.
Speaker 1: The worst that could happen is some ricky healer comes
Speaker 1: over and tells us to build a mandala in the
Speaker 1: middle of a circle of us and Jesse and I
Speaker 1: will begin to weep. I don't think she could have
Speaker 1: seen that in her mind's eye.
Speaker 2: But yeah, ultimately that was the worst thing that happened.
Speaker 5: Can I tell you big mistake on producers here? Why
Speaker 5: not have Aaron go up there and make him drive
Speaker 5: in the car with Jesse?
Speaker 3: Okay, make Aaron drive Jesse to Jesse's trip.
Speaker 5: That's right. That would have been fun. They might have
Speaker 5: found a common ground.
Speaker 1: I mean, listen, you know, I want to really drive
Speaker 1: these people, you know what I mean, Like I I
Speaker 1: don't it's the wrong word, you know. I want this
Speaker 1: to be a little abu Graybie, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like Love is Blind was great when they were abusing
Speaker 1: the contestants, and they should do the same thing here.
Speaker 5: You know, Uh, you don't so really went downhill when
Speaker 5: they stopped abusing them about time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you don't really do anything for money,
Speaker 1: So why don't you let's make it work?
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? All Right, So we get
Speaker 2: to the Tipsy.
Speaker 1: Cow Kristin legohead are talking. He's talking about Janet again.
Speaker 1: This guy is I'm gonna sound a little harsh here.
Speaker 1: When you think of somebody who's like pathetic, I know,
Speaker 1: it's not like it's an intense word. Yeah, yeah, but
Speaker 1: his run on this show is pathetic. I mean it
Speaker 1: really really.
Speaker 5: I mean for the three of us to watch this
Speaker 5: show separately and all walk in here with the same
Speaker 5: thought about that particular person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ruby, are you frozen? She's like, she's looking away.
Speaker 3: She's no, no, no, no, I'm not Dylan. I'm not frozen. Dylan.
Speaker 3: Someone someone has done. I thought that I was actually
Speaker 3: fucking hallucinating. It's it's ten o'clock PM and someone jackhammering,
Speaker 3: and I was like, there's no way that that's actually
Speaker 3: jack hamers. No, no, it is. And now I'm so no,
Speaker 3: what I am is so full of rage. I'm wondering
Speaker 3: do I go fifteen floors downstairs to them and say
Speaker 3: absolutely not. You hear it?
Speaker 5: Now? What you do is if you cannot hear it.
Speaker 3: If that's not there, then I really don't care.
Speaker 5: If Ruby, Ruby, you want to pay a little pay back,
Speaker 5: open up your window, look down on him and take
Speaker 5: a piss on their head.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, Ruby, do you have a wall unit
Speaker 1: you can throw down on them?
Speaker 5: Okay?
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know how this is going to affect
Speaker 1: the recording, but listen, pop in where you can. We said,
Speaker 1: fully support you. If you need to walk down the
Speaker 1: stairs and.
Speaker 2: Have a car. No I can't hear it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you're gonna go down there, take a butter
Speaker 1: knife with you. Okay, something okay, sure, yeah, something threatening.
Speaker 1: So we all gather for the trip at Janet's house.
Speaker 1: Jackson is not gonna make it because he is actually
Speaker 1: in a rehabilitation facility because he's addicted to cocapolara.
Speaker 5: He's either there or held up at a hotel at Burbank, Yeah,
Speaker 5: which is probably more likely.
Speaker 1: Lego haad n Iago ahead ribs.
Speaker 3: They did the after He was on the after show
Speaker 3: and he was like, legally, in a state of California,
Speaker 3: they cannot take your phone. And then immediately it cuts
Speaker 3: to Jason, who's a lawyer and was like the legality
Speaker 3: of his phone has nothing to do with this. If
Speaker 3: you want to get better at a rehabilitation center, you
Speaker 3: can say to them, I would like you to take
Speaker 3: my phone if you think that's better for me, and
Speaker 3: then take your phone. So and I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: look how you say that? Was you lying? Scum back, Well, we'll.
Speaker 1: Get to we'll get to it later.
Speaker 2: Take the phone.
Speaker 5: How do we have abilities.
Speaker 2: Not like take the phone?
Speaker 5: Well, if you get fifty one fifty as I had
Speaker 5: a very dear friend, have that happen to him, they
Speaker 5: do take your phone and you do go in the
Speaker 5: rubber room for your own safety. Really, yes, well fifty.
Speaker 1: One fifty is different than like love and schnefe, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean? True?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he admitted What do you have to do to
Speaker 3: that for to be Oh you can other people admit
Speaker 3: you yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah fifty one.
Speaker 1: There's a whole you know, gamb better things that gam
Speaker 1: out of things that you could do.
Speaker 5: My buddy tried to get off xanax without any medical
Speaker 5: assistance for two days, so we went through withdraw and thought, uh,
Speaker 5: Jennifer Anderson was talking to him through the TV. So
Speaker 5: he hit under his bed for a day and then
Speaker 5: his brother and family showed up and locked him up.
Speaker 1: So that's that's a very specific one. But if you're
Speaker 1: you know, threatening, you know, suicidal, stuff like that, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff, you know. I mean, let's say,
Speaker 1: for example, you get up on a balcony and you
Speaker 1: really think that you're Kate Winslet and you're like, I'm flying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you're going to the rubber room. I
Speaker 2: mean you need some help, you have to.
Speaker 1: It's yeah, okay, So Lego, had Nia, Danny and the
Speaker 1: Choky are going to be one in one car. The
Speaker 1: I believe the Choky Jasmine brought Benji on a stick
Speaker 1: the way this movie.
Speaker 3: No, no, I have to say something. So here's what
Speaker 3: I have to say.
Speaker 5: Huh.
Speaker 3: Benji is short for Benjamin I believe. Oh, bin Bingi.
Speaker 3: Bingi is what a Netflix series is. Bingi is what
Speaker 3: people refer to like muck bangers. Okay, Bingi. That would
Speaker 3: be Zach and I are done now if I'm Benji
Speaker 3: because Beingji isn't my name, you know, and it's everyone
Speaker 3: he calls him Beingji. The whole time, I couldn't hear it,
Speaker 3: and now now you two will hear it.
Speaker 1: Speaking of Benji, Roobsy watching.
Speaker 3: Mobland Mobland is incredible and anyone who values.
Speaker 5: Yeah so good.
Speaker 1: I mean you don't have a choice. You're like, why
Speaker 1: why am I looking at my phone right now? Moblands
Speaker 1: on Benji.
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be uh checking that out this weekend. A listener,
Speaker 5: a well informed listener, corrected Dylan. I had said, or asked,
Speaker 5: is it a show about the Irish mob? Dylan's mocked
Speaker 5: me and said, no, it takes place in England. It
Speaker 5: is about the Irish mob in England.
Speaker 1: Okay, whoa, you are such a catty little bitch today.
Speaker 1: I did not mock you. I just was incorrect about it.
Speaker 2: I didn't mock you. I just they felt that way.
Speaker 1: Yeah, col they talk like this, they say, oh chie
Speaker 1: Richie Freddy. So I thought that they were you know what,
Speaker 1: I think that Patron's wrong.
Speaker 2: Are they Irish Ruby?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I believe that they're Irish.
Speaker 1: There are Irish totally. Yeah, they're Irish Irish Mob.
Speaker 5: Thank you for the suggestion.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about Benji real quick. The way that this
Speaker 1: Benji on a stick makes this car move, the affect
Speaker 1: that this Benji has. Hey, hey, I got a question.
Speaker 5: Why did you bring that? I knew there was trouble
Speaker 5: in River City when someone had taken time to create
Speaker 5: that popsicle stick thing. I don't give a flying fuck
Speaker 5: about your love life. Leg go ahead, right, and guys,
Speaker 5: we don't.
Speaker 1: Care about you. Why would we care about beach?
Speaker 5: I think that's where I was at and this guy
Speaker 5: is looming large over this show. Yeah, no thing?
Speaker 3: Can Can I also like walk really like walk yourself
Speaker 3: through it? Who in the show has a fucking who
Speaker 3: has a color printer to print out his face?
Speaker 5: Great question?
Speaker 2: Great question?
Speaker 3: You know what I means? Like somebody had It's like
Speaker 3: the assistance on Housewives of Atlanta that had to go
Speaker 3: pick out the pictures of or print out the pictures
Speaker 3: of Britain sucking dick or bresucking.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you would do.
Speaker 3: Like the effort is horrific and it honestly, can I
Speaker 3: say when all these divorces are done, it worries me.
Speaker 3: We can't do this?
Speaker 2: Can I tell you?
Speaker 1: I just got a poster of Bill de Blasio eating
Speaker 1: a shake Shack Burger because he was telling everybody you'd
Speaker 1: get a free shake Shack Burger if you got the vaccine,
Speaker 1: And I was like, this is amazing. You could just
Speaker 1: get a poster literally anything.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's amazing.
Speaker 5: I got a poster of my wife and I holding
Speaker 5: our dear baby.
Speaker 1: Yeah, after about.
Speaker 5: Three weeks of her being on the planet Earth, I
Speaker 5: gifted my wife this I think it was twenty four
Speaker 5: inches by eighteen inches. Yeah, a big, big poster in
Speaker 5: a frame.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and.
Speaker 5: She asked me to put it class.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm with Surrey. It's not as cute as Bill
Speaker 1: de Blasio with a shake shack, but you know, I'd
Speaker 1: hang it.
Speaker 3: Pat is pad is like Sheena Shane in her first
Speaker 3: apartment when she had massive four four feet prints of
Speaker 3: her Shay in the apartment. That's what that was, Pat
Speaker 3: and Shri because she has tasted thank you so much
Speaker 3: in the garage. This will live, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, that's what me and CEC have pictures of us,
Speaker 1: massive photos, gray, black and white, just to remind us
Speaker 1: that we're here in this apartment and this is where
Speaker 1: we are and we're in love. Really that stuff from
Speaker 1: Sheenache and what's his name, Brock? No, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: oh oh, sh shaye chef.
Speaker 5: You have to see how fat Brock is getting. They
Speaker 5: were at del Mar. I don't know what event was
Speaker 5: going on down there and the outfit he was wearing
Speaker 5: dad pants and just his hair is like a looks
Speaker 5: like a mop on top of his head. Now, oh
Speaker 5: my god, it is not going well.
Speaker 1: Well, well, you know, we wish them all the best,
Speaker 1: right bet yeah, yeah, sureso. All right, So Jason Kristen
Speaker 1: Luke are in the other car with.
Speaker 5: Jesse, I believe, Yeah, yeah, no, this is the best
Speaker 5: part of the whole episode. Yeah, yeah, enough about they're
Speaker 5: discussing Michelle and Jesse asked the question, I don't know
Speaker 5: what her problem is?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for.
Speaker 5: Starters, you told everyone she knows she's a reasonably priced prostitute.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to think of a good comparison. I
Speaker 1: don't know what your fucking problem is.
Speaker 2: Well, do you have time? All right?
Speaker 1: So I love that these two are on a trip together,
Speaker 1: Like I know that we want to put Jesse in
Speaker 1: a car with Aaron's eyes. But the fact that Jesse
Speaker 1: and Michelle are going to an airbnb together, I mean,
Speaker 1: it's amazing television. It really, it's dark, but it's amazing TV.
Speaker 1: So the airbnb is insane, probably costs ten grand a night.
Speaker 5: You'd be shocked.
Speaker 2: I've looked at Santa Barbara before.
Speaker 1: The real estate in Santa Barbara is so sparse, sparse,
Speaker 1: so they really drive the home prices up when you when.
Speaker 2: You go on verbal.
Speaker 3: No, no, let's let's clarify. It's it's not sparse. It
Speaker 3: isn't sparse.
Speaker 5: Yeah, so it's like one of those I still don't
Speaker 5: you remember we did that event up in Solving, that
Speaker 5: gigantic mansion that you stayed for at like three hours.
Speaker 5: That thing was only like twenty eight hundred a day
Speaker 5: and there was like remember there was like eight people
Speaker 5: staying there. Do you remember, Yeah, that was comparable to
Speaker 5: this place. Yeah, but this is yeah, Santa Barat Yeah, Sam,
Speaker 5: we don't know that though it could not.
Speaker 2: It might be might be, Yeah, that's it might be
Speaker 2: in that's a dump.
Speaker 5: That's where I had my bachelor party.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean it's not a dump. It's just a place.
Speaker 5: It's more of a truck.
Speaker 2: Well, let's put it this way. There are little Caesars there, you.
Speaker 3: Know, amazing breadsticks, get an extra dipping sauce. You are
Speaker 3: good to go.
Speaker 2: Those breadsticks.
Speaker 5: How about the marina that pat.
Speaker 3: Thank you, that's the dipping sauce. I'm referring to thank you.
Speaker 3: It's incredible.
Speaker 5: I get two of them.
Speaker 2: Sorry, I did get high. Were you listening to what
Speaker 2: she said?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 3: But did you hear that we say the same thing,
Speaker 3: because he feels like unmoved?
Speaker 1: Did you did you hear?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 5: She said, they don't just have nara as sauce is there?
Speaker 5: They have a ranch, they have sa sauce. She was referring,
Speaker 5: do they have they have some weird butter thing too.
Speaker 3: Who you know, it's sad and there's probably so many
Speaker 3: people that are dipping those breadsticks in other dipping sauces
Speaker 3: that are.
Speaker 1: Horrible.
Speaker 2: Not a little Caesars.
Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that wherever there's a little Caesars
Speaker 1: it's a well, I mean, I am saying that kind
Speaker 1: of Los Angeles is a dump.
Speaker 2: We have lots of little Caesars.
Speaker 5: Yeah, let me tell you something. And Gale, you know
Speaker 5: that glad is a dump when you can't even get
Speaker 5: strippers to show up there.
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, that's tough.
Speaker 1: That's tough because they're really industrious people because they go,
Speaker 1: they'll travel far and wide, but not to go Lida
Speaker 1: because it's a fucking dump. Anyways, everyone arrives Jesse tries
Speaker 1: to give everyone white flags. He tells Michelle that she
Speaker 1: needs one more than anybody, and she refuses that flag.
Speaker 1: Danny's or Jesse's really feeling himself. He looks at Danny
Speaker 1: and he goes, take that black off. Why did he
Speaker 1: say that, Hey, calm down in a winter or what's
Speaker 1: wrong with you?
Speaker 5: Is this when he announced that he's already two bottles
Speaker 5: of prosecco in Yeah, he's an alcoholic, I think so, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I love that prosecco is his choice of booze. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's in that thirty guy chat though, bros. Only guys,
Speaker 1: you have no fucking idea. I got shit face fucking blackout,
Speaker 1: shit faced off Persilica last weekend. Okay, so cool guy
Speaker 1: Melissa gets there. Protect that butt, Melissa because Danny might
Speaker 1: smack it. You know, he likes to tip him back,
Speaker 1: and what he does, he smacks ass.
Speaker 5: Well, if you saw the trailer for next week's outer,
Speaker 5: he has a triumphant return that is short lived.
Speaker 1: Yes, because he gets blackout drunk but intended.
Speaker 2: Yes.
Speaker 3: Oh, I would like just to call him daddy when
Speaker 3: he's drunk.
Speaker 1: Okay, completely fine, They're going racing today Danny has some
Speaker 1: experience with raising.
Speaker 2: He was in a film called super Fast.
Speaker 5: Now I heard this, and you know, Pat, of course
Speaker 5: my fingers start to tap it away. I have to
Speaker 5: give the guy credit, so I did research on this.
Speaker 5: It actually was a film released in movie theaters. Now
Speaker 5: he was not the lead, which he alleged. He's like
Speaker 5: five people down on the film, but he was in
Speaker 5: fact in it. It was a twenty million dollar budget
Speaker 5: but didn't land well with the critics. Los Angeles Time
Speaker 5: commented on this review. While fans can appreciate all the
Speaker 5: winks and nudges to the film is a wreck for
Speaker 5: the uninitiated. Brian Ornoff gave the film a score of
Speaker 5: two out of ten, calling it a brain dead endeavor,
Speaker 5: with Helmer's returning to their comfort zone of head bonks
Speaker 5: and fart noises, even throwing in two incidents where characters
Speaker 5: are struck out of the blue by a speeding car.
Speaker 5: Perhaps Fredrick and Seltzer are vaudeville enthusiasts. Yeah, not funny,
Speaker 5: stupid and it was never funny, you.
Speaker 1: Know's there's too much cynicism in the film critic community,
Speaker 1: you know, I mean what you would see some of
Speaker 1: these reviews for just beloved films like Tommy Boy and
Speaker 1: Saving Silverman and stuff like that. Point and yeah, it
Speaker 1: does harken back to vaudevillian absurdity, but.
Speaker 2: You know what, that's hilarious sometimes.
Speaker 1: The fact that two people get hit by speeding cars
Speaker 1: out of nowhere sounds hilarious.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that sounds hilarious. Okay.
Speaker 1: So they head to the course and the course is
Speaker 1: a it's a pit of dirt with PVC piping strewn
Speaker 1: throughout the place. It looked a little small at first glance,
Speaker 1: and I was very confused what kind of vehicles they
Speaker 1: were going to be racing. And it turns out they're
Speaker 1: going to be racing remote control cars.
Speaker 3: I have to ask.
Speaker 2: That was a bummer.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I wonder how much it costs to do this,
Speaker 1: so better be free, godhead, very lame.
Speaker 3: This was Jesse got the sponsor from Ferrari or Perelli,
Speaker 3: whoever the fuck he was wearing. And then he was
Speaker 3: like I just want to wear the jumpsuit and they'll
Speaker 3: pay for everything.
Speaker 2: Can we go?
Speaker 3: Can we go? Can we peace pse? Please go? And
Speaker 3: then they were like, yeah, for sure. He had no
Speaker 3: idea that it was actually remote control cars. Until they
Speaker 3: got there. But I think that this would be so
Speaker 3: incredible if Jax Taylor was here completely coked out ye
Speaker 3: getting enraged at his little car flipping open, Like, could
Speaker 3: you guys imagine a fun that.
Speaker 5: Would have been.
Speaker 2: I didn't even think of it. Ruby, Well, you know what.
Speaker 5: I did appreciate the screenshots of him rage texting though
Speaker 5: I know, but me too, But that's dark.
Speaker 1: If he was here sneaked out of his mind, God,
Speaker 1: that would be amazing. He would he would get into
Speaker 1: a legitimate fight, and an Iceberg fight right top ten
Speaker 1: percent is about the cars, but it would spiral deep
Speaker 1: into something else.
Speaker 2: It would be hilarious.
Speaker 5: Now we're gonna have plenty of cocaine jacks at the
Speaker 5: rest of the season.
Speaker 1: Rodale. Okay, so speaking of jacks, can you call me?
Speaker 1: I just got a therapy and I had a breakthrough.
Speaker 1: Kristen gets a text too. And this reminded me a
Speaker 1: little bit of your neighbor coming up to you check
Speaker 1: it out on aps, Patreon dot com, slash on other
Speaker 1: podcast network and telling you, hey, you're you're there's somebody
Speaker 1: across the street who thinks you don't make your money
Speaker 1: doing this. It's an odd thing that Kristin did. Amazing story.
Speaker 1: I got a Patreon dot comp slash on the podcast network,
Speaker 1: Kristen does this kind of gross thing where she goes,
Speaker 1: I got a text.
Speaker 2: I can't show it to you.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't see it, but you know, I mean, that's
Speaker 1: Cave of Wonders kind of stuff.
Speaker 2: I mean, you gotta go, you gotta see it, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean.
Speaker 5: One could assume what's in that text though. Yeah, So
Speaker 5: I think this is when Brittany, while watching that car race,
Speaker 5: announces that TMZ just dropped the news that Jacks is
Speaker 5: in a mental facility. Yeah, and is this a rehab
Speaker 5: or a mental facility? We keep toggling back and forth.
Speaker 5: They can't get their stories straight. I think it's a
Speaker 5: rehab or a hotel in Burbank. Regardless. She asks everybody
Speaker 5: to go radio silent with Jacks. We don't want to
Speaker 5: trigger him anymore, you know. And then we learned that
Speaker 5: Jesse had told Jacks that they're all up in Santa Barbara,
Speaker 5: which is hilarious because if you're following the timeline of
Speaker 5: all this, when would he have been able to do
Speaker 5: that in person?
Speaker 1: Not really sure. Well, Jesse's a big Jacks advocate.
Speaker 3: They talk every day, you guys. Jesse is his I mean,
Speaker 3: if he could be, Jesse would go bail him out
Speaker 3: of rehab as his sponsor and bring him to Santa
Speaker 3: Barbara to drink prosecco with them. But he can't.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like Jesse would probably bring Jacks up there,
Speaker 1: get drunk on prosecco, and when people like had cause
Speaker 1: for concern, he would have said something along the lines of,
Speaker 1: I don't know what your problem is, you know. I
Speaker 1: think what happened was Jack's probably had that phone call
Speaker 1: with that robot who told him that it was going
Speaker 1: to be thirty thousand dollars non refundable, and he was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, fuck this.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna just go stay at the Safari End.
Speaker 5: For a couple of days and there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he loves the Safari and it's right across the
Speaker 1: street from Baskin Robbins.
Speaker 5: I think I think that's where the singer of Warrant
Speaker 5: drank himself to early death. Really sad story.
Speaker 1: La has a lot of weird hotels. The Safarian is
Speaker 1: one of those weird hotels.
Speaker 2: It's like a.
Speaker 5: Teaky here's how you get in films in Hollywood make
Speaker 5: a really funny, eye catching st Safari has Yeah, Safari's
Speaker 5: got were you gonna say?
Speaker 2: Ruby?
Speaker 3: Also pat the Circus Liquor, that's that good point.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I just watched Clueless with my daughter. She loved it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And that Circus Liquor is is you do not
Speaker 2: want to go there.
Speaker 5: It's violent and victor, it's terrifying location. You could die.
Speaker 3: I love that you are educating your child and that
Speaker 3: your child has good enough taste to understand that, yes,
Speaker 3: she should like it. It's a classic.
Speaker 1: I mean you get out to Circus Liquor, you'll see
Speaker 1: a shopping cart chain to a lamppost and it's completely empty.
Speaker 5: See a lot more as well. By the way, my
Speaker 5: lovely Ellie she love to bring it on as well.
Speaker 5: I'm showing her all the classics.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, great taste, Ellie.
Speaker 2: Yeah, great taste. So when are you guys going to
Speaker 2: get to the Witch?
Speaker 5: Oh it's on the docket. Okay. Minutes later, Jesse's X
Speaker 5: now ex girlfriend, the Orange County realtor, is the topic
Speaker 5: of conversation. Yeah, and to remind the audience, that is
Speaker 5: the girlfriend that had sex with a guy who was
Speaker 5: on Baywatch, a show that ended its run in nineteen
Speaker 5: ninety eight.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really bizarre that Jesse is defending He's he's
Speaker 1: defending a woman who has cheated on him numerous times, and.
Speaker 2: Why are you doing that? And also how can I
Speaker 2: keep cheating on you?
Speaker 5: I don't think he delivers in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he might be found wanting in the
Speaker 1: bedroom because people keep cheating on.
Speaker 5: You, man, it means you're not good in the sack. Now, Janet,
Speaker 5: of all people apparently blocked her because we've learned that
Speaker 5: Miss Orange County, the girl, according to Shina that banged
Speaker 5: guy on Baywatch, is very litigious and yeah, and she
Speaker 5: says she's gross, but not as gross as the girl
Speaker 5: that Jack is dating, who has been posting on Instagram
Speaker 5: that she eats ass.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's a that's a very generous thing to do.
Speaker 5: I have a buddy who's kind of a germophobe, but
Speaker 5: he's an ass eater. Conflict with one another. Yes, Yeah,
Speaker 5: he used to show up here during COVID on Sunday
Speaker 5: Football and he'd wear the mask the entire time. He's
Speaker 5: one of these guys. He'd drink in between. Uh. He
Speaker 5: pulled the mask down in between SIPs.
Speaker 1: Oh. Cool.
Speaker 5: Like then we go out to a bar like a
Speaker 5: month later, and I'm like, hey, what happened to you
Speaker 5: and that girl? He's like I ate her ass. I'm like,
Speaker 5: what the fuck?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you gotta be you gotta be. Yeah.
Speaker 1: In terms of particulates that I'm scared of, you know,
Speaker 1: fecal it is probably up there towards the top.
Speaker 3: The fear of getting tipped over in a porta potty
Speaker 3: is something I would. I would kill myself.
Speaker 1: I mean you could die.
Speaker 3: I would.
Speaker 5: We should see that in the movie. How has that
Speaker 5: not been a scene in a frat movie? It's been
Speaker 5: it has Oh yeah, well, I mean Jackass has done it.
Speaker 5: Oh oh there you go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's about right.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the porta potty slinky or sling shop?
Speaker 5: Oh is that Jackass?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: They had two massive cranes on a bungee cord and
Speaker 1: they attached it to a porta potty and then Stephen
Speaker 1: Steve O got in it and they shot it up
Speaker 1: in the air and then it came back down and just.
Speaker 5: He was covered covered. Let me tell you something, that's
Speaker 5: an ip that ain't going away.
Speaker 1: I mean you want to talk about getting back to
Speaker 1: Villian absurdity. I mean, Jackass is the pinnacle of that.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's just the purest expression of pain and
Speaker 1: joy coupled together in one just lovely viewing experience. But
Speaker 1: you skipped over a little bit of stuff. Okay, So
Speaker 1: we race. Luke breaks down the heats, the rules, the
Speaker 1: regulations like anybody gives a shit, and Zach is standing
Speaker 1: out in the middle of the track kicking cars. We
Speaker 1: get to the final heat when Jesse intervenes. He takes
Speaker 1: Luke's car off of the track and Danny wins, and
Speaker 1: Zach is still talking to that little BINGI stick.
Speaker 2: It is really really crazy.
Speaker 5: More important question is why our cameras still pointing at him?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, great question. So yes, everyone tells or Brittany
Speaker 1: tells everybody to lock it down, and yeah we we
Speaker 1: fight with the bait about the Baywatch lady who keeps
Speaker 1: talking about how she's well she having sex with a
Speaker 1: guy from Baywatch, which again twenty twenty with the Rock
Speaker 1: and Ephron or nineteen eighty nine.
Speaker 2: So what were we doing.
Speaker 3: It's David Hasselhoff, Dylan, that's who she means.
Speaker 5: No, who's dying right now, by the way.
Speaker 3: Oh, I oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't know that.
Speaker 1: If you if you told me to make a bet
Speaker 1: David Hasselhoff dead or alive, what do you think?
Speaker 2: And I got big steaks. I go dead every time,
Speaker 2: all the way, all the way. I mean, I for
Speaker 2: sure thought that he had died.
Speaker 1: I thought he choked on that cheeseburger in that bathtub.
Speaker 5: Probably should have. But he's still around.
Speaker 3: Okay, And David, we hope you are. We wish you well. Yeah,
Speaker 3: we'll say the the the Jesse going over to Janet
Speaker 3: and like Janet kind of gently quieting him down like
Speaker 3: he was a child. When she was like what did
Speaker 3: she say?
Speaker 5: That was a lie?
Speaker 3: And he was like she said that she slept with
Speaker 3: multiple people, true, and he was She was like, who
Speaker 3: did I tell? He was like, you told a lot
Speaker 3: of people. She was like who he was like, Jason,
Speaker 3: She was like, oh, my husband, I don't think that's
Speaker 3: people right. Janet said, don't don't start. You don't want
Speaker 3: to fight this way with me or something. I was like, Jesse,
Speaker 3: I think she does.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think she. I think you're on the ground
Speaker 1: bleeding right now. Janet had a good episode tonight. She
Speaker 1: really did if she?
Speaker 5: If she she didn't look well, but yes, still standing
Speaker 5: all right?
Speaker 1: So Jack, Janet Zach get to their little chat back
Speaker 1: at the house. I p a first, and I don't
Speaker 1: like Janet, but I do agree with her that it's
Speaker 1: big of her to even talk to this you Han,
Speaker 1: being one he's not a relevant character on the show,
Speaker 1: and two he didn't care that your pregnancy came to
Speaker 1: turn well.
Speaker 5: I want to say this. I also don't like someone
Speaker 5: that uses a defense of I blacked out when I
Speaker 5: said something horrible, and.
Speaker 2: Not only.
Speaker 1: Not only absolving himself of guilt by blacking out, but
Speaker 1: also implying that the things that he says are not
Speaker 1: of his ownership. They come from somewhere completely outside of him.
Speaker 2: They do not originate in his heart and soul.
Speaker 5: Now, the drunk lego head says what the drunk lego
Speaker 5: head feels.
Speaker 1: The drunk legohead says what the sober legohead feels. Right, great,
Speaker 1: start from Zach. He goes, you did a lot of
Speaker 1: horrible things. I did a lot of horrible things, but
Speaker 1: you did horrible things too. Okay, I thought we were good.
Speaker 1: This is what's so pathetic about Zach everything. But in
Speaker 1: this moment we get no, no, you're done.
Speaker 3: It's everything. I kid.
Speaker 1: In this moment we see like the full rainbow of
Speaker 1: like pathetic zac stuff. Okay, so he says he is
Speaker 1: a really he gets very very fixated on small fry stuff. Okay,
Speaker 1: So Janet did not invite him to big Bear.
Speaker 2: Oh that heart and that hurt.
Speaker 1: And we eventually get to a point in this conversation
Speaker 1: where let go ahead. He's so flustered that he must
Speaker 1: call me over, not for any mediation, but to hold
Speaker 1: his hand.
Speaker 3: And she did, is this and I mean this earnestly.
Speaker 3: Is this cocaine?
Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, it's comfort, it's his pacifier. He's a big
Speaker 5: old baby.
Speaker 1: He's a big old baby. So he says the things
Speaker 1: I said, I own. I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, the main thing that we get out
Speaker 1: of this is one him and Janet are good now,
Speaker 1: and two that he is very very upset with Britney.
Speaker 2: He is a nasty little baby. I mean, just a
Speaker 2: nasty little baby.
Speaker 1: So yeah, he just has lots of platitudes that don't
Speaker 1: make any sense. Friends do things that are.
Speaker 2: Out of pocket. Not really really, not really, they don't.
Speaker 5: Like that's not true though, well, thank god. The conversation
Speaker 5: ends when Janet tells Legohead that they don't need to
Speaker 5: be best friends, but for the sake of this annoying storyline,
Speaker 5: they need to move on.
Speaker 2: Yes, thank you, Janet.
Speaker 1: A spiritual healer heads over.
Speaker 2: Her name is Willa.
Speaker 1: What is with this group? And you love the name Willow?
Speaker 5: Willa?
Speaker 2: Okay, but it's a little bit like.
Speaker 1: Benji and BINGI do you like Willa or Willow?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: I like them both, you do, okay?
Speaker 2: Okay? I like Willa?
Speaker 5: Okay.
Speaker 1: I don't know what this group. We see a lot
Speaker 1: of spiritual healing on these shows. You remember all that
Speaker 1: trouble I got into when I was making Funny for
Speaker 1: the Pills, you were going.
Speaker 2: To take.
Speaker 1: Let's bypass all of this stuff and let's go there straight. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for these people one hundred? What do we do when
Speaker 1: making Mondala's Yeah?
Speaker 3: Okay, Willa, I am sure you are magical. These people
Speaker 3: are true for gone will they cannot be saved and
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 2: That's okay.
Speaker 1: Christen is off on our ovelation, very sad, very very sad.
Speaker 1: But she's pregnant now right, yep.
Speaker 5: Okay, she's doing June good. You guys might be in
Speaker 5: the same hospital.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, that.
Speaker 2: Would be so wild.
Speaker 1: If I rolled past the room and I was just like,
Speaker 1: I just want to tell you thank you for all
Speaker 1: the years of you being a disaster, and also I'm
Speaker 1: so happy for you. I'd probably just say I'm so
Speaker 1: happy for you because the first.
Speaker 2: Part you don't need.
Speaker 3: You know what, if she had already given birth to
Speaker 3: the baby, I think she might appreciate the first part.
Speaker 3: She might give you a chuckle, you know.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So Jesse and Jason and Danny have a little boy, Sash,
Speaker 1: and they they asked, how are you and Michelle doing?
Speaker 1: And he says not good. Good, she didn't even take
Speaker 1: the white fly. And then we get to Brittany and Zach.
Speaker 1: Now Zach is in tears.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: It's this weird thing where like I don't sound like
Speaker 1: an asshole, but he's still a guy, right, Like I
Speaker 1: know he's gay, but like you're still like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm with you.
Speaker 3: It feels it feels very like cocainey adder ali with alcohol,
Speaker 3: Like every emotion are just really high right now, and
Speaker 3: none of these conversations are going quite the way that
Speaker 3: he wants them to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, No, it's tough, but he is basically
Speaker 1: very very upset that Britney mentioned the awful things he
Speaker 1: should dropped a dime on when he was blacked out,
Speaker 1: because when he said those things, he was blacked out
Speaker 1: and he didn't mean them and they didn't come from him.
Speaker 1: All right, So we get to dinner, Brittany used a
Speaker 1: lot of butter on the dish, and then we get
Speaker 1: to the ceremonial list. Brittany just wants a big joint
Speaker 1: as opposed to all this stuff, and I'm kind of
Speaker 1: with her on that. She doesn't do well with this
Speaker 1: kind of thing. You'll remember we went to that woman's
Speaker 1: house across the street from Circus Liquor to have a
Speaker 1: meditation session with her and Jack's.
Speaker 2: Yeah that didn't take. No, it did not take.
Speaker 5: But speaking of Jack's, this is one of those moments
Speaker 5: where I wish Jack's was here.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he would have helped out.
Speaker 5: The ceremony begins, Dylan, if you don't mind, I'll do
Speaker 5: the honors. Yeah, Brittany wants to sparkle back. Michelle wants
Speaker 5: Jesse to die. Yeah, Jason wants to be cooler and
Speaker 5: Nia doesn't want to live in Santa Clarita.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so.
Speaker 2: Mondola, do everything you can too.
Speaker 1: Good luck activate those wants and those desires.
Speaker 3: Also, what is what does she call it? When Jason
Speaker 3: is like, also, I just want to will it invites
Speaker 3: him to say something and he's like, there's a person
Speaker 3: who's not here today, and he co parents with Brittany.
Speaker 3: I just want and Brittany's like, oh, thank you so much, Jason.
Speaker 3: I don't want to say anything. I don't want to
Speaker 3: ball Cray And it was just another It's just Brittany's
Speaker 3: so Brittany and it was so beautiful and it may
Speaker 3: be so sad that she does have to coke parent
Speaker 3: with that monster.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, Brittany's Brittany's Brittany. But she's a she's
Speaker 1: a really good, sweet person. What the hell is she
Speaker 1: doing that guy? You know? Does she does she hammer
Speaker 1: pork chops and beans until they're not really pork chops
Speaker 1: or beans? Did she you know pick Jack's Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: and all that crazy. That stuff's crazy. But she's a
Speaker 1: sweet person, yes, you know, speaking of the person that
Speaker 1: she chose. We get a video library.
Speaker 2: Uh, kind of little face time from Jack.
Speaker 5: Here's what a sucker I am. If I didn't know
Speaker 5: what a sociopath this motherfucker was, I might I might
Speaker 5: think he was getting better.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, Pat, If you if this is if
Speaker 3: the Valley is your season one and two is your
Speaker 3: introduction to this man, you do think that he is.
Speaker 3: If you've not known him on vander Pumbreles for the
Speaker 3: thirteen years that we have, and you haven't seen this
Speaker 3: thirty six times before, you would believe it. He's really good.
Speaker 3: Now he's in his fucking forties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great point. No, he's not a sweet person.
Speaker 2: He is sick. So Danny needs to leave.
Speaker 1: He's gonna do a job and he's got voiceover work.
Speaker 2: He's got to do a job in the morning. He'll
Speaker 2: be back then.
Speaker 1: But we wrap up this this gratitude circle with a
Speaker 1: gratitude ball.
Speaker 2: What could go wrong? Jesse gets it.
Speaker 1: He says he's in the middle of a very toxic
Speaker 1: situation right now, and then he hands it over to Michelle. Now,
Speaker 1: the one rule from Willa. She's not a big rules
Speaker 1: in regulations gal. You know she's a pretty free spirit.
Speaker 1: But she said or no, somebody said don't hand it
Speaker 1: to your partner, and I mean, I guess on a
Speaker 1: technicality it's not, but you know, he is mean to Michelle.
Speaker 1: He hands it to Michelle and says, why don't you
Speaker 1: go next, and then says to legohead, don't fucking roll
Speaker 1: your eyes at hers like you did mine. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and Zach says, I'm not going to roll my eyes
Speaker 1: at hers. I was rolling my eyes at you and
Speaker 1: he was like, no, that's what I said. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: well I rolled my eyes when you were talking. And
Speaker 1: he's like, yeah, don't do it when she's talking. And
Speaker 1: he's like, I'm not going to I did it when
Speaker 1: you were talking. And it's like now he gets in his.
Speaker 3: Underwear, you know, and then he closed that incredible fucking
Speaker 3: destruction of Zach by saying, I will bury that guy
Speaker 3: off this cliff. Hold on, let's look at Okay, he's
Speaker 3: on the.
Speaker 1: Rim, he's on the brim, he's on the prim Uh.
Speaker 1: Michelle gets the ball and we roll a beautiful package
Speaker 1: of their love and really crystallize why this show isn't
Speaker 1: good for anyone person on it. Tiny Nipples ends the
Speaker 1: episode in his odd underwear screaming at Jason and the
Speaker 1: world guys iTunes.
Speaker 2: Rating reviews five stars, kind boards. Reviews have been pouring in.
Speaker 1: We really really appreciate it. I want to read one
Speaker 1: really quickly.
Speaker 2: Ruby.
Speaker 5: We had a lunatic leave a review that they're mad
Speaker 5: that we combined our feeds.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, so this is a good one from Tona
Speaker 1: hang Man Rube. Four stars stinky twinkles wrinkles.
Speaker 5: Now, what's that in reference to what do we do
Speaker 5: with that?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: It's four stars, not about that? And it's the scratchings
Speaker 1: of a madman named Toenail Hangman.
Speaker 2: You know, I mean it's just crazy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm happy about the Internet, but I'm also not
Speaker 1: happy about it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if anything happens to any of us and the police,
Speaker 3: ask any of anyone ever listening to this look at him.
Speaker 5: First, I thought the same thing. I think we need
Speaker 5: some sc sci people to analyze that there's a message
Speaker 5: in there.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, And it's not good for us.
Speaker 1: And I actually thought that it was fairly harmless. And
Speaker 1: now I'm unbelievably scared. Yeah, worry five stars, kind words,
Speaker 1: help us find him and go to Patreon dot com.
Speaker 1: Slash another podcast network let us know your favorite things.
Speaker 1: Dylan saying goodbye, Pat say goodbye.
Speaker 5: Bye bye. He is Old. All Street sign your head