Speaker 1: I think we could make it work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you and Rainbow could really really do
something special together. The unfortunate thing is the violence that
she's capable of is a terrifying thing. It's like sleeping
next to a python.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's kind of hot.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, but definitely.
Speaker 1: You know you gotta worry about dying.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, you'll wake up one night and Rainbow will
just be stiff as a board looking over and get
measuring if you can swallow you.
Speaker 2: Oh, hello there, and welcome to bed tav On Dylan.
Speaker 1: That is pack permission to come aboard.
Speaker 2: Granted, you know who else we have in the studio.
Do you have a mic?
Speaker 1: I have a mic? I don't have a Cary. He's back.
He's back, favorite.
Speaker 2: Fan favorite Kaylan is back. I am so excited to
have Kaylen back for two reasons. One, he's got the
cutest laugh. Two, if the faders are fucked up, we
can just take our animosity out on in real time. Yeah,
in real time on and at Klein.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, his lovely wife. I believe listens and
so all that shit talking that we did, she hears it.
Speaker 2: Oh but I that's fine.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we love Kaylen I'd say it to his face.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: But he's back in the show is going to be
better because of it, better because of it.
Speaker 2: So we have a crazy episode of below deck to
get to Fire and Ice, which is the subtitle of
the hit book series that hasn't been published in fifteen
years and the HBO show that actually turned out to
be dog shit. Yeah, it's a very touchy subject for
me because we invest so much time and energy into it.
Speaker 1: You know, think about me with Star Wars. Dude, Oh
my god, what a big pile of dogs hit that is.
It's unwatchable. How much money they pour into that stuff.
Speaker 2: It's really really tough. And let's take a quick break
to get to our fan favorite segment. Let's get to
know Klen again. Kaylen, do you like Star Wars?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I like Star Wars, but I'm not his dad
was in Star Wars. No, okay, great, So what's the mandalorian?
Speaker 2: Okay, we've now gotten to know o'kalan and we are
back here to talk about Below.
Speaker 1: Some housekeeping though I don't think dyl is aware of
this because he's like been kicked off all social media platforms.
But you'll remember last week Dylan razzled me about mentioning
a possible appearance by a very important sea rat.
Speaker 2: Only because you've done it seventy five times.
Speaker 1: And it's not my fault.
Speaker 2: It's never worked out.
Speaker 1: The sea rat heard that. Oh he reached out and
he said, I don't like that. Dylan hassled you like that.
I am absolutely coming on. Let's grab dinner and drinks next.
Speaker 2: Good, then you're welcome. You know. It's so funny, like imagine.
So so if you go up to a let's say,
a rat, right, and you put your hand in its
face and you smack around and it bites you, and
you do it over and over and over again. You
could blame the rat, but it's your fault.
Speaker 1: Shame on me one, Shame on me twice. You never
get fooled again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and who's that again? Miss?
Speaker 1: I believe that's a former president mister.
Speaker 2: Oh because that sounded like a black man. Oh yeah,
yeah for sure. Oh man, shame on me either. Shame
on you won't again. Yeah, he's still with us, right,
Oh yeah, yeah, he's painting away. Yeah yeah. Well, let's
not talk about the Bush administration. Let's get into below deck.
A fantastic television show brought to you by Bravo. This
is the last charter. They have saved, just a hot
group of single ladies for this one way.
Speaker 1: To go out and they are really heated up.
Speaker 2: They are frothing.
Speaker 1: I love horny chicks. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, wrong
with that?
Speaker 2: Well, I mean it's it's it's a little cumbersome. And
it does get old after a while, you know, because
we've we've seen them. Now we do lambassed gay guys
for coming on and talking about oh, I'd like to
throttle that banana boat. And it's like, okay, we get it.
We condemn gross fatties that do it. So we gotta
keep we gotta keep it consistent. Okay, there is a
correlation of patients and appetite with how hot you are,
right that that's just reality, that's true. But we should
say that this is inappropriate.
Speaker 1: Do you imagine a gaggle of guys, straight guys going, hey, rainbow,
sit on that banana yeah, and take your shirt off.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like, what are you?
Speaker 1: You probably get thrown off.
Speaker 2: The yeah, definitely. So listen, Caylen, how you doing. I'm good?
Speaker 3: Great?
Speaker 2: Uh so we're here to talk about Below Deck and
let's get into our pots right now. And I think
during the negotiations that we had with Klan, which were
trying and difficult, Okay, Kaylan mentioned that he doesn't want
any fucking thing to do with any of the other ship.
Speaker 1: I don't want to work on Orange Countys.
Speaker 2: He wants to be quote unquote on our money maker.
Ye okay. He also, I believe, and I didn't tell
you this during the negotiations. He said, we're our lawyers there. Yes, okay,
he said I don't want to fucking have to watch that.
Speaker 1: I don't blame him. I don't want to watch it either.
Speaker 2: Well, so, so I was like in my head thinking
about throwing to Kaylin for his pots, but I don't
think we're going to be throwing to Caitlin for his pots.
Speaker 1: Also, we've watched the episode before most people get the episode,
so he's right. I suppose I can send him a
screener button No, why?
Speaker 2: No? Yeah? All right, So what did you think of
this episode of Bravo's Below Deck.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like the episode overall, but let's be honest
with ourselves. It was bloated with b Roll otherwise.
Speaker 2: Known as so much, so much b roll.
Speaker 1: A lot of meanwhiles, so many Meanwhile, just.
Speaker 2: Taking a FaceTime call about possibly going to New York
but never going to New York with some friend. Yeah,
why why'd you film that and put it on television?
Speaker 1: Oh that's of b roll. We need some filler up
in here. I'm gonna give it forty two knots.
Speaker 2: Went pretty quick there. I thought you were going to
go longer.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I want to I want to be brief.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, let me pull up my note.
Speaker 1: Caitlyn, if you saw the episode, what how many knots
would you That's.
Speaker 2: A quick question. That's a great question.
Speaker 1: I'd give it fifteen knots.
Speaker 2: That's pretty low. I don't think he liked it. I've
heard it wasn't great. So this is the last start
of the season we have.
Speaker 1: This is the second to last episode of the season.
Speaker 2: Yes, and we've got a lot of things going on.
I actually quite enjoyed this episode because these these ladies
are not just Sasha fiercing all over the place, all
horned up. These people are actually quite cynical about the
institution of the marriage.
Speaker 1: I read a New York Times article written this week
because it was touching on the Taylor Swift and Travis
Kelsey have gotten engaged in this particular writer.
Speaker 2: How many think pieces have been written about those two?
How many? How many? How many articles?
Speaker 1: If you lived a million years, you wouldn't have time
to read it. Life, we're infatuated.
Speaker 2: It's like crazy.
Speaker 1: Well, this particular writer was a little cynical of marriage,
and then she is married, and she threw her own
husband under the bus. She married, you have to deal
with a lot of annoying things and smells, and I
really don't want to be around him. But i'd say
that I'm paraphrasing. Yeah, I think he'd probably say the
same thing about me. Yeah, I'll say this to each
his own. Some people like marriage. I personally like it.
But I'm old now and uh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know your tea has fallen through the floor.
Speaker 1: I have no testosterone levels. I cry at Pixar movies.
I'm a pussy.
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I've been crying so much. So anyways, listen
forty pots fun episode. We're fans of marriage. Okay, that's
just me.
Speaker 1: And unless my wife ever cheats on me, then I'll
completely Yeah.
Speaker 2: So anyways, left the last way I left off, so
to Silet had gone full Joe Pesci at the CEO
of this bow. And actually Jess had gone full Joe
Pesci at so to silay for going Joe Pesci at
the CEO of this boat. So it's like we have
all these little angry Italian men's running around.
Speaker 1: Yes, but at the heart of this Frasier, the supervisor
on the boat, Yes, has an employee review meeting.
Speaker 2: Also known as the uh chief. Still the chief.
Speaker 1: Still he has a meeting with Ole And call me crazy,
but I don't think it had any impact on her
job performance. It's like trying to teach a little person
how to dunk a basketball.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was going to say that it would.
Speaker 1: It's just not gonna happen.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be like talking to a cornhole board about
improving your your work ethic. But little person ducking in
basketball is a much more it's a much more better. Yeah,
I mean much more better.
Speaker 1: You know, maybe if a trampoline was involved, a little
guy had a lot of heart, you know, But otherwise
you can't wish these things. They do exists.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, and and and the heart is a
nice kind of thing, but.
Speaker 1: Still not really even the heart's little, you know.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and if it's too big, I mean they
just body can't handle it, as is often the case
with those those little creatures.
Speaker 1: I don't know how many little people we have listening,
so I think we can not know.
Speaker 2: And also, you know, I'm getting what when you have
a daughter or a baby, you you get so much
more sympathetic to, uh, the things that go on with
people's health. Yeah, so we shouldn't be pieces of shiit.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, But if you're a little person and
you were offended by that, feel free to leave us
a one star review.
Speaker 2: And yeah, we're trying to get to two thousand, so
come one, come all. Okay, so last week left off
I already said that, But yes, he does sit down
with Cirque de Sole, and it's going nowhere. Sitting down
with Cirque de sole now is like negotiating with bank
robbers who have already killed everyone inside of that. Okay,
it's the last day of the charter or the last
chart of the season. What are we doing here?
Speaker 1: I think your point is it's absolutely pointless. Just let
her I don't walk around for the next day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, all right, let's get to the preference.
Speaker 1: Well it's Meanwhile, we have Jess who is owning her
own mistakes and doing a lot of self reflection. It's
something we've seen many times. It's the problem is is
that she's living in groundhog Day because she keeps doing
stupid shit, reflecting and then doing it again.
Speaker 2: Jess is super good at hr apologies. Yeah, that means
absolutely nothing. All right, let's get to it. It's time
for the friend Sheep made egg. All right. We've got
some ladies and some ladies that eat like Elliott.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be easier if they just said what
they would eat, which is lettuce, chocolate and veal veal.
I don't know, I just do that out there.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I used to like that one when I was a kid.
Tell you you saw how it was produced or learned
about it, and it's not pretty. Who wants to drink
milk all day?
Speaker 2: Yeah? What do you mean? Oh?
Speaker 1: Veal is calves that aren't allowed to grow. They stay
stationary in a box and they're exclusively fed milk until
they're brought to slaughter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is like a like a month or two. Yeah,
welcome to planet Earth. You know, it's a tough place
round trip ticket back to whatever primordial goo you came from. Yeah,
I don't touch this stuff, but listen, they they eat
lots of things like chicken cutlets and lettuce and chocolate.
So we also have some dirty martini drinkers, and we're
gonna be going to Happy Bay. You know.
Speaker 1: I'm so glad they're going to Happy Bay because it
seems like a wonderful destination. And I'm glad they didn't
pick that over a chlamydia cove, you know, because that
doesn't sound welcoming. Happy Bay just says come on in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Happy Base sounds like a Mario kart track, you know.
But I will say anytime there's a little opening in
an outlying rock, yeah, I think of that guy in
the squirrel suit that tried to get through one of
them and just smushed himself on the rock.
Speaker 1: Really, Oh, you're talking about like one of those guys
that jump off a mountain with the squirrel suits. He
tried to go through one of those little holes.
Speaker 2: And even more ridiculous, like like writing an article about
Taylor Swift and her fiance getting engaged, is Brian Gumbel
sitting down with the wife who was just grief stricken
by this man who tried to fly through a hole
of rock at ninety boles an hour flying. It's like, well, yeah,
he's fucking dead.
Speaker 1: There's only a stupider person than the guy in this
squirrel costume jumping off a mountain. Yeah, it's the idiot
behind him with the camera filming it.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, because he's busy, he's dead too. And also
they did not cover him in real sports. So eight
course dinner, fire and Ice, we're going to have a
chef Anthony meltdown, and that we'll be coming up later
in the show. So Carrie says, it doesn't matter if
it's the first charter or the last charter. These people
are paying, And I was thinking, oh, yeah, yeah, obviously,
I mean it's yeah, they're on the they're on the boat.
I mean it's I mean, it's a pretty cheap vacation.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Hish. His speech was only rivaled by that of
Frasier's later on the episode, which one was that we
was like, uh, we all hate these people, and if
we're all being honest, we kind of hate ourselves. We
wouldn't be here. But let's step it up so we
can get a good tip.
Speaker 2: Can I tell you this is a quality spin drift.
Speaker 1: Oh, his dad brought a bit. Really, I saw him
carrying go a bit.
Speaker 2: This is a quality spin drift. And his father is
actually famed actor Michael Bean from.
Speaker 1: Star Wars Mandalorian, Sir Mandalorian, by the way, to continue
my hackey joke, Yeah, have you ever heard that Win
church Hill speech? Uh, never surrender, We shall never surrender.
We shall fight the land. We shall fight out luc.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah in the fields.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah, whatever the cost may be, we shall
never Yeah.
Speaker 2: Easy for you. You're fucking sucking down champagne.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, a big fatty yeah, smoking cigars.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Look that up people if you've never heard that. And
also Iron Maiden would play that before every show. It's awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I feel like I've heard Christopher Nolan put that
in a movie or something.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sure.
Speaker 2: All right, So the Searettes get their work done so
that they can engage in their true passion, that is
acquiring a base of food for copious amounts of booze.
Now the bathroom band it Jazz strikes again. Her and
Babs head to the toilet to make out, and we
come back to the table to play a classic Sea
Rette game.
Speaker 1: Mary F Kill. Now we've played this on this podcast
many times done, and I have to say, if we're
all being honest with ourselves, we all want to be
the f person. Because you could say kill. That's hurtful, right,
But when they want to marry you, that means a
lot of things. You're safe, you're boring, friend zone, they
don't have to fuck you. Yeah, But to say i'd
f that person, that's that's the.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's the trophy. That's the gold medal of
fuck Mary Kill, the bronze being killed. Yeah. So listen,
So Lene plays. I actually don't even think that she
was asked to play. I think she just had a
little interjection wherein I think I mean apropos of the game.
I think she just said I wanted to kill Jess.
Speaker 1: I'll kill you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So Jess goes, Okay, well, we've got to go
have a conversation. And this is where Jess kind of
rifles off another HR apology where she recognizes that she
had some unresolved personal tension with Celene that she allowed
bleed into a work conversation and that that's inappropriate, very inappropriate. Yeah,
it doesn't take either.
Speaker 1: No, Ola doesn't give a ship No, she doesn't is,
and I don't give a ship mode right now, she's
got a day and a half left.
Speaker 2: No, no, no correction, sole Is, I don't give a ship mode.
That's right, Yeah, Selenne says, And this is where we
were talking. You have to be very careful with She's
She is an emotional terrorist, this woman Jess Ola Jess
too a little bit, but Olay is so ol will
treat you like shit. She has no allegiance to anybody
but herself. If you put a foot wrong, she'll be
She'll just milk it for all it's worth. And Selene
equates what Jess did to her to murder. She says
that if you kill someone, you can't apologize to them after.
And it was just a little bit of a grandiose
comparison because just didn't kill her. She just kind of said,
you are lazy. Yeah, so it's different.
Speaker 1: You know, out of the two of them, who would
you welcome back to another season?
Speaker 2: Both? I love both of them. Yeah, yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: I saw someone in our Facebook group say that they
would watch another season with this same cast.
Speaker 2: Run this exact same cast back, maybe a new chef.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta switch that out.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry. We Anthony's a softy. We love Anthony, but
like I don't like him.
Speaker 1: I don't have any respect for him.
Speaker 2: Right, well, he is. You know, I could do without
someone who's not gonna have sex with anybody. And I
can also do without the spirals, right, And I could
also do without the compulsion to bring up that his
uncle banged his wife, because that's just me and but
it is an automatic thing in us, you know.
Speaker 1: And necessary. We've got to remind the audience because some
people jump in halfway through the season. They have no
context for why he's such a spasmatic, heard of and pathetic. Sorry,
it's true.
Speaker 2: He is an empathetically a talented chef. And then the
chicken pi art was, oh my gosh, is make noicense.
Same night, we get back to the boat and we
have a conversation that we've had many times before.
Speaker 1: Oh the sea rats discussing the future. Yeah you want
to talk about pointless?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, can we make this work? After the boat? Answer?
And I wish we had pats. Actually, that's that's not
on the board. A family's should sound effect because What
we were asking for was things you would find in
your dresser, and sword was not at the top of
the list.
Speaker 4: Things you find in your dresser. A raccoon, yeah, no,
number one ass. Underwear, Yeah, underwear was a number one ass.
Speaker 2: Sorry, somebody else is like another woman's underwear.
Speaker 1: Another woman. Let's see if it's on the bowl. Someone
already said on the way, you dumb ass.
Speaker 2: Yeah he Steve Harvey is incredibly talented, you betman, incredibly talented.
I mean to make the most of what I mean,
let's just call it how it is. It's just disgusting, filthy, yuck.
Ignore me. He's walking into that studio.
Speaker 1: The guy that did the job two people behind him
hung himself.
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Steve Harvey just said, don't come in my
dress room. I have to I have to discuss things
with these these fucking I mean, I had to talk
to a family from Arkansas last week for three hours.
Do not come in my dressing room. So what do
you guys like to do for fun? You know? It's
like crazy?
Speaker 1: Uh so, uh, Damo is tired of Rainbow and he
always wanted olay. She's smoking hot.
Speaker 2: Well, this is this is the Watchmen kind of doomsday clock.
We get now, so he has three days?
Speaker 1: Three days, I think you can pull it off.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, are you kidding me? So Captain
carry no. We wake the next morning, Barbara gets three
concussions before getting to work, and we get to Selene's
baby crush on Damo. So So says that he has
always stomped on her feet to understand where she's coming from.
And one of my favorite things with Solent is just
the second language kind of translations. Yeah, always keep me
on my toe. It's like, what did she just say?
Speaker 1: Yeah that, you know, that's funny. You and I are
on the safe waylake. She said, he she's got a
good baby crush on him, But the real question is
will she have sex with him?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: Huh right?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know about that. Oh I don't know
about that.
Speaker 1: I was trying to read in between the lines. What
does it mean to.
Speaker 2: Be a baby crush?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe we'll see. We'll see the next episode.
Speaker 1: If she says, well, that's that's first pace, he says, well,
where do we got me? A couple of strands of
pubic care? And is z it on my face? Right? What?
That would be your teenage phase or something. She's going
through the phases of oh, you know, but.
Speaker 2: By that logic, home plate would be like what an
elderly man?
Speaker 1: Yeah, like Brad Pitt in that fucking.
Speaker 2: Uh defecating on yourself and dying.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was that movie? It was pretty good, the
when we starts out as an.
Speaker 2: Old man in The Curious Case of Bench Benjamin Buttons.
Speaker 1: That was a great movie.
Speaker 2: Man, what's it? No, No, it was not. And he
looked weird.
Speaker 1: It was bad, pretty weird.
Speaker 2: Captain Carry gives Hugo boss the chance to be a boss.
He's going to be driving the vessel. Now we've said
many times on this show, we don't know boat shit.
Oh I don't know how big of a deal this is.
I mean it seems like a pretty big deal, but
I don't know, boat shit.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's a tip of the cap to people in
the industry that are fans of the show, like you
can do this someday.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a like a Dare campaign for c ret
We've got a this is your Brain on drugs? Yeah,
do you remember that ad? Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I loved it.
Speaker 2: I don't It doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
Speaker 1: Well, there was it a frying pan.
Speaker 2: It was an egg.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was oiling. It looked weird.
Speaker 2: He goes, this is your this is your brain, and
then he cracks it into a cast iron and it
starts cooking and it looks good. It's it's about to
be a yummy egg. It's like, this is your fucking brain.
Speaker 1: This is the era of uh, the just say no campaign. Yeah,
apparently whoever created that had never done heroin.
Speaker 2: Sure you know it's a little tough. Yeah, Uh, I'm sorry.
Have you ever had a quad stack before? You fucking
lose her? Get out of my face. I got this
all right. So we've got dinner. Uh, there's going to
be a timing issue on the horizon. Chef Anthony is
going to have to go to the beach come back.
But right now he's got a charcuterie board to handle.
The guests arrived and we get a little bit of
an issue right out of the gate, that being Kyle
being unable to not bang charter guests.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Now, before we keep moving on this sub I want
you to look at me, and I want you to
please don't Okay, let's not go back in the past.
Speaker 1: Oh please don't mention who he had sex with, well, well,
he wants to have sex with all of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, anything else.
Speaker 1: I feel bad because, well, you don't edit this show anymore.
I don't.
Speaker 2: But oh still, that doesn't mean that we have to,
you know, call people barrels or warthogs or any of
that stuff. You know, it's true, that's true.
Speaker 1: It's beneath me.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know about that, but all right, a
lot of meanwhiles, meanwhiles. Anthony talks to the guests who
aren't really allergic to anything.
Speaker 1: Just kind of on the fence about gluten stuff like
you know what, which she basically just said, you know,
when I put it on the preference sheep, But fuck it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, people with like gluten allergies are real. You know,
people can I don't know, die or something. People with
gluten insensitivity is you just get a little bubble gut
and maybe shit your pants a little bit.
Speaker 1: You don't want to do that on vacation, though, that's.
Speaker 2: The time to do it. You can't afford to do
that in waking life. Right when you're on vacation, after
a full meal, you can have a little bit of
bubble gut, you're going to bed, you got nothing to
do the next day.
Speaker 1: You know what, people in America, aren't you surprised you
don't see more people on the side of the road
just pulling down their pants. I mean we eat like
pigs here.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah here. I mean the fact that people are
making it out of BUCkies. I mean people are walking
into BUCkies eating try Tip gas station brisket. Before they've
even left the gas station. The hiss of the hydraulic
door is going off and they've finished half of the sandwich.
How are they not shitting.
Speaker 1: On their way home. I'm just I'm always shocked. I
don't see more people pulled over.
Speaker 2: I mean that place serves hot dogs wrapped in tortillas.
A hot dog wrapped in a tortilla. Any BUCkies fans
get in the comments, let us know it's a very
foreign thing to Westerners.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, you know I don't need hot dogs, so
I will not be a patron.
Speaker 2: There, No, no, you will not. We have in and
out out here. Yeah. I don't know if you've heard
the recent comments from the NEPO Conto is the CEO
what you have to say, Oh, it's too difficult to
do business in California. Probably it probably is, but also like.
Speaker 1: Hey, bitch, oh suck it up.
Speaker 2: Well you already have five hundred million dollars. I mean right,
I mean things were going, okay, you know what.
Speaker 1: I was going to defend her. But it's still a
private company. They would, oh, sure shareholders, calm down. Well
it's a pretty tough regulatory climate over here.
Speaker 2: And well they've been doing it for one hundred years,
so I don't know how your parents did it. Okay,
you keep going, all right, sell us cheeseburgers, and everybody says, oh,
it's so cheap, so cheap. It kind of is still
that is really though.
Speaker 1: So we have a car and I saw a receipt
and there it was for in and out burger. My
wife left the receipt. I don't know what she needed.
She ordered a cheeseburger and some fries. The thing was like, fit.
Speaker 2: What I'm used to feed a family of four with internet.
It's going to cost you sixty seventy bucks. Cheeseburgers.
Speaker 1: Cheeseburgers all said he a little trick with their fries.
They taste like dry potato sticks after they have a
short shelf life.
Speaker 2: They have a three minute shelf lis yes, what.
Speaker 1: You do is when you get the fries, you wrap
them up in the bag.
Speaker 2: That is the worst piece of advice possibly, I mean,
that is the worst piece of advice you could possibly
get out. So what happens if you follow what Pat
is telling you to do is you will create a
kind of convection steam of and making them limp and
further tasteless. Now, what you have to do is unhinge
your jaw while you're driving and just tip it back.
Speaker 1: Like a like a dump truck, just dumping a bunch
of garbage.
Speaker 2: That's the only way those are palatable. All right, So
lunch is chicken steak with Jimmy churry and a corn salad. Oh.
By the way, I don't know if it was on
this show or another show, but I had a coughing
fit and some fans were like, that was a bitchy cough. Okay,
I was in the middle of a coughing fit. Okay,
Well I almost died and it took you, I think,
twenty seven seconds to go okay.
Speaker 1: Well, I was probably finishing my drink. You know we're
gonna get to we're listeners of this podcast.
Speaker 2: Where are your buzzballs? Oh?
Speaker 1: It's Buzzball Friday. You know, people are grabbing onto that.
Speaker 2: I know, what what are we doing? I know, free
advertising for buzzball.
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna say if I can get a sponsorship,
you know, Dame Oh, he reached out. He's a big
fan of buzzballs too. Oh really yeah yeah, and he
likes it too, So he's drinking a buzzball while he's listening. Right,
Oh really yeah? What was I gonna say? God, I
lost my goddamn train.
Speaker 2: We're going to talk about the fans of the show.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, we're going to get to a little
battye as when you don't give the little batties some
credit for some suggestions they made. They fucking go nuclear
on you in the comments.
Speaker 2: Actually well deservedly, so they should get credit.
Speaker 1: Okay, One particular little batty gave us the great rating
system for Orange County called fatty Photos. We've used it.
It was genius and we will give you your due.
But shut up, Shut the fuck up, Jesus Christ.
Speaker 2: We you know, I feel like I feel like there's
a renewed sense of energy with Kaylen.
Speaker 1: In here, someone laughing over there, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then also we have we have fallen into
of kind of fear complex with the fans. Mm hmm,
We've we've given them too much leash and too much rain.
Speaker 1: I'm starting to feel like I work for them and
they should.
Speaker 2: I can't have that dynamic at all. So all right,
So Jess gets a call from a friend. Oh, by
the way, I want to say, I'm not sure if
some of the fans have noticed a bit of a
fall off on my culinary segments, something that people really
rushed to the airwaves for.
Speaker 1: People are fans of your expertise in that field.
Speaker 2: Right, Well, So, as I've gotten more repulsed by the
foodie culture, and as we've become Mariah Carey, our screeners
have something called it's a chiron that says owned by
Patty and Universal Media.
Speaker 1: That's what I said.
Speaker 2: So it blocks all all the fucking ingredients in the food.
Speaker 1: I hate that too. Also when they do subtitles, it
blocks and I have no idea what these people are saying.
Speaker 2: So you know, it is it's a gilded cage we're
living in, and it's just it's tricky, it is, okay,
So sorry, jas gets a call from a friend. Why filmed?
Then we get to a little conversation with Fraser and Anthony.
This was a well Frase moment for me. But I
think Frase really manages Anthony. Well, uh, he.
Speaker 1: Takes on the job.
Speaker 2: He manages Anthony in the same way that you just
managed that fan that wants credit for fatty photos. Shut
the fuck up and get to work, okay, because if
you if you can't indulge it, you cannot indulge Anthony's
panic attacks because that's exactly what the panic attacks want.
It's kind of like that that Jumanji flower that's trying
to like suck people into you know, it's really really treacherous.
So the late Oh by the way, did you see
the fifth episode of Alien Earth?
Speaker 1: I have not seen it yet. Someone one of my friends.
Speaker 2: It's just one of the best episodes of TV.
Speaker 1: I was talking about it. Yeah my Facebook group.
Speaker 2: Oh friend, my god, Caylin, you see it.
Speaker 1: Fantastic, fantastic, It's great. It's so Jill and I we
do not We're never on the same page as far
as shows. There are two shows that we both love
right now. One stars Jason Momoa, Chief of War.
Speaker 2: Chief of Well.
Speaker 1: Is it on Hulu?
Speaker 2: It's on Apple Plus. Apple plus Apple TV.
Speaker 1: Is it okay anyway? Pay for the five bucks or
whatever for a month.
Speaker 2: And just it's probably like thirty but it's is it
really a wow? I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's awesome And Alien Earth on FX is great, great writing.
We're back to great writing.
Speaker 2: Wait until you see the fifth episode because in the
fifth and sorry, we'll get back to the show on
a second. But in the fifth episode you find out
what happened to the ship.
Speaker 1: Oh really they do?
Speaker 2: What go back at the time? Oh?
Speaker 1: They do?
Speaker 2: Holy cow, Can I tell you something. I love that
little eye. I love the eye. They're they're giving an
evil eyeball with tentacles personality. I mean, it's a character.
I it's it's absolutely incredible.
Speaker 1: All right, I already love Now you got me excited.
I can't wait for my wife to fall asleep so
I can actually watch a show that I like.
Speaker 2: I know, and you know, it's so funny. My wife
is giving me ship because I watch Alien Earth. But
I won't watch The Pit because the Pit grosses me out.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Alien Earth is the ooziest, gooeyest thing.
Speaker 1: But it's clearly fake. Yeah, the Pit, you never know.
Speaker 2: The pit that somebody has like puss coming out of
their vagina. And then there's people kissing in the hallway.
It's like, I don't want this right now. The guy's
fucking leg is broken in half. It's gross, all right.
So the ladies hit the water toys and they are frothing.
They're very into the sea rats. And this is this
is how you use a sea rat. Right. They want
to be used the sea rats be used. You think
Damon wants to strike up a relationship with any of
these women, No, he wants to be used by them
and thereby using them. And it was arbitrage.
Speaker 1: And I want to say this later on, the guys
go over which charter guests they'd like to have sex
with for our female listeners, the little female batties. I
wish this wasn't how men behaved. But we are all pigs,
and we're all pigs until we have no testoster.
Speaker 2: It's just lacker, rub jock. That guy has been a
pig all his life.
Speaker 5: I don't know, Yeah, you know, it's just a matter
of in fact. You know, you that famous people have power.
They let you you know, it's unfortunately or for some
fortunately you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know if Donald Trump has
ever gotten how many syllables is unfortunately? Okay, So we
get to nighttime, nighttime, and so so is setting us
up for a tough little dilemma. And I'm sorry I
got into politics there.
Speaker 1: We don't do that here.
Speaker 2: We don't do that there. And I know there's a
lot of you Trumpers out there, So I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: To have audience is maggot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's just a likable guy. Uh fucking bruised. Okay, So,
so So is setting us up for some a tough dilemma.
She is going to, I believe, bang Demo. Maybe not,
though she's gonna kiss Demo for sure.
Speaker 1: Well, she wants to have one of those. I wish
I could pull this piece out of him and then
this piece out of him and very guy to have
sex with for three weeks and then never talk to
him again.
Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing, this is on Kyle. I blame
any of the future tension that comes from this on Kyle.
Speaker 1: Really, Yes, he had her first, though first DIBs.
Speaker 2: There is no possession in this.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying he had his heart on her first.
Sorry to use a crass term like dibbs, but he
already has.
Speaker 2: Uh no, no, no, but but but we've spoken about so so,
we've spoken about the little piece, the free spirit, we've
spoken about the little people trying to dunk basketball. It's okay,
So you can't fall in love with not a little
person trying to dunk a basketball. You could fall in
love with the little person, but you can't, and.
Speaker 1: You can't fall You got to get an apple box.
Speaker 2: You can't fall in love with the pursuit of them dunking,
you know, because it's just wasted energy. And Kyle's doing
this thing where he's chasing her around like a puppy
dog and trying to make this, you know, more than
it is.
Speaker 1: She seems pretty willing.
Speaker 2: It's a rouge. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, So don't fall
for Kyle. Let's get to the easy menu. Tomorrow is
going to be the difficult menu. The ladies get ready
for dinner. Chicken pyard also known as a chicken cutlet,
is served for dinner. We also got a cute little
pink lava cake with a delicious little strawberry ice cream.
You know, can I say this is probably my favorite
dinner of the season.
Speaker 1: Really, all right, so I have issues with this and
sometimes it's you got to put people to actually create something. Actually,
I was talking to this guy who's a painter the
other day and I said, you know, I know this artist.
He just prints out the art and then he sticks
it on the paper and he goes, that's fine, that's
still art. I don't ding that guy anything. When you
fucking slap down a scoop of strawberry ice cream, I
want to know that you put it into an ice
cream maker made that. Oh yeah, yourself to buy it
and then just throw it on the plate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's I didn't think about that. I assumed that
he made it. You assume that he made it, And
that's foolish of me. What is he back there churning
salt ice to make this strawberry ice cream? Ass My
grammy used to do it, I know, but Anthony is
not your grammy. Okay, so yeah, I mean, had he
made the homemade ice cream? This is exactly what you
want to do for a dinner. Okay. This is elevated
meat and potatoes, which is at the end of the day,
all we really want, right you know, these New York
restaurants are blowing up with French tip sandwiches and burgers.
You know, they're not blowing up with molecular gastronomy. You know,
let's get back to our roots, right, I mean, we
haven't advanced any further than the Greeks, right, And and
all they wanted was meat and potatoes and boy assayeah, yeah,
that's it. It's just a joke. Yeah, you know, I
don't want boy I know me either.
Speaker 1: But you know who did? Michael Jackson? And I was
thinking about Michael because he's got a.
Speaker 2: Uh bi you know, there's a new theory coming out
that it was. Actually it's amazing. Twitter is so good
at sewing things back to Israel. But evidently the Jays
tried to get Michael Jackson to do something that he
didn't want to do, and he was like, no, wait
Jays and they were like, oh he will he show you?
And then they put out all this.
Speaker 1: Oh really, They probably wanted him to play a private
concert and he said, nah, not going there. And night
planes had I tuned sleeping all day. I think settlements
are rom and they said, Michael, yeah, we have a
DOSSI A on you your fucking children. Yeah, oh, come
and get me. You know, here's my theory on Michael.
This will end the argument. Okay, if he loved out
a children, why the fuck did he exclusively? We only
have little seven year old boys on those private jets.
Speaker 2: I mean this is an opening checkcase, right, there were
never girls. There's a lot of people that you know,
I don't let go. Yeah, I want to keep going
with this, you know I do. Yeah. There are people though,
they defend Woody Allen and it's like I get it.
I get it. He technically didn't do anything wrong. But
he also courted his adopted daughter from a very very
young age.
Speaker 1: He's on Bill Maher. Those two were buddying it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
So guy's ninety, he's still with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And listen, I love match Point as much as
the next guy.
Speaker 1: Right, but we watched that on Christmas. That's my wife's
dad's favorite movie. Isn't that shocking?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Has he ever had to kill someone? He was in
an extra marital.
Speaker 1: Reuben was like, I got a movie. I was like,
go ahead, what dad, match Pully? All right, listen, I'm
not gonna do my dad. Yeah, it's called match Point
that it takes a while to I'm nailing him, don't
my wife said, I will record you and play it
for him and he won't like you anymore.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeaheah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so crazy. A large black car salesman's favorite
movie is Match Match Point. Scarlet Johansson is pretty Scarlet
Johansson in that movie. Okay, so we have gotten off track.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Carrie has Hugo.
Speaker 2: Is it okay?
Speaker 1: Fantastic? Yeah, just like you remember it. Yeah, Carrie has
Hugo drive the boat even though he almost killed everybody.
Speaker 2: That was nice. Yeah, there's a moment where there I
think you're getting ahead of it's let's get let's get
to the fashion show. No, you're right. The fashion show
was then walking around and somebody fell down. Let's get
to the next morning. Next morning, tough look for Hugo. So, Hugo,
I don't know boat shit right, but he was. He
was too busy getting femmed up, yes to pay attention
to the boat hitting the right.
Speaker 1: I think to his credit, I believe that he was
probably distracted by production saying this is what you need
to be doing right now, and he got caught up in.
Speaker 2: The cameras, which is probably why Carrie was so chill
about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, So I love carry.
Speaker 2: We keep rolling on the day and we get to
Happy Bay. Love. Fraser Damo asked if he can spit
the limes out and start sucking face with the charter guests,
and Fraser just goes, we don't have limes. Really, shit
on your pade it So the beach picnic is popping,
the stray dogs are having a blast. Is there anything
that brings you more joy than just an affable straight
I'm not talking about a three legged one that wants
to bite you.
Speaker 1: No, no, that's not going to hit by cars repeatedly, no, no, no.
Speaker 2: Oh. By the way, started my morning with a dead
kitten in the middle of the road. Yeah, I drove
past it. I said, you know what, if this thing
is still alive, I'm gonna have a tough time here
because I'm gonna have to pick it up and figure
it out. So it was dead as fuck, and uh.
I called three one one, and after twenty five minutes
of Chicano Heritage at Union Station messages, I hung up
and I was like, I don't think anybody picks this
phone up.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wanted to tell them there's a dead cat on
Seward and Lexington.
Speaker 1: Now, dyl what was the indicator? The fact that it
was Ah, it was in the shape of a plate.
Speaker 2: It was fairly flat. And I don't want to joke
about this because it made me really sad. Okay, clearly,
some there's no excuse to run over a cat in
a residential neighborhood. You should never be driving that fast.
And well to the person that did, I would, I
would throw exclusively elbows, just the sharpest bone in my body.
Speaker 1: And I would too, but they probably wouldn't fill it
because clearly they live in LA and they're driving, so
they were very high.
Speaker 2: Unbelievable, so angry. Anyways, Hey, three, one one, pick up
the phone. Good luck with that one, My god. All right,
so love. We talked about that, the straight dogs having fun.
We talked about the dead cat. Okay, we need to
get ready for a the biggest dinner of the season.
I mean it's an eight course song of fire and
ice kind of dinner. I mean, we have teams for
this dinner, right, These ladies are very invested in this.
Before that, though, Rainbow asks Sirk to sleat if she's
excited about having a dishwasher again. Now, I don't think
that Soso has a dishwasher or uses it if she
is excited about it. I mean, so so is a
takeout kind of lady.
Speaker 1: I think, oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't have a dishwasher
until I was forty. I'm not kidding.
Speaker 2: Really, paper plates, I don't know. You know, everybody tells
me you got to leave the food on the plates
for the dishwasher because they the soap needs yuck to activate.
Speaker 1: To touch it.
Speaker 2: I can't do that. It's like crazy to me to
like put up what a plate soaked in spaghetti sauce
and it's gross.
Speaker 1: Well, here's a admission. I didn't get a dishwasher till
I was forty, and I haven't ever used it yet.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get in the comments. Let us know when
did you get a dish washer? And also do you
put your dishes in there with Schmitz on it or
do you clean it off before they go in. I'm
actually pretty interested to find out. So the dinner is good,
We're getting ready for the dinner, and all of a sudden,
Anthony cannot do an eight course dinner. So we're an
hour and a half from game time and he cannot
lace up the cleats. He's talking to Rainbow about how
strat he is. So Rainbow is the second stew on
this vessel. She has no power to do anything you
need her to do. And you're just fighting windmills right now.
Speaker 1: And she has a phone, though, and she can text
Fraser saying this fucking chef is losing his goddamn mind,
which is exactly what she did.
Speaker 2: Rainbow is really good at dropping dimes. Now that this
is a dime drop. This is more like, you know,
there's a fire down there.
Speaker 1: But you know, I'm really attracted to her. If I
wasn't afraid of her crushing my cranium with a boulder
while I slept, I think we could make it work.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think you and Rainbow could really really do
something special together. The unfortunate thing is the violence that
she's capable of is a terrifying thing. It's like sleeping
next to a python.
Speaker 1: Yeah it's kind of hot, Oh yeah, but definitely. You
know you gotta worry about dying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, You'll wake up one night and Rainbow will
just be stiff as a board, just looking over measuring
if you can swallow you or not. All right, So
Hugo has a big day. He got to drive the boat,
even though he fucked up and I don't know boat shit.
So back to Anthony's fucking but this is a big deal, right, Yeah,
it's a big deal.
Speaker 1: Big deal.
Speaker 2: And listen, you know, working a road caster is intimidating
for some people, you know, So I mean fucking piloting
of how many pounds does this weigh? Sixty sixty? Yeah,
it's a big deal. So back to Anthony's fucking nuclear fallout.
Fraser finally gets down there and he says, just shut
the fuck up. Okay, just shut up and Cook, stop
talking to me about this. You have an hour and
a half and we're going to find out what happens
next week. But he says he's not an octopus, so
he can't pull this off.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, fire, no ice. Something tells me that he
pulls it off. This season will go go out with.
Speaker 2: A bang and not a whimper.
Speaker 1: Oh whimper, I think. But that's fine because I really
enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a great, great season. And next episode
we're going to have Kyle catching feelings for Cirque de Solan. Kyle,
we love everybody, but I mean, what are you doing?
You cannot dunk that basketball. You're too short get in
the comments. Follow Kaylin at Badass Eats on Instagram. I'm
Dylan saying goodbye, Pat, Say goodbye.