Speaker 1: Here we are. Hey, Hey, hey, hey, I have some
Speaker 1: new terms that I just learned that are probably not
Speaker 1: new and actually on the way out, but I want
Speaker 1: to know if you know what they mean.
Speaker 2: Oh god, no, probably not.
Speaker 1: I also have a nice stack of cool random news,
Speaker 1: including random things everybody does but never talks about, and
Speaker 1: some acronyms of twenty twenty five, the most searched ones.
Speaker 1: I want to know how many you know? I want
Speaker 1: to know how many you acronyms? Yeah, like all of them? Okay,
Speaker 1: like text acronyms like thank you, like t y No
Speaker 1: one says that anymore. Well whatever, Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm talking about. Okay. So we have that, and then
Speaker 1: we have a game which is called laugh out Loud.
Speaker 2: Can my little discs go.
Speaker 1: These?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Here are your discs? Oh? Now, this game is either
Speaker 1: gonna be really funny or I complete dud And that'll
Speaker 1: be funny because we'll be super embarrassed. It'll be really
Speaker 1: really cringey. And if that allow fails, I have a
Speaker 1: question game and these questions are to the max, so
Speaker 1: we have lots of fun things we can do.
Speaker 2: Did you just say to the max?
Speaker 1: I did? I went back to my valley girl. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, gag me with a spoon?
Speaker 2: Totally tubular, totally, like tubular is not a valley girl phrase.
Speaker 1: No, tubular wasn't.
Speaker 3: But that was cringey surf movies from the nineties.
Speaker 1: Phrase gag me with a spoon. Yeah, that was like totally.
Speaker 3: For valley girl phrases. I've always been partial to like
Speaker 3: your was it your grandmother sucks eggs or something?
Speaker 1: This was a movie from It was called Valley Girl
Speaker 1: Girl and this is some of the terminal And there
Speaker 1: was a song valley Girl, She's a valet girl, and
Speaker 1: then it had her saying all that's fun.
Speaker 3: Ill it wasn't it.
Speaker 2: Moon and at Zappa or something that's sang that song or.
Speaker 1: Someone of the zappas something something to do with as Zappah. Okay,
Speaker 1: so let's start with these chorms that I've just I'm
Speaker 1: Laura Kane, by the way, How Hi Laura Kane, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. This is Eric Grimmer and producer Brian How
Speaker 1: do the three of us host Laura Cane after Dark?
Speaker 1: The podcast we do?
Speaker 3: I don't host it.
Speaker 1: Well, you're part of it. You're part of the family,
Speaker 1: the podcast family.
Speaker 3: Okay, we can be a podcast family, but us three
Speaker 3: it doesn't extend to watchers. I'm sorry watchers.
Speaker 1: Let me just put it this way and die on
Speaker 1: the sill.
Speaker 3: By the way.
Speaker 1: You have not been You're gonna You're gonna like roll
Speaker 1: your eyes so hard I think they may go back
Speaker 1: inside your skull.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 1: I've been in this business a long time.
Speaker 3: Oh no, you haven't, Yes, I have. No, you've been
Speaker 3: in radio a long time.
Speaker 1: I've been in the business, which business of speaking on
Speaker 1: a microphone with headphones to somebody out there listening distributions.
Speaker 3: Everything radio is different business.
Speaker 1: And let me just say that I completely forgot what
Speaker 1: the point was.
Speaker 3: Wow. Yeah, you have been this business a long time.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. Listeners become family because they come.
Speaker 1: They get to know you, and you get to know them.
Speaker 1: If Eric Eric was a listener.
Speaker 2: I was, and and he could have killed you, literally
Speaker 2: your husband.
Speaker 3: Eric could have robbed you and murdered you.
Speaker 1: He became my family because I love he was so funny.
Speaker 1: I was so mad when I found out he was gay.
Speaker 1: I was like, because he's so funny, I thought, this
Speaker 1: is the guy, this is my guy.
Speaker 3: How long did it take you to figure it out
Speaker 3: about two point four.
Speaker 1: Seconds until I met you. I didn't know until I
Speaker 1: met you. Oh yeah, no, because he was with someone.
Speaker 3: At I don't know. He called. He's like, hey, Laura,
Speaker 3: You're like, he doesn't this a little bit.
Speaker 1: He's not affected like that.
Speaker 3: He does not give straight man vibes.
Speaker 1: He he is a very manly, manly man.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, baby, that's so mainly that I know.
Speaker 3: It's like not actually.
Speaker 1: I know you're gonna get in trouble not only by me,
Speaker 1: but bye by your little bff over here too.
Speaker 2: Your jugs look so hot today.
Speaker 3: As as our residence. Straight man. That is something I'll
Speaker 3: totally say.
Speaker 1: He gave them love boobs, though boobs are okay. I
Speaker 1: was telling my mom and Judy Church about being a
Speaker 1: platinum star gay and a gold star gay and what
Speaker 1: those things mean, and then I told them that you
Speaker 1: are just absolutely you never have and never will and
Speaker 1: never want to see any kind of vagina in person ever, ever, ever,
Speaker 1: and never have you.
Speaker 2: And I don't even like the word angina because it
Speaker 2: sounds too much like vagina.
Speaker 1: And they were like, wait, what they know they don't
Speaker 1: like they don't like that. I'm like, no, no.
Speaker 3: No, no, wait, what's the platinum?
Speaker 2: Oh hole, is a platinum that that you've.
Speaker 3: Just never seen a woman? They can know.
Speaker 2: It's when you are. You're born acessarean birth.
Speaker 1: So you've never been through a vagina. You've never touched
Speaker 1: a vagina, You've never kissed a girl or been with
Speaker 1: a girl. You are a platinum. You are the top
Speaker 1: of the top of.
Speaker 3: I kissed girls, kissed girls.
Speaker 2: No, not vagina, not with tongue I've kissed girls with
Speaker 2: tongue before.
Speaker 1: You're still a gold star. Yes, yes, because he's never
Speaker 1: been with ben when.
Speaker 3: He loves women too much to be platinum starve women.
Speaker 1: They love fun?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Oh really no, some gay men don't.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, well me, I can't stand women the worst.
Speaker 1: You are on fire tonight. I don't know you're gonna
Speaker 1: get it. Email Laura kine a d at Gmail, Attention
Speaker 1: producer Brian Okay, I will send them along to I don't.
Speaker 3: Care because you guys are not my family.
Speaker 2: Oh boy, people are write in listeners.
Speaker 3: I appreciate you listening.
Speaker 2: We love our listening family.
Speaker 3: Tell us tell all of us, send us email, tell
Speaker 3: us what you dislike about all three of us.
Speaker 1: Because of me and Eric Rimmer over here. You have
Speaker 1: a family on the West coast because your own family
Speaker 1: moved across the country, and that must have been sad.
Speaker 1: But guess what, you have a family with us, and
Speaker 1: therefore you are able to continue with your life as
Speaker 1: usual because of us. It's a family, Laura.
Speaker 3: Laura, because of me, you have somebody your children's age
Speaker 3: reminds you of your kids because they also fled the
Speaker 3: state of California the first opportunity. They went to different
Speaker 3: corners of the United States, but opposite corners to be sure,
Speaker 3: like right away, So I think we have a mutually
Speaker 3: beneficial arrangement.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, and I like the fact that you guys
Speaker 2: are my family because I don't really I know, I'm
Speaker 2: an orphan.
Speaker 1: And he doesn't have a brother anymore, so you have
Speaker 1: I know, you're like, we are your family, and are
Speaker 1: some of our listeners are our family?
Speaker 2: Yes, I think some of our listeners would probably want
Speaker 2: to leave me on someone's doorstep.
Speaker 1: But no, you're the favorite, stop it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're the favorite.
Speaker 1: You do the least, and he's the favorite, or.
Speaker 3: Is the sad dog and I'm the evil bad man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just the pathetic one over here. I guess
Speaker 1: that is true. Okay, So somebody said to me the
Speaker 1: other day, Hey, that is really showing some riz. I'm like,
Speaker 1: what is that nice? That's the first time I ever
Speaker 1: heard that you're riz. Now, yes, I do know what
Speaker 1: it means.
Speaker 3: See if we can get Eric to figure it out.
Speaker 1: Like, oh my god, you are you are showing some riz. No,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't say showing you are sporting some rizz. No,
Speaker 1: you are showing you are showing. That picture is all RIZ.
Speaker 2: Wait a minute, so that that picture is all riz.
Speaker 3: Let me let me give you he's got great riz.
Speaker 3: He's risen someone up.
Speaker 1: Yes, ay, Yes, it's short for charisma. It just means
Speaker 1: that they you're showing like you've got it.
Speaker 3: Go it'ssma okay, but it typically means good at flirting too.
Speaker 3: There's kind of like there's a little bit of a
Speaker 3: heavy emphasis on that portion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not good at that, do you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to use this in a sentence. She
Speaker 1: sang that song acapella at the party and she ate
Speaker 1: and left no crumbs.
Speaker 3: Okay, the left no crumbs parts.
Speaker 1: That's part of it, or looked at not real she
Speaker 1: ate and left. Oh my god, she ate it, she
Speaker 1: ate it all ate, she ate it, nailed it. There
Speaker 1: you go.
Speaker 3: The most common use case of that vernaculary would be
Speaker 3: just be like, oh.
Speaker 2: She ate, and I'd be I would be like, ate what, Yeah.
Speaker 3: She ate?
Speaker 1: What about busting busting b u s s I n Does.
Speaker 2: That have something to do with your asspe Nope, I
Speaker 2: could say about an.
Speaker 1: Ass, though, yes she could. Those nacho cheese fries were
Speaker 1: busting' awesome and if they were really good, they're busting busting. No, yes,
Speaker 1: that's what I read in my.
Speaker 3: Little You're okay, let me your your sheet is wrong.
Speaker 1: Do you know what gucci means gucci when somebody says
Speaker 1: gucci not like all gucci. I don't know because I
Speaker 1: didn't write it down like it's all good.
Speaker 3: It just means good.
Speaker 1: And have you heard the term ohio?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay, now this is this means like something kind of cringey.
Speaker 3: Ohio or just like strip like does that thing even exist?
Speaker 3: Like it doesn't even sound real, like uh.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she was so ohio the other day,
Speaker 1: extra just like when when she was talking about her ex,
Speaker 1: like cringey kind of like yucky Ohio is more.
Speaker 3: Of a meme than it is like a like something
Speaker 3: you would use as like a lexicon. Like it's more
Speaker 3: of like an ongoing meme of like something from Ohio.
Speaker 3: Just like does Ohio even exist?
Speaker 1: Like? Really? Okay, those are the ones? So those are
Speaker 1: I know they're probably out by now that we.
Speaker 3: Know about is still in busting Okay, an eight, it's
Speaker 3: still around. Okay, Ohio that needs to go. Hio is
Speaker 3: kind of gone at this point. That was a short
Speaker 3: lived meme.
Speaker 1: You're going to start using it.
Speaker 2: Riz is actually a good one, guaranteed, I will not.
Speaker 3: Okay, may find you some new ones.
Speaker 1: Hold on now onto acronyms. I want to know if
Speaker 1: you know what any of these mean, because I it's
Speaker 1: going to be difficult.
Speaker 2: I can tell you right now.
Speaker 1: No, okay, they are ones that we use online there
Speaker 1: we use them for texting or for shorthand. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: what is fa f O stand oh?
Speaker 2: I only know this because of TikTok Fuck around and
Speaker 2: find out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, I'm impressed.
Speaker 2: The only reason I know.
Speaker 1: That this one you should know? S m h.
Speaker 2: Shaking my head.
Speaker 1: There you go. What about p m O No clue
Speaker 1: I'm so mad they told me about the ending PMO
Speaker 1: pisses me.
Speaker 2: Oh, pisses me. Okay O TP, no idea.
Speaker 3: On the phone.
Speaker 1: That could be it.
Speaker 3: But no, I'm kidding. That was a little bit of
Speaker 3: red hearing for you.
Speaker 1: This one. I don't know if you would even know
Speaker 1: one true pairing meaning a romantic couple you're rooting for.
Speaker 3: I know it is. Really, it's like it's a very
Speaker 3: big fandom thing. People who are like part of a fandom,
Speaker 3: they're like intense fans of something. So like you're a
Speaker 3: big You're part of the White Lotus fandom. And if
Speaker 3: you're like these two characters are meant for each other,
Speaker 3: the two brothers, so.
Speaker 1: Uh O TP, they are totally O TP.
Speaker 3: That one's a little out though, what is that O TP?
Speaker 1: One true pairing? Like we want them to be together?
Speaker 1: TBH tb H it has been around.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hold on, honest, I hear TBH more than I
Speaker 3: hear the full people say this.
Speaker 2: To be heard, no, no, to be what.
Speaker 1: Eric, I gotta I gotta to tell you something. Your
Speaker 1: breath is not good or oh, to be honest, and
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding about your breath. Uh a TP at
Speaker 1: this point ts TS TS talk soon.
Speaker 3: Oh, no one uses that.
Speaker 1: What about w y F w y F No, I
Speaker 1: don't know where you're from.
Speaker 3: I have never heard anyone say that.
Speaker 1: What about as L?
Speaker 3: I have no idea. That means as as fuck?
Speaker 1: No age, sex location.
Speaker 3: It also means ASL. Also weirdly means as fuck, Like
Speaker 3: you could say that that was weird ASL, and for
Speaker 3: some reason, that is a acronym for as fuck.
Speaker 1: Okay, now this is an explicit episode.
Speaker 3: It wasn't before.
Speaker 1: Okay, what about POV come on point of view? There
Speaker 1: you go f S f S f S for sure.
Speaker 3: No, Also, well, f f S is a good one too.
Speaker 1: What's that one?
Speaker 3: For fox sake? Oh?
Speaker 1: What about f M L?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: My life? There you go, u h m U. I
Speaker 1: don't know, get me up there you go, hit me up?
Speaker 2: Oh, w s G no idea.
Speaker 3: I think it's what's good?
Speaker 1: There you go, like, what's up? What's good?
Speaker 3: No one says that either.
Speaker 1: I am oh, it's a good one.
Speaker 2: I am o.
Speaker 1: Ok this jacket is a little old.
Speaker 2: I am o oh in my opinion, here you go, yay.
Speaker 1: And then MK it's just kind of sure for okay?
Speaker 3: Okay, you want some real one. Yes, I I r.
Speaker 1: C I I R C I I here is he?
Speaker 3: I don't know if I remember correctly, if here's another
Speaker 3: popular one? What I y K y k if you
Speaker 3: know you know, yeah, you know that that's a big TikTok.
Speaker 2: I had to look that up, Okay, because I did,
Speaker 2: I was like, what is this?
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a big one.
Speaker 1: W w j S.
Speaker 2: What would you say?
Speaker 1: What would you say?
Speaker 3: Or is it do? It's different w w j D
Speaker 3: and w w j S. I think the D is
Speaker 3: the more common one.
Speaker 1: Uh. Now, a little bit of depressing news before we
Speaker 1: get to the funny.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: According to a new study in February, they did this study,
Speaker 1: San Diego has the highest inflation problem in the country. Well,
Speaker 1: I know, yep, that is okay.
Speaker 3: I could have told you that.
Speaker 1: I know. Well, I mean La San Francisco, sometimes New York.
Speaker 3: He is actually affordable compared to San Diego. Like actually,
Speaker 3: besides the housing market now, but like even before the
Speaker 3: fire's lease, rent was actually was not that bad in La.
Speaker 1: When I get went to get gas in Rancho Mirage,
Speaker 1: it was three sixty nine.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: I was so excited. Yeah, and it's not even not
Speaker 1: even close to that.
Speaker 2: It's almost six here, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Well, I go to the cheapest of
Speaker 1: the cheap. I go to the dirtiest, cheapest, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I bet you no name brand. Guess you should have.
Speaker 3: A jeep too. You should be more careful, you know what.
Speaker 1: I've put crap gas in that jeep for four years.
Speaker 1: She has never she's never let me down.
Speaker 2: So glad I don't elect your car.
Speaker 1: Are you after your incident?
Speaker 2: Yes, I got that all taken care of.
Speaker 1: Okay, Now, Brian, will you set up here in the
Speaker 1: guest spot so we can play all this together. We'll
Speaker 1: see if it works. Let's just see if it works.
Speaker 1: I got this game. It sounded funny. Let's see if
Speaker 1: it works. I don't think so. I think I bought
Speaker 1: this like at a store. Okay, you're gonna explain later.
Speaker 1: And you can't explain now, okay, okay.
Speaker 2: You're staying where you are.
Speaker 3: Okay, can you turn your mic on intoll this on
Speaker 3: it doesn't go and.
Speaker 1: Say okay, well Eric, okay, I'll start. I'll pick the thing,
Speaker 1: and if I make you guys laugh, I get one
Speaker 1: of your coins and then eventually you have to try
Speaker 1: to guess what I was doing.
Speaker 3: Wait, I'm sorry, explain the rules one more time.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick a card, and on the card is
Speaker 1: something I have to do, do or say. It could
Speaker 1: either one, it differs. And if while I'm doing it
Speaker 1: I make one of you laugh, you have to give
Speaker 1: me one of your coins, and then I'll let you
Speaker 1: know what it is I was doing. If you haven't
Speaker 1: guessed it, play a little music just to make it exciting.
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Okay, it's already.
Speaker 1: It's already a dead it's already a doade. I feel it.
Speaker 1: But we're gonna try to make it work because we
Speaker 1: don't give up. Oh Jesus. Okay, and don't be bratty
Speaker 1: and and straight lined for a mouth just on purpose,
Speaker 1: just to screw with you.
Speaker 3: I'll come step you, but I'm not going to move
Speaker 3: the camera. If that makes more sense.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's fine, Okay, don't this is mine. Okay, Eric,
Speaker 1: you had a great week. You're doing a great job
Speaker 1: at work. High five, give me a high five. Give
Speaker 1: me a high five. Okay, that didn't work, Okay, I
Speaker 1: was supposed to be giving Give someone the slowest motion
Speaker 1: five stroke. Okay, okay, okay, first one of dead. Let's
Speaker 1: suh now you now you okay, don't say what it is,
Speaker 1: but let's see if you can make us laugh doing it.
Speaker 1: Oh God, oh god? Okay, okay, okay, we'll see. We'll see.
Speaker 1: Do I have to take anything off? Is to breathe
Speaker 1: on on the breathe on.
Speaker 2: Physically close to you as possible without touching you.
Speaker 1: Where's my weird looking on? Okay?
Speaker 3: That the most awkward way weird?
Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you wanted me to do? Why?
Speaker 1: Kneeling in front of me? Okay, Brian, Oh well you
Speaker 1: didn't like that one. Okay, Brian, just you have to
Speaker 1: do if I'm oh my god, put them away or whatever.
Speaker 2: Just go.
Speaker 1: You're doing this one.
Speaker 3: I don't know what it is something physically cannot do.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well you our son is being very brady.
Speaker 2: Listen, you gave birth to them.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, okay, here we go. Okay, let's see
Speaker 1: if we laugh at this.
Speaker 3: Do you guys know what the birds and the bees are?
Speaker 1: I have an idea. Well, what I mean? Explain it
Speaker 1: to me?
Speaker 3: I guess, Well, in nature there are birds and the
Speaker 3: and there are sometimes they have sex and they make
Speaker 3: more birds. That sucked, all right, thank you.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that was a true. Okay, this round
Speaker 1: doesn't go better.
Speaker 3: Okay, the car was give give them to talk about
Speaker 3: the birds and the bees.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's not like you could have been
Speaker 1: a little bit more creative with that.
Speaker 3: But I got a laugh. You did get I knew,
Speaker 3: I knew the stupidest way possible will get a laugh.
Speaker 1: Okay. Oh, I smell notes of nutmeg and a little
Speaker 1: bit of spice. A fine pairing with.
Speaker 3: This is not even funny. I'll give you stop. I'll
Speaker 3: give you a coin to stop. Oh god, Laura, no.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, I would pair that with salmon.
Speaker 2: Oh, it smells like a bag of nickels.
Speaker 3: I think you're going to do it again.
Speaker 1: I had to smell the people person's next to meet
Speaker 1: body parts and explain them like a fine.
Speaker 3: Awkward Okay, let's just do one.
Speaker 1: See if we get a funny one. Come on, we
Speaker 1: gotta keep going. You've gotta try.
Speaker 2: I have to go.
Speaker 1: I didn't look at it. If you feel like you
Speaker 1: need to pick another one leg because Brian is oh no.
Speaker 3: There are so many bad ones in there.
Speaker 2: Mhm. We are gathered here today to celebrate the life
Speaker 2: of Laura Kane. Wow. Laura died in a gas explosion.
Speaker 2: She farted herself to death. The explosion was terrible, the
Speaker 2: fumes unbelievable.
Speaker 1: M Hm, I don't love.
Speaker 2: Because you're it's gonna be.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be.
Speaker 1: I'm not giving you a coin. Why well, I gave
Speaker 1: you one.
Speaker 2: He made her laugh.
Speaker 1: Okay, he's going to go.
Speaker 3: No, okay, jacking them for a good reason, all right,
Speaker 3: all right, like this one like we don't have the
Speaker 3: space for all right, we're.
Speaker 1: Trying this out. Sometimes things work, sometimes they stn't. I
Speaker 1: told you I I gave a free crusior to this game.
Speaker 2: It could have been in your crotch. Does not smell
Speaker 2: like a bag of neck calls. By the way, it
Speaker 2: was minty fresh.
Speaker 1: Than you, I think, as as closed as you've ever
Speaker 1: got to my lower regions.
Speaker 2: Really is it smell like catnip?
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, here we go this one though, Okay, because.
Speaker 3: I don't even know what gods, but what I want
Speaker 3: to do would be really mean.
Speaker 1: To whom me. We'll just go ahead. If it's gonna
Speaker 1: be funny, would it be funny or just mean, would
Speaker 1: people find it funny?
Speaker 3: Here's what I've gotten heat for this in the Oh no,
Speaker 3: they don't do it like addiction or something.
Speaker 2: Don't do it. Oh God, don't do it.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 3: I surrender.
Speaker 1: Okay, do one more.
Speaker 3: I went through all the tapping out.
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, all right, you and I will do one
Speaker 1: more and then I don't know. Okay, no, I'm not going
Speaker 1: to do exactly.
Speaker 3: Thank you. They're terrible.
Speaker 1: Okay, here noodles? Noodles?
Speaker 3: Really that made you laugh?
Speaker 2: That made you laugh just for trying to be sexy.
Speaker 2: So we're gonna be So this is the dumbest thing.
Speaker 1: I think it is terrible. I'll throw it away, but
Speaker 1: you gotta try it. Got to go back to your
Speaker 1: freaking seat.
Speaker 2: Oh this is this is a game slam dunk.
Speaker 1: This is a game changer. Okay, are you trying to
Speaker 1: hide your teeth? Can you do that for the friend way?
Speaker 1: I don't think they clearly saw what you did.
Speaker 2: So I had to sing YMC like I had no teeth.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's not funny on any level.
Speaker 1: When he was looking at me, he makes.
Speaker 3: This game?
Speaker 1: Was this game blue? Okay? Do we have time for
Speaker 1: anything else? Should we end? This thing. Okay, So all right,
Speaker 1: let's do The bowl of questions has some serious ones
Speaker 1: and they are the ones with the cards. Okay, so
Speaker 1: I'm gonna pick one for Brian first, and you have
Speaker 1: to answer these. I know, I don't have to do anything.
Speaker 1: I don't have to do anything. I'll do whatever I want.
Speaker 1: You don't pay me enough. You're not my real boss.
Speaker 3: I have never said any of those things.
Speaker 1: You're not my mom.
Speaker 3: So mediocre. I'm way more dry than that and funny.
Speaker 1: All right, Brian, Yeah, if you want a million.
Speaker 3: My mom, I'm not answering these questions. All right, go ahead.
Speaker 1: This is very simple, but it's be real. If you
Speaker 1: want a million dollars tomorrow, what would you do with it?
Speaker 1: How would you spend it?
Speaker 3: Give it to a financial advisor?
Speaker 1: Same Jay Ortzler, Eric, you want me, you want to
Speaker 1: pick here, pick your own, you can pick through there.
Speaker 3: I would say, take my money and go make me money.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I take a little bit.
Speaker 3: I know, you take a lot of me. You'd be
Speaker 3: like just ten twenty twenty. No, if I you know,
Speaker 3: if I, if I, if I use still stave half
Speaker 3: of it. That's still a goodly amount of money and
Speaker 3: then a hundred spins it, you know, red Dragon later
Speaker 3: or Lucky Bison.
Speaker 2: Okay, what did I study in college?
Speaker 1: Oh? My god, well there's a variet veterinary medicine, animal husbandry.
Speaker 3: Wait wait are we ask? Is this a quiz about him?
Speaker 2: Now?
Speaker 1: Oh? Wait no, wait, go a different one.
Speaker 2: What did you study in college?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Just do a different one.
Speaker 1: Oh you're supposed to say what you Oh? Oh but
Speaker 1: I answered it for you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, do a different one.
Speaker 2: That's still a different one.
Speaker 3: You all know that. Anyways, I'm all jacked up.
Speaker 2: What is my superpower to detect bullshit from one hundred
Speaker 2: miles away?
Speaker 3: He's like, but never burn any bridges?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have a superpower.
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 3: She's sensitive?
Speaker 1: It's dick dar?
Speaker 2: Oh yes, you have your deal dar?
Speaker 1: You know what that is that you can just tell
Speaker 1: if someone has a big dick and it doesn't. I
Speaker 1: can't like conjure like you. I can't conjure it up.
Speaker 1: It just comes to me.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you, but I don't want you to.
Speaker 1: I don't want to think about it right now because
Speaker 1: it's not appropriate. Tiny, But you have you have kind
Speaker 1: of BD? I do you do? Like on TV? Every
Speaker 1: once in a while, Like I'll just look up at
Speaker 1: a newscaster and I'll go, oh, that guy's got a
Speaker 1: big dick. Or I'll see somebody walking down and it
Speaker 1: just hits me. I'm like, that guy is a tiny dick.
Speaker 1: I can never prove it. That's the problem. But I
Speaker 1: do believe I have that superpower.
Speaker 3: I think everybody has this.
Speaker 1: Oh I would disagree.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't. Okay, Eric gives. Everyone knows Eric has a big.
Speaker 1: Big he has that. He also has a photograph that
Speaker 1: I've seen.
Speaker 3: See your I can tell and you've I haven't even
Speaker 3: seen the photographic evidence.
Speaker 1: I've seen him wearing my spandex one pieces and.
Speaker 3: We've all seen him in the tightest clothes you can imagine.
Speaker 1: Please, So it's good.
Speaker 2: It's apparent the things I do for this show, you
Speaker 2: do that for you.
Speaker 3: Let's not kid ourselves.
Speaker 1: What is the best thing somebody has ever done for you?
Speaker 1: Is it your turn?
Speaker 3: No, it's your turn.
Speaker 1: I think the best thing somebody's ever done for me.
Speaker 1: And this is going to sound really backwards, but I
Speaker 1: believe that my ex husband, the best thing he ever
Speaker 1: did was call the cops on me.
Speaker 2: I knew you were going.
Speaker 1: To say, that day when I said I was going
Speaker 1: to kill myself, not meaning it, but he did what
Speaker 1: he was supposed to. And because I hit that bottom
Speaker 1: and it was so raunchy and I was out in
Speaker 1: front of my neighborhood, handcuffed, I hit my bottom.
Speaker 3: Can I just say the card I got in the
Speaker 3: last game that I wanted to do but didn't was
Speaker 3: impersonate somebody in the room. And that's exactly what I
Speaker 3: would have said, because I would have chosen lawyer.
Speaker 1: There are so many other ways to impersonate me that
Speaker 1: don't involve drugs and alcohol.
Speaker 3: But the funniest ones are the drugs. Like, my name
Speaker 3: is Laura Kane. I've been to rehab sixteen times.
Speaker 1: I have got one. I'm picking yours ready, Okay, okay, Brian, Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm erik.
Speaker 1: I No, I just don't know what to prove it. Oh,
Speaker 1: I already know this one.
Speaker 3: What was it?
Speaker 1: Did you work as a teenager? What did you do?
Speaker 1: You worked a Chick fil It? Yeah? Who did you
Speaker 1: spend the most time with when you were a kid?
Speaker 3: My mom?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I knew you were to say that everybody is
Speaker 2: that bottle all?
Speaker 1: No? Do you did you ride bikes with friends. Did
Speaker 1: you like that?
Speaker 3: But I still spend more time with my mom.
Speaker 1: That's cute too.
Speaker 2: I love my mom.
Speaker 1: Did my kid well, I don't know me in a.
Speaker 2: Lot of time.
Speaker 3: When they were trying to bike ride the Oregon in
Speaker 3: New York, respectively, they couldn't make it.
Speaker 1: They were secretly making plans since they were like thirteen.
Speaker 3: You're putting quarters in the piggy jar.
Speaker 2: What makes you feel the most alive?
Speaker 1: oOoOO?
Speaker 2: This is a good one, being with my friends, like
Speaker 2: like doing the podcast, really stuff like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Eric's out to dinner a nice restaurant. He's like, God,
Speaker 3: I feel so alive right now.
Speaker 2: And I love fire.
Speaker 1: You do? God? I wish I loved cooking, I really
Speaker 1: truly do. Is it your turn?
Speaker 3: No, it's yours.
Speaker 1: I have no brain obviously. Right now, tell us about
Speaker 1: your first car. Okay, you know what a dots in is? Yes,
Speaker 1: I had a dots in. I won't want to stick shift. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it was three hundred dollars. My parents bought her. I
Speaker 1: remember it was three hundred dollars they bought for me
Speaker 1: for first car. And it was such a piece of
Speaker 1: crap that the beautiful car. No, it wasn't beautiful dots
Speaker 1: in like three stick white. No, it was like a
Speaker 1: blue collar. It was horrible, absolutely horrible, and the keys
Speaker 1: would not stay in the ignition. They just kept falling
Speaker 1: out and it was just a piece of crap.
Speaker 2: Wait, could you still drive it if the keys fell
Speaker 2: out of the ignition?
Speaker 3: Or are you with a three hundred ZX?
Speaker 1: It wasn't a ZX it was it was a nineteen
Speaker 1: eighty or maybe even.
Speaker 3: It was a dots Well originally it was made by Dotson. Yeah,
Speaker 3: Dotson's are cool cars. Don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Well, for three hundred dollars, this one was not cool.
Speaker 1: It was not pretty, and it was not great. I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, Okay, Brian, what advice did I just
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Brian, what advice would you give your
Speaker 1: teenage self? I don't know, Like, what do you well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is there something you should have done?
Speaker 3: Gage? Self and me currently are very similar people, Well
Speaker 3: we were forty back then.
Speaker 1: No, actually, like, don't do something like is there something
Speaker 1: you wish you hadn't done in the last few years?
Speaker 3: Honestly, no, I have no regrets.
Speaker 1: I've never done anything bad. I'm only twenty four. I
Speaker 1: have regrets, you will nothing, I would say, don't worry,
Speaker 1: well nothing, I would broadcast coming. There will be lots
Speaker 1: of them before you.
Speaker 3: I have regrets, but nothing i'd broadcast.
Speaker 1: Okay, well that's how.
Speaker 2: We did raise him to be very smart though, so
Speaker 2: he is very smart. Maybe he won't make dumb mistakes.
Speaker 1: Now he'll have regrets. Okay, you pick one, and then
Speaker 1: we pick one and then we're done. Because this is
Speaker 1: this is a torpedo of a show. Yeah it's okay.
Speaker 2: Oh, what's the happiest memory from your childhood? Uh? When
Speaker 2: we would go on family vacasions during where would you go?
Speaker 2: We would go to Washington and Oregon.
Speaker 1: Really we're an Oregon.
Speaker 2: We would go to Portland, and then we went to
Speaker 2: another I don't remember what the city was outside of Portland,
Speaker 2: but we My dad had a friend who had a
Speaker 2: beautiful motor home that was I mean it had like
Speaker 2: the Cebe you know CBE radio and uh huh, it
Speaker 2: was all custom. It was really cool and he would
Speaker 2: let us take that nice up there.
Speaker 1: I always wanted to do you know what I want
Speaker 1: to do?
Speaker 2: Do you what?
Speaker 1: You're not going to want to do this.
Speaker 2: As long as it doesn't involve like sleeping in a
Speaker 2: tent in the woods, get.
Speaker 1: A really fat RV, just like a nice one, brand new,
Speaker 1: drive to Area fifty one.
Speaker 2: The oh god, I would do that with you.
Speaker 1: And see all the fun weird alien like cafes.
Speaker 2: I would do that with you.
Speaker 3: Just sure, No, there's not that much cool stuff out there.
Speaker 3: It's like a cafe.
Speaker 1: I still want to like go and just see. Because
Speaker 1: I'm totally into this right now.
Speaker 2: I would think it would freak.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it may still go with it if anything, if
Speaker 3: anything did happen UFO wise didn't happen to Area fifty.
Speaker 1: One, I beg to differ.
Speaker 3: A lot, no, because we wouldn't know about it. If
Speaker 3: it was really that secret.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into this right now.
Speaker 2: If the Area fifty one they tested, I bet if
Speaker 2: anybody could get herself into Area fifty one, it would
Speaker 2: be you. Anyone could get into Area fifty one, you
Speaker 2: stare arrested pretty quickly.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get into it, but all I'm
Speaker 1: going to say is, listen to a podcast with a
Speaker 1: guy named Bob Blazar. This dude is checks out. He
Speaker 1: does doesn't they erased? Okay, I can't there's no evidence
Speaker 1: they raised his stuff.
Speaker 2: She's good, she's gonna blow her tops.
Speaker 1: The can't.
Speaker 3: There's no evidence they raised any of his stuff. There's
Speaker 3: evidence that never existed.
Speaker 2: Don't make her mad because she might try and anally probust.
Speaker 3: Is not real. He oh, and actually there are records
Speaker 3: of him. He just didn't do very well. He doesn't.
Speaker 3: Just credibility is not with it.
Speaker 2: Brian, you better stop. She's I think she's gonna explode.
Speaker 2: I think she's gonna explode.
Speaker 1: My dream is to do a whole podcast with like
Speaker 1: a retired military person who can give us the four
Speaker 1: one one as much as he can about how real
Speaker 1: UFOs are and how we're being how we're being duped. Okay,
Speaker 1: did you work during college?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Is it your turn? I don't even know, all.
Speaker 3: Right, and we don't need to do anymore. These questions
Speaker 3: are not interested.
Speaker 1: I don't know where my brain went. Eric's on the phone, Eric,
Speaker 1: Eric's answering to XT love your podcast. I know I'm
Speaker 1: won'll be back next week. You guys have problems, will
Speaker 1: be better and we'll play some fun things. And we
Speaker 1: love you and you're our family. And Brian loves his
Speaker 1: new family of listeners. We love you.
Speaker 2: We love you, your little podcast family.
Speaker 1: Thank you for watching and listening. Love your podcast, Love
Speaker 1: your podcast, Love you my sweet babies across the country.
Speaker 3: I love you.
Speaker 1: I love you too.
Speaker 3: Great. Now, since I actually have the end button, I'm
Speaker 3: just going to say a few things real quick. Oh god,
Speaker 3: I do appreciate you listeners, but I respectfully, I just
Speaker 3: I keep you guys at arms distance emotionally. We're acquaintances.
Speaker 3: We're not friends. We're not family. Brian Bleed saying, you
Speaker 3: guys are my favorite. You guys are great acquaintances, which
Speaker 3: who I have never talked to. But I appreciate you listening.
Speaker 3: I enjoy this one sided conversation we have in which
Speaker 3: you don't ever say anything back or introduce yourself. But
Speaker 3: that's okay.
Speaker 2: They do want on on the thing.
Speaker 3: Please don't come to our house, I you know what,
Speaker 3: come to Laura's house, not mine.
Speaker 1: That was nice, and that's kind of how we treats us.
Speaker 2: Well, not how he treats me. Yeah, no, he treats
Speaker 2: me great, I.
Speaker 1: Know, but he keeps me at an arm's length, a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: An air kept dinner like three nights a week.
Speaker 1: If you you better not or me I will be hurt.
Speaker 3: We literally went to Little Italy two nights ago, three
Speaker 3: nights ago. We just went to be you were gone,
Speaker 3: That's why I called you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, full crap.
Speaker 3: And the week before that, I took him to a
Speaker 3: place called Ribader Cheese.
Speaker 2: Oh that was great. I took him to Hooters.
Speaker 3: I wasn't a fan.
Speaker 2: No, he didn't like it.
Speaker 3: Hot wings are not that great, making me upset anyways,
Speaker 3: Love your podcast.
Speaker 1: Save your podcast.
Speaker 2: Wow,