WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.240 --> 00:00:09.880 The Hard Boiled Egg by Ellis Parker Butler. Walking close 2 00:00:10.039 --> 00:00:13.960 along the wall to avoid the creaking floorboards, Philo Gubb, 3 00:00:14.279 --> 00:00:17.559 paper hanger and student of the Rising Sun Detective Agencies 4 00:00:17.600 --> 00:00:21.120 Correspondence School of Detecting, tiptoed to the door of the 5 00:00:21.160 --> 00:00:25.480 bedroom he shared with the mysterious mister Kritz. In appearance, 6 00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:29.120 mister Gubb was tall and gaunt, reminding one of a 7 00:00:29.239 --> 00:00:33.840 modern Don Quixote or a human flamingo. By nature, mister 8 00:00:33.920 --> 00:00:38.159 Gubb was the gentlest and most simple minded of men. Now, 9 00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:41.600 bending his long, angular body almost double, he placed his 10 00:00:41.719 --> 00:00:44.039 eye to a crack in the door panel and stared 11 00:00:44.079 --> 00:00:47.759 into the room within just out of the limited area 12 00:00:47.840 --> 00:00:51.159 of mister Gubb's vision, Roscoe Critz paused in his work 13 00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:55.039 and listened carefully. He heard the sharp whistle of mister 14 00:00:55.079 --> 00:00:57.719 Gubb's breath as it cut against the sharp edge of 15 00:00:57.759 --> 00:00:59.719 the crack in the panel, and he knew he was 16 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:03.039 being spied upon. He placed his chubby hands on his 17 00:01:03.119 --> 00:01:06.400 knees and smiled at the door while a red flush 18 00:01:06.480 --> 00:01:10.359 of triumph spread over his face. Through the crack in 19 00:01:10.400 --> 00:01:12.519 the door, mister Gubb could see the top of the 20 00:01:12.640 --> 00:01:15.680 washstand beside which mister Critz was sitting, But he could 21 00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:19.480 not see mister Critz. As he stared. However, he saw 22 00:01:19.480 --> 00:01:22.359 a plump hand appear and pick up one by one 23 00:01:22.400 --> 00:01:26.879 the articles lying on the washstand. They were first seven 24 00:01:27.000 --> 00:01:31.319 or eight half shells of English walnuts, second a rubber 25 00:01:31.439 --> 00:01:33.920 shoe heel out of which a peace had been cut, 26 00:01:34.760 --> 00:01:37.840 Third a small rubber ball no larger than a pea, 27 00:01:38.760 --> 00:01:42.359 fourth a paper bound book, and lastly a large and 28 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:46.719 glittering brick of yellow gold. As the hand withdrew the 29 00:01:46.760 --> 00:01:49.959 golden brick, mister Gubb pressed his face closer against the 30 00:01:50.000 --> 00:01:52.959 door in his effort to see more, And suddenly the 31 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:56.079 door flew open, and mister Gubb sprawled on his hands 32 00:01:56.079 --> 00:02:00.920 and knees on the worn carpet of the bedroom. Said 33 00:02:00.920 --> 00:02:05.239 mister Krits, there now serves you right. Hope you hurt yourself. 34 00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:11.400 Mister Gubb arose slowly like a giraffe and brushed his knees. Why, 35 00:02:12.000 --> 00:02:16.479 he asked, snoopin and sneakin' like that, said mister Kritz, 36 00:02:16.560 --> 00:02:20.879 crossly scarin meata fits almost? How'd I know who it? Twas? 37 00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:23.560 If you want to come in, why don't you come right? 38 00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:26.599 Instead of snoopin and sneakin an fallin In that way, 39 00:02:27.719 --> 00:02:30.159 as he talked, mister Chrits replaced the shells and the 40 00:02:30.199 --> 00:02:32.919 rubber heel, and the rubber pea and the gold brick 41 00:02:33.000 --> 00:02:36.319 on the washstand. He was a plump little man with 42 00:02:36.439 --> 00:02:40.719 a shiny bald head and a white goatee. As he talked, 43 00:02:40.719 --> 00:02:42.759 he bent his head down so that he might look 44 00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:45.719 above the glasses of his spectacles, and in spite of 45 00:02:45.759 --> 00:02:48.759 his pretended anger, he looked like nothing so much as 46 00:02:48.759 --> 00:02:52.520 a kindly, benevolent old gentleman, the sort of old gentleman 47 00:02:52.599 --> 00:02:55.280 that keeps a small store in a small village and 48 00:02:55.439 --> 00:02:58.800 sells writing paper that smells of soap and candy sticks 49 00:02:58.800 --> 00:03:02.199 out of a glass jawn with a glass cover. How'd 50 00:03:02.280 --> 00:03:05.360 I know but what you was? A detective, he asked 51 00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:10.080 in a gentler tone. I am, said mister Gubb, soberly, 52 00:03:10.120 --> 00:03:13.400 seating himself on one of the two beds. I'm pretty 53 00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:17.120 near a detecative, as you might say, digging it all, 54 00:03:17.240 --> 00:03:19.800 said mister Kritz. Now I got to go hunt another room. 55 00:03:19.840 --> 00:03:24.719 I can't room with no detective. Well, now, mister Kritz, 56 00:03:24.960 --> 00:03:27.680 said mister Gubb, I don't want you should feel that 57 00:03:27.759 --> 00:03:31.680 way know when you're a detective makes me all nervous, 58 00:03:31.840 --> 00:03:34.960 complained mister Kritz. And a man in my business has 59 00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:38.840 to have a steady hand, don't he. You ain't told 60 00:03:38.879 --> 00:03:43.199 me what your business is, said mister Gubb. You needn't 61 00:03:43.199 --> 00:03:45.960 pretend you don't know, said mister Kritz. Any detective that 62 00:03:46.039 --> 00:03:50.479 saw that stuff on the washstand would know. Well, of course, 63 00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:54.439 said mister Gubb. I ain't a full detecative yet. You 64 00:03:54.599 --> 00:03:56.800 can't look for me to guess things as quick as 65 00:03:56.800 --> 00:04:00.520 a full detecative would. Of course, that brick sort of 66 00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:03.919 looks like a gold brick. It is a gold brick, 67 00:04:04.199 --> 00:04:08.680 said mister Kritz. Yes, said mister Gubb. But I don't 68 00:04:08.680 --> 00:04:11.120 mean no offense, mister Kritz. From the way you look, 69 00:04:11.199 --> 00:04:13.840 I sort of thought, well that it was a gold 70 00:04:13.919 --> 00:04:19.240 brick you'd bought. Mister Kritz turned very red. Well, what 71 00:04:19.319 --> 00:04:21.879 if I did buy it? He said? That ain't any 72 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:24.199 reason I can't sell it. Is it just because a 73 00:04:24.240 --> 00:04:26.720 man buys eggs once or twice? Ain't any reason he 74 00:04:26.759 --> 00:04:29.279 shouldn't go into the business of egg selling. Is it 75 00:04:29.879 --> 00:04:32.000 just because I've bought one or two gold bricks in 76 00:04:32.040 --> 00:04:34.800 my day. Ain't any reason I shouldn't go to selling them, 77 00:04:34.959 --> 00:04:39.600 is it. Mister Gubb stared at mister Kritz with unconcealed surprise. 78 00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:44.079 You ain't. You ain't a con man, are you, mister Kritz? 79 00:04:44.680 --> 00:04:48.120 He asked. If I ain't yet, that's no sign I 80 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:52.199 ain't gonna be, said mister Kritz firmly. One man has 81 00:04:52.240 --> 00:04:53.879 as good a right to try his hand at it 82 00:04:53.920 --> 00:04:57.319 as another, especially when a man has had my experience 83 00:04:57.360 --> 00:05:00.399 in it. Mister Gubb, there ain't hardly a con game. 84 00:05:00.439 --> 00:05:03.600 I ain't been conned with. I've been confidenced long enough. 85 00:05:04.040 --> 00:05:07.560 From now on, I'm going to confidence other folks. That's 86 00:05:07.560 --> 00:05:09.680 what I'm going to do. And I won't be bothered 87 00:05:09.680 --> 00:05:12.279 by no detective living in the same room with me. 88 00:05:12.959 --> 00:05:18.319 Detectives and con men don't mix nowadays, no, sir, Well sir, 89 00:05:18.560 --> 00:05:21.279 said mister Gubb. I can see the sense in that, 90 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:24.079 but you don't need to move right away. I don't 91 00:05:24.079 --> 00:05:26.839 aim to start detectin in earnest for a couple of 92 00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:29.560 months yet. I got a couple of jobs of paper 93 00:05:29.600 --> 00:05:32.800 hanging and decoratin' to finish up, and I can't start 94 00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:36.120 in sleuthing until I get my star anyway. And I 95 00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:38.720 don't get my star until I get one more lesson 96 00:05:38.759 --> 00:05:41.560 and learn it and send in the examination paper and 97 00:05:41.759 --> 00:05:45.360 five dollars extra for the diploma. Then I'm going at 98 00:05:45.399 --> 00:05:48.639 it as a regular business. It's a good business. Every 99 00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:52.160 day there's more crooks. Excuse me. I didn't mean to 100 00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:56.360 say that, That's all right, said mister Chritz. Kindly call 101 00:05:56.439 --> 00:05:58.560 a spade a spade. If I ain't a crook yet, 102 00:05:58.600 --> 00:06:02.160 I hope to be soon. I didn't know how you'd 103 00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:07.120 feel about it, explained mister Gubb. Tactfulness is strongly advised 104 00:06:07.120 --> 00:06:10.800 into the lessons of the Rising Sun Detecative Agency Correspondence 105 00:06:10.839 --> 00:06:17.079 School of Detecating. Slocum Ohio asked mister Critz quickly. You 106 00:06:17.319 --> 00:06:21.759 didn't see the ad in the Hearthstone and Farmside, did you, Yes, 107 00:06:22.199 --> 00:06:26.120 slocum Ohio, said mister Gubb. And that is the paper 108 00:06:26.199 --> 00:06:29.959 I saw the ad into a big money in detecating. 109 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:32.759 Be a sleuth. We can make you the equal of 110 00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:38.439 Sherlock Holmes in twelve lessons. Why well, sir, said mister Critz. 111 00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:41.839 That's that's funny. That ad was right atop of the 112 00:06:41.879 --> 00:06:44.759 one I saw, and I studied quite considerable before I 113 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.120 could make up my mind whether twould be best for 114 00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:49.199 me to be a detective and go out and get 115 00:06:49.240 --> 00:06:51.680 square with the fellers that sold me gold bricks and 116 00:06:51.800 --> 00:06:55.079 things by putting them in jail, or to even things 117 00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:58.120 up by sending for this book that was advertised right 118 00:06:58.240 --> 00:07:02.519 under the Rising Sun correspond school. How come I settled 119 00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:04.560 to do as I done was that I had a 120 00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:07.800 sort of stock to start with, with a first class 121 00:07:07.800 --> 00:07:10.680 gold brick and some green goods i'd bought. And this 122 00:07:10.759 --> 00:07:13.560 book only cost a quarter of a dollar, and she's 123 00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:16.279 a hummer for a quarter of a dollar a hummer. 124 00:07:17.240 --> 00:07:19.879 He pulled the paper covered book from his pocket and 125 00:07:19.959 --> 00:07:22.839 handed it to mister Gubb. The title of the book 126 00:07:23.040 --> 00:07:26.839 was The Complete con Man by the King of the Grafters, 127 00:07:27.240 --> 00:07:32.279 price twenty five cents. That there book, said mister Kritz, proudly, 128 00:07:32.360 --> 00:07:35.560 as if he himself had written. It tells everything a 129 00:07:35.639 --> 00:07:38.480 man needs to know to work every con game there is. 130 00:07:39.160 --> 00:07:41.240 Once I get it by hard, I won't be afraid 131 00:07:41.279 --> 00:07:44.439 to try any of them. Of Course, I got to 132 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:47.000 start small. I can't hope to pull off a wire 133 00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:49.560 tapping game right at the start, because that has to 134 00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:52.759 have a gang. You don't know anybody you could recommend 135 00:07:52.800 --> 00:07:57.000 for a gang, do you not? Right off hand, said 136 00:07:57.000 --> 00:08:01.639 mister Gubb thoughtfully. If you wasn't going into the detective business, 137 00:08:01.879 --> 00:08:04.480 said mister Kritz, you'd be just a feller for me. 138 00:08:05.120 --> 00:08:07.360 You look sort of honest and not as if you 139 00:08:07.560 --> 00:08:10.519 was too bright, and that counts a lot even in 140 00:08:10.560 --> 00:08:13.160 this here, simple little shell game. I got to have 141 00:08:13.199 --> 00:08:16.040 a partner. I got to have a partner I can trust, 142 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:18.040 so I can let him look like he was winning 143 00:08:18.120 --> 00:08:21.279 money off of me. You see, he explained, moving to 144 00:08:21.319 --> 00:08:24.600 the washstand. This shell game is easy enough when you 145 00:08:24.759 --> 00:08:28.000 know how. I put three shells down like this on 146 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:30.160 a stand, and I put the little rubber pea on 147 00:08:30.279 --> 00:08:32.759 the stand, and then I take up the three shells 148 00:08:32.840 --> 00:08:35.399 like this, two in one hand and one in the other, 149 00:08:35.879 --> 00:08:38.840 and I wave him around over the p and maybe 150 00:08:38.919 --> 00:08:41.519 push the pe around a little, and I say, come on, 151 00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:44.120 come on, the hand is quicker than the eye. And 152 00:08:44.240 --> 00:08:46.240 all of a sudden, I put the shells down. And 153 00:08:46.279 --> 00:08:48.600 you think the P is under one of them like that. 154 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:52.600 I don't think the P is under one of them, 155 00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:55.440 said mister Gubb. I've seen it roll onto the floor. 156 00:08:56.960 --> 00:08:59.120 It did roll onto the floor at that time, said 157 00:08:59.159 --> 00:09:03.279 mister Critz upontologetically. It most generally does for me. Yet 158 00:09:03.559 --> 00:09:06.679 I ain't got it down to perfection yet. This is 159 00:09:06.759 --> 00:09:10.039 the way it ought to work. Oh pshaw. There she 160 00:09:10.159 --> 00:09:12.799 goes on to the floor again, went under the bed 161 00:09:12.840 --> 00:09:16.320 that time. Here she is now the way she ought 162 00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:20.679 to work is there she goes again. You got to 163 00:09:20.799 --> 00:09:23.000 practice that game a lot before you try it on 164 00:09:23.080 --> 00:09:27.840 folks in public, mister Kritz, said mister Gubb. Seriously, don't 165 00:09:27.840 --> 00:09:31.879 I know that, said mister Kritz, rather impatiently, Same as 166 00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:34.919 you've got to practice snoop And mister Gubb, maybe you 167 00:09:34.960 --> 00:09:37.320 thought I didn't know you was snoopin after me wherever 168 00:09:37.360 --> 00:09:41.320 I went last night? Did you? Asked mister Gubb, with 169 00:09:41.440 --> 00:09:45.440 surprise plainly written on his face. I've seen you every 170 00:09:45.519 --> 00:09:48.919 moment from nine p m. Till eleven, said mister Kritz. 171 00:09:49.360 --> 00:09:52.840 I didn't like it neither. I I didn't think to 172 00:09:52.919 --> 00:09:56.960 annoy you, apologized mister Gubb. I was practicin lesson four. 173 00:09:57.480 --> 00:10:00.799 You wasn't supposed to know I was there at all. Well, 174 00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:03.759 I don't like it, said mister Kritz. Twas all right 175 00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:06.799 last night for I didn't have nothing importint on hand. 176 00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:09.039 But if i'd been workin up a con game, the 177 00:10:09.159 --> 00:10:11.639 feller I was after would have thought it mighty strange 178 00:10:11.679 --> 00:10:14.799 to see a man followin me everywhere like that. If 179 00:10:14.799 --> 00:10:17.919 you went about it quiet and obtrusive, I wouldn't mind. 180 00:10:18.000 --> 00:10:20.360 But if I'd had a customer on hand and he'd 181 00:10:20.399 --> 00:10:23.240 seen you, it would make him nervous. He'd think there 182 00:10:23.360 --> 00:10:27.159 was a a crazy man followin us. I I was 183 00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:31.120 just practicin, apologized mister Gubb. It won't be so bad 184 00:10:31.159 --> 00:10:33.080 when I get the hang of it. We all got 185 00:10:33.120 --> 00:10:37.399 to be beginners sometime, I guess, so, said mister Critz, 186 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:41.679 rearranging the shells and the little rubber pea. Well, I 187 00:10:41.799 --> 00:10:44.120 put the pea down like this, and I dare you 188 00:10:44.200 --> 00:10:46.399 to bet which shell she's going to be under. And 189 00:10:46.559 --> 00:10:49.759 you don't bet, see, So I put the shells down 190 00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:51.919 and you're willing to bet you see me put the 191 00:10:51.960 --> 00:10:55.080 first shell over the pea like this, so you keep 192 00:10:55.120 --> 00:10:57.240 your eye on that shell, and I move the shells 193 00:10:57.279 --> 00:11:03.679 around like this. She's under the same shell, said mister Gubb. Well, 194 00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:08.519 yes she is, said mister Critz placidly. But she hadn't 195 00:11:08.559 --> 00:11:10.960 ought to be by rights, she ought to sort of 196 00:11:11.000 --> 00:11:14.039 ooze out from under whilst I'm moving the shells around, 197 00:11:14.080 --> 00:11:16.759 and i'd ought to catch her in between my fingers 198 00:11:16.759 --> 00:11:19.480 and hold her there so you don't see her. Then 199 00:11:19.519 --> 00:11:21.960 when you say which shell she's under, she ain't under 200 00:11:22.000 --> 00:11:25.360 any shell. She's between my fingers. So when you put 201 00:11:25.399 --> 00:11:27.840 down your money, i'd tell you to pick up that shell, 202 00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:30.600 and there ain't anything under it. And before you can 203 00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:32.960 pick up the other shells, I pick one up and 204 00:11:33.120 --> 00:11:35.320 let the pee fall on the stand like it had 205 00:11:35.360 --> 00:11:38.679 been under that shell all the time. That's the game, 206 00:11:38.799 --> 00:11:40.840 only up to now I ain't got the hang of it. 207 00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:44.240 She won't ooze out from under, and she won't stick 208 00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:47.159 between my fingers, and when she does stick, she won't 209 00:11:47.240 --> 00:11:51.360 drop at the right time. Except for that, you've got 210 00:11:51.360 --> 00:11:55.480 her all right, have you, asked mister Gubb. Except for that, 211 00:11:55.840 --> 00:11:58.799 said mister Kriz. And i'd have that only my fingers 212 00:11:58.840 --> 00:12:02.679 are stubby. What was it you've thought of having me 213 00:12:02.879 --> 00:12:07.480 do if I wasn't a detecative, asked mister Gubb. The 214 00:12:07.519 --> 00:12:10.159 work you'd have to do would be capping work, said 215 00:12:10.200 --> 00:12:14.279 mister Kritz Capper. That's the professional name for it, you'd 216 00:12:14.320 --> 00:12:17.759 guess which shell the ball was under. That would be 217 00:12:17.799 --> 00:12:20.639 easy the way you do it now, said mister Gubb. 218 00:12:21.480 --> 00:12:24.200 I told you I got to learn it better, didn't 219 00:12:24.240 --> 00:12:28.480 I asked mister Critz, impatiently. You'd be capper and you'd 220 00:12:28.519 --> 00:12:31.039 guess which shell the pea was under. No matter which 221 00:12:31.080 --> 00:12:33.600 you guessed, I'd leave it under that one, so you'd win, 222 00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:36.519 and you'd win ten dollars every time you bet, but 223 00:12:36.919 --> 00:12:39.360 not for keeps. That's why I've got to have an 224 00:12:39.399 --> 00:12:43.679 honest capper. I can see that, said mister Gubb. But 225 00:12:43.799 --> 00:12:45.960 what's the use in letting me win it? If I've 226 00:12:46.120 --> 00:12:50.000 got to bring it back? That starts the boob's betting, 227 00:12:50.440 --> 00:12:53.360 said mister Kritz. The boobs see how you look to 228 00:12:53.360 --> 00:12:55.759 be winnin, and they want to win too, but they 229 00:12:55.799 --> 00:13:00.840 don't when they bet I win. That ain't as square game, 230 00:13:01.080 --> 00:13:06.159 said mister Gubb. Seriously, is it? A crook ain't expected 231 00:13:06.159 --> 00:13:09.080 to be square, said mister Kritz. It stands to reason 232 00:13:09.080 --> 00:13:11.279 if a crook wants to be a crook, he's got 233 00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:15.279 to be crooked, ain't he. Yes, of course, said mister Gubb. 234 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:18.519 I hadn't looked at it that way. As far as 235 00:13:18.559 --> 00:13:21.200 I can see, said mister Kritz. The more I know 236 00:13:21.279 --> 00:13:23.879 how a detective acts, the better off I'll be when 237 00:13:23.919 --> 00:13:27.360 I start in doing real business, Ain't that so? I 238 00:13:27.399 --> 00:13:29.639 guess till I get the hang of things better, I'll 239 00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:33.279 stay right here. I'm glad to hear you say so, 240 00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:37.039 mister Kritz, said mister Gubb with relief. I like you, 241 00:13:37.200 --> 00:13:39.679 and I like your looks, and there's no telling who 242 00:13:39.759 --> 00:13:42.559 I might get for a roommate next time. I might 243 00:13:42.600 --> 00:13:46.600 get someone that wasn't honest. So it was agreed, and 244 00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:49.879 mister Kritz stood over the washstand and manipulated the little 245 00:13:49.960 --> 00:13:53.080 rubber p in the three shells, while mister Gubb sat 246 00:13:53.080 --> 00:13:54.960 on the edge of the bed and studied less than 247 00:13:54.960 --> 00:13:59.600 eleven of the Rising Sun Detective Agency's Correspondence School of Detecting. 248 00:14:00.399 --> 00:14:04.080 When presently mister Kritz learned to work the little pea neatly, 249 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:06.840 he urged mister Gubb to take the part of the capper, 250 00:14:07.159 --> 00:14:09.759 and each time mister Gubb won, he gave him a 251 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:13.480 five dollar bill. Then mister Gubb posed as a boob 252 00:14:13.879 --> 00:14:17.120 and mister Critz won all the money back, again, beaming 253 00:14:17.159 --> 00:14:20.440 over his spectacle rims and chuckling again and again, until 254 00:14:20.440 --> 00:14:22.759 he burst into a fit of coughing that made him 255 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:25.519 red in the face, and did not cease until he 256 00:14:25.639 --> 00:14:28.000 had taken a big drink of water out of the 257 00:14:28.360 --> 00:14:32.120 wash pitcher. Never had he seemed more like a kindly 258 00:14:32.159 --> 00:14:36.159 old gentleman from behind the candy counter of a small village. 259 00:14:36.200 --> 00:14:39.759 He hung over the washstand, manipulating the little rubber pea 260 00:14:39.879 --> 00:14:43.759 as if fascinated. Ain't it curious how a feller catches 261 00:14:43.799 --> 00:14:46.240 on to a thing like that all to once? He 262 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:49.159 said after a while. If it hadn't been that I 263 00:14:49.320 --> 00:14:51.679 was so anxious, I might have fooled with that for 264 00:14:51.799 --> 00:14:54.840 weeks and weeks and not got anywhere with it. I 265 00:14:54.960 --> 00:14:57.759 do wish you could be my capper a while anyway, 266 00:14:58.080 --> 00:15:01.480 until I could get one. I need all my time 267 00:15:01.519 --> 00:15:04.799 to study, said mister Gubb. It ain't easy to learn 268 00:15:04.840 --> 00:15:08.960 de ticketing by mail. Pshah, now, said mister Kritz. I'm 269 00:15:08.960 --> 00:15:11.320 real sorry. Maybe if I was to pay you for 270 00:15:11.399 --> 00:15:14.559 your time in trouble, five dollars a night, I'll say. 271 00:15:15.519 --> 00:15:20.240 Mister Gubb consentered. Well, I dunno, he said slowly. I 272 00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:22.759 sort of hate to take money for doin a favor 273 00:15:23.000 --> 00:15:26.840 like that. Now, There ain't no need to feel that way, 274 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:29.799 said mister Kritz. Your time's worth somethin to me. It's 275 00:15:29.840 --> 00:15:31.679 worth a lot to me to get the hang of 276 00:15:31.759 --> 00:15:34.960 this gold brick game. Once I get the hang of it, 277 00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:37.200 it won't be no trouble for me to sell gold 278 00:15:37.279 --> 00:15:39.679 bricks like this one for all the way from a 279 00:15:39.799 --> 00:15:43.679 thousand dollars up. I paid fifteen hundred for this one 280 00:15:43.720 --> 00:15:47.080 myself and got it cheap. That's a good profit for 281 00:15:47.159 --> 00:15:50.039 this brick ain't worth a cent over one hundred dollars. 282 00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:52.120 And I know for I took it to the bank 283 00:15:52.200 --> 00:15:54.399 after I bought it, and that's what they was willing 284 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.320 to pay me for it. So it's easy with a 285 00:15:57.320 --> 00:16:00.000 few dollars for me to have help whilst I'm learning. 286 00:16:00.919 --> 00:16:03.360 I can easily afford to pay you a few dollars 287 00:16:03.399 --> 00:16:07.200 and to pay a friend of yours the same. Well, now, 288 00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:11.039 said mister Gubb. I don't know, but what I might 289 00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:13.759 as well make a little that way as any other 290 00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:18.000 I got a friend. He stopped short. You don't aim 291 00:16:18.080 --> 00:16:21.519 to sell the gold brick to him, do you. Mister 292 00:16:21.600 --> 00:16:26.159 Kritz's eyes opened wide behind their spectacles. Land's sake, No, 293 00:16:26.559 --> 00:16:30.600 he said. Well, I got a friend may be willing 294 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:33.240 to help out, said mister Gubb. What do you have 295 00:16:33.360 --> 00:16:36.919 to do? You were him, said mister Kritz, would be 296 00:16:37.000 --> 00:16:40.039 the come on and pretend to buy the brick, and 297 00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:42.919 you were him, would pretend to help me to sell it. 298 00:16:43.559 --> 00:16:46.399 Maybe you better have the brick because you can look stupid, 299 00:16:46.440 --> 00:16:48.720 and the feller that's got the brick has got to 300 00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:53.759 look that. I can look anyway, almost, said mister Gubb, 301 00:16:53.799 --> 00:16:58.080 with pride. Do tell, said mister Kritz, And so it 302 00:16:58.240 --> 00:17:00.879 was arranged that the first rehearse of the gold brick 303 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:04.319 game should take place the next evening. But as mister 304 00:17:04.400 --> 00:17:07.839 Gubb turned away, mister Kritz deftly slipped something into the 305 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:12.240 student detective's coat pocket. It was toward noon the next 306 00:17:12.319 --> 00:17:15.599 day that mister Kritz, peering over his spectacles and avoiding 307 00:17:15.640 --> 00:17:18.640 as best he could the pails of paste, entered the 308 00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:21.720 parlor of the vacant house where mister Gubb was at work. 309 00:17:22.960 --> 00:17:26.960 I just come around, said mister Critz, rather reluctantly, to say, 310 00:17:27.000 --> 00:17:29.519 you better not say nothing to your friend. I guess 311 00:17:29.599 --> 00:17:34.160 that deals off pshaw. Now, said mister Gubb. You don't 312 00:17:34.200 --> 00:17:37.079 mean so I don't mean nothing in the way of 313 00:17:37.119 --> 00:17:41.160 aspersions you mind, said mister Kritz with reluctance. But I 314 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:43.960 guess we'd better call it off. Of course, so far 315 00:17:44.000 --> 00:17:47.240 as I know you're all right, I don't know what 316 00:17:47.319 --> 00:17:49.759 you're getting at, said mister Gubb. Why why don't you 317 00:17:49.880 --> 00:17:55.240 say it? Well, I've been buncoed so often, said mister Kritz. 318 00:17:55.559 --> 00:17:58.039 Seems like anyone can get money from me anytime, in 319 00:17:58.279 --> 00:18:01.079 any way. And I got to thinking it over. I 320 00:18:01.200 --> 00:18:04.240 don't know anything about you, do I. And here I 321 00:18:04.279 --> 00:18:06.279 am going to give you a gold brick that cost 322 00:18:06.359 --> 00:18:08.640 me fifteen hundred dollars and let you go out and 323 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:12.039 wait until I come for it with your friend. And well, 324 00:18:12.160 --> 00:18:14.559 what's to stop you from just going away with that 325 00:18:14.599 --> 00:18:18.519 brick and never coming back. Mister Gubb looked at mister 326 00:18:18.680 --> 00:18:22.839 Critz blankly. I've went and told my friend. He said, 327 00:18:23.039 --> 00:18:27.119 he's all ready to start in. I hate it to 328 00:18:27.240 --> 00:18:29.559 have to say it, said mister Kritz. But when I 329 00:18:29.640 --> 00:18:31.440 come to count over them bills I lent you to 330 00:18:31.519 --> 00:18:34.119 cap the shell game with. There was a five dollar 331 00:18:34.279 --> 00:18:39.359 one short, I know, said Gubb, turning red. And if 332 00:18:39.400 --> 00:18:41.720 you go over there to my coat you'll find it 333 00:18:41.759 --> 00:18:44.000 in my pocket all ready to hand back to you. 334 00:18:44.640 --> 00:18:46.720 I don't know how I come to keep it in 335 00:18:46.759 --> 00:18:49.720 my pocket. Must have missed it when I handed you 336 00:18:49.799 --> 00:18:53.599 back the rest. Well, I had a notion it was 337 00:18:53.640 --> 00:18:56.440 that way, said mister Critz. Kindly, you look like you 338 00:18:56.599 --> 00:18:59.839 was honest, mister Gubb, But a thousand dollar gold brick 339 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:02.319 at any bank we'll pay one hundred dollars for. I 340 00:19:02.799 --> 00:19:05.519 got to get out of this way of trust in everybody. 341 00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:11.599 Mister Kritz was evidently distressed. If twas anybody else but you, 342 00:19:12.200 --> 00:19:14.720 he said, with an effort, I'd make him put up 343 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:16.720 one hundred dollars to cover the cost of a brick 344 00:19:16.880 --> 00:19:19.960 like that whilst he had it there. I've said it, 345 00:19:20.279 --> 00:19:25.039 and I guess you're mad. I ain't mad, protested mister Gubb. 346 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:28.799 Long as you're gonna pay me in pete and it's business, 347 00:19:28.880 --> 00:19:31.400 I ain't so set against putting up what the brick 348 00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:35.640 is worth. Mister Kritz heaved a deep sigh of relief. 349 00:19:36.640 --> 00:19:39.559 You don't know how good that makes me feel, he said. 350 00:19:39.960 --> 00:19:43.920 I was almost losing what faith in mankind I had left. 351 00:19:44.640 --> 00:19:48.000 Mister Gubb bade his frugal evening meals at the Pie 352 00:19:48.000 --> 00:19:51.920 Wagon on Willow Street, just off Maine, where by day 353 00:19:52.039 --> 00:19:56.079 pie Wagon Pete dispensed light viands, and Pie Wagon Pete 354 00:19:56.160 --> 00:19:59.880 was the friend he had invited to share mister Kritz's generosity. 355 00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:03.319 The seal of secrecy had been put on Pie Wagon 356 00:20:03.400 --> 00:20:06.480 Pete's lips before mister Gubb offered him the opportunity to 357 00:20:06.599 --> 00:20:09.880 accept or decline, And when mister Gubb stopped for his 358 00:20:10.079 --> 00:20:14.119 evening meal, pie Wagon Pete, now off duty, was waiting 359 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:17.519 for him. The story of mister Critz and his amateur 360 00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:21.119 con business had amused Pie Wagon Pete. He could hardly 361 00:20:21.160 --> 00:20:25.319 believe such utter innocence existed. Perhaps he did not believe 362 00:20:25.359 --> 00:20:27.839 it existed, for he had come from the city, and 363 00:20:27.960 --> 00:20:31.319 he had had shady companions before he landed in Riverbank. 364 00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:34.599 He was a sharp eyed, red headed fellow with a 365 00:20:34.799 --> 00:20:38.079 hard fist and a scar across his face. And when 366 00:20:38.079 --> 00:20:41.119 mister Gubb had told him of mister Critz and his affairs, 367 00:20:41.160 --> 00:20:44.519 he had seen an opportunity to shear a country lamb. 368 00:20:45.079 --> 00:20:48.319 How goes it for to night Philo, he asked mister Gubb, 369 00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:51.000 taking the stool next to mister Gubb while the night 370 00:20:51.119 --> 00:20:55.240 man drew a cup of coffee. Quite well, said mister Gubb. 371 00:20:55.599 --> 00:20:59.200 Everything is arranged satisfactory. I'm to be on the old 372 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:01.839 houseboat by the warf House on the levee at nine 373 00:21:01.880 --> 00:21:05.519 with it. He glanced at the nightman's back and lowered 374 00:21:05.519 --> 00:21:10.480 his voice. And mister Kritz will bring you there nine, eh, 375 00:21:10.799 --> 00:21:13.319 said pie Wagon. I meet him at your room, do I? 376 00:21:14.319 --> 00:21:17.720 You meet him at the Riverbank Hotel at eight forty five, 377 00:21:18.160 --> 00:21:21.640 said mister Gubb, like it was the real thing. I'm 378 00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:24.119 going over to my room now and give him the money. 379 00:21:25.160 --> 00:21:29.720 What money, asked pie Wagon. Pete quickly. Well, you see, 380 00:21:29.759 --> 00:21:32.480 said mister Gubb. He sort of hated to trust the 381 00:21:32.960 --> 00:21:36.400 trust it out of his hands without a deposit. It's 382 00:21:36.440 --> 00:21:38.920 the only one he has, so I thought i'd put 383 00:21:38.960 --> 00:21:43.640 up one hundred dollars. He's all right, Oh sure, said 384 00:21:43.680 --> 00:21:47.480 pie Wagon. A hundred dollars eh. He looked at mister Gubb, 385 00:21:47.480 --> 00:21:49.799 who was eating a piece of apple pie hand to 386 00:21:49.920 --> 00:21:53.839 mouth fashion, and studied him in a new light. One 387 00:21:53.920 --> 00:21:58.000 hundred dollars, eh, he repeated thoughtfully. You give him a 388 00:21:58.079 --> 00:22:01.079 hundred dollar deposit now, and he eats you at nine 389 00:22:01.160 --> 00:22:04.000 and me at eight forty five. And the train leaves 390 00:22:04.000 --> 00:22:07.359 for Chicago at eight forty three, half way between the 391 00:22:07.440 --> 00:22:11.680 houseboat and the hotel, Say Gubby, what does this old 392 00:22:11.680 --> 00:22:16.119 guy look like? Mister Gubb, albeit with a tongue unused 393 00:22:16.119 --> 00:22:19.759 to description, delineated mister Kritz as best he could, and 394 00:22:19.880 --> 00:22:24.799 as he proceeded, pie Wagon Pete became interested, pinkish, and 395 00:22:24.960 --> 00:22:28.319 bawled top of his head like a hard boiled egg. 396 00:22:29.119 --> 00:22:32.240 He ain't got a scar across his face, the dickens 397 00:22:32.279 --> 00:22:36.039 he has short and plump and a regular old nice 398 00:22:36.160 --> 00:22:41.039 grandpa blue eyes, say did he have a coffin spell 399 00:22:41.119 --> 00:22:44.559 and choke red in the face. Well, sir, for a 400 00:22:44.599 --> 00:22:49.759 brand new detective, you've done well. Listen, Jim, Gubby's got 401 00:22:49.759 --> 00:22:53.799