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Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's EJ, writer and creator here at Fast

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Food Horror. This week's installment is entitled as Seen on TV.

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In truth, I didn't mean to write what I did.

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I had an idea about a story and about a guy.

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I had an idea where I wanted to go with

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it and how I wanted to end. But when everything

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was finished, I ended up with, well what you're about

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to listen to? Basically my homage to Dante's Inferno. One

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more block, Just one more block, and I'll be home.

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Never thought I'd be thankful to be back in that

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rat trap, to my lousy one room apartment behind sales

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a dive bar if there ever was one, pushing my

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only piece of good luck in the last eight months,

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uphill for nine blocks and out of date projection screen

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TV from the mid eighties, I found abandoned on the curb.

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Abandoned more like left for trash. But as they say,

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one man's trash is another man's treasure. I only hope

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it works. I navigated it down the alley, past the

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ripe dumpsters, towards my apartment's entrance. I had a modern

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TV only a few weeks ago, but had to sell

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it to pay a bookie, Why don't I watch shows

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on my cell phone, you ask, Yeah, my cell phone

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is so basic it doesn't have that feature. I can

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text and make calls, that is when well, when the

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bill has been paid on time. After a few good heaves,

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I had my new treasure into the apartment and plugged

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it in, hoping it had an internal antenna for local

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channels and I could somehow connect my firestick to it

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through whatever I'm a guy or magic I can muster.

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I found the remote control to the TV duct taped

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to the rear of the console. It was one of

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those original ones, so big you had to use two

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hands to hold it, with the words Vincent printed in

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eighties block itallic font across its top. Working my wiring skill,

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I hit the power button on the remote and the

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scream turned electric blue before fading to black, and the

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word Dante in dark red appeared, filling the entire screen.

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I didn't remember a Dante brand in the eighties, but

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that didn't matter much as the menus screen appeared and

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I found three sixteen bit icons an antenna icon I

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presumed for local channels in one box. In the next box,

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I had two empty wires next to a camera and

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what I thought was a VCR and what looked like

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an icon that represented flames in the last box. I

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clicked on the antenna box first. Sure enough I got

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the local channels, plus a few odd PPS ones that

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I would never watch, and three in Espanol. I clicked

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on the second box with the wires and the VCR

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camera icon. Sure enough, there was my firestick, and thanks

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to sales open Wi Fi, I could access them free

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movie apps. My luck was changing. I clicked on the

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third box, the one with the fire icon. Nine boxes

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appeared on the screen, with a number on each one

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through nine. I clicked on one. The screen went black,

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and at first I thought the power went out on

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the old set, But then the light came up on

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the screen slowly, just ever so slightly, to reveal a

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panoramic shot of a dimly lit cavernous room with seemingly

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no end. The camera slowly zoomed closer to reveal countless

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thousands walking aimlessly in the dim light. Closer the camera

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zoomed on the people wandering in the dark. I saw

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their clothes were in tatters, faces gray blue from the dirt,

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and the chill, the colds so obviously in the air

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by the puffs of white on each exhile. Tears streaked

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down their faces, none seeing the other, none aware of

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the other's existence. Their moaning, crying and calls for help

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echoed off unseen walls as they searched aimlessly in the

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darkness for escape. I changed the channel to number two.

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The screen was immediately filled with a sea of waves

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crashing about on a night sky backdrop. Winds howled as

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white cap upon white cap smashed into each other, erupting

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in spray and noise. Caught in the action were people

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floating in the inky, violent waters as far as the

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eye could see, men and women struggling to stay afloat,

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gasping for breath before the next wave crashed. Seconds later,

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I flipped the channel to three. A gray, frigid tundra

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scene filled the screen and slowly panned the dark, gray

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winter sky and snow blowing across the landscape, before stopping

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at a lake. As the camera zoomed in, I could

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see it wasn't water as much as a lake of

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dark brown and black slush, ice and snow floating on

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top the condition of water. Just before freezing, not yet

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solid and still liquid, the slush undulating due to the

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many peoples trying to reach the banks of a lake

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as they struggled, faces blue due to its icy temperatures,

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hair a collection of frost and ice, eyes unblinking, frozen

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open as they tried to make their escape. The camera

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continued panning to the bank of the lake, where a

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gigantic three headed dog of whole black paced along its perimeter,

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and as one of those frozen people crawled out of

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the slush, it grasped their body in one of its

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jaws and threw them back in the lake. What kind

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of sadistic rabbit hole of channels did I find myself?

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I flipped past four than five and on to six.

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I thought the speakers were going to break due to

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the screams that filled the air and the roar of fire.

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The screen was filled with red and yellow hues, and

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I found myself horrified watching people screaming, running frantically about

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a small room that was engulfed in flames. I flipped

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right to nine, and there I was me on the screen,

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sitting there watching the same TV, wearing the clothes I

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am now. It was like having an out of body experience,

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watching myself in a dark void of room. I was

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chained to the chair multiple heavy chains. The me on

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the TV, ME facing the screen. The camera zoomed onto

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the screen. I was watching TV me, and it was

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me on the screen of the TV. I watched as

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ME made those first bets, Me make those next few

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bad bets, me making some other bad bets with the

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wrong kind of people because I had a hot tip

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that the regular sports books wouldn't cover, me dipping into

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my furrow one K to cover those bets, me borrowing

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from my savings the wife would never know. Me then

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using my kid's college fund she could never know, to

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make another bet that could not lose. To cover the money,

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I took out of the four one K and the

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savings and replace the college fund and still have some

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left over so the wife would never know. And well,

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there I was watching myself in the bar, watching the

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team I bet on lose in historic fashion, well at

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least from my perspective. Everyone else knew they were going

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to lose. And I watched my face t V ME

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as I realized I lost the four one K, the

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college fund and savings and might should would have to

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tell my wife. The screen then flashed to the parking

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lot outside the bar, where drunk me was approached by

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two large linebacker types sent by the wrong people I

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bet with to remind me. I owed them a lot

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and so I wouldn't forget. Gave me a reminder that

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would take about six to eight weeks to heal. I

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watched as the TV me chained to the chair flinched

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and cringed and cried out with every punch, every kick,

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and each stomp that they landed to the other me.

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TV me was watching, both reliving the pain and the agony,

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and since I couldn't very well drive a stick shift

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with a broken arm, those two massive walking pieces of

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granite drove away with my beloved nineteen sixty eight Camaro,

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my Rolex, my wedding band, while I laid helplessly on

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the wet pavement in a growing puddle of my own blood.

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The TV then flashed my home the TV chain me

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was watching. I watched as the door to my home

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first open, splintering at the frame, and those very same

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behemoths that beat the snot out of me and broke

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my arm scared the hell out of my wife yelling

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and screaming, telling her why they were there and looking

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for me, before breaking some pictures a chair, flipping a

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dining room table, and shattering her favorite face her grandmother

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gave her before she passed. I could hear my children

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cry somewhere else in the house, I stared as tv

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ME watched, both of us now crying as she checked

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on her phone the accounts, learning the truth of how

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much I was in debt as she cried and then

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cursed me out and later locking me out, locking me

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out of the bank accounts, our home, our kids, and

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the life she and I had built together, then packing

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up and leaving for her mother's five states away. The

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screen continued to flip, showing memory after memory, stumble and

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fall after fall and stumble, losing my job, the bank

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for closing my home, the divorce being finalized, losing custody

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of my kids, not even getting visitation rites since my

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gambling had put the family in obvious danger. Vision after

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vision of my children without me asking for Dad, my

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wife crying herself to sleep, my friends shaking their heads

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in the sadness of it all. My whole world up ended.

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I watched as TV ME shook with heaving cries, and

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after TV me stopped crying and I stopped crying, and

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the other tea was able to stand up from the beating.

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I saw the TV means look up both of them,

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and they both turned to face the unseen camera, so

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that now I was looking at ME and ME was

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looking at I, and the TV means whimpered, make it stop,

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you can still, make it stop, and then echoing from

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the TV on the TV, from the TV, and then

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throughout the room a hideous laughter. H