Speaker 1: Hmm, very short tip meeting, Very short tip meeting. I'll
Speaker 1: talk to you Ian, because I think you're talking to
Speaker 1: walls in another dimension or something. But either way, I
Speaker 1: got to talk to you because I don't trust you. Ian.
Speaker 2: We got to talk about your performance, and you've got
Speaker 2: to tell me what Mercury is like because no human's
Speaker 2: ever been there.
Speaker 1: So we get to Ian and Sandy.
Speaker 2: He's got such a pissy, confused attitude about the whole thing.
Speaker 2: He goes, I'm just going to keep smiling. Don't worry
Speaker 2: about smiling, worry.
Speaker 1: About seeing things that exist.
Speaker 3: Hi.
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to another brand spanking new episode of
Speaker 2: another below Deck podcast.
Speaker 1: My name is Dylan. I'm settled up next to Patrick. Kicky, Patrick,
Speaker 1: come on board, granted.
Speaker 2: Tonight we have an episode that is going to be
Speaker 2: very difficult to break down.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 2: I felt like watching the show this episode was like
Speaker 2: watching Tinker Taylor Soldiers Spy.
Speaker 1: I was like, who is who is manipulating?
Speaker 2: Who? Who is planting evidence against the other? Is anybody
Speaker 2: planting evidence against the other.
Speaker 1: It was the kind of.
Speaker 2: A tale of espionage that kind of imbuse in you
Speaker 2: a sense of paranoia.
Speaker 1: Ah, of course, you're describing the people at odds that
Speaker 1: you're describing our Ellie and cheese.
Speaker 2: Of course this get and cheese. Yes, yeah, biscuit and cheese.
Speaker 2: Very very confusing episode, but lovely. Nonetheless, before we get
Speaker 2: into it, today's episode is brought to you by Tropical
Speaker 2: Smooth Cafe and Magic Mind to unbelievable companies that will
Speaker 2: transport you to happiness in different ways.
Speaker 1: We'll talk about them later on in the show.
Speaker 2: Patreon dot com slash another podcast network for ad free
Speaker 2: episodes and additional content.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you get another podcast show there for five bucks. Also,
Speaker 1: we're going to be moving our coverage of the Bachelorette. Yes,
Speaker 1: I think we're going to do one more free episode
Speaker 1: then that's going to be behind the pay well.
Speaker 2: Yes, and I will in the coming week or so
Speaker 2: drop the completely unedited carry interview at another podcast.
Speaker 1: Cool, even with me pretending to be Captain Lee. Yeah,
Speaker 1: there were a lot of things in the episode that.
Speaker 2: You know, the the the powers, the powers that be
Speaker 2: were we're not too thrilled about. But if you would
Speaker 2: like to see the full unedited version, that'll be a
Speaker 2: patron dot com slash another podcast network probably, Yeah, it'll
Speaker 2: be there, Okay, it'll be there. Okay, So we have
Speaker 2: to get into this episode. Can you hit the timer
Speaker 2: for me, babe? It's just because we're not listen. It's
Speaker 2: Patty's b day. We have a beautiful dinner to go to.
Speaker 2: We're going to rip right through this thing and do
Speaker 2: our best to tell you what happened on this episode
Speaker 2: of Below Deck, pat how many pots would you give in?
Speaker 1: Well? Speaking of the Ellie, and she's got three different names,
Speaker 1: the Balkan Biscuits and Cheese is drama. So let's think
Speaker 1: about this for a second. Yes, okay, because I was like,
Speaker 1: as I'm watching these two go at it and then
Speaker 1: Kermit being kind of like dumbstruck at who to kind
Speaker 1: of in the same place that you are with them?
Speaker 1: All right, So I knew you must be too. Well,
Speaker 1: all right, so let's break down the game film thrown
Speaker 1: into it. Balkan Biscuit can be manipulative. She can stretch
Speaker 1: the truth. We've seen her do this. Can I have
Speaker 1: some hear Seam pelgrenell looks of course. Also, I've noticed
Speaker 1: cheese she can kind of take part in that type
Speaker 1: of behavior as well. One thing that separates the two
Speaker 1: is that cheese is absolutely incompetent.
Speaker 2: So it's just I mean, Ellie's kind of incompetent too,
Speaker 2: you think so, well, I mean that's what's so confusing.
Speaker 2: Where the cabin's not done because she didn't have time
Speaker 2: to do them.
Speaker 1: No, that's her being manipulative, that's what saying.
Speaker 2: So you're kind of like, but is the mahido orange
Speaker 2: because she's being manipulative?
Speaker 1: Mm okay, I hear you. She did fuck up on that.
Speaker 2: Oh maybe it's more I need to add more BOOKCARDI No,
Speaker 2: it's orange. No, it's it's completely It's like handing somebody
Speaker 2: a purple bloody Mary and going, oh, I know what
Speaker 2: the problem is. It needs more vodka. It's like, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: this is it's all wrong. It's a good point. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it's a good point, but I will say this. Let
Speaker 2: me let me throw this out at the audience.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if the ball and don't get me wrong, the
Speaker 1: balk and Biscuit at this point is definitely trying to
Speaker 1: eliminate competition. She's trying to eliminate someone that is not
Speaker 1: helping her at her job. She's absolutely doing that right now.
Speaker 1: But in a different alternate reality, another chief stew comes
Speaker 1: in a third stew that is actually competent and isn't
Speaker 1: going after the same guy that she's going after. Is
Speaker 1: Ellie a completely different person? I say quite possibly? Yes, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so. I think so maybe possibly yes. So
Speaker 1: based on that, we got to get rid of cheese.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, cheese, you gotta go. I mean cheese is
Speaker 1: like was that movie where the guy he's like he
Speaker 1: got hired by the CIA. Are you talking about Tiker
Speaker 1: Taylor soldier spy. No, I'm talking about John Nash, John
Speaker 1: Nash from a Beautiful Mind. You know, he's like looking
Speaker 1: at all the fucking newspapers and he's trying to decode
Speaker 1: it because like spies are trying to connect with one another.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's what she does with those tags on people's pants. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's losing her mind. Yeah, it's not very complicated, and
Speaker 1: it's what happened. You know, it happens to a lot
Speaker 1: of people who are insane. They go insane.
Speaker 2: Bobby Fisher thought that Jews were trying to move his
Speaker 2: chest pieces around, and John Nash started seeing, you know things, So.
Speaker 1: I'm not really.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm not really having patients anymore.
Speaker 1: You because you haven't given your poets. Oh, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I okay, all right. People are losing their minds. People
Speaker 1: are going insane on this boat right now. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: thought it was a good episode. I don't like it
Speaker 1: when they're an hour and fifteen. That's too much below
Speaker 1: deck for my taste. That being said, forty nints.
Speaker 4: Okay, so I think that, Yeah, if it perplexing, narratives
Speaker 4: need to serve a purpose. If we are in a
Speaker 4: film or a story where there is a purpose to
Speaker 4: the confusion, and maybe that was a kind of you know,
Speaker 4: meta device all along and you get it, then that's cool.
Speaker 4: But if a narrative is just confusing for the sake
Speaker 4: of being confusing, then you're like, oh, I have an
Speaker 4: emptiness in me.
Speaker 1: I have a void.
Speaker 2: And that's what transpired in my void tonight when I
Speaker 2: tried to decipher what this drama was all about.
Speaker 1: It kind of took away.
Speaker 2: From the drama to a certain degree, but still a
Speaker 2: very fun episode. Fifty pods.
Speaker 1: You know, I was gonna mention with people losing their minds.
Speaker 1: Another character on this show Ian also losing his mind
Speaker 1: I mean in a major way. Well, he's he's like
Speaker 1: got the opposite of that kid in the movie Sixth Sense.
Speaker 1: He doesn't only not see dead people, he doesn't see
Speaker 1: living people. He doesn't see living people. Yeah, he'd be
Speaker 1: the worst husband in a cockporn. Hey, why aren't you crying?
Speaker 1: That dude's begging your wife over there? He's like, I
Speaker 1: don't see it what you're talking about. No, there is
Speaker 1: literally a guy like begging your wife. You're sitting next
Speaker 1: to him. I don't know what you're talking about. I
Speaker 1: don't see living people anyway. People are losing their minds.
Speaker 2: I mean, I just imagine how much worser of a
Speaker 2: movie that movie would be if Haley Joelosmi is all
Speaker 2: cold and shivering underneath that blanket and he says.
Speaker 1: I don't see living people. Like, what's going on here? Right?
Speaker 2: And there's a new m Night Shamalan, I can't wait.
Speaker 2: Coming out looks pretty good. Yeah, yep, it's about a
Speaker 2: serial killer at a Sabrina Carpenter concert. I think, oh great, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm in let's get into the show.
Speaker 1: Sure.
Speaker 2: So, last we left off, we were heading back to
Speaker 2: the marina and Cheese was soliciting aid in in laundry
Speaker 2: from other sea rats and to cheese. I would say,
Speaker 2: che's laundry is not a multiple sea rat job. Okay,
Speaker 2: it doesn't require the pause and clause of more than
Speaker 2: one sea rat to get the job done.
Speaker 1: So Cheese is a moron.
Speaker 2: We've got some anchor poll stuff. Joe says that being
Speaker 2: lead deckhand doesn't mean that he has to know everything,
Speaker 2: and Nathan can tell him that he's doing things wrong,
Speaker 2: or can teach him about things that he knows nothing about,
Speaker 2: and he can.
Speaker 1: Be a lead deck Let's apply this to another occupation
Speaker 1: I would love to do. So, okay, quarterback, you're a
Speaker 1: certain plastic search. Okay, hey, doc, I can't wait for
Speaker 1: my new face. Well, I'm actually I'm a doctor more
Speaker 1: by title than by skill set. Right then i'd say
Speaker 1: get me out of this chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: And let's use the quarterback analogy. Right.
Speaker 2: So, you have a resume that says that you aren't
Speaker 2: good at this, and some team puts you on the
Speaker 2: field on the grid iron, you throw fifteen interceptions in
Speaker 2: one quarter, and you're concussed numerous times.
Speaker 1: Post game.
Speaker 2: We have a conversation about you remaining in that position,
Speaker 2: because being the leader of the team doesn't mean you
Speaker 2: need to know anything about what you're actually doing, even
Speaker 2: though there are more qualified people to take your position.
Speaker 2: And I know that this is a little long winded,
Speaker 2: but it is patently fun insane that one he's in
Speaker 2: that position, and two he has to fake it to
Speaker 2: make it this hard, because faking it to make it
Speaker 2: is okay when it's done in the shadows you know
Speaker 2: a secret with yourself. But when you're telling everybody that
Speaker 2: you're faking it to make it, that's when it's like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is weird.
Speaker 1: And an added variable you can get people killed.
Speaker 2: So negative on the port guys ian does not see
Speaker 2: living people. There's this issue where he doesn't see people,
Speaker 2: and here's this thing. So Sandy goes, we need the port, guys.
Speaker 2: He goes, there's no port, guys. Now there's a boat
Speaker 2: leaving right next to them. And it's like if you
Speaker 2: see a dorsal fin coming through the water, that's usually
Speaker 2: a strong indication of a shark coming towards you that
Speaker 2: you have to punch super hard on the nose lest
Speaker 2: you have a leg taken off. You don't need to
Speaker 2: actually see the people. If a boat is leave, you
Speaker 2: can assume that they're there. Right, So he's he is
Speaker 2: there's something going on where his brain isn't taking in
Speaker 2: the imagery of the world, or he's stuck between realms.
Speaker 1: I think that's the better answer. The latter, Yeah, because
Speaker 1: I can't figure this character out. So he's also very
Speaker 1: poopy pants about the whole thing. Wake up, poopy pants.
Speaker 1: He has poopy pants. He's not taking ownership.
Speaker 2: Of these so poopy pants about the whole thing. So
Speaker 2: Asha heads down to the laundry room, and we finally
Speaker 2: learned the truth about the dynamic between Cheese and Biscuit
Speaker 2: and the burn book. They're both in their very own
Speaker 2: psych ward on this boat. These two girls are causing
Speaker 2: one another to lose their respective minds. And Cheese does
Speaker 2: confess that she was writing down the crimes of Ellie
Speaker 2: as insurance of any accusations that may be broad.
Speaker 1: She was keeping receipts. She was keeping receipts, which is
Speaker 1: fucking insane. Now, I will say this though, whenever I
Speaker 1: worked for a corporation. Of course, I've been an entrepreneur
Speaker 1: for a number of years. I haven't had work for
Speaker 1: the man, but they would tell me to write down things. Yeah,
Speaker 1: if something was going wrong, memo the file. Write it
Speaker 1: down because if you don't, then we don't have any
Speaker 1: record of it. So she's kind of, you know, doing
Speaker 1: what I guess she's supposed to do. But the bad
Speaker 1: part of it is, why did you put that under
Speaker 1: your bed?
Speaker 2: The memo to the file is a file on your
Speaker 2: computer that you have access to. Maybe the pathways to
Speaker 2: access it are a little buried, right, It's not code
Speaker 2: word c rat.
Speaker 1: It's not on the laundry table. Open open with the
Speaker 1: I'll get this bitch titled on the cover.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Regina George's burn book was at the
Speaker 2: house and they pulled it out when they went over
Speaker 2: to the house. And you know, Amy Poehler said, if
Speaker 2: you guys need a drink, that's fine. And it's one
Speaker 2: of the most perfect movies ever made. And Tim Meadows
Speaker 2: is a very very underappreciated part of that film. He's
Speaker 2: just a masterful comedian, wouldn't you say?
Speaker 1: I think I'm I think he's hilarious.
Speaker 2: So very exciting New Sandy is going to be getting
Speaker 2: married to Leah. And I said that this was going
Speaker 2: to be very boring in the beginning of the season.
Speaker 2: I've turned such a corner on Sandy. I mean, she's awesome.
Speaker 2: I could not be more excited to see this. It
Speaker 2: makes my heart sing and soar for her and Leah.
Speaker 1: I think Sandy's founder stride. If the audience has noticed
Speaker 1: I've warmed to her, she has come around to me.
Speaker 2: She's a better captain now. She's a better captain now,
Speaker 2: so we doc Ian once again excels as the leader
Speaker 2: of this team. It's a complete fucking disaster. She tells
Speaker 2: him to keep the lines out of the water when
Speaker 2: she's moving, and the air bubbles start to scream, indicating
Speaker 2: that the yacht is moving, and I think that Ian,
Speaker 2: almost like a three year old child, just takes the
Speaker 2: lines and throws them into the propeller, off the bout.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on with this dude. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, I was at U in thes a milkshake drinker.
Speaker 1: This guy in the eighth grade in our shop class,
Speaker 1: mister O'Malley, our teacher. He was a nam. He told
Speaker 1: us all, when the you know, the woodshop's going, you know,
Speaker 1: and the blades are flying around, don't put like your
Speaker 1: uh your pendages near any of those goddamn things. He'll
Speaker 1: lose a fucking finger. There was this kid, Steve. He
Speaker 1: when no one was looking, or he thought no one
Speaker 1: was looking, in the blades were spinning around, he'd put
Speaker 1: his fucking finger next to the blades spinning around there,
Speaker 1: and mister O'Malley at some point had to go, hey, shitbird,
Speaker 1: cut it out. He called everybody shipbird. I know where
Speaker 1: it came from. Well, it came from the drill instructors. Well, anyway,
Speaker 1: my point is saying that is some people. It just
Speaker 1: doesn't make any sense. Ian could be trying to get
Speaker 1: everybody killed for all I know, or himself or everyone.
Speaker 2: Vietnam was a just a horrific ruver and ground for
Speaker 2: people like what was his name, mister O'Malley. I mean,
Speaker 2: mister O'Malley came back from that conflict having seen things
Speaker 2: that none of the children would ever lay eyes on,
Speaker 2: and having to relate to them and then teach them
Speaker 2: was possibly insurmountable for him, But he he went about
Speaker 2: it with pride and professionalism, something that Ian does not have.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, boy, don't ever ask a guy from Nam
Speaker 1: if he killed it. I made that mistaken. He punched
Speaker 1: me in the face. Right, we could do that in
Speaker 1: the eighties.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we talked about it last episode. Yeah,
Speaker 2: but yeah, I mean we haven't even discussed you know,
Speaker 2: the chemical horror of agent orange used to slaughter the
Speaker 2: canopies to make visibility increase by I mean tenfold.
Speaker 3: You know what.
Speaker 1: You just got me thinking, this son of a bitch,
Speaker 1: this old bastard. Okay, So at some point he used
Speaker 1: to tell tales of his time and nam and he
Speaker 1: told us about his first day when he got off
Speaker 1: well he got off the chopper, right, he told me
Speaker 1: the first thing that he saw. And I will I
Speaker 1: will spare the audience, but it's pretty horrific when you
Speaker 1: share that kind of stuff and then a thirteen year
Speaker 1: old ask you if you killed anybody? Okay, the incorrect
Speaker 1: reaction is not to punch that person. You're already trying
Speaker 1: to brag about all the weird shit and disgusting and
Speaker 1: horrific shit you saw. I was just you know, asking
Speaker 1: a question.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you were a nom and you're teaching a
Speaker 2: thirteen year old, you don't need to ask him. Have
Speaker 2: you ever seen shin meat slide off a bone? Because
Speaker 2: that's what napalm does to human flesh. You don't need
Speaker 2: to go into the kind of nitty gritty detail about
Speaker 2: that stuff.
Speaker 1: But you know we can understand why you might. Let's
Speaker 1: stop by up about tropical spoochie. Oh yeah, let's get
Speaker 1: out of Nam and let's go sit on the beach somewhere.
Speaker 2: The canopies on the Tropic Tome beach are not being
Speaker 2: blown away by the advanced chemical and ballistic musicians of
Speaker 2: the US military.
Speaker 1: That's right. They are vibrant, lush and speaking to you.
Speaker 1: And there are dolphins there. It's dolphin over there. Now
Speaker 1: he wants some of my tropical smoothie. No, you can't
Speaker 1: have it, mister dolphin. I'm gonna have all my tropical smoothie.
Speaker 1: What kind of thing are you drinking? I'm drinking a
Speaker 1: mango mocktail and it's delicious. So good.
Speaker 2: Sit on a beach, having a kie bowl, be a
Speaker 2: peanut butter nutter, and flip and have an amazing time. Okay,
Speaker 2: they have over fourteen hundred locations. They have an app.
Speaker 2: You can use promo code bad TV in that app
Speaker 2: to get you to a place of bliss. Do you
Speaker 2: want me to keep filibusting? Yeah, So there's mango, there's guava,
Speaker 2: there's peach, there's mint, there's watermelon. All of these flavors
Speaker 2: can be yours with Tropical Smoothie Cafe. And when they
Speaker 2: are yours, you will be on tropic time. And when
Speaker 2: you're on tropic time, you were saying, seagulls are less annoying,
Speaker 2: dolphins are even more magical. Killer whales and sperm whales,
Speaker 2: they actually get along underwater. The power of one drink
Speaker 2: resounds out over the waters and into the coral. It
Speaker 2: is an Uni. I can't do it anymore. I can't
Speaker 2: do it anymore. Ran, I ran out of I ran
Speaker 2: out of gas. I mean, I don't know what you're
Speaker 2: pulling up. I don't know why it's taken so long,
Speaker 2: but you know, I'm I'm done.
Speaker 1: Well it's these goddamn ad based things with that conglomerate YouTube.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, why don't you just say what you Why
Speaker 2: don't you why don't you just say what?
Speaker 1: You were going to play? Just gonna play Flipper. You're
Speaker 1: gonna play flipper.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was, You're gonna Flynn.
Speaker 1: Play flipp You know, I got to get that new
Speaker 1: plan on YouTube where I don't have to Yeah, it's it's.
Speaker 2: Uh, it was all worth it, go to Tropical Smoothie
Speaker 2: one of the other fifteen hundred locations and get the
Speaker 2: app used promo code bad TV.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm furious with you, right, I understand I
Speaker 1: deserve all of it. So yeah, I know what I'll do.
Speaker 1: I'll make you feel better. The guests apart, and then
Speaker 1: Gail flirts with Nathan, and a producer ass Nathan if
Speaker 1: hooking up with a sea rat is dangerous, and he
Speaker 1: says yes, but he likes it. Yeah, you know what
Speaker 1: he wouldn't like a drone over the top of his head.
Speaker 1: Poor son of a bitch is going bald. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's best he doesn't know it. Yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: because I don't think he does. But he's got a
Speaker 1: big little round circle in the crowd of his head.
Speaker 1: You know, have listened to the best of us, it
Speaker 1: really does. You know. My buddy Sebastian, who was featured
Speaker 1: famously in an episode of Kitchen Nightmares with Gordon Ramsey.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the closest Gordon Ramsey ever came to physically fighting
Speaker 2: another human.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Anyway, Sebastian started going bald when he was twenty two.
Speaker 1: It was almost like asking God, why bother you can
Speaker 1: give me hair in the first place if you're going
Speaker 1: to take it away at twenty two.
Speaker 2: Yeah, most of my life, jerk, most of my life
Speaker 2: I'll not have hair, you know. I mean I didn't
Speaker 2: really get hair until I was two or three years old,
Speaker 2: and then little did I know that two short decades
Speaker 2: later you would rip it all off my head and
Speaker 2: then I'd have to go and live out the rest
Speaker 2: of my years without hair. One of those years would
Speaker 2: involve an incident I had with Gordon Ramsey, the g Man,
Speaker 2: wherein I'd be embarrassed on national television about how done
Speaker 2: my restaurant is, and I would move to greener pastures
Speaker 2: of the Tri State area to start a tree trimming
Speaker 2: company because I'm clearly not good at this and that's
Speaker 2: a hard lesson to learn, especially with that hair.
Speaker 1: So I think I'm out.
Speaker 2: I know, Gail calls Nathan a tiny stickhead or something. Oh,
Speaker 2: she says that his penis is small or something like that,
Speaker 2: and then she says yet to be confirmed.
Speaker 1: I am going to give Gail a hard time in
Speaker 1: this episode A little later on, Okay, I am not
Speaker 1: happy with how this was handled. I'm not happy with
Speaker 1: how Kermit handles this, I'll get to them. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: we get to the tip meeting. Very short tip meeting,
Speaker 1: very short tip meeting. I'll talk to you Ian, because
Speaker 1: I think you're talking to walls or something. But either way,
Speaker 1: I got to talk to you because I don't trust you. Ian.
Speaker 2: We got to talk about your performance, and you've got
Speaker 2: to tell me what Mercury is like because no human's
Speaker 2: ever been there.
Speaker 1: So we get to Ian and Sandy.
Speaker 2: He's got such a pissy, confused attitude about the whole thing.
Speaker 2: He goes, I'm just going to keep smiling. Don't worry
Speaker 2: about smiling, worry about seeing things that exist. Do it
Speaker 2: with a frown. Just as long as you're seeing things.
Speaker 2: I mean, let's walk through this. Are we running into
Speaker 2: a rock right now? No, I can't see any rock
Speaker 2: we're going to run into. And then everybody's did it.
Speaker 1: Now, Ian, there actually was a rock there, So you
Speaker 1: kind of messed up? What's going on? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, man, he kind of messed up.
Speaker 1: Okay, Kermit sets up that white party or yeah, meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Joe maybe pursue Oh, I've got a lot of meanwhile,
Speaker 1: so oh, because they're all going out tonight.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Meanwhile, Kermit sets up that white party. Meanwhile, Joe is
Speaker 1: gonna he's gonna choose to hook up with Bulk and Biscuit,
Speaker 1: And meanwhile Gail's boyfriend and his text continue to be ignored. Boy,
Speaker 1: did those two hook up too? Huh A little bit?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, in the back seat of that band man,
Speaker 1: you know, with Cheese later on, get ahead of myself.
Speaker 1: They were so awful to Cheese when she requested a
Speaker 1: do you mind not hooking up with him? In front
Speaker 1: of me? I understand, you guys will hook up, and
Speaker 1: she's like, okay, Like when you think about it, it's
Speaker 1: like it was a foot and a half away from
Speaker 1: her nose.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, So we talked to the bullk and we'll
Speaker 2: get to it later. It's pure fucking psychotic behavior to
Speaker 2: do this as pointedly as it was done.
Speaker 1: Yes, and Joe is uh fucking asshole too. I agree.
Speaker 2: So let's get ready for the night out. The text come,
Speaker 2: do you even love me anymore? From Gail's boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Who she loves.
Speaker 2: Hey, dude, don't send don't send texts like that. It
Speaker 2: makes you look really pathetic.
Speaker 1: It does. But these are the as human beings we have.
Speaker 1: Death throws. Yes, you have to go through this little
Speaker 1: cycle of it's basically throwing a what do you call
Speaker 1: it a hail mary out there? Yeah, yeah, and it usually, uh,
Speaker 1: it does not succeed. But you got to at least
Speaker 1: do it to see if the person cares about you enough. Yes,
Speaker 1: and clearly she did not know. She has quite the
Speaker 1: recovery after that breakup.
Speaker 2: Yeah, spick and span. So we get to dinner, we're
Speaker 2: doing white Ian is asking for milkshakes.
Speaker 1: Ian.
Speaker 2: You know, at this point I was like, you're making
Speaker 2: a thing of it, dude, but and he was making
Speaker 2: a thing of it. You can have a drink, man,
Speaker 2: just don't be weird. Don't be asking for milkshakes. You
Speaker 2: don't need to go out. And I think I applaud
Speaker 2: you for not going out, because when you're some kind
Speaker 2: of bondsmith torn between multiple dimensions you it's not a
Speaker 2: good idea. That's a very very fragile mental state to
Speaker 2: be in. And whatever cosmic shamonic entity spoke to him
Speaker 2: before he embarked on this journey warned him not to
Speaker 2: commit one way or the other. You have to be
Speaker 2: an inter midiary and if you're going out and getting
Speaker 2: fucked up and drinking and waking up at eleven o'clock
Speaker 2: in the morning, heaving like SpongeBob. Without water, you're going
Speaker 2: to lose your mind.
Speaker 1: That's right. So I'd say the only thing he could do,
Speaker 1: because he is stuck between realms, he's in a different
Speaker 1: dimension now, the only thing he could do to help
Speaker 1: himself is to not get so drunk. To add to
Speaker 1: the issues. Yeah, keep these still in another dimension, right,
Speaker 1: but keep the.
Speaker 2: Faculties clean, keep the cogs spinning less our entire universe collapse.
Speaker 2: I mean, can you imagine the fact that this is
Speaker 2: the guy who's getting drawn and quartered by multiple dimensions
Speaker 2: and we have to depend on him to keep our
Speaker 2: universe intact?
Speaker 1: I mean, are we doing too much on this? But
Speaker 1: I'm scared I am too. Yeah, he's no Iron Man, No,
Speaker 1: but hey, let me I know the episode was probably
Speaker 1: filmed like a year ago, but I'd like to jump
Speaker 1: here and help Cheese out with this whole being out
Speaker 1: maneuvered by the Balkan Biscuit. Yeah, okay, so Joe becomes
Speaker 1: pretty titillated by the Balkan Biscuit's ig account. I guess
Speaker 1: a lot of guys are hitting her DMS. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a titillating Instagram account. Yeah, we've followed it for a while.
Speaker 1: But Sheese initially just tries to infiltrate the conversation. But
Speaker 1: that doesn't go well because you know, Joe's looking at
Speaker 1: her Instagram account, right, So this is what I and
Speaker 1: she's being out flanks, Cheese. This is what your best
Speaker 1: move should have been. You should have told the Balkan
Speaker 1: Biscuit that a Playboy talent scout was sitting at the bar,
Speaker 1: which would have led her to go try and put
Speaker 1: on that ridiculous playboy suit that she has. Yeah, next
Speaker 1: thing you know, it's ninety four minutes later, she's only
Speaker 1: got one goddamn boot on. Yeah, you're already out of there, Cheeze,
Speaker 1: you'd win. I love that idea. I absolutely love that idea.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 2: All right, So Joe and Ellie are hitting it off.
Speaker 2: Cheese is rightly doing everything she can to dissuade this.
Speaker 2: Maybe not rightly, I mean, I don't know the concern
Speaker 2: the stakes of these two hooking up with one, he
Speaker 2: read is nauseating.
Speaker 1: I mean, this is like something that.
Speaker 2: Indiana Jones would put his life on the line to
Speaker 2: get and it's just hooking up with Joe.
Speaker 1: That's right. I will say this though, to the Balkan Biscuit.
Speaker 1: She seems like a very competitive person. To me, she
Speaker 1: must win at all costs, at all costs. So we
Speaker 1: get some more texts. Boyfriend's very sad boyfriend who Gail loves,
Speaker 1: very sad. He says, you don't say that I love
Speaker 1: you anymore, and we should just call it. And this
Speaker 1: is quite brilliant from Gail. You wear down and you
Speaker 1: make the other person break up. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying she's doing that, but if she was
Speaker 2: doing that, it worked flawlessly.
Speaker 1: Yeah. All right, can I break down the game film
Speaker 1: on all courts? Okay? So Gail gets the breakup text
Speaker 1: and of course she's overwhelmed and sad. So she gets
Speaker 1: up from the table and walks away, and then Kermit
Speaker 1: follows her. Okay, Now Kermit and Gail chat and I
Speaker 1: want Kermit to stay out of the relationship advice business
Speaker 1: because she's not good at it. Kermit sends Valentine Valentine
Speaker 1: Day cards with pictures of her fece he said it. Okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear from her. Yeah, she has
Speaker 1: different relationship than these other sea runs.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like me giving dating advice. You know, I've
Speaker 2: been with one woman for fifteen years.
Speaker 1: Well, Kermit says that it's her boyfriend's fault for wanting
Speaker 1: her to work on the boat where she was miserable.
Speaker 1: He was a jerk for that, And I just think
Speaker 1: that's the wrong advice because Gail has clearly been gaslighting
Speaker 1: this poor sap. Sure she's wanted to be with Nathan.
Speaker 1: The correct advice is, hey, look, you're in your twenties,
Speaker 1: have fun, be free. It's nothing against this guy. But
Speaker 1: you're saying, don't turn the man into a villain. He's
Speaker 1: turning him into a villain. That's the wrong thing to do. Gail,
Speaker 1: you've been making out with Nathan like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: You're cheating on your boyfriend, right right, he's clearly feeling
Speaker 1: that you were putting distance between him. You're gas lighting
Speaker 1: him by not you're not being honest, fucking bone up? Yeah,
Speaker 1: not up, or shut up up with his sad ass.
Speaker 1: And then again, chalk it up to I'm in my twenties,
Speaker 1: I'd like to have fun, Kermit, you were out of
Speaker 1: your skews on this.
Speaker 2: I'm in my twenties. I'm also Sira. I'm on a
Speaker 2: boat so far away. Not a big deal. That's it,
Speaker 2: not big deal. So Nathan, we could call it mister
Speaker 2: green Light. At this point, I think Ian heads back
Speaker 2: to the boat. Very good for him. He's seeing ghosts
Speaker 2: and blacking out is not going to help. We get
Speaker 2: to dancing, and Ellie and Joe get wide into it.
Speaker 1: The kids say they turn it up.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they were completely cranked, and they do it
Speaker 2: not only in front of Cheese but then in the
Speaker 2: back seat. And Cheese is very very hurt by this,
Speaker 2: I would say to Okay, so Ellie is very very
Speaker 2: kind of transfixed by this hierarchical structure on the boat.
Speaker 2: Puts a lot of import on the fact that she's
Speaker 2: the second. Still part of leadership is not being seventh
Speaker 2: grade Cattie vengeful, and that's aff. Okay, let's talk about
Speaker 2: you guys really actually having feelings for somebody who isn't
Speaker 2: a sea rat, who could make your life, you know,
Speaker 2: a lot better. Even then, you still have the responsibility
Speaker 2: to not turn that into a contest. This is juicy
Speaker 2: Rat's hooking up with Joe, and like I said, I mean,
Speaker 2: this is the most important thing in the world to
Speaker 2: the two of them right nowadays. I mean, it's just crazy.
Speaker 2: But the onus is on Ellie to not do this.
Speaker 2: She's the older one and she's the one who's in
Speaker 2: a leadership position.
Speaker 1: So true, it's a great point. She likes to brag
Speaker 1: that she's outranking her. Yeah, so we get to the
Speaker 1: next day.
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Speaker 2: next day, in a shocking cheese in a very measured way,
Speaker 2: goes up to bulk and biscuit and says, can you
Speaker 2: please not do that anymore. Now, that very fragile cap
Speaker 2: would be completely blown off in the coming sequence of events.
Speaker 2: But it started, well, we have to get to the
Speaker 2: charter five, a preference sheet meeting.
Speaker 1: It's not a lot here, Colline Otaro, Yeah, a lot
Speaker 1: of food restrictions, a lot of food restrict Jonah was
Speaker 1: ready to pull this off. You know, I got to
Speaker 1: give it to this guy. He was on his way out.
Speaker 2: Still here in a major way I mean is Jonah
Speaker 2: has slotted himself into the perfect kind of sea rat archetype.
Speaker 2: They're important, not ever present. When he is present, he
Speaker 2: increases the spirits of the sea rats around him. He's
Speaker 2: really come into his own this Jana and I would
Speaker 2: say that he is here for good.
Speaker 1: I agree with you. We're going to have the Goddess party.
Speaker 1: We'll have the pajama pajama party. Following that pajama party.
Speaker 2: That's a lot of no's what we're gonna what we're
Speaker 2: gonna see, you know, all this no fish, no eggs,
Speaker 2: hates veggies. We're gonna we're gonna see if all this
Speaker 2: gilded talk of John O will ring true next episode.
Speaker 2: But Gail up next She's confused why her boyfriend isn't
Speaker 2: supporting her like Nate is.
Speaker 1: Gail, this is maybe don't muddy the waters with hooking
Speaker 1: up with your coworker.
Speaker 2: Well, and also, Gail, this is you know, this is
Speaker 2: your rett love, this is being in your twenties. Maybe
Speaker 2: this is being kind of I don't I don't know,
Speaker 2: having a misunderstanding of the language of men. Nate does
Speaker 2: not support you, and trying to have sex, trying to
Speaker 2: fuck you so well, that could be a confusing mask
Speaker 2: to have to peel off. And you don't want to
Speaker 2: live your life cynical and paranoid, but you do have
Speaker 2: to know that.
Speaker 1: A large aware of the obvious, a large part of
Speaker 1: Nate's drive is to fuck you.
Speaker 2: So Yeah, she talks to her boyfriend, uh, and I'm
Speaker 2: not sure.
Speaker 1: If she plays the game blame game for a minute. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then it kinda I don't know, seems like they
Speaker 1: part ways respectfully, respectfully. You know, they'll by the way,
Speaker 1: we will hear probably. I guess they don't do reunions anymore.
Speaker 1: Those two will be they're not done having sex. They'll
Speaker 1: they'll meet up. Yeah, they'll meet up again.
Speaker 2: I've been done before like that. Sex is amazing so
Speaker 2: laundry again. Sandy speaks on investing in Brie and we
Speaker 2: take a look at cbgb uh Sandy back in the day,
Speaker 2: who uh you know was bet on by people? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: so good on Asia. She, upon speaking with Sandy about
Speaker 2: how horrible Cheese is, goes down and says what needs
Speaker 2: to be said, You're going to be fired if this
Speaker 2: keeps happy.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I have a problem with this because she
Speaker 1: did it in front of her coworker, the Balkan Biscuit. Yes,
Speaker 1: a balk And biscuit was making a bed right next
Speaker 1: to Cheese. Very unprofessional. Texting a pick of your duchie
Speaker 1: would have been less unprofessional. Cart karmit, get it together,
Speaker 1: all right.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I maybe I pulled a knee
Speaker 2: in and did not see that correctly. Okay, So Ellie
Speaker 2: and Cheese are both committing psychological war crimes against one another.
Speaker 1: We know that Ellie realizes that she's losing the court
Speaker 1: of public opinion on this, so she arrives at this
Speaker 1: tactic that she needs to start making it known that
Speaker 1: she's is an inept idiot to the rest of the
Speaker 1: sea rats. She is stooping two levels that are beneath
Speaker 1: her station and really beneath humanity. I would say I
Speaker 1: agree with that. So this warfare is very real. We
Speaker 1: realize that Ellie wrote Johano on Joe's pants. These little
Speaker 1: I mean, this is where I'm Tinker Taylor soldier spy.
Speaker 2: I don't know what's going on, Who to trust, who
Speaker 2: to not trust?
Speaker 1: Is it completely on cheese? I don't think so. I
Speaker 1: think Ellie's going in there, and I think that she's
Speaker 1: fucking shit up. You know, Balkan biscuits a survivalist, given
Speaker 1: her you know, her past, got to find a way
Speaker 1: to survive. Sometimes that means destroying people that are in
Speaker 1: your way. Well, you know, the whole thing really reeks
Speaker 1: of you know.
Speaker 2: So we've got an Eastern Block spy right in the
Speaker 2: Balkan history, and we've got a child of State Department
Speaker 2: fed in cheese. Now, these two are in a heating
Speaker 2: up cold war with one another, and there have been
Speaker 2: acts of deception and manipulation all throughout.
Speaker 1: I mean, you look.
Speaker 2: At what happened during the Cold War, and I say
Speaker 2: that Ian maybe is our McCarthy, right. I mean, he's
Speaker 2: just completely lost his mind in this whole battle and
Speaker 2: he's not seeing things, so it's really fucking crazy.
Speaker 1: Actually, you know, I will say this too anybody else
Speaker 1: that has a podcast that recaps full of deck, I
Speaker 1: don't think you're there. You're gonna hear them tie the
Speaker 1: things that are happening with this show, with the McCarthy hearings.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and and and maybe it's good that you listen
Speaker 2: to a different one, because that doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2: So the guests arrived, Gail says, I think that this
Speaker 2: is going to be a loud charter. Oh Jesus, hey,
Speaker 2: hey Codd, Hey Gail. No, I know that you just
Speaker 2: meant that they were screaming when they were there, But
Speaker 2: don't say that. All right, So we make some mahitos.
Speaker 2: They don't taste right, they're also orange.
Speaker 1: We spoke on this.
Speaker 2: Mohitos do not look like tang That's right, they don't.
Speaker 2: They look like the muddled mint and lime and clear
Speaker 2: rum that you put upon upon ice. I think that's
Speaker 2: what a mohito is. I don't really have you ever heard.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever ordered a mojito in my life.
Speaker 1: I do it all the time. Really, wow, yeah? Is
Speaker 1: it good?
Speaker 2: I love it so we depart, we go shopping Asia
Speaker 2: with the Let's Go Shopping song, absolutely incredible, cheers Cheese
Speaker 2: hears voices of criticism in her head, and she's going
Speaker 2: through internal battles.
Speaker 1: You're a fuck up. Yeah, you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 1: I wish you didn't tell that guy you'd suck his
Speaker 1: dick on TV. It's your dad. Yeah, crazy, um.
Speaker 2: And you know the State Department has technology like that,
Speaker 2: And I mean everybody knows that project Maga says MK Ultra.
Speaker 1: Maybe you listen to a different show. I don't know. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So so Captain Sandy walks in and she sees that
Speaker 2: she's is struggling, and she says that she's having a
Speaker 2: difficult time with Ellie. Now, this is what drives me nuts.
Speaker 2: And this is maybe the mac of Elli and shit
Speaker 2: that we don't see.
Speaker 1: I think I know what you're gonna say. You think
Speaker 1: that Cheese is going to Sandy to basically give her resignation.
Speaker 1: But she is not, because she's not a quitter, she's
Speaker 1: just a complainer.
Speaker 2: No, she's going to Sandy to make sure that Ellie
Speaker 2: gets fired. That's right, which I don't feel very good about.
Speaker 2: I think that that's really kind of disgusting meek behavior.
Speaker 2: And and I mean, these people are not grown ups,
Speaker 2: they's sea rats.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So it's confusing though, because Ellie is tormenting Cheese, and
Speaker 2: I don't think that that's I do think that that's
Speaker 2: kind of a fireable offence. I do think that what
Speaker 2: Ellie has been doing to Cheese is a fireable offence.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, when you have someone who's
Speaker 1: absolutely that there's incompetent Dylan and I know that Sandy
Speaker 1: made the case that this is an entry level position. However,
Speaker 1: she's fucking with the.
Speaker 2: You know what, you said that the Balkan Biscuit might
Speaker 2: be a better version of herself if Cheese was not there,
Speaker 2: That might be true. I also, by the same token,
Speaker 2: do not think that Cheese would be much better at
Speaker 2: her job. She would be the same person. No, that's
Speaker 2: that those two don't mean the same thing. Ellie would
Speaker 2: possibly improve if Cheese wasn't there, Cheese would not improve.
Speaker 1: That's right. So she's the one that needs to get
Speaker 1: fired either or both. I think both is probably the answer.
Speaker 1: But we're mid charter, so I think it was last
Speaker 1: season that Alyssa and Millie ilicit were fired, staggered firing,
Speaker 1: staggered firing. The better move would have been to just
Speaker 1: do a first time in below deck history, fucking you're
Speaker 1: both fired, Yeah, fucking you're both fired. Yeah. I think
Speaker 1: we may see that.
Speaker 2: I would be all hands, get some new blood in here.
Speaker 2: So Asha talks with Gail to about two different walks
Speaker 2: of life, and then we get back to Ellie and Cheese.
Speaker 2: Now Ellie is proved to be wanting. The cabins are
Speaker 2: not done, and they seem to be not done on purpose.
Speaker 2: M I'm starting to maybe believe that at this point,
Speaker 2: I'm pretty convinced that Ellie is doing things on purpose
Speaker 2: to fuck with Cheese.
Speaker 1: If I didn't hear Kermit say, why didn't she do
Speaker 1: those cabins, you could have definitely set up the table
Speaker 1: and then also had those cabins done. Karmit's been in
Speaker 1: the biz for a while. She knows she can call it.
Speaker 1: Call bullshit Ellie ball, sorry we call him to call
Speaker 1: her two names, balk and biscuit. This was definitely sabotage. Well,
Speaker 1: and you can tell that it's sabotage.
Speaker 2: You don't need to have a long running career as
Speaker 2: a sea route to see. When Asha walks up to
Speaker 2: balk and Biscuit and she says, she begins the inquiry
Speaker 2: that Biscuit knows is coming. Biscuit says, I have been
Speaker 2: working or something like that. It's this defensive, straight out
Speaker 2: of the gate. I've been working, very generic answer. If
Speaker 2: somebody begins the line of questioning with that, you've got
Speaker 2: your man. You got it, You've got your man. Yes,
Speaker 2: he definitely killed those two people over on Broadway.
Speaker 1: And also, balk and Biscuit, you're a way better liar
Speaker 1: than this. You should have said the bottles all fell
Speaker 1: down at the bar. It took me an hour, Like
Speaker 1: you have another story, Like you're a horrible liar. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So Cheese flips out and says numerous times to Ellie,
Speaker 2: leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone, which
Speaker 2: Ellie does not do. She continues to antagonize her. She
Speaker 2: grabs her at one point and says, look at me,
Speaker 2: and stop doing.
Speaker 1: What you're doing. I outrank youh fired, fired, fired fired.
Speaker 1: She's asked you to leave her alone.
Speaker 2: Okay, you were making out with and rubbing the cock
Speaker 2: of the person that she's into right in her face,
Speaker 2: and now you're not doing cabins on purpose to sabotage her.
Speaker 1: She's asked you to leave her.
Speaker 2: Alone, and you're following her around and screaming at her.
Speaker 2: What kind of insane behavior is that? Yes, we got
Speaker 2: to call balls and strikes. We left the ball can biscuit. Okay,
Speaker 2: she's more than her work on this show, but this
Speaker 2: is not good fire ball fance. So Ellie isn't tears
Speaker 2: and Sandy gives her a really good piece of advice,
Speaker 2: pull yourself together.
Speaker 1: Oh I love that. Amazing. Hey, hey, pull yourself together.
Speaker 1: Oh good, you're pulling yourself together. That's good.
Speaker 2: He's like it's okay, I'm fine, and Sandy's like, yeah, good,
Speaker 2: pull yourself together now.
Speaker 1: Also a fireable offense. You're freaking out on the deck.
Speaker 1: The guests are returned, the paying guests are returning, and
Speaker 1: you just handled handed me a pile of towels to
Speaker 1: give the guests. I know you're fucking fired. Sandy fired
Speaker 1: Alyssa last season for calling her Sandy. Yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2: So we've got three sides to the story. Sandy tells
Speaker 2: Asha that she's got to figure out both sides and
Speaker 2: the truth.
Speaker 1: Very difficult thing. To do.
Speaker 2: Ashia says, gets back and says, she tells Sandy this
Speaker 2: is the hardest thing that she's ever had to manage
Speaker 2: because she just has no idea who's telling the truth.
Speaker 1: And this is, you know, this is where we talked
Speaker 1: about earlier.
Speaker 2: There are these two people trafficking in a cold war
Speaker 2: with one another and it's very, very difficult to discern.
Speaker 2: So Asia asks Elly what happened? Ellie says, I was
Speaker 2: working the whole time, Like we mentioned, somebody starts with that.
Speaker 2: It's not good, and Ellie and Balk and Biscuit are
Speaker 2: dragged up to the crow's nest to speak with Sandy.
Speaker 1: We get a TVC card.
Speaker 2: But this the beginning of this conversation does not go well.
Speaker 2: I think Cheese gets fired, really I do.
Speaker 1: They didn't give us a preview for next week's episode,
Speaker 1: and Cheese is just making some major mis calculations here.
Speaker 1: I think that Cheese may have you remember the old.
Speaker 2: Saloons where people used to play poker and shoot each
Speaker 2: other and stuff like that. If we put, you know,
Speaker 2: if we kind of equated to that, right, Cheese lays
Speaker 2: all her cards down on the table.
Speaker 1: It's quite brilliant. She says, fire us. Both. Cheese is
Speaker 1: so filled with hatred for.
Speaker 2: Biscuit at this point that she is fine with being
Speaker 2: fired if it means that both go down. Balkan is
Speaker 2: dragged to Davy Jones with her. We'll see what happens
Speaker 2: next week. Five Stars Kind Words. Join us to Patreon
Speaker 2: dot com Slash another podcast network for more aps, bmz
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Speaker 1: We love you. We'll see you next week. I'm doing
Speaker 1: saying goodbye, pat Say goodbye later do