Speaker 1: The Damon Runyan Theater. Once again, The Damon Runy in
Speaker 1: Theater brings you another story by the master storyteller, Damon Runyan,
Speaker 1: and this one cemetery Bate, and you tell it to
Speaker 1: you here is Broadway.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 3: One day I get a call to go to the
Speaker 3: State Penitentiary. I go there because a character by the
Speaker 3: name of Gentleman George sends for me. Now, being in
Speaker 3: such a place as no novelty but Georgie and ordinarily
Speaker 3: will cause him no confusion. The trouble this time is
Speaker 3: that he is in what is called the death house.
Speaker 3: It seems that he has allowed visitors. And I am
Speaker 3: more than somewhat curious why he sends for me. So I,
Speaker 3: overcome my natural repugnance at such institutions, go to see him.
Speaker 3: And he tells me a very strange story.
Speaker 4: Indeed, among which I will tell you in a minute.
Speaker 1: And now back to the Damon Runy in Theater and
Speaker 1: the famous story cemetery Bait.
Speaker 3: Like I say, I find myself at the State Penitentiary,
Speaker 3: I also find myself sitting in the cell with gentlemen
Speaker 3: Joy and he says, as funds, it is very.
Speaker 2: Nice of you to come Broadway. Maybe you wish to
Speaker 2: know why I get you up here? I am curious. Yes, Well,
Speaker 2: as you know, tomorrow I am to be placed in
Speaker 2: mister Edison's rocking chair and giving a severe shock in
Speaker 2: the seat of my britches.
Speaker 1: Here, dad, yea.
Speaker 2: So I wish to tell you a story because you
Speaker 2: are a good guy, and you will let it be
Speaker 2: known that I perform a great public service. You do, Georgie,
Speaker 2: I do. I wish all citizens to be more kindly
Speaker 2: disposed toward me, So I will tell you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, please make it short, George, I am getting
Speaker 3: a severe case of feeling cooped up.
Speaker 2: Sure. Well, it is in the summer of last year
Speaker 2: that Lou Adolia comes to me. You remember Lou.
Speaker 3: Oh, sure, he is a hot citizen who cases joints
Speaker 3: for diamonds and such.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then he gets another citizen to knock over
Speaker 2: the joint. Well, like I say, Lou comes to me
Speaker 2: last summer and he puts a proposition to me which
Speaker 2: reads like.
Speaker 5: This, Georgie, I think I got a great job for you.
Speaker 5: Only you'll have to go to Miami, Florida and knock
Speaker 5: it over.
Speaker 2: Okay, Lou, I do not mind traveling what is the layoff?
Speaker 5: Well, here is a certain dull married to a guy.
Speaker 2: Well, next I do not knock over guy so that
Speaker 2: dolls can have good time.
Speaker 6: Not then like that, she's got a bark full of
Speaker 6: rock that will bring maybe eighty grand?
Speaker 2: Go on, loo? What else? Will I figure?
Speaker 6: A good box man like you can saw through and
Speaker 6: pick off the stuff?
Speaker 2: You got a place to unloaded? Sure? Sure don't I always? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: give me the rest of the setup.
Speaker 6: Well we'll go to Miami. I'll do another case job
Speaker 6: when I lay out, and you can work your way
Speaker 6: through from there. It'll be a lead pipe.
Speaker 2: Session so Broadway. It is not more than a week
Speaker 2: later that I find myself on a train going to Miami, Florida.
Speaker 2: The way Lou talks, it looks like I am going
Speaker 2: for a sense job. Then it comes up one night
Speaker 2: on the train and I am as sick as a
Speaker 2: puppet because I eat fish, which I can never stand.
Speaker 2: I am on my bed when I hear a knock
Speaker 2: on my door. Oh who is it?
Speaker 3: What's the matter in there?
Speaker 2: I am about to become a corpse. Go away. Let me.
Speaker 3: Come on, come on, come on, maybe I can help you.
Speaker 2: Okay, just a second. All right, lie down again. I
Speaker 2: am sick. I am so sick.
Speaker 1: So I see by the color of your face.
Speaker 2: I didn't think you were born green. Where does it hurt? Stomach?
Speaker 2: Domain poisoning?
Speaker 5: I saw you eating fish in the dining car.
Speaker 2: I will die before my time.
Speaker 3: Nonsense, No one ever does that.
Speaker 5: Besides, you might be better off if you did not.
Speaker 2: Enough people know when to die. Please you say you
Speaker 2: will help me. I will.
Speaker 3: I'll never get any seat next door with you groaning
Speaker 3: and grunting all night.
Speaker 1: Porter, Porter, come.
Speaker 2: In here, will you? What are you going to do
Speaker 2: with him? Send for some medicine you call me, sir.
Speaker 1: Yes, go to the dining car and get.
Speaker 2: Some hot water.
Speaker 1: Also bring back some soda box falland hurry.
Speaker 2: Yes, sir, right away, Sir? Do I get anything to
Speaker 2: go with the soda? Shut up and lie still. Look, mister,
Speaker 2: why do you do this for me? If You've got
Speaker 2: any stupid notion that I'm doing it as a good Samaritan,
Speaker 2: forget it. I merely want to get some sleep tonight.
Speaker 2: Well Broadway, the old guy who was maybe pushing on
Speaker 2: sixty or thereabouts does good for me. In maybe an hour,
Speaker 2: I am feeling better and dropped to sleep. Then in
Speaker 2: the morning I wake up and the train is in Miami.
Speaker 2: I get out on the platform and I see the
Speaker 2: old guy. He looks at me and says, feeling better?
Speaker 2: Oh sure, sure lots. In fact, I am a well man,
Speaker 2: and I wish to thank you.
Speaker 3: Don't just remember that you're unable to eat fish, you're
Speaker 3: allergic to it.
Speaker 2: Oh but look, mister, I wish by and keep away
Speaker 2: from fit.
Speaker 1: Hey.
Speaker 5: Wait, hey, hey, Georgie.
Speaker 2: Oh hi you look yeah, say see that old guy
Speaker 2: getting in a car?
Speaker 5: Heah, what about him?
Speaker 2: Who is he? Oh?
Speaker 6: I don't know. I didn't see enough of them. Now, look,
Speaker 6: you bring your tools. Sure, but I sure wish I
Speaker 6: know who that old citizen is. He saves my life
Speaker 6: last night. And so few people are good to me
Speaker 6: that I wish to cherish the name of one who
Speaker 6: wish Okay, okay, save the lady. I got that deal
Speaker 6: lined up.
Speaker 2: How does it look?
Speaker 5: All great?
Speaker 2: We're your bags platform. Where do we go? Now?
Speaker 5: You better check in the hotel. Don't use your right name.
Speaker 2: You'll know me better than that, lou. It is just
Speaker 2: a question of picking the one I like best.
Speaker 6: Okay, let's get moving. We got just two days to
Speaker 6: pull this job and move.
Speaker 2: Out hot huh plenty.
Speaker 5: Your cut will be ten geez.
Speaker 2: My cut will be fifteen geese, or you will get
Speaker 2: yourself another can opener. Twelve fourteen eleven, thirteen and a
Speaker 2: half fighteen, I am in business. Leave us code well
Speaker 2: Broadway thirteen geeze is not bad for a day's work,
Speaker 2: So Georgie, I ask you to skip the details Broadway.
Speaker 2: I only got today and tomorrow morning before I will
Speaker 2: have to skip everything. Do you begrudge me this hour?
Speaker 3: I am sorry, but I do not see what all
Speaker 3: this has to do with performing a great public service.
Speaker 2: You will see in a minute. Well, I check in
Speaker 2: at a hotel. I and Lou range to meet later
Speaker 2: at a place called the Bath and Sailing Club. It
Speaker 2: is a bad name because I do not see anybody
Speaker 2: taking a bath or sailing, although some of the dolls
Speaker 2: in the dining room seem to be dressed for the
Speaker 2: first occupation. Then I see a beautiful pancake walk in
Speaker 2: and sit at a table by the window. Now amol.
Speaker 2: The head waiter is a good friend of mine, so
Speaker 2: I ask him who the doll is and he says
Speaker 2: the one invite mister George. Yeah, the pancake with the
Speaker 2: dress that he's made for dolls like her, Mister George.
Speaker 2: She is cemetery bit or married to a jealous husband.
Speaker 2: This is bad arranging. Her husband is very senitish that
Speaker 2: he is my my, she is very lovely, gorgeous. But
Speaker 2: there is something about her I do not like amol
Speaker 2: one thing. I do not mean in the way of equipment,
Speaker 2: but in the way her eyes look to me. They
Speaker 2: are heavenly blue. They are on the cold side chiuned
Speaker 2: cold or not, she is beyond us, mister George, especially
Speaker 2: since her husband is one of the best amateur marksmen
Speaker 2: in the world. Oh now, I see why you call
Speaker 2: her cemetery bait. However, I have heard that she is
Speaker 2: looking around. It is a brave man who will overlook
Speaker 2: her husband. Ah, yes, but you will excuse n.
Speaker 5: Yeah, George, a male sit down.
Speaker 6: Yeah, see you later, mail, Yes, sir, Yeah, Well it's
Speaker 6: on set for the.
Speaker 5: Night, George.
Speaker 2: My goodness, I hardly have time to get settled.
Speaker 5: You can do all right after you crack the job. Now, look,
Speaker 5: here's he it.
Speaker 2: Rice.
Speaker 5: Take a good look.
Speaker 2: Okay, I got it right now.
Speaker 6: The maid who gives me the tip says the best
Speaker 6: time the finger the job is about one in the morning.
Speaker 2: I'll have to keep late hours.
Speaker 5: Father, love of Mike, When you shut up and let
Speaker 5: me talk.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, Okay. The safe is a tin can.
Speaker 5: You want to be able to take it apart.
Speaker 2: But it happened, Lou. You know I do a very
Speaker 2: neat job, no blasting, no drilling. I do not like
Speaker 2: to ruin other people's property.
Speaker 5: We're getting the can open.
Speaker 2: Is your job.
Speaker 5: Once you get the stuff, I'll pick it up and
Speaker 5: get it out.
Speaker 2: Of Miami like usual.
Speaker 6: No, it wouldn't look good for us to take the
Speaker 6: wind right after the Juno's done, so we'll stick around
Speaker 6: a couple of days.
Speaker 2: Then i'll leave. You'll follow, Okay, one o'clock this morning.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and Georgie, what, Lou?
Speaker 2: Please don't take any samples. What do you mean? I mean?
Speaker 6: I hope your pockets do not have holes in them,
Speaker 6: so little twinklets slip into the linings.
Speaker 2: Lou, I promise you I will hold out nothing.
Speaker 6: Okay, go right to your hotel. I'll pick up the stuff.
Speaker 6: It will be out in Miami in an hour. Yeah,
Speaker 6: and I what's the matter.
Speaker 2: I just that pancake who just leaves looks just as
Speaker 2: good from this side as the other.
Speaker 6: Keep your mind on your work, lady can have all
Speaker 6: the happies you want.
Speaker 2: So broadway. I wait until about one am in the morning.
Speaker 2: Then I go to the address. Loop gives me there
Speaker 2: is not a soul there. I had the layout, so
Speaker 2: I go right to the safe and start work. I
Speaker 2: use my own little gadget that I invent.
Speaker 6: I'll go ahead.
Speaker 5: Why do you stop?
Speaker 2: I wonder why the government never lets me have the
Speaker 2: patent I ask for in that gadget.
Speaker 3: Well, Georgie, they have got very peculiar ideas about.
Speaker 2: Some things here, I guess. So anyway, I work away.
Speaker 2: When I hit the front door open and close, I
Speaker 2: take a quick look. And who do you think it is?
Speaker 2: Er buffalo Bill? He is dead? Will I give up?
Speaker 2: Who is it? The beautiful pancake I see earlier that night?
Speaker 5: This is her house?
Speaker 2: It turns out that is the case. Anyway, She is
Speaker 2: with a guy. Know who the guy is, Georgie.
Speaker 3: Before you finish this story, they will put you in
Speaker 3: the juicer and I will never know what happens.
Speaker 2: Please proceed. Who is the guy? Remember, little Eddie Baker Baker, Oh,
Speaker 2: oh sure, sure the Shakman, Yeah, blackmailer Broadway. He is
Speaker 2: very crooked, more than somewhat. So what happens? The doll
Speaker 2: does not turn on the lights, but they come into
Speaker 2: the room where I am going about my business. I
Speaker 2: see that Eddie Baker is now wearing a little mustache,
Speaker 2: and he is dressed to kill. I duck in a
Speaker 2: closet behind some clothes, and I hear the dolls say.
Speaker 5: To Marsel, don't turn on the line.
Speaker 2: Why you said we would be alone? Oh we are COULDA?
Speaker 2: I do not like this? What if someone saws?
Speaker 3: Who could.
Speaker 5: Frightened Tomassel? Your husband away on a fishing ton.
Speaker 2: But he may come back sooner than you expect.
Speaker 4: I don't think so.
Speaker 2: He likes the fish.
Speaker 7: Corda, you're so lovely, am I? You know you are
Speaker 7: so listen to me? Why can't we go away together?
Speaker 5: How much money do you have to Mussel?
Speaker 2: No, nor do I You're Jewish?
Speaker 5: Tomusl the way I like to live. That wouldn't last a.
Speaker 2: Year, Yes, but you don't know what it's like married
Speaker 2: to a man who watches every move mt.
Speaker 5: No, we were careful, Corda.
Speaker 2: What are we going to do. That's why I brought
Speaker 2: you up here. We've got to talk about it. To
Speaker 2: Mussel about what Corda, what are you thinking about my husband? Yes,
Speaker 2: he loves me. He loves me, Tomaso. He loves me
Speaker 2: so much that when he dies, I'll get everything.
Speaker 5: And it's a state, the yacht, the money.
Speaker 2: I'll be very wealthy, Tomussel, I could marry anyone I
Speaker 2: wanted me, perhaps, you said, perhaps m hm.
Speaker 7: When not here, not in Miami. It's got to look
Speaker 7: like an accident. You will be leaving for New York
Speaker 7: in two days, won't you.
Speaker 1: Ye.
Speaker 7: There's many more possibilities for an accident in New York.
Speaker 2: There there are. Do you love me? Wait and see
Speaker 2: how much? Well?
Speaker 5: That is the story the gentleman George tells.
Speaker 3: Me so far, and even though I am sitting in
Speaker 3: a penitentiary listening to it, I cannot believe, because I
Speaker 3: wish to know what happens.
Speaker 2: I find out and it's very strange, indeed, and I
Speaker 2: will tell you about it in a minute.
Speaker 1: And now back to the Damon Rundom Theater and the
Speaker 1: famous story cemetery bait.
Speaker 3: Like I say, I am sitting with gentlemen, George in
Speaker 3: the death house listening to him, and he goes on.
Speaker 2: To wit, Viz, what time is it Broadway? Hap passed three?
Speaker 1: What?
Speaker 2: My My time goes real fast in a place like this. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: yeah does George. But you are telling me a story. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I wish you to promise me that you will
Speaker 2: tell it so everybody can see what a great public
Speaker 2: service I do, even though I am waiting to be fried,
Speaker 2: I promise George. Okay, Well, I hear this. Cora Doll
Speaker 2: and Eddie Baker, whose name now seems to be Tomaso,
Speaker 2: set up a thing to knock over her husband, who
Speaker 2: seems to be interfering with their amusement. But I figure
Speaker 2: it is none of my business. Until the next day
Speaker 2: I am at the beach with blue Adolia.
Speaker 5: That was a good job last night, Georgie.
Speaker 2: You are happy with it?
Speaker 5: Yes, I figured the stuff shuit fring maybe more.
Speaker 2: Than eighty grand Yeah, it is gone.
Speaker 5: It was out of Miami. And aready slipped to me?
Speaker 2: And when do I get my cutters? Sosay, heats off. Okay, meanwhile,
Speaker 2: this is a very fine life. My my, there is
Speaker 2: a doll wearing a handkerchief.
Speaker 6: Yeah yeah, but what a small handkerchief? Oh hey, blue,
Speaker 6: wasn't mat of cops.
Speaker 2: No, there is the old guy who saves my life
Speaker 2: on the train.
Speaker 6: Look, will you forget that all you had was a
Speaker 6: stomach ache.
Speaker 2: I am very grateful to him. It is very seldom
Speaker 2: that people do things for me, and I wish to
Speaker 2: speak to him. Okay, okay, go ahead. I will be
Speaker 2: right over there with a red umbrella.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I see, Georgie. Georgie, sit down? Why sit down?
Speaker 5: Your don't sit down?
Speaker 2: What is eating you?
Speaker 5: You know who that is?
Speaker 2: Yes, he's the man who saves my life.
Speaker 5: He's the guy who's joint you're knocked over last night?
Speaker 2: Oh no, oh.
Speaker 5: Yes, Colonel Samuel B.
Speaker 2: Venus, Why do you not tell me this before I
Speaker 2: do the job?
Speaker 6: You look, how did I know he was the guy
Speaker 6: that cured just Tommy besides.
Speaker 2: The eighty grand I am very sorry.
Speaker 5: You shut up.
Speaker 2: I am very ungrateful. I should speak to him.
Speaker 5: Look, just keep away from him.
Speaker 2: I guess you were right.
Speaker 5: Dob, the dumb clucks echover guy's joint. The things still
Speaker 5: happen you when I talk to him.
Speaker 2: Maybe I will find some other way. To thank him.
Speaker 2: Maybe I will, Holy Mac, Georgie.
Speaker 5: Would they give me the nise? What's now?
Speaker 2: I just remember something that's impossible.
Speaker 5: But what is it?
Speaker 2: I nothing, low, nothing, I guess, But I do remember
Speaker 2: something Broadway. This Colonel Samuel be Venus is the husband
Speaker 2: that Cora and Tomaso are going to decease. Yeah, that
Speaker 2: is right now. Personally I would not care if they
Speaker 2: do it on somebody else. But the colonel saves my life.
Speaker 2: You understand, Sure, I understand.
Speaker 3: But somehow it seems to be a little unimportant considering
Speaker 3: where we are.
Speaker 2: Huh, nothing nothing. So what happens then, Georgie? Well, I
Speaker 2: figure I will try to do something without getting myself
Speaker 2: in trouble for the little job I do for Luidolia.
Speaker 2: So I stick around and I find that the Colonel
Speaker 2: and Cora are going to New York by boat, so
Speaker 2: I go the same way. The boat is named the Castilia.
Speaker 2: That is very familiar.
Speaker 3: Sure, I just tell it to you, you know, I
Speaker 3: mean I read something about that boat. Oh well, I
Speaker 3: will tell you what it is. You remember, Yeah, well,
Speaker 3: all right, you are on the boat. So is the
Speaker 3: colonel and the doll corps ah, and so is Tomaso.
Speaker 3: But you know what, I do not know what what?
Speaker 2: Georgie the Cora Pancake and Tomaso never even look at
Speaker 2: each other. It is like they are strangers. That is
Speaker 2: very strange, right. Perhaps they do not wish the colonel
Speaker 2: to see them together. Yeah, yeah, that is real smart
Speaker 2: of you. But I watched them, but they never make
Speaker 2: a move to do in the old guy. Then it
Speaker 2: comes up one night and I am in my cell
Speaker 2: so cabin. Oh yeah, I'm in my cabin with Ruid Dohlia.
Speaker 2: Who is along? I'm just getting some sleep when all
Speaker 2: of a sudden I hear a lot of noise. Hi, Hey,
Speaker 2: what's that?
Speaker 5: Ahl?
Speaker 2: Hey?
Speaker 5: What's going on?
Speaker 2: Who is throwing a party? John plucks it on her hair?
Speaker 5: This tank is on fire?
Speaker 2: What come on?
Speaker 7: Twitch?
Speaker 2: I am not fresh throwing up? Don't come on which way, louke?
Speaker 5: Come on, let's get up the stairs.
Speaker 2: With all this water around, hors a boat catch on
Speaker 2: fire and move fast away? Wait a minute?
Speaker 1: What for?
Speaker 2: Look? I have got an idea.
Speaker 5: Oh not at a time.
Speaker 2: You go ahead, I will follow.
Speaker 5: What are you gonna do?
Speaker 2: A lot of people will be rushing out and maybe
Speaker 2: leave valuables. I can pick up some trickers up the
Speaker 2: red time. It is all right. You go ahead, I
Speaker 2: will make hey well his son chaw tay. It's your off.
Speaker 2: You will see you later. Anybody in here, I just
Speaker 2: wish to tell you the boat is on fire. Well broadway.
Speaker 2: I go from place to place and I pick up
Speaker 2: a few odds and ends. In fact, I do all right.
Speaker 2: Then I get the one cabin and go inside. I
Speaker 2: see nobody at first until I start to leave. Then
Speaker 2: I see there is somebody in the bed all tied
Speaker 2: up and gagged. You know who it is, Colonel Samuel
Speaker 2: be Venus. Ah there, you know. Never mind what happens? Then?
Speaker 2: Well I get him untied and get the gag out
Speaker 2: of his body, and he says, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: You've got to get out of here. Yeah, it seems
Speaker 2: the right thing to do. What is the matter.
Speaker 3: I can't walk.
Speaker 5: They tied my legs so tightly the circulation stopped.
Speaker 2: I will have to carry you. Wait a minute, I
Speaker 2: want to get something. I will get it for you.
Speaker 1: That drawer in the small cabinet there's a gun.
Speaker 2: This.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I.
Speaker 5: I know you.
Speaker 2: You saved my life. Now I save yours.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, yes, I remember, Oh oh wait, I can't
Speaker 3: get up.
Speaker 2: Look, hold my arm. They did this.
Speaker 6: They did this to me, Cora, Cora, and that man,
Speaker 6: that man in the white pole cap and the coat
Speaker 6: to man.
Speaker 2: Little guy black mustache. He hit me.
Speaker 5: They tied me out and killed him.
Speaker 2: What about her? Help me?
Speaker 1: Carry me?
Speaker 2: All right? Up? You com now, Hang on.
Speaker 1: It's not her fault.
Speaker 2: She's just a child. But him, I don't even know him.
Speaker 2: Hang on tighter. I got to use my hands to
Speaker 2: feel through the smokers. Yes, that poor child, she didn't
Speaker 2: know what she was doing. You'll think not. I know
Speaker 2: she didn't. But I'll kill him. That little man in
Speaker 2: the white.
Speaker 5: Golden cap, I'll kill him.
Speaker 2: Look, colonel, I have to tell you something. Save your breath.
Speaker 6: You'll need it.
Speaker 5: But I gotta keep your mouth closed.
Speaker 2: No doll is worth killing somebody. She is an innocent child. Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: I will not say anything more. We're almost on deck.
Speaker 1: Then I'll find him and i'll kill him.
Speaker 2: I get the old guy on deck, he is pretty
Speaker 2: done in. So I take a look around for myself.
Speaker 2: On deck, everybody is getting a little boats and on rafts.
Speaker 2: I see a few things, and I do a little
Speaker 2: thinking about the old guy and the doll he thinks
Speaker 2: is an innocent child. Then I go back to where
Speaker 2: I leave the colonel, and I see he is looking
Speaker 2: out to see.
Speaker 3: Look, look in that life boat out there, do you see?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see somebody in a white polo coat and cap. Oh,
Speaker 2: but you better get on this raft, Colonel. That's the man.
Speaker 2: I won't let him get away. Look, col kill him.
Speaker 2: You're going to shoot him now.
Speaker 5: Nobody will hear the shots.
Speaker 2: But you cannot hit him at that distance. And the
Speaker 2: boat is popping up and down.
Speaker 3: Hit harder targets than that, and.
Speaker 5: For less reason why.
Speaker 2: That is real good shooting.
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I've never done better in my life.
Speaker 2: Oh, I guess you do not. The little white cap
Speaker 2: is floating on the side. Kill him. I said I would,
Speaker 2: and I did. Sure. Sure, Now we better get on
Speaker 2: this raft.
Speaker 5: Come on, No, wait, wait, Coral, We've got to find Cora.
Speaker 2: There is no time, Colonel. Besides it, it is more
Speaker 2: than likely that she gets on a book.
Speaker 1: I've got to find it.
Speaker 2: Look, I tell you, I take a look around.
Speaker 5: She is not on this point that I'm not leaving
Speaker 5: until I find her.
Speaker 2: That poor child. I've got to find her. Do you understand, colonel,
Speaker 2: Once you saved my life. Now I have got to
Speaker 2: do something for you. Like I say, I've got to
Speaker 2: get you in the raft. And it is easier if
Speaker 2: you are unconscious this way. So I get him on
Speaker 2: the raft and it is not long before another big
Speaker 2: boat comes and picks us up. Yeah. See ah you
Speaker 2: doing George? Huh? Oh fine, got the time? Yeah? Three
Speaker 2: forty ah anything you want? No, I guess not. Thanks,
Speaker 2: just the same, Yeah, take it easy. That guard is
Speaker 2: a real nice guy. There is another one who was
Speaker 2: not so nice, probably because I take two bucks away
Speaker 2: from him at two handed pre knuckle. Yeah.
Speaker 3: But George, h you say you do a great public
Speaker 3: service and you wish me to tell people about it.
Speaker 2: However, I cannot tell people what it is unless you
Speaker 2: tell me. Oh yeah, I am coming to that first.
Speaker 2: Got a cigarette? Sure? Thanks?
Speaker 1: Light.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you are a nice guy Broadway. I will be
Speaker 2: sorry to see you go. Oh thanks, George. Now let
Speaker 2: me see I am telling you about my great public service.
Speaker 2: I will get an ashtray. I do not like to
Speaker 2: get this place dirty.
Speaker 3: Well, George walks to get an ash tray, and when
Speaker 3: he gets it, he comes back and gives me the
Speaker 3: payoff of the story, which I will tell you in
Speaker 3: a minute. Like I am saying, George gets the ashtray,
Speaker 3: comes back and sits down for a minute.
Speaker 2: He just looks off into space, and then he says,
Speaker 2: you know, I am criticized very severely for what I
Speaker 2: do when I get on that rare. And what is
Speaker 2: it you do, George, Well, it is very crowded, so
Speaker 2: I have got to push away a female character who
Speaker 2: is trying to get on. You do what I push
Speaker 2: this character off, especially when I see she has got
Speaker 2: a small black mustache. What are you talking about? Well,
Speaker 2: I do not tell you, and I do not tell
Speaker 2: the colonel that. When I take a look around, I
Speaker 2: see Tomaso making this Cora now change clothes with him
Speaker 2: at the point of a knife, thinking he can get
Speaker 2: in a boat reserve for women and children.
Speaker 5: Then the colonel he shoots.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he shoots Cora. She deserves it Broadway because he
Speaker 2: is a nice old guy and she does not deserve him.
Speaker 2: Does he find it out? Yeah, he is now in
Speaker 2: a place where they keep guys who go off their rockers.
Speaker 3: But look, George, why do you not tell everybody that
Speaker 3: it is not a female.
Speaker 2: You push away. That is this, sir Tomaso.
Speaker 3: You have still got some hours to clear that up. Well,
Speaker 3: I tell you do I not, but I cannot keep.
Speaker 2: You out of the juice. Oh you misunderstand. I am
Speaker 2: not here for giving Tomaso the heave ho, although that
Speaker 2: is the public service I speak about, because I figure
Speaker 2: he is a menace to the sanctity of the American home.
Speaker 2: I am here because lou Adohlia forgets to give me
Speaker 2: my cut, and one night I push his car over
Speaker 2: a cliff and I forget to remove him from saying.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I see, Well I.
Speaker 2: Guess I will be going Yeah, thanks for coming, Broadway.
Speaker 2: Not at all.
Speaker 8: Well, Georgia, thanks the same to you and many of them.
Speaker 1: And so ends the famous Damon Runyon story cemetery bait,
Speaker 1: listening again next week for the Damon Runyon Theater. The
Speaker 1: Damon Runyon Theater with John Brown as Broadway is directed
Speaker 1: by Richard Sandville and the story is adapted for radio
Speaker 1: by Russell Hughes. Bern Carstensen is in charge of production.
Speaker 2: This is a Mayfair production.