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Speaker 1: So you're a successful YouTuber, and you're a nice young woman,

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and you're an intelligent young woman, and so one day

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you confess to something that you felt you had to do,

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something that's done every day in America, and then all

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of a sudden, everything changes and you are under attack

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from people who used to be your friends. And I

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want to talk with that Nicki Philippi, who's a new

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friend of mine through her dad, Dirk, and we will

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maybe even ask Dirk to come on set and take

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a bow. He's a very gifted speaker himself and musician.

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So we'll talk with Nicky about this. And this is

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with the help of Boer Capital Management, Know Your Risk

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Radio dot com, and of course, with God Almighty.

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Speaker 2: The Todd Herman Show is one hundred percent disapproved by

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big pharma technocrats and tyrants everywhere. Now from the high

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mountains of Free America. Here's the Emerald City exile God

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her Man.

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Speaker 1: Today is a day the Lord has made, and these

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are the times to which God has decided we should live.

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And I'm joined it in studio by Nicki Phillipie. I

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do shake hands if I guess if that's.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Well, my hand's all sweaty, but there we go.

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Speaker 1: Just keep you pro welcome. You had an incredible experience

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that most people will never know. Is first of all,

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you became a genuine, for real YouTube star.

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Speaker 3: I became a genuine, for real YouTuber. Yeah. I've been

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doing it for fourteen years at this point, and it,

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I mean, it changed my life. It changed my family's lives.

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I've loved it the whole time, but the last few

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years have been crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which, yeah, we'll talk about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So I don't want to embarrass you, but your dad

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knows I said this. You remember this. The first time

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I met you was at a speech I gave in

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Corley and Idaho, and you came up and introduce yourself,

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your dad. You guys were you? We are the same church.

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Do you remember the first thing I said to you?

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Speaker 3: I mean I didn't, but he shook my memory that

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you asked me like if I worked in entertainment?

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Speaker 2: Thing?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it was, yeah, what do you do in entertainment?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Right, And it was how you presented yourself and poise,

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et cetera. And I've seen your dad speak, and maybe

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this is something that he's passed on to you. But

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talk about the process of getting into YouTube, how that happened,

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and then we'll get into this. The only thing I

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can describe it as an attack.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, So first off, I'm really bad at like

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summarizing things. I'm going to try really hard, but I'm

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a YouTuber, so I tend to just like glaborate on

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and on and on, and then when it's like focus

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on just the important parts, it's like I don't know

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which part's important. It kind of all feels important. But yeah,

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I had. I started off doing more like traditional entertainment

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stuff in LA. I was working like indie films, commercials,

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lots of theme park stuff. The irony is, I don't

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know if I told you this when we talked last time.

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I think I did, but I'm not sure. When I

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used to drive to like my shows or being on

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set or whatever, I would listen to KFI AM six

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forty and so I would frequently listen to Rush Limboss.

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I'm pretty confident that I had heard you back in

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the day at some point, because I listened every single

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I'm sure. So it's very kind of ironic, very full

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circle being here hanging out with you. But that's what

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I was doing first and I had worked a job

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in Singapore with a theme park, came home because I

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had an injury. And when I came back, I was like,

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what am I going to do with my life? Like

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I can't dance anymore, I'm not really that great of

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an actress, Like I don't not a great singer. I

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don't know, And long story short, I ended up uploading

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to YouTube. It took me about six months. I kept uploading,

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taking down, uploading, taking down, feeling so embarrassed, and then

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I ended up uploading and just keeping it up and

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deciding not to tell anyone. I'm still gonna say anything.

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We'll see if anybody other than my parents watches my videos.

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Kept it up and kind of slowly over the next

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year or two, built my audience from there. Because I

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was in LA, I started meeting a bunch of other

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LA YouTubers, which this I mean fast forward. I think

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this is a big part of the reason why our

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whole cancelation became what it was is because from the

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beginning I was very plugged in with like the LA

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YouTube comunity, and I was lucky enough to be brought

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in and me all of these super talented people, a

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lot of them were not believers. We didn't share the

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same worldview, but that wasn't necessarily a problem for me.

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We bonded on a lot of the other creative things,

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you know, yeah, just like making content, and that's also

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a very different, like it's a different thing being a creator.

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So there's even a bond in that too, like we

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know what we've been through, you know what I mean. So, yeah,

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I just kept making videos over the next decade. I'm

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really trying to shorten here, because I could really go

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off into fourteen different directions. I started off basically making

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like beauty content. It's actually really funny. I'll back up

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the very first video I uploaded onto YouTube. I was

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so embarrassed that I opened it by being like, hey, guys,

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welcome back to my channel. Long time no see. Even

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that was my very first video on YouTube. I was

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just I was so humiliated, and I just kind of

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kept going. And so my channel really started off as

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like beauty lifestyle type stuff. The irony in that is

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not only did my mom say from the beginning, like

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like okay, yeah, you like the beauty thing. I kind

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of just liked it because of my background and entertainment,

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like having to get ready to go on stage on camera,

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but it's not like that was a passion of mine.

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And she's like, how much can you really talk about?

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Like what are you gonna run out of things to

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talk about? I was like, ah no, I'll just keep going,

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you know. And I had a good friend of mine

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at the time who actually just texted me the other

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day and was like telling me she was proud of me.

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But she was like, why don't you talk more about

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like political, social historical stuff. And I'm not saying this

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is true, I'm just quoting her. She was like, you're

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one of the most educated people I know on the topic,

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like this is what you love. And I'm like, no,

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that's not what I'm doing, which that also kind of

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ties into once we fast forward to all the cancelation stuff.

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But yeah, I just kind of kept doing beauty lifestyle

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stuff because my background was dancing and singing in musical

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theater as well. I was blessed enough in my journey

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to be able to make a lot of really cool music.

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I'm not one of those YouTubers that felt like above

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doing covers, like doing covers, I think other people have

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made a lot of really great music and I got

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connected with some really talented musicians and producers in LA

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that did a really great job at what would be

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the word not re engineering, rearranging music in a way

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that we would take like these songs that I liked,

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and then we would make them kind of our own.

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So I put out a lot of really cool songs.

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My dad actually played on one of them. We did

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John Mayer in the Blood and it was really cool.

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And yeah, I was just kind of doing my thing

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over the years. I feel like that's probably the broadest

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picture I could give of the journey without getting too

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far into details.

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Speaker 1: So I've become a fan of your work, and that's

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not a phrase I use a lot because it means fanatic.

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So I appreciate your work. And one of the things

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you're very clever at doing is sort of I would

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describe as a soft open. You're very skilled at talking

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with people, being conversational. That's hard when you are talking

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to a camera to provide the illusion that you're talking

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with people. Now through the years, and maybe you're the

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same way you feel an audience because you get to

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know them through comments and occasionally meet them at live events.

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I've noticed that about you and then came this time

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where you had to confess to something. And we do

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this like sometimes my wife will say to me, I

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learned things about you and your show. I didn't know

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that happened to you, or I didn't know you felt

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that way. So I want to talk about the moment

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of the cancelation, how that happens, and then this discovery

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of well wait a minute, So this topic is the

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thing that makes me verbot and we'll talk about this

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with Nikki Philippi. I'm having this morning. This would be

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oh gosh, let's see twelfth twenty four. This is my

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Alex is laughing by producer Alex. This is my thirtieth ounce,

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now thirty second ounce of bone Frog coffee this morning.

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This happens to be what do we have downstairs? Goldlocker?

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Oh so the goltlocker is a great, great story from

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Bone Frog Coffee. The goltlocker is a place where enlisted

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officers in the navy can go and the big wigs

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they can't even come in without knocking. It's a great, great,

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great tradition. And this is a light roast, French roast,

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light but incredibly rich. It took three years to develop this.

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That's a Bonefrog Coffee dot com slash tad get tempercent

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off all the products there. Everything comes labeled God Country Team.

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Now in this hand is a pretend? Is it sniffer?

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What do you all wine people drink? What's a fancy wine?

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Things called like wine glass? I don't know. It's a

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fancy wineglass in this hand a fake one because I

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don't drink wine. But if it did drink wine, it

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would have bone Frog cellars and it I would go

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and I'd swish it around. And that's called legs. Does

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it have legs? I learned this from my friends who

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are wine snobs, wine wine experts. It has legs, and

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then I would test the bouquete like my beak. You

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can do that with coffee too. You could also do

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that with root beer. You can do that with a

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bolooney sandwich. I don't know why people do it with wine,

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but they do it. That's what you do. Then you

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take a little bit of it and you drink it.

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You put it in your mouth, but then you open

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your mouth in your nose and you breathe fuck through

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as you're testing the wine. I think you do that

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a little bit more erudite form a little bit more genteel. See,

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I don't drink wine, but I turn to my friends

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who are wine experts, and they tried bone Frog Sellars

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and were deeply impressed. They had the twenty fifteen Mayri

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Low and Cabernet. Those are the two. I don't know

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if to say flavors or blends. I don't know types

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of wine. My daughter tried it. She is not yet

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legally supposed to drink, but hey, it's our house. Assue

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me do, But I guess you could. She loved it.

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Sited to boyfriend. My wife occasiona has wine with dinner.

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She really enjoyed it. So try it. You got to

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Bonefrogsellars dot com slash todd. You get ten percent off

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all the wines there. Ten percent of proceeds go to

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the Navy Seal Foundation because the founder, Tim Krukshank, look

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at that retired Navy sealed Bonefrogsellars dot com slash todd.

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NICKI Philippi's with me. So you have been running in

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the circles of entertainment, and I've run in tho circles,

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not like you, but a little bit. I used to

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have a Microsoft check book down in Los Angeles. So

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I was super popular because I had fifty million dollars.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

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Speaker 1: Right, So I got invited to all the white parties,

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to the parties, all the little white lines and all

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the beautiful mirrors and seen some of that stuff.

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Speaker 3: Which, by the way, I'm excited to interview you on

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my podcast as well because I can't wait to hear

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all of your stuff in more detail hopefully.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, no, you'll get all the details you want.

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You go, you get in front of the camera, and

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you talked about a heartbreaking decision you had to make.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. So, our dog, Bowser, we had him for he

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was about ten and a half years old, and he

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had shown aggression before, we had worked with a trainer

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in the past. He was just I mean, he was

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kind of an out of control dog in a lot

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of ways, and he had actually attempted to bite people

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a couple of times. There were just a few different

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things that had come up, and basically he bit our

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son in the face. And when that happened, and it

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happened in like a blink too, I mean, and you'll

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have to forgive me. I get I get us even

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rethinking it, not only just my stomach kind of shudders

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when I think about how grateful I am that my

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son was okay. Like all he was left with he

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has like a little mark on his face and that's it.

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And I'm sure everyone is seen, especially in the last

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few years, which I don't think this is a coincidence,

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how many stories have come out of kids being either

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mauled to death or just having their face ripped off.

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Like it literally makes me shudder when I think about

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how grateful I am that my son was okay. But

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he bit our son in the face, and after that

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it was like, okay, stuff has happened. Multiple things have

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led up to this. We need to rehome him. And

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so we had reached out to an organization to talk

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about rehoming him, and they basically walked us through the

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fact that they're like, you cannot rehome this dog for

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a lot of different reasons, not only like do bite

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laws very state by state, but he had shown aggression

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before he was elderly, essentially like that breed of dog.

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He was in the chapter of his life where he

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was nearing the end anyways, and so I mean, once again,

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trying to not go off in too many details, it

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was a hard phone call. It was really devastating. I've

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been with my husband for sixteen years. That was one

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of the few times I've ever seen him cry. Was

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when they told us, like, you cannot rehome him. So

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we had to put Bowser down and we did it

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in our home with an anesthesiologist, if that's the term

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for it. And afterwards I felt like I had to

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tell the internet, mostly because a lot of my videos

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over the years, you know, I do a variety of videos,

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Like I said, I've done beauty and lifestyle and music

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and this and that, and I've done a lot of logs,

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and so my audience that had really watched faithfully had

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seen from the very beginning when we first brought Bowser

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into our home, and it couldn't just be like, oh,

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Bowser's just non And I didn't want to lie, not

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only because I don't lie, but also because honestly, this

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is ironic. I thought, oh my gosh, if I changed

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the story and then someone's going to do some digging

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and then they're gonna find it, you know, it's gonna

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blow up in this whole thing. The best thing to

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do is to just tell the truth. And so we

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filmed a video just basically telling everyone what had happened,

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and after I put it up, we put up an

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Instagram post, you know, to say like, hey, this is

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what happened, a full video out of my YouTube channel,

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and it was within minutes like the post went completely viral.

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I actually ended up privating my Instagram about twenty four

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hours later because the post had like thirty thousand comments

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on it. It was insane, and we started getting death

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threats immediately. I mean that night, I remember I was

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getting texts and phone calls. The next morning when I

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woke up, I had texts with pictures of my house

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and my address, like we're coming for you. You think

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you can hide, you can't. Like I had mentioned, I'd

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become friends over the years with a lot of the

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LA creator community, which, like I alluded to earlier, I

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think that's a big reason this blew up, because a

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handful of those creators, I don't know if they had

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been waiting for me to like fall or what, or

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maybe it really just in their worldview, this was the

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last straw, but this is the thing that really like

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set them off. So a lot of them made videos

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about us, and from their worldview, which I've learned a

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lot since that point that like, Okay, this whole animal

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were thing is a thing that runs rampant and culture

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it makes sense to me now could not have foreseen it. Then.

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We were completely blindsided. Like there were a lot of

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people that felt we did that for views, and I'm thinking, like, man,

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I would take that back if I could. And in

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some ways, not like not the situation, not the fact

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that we put Bowser down, but just this idea of

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like doing something for views. It's like it was horrible.

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In a matter of two days, we had lost all

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of our sponsorships. This happened in March, I believe, and

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we had at that point sponsorships booked out through Christmas,

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and all of them, one by one just kept pulling

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because the mob, the online mob, which that's a whole

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separate thing. I do think that the online mob is

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representative of culture in some ways. On the other hand,

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my dad and I have talked about this a lot.

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I don't know how many of these online people are

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actually people. I think that like if they paid people

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to show up to protests back in the day, like,

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how much easier is it for there to be bots

321
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to stick on people who don't align with your agenda.

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And if I had learned one thing over the previous

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decade on YouTube was that I did not necessarily align

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with the agenda of YouTube corporate and a lot of

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these bigger corporate entities that were involved in YouTube. So yeah,

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it just it exploded really fast. And when we first

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posted it, actually my manager had called me up and

328
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she was like, you need to take that down, like

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you can honor his memory without saying what happened. And

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first off, I was like, well, it's already up, like

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the internet doesn't forget, which on a side note, people

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always ask us why we still have this video up,

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and that's the reason we still have it up. A

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the internet doesn't forget. What am I going to do?

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Take it? It didn't happen. But B I don't feel

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like we have anything to be ashamed of. Like I

337
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said to you, if we could go back, we've thought

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about it in circles over and over and over. We

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would have done the exact same thing. Would we have

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necessarily told everyone. I don't know about that. You know,

341
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I think that it was supposed to play out this way.

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God's done a lot in my heart and in my

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husband's heart through this. It's been painful, but I think

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it's been necessary. But we wouldn't have changed, Like we

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still would have put Bowser down at that point. But yeah,

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she'd said that to me, I'm like, dude, I'm not

347
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going to take this down, like we've already told everyone,

348
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it's already loose. But we eventually we parted ways as well,

349
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so everything. We had five employees at the time, we

350
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had to let everyone go. It all changed in the

351
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matter of like a week. It was really depressing. It

352
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was really scary. I think I cried from like honestly

353
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like four months, Like not to be dramatic, get it,

354
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but I mean at that point, I had already put

355
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in a decade of work into this. I had poured

356
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my heart and soul into YouTube and worked really hard

357
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alongside other people. And it was very hard for me

358
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to wrap my brain around how doing something that I

359
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actually thought and still think was right could get me

360
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in so much trouble and change things so radically, Like

361
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it kept feeling like not reality, Like I'm not going

362
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to wake up. What the heck is this?

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Speaker 1: There's an obvious comparison that people probably been making in

364
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their minds in the podcast family, is that okay? If

365
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you'd come on and hey, guys, you know, my husband

366
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,039
and I have been together for sixteen years, we actually

367
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got pregnant. It's not a good time for us. Yeah, exactly,

368
00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:13,279
So it made the really difficult decision have an abortion. Nothing,

369
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you'd still have sponsors, et cetera. My daughter's a vegan,

370
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so she'd hear your story and she'd be one of

371
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those people who's outrage. I'll just tell you that, right.

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Speaker 3: Which, to be honest, those are the only my husband

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gets mad when I say this, but those are the

374
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only people who'se anger. I kind of respect because I'm like, well,

375
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at least you're morally consistent, right, you don't eat me.

376
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,440
But it's like if you eat burgers, like, I'm sorry,

377
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,799
I don't, you're missing the consistency here.

378
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,240
Speaker 1: Let me share with you just a quick story of

379
00:17:37,279 --> 00:17:39,519
something happened to me because you speak of the mob,

380
00:17:39,599 --> 00:17:41,640
and I met the mob. I've met the mob twice.

381
00:17:42,279 --> 00:17:44,319
I mean I've met the like antifat types who've come

382
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to my studio in Seattle with the intention of intimidating

383
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,480
me and then when they found out, wait, you actually

384
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,559
do carry guns. Yeah, I remember when I said that

385
00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:55,079
on the show. But I'll tell you story about a lady,

386
00:17:55,519 --> 00:17:59,160
a lady who wished a painful death upon my little girl,

387
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who at the time was kindergarten. And I'll share this

388
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with you in a second. We're talking with Niki Philippi.

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There's a link to her podcast, YouTube, vlogs, et cetera.

390
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:11,559
In the show. That's yeah, same thing right now. My

391
00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:14,759
friends at Bioptimizers are doing something that I've not seen

392
00:18:14,799 --> 00:18:18,920
them do. It is an entire site wide sale. The

393
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:23,680
entire catalog of things at Bioptimizers is twenty five percent off.

394
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And you've heard me talk about P three am that's

395
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the prebiotic, very very powerful. Make sure you get more

396
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nutrition for every bite of food that you purchase. Magnesium

397
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Breakthrough for sleep and relaxation, mass zymes of course to

398
00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:38,039
help you produce more amino acids in your body, twelve

399
00:18:38,079 --> 00:18:40,839
hundred percent more, which is the building block of proteins,

400
00:18:40,839 --> 00:18:43,680
and of course that's the building block of muscles. So

401
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:49,000
there is also great quality wave proteins. There is Sleep Breakthrough,

402
00:18:49,279 --> 00:18:52,680
there's a whole suite of products and learning tools books

403
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:55,880
that they publish. There's Kpex which is an enzyme hermal

404
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,880
blend infusion. This helps get fat burning on your body,

405
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:01,599
particularly if you're trying to lose fat as you sleep.

406
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:06,640
That's incredibly helpful. There's a Bioptimized Digestive Health stack, so

407
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,920
that can help you digest foods and not have the

408
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,920
gut problems which leads to sleep problems. And a lot

409
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:13,839
of people I've learned in the podcast family are doing

410
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,799
the Keto paleo thing, and they start that up after Thanksgiving.

411
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,480
There's a Keto Paleo stack with KPEX and P three

412
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OM and HCl. That's a hydrochloric acid booster in your body,

413
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so you can really digestive food and get everything out

414
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,039
of it that you need. It's twenty five percent off

415
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every single product at Bioptimizers. All you have to do

416
00:19:34,079 --> 00:19:36,839
is good at bibtimizers dot com slash todd and use

417
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promo code Todd to get twenty five percent off and

418
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,480
to qualify for one hundred dollars in free gifts from

419
00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:46,119
the people at Bioptemisius biptimizers dot com slash todd, promo

420
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:49,960
code Todd. So I'll make this brief because the interviews

421
00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:52,920
about you, I just will share this. I met them up.

422
00:19:53,519 --> 00:19:57,039
This lady when I was the chief digital strategy at

423
00:19:57,039 --> 00:20:00,440
the RNC. She found my email dress sent me this

424
00:20:00,559 --> 00:20:04,920
note and she said, oh, no, she did it on

425
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:07,799
social media. That's right, she did on social media. I

426
00:20:07,839 --> 00:20:12,839
hope your daughter dies slowly of a really, really painful

427
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:16,480
disease like cancer, right kidding me? No, she said this.

428
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:20,079
I just she said this, and I used this too.

429
00:20:20,079 --> 00:20:21,599
I can't remember the name of the two anymore. Where

430
00:20:21,599 --> 00:20:25,240
it was this incredible database. You took someone's social media

431
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,279
handle and that would find all their email addresses. So

432
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,039
I learned that she owned the jewelry store in Maryland.

433
00:20:32,079 --> 00:20:36,039
So that weekends, my wife and daughter and I drove

434
00:20:36,079 --> 00:20:38,680
out and my wife stayed in the car. She didn't

435
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,319
want to see this lady, and my daughter and I

436
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:46,240
went in. My daughter was kindergarten blonde, blue eyed, very

437
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,440
friendly little girl. She loved the shop and she bought

438
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,160
some trinkets. I bought them for her, and the lady

439
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:54,680
was so kind. You're, oh, it's such a lovely girl,

440
00:20:54,839 --> 00:20:57,680
and stands, oh so in need of your daddy to

441
00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,799
buy this to you, and oh and honey, you go

442
00:21:00,839 --> 00:21:03,720
into the car with mom, And I said, you know,

443
00:21:03,799 --> 00:21:05,839
I'd love to be able to know when you have

444
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,759
specialists coming. Let me give you my business card.

445
00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:11,559
Speaker 3: Oh so she didn't even recognize you by your face.

446
00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:14,359
Speaker 1: No, she looked at my business card, taught herm in

447
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:22,119
chief Digital strategist Republican National Committee. You mm hmm, that's

448
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:23,480
the little girl you wish death upon.

449
00:21:23,759 --> 00:21:24,039
Speaker 4: Wow.

450
00:21:24,240 --> 00:21:25,920
Speaker 1: So why don't you come to the car with me?

451
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:30,720
And why don't you say it to her face? And

452
00:21:30,759 --> 00:21:33,680
she just shook, I mean shoulders shook. She started to

453
00:21:33,759 --> 00:21:37,400
cheer up. I am so sorry. I can't believe what

454
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:42,920
politics does to me. I said, well, but she's right here. Well,

455
00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,119
i'll give your money back. No, no, wow, No, that's okay.

456
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,559
I don't want my money back. I bought that for

457
00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,799
my daughter. But why wouldn't you go say this to her?

458
00:21:50,319 --> 00:21:55,759
Because I don't believe it. I am so sorry. This

459
00:21:55,799 --> 00:21:58,440
is a real wake up call for me. I said, well,

460
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I'm glad, that's why I came. I didn't think you

461
00:22:00,279 --> 00:22:02,640
mean it. I don't really think you meant it, but

462
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,839
you know they mean it at the time. Because I'm

463
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:07,480
making you cry.

464
00:22:07,519 --> 00:22:10,000
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, it's just it's just incredible to me that.

465
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:15,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, social media for many people, and I got addicted

466
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:19,599
to this, the dopamine rush of owning the libs on Twitter.

467
00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:25,000
Oh you know what I'm saying, Oh yeah, boom boom boom,

468
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,440
And it's very ungodly. And so I was thinking about

469
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,599
about the people I've burned and the old days of

470
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talk ready to get off my phone, you idiot. And

471
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I guess it was my chance to experience that a

472
00:22:37,079 --> 00:22:41,160
little bit, to experience that that anger. But I have

473
00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:42,519
a theory about you, and.

474
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,640
Speaker 3: God, Oh, let's hear the theory.

475
00:22:44,759 --> 00:22:49,279
Speaker 1: Well, let's hear first of all, how your approach to

476
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,319
doing your job has changed it all. If you've kind

477
00:22:52,319 --> 00:22:56,079
of come back and started to make content again. And

478
00:22:56,319 --> 00:22:58,400
I've left back and looked at some of your older work,

479
00:22:59,079 --> 00:23:03,079
and I see that you are weaving in so well

480
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,480
to your content. A little topic on medical freedom here,

481
00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:10,319
just a little bit here, mention and you know, and

482
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,720
you do it in a very wise and YouTube safe way.

483
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,839
But people know what you're saying, a little food freedom here,

484
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,680
and then even some mentions of your faith in Jesus,

485
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,200
just a little bit, and you do it well enough

486
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,480
that I think people can take this as bits and

487
00:23:25,519 --> 00:23:29,200
pieces of something they'd want to look at later like, huh,

488
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,119
she has this faith, maybe I should. So how did

489
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:33,759
that change for you when you started to come back

490
00:23:33,759 --> 00:23:34,319
into the world.

491
00:23:34,599 --> 00:23:37,440
Speaker 3: Well, it's interesting because you know, how you see yourself

492
00:23:37,519 --> 00:23:39,920
versus how other people see you as always just that

493
00:23:40,079 --> 00:23:43,480
very interesting because I feel like I've always kind of

494
00:23:43,519 --> 00:23:45,640
had that in the mix. Like I used to kind

495
00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,480
of joke, it wasn't really a joke, like I want

496
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,480
to be like a vitamin wrapped in chocolate, like I

497
00:23:49,599 --> 00:23:51,839
want to know. I want to have that. I want

498
00:23:51,839 --> 00:23:53,880
to be like this this goodness out there, but it's

499
00:23:54,319 --> 00:23:57,279
digestible whatever that means, which my view on that has

500
00:23:57,319 --> 00:24:00,319
even kind of changed. That's probably, I guess. And the

501
00:24:00,319 --> 00:24:02,400
answer to your question, the biggest thing that has changed

502
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,640
for me since going through all of this is realizing

503
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,640
that I can't control how other people feel about me.

504
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,400
So even if I want to be a vitamin wrapped

505
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,519
in chocolate, it's like someone might still think like I

506
00:24:13,559 --> 00:24:15,640
taste gross. You know that. It's like not, I can't

507
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:17,480
control people's reactions.

508
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:19,680
Speaker 1: An everlasting gobstopper, though, so are gross.

509
00:24:21,079 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 3: I've never tried it ever, looks in God songer. What Wait,

510
00:24:29,559 --> 00:24:31,480
I don't think I've ever tried one though, Well.

511
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,960
Speaker 1: They're not real joke, Okay, don't tell the kids.

512
00:24:35,039 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 3: Yeah that's so I'm not. I'm not that clued into yeah,

513
00:24:39,799 --> 00:24:41,759
junk food stuff slash. I haven't watched Wally Wonka in

514
00:24:41,839 --> 00:24:43,039
a minute, but got it out.

515
00:24:43,039 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, wait a minute, you're dead sitting her. Hey listen,

516
00:24:45,559 --> 00:24:49,559
I think you're a great father. But that's that you.

517
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 3: No, it's it's not. Okay, it's not because I can

518
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:55,319
watch movies over and over and I don't. My husband

519
00:24:55,359 --> 00:24:56,920
gets mad at me because he's like, we just watched that.

520
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,039
I'm like, but I won't remember.

521
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's an advantage.

522
00:25:00,079 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm paying attention to different things, but I forget.

523
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,920
I miss like main points, like the main candy in

524
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,920
the movie. Apparently. Yeah, I've just realized that, like I

525
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,240
can't control how people are gonna take things, so I

526
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:13,000
can try to be like as nice and as sweet

527
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,240
as I will. And it's not that I don't think

528
00:25:14,279 --> 00:25:17,240
that that's not a worthwhile endeavor. You know, all these

529
00:25:17,279 --> 00:25:19,359
books like my parents did have me read growing up,

530
00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,039
you know, like how do one friends and influence people?

531
00:25:21,079 --> 00:25:23,640
It's like I think those are worthwhile skills. But my

532
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,079
opinion has changed in the sense that, like, I don't

533
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:30,000
think that that guarantees you anything, and ultimately, especially in

534
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:31,720
the view of like the Gospel and how God's going

535
00:25:31,799 --> 00:25:35,240
to work through you and through stuff. Sometimes it's just like, oh, well,

536
00:25:35,279 --> 00:25:37,160
you just got to say it, Like you're gonna be

537
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,960
too concerned about like, oh, hurting people. It's like sometimes

538
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:41,640
you just got to say it. So it's funny because

539
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:46,119
I feel like I've become more emboldened since the cancelation

540
00:25:46,519 --> 00:25:50,279
to just say things more upfront. Versus my past content.

541
00:25:50,400 --> 00:25:53,640
It was more I feel like, just like little drips

542
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:55,160
here and there. Although I did have a channel called

543
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,440
Asniki that was an advice channel, and I was definitely

544
00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,920
more bold on that channel. But I still I mean,

545
00:26:01,960 --> 00:26:04,039
this is me being bold now. So if I'm still

546
00:26:04,319 --> 00:26:07,880
soft maybe compared to for me, it's all very bold.

547
00:26:08,559 --> 00:26:12,759
Speaker 1: Well, I think because of the time I spent initially

548
00:26:12,759 --> 00:26:15,039
in talk radio and what it was and how the

549
00:26:15,039 --> 00:26:18,000
meetium worked at that time, you know, bold was rewarded.

550
00:26:18,759 --> 00:26:21,319
Maybe there's a gender difference. And I'm not really joking

551
00:26:21,319 --> 00:26:24,559
about growing up redneck. I mean, one of our solutions

552
00:26:24,599 --> 00:26:26,400
in junior high in high school was I'll meet you

553
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,599
at the church. That's where the fist fights occurred.

554
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:29,839
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm a native Angelino.

555
00:26:31,039 --> 00:26:32,440
Speaker 1: Okay, so you guys, did you did the drive by

556
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,960
shooting some stuff? Right, it's Nikki hanging out the door

557
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,039
with the oh.

558
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,559
Speaker 3: Like a suburban Angelina. Just mean like more of like

559
00:26:38,599 --> 00:26:40,200
an atheistic society.

560
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:40,799
Speaker 1: Through paint balls.

561
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, just just different than the redneck meet

562
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:44,880
you at church society.

563
00:26:45,519 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: There's advantages to that. So I I had this experience

564
00:26:50,519 --> 00:26:53,440
the where when I got to fill in for Rush

565
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,160
Limbaugh for the first time and I was working with

566
00:26:57,559 --> 00:27:00,759
that guy who you can't see on camera, Alley see this,

567
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:04,680
that's Alex and I got this word, Hey, we're gonna

568
00:27:04,759 --> 00:27:06,400
ask you a film for Rush, and I did it

569
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:08,839
and cool.

570
00:27:08,880 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 3: You guys go back that far by the way.

571
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:16,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, long time. And the when the the I went

572
00:27:16,039 --> 00:27:18,880
into the studio and I was listening to the parodies

573
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,680
of Rush because he had these parodies that would run

574
00:27:21,759 --> 00:27:23,880
down the affiliates like you know, six hunder some stations

575
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:26,039
just to make sure that everyone's getting to feed. So

576
00:27:26,079 --> 00:27:28,000
the radio stations catch catch on. Okay, we're getting the

577
00:27:28,039 --> 00:27:32,480
EIB feed from New York and it was fine, and

578
00:27:32,519 --> 00:27:34,359
then I realized, Oh my gosh, I'm about to go

579
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,960
on a program with the largest radio audience that, in

580
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,200
all reality will ever exist twenty five million people. I

581
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,119
mean not all at once, but you know, five ten

582
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:49,319
million persons every fifteen minutes. And I dropped to my

583
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:57,960
knees and prayed. And when I stood up and the

584
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:03,359
parodies ended, and then there was silence, and then the

585
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:09,160
beep of the satellites. All of a sudden, I was

586
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,799
grossly nervous.

587
00:28:10,559 --> 00:28:11,839
Speaker 3: And dry mouths.

588
00:28:12,279 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: And then when I heard boom boom boom boom, boom boom,

589
00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:21,519
and I believed fully in my soul that someone was

590
00:28:21,559 --> 00:28:22,680
going to walk in the door and go, oh, wait

591
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:25,640
a minute. We didn't understand you're the redneck guy. No, no,

592
00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,599
we can't have this. This is a big mistake. We

593
00:28:27,599 --> 00:28:30,559
thought you were someone else. But it occurred to me

594
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,680
later and Alex and I talked about this that I

595
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,119
said to you, do you remember this? I said, you know,

596
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:36,920
it's really weird. I prayed during Russia show, but not ours,

597
00:28:37,799 --> 00:28:40,799
and you and I started to pray every morning before

598
00:28:40,839 --> 00:28:45,000
the show. And Alex is a very stout, firm man

599
00:28:45,039 --> 00:28:50,240
of God, and the show began to change, and I

600
00:28:50,279 --> 00:28:54,720
found it very difficult to not speak God's word on

601
00:28:54,759 --> 00:28:59,480
a consistent basis. And pastors weren't me about this. They said,

602
00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:04,279
you're going to that you find it very hard to

603
00:29:04,319 --> 00:29:06,880
speak about things other than God's word. So I have

604
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,480
this theory with you, and I want to share this

605
00:29:08,519 --> 00:29:13,039
with you. On Thursday, my friend Zach Abraham did his

606
00:29:13,319 --> 00:29:16,240
last free live webinar of the year, and he's the

607
00:29:16,319 --> 00:29:19,079
chief investment officer Bulwark Capital Management. Some of the questions

608
00:29:19,119 --> 00:29:22,759
were fascinating having to do with the Trump economy. Here's

609
00:29:22,759 --> 00:29:25,359
some things that President Trump has said on the great side,

610
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:29,400
on the make America great side, freeing up the pipeline

611
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,119
projects in America, particularly some of the key ones that

612
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,200
have been blocked down, that will initially and immediately get

613
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:39,319
us back into being a net exporter of fuels, stopping

614
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,640
the ridiculous attempt to stop natural gas in the country.

615
00:29:43,119 --> 00:29:47,640
Perhaps being the president who gets micro nuclear plants installed

616
00:29:47,640 --> 00:29:50,839
around America. If that happens, it would be the biggest,

617
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:55,440
most fundamental positive shift in our economy in hundreds of years.

618
00:29:56,079 --> 00:29:58,640
He's the guy that could get this done. If you're

619
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:01,279
a buy and hold situation during the eighty twenty stock

620
00:30:01,279 --> 00:30:04,160
bond mix. How do you take advantage of that? I mean,

621
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,559
if you're buying hold you might see an increase in

622
00:30:06,599 --> 00:30:08,759
the stock market from that. But what if you could

623
00:30:08,799 --> 00:30:12,599
pick specific companies and take action on them. Hundreds of

624
00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:15,559
companies at a time are thousands. This is much more

625
00:30:15,599 --> 00:30:19,319
like Bulwark Capital Management's approach, which is predicated upon risk management,

626
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,920
paying attention to world events and hedges upon hedges. Last week,

627
00:30:24,119 --> 00:30:27,799
Jack provided this example. There's a company that's in the

628
00:30:27,799 --> 00:30:32,000
gold business, and Zach was raised around gold mines and

629
00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:35,920
their stock, he said, was operating somewhere around some really

630
00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,680
small amount, like thirty cents, and it's just up and notice.

631
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:43,599
But the fundamentals of the company are fantastic. The cashful

632
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:47,680
is fantastic. The CEO is buying their stock. If you

633
00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:51,440
took the assets they own, Hey, this is their land,

634
00:30:51,799 --> 00:30:55,160
this is their minds, this is the equipment. This is

635
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:56,880
the gold that's been or silver I think it is.

636
00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,160
It's actually silver gold silver that's confirmed to be in

637
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:03,599
the ground. It would come out at about a twenty

638
00:31:03,599 --> 00:31:08,039
three dollars share price. This thing is trading at thirty

639
00:31:08,119 --> 00:31:11,839
cents now, Zach made clear look there's some debt, there's

640
00:31:11,839 --> 00:31:14,599
some structured and unstructured debt on the books, But twenty

641
00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:20,000
three dollars for a thirty cent purchase. That's what hedging

642
00:31:20,119 --> 00:31:23,759
is about. That's risk management. Eventually math will catch up

643
00:31:24,079 --> 00:31:27,440
other investors will realize, oh my goodness, that sort of return.

644
00:31:28,599 --> 00:31:31,240
You could go take a look at your portfolio with

645
00:31:31,319 --> 00:31:33,599
Zach sit on a conference call. He'll look at your

646
00:31:33,599 --> 00:31:35,599
retirement plan. He'll look at the money that you have

647
00:31:35,880 --> 00:31:39,319
cash assets in otherwise land, you and your spouse can

648
00:31:39,319 --> 00:31:41,680
talk with him about retirement, what you think it is

649
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,759
and what the math says. It can help you see

650
00:31:44,799 --> 00:31:46,960
if your portfolio is being actively managed. She'll be able

651
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,559
to tell you that an active management of portfolio can

652
00:31:49,599 --> 00:31:52,039
reduce risk and volatility. So just go get a free

653
00:31:52,039 --> 00:31:53,920
conference call together with them. It's super super easy. Call

654
00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:56,640
him at eight sixty six seven to seven nine RISKS

655
00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:58,880
or go to Know your Risk radio dot com. You'll

656
00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:00,680
put a time in a schedule. You guys can meet

657
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:02,039
face to face if you want to go fly and

658
00:32:02,039 --> 00:32:03,759
see him in Seattle, or just do a video call.

659
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:07,000
It's eight sixty six seven seventy nine risk or go

660
00:32:07,079 --> 00:32:08,559
to Know your Risk Radio dot.

661
00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:11,240
Speaker 4: Com investment advisory services offered through Track Financial loc and

662
00:32:11,359 --> 00:32:14,160
SEC Registered investment Advisor. The opinions expressed in this programmer

663
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:16,279
for general informational purposes only and are not intended to

664
00:32:16,279 --> 00:32:19,000
provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual around any

665
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,559
specific security. Any references to performance of security, so it

666
00:32:21,599 --> 00:32:24,079
thought to be materially accurate and actual performance may different.

667
00:32:24,079 --> 00:32:26,519
Investments involve risk and are not guaranteed. Past performance doesn't

668
00:32:26,519 --> 00:32:28,720
guarantee future results. Track twenty four to three zero eight.

669
00:32:30,079 --> 00:32:34,240
Speaker 1: Here's my theory, okay, is I think you got to

670
00:32:34,319 --> 00:32:37,480
see and feel persecution.

671
00:32:39,079 --> 00:32:39,400
Speaker 2: Now.

672
00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:41,519
Speaker 1: I'm not saying that you're preaching the word of God

673
00:32:41,519 --> 00:32:45,319
when you had to put bowser down. But God does

674
00:32:45,359 --> 00:32:50,400
not call the equipped, so he equips the cold. And

675
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:53,920
I think you live in a time of persecution, and

676
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,880
I think your generation is going to face much more

677
00:32:55,880 --> 00:32:59,599
of it than you would ever ever imagine. And the

678
00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:02,599
Lord's had told us effectively, look they hated me first,

679
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:06,519
blessed are you when they persecute you in my name?

680
00:33:08,359 --> 00:33:11,960
And you're uniquely able to use the platform you've been

681
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,640
given and the personality with which God gifted you to

682
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,519
begin speaking these things into a generation that they're chasing

683
00:33:19,559 --> 00:33:22,640
after teachers that their itching years want to hear things.

684
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,759
You live in a world where pastors will say things

685
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:29,359
that simply are not in the Bible, and people don't

686
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:35,119
know fifteen percent of Americans have a biblical worldview, though

687
00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,880
I think about sixty five percent of people call themselves Christians,

688
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:41,079
and I think it's something along the lines of seven

689
00:33:41,119 --> 00:33:44,279
and a half percent of youth pastors have an actual

690
00:33:44,359 --> 00:33:49,920
biblical worldview. That's creepy, right. So I have this theory

691
00:33:50,319 --> 00:33:54,440
that you taste a little bit of persecution and you

692
00:33:54,519 --> 00:33:58,480
live through it and you're still Nikki, and you still

693
00:33:58,480 --> 00:33:59,640
have a family that loves you, and you still have

694
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,640
a husban who loves you. So that's my theory.

695
00:34:03,079 --> 00:34:05,799
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not going to disagree with that. I

696
00:34:05,839 --> 00:34:08,840
think you know, when everything happened, which there was even

697
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,239
I mean there was even more that came after that,

698
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,000
it was kind of like a punch and then a

699
00:34:13,039 --> 00:34:17,239
double punch because leading up to that time, before we

700
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,440
had our son. Should I even go off on.

701
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:22,679
Speaker 1: This, You go off on whatever you want. You're a professional.

702
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 3: Sometimes I get a little parandle because, like I said,

703
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:26,000
I can go on for hours so it's like, I

704
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,000
don't know what I'm about to say.

705
00:34:27,039 --> 00:34:28,119
Speaker 1: How I don't know what we need to do. We

706
00:34:28,159 --> 00:34:30,360
took the brown end ms out of the dish. There,

707
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,679
we got your managements all fine with the limo and

708
00:34:32,679 --> 00:34:32,960
every there.

709
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:36,840
Speaker 3: I don't get the brown Oh like diva comment, you.

710
00:34:36,840 --> 00:34:38,039
Speaker 1: Don't get the van Halen thing.

711
00:34:38,199 --> 00:34:40,639
Speaker 3: No, I think about it in terms of Jalo.

712
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: Wait, you your dad was a successful studious You didn't

713
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:46,639
tell the van Halen stories.

714
00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:47,679
Speaker 3: The van Halen story.

715
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:52,280
Speaker 1: Van Halen had a rider in their concert. Their concert

716
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,639
rider okay, said that they wanted bulls of Eminem's with

717
00:34:54,679 --> 00:34:57,280
all the brown ems from it was just to be jerky.

718
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,159
Speaker 3: I did pick up on the vibe though, because while

719
00:34:59,159 --> 00:35:00,880
I'm not saying this this is true, I've heard the

720
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,679
same thing of j Lo. So that's kind of what

721
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,199
I thought. Yeah, I know you're saying that's true or whatever,

722
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,920
but you know, picky about the foods or whatever, which

723
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:09,760
I'm picky about my foods too, it just wouldn't be

724
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:14,679
Eminem's anyways. Wow, back on focus. So after the Bowser situation,

725
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,239
part of the reason it was so prolonged was not

726
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,519
just that cancelation. And this is I guess kind of

727
00:35:20,559 --> 00:35:22,760
along the lines of like the persecution and it really

728
00:35:22,840 --> 00:35:27,519
feeling like it was targeted because of our faith. We

729
00:35:27,639 --> 00:35:29,800
had been going on a journey for the previous like

730
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,599
two years prior to getting pregnant having my son, an

731
00:35:33,639 --> 00:35:36,320
adoption journey. Essentially, I had thought for a long time

732
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,639
that I didn't want to have any biological children. This

733
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:40,920
is kind of it's fascinating to me because it's kind

734
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:42,880
of part of this whole thing as well. I think

735
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:46,000
it's kind of in the same subject vein. And the

736
00:35:46,039 --> 00:35:48,000
reason I thought I didn't want to have biological children

737
00:35:48,039 --> 00:35:50,199
was very layered. I dealt with chronic pain for a

738
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:52,239
long time, so that was part of it. I thought, man,

739
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,639
having a baby's going to like ravage my body, and

740
00:35:54,679 --> 00:35:56,840
then part of it And I've actually referred to this

741
00:35:56,960 --> 00:36:00,639
is probably like the biggest leftist life I fell for

742
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:03,760
because even though I was from I'm from LA I've

743
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,360
really kind of always been more conservative. Like I told you,

744
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:09,039
i'd be driving to like an event listening to KFI

745
00:36:09,159 --> 00:36:10,760
like I've always been. I got married at twenty, you know,

746
00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:14,280
I've always been more conservative, but at the time, the

747
00:36:14,559 --> 00:36:16,039
kind of, like I said, the biggest leftist lie I

748
00:36:16,079 --> 00:36:19,360
fell for was thinking, okay, well, over population, like there's

749
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,880
too many people on the planet, there's not enough resources,

750
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:25,199
and holding hands with well, what's the big deal about

751
00:36:25,199 --> 00:36:28,599
my DNA? Why would I need to duplicate my own DNA?

752
00:36:28,679 --> 00:36:30,760
Like if there's all these kids that need homes, that

753
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,119
need moms and dads, like, why would I need to

754
00:36:33,159 --> 00:36:35,719
have any children? And now, to me, those are almost

755
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,039
you know, separate things. There obviously are orphans, kids that

756
00:36:39,119 --> 00:36:43,400
need mom, moms and dads. Now, without going to conspiratorial

757
00:36:43,519 --> 00:36:47,039
through our journey, our eyes were opened a lot to oh,

758
00:36:47,079 --> 00:36:50,480
there is corruption in our opinion, not only within CPS

759
00:36:50,519 --> 00:36:53,960
that we started kind of seeing that's almost a yeah,

760
00:36:54,039 --> 00:36:56,679
separate topic, but we experienced that, but also when we

761
00:36:56,679 --> 00:36:59,800
were looking at adopting internationally, we confronted or we saw

762
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:02,320
what we started to believe, like, okay, I think there

763
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:05,119
might be human trafficking going on here. And you know,

764
00:37:05,159 --> 00:37:07,199
it wasn't so clear that we could get on the

765
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:11,159
internet and be like, hey, everyone, there's human trafficking happening here.

766
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:13,760
But stuff started presenting itself, and then we started reading

767
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,880
certain blog articles and encountering things that we were like

768
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:20,000
I think there might be trafficking going on here. Just

769
00:37:20,199 --> 00:37:22,880
very weird. The whole idea of how many orphans there

770
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:27,199
actually were, the whole idea of how many kids actually

771
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:28,840
needed to be ripped out of their homes in the

772
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:31,679
States and replaced with new family it just all started

773
00:37:31,679 --> 00:37:38,079
being a big, giant, confusing pot of questions. Honestly and basically,

774
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,280
after we had gone through this whole journey of like

775
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:44,960
looking at international adoption, looking at domestic private adoption, looking

776
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:48,280
at fostering with the possibility like fostering to adopt, we

777
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,039
ended up getting through the end of our journey with

778
00:37:51,079 --> 00:37:53,239
this foster program, which was like it was a few

779
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,039
months long, full of like blood work and psychological interviews

780
00:37:56,079 --> 00:38:00,360
and evaluations and letters written by family members. We had

781
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,480
received a call from the agency basically telling us that

782
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,440
if we weren't willing to change the age range that

783
00:38:05,440 --> 00:38:07,280
we were willing to accept that they didn't have a

784
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,039
use for us. Now, on a side note, that was

785
00:38:09,079 --> 00:38:12,480
a completely different story than what we had been told

786
00:38:12,559 --> 00:38:15,360
the whole time through a journey. But I say all

787
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:16,960
that to say that was kind of the final thread

788
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:19,119
for me, and I was like, dude, am I sure

789
00:38:19,159 --> 00:38:20,840
that I don't want to have babies, like I'm getting

790
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:22,360
to the point now where I'm starting to get older,

791
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:26,039
Are you sure, Nikki? So we ended up trying for

792
00:38:26,119 --> 00:38:28,800
a child, got pregnant the first month. That decision was

793
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:33,639
made really fast. But after the cancelation happened with Bowser

794
00:38:34,199 --> 00:38:37,719
about two months after that, everything reared up again. But

795
00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:40,519
not in regards to Bowser. A clip from a video

796
00:38:40,599 --> 00:38:42,480
that we had made when we were documenting our adoption

797
00:38:42,559 --> 00:38:46,519
journey ended up going viral. They took about I think

798
00:38:46,519 --> 00:38:48,639
it's like thirty seconds out of a video that was

799
00:38:48,679 --> 00:38:50,920
over an hour long. Now, besides the fact that the

800
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:53,360
video was over an hour long, that one video was

801
00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:56,599
part of a multi video series. As you can maybe

802
00:38:56,679 --> 00:38:58,639
tell about me now from talking to me, sometimes I'm

803
00:38:58,679 --> 00:39:01,840
honest to a fault. And when we were going through

804
00:39:02,559 --> 00:39:05,000
looking at international adoption, we were looking at different countries.

805
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,320
You know, which country would be the right fit. Every

806
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:11,159
country has different requirements, different things that they allow or

807
00:39:11,199 --> 00:39:13,679
don't allow, And one of the countries that we had

808
00:39:13,719 --> 00:39:17,880
been looking at was Thailand, which, ironically enough, we had

809
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:22,119
actually been giving monetarily to a anti human trafficking program

810
00:39:22,119 --> 00:39:24,840
in Thailand for almost a decade. My dad actually has

811
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:28,400
visited the home over there, and in the video we

812
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,400
had talked about like, hey, we started looking at Thailand

813
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:33,320
as an option, but now it looks like Thailand's not

814
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:36,320
going to work either. And basically what happened was when

815
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:37,960
we were going through all of the things that were

816
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:41,239
laid out, like the qualifications, one of the things on

817
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:45,079
the list was saying that the child cannot appear online

818
00:39:45,119 --> 00:39:48,079
anywhere for a year or they will take them back,

819
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:50,719
or that you run the risk of them taking them back.

820
00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:54,559
Now side note, I say this hesitantly. You decide whether

821
00:39:54,599 --> 00:39:57,000
you want this in or not. That also smells to

822
00:39:57,039 --> 00:39:59,400
me a little odd, a little bit like why wouldn't

823
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,400
you want the child on the internet for a year?

824
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:04,039
It is it because they're gonna look the same for

825
00:40:04,079 --> 00:40:06,000
about a year, they're gonna be more recognizable. Like this

826
00:40:06,039 --> 00:40:09,480
is weird to me. I'm not necessarily making that accusation,

827
00:40:09,679 --> 00:40:11,800
but it smelled really weird.

828
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: I never would have thought of that angle, but that's weird.

829
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:18,039
Speaker 3: Apparently a lot of people didn't. And the reason we

830
00:40:18,119 --> 00:40:21,239
backed out though was not, oh man, we can't put

831
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,599
them in our vlogs, like this is our job for

832
00:40:23,679 --> 00:40:26,239
a living, if there were layers of an onion, Yes,

833
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:28,280
we are online for a living. If they showed up

834
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,280
in the background or whatever, even that could be a

835
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:32,760
risk of them being taken back. Really, it was my

836
00:40:33,199 --> 00:40:36,079
very level headed, my very level headed assistant who was like, Nikki,

837
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,440
you can't guarantee that like a full what if you're

838
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,719
at a birthday party? What if? And this used to

839
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,079
happen to me a lot back then. It doesn't happen

840
00:40:43,119 --> 00:40:45,159
so much now, partially because I spend a lot of

841
00:40:45,199 --> 00:40:48,239
my days at home with my newborn and being a milkmaker.

842
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,039
But back then, I would be out and about and

843
00:40:51,079 --> 00:40:53,360
I would come home and I would open up Twitter

844
00:40:53,639 --> 00:40:56,039
and someone has seen me out and taken a picture

845
00:40:56,039 --> 00:40:58,000
of me, Like, oh, I saw you, but I didn't

846
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,280
want to say hi. I was too nervous. So that's

847
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,519
a picture that was taken. I mean, no big deal,

848
00:41:02,599 --> 00:41:05,320
but like without my consent, I didn't okay this. And

849
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,079
so my assistant was like, dude, you can't. You can't

850
00:41:08,199 --> 00:41:10,840
make that guarantee. You run the risk of taking a

851
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,360
child and then them being ripped apart from you again

852
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:16,639
because your lifestyle does not align with like the requirements

853
00:41:16,639 --> 00:41:19,239
that this country has laid out. So we tried to

854
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,920
explain that I maybe over explained, which I might be

855
00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:24,559
doing right now, but I explained that in the video,

856
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,360
they took a thirty second clip that made it basically

857
00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,599
look like the reason we didn't adopt a child was

858
00:41:29,639 --> 00:41:33,599
because we couldn't exploit them, quote unquote, and that blew

859
00:41:33,679 --> 00:41:36,199
up into its own thing, like literally all over again.

860
00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:40,639
Cover of Fox News, CNN, MSNBC. So it was two

861
00:41:40,639 --> 00:41:43,960
basically two cancelations backed back within a two month period.

862
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,360
And so that's really, to my defense, why I cried

863
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,239
for four months, it's because it like it exploded, and

864
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,000
then we moved here actually shortly after, because when we

865
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:53,880
started getting so many death threats and had to file

866
00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:56,119
police reports, my parents were like, what are you even

867
00:41:56,199 --> 00:41:58,960
doing there? Like just move here now, and we moved here,

868
00:41:59,039 --> 00:42:02,599
and then everything blew up again in regards to the adoption.

869
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,400
And it's crazy too, because the internet's like a bad

870
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,519
game of telephone. Like I still, I mean this last week,

871
00:42:08,559 --> 00:42:12,159
I probably got this comment three to five times from

872
00:42:12,159 --> 00:42:15,199
people saying like why should I listen to you the

873
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:19,280
girl who returned a handicapped child because she couldn't tell Oh,

874
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,679
she couldn't exploit them. I'm like, why we weren't even

875
00:42:21,679 --> 00:42:23,000
in the program? What are you talking about?

876
00:42:23,239 --> 00:42:25,639
Speaker 1: The things people quote know about it?

877
00:42:25,719 --> 00:42:25,880
Speaker 2: Yus?

878
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,639
Speaker 1: It's crazy, right, there's some things that I still get

879
00:42:28,639 --> 00:42:30,280
to this day. And I'll tell you about this in

880
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:34,480
a second. Nicki Philippi's with us. Mike Lindell was a

881
00:42:34,519 --> 00:42:36,599
guy who sold pillows. He was a wacky guy who

882
00:42:36,719 --> 00:42:39,599
sold pillows. He had pillows and all sorts of retail stores.

883
00:42:39,639 --> 00:42:41,960
He'd worked up to My Pillow being in bed Beth

884
00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,280
and beyond, as I recalled, these big stores and you

885
00:42:44,360 --> 00:42:46,119
get a better price online, and you got to work

886
00:42:46,119 --> 00:42:49,000
directly with Lindell at his company My Pillow. Then it

887
00:42:49,079 --> 00:42:52,159
wasn't his support for Trump, it wasn't his support for

888
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:55,880
conservatism or the Lord Jesus. It was elections and that's

889
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:58,480
what made him persona on Groude, even on places like

890
00:42:58,519 --> 00:43:01,119
Fox News, where he has now not really been able

891
00:43:01,159 --> 00:43:04,599
to appear. So Mike keeps going. He's an energizer, Bunny,

892
00:43:04,599 --> 00:43:06,119
this is a guy who's a former meth addict and

893
00:43:06,199 --> 00:43:08,920
alcohol addict and a gambling addict. To talk to him

894
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:12,679
about that, But recently they did it again there's been

895
00:43:12,719 --> 00:43:16,239
a pretty big setback for the company. There was a

896
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,760
big retail store that said, yeah, we're going to cancel,

897
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:22,400
just hitting up to Black Friday. We're just going to cancel.

898
00:43:23,199 --> 00:43:25,679
It's hard to view this is anything other than a

899
00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:28,440
get back at Mike Lindell. So Lindell does what he does,

900
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,800
is going to take this hit to his company and

901
00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,559
offer it to us as our opportunity. Right now, you

902
00:43:34,599 --> 00:43:36,639
can go to my Pillow dot com, slash todd and

903
00:43:36,719 --> 00:43:39,920
use promo code Todd. You'll get the standard my Pillow

904
00:43:40,039 --> 00:43:42,840
at the lowest price that's ever existed fourteen eighty eight,

905
00:43:43,239 --> 00:43:46,079
Queen Size My Pillow eighteen eighty eight, King Sized My

906
00:43:46,159 --> 00:43:49,079
Pillow nineteen eighty eight, Body Pillows twenty nine eighty eight,

907
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,840
Multi Use My Pillows nine eighty eight, and all of

908
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,599
these things are machine washable and drabble. They puff up,

909
00:43:55,639 --> 00:43:58,280
they formed to your head. I just washed my my

910
00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:00,559
pillow that I've had for about eight years now, and

911
00:44:00,599 --> 00:44:03,239
it was if it was absolutely brand new. These are

912
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:06,000
available in four loft levels for a more custom faith

913
00:44:06,119 --> 00:44:09,400
fit My Pillow keeps it fit again. If it flattens out,

914
00:44:09,400 --> 00:44:11,280
you put it in the washlet. The dryer. So let's

915
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,679
take this thing, this hit against Lindell. Let's come back

916
00:44:14,760 --> 00:44:16,639
with him and fight against this. Go to my pillow

917
00:44:16,679 --> 00:44:19,079
dot com slash Todd use promo code Todd to get

918
00:44:19,079 --> 00:44:21,519
the standard my Pillow for only fourteen eighty eight. That's

919
00:44:21,559 --> 00:44:24,199
the lowest price ever. Use promo code Todd for discounts

920
00:44:24,199 --> 00:44:27,440
on the entire my Pillow Classic collection. It's my pillow

921
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,800
dot com slash Todd. That's Todd my pillow dot com

922
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:35,519
slash Todd. I was talking to you about meeting the

923
00:44:35,559 --> 00:44:40,280
mob and about that experience and what you've met and

924
00:44:40,280 --> 00:44:44,519
what you've been through. And let's say one more instance,

925
00:44:44,559 --> 00:44:46,119
and then I want to ask you a question. Okay,

926
00:44:47,039 --> 00:44:50,280
I was speaking at George Shown University and once again

927
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:53,639
they came after my daughter. So I was setting up

928
00:44:53,639 --> 00:44:56,320
to speak and I had my desktop was showing on

929
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,480
the on the projector behind me, and there was a

930
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:02,239
picture of my daughter and this guy sitting in the

931
00:45:02,239 --> 00:45:04,800
front row says and he's there early. He goes, that's

932
00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:08,000
your daughter. Go yeah, yeah, So you give my speech

933
00:45:08,639 --> 00:45:12,880
and afterwards he raised his hand. I said yeah, he goes, yeah.

934
00:45:13,039 --> 00:45:15,159
I'm the guy who asked if that was your daughter earlier.

935
00:45:16,679 --> 00:45:20,519
You know, I hope she dies of throat cancer, and

936
00:45:20,559 --> 00:45:23,079
I hope there's nothing you can do for her. I

937
00:45:23,119 --> 00:45:25,400
hope it's painful and it takes two or three years

938
00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:29,079
and there's nothing you can do. And the place starts

939
00:45:29,119 --> 00:45:31,760
to boo. I mean to the defense of these college students.

940
00:45:31,800 --> 00:45:33,760
They start to boo. I said, no, no, let him talk.

941
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:38,199
He goes, well, you don't want other people to have

942
00:45:38,239 --> 00:45:42,159
access to healthcare, so why should she? This is Obamacare?

943
00:45:42,199 --> 00:45:43,000
Speaker 3: What in comparison?

944
00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:44,159
Speaker 2: Right?

945
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, well, she's here. She's in the room,

946
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:55,159
so she's seated up in the back row, So honey,

947
00:45:55,159 --> 00:45:59,000
would you stand up? And people turned around and he

948
00:45:59,079 --> 00:46:01,320
turned around and I said, yeah, I got you. She's

949
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:02,760
not really here because I wouldn't burn her in such

950
00:46:02,800 --> 00:46:08,119
a place. You're threatening a little girl because you say

951
00:46:08,119 --> 00:46:09,960
I don't want people have access to health care. I do.

952
00:46:10,039 --> 00:46:11,760
I just don't think Obamacare will do that. I think

953
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:13,960
it will destroy access to health care. And if that

954
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:18,119
doesn't explain my position, I'm pretty sure if you're will

955
00:46:18,159 --> 00:46:20,880
need to take off the contact Philip watch that your

956
00:46:20,920 --> 00:46:22,920
parents give you as part of your trust fund. In

957
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:24,639
the three thousand dollars sweatsuit. I don't want it to

958
00:46:24,679 --> 00:46:26,599
get dirty. You and I could go out back and

959
00:46:26,599 --> 00:46:30,440
we could probably figure this out real quick. Well, I

960
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,760
was just saying, I say, yeah, I know you were

961
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:36,480
just saying, so meeting the mob, you met the mob,

962
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:41,440
But then Jesus met the mob. And I think about

963
00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:45,199
our Savior and the things that were no doubt said

964
00:46:45,199 --> 00:46:50,440
to him on the way to the cross, and save yourself.

965
00:46:51,000 --> 00:46:53,320
You saved others, save yourself. Look at you now, King

966
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:58,119
of the Jews, and that thing he said just before

967
00:46:58,119 --> 00:47:02,760
he died about his manors. Forgive them, father, they know

968
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:09,039
not what they do. How are you with forgiveness?

969
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:12,079
Speaker 3: Oh? I don't even know how to answer that question.

970
00:47:12,119 --> 00:47:14,280
That's that was a much more profound question than I

971
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:18,119
expected you to ask. I mean, I want to say uh,

972
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:21,039
I want to say good like I'm not, you know,

973
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:22,599
but that at the same time, I know that I'm

974
00:47:22,639 --> 00:47:25,800
a sinner, and I know that you know. My feelings

975
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:29,639
on the mob in general kind of change day to day.

976
00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:33,320
I will say, within the last few months, more than

977
00:47:33,519 --> 00:47:36,079
more than anger at people, I've felt a lot of

978
00:47:36,159 --> 00:47:40,119
shame at times, and just embarrassment like I should have known,

979
00:47:40,199 --> 00:47:43,719
like why Why did I share all of this? But

980
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,039
I feel like God's lifted a lot of that from

981
00:47:46,079 --> 00:47:48,920
me recently, So I don't Yeah, I don't know. I

982
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,079
didn't expect you to ask that. I almost don't have

983
00:47:51,119 --> 00:47:51,639
an answer.

984
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 1: How does your heart feel?

985
00:47:53,559 --> 00:47:56,079
Speaker 3: I mean depends on the day and the time.

986
00:47:56,559 --> 00:47:57,519
Speaker 1: How does it feel right now?

987
00:47:59,039 --> 00:48:03,239
Speaker 3: Well you asking me that, I guess it feels kind

988
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:06,960
of kind of sad. I go towards sadness more than anger,

989
00:48:07,559 --> 00:48:10,840
you know. I don't you know when you said that,

990
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:12,840
like I have kind of a soft touch, I don't

991
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,960
tend to go towards like I don't tend to be

992
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:17,320
a fighter. I don't tend to go as much towards

993
00:48:17,320 --> 00:48:21,480
like anger and rage. I tend to more like shut

994
00:48:21,519 --> 00:48:23,880
down and kind of fall under the weight of people's

995
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:25,199
hate and anger.

996
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:25,599
Speaker 4: You know.

997
00:48:25,679 --> 00:48:28,159
Speaker 3: So when you've told me your stories of confronting the

998
00:48:28,159 --> 00:48:30,079
mob and like how strong you've been, I'm like, man,

999
00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:32,480
I want to be more like that because I kind

1000
00:48:32,480 --> 00:48:34,400
of tend to like melt under it.

1001
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:37,280
Speaker 1: So wait, wait, you haven't melted.

1002
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:38,960
Speaker 3: You're sitting right here, Thank you.

1003
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,679
Speaker 1: You haven't melted, and you are strong in a different way.

1004
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 3: Well, I appreciate that.

1005
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,519
Speaker 1: I don't know that it's that strong to threaten to

1006
00:48:45,639 --> 00:48:46,360
jack a guy up.

1007
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:49,320
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, I mean you said that to me last

1008
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:50,800
time too, And I was like, I'll take that. I

1009
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:56,679
appreciate that. But yeah, I mean I don't I don't

1010
00:48:57,039 --> 00:49:01,360
sit and think about being angry at them all the time. Yeah, man,

1011
00:49:01,400 --> 00:49:02,880
I really don't even I feel like I'm at such

1012
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,960
a loss for words. I don't even know what to say.

1013
00:49:05,079 --> 00:49:07,519
Speaker 1: But forgive. This is such a weird process. I was

1014
00:49:07,559 --> 00:49:12,519
talking to my daughter about this. You know, she suffered

1015
00:49:12,519 --> 00:49:19,840
some significant harm and we had a sermon at church

1016
00:49:19,880 --> 00:49:21,559
and it was about forgiveness, and she and I were

1017
00:49:21,599 --> 00:49:27,199
visiting about that afterwards, and she said, well, some people

1018
00:49:27,280 --> 00:49:29,920
just don't deserve it. I don't want to do that.

1019
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,199
I don't want to call them and tell them. And

1020
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,880
I said, oh wait, wait, wait, wait, you thought you

1021
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:42,039
have to tell them? She said, I don't. No, no,

1022
00:49:42,079 --> 00:49:46,360
you tell Jesus. And let me ask you this, honey,

1023
00:49:46,440 --> 00:49:51,119
you forgiving them in confession to the Lord Jesus. What

1024
00:49:51,159 --> 00:49:52,039
does that do for them?

1025
00:49:53,599 --> 00:49:54,039
Speaker 2: She said?

1026
00:49:55,639 --> 00:50:04,400
Speaker 1: Nothing? Right, what does it do for you? And I

1027
00:50:04,400 --> 00:50:10,039
shared with her, he who extends mercy will receive it.

1028
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:12,559
I'm not saying you're not a merciful person. I know

1029
00:50:12,639 --> 00:50:17,239
you to be, but that discovery to her that wait,

1030
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,280
I'm not doing this for them, Know, you're doing this

1031
00:50:19,280 --> 00:50:22,960
because you love Jesus. I wonder what our world would

1032
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:27,719
be like if we forgave the big things as easily

1033
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:29,519
as sort of the little things. What was done to

1034
00:50:29,519 --> 00:50:31,280
you is not a little thing. It's a big thing.

1035
00:50:33,000 --> 00:50:36,039
But for instance, what if we forgive political enemies in

1036
00:50:36,079 --> 00:50:39,320
our heart every morning? How different would our day be

1037
00:50:40,159 --> 00:50:42,239
when we sit down to concern political news and in

1038
00:50:42,280 --> 00:50:45,320
advance say I forgive all these people for all the

1039
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:48,320
evil that's being done through them. I mean, I don't

1040
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:49,280
want to go too deep.

1041
00:50:49,199 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 3: But no, I mean you're making my wheels turn and

1042
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:52,760
you're kind of making me think about the fact. This

1043
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,719
is like a live on therapy or on screen therapy session. Okay,

1044
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,719
you're making me think about the fact that like maybe

1045
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,519
I've been sitting more in a place of like don't

1046
00:51:00,519 --> 00:51:03,360
be angry, like more neutrality type of thing, like let

1047
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,960
it go. But I've I mean, yeah, you're making me

1048
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,840
realize I've never I've never gone to the Lord in

1049
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:12,000
prayer and like asked for him to give me a

1050
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,360
feeling of forgiveness towards them, like help me to forgive them.

1051
00:51:14,679 --> 00:51:16,360
I've never done that. I think that's maybe why I

1052
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:18,360
was caught off guard, because I've really just been trying

1053
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:20,159
to sit in this camp of like, like I said,

1054
00:51:20,199 --> 00:51:23,960
more neutrality, like Okay, well, you know they're in the wrong,

1055
00:51:24,079 --> 00:51:26,840
Like I know my worldview, I know what I feel

1056
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:30,039
like the Lord has called us to do. But yeah,

1057
00:51:30,119 --> 00:51:33,480
that's you're definitely giving me something to bring to God

1058
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:34,719
in prayer. That's really good.

1059
00:51:35,880 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 1: Good. Yeah, I think we owe it to ourselves to

1060
00:51:39,559 --> 00:51:42,239
examine that, and I know that there's probably things I

1061
00:51:42,239 --> 00:51:45,960
should forgive to talk with this so close this off

1062
00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,239
for us, Like what what do you think God is

1063
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,679
calling you to do? Specifically? I know you've been pregnant

1064
00:51:51,679 --> 00:51:53,920
this you might not have an answer. Maybe it's continuing

1065
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:55,480
to do what you're doing. You live in the high

1066
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:57,239
Mountains of Free American I.

1067
00:51:57,159 --> 00:51:58,880
Speaker 3: Love that you call it that, By the way, I think.

1068
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:00,320
Speaker 1: That's kind of accurate, right.

1069
00:52:00,599 --> 00:52:02,239
Speaker 3: I think it's a radio show host thing to like

1070
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,639
have a name for the area. I like the one

1071
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,199
you've coined. I'm like, that's perfect.

1072
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,119
Speaker 1: I know in a podcasting area're just supposed to start

1073
00:52:09,119 --> 00:52:10,039
talking with the people, but.

1074
00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:11,119
Speaker 3: I can't perfect.

1075
00:52:11,159 --> 00:52:12,800
Speaker 1: I love it, the little radio habits.

1076
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:14,079
Speaker 3: I didn't mean that it's a slam. I like that

1077
00:52:14,159 --> 00:52:14,719
you named it.

1078
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 1: What do you think God is calling you to do? Professionally?

1079
00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:22,039
And I don't know that you separate that from being

1080
00:52:22,079 --> 00:52:23,639
don't call yourself a milkmaker. I got it.

1081
00:52:24,320 --> 00:52:24,480
Speaker 3: I know.

1082
00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,400
Speaker 1: I'm sure that women who have.

1083
00:52:28,400 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 3: To be It is one of my top jobs in

1084
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:32,519
life right now. Which actually, you know, when I was

1085
00:52:32,599 --> 00:52:36,280
talking about the adoption thing, it's incredible because what that

1086
00:52:36,320 --> 00:52:38,320
the path that that led me down, I did not

1087
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:41,639
expect in a million years. I did not realize that

1088
00:52:41,639 --> 00:52:43,559
that would lead me towards okay, yes, just you know,

1089
00:52:43,599 --> 00:52:45,880
having my own biological child. No, that led me on

1090
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:48,880
the path towards this whole world of medical freedom, this

1091
00:52:49,000 --> 00:52:51,760
whole world of like, oh, in my opinion, I'm a

1092
00:52:51,760 --> 00:52:53,480
little bit radical when it comes to the birth thing.

1093
00:52:53,639 --> 00:52:56,599
My eyes, in my opinion, have been opened to the

1094
00:52:56,679 --> 00:52:59,599
fact that birth is something, and I realized there are emergencies.

1095
00:52:59,599 --> 00:53:02,360
This is not a shaming thing for women that have

1096
00:53:02,440 --> 00:53:05,519
had actual emergencies, And praise God for the hospitals when

1097
00:53:05,559 --> 00:53:08,280
there really are emergencies, but I think that it's something

1098
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:11,519
that God made women to do that has completely been

1099
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:15,280
twisted and altered and the whole experience has been I mean, dude,

1100
00:53:15,280 --> 00:53:16,559
I could go off on a whole thing about that.

1101
00:53:16,679 --> 00:53:18,760
And I did not expect that, like having my babies

1102
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:22,000
at home. The minute I met them, it was such

1103
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:25,199
a like almost one of my first thoughts was, this

1104
00:53:25,239 --> 00:53:27,119
is why they don't want people to have babies. Like,

1105
00:53:27,119 --> 00:53:29,599
even if I hadn't had that natural birth experience, I

1106
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:32,000
think it's still the same thing. But I think that

1107
00:53:32,079 --> 00:53:34,159
all of it kind of builds together and holds hands

1108
00:53:34,159 --> 00:53:37,880
and it's like, wow, this natural birth experience in my environment,

1109
00:53:37,960 --> 00:53:40,760
in my home, grabbing my baby and holding them, it's like,

1110
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,239
I mean, it's one of the closest feelings I've ever

1111
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:45,679
had to God, because this person just comes out of

1112
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:48,360
you and you're like what, they're looking at you, they're crying,

1113
00:53:48,360 --> 00:53:51,280
they're making noise, and you're like a brand new person,

1114
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:55,159
Like what it's I mean, I have chills because it

1115
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:59,000
was so soul altering and so yes, the milkmaker joke

1116
00:53:59,159 --> 00:54:01,320
is a joke, but that's a whole other thing. I

1117
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:03,800
could go off on, like a rant about formula and

1118
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:05,679
the lives that have been sold to women, about their

1119
00:54:05,719 --> 00:54:09,320
bodies not working properly, and what milk like the fact

1120
00:54:09,320 --> 00:54:13,039
that God made us to make that milk for our babies.

1121
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,760
Immune systems are meant to be built a certain way,

1122
00:54:15,800 --> 00:54:17,880
and I think that making milk is part of that.

1123
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,400
So I am kidding, and that I'm not kidding because

1124
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,440
I do believe that is one of the top jobs

1125
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,559
that God has for me right now, is establishing my

1126
00:54:25,639 --> 00:54:27,880
baby's lives through being a milkmaker.

1127
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 1: No, that's perfect. No, but the fake that these people

1128
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:35,239
are making another run at breast milk is not healthy.

1129
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:38,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh exactly. We're going to give you some unbelievable.

1130
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:39,519
Speaker 1: And they did that early on. They did that to me.

1131
00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:42,920
My mom gave into that, I think because a pediatrician said, right,

1132
00:54:43,199 --> 00:54:46,719
and but the powder, the powder, missus Herman. I know

1133
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:47,719
it's going to be so much, and I.

1134
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:48,840
Speaker 3: Know you and I are on the same page in

1135
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:50,320
regards to all of that. I've seen you talk enough

1136
00:54:50,320 --> 00:54:52,960
about this where he gets it. Yeah, oh bad, But

1137
00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:54,719
I didn't mean to not answer your question. To answer

1138
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:57,079
your question, which is kind of still a non answer,

1139
00:54:57,119 --> 00:54:58,679
but it's a little bit of an answer. You know.

1140
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:02,840
You had me start that book Experiencing God, and I'm

1141
00:55:02,880 --> 00:55:05,199
going through it slowly. It takes me a minute. I'm

1142
00:55:05,199 --> 00:55:07,639
also in another Bible study right now, but in I

1143
00:55:07,639 --> 00:55:11,159
think it was chapter one, he talks about really what

1144
00:55:11,199 --> 00:55:14,119
my answer is to you, which is that we don't

1145
00:55:14,199 --> 00:55:17,159
have to know the whole plan in order to move forward.

1146
00:55:17,639 --> 00:55:20,400
And what I have known for the last three years

1147
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:24,239
since the cancelation happened is like, Okay, my path forward

1148
00:55:24,280 --> 00:55:27,519
is not super clear, but God has made it clear

1149
00:55:27,639 --> 00:55:30,400
to me, my husband and my immediate family that I'm

1150
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,280
not supposed to stop. You know, we did some marriage

1151
00:55:33,320 --> 00:55:37,199
counseling after everything went down, and it was pastoral counseling,

1152
00:55:37,519 --> 00:55:39,679
and the pastor echoed the same sentiment. He's like, dude,

1153
00:55:39,679 --> 00:55:42,760
if your husband, your family, you are not getting because

1154
00:55:42,800 --> 00:55:44,840
I'm like, maybe this is a sign I'm supposed to stop.

1155
00:55:45,039 --> 00:55:46,960
He's like, nah, I don't think that's what's going on

1156
00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:50,280
if you're not getting a clear like stop. And so

1157
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,840
at this point, I don't know where God's bringing me,

1158
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,800
but I'm continuing to move forward. I am very passionate,

1159
00:55:55,800 --> 00:55:57,840
as you can tell about a lot of topics. So

1160
00:55:57,880 --> 00:56:00,840
I'm going to continue to share, keep creating, praying for

1161
00:56:00,920 --> 00:56:04,599
God's wisdom and guidance. But I don't have a clear

1162
00:56:05,079 --> 00:56:07,760
trajectory like this is what I'm doing. See you all

1163
00:56:07,800 --> 00:56:10,280
there in four years, you know, five years. So I'm

1164
00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:12,400
just going to keep going forward and see what where

1165
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:13,039
God leads me.

1166
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,960
Speaker 1: It will involve I'm predicting and far for me to

1167
00:56:16,000 --> 00:56:20,519
put God. It will evolve communicating, and involve this great

1168
00:56:20,559 --> 00:56:23,400
skill that He's given you, this conversational skill of people

1169
00:56:23,440 --> 00:56:26,360
listening feel like they're being talked with. So I appreciate

1170
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:29,840
you coming on and what you're doing, and I accept

1171
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,239
your kind offer to be on your program, which is

1172
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,920
on YouTube much more successful than mine. But I beat

1173
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:36,960
you in the audio sphere exactly. I beat you in

1174
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:37,760
the audiosphere.

1175
00:56:37,840 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 3: Dude, I appreciate you bringing me on. You are the

1176
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first person, really I've had. I've had kind of a

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conversation about this with my friend Abby, but I haven't

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really gotten to talk about this with people. And I've

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been saying since I met you, like mom, I think

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he is the perfect person to talk about this with

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because he gets it. So I appreciate you bringing me

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on your show. I'm really excited to interview you on mine.

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You're actually going to be the first episode of my

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brand new, relaunched podcast, so that's gonna be exciting. And

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I just I appreciate you and the work you're doing.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Nicky. Appreciate it all right, this is a

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Todd Herman show. Please go, be well, be strong, be kind,

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and please make every effort to walk in the life

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of Christ.