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Speaker 1: Creativity is an addiction unplugged because we will always say

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yes to creativity, totally uncut because we all make mistakes,

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So turn it into a tool. This is arrow unplugged,

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Hey's aero, and this is vocal d FRAG right now,

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before we hit the path, because we do what's called

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a transition walk. We walk through the forest and we

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listen to the atmosphere of now and we receive from

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that as well as share it with anybody who's willing

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to travel beside us. But before we go out there,

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I've always taken notes. That's just who I am because

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I have a d FRAG journal. You ask the questions,

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you question the answers, And one of the things that

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I wrote in the d FRAG journal today was based

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on that I don't own the fuel to create the fire.

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How many times have you been in a position like that?

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You don't own the fuel to create the fire, nor

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do you have the wood to keep that fire alive.

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That's a big picture because a lot of people, as

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you grow in age and in strength as well as knowledge,

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they won't go back to who they once were, yet

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they yearn for that moment. What would be like if

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I had continued, or if they would have just believed

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in me a little bit more. And so the answer

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sometimes comes to us that you don't own the fuel

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to create the fire, nor do you have the wood

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to keep that fire alive. In my d frag journal,

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I asked the question the little stuff is stuff that

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you forget? And I came back with words of argument,

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and I said, no, I set everything aside. I can't

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forget if it's sitting in front of me. I get

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so disappointed with myself when I can't find the follow through.

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When do you get disappointed with yourself? Is it because

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you personally can't locate the follow through? This is vocal

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d frag. We're going to hit the path here in

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a couple of seconds. I would love for you to

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walk with us. Okay, it's Jazzy and I in this

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beautiful forest in South Charlotte, North Carolina. We'll be right back. Okay,

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we're out on the path. It's a beautiful spring morning

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in Caroline. Words that come to me it was like,

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where along the path of twenty nine years of daily

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writing did I start to see strength in things that

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I put on paper. First of all, I don't think

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i'm a brilliant writer, because none of my books really sell.

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I just do it because it's like I'm told to

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do it. You know, you're moving through, moving through the anxiety,

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moving through the fear, the shame, the dreams. You know

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I can do this. I'm going to move through it.

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We're going to see it happen. But it was when

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I was putting together my first book, One man'senty twenty

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one Thoughts. It was really supposed to be a book

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of poetry, poetry because I challenged myself to write a

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thousand pieces of poetry in a thousand days. But when

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I was going back through the daily writing, what I

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felt in my heart wasn't the poetry, but it was

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rather the words and the messages of a creative mind

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that was asking questions and then questioning answers. And so

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I had to learn how to grow with that. And

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when I invite you to take up writing, it's not

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because I want you to instantly find your forgiveness, your compassion,

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your belief in the things that you want to do.

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Because writing is like meditation, it's going to take years

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to trust it, to grow with it. So when words

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fall out of the writing instrument, trust me. They're not

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coming from me, They're coming from the writing instrument. Ah,

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I'm just there. I just happen to be lucky enough

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to say, all right, I'm going to write this, and

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the words come out that I don't own the fuel

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to create the fire, nor do I have the wood

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to keep that fire alive that's supposed to reach somebody

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as much as it empowered me. In that moment of writing,

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I felt like that this is the subject that we

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need to do. That we are always consistently moving in

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the direction of other people's fuel, the fuel they need

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to start the fire so their business or their personal

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life can have success. And you're used as that would

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to keep that fire alive. But what happens with the

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wood when the storms come in, your mental storms, your

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daily questions, your daily doubts. All of a sudden, that

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fire begins to calm. And the reason why is because

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there's not enough fuel to put a fire on that

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wood if it's been raining and that wood is now damp.

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Going through the motions of understanding who you are is

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every reason why I started a defragged journal. Defragging is

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questioning and then questioning the answers, allowing things, little thoughts

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that maybe someone in my life would say, you what

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fuel fire? Would what? That's kind of stupid? Why would

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you even talk about something like that? And my answer

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always is why not? What if? What if? And because

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the thing is is I'm not ever going to get

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it back because I was writing in that moment, and

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I did put those words on paper, trust me, out

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here in this gorgeous forest in South Charlotte, North Carolina.

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Do you really think if I hadn't written it down

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that we would be talking about it right now. I

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guarantee inside my soul that it wouldn't be the subject

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that we're talking right now if I had not written

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it down. And it makes me wonder, what are you

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needing to do to write things down? It's just a

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sheet of paper, it's just a pencil, it's just a pin. Yeah,

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but this is what I always get in return from writers. Well, yeah,

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but I'm really afraid of what other people are going

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to say. Yeah, you gotta get over that too, because

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as a creative mind, you have to understand none of

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this is for you. That was a huge bullet to bite.

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When I was putting paint on a canvas, I had

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all of these beautiful paintings in my art room, and

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it was adding up, and it was adding up. I

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was running out of room to even stand inside the

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art room. What was I going to do? And then

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someone said, put it in a gallery, sell it. Being

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the unprofessional that I was and probably still am, I

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knew nothing about that. But then the people came around me.

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It was almost like the universe was saying, you release

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that art. I will put leaders on your path and

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it will happen. And it did. But I often wonder

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when I stare at these paintings, the few that I

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have left because I've sold all of them, I wonder

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what would have happened if I had not listened to

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that calling to put paint on a can us. The

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same is true about daily writing, getting control and the

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ownership of the fuel that starts the fire, and then

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admitting to yourself and to others, I am the wood

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that will keep that fire alive. I am the wood

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that will not become damp because of my days of doubt.

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It will not become damp during my days of fear.

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I am the wood, and I own the fuel. But okay,

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hold on second here, dude. You said something about moving

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through something before you went out on the path I did.

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I did. I'm the type of person I do not

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like it if I forget something. If I have projects

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to do, I physically put those projects in front of

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me in my living room and my writing space. And

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the reason why is because it serves as a reminder

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of this is what you've got to do. So it's

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not that I am lazy or I am forgetful in

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my methods of madness, of setting things aside, putting it

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over here, putting it over there. My most difficult moments

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are locating that ability and that mindset to move through

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my excuses of not wanting to do what's right there

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in front of me. Now, I'm going to turn it

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on you on d Frank. I'm gonna question you, and

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I'm gonna question your answers. How many things in your

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own personal life have you always wanted to do? Or

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maybe you've got to do this around the house, maybe

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this in the backyard. Listen, I'm not gonna lie to you.

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I'm gonna be very transparent. In nineteen ninety seven, when

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we planted seventeen hundred trees in this beautiful forest in

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South Charlotte, North Carolina. Do you know the real reason

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why I planted those trees? You can't turn on me. Okay,

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the real reason is because I got tired of mowing

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my lawn. I was like, well, if I turn this

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into a forest and we make this natural, I don't

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have to mow the lawn anymore. I mean, my land

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is built out over hills. To get out there to

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mow the lawn, that was not one day, that was

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several days of work. And what about all those huge

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rocks that are out there? How do I get rid

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of that? So I went from a home depot Low's

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Picture magazine yard to one of thost beautiful things I've

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ever seen, a forest. But I wish I would have

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done it in the way of saying, hey, replenishing the

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land that man destroyed by putting all these houses here.

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I can kind of say that, but when I do,

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I'm not sharing the truth. What are the things that

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are standing in the way of you that could be

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great for someone else? Remember, it's moving through you. We're

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all artists. It's got to move through you in order

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to have a larger than life event beyond you. You're

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just here for a moment, but you know what the

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things that you create last well beyond the next two

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or three generations. I would love to talk to the

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future reader and or a writer that will walk through

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this forest and they feel the same thing that I

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did in nineteen ninety two. That it was like, Oh, no,

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you gotta be kidding me. I got it right, That's

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what I heard while sitting in this forest. It was

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tiny at that time, it really was. It was tiny.

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It was this beautiful lawn with some natural trees, Carolta

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trees and even the gumball trees and things like that

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that people really kind of rip down, you know, the

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ugly trees. And there was like a little swarm of

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trees over here that you know, people would have just

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chopped down right away because it wasn't perfect like a

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Low's magazine cover. But when we went in there with

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honest to God, North Carolina pines and elms and we

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designed this forest, it was done so in a way

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of loving the land, not only in that day in

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nineteen ninety seven. That day hell to plant seventeen hundred

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trees took me almost a month and a half. My God,

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and those packages kept coming and kept coming and kept coming.

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But today, we're here in this beautiful forest as the

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spring sunshine is on us. I'm overlooking this gorgeous lake.

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You can hear the hawk in the distance. I've seen

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the deer this morning. It's beautiful. They didn't have a

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place to run to because man had ripped the land.

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So we're going to go back to the original fond

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And that is who owns the fuel that starts the fire,

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who has the physical and mental shaping of creating the

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wood that keeps that fire alive. I believe deep inside

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my soul that my Defragg writing started in November of

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twenty seventeen because I knew in my heart that I

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was no longer the owner of the fuel to start

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the fire. I knew in my heart that the people

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that I was working with they made me the wood.

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What they didn't see was how I became damp, tattered

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and torn by termites. I was breaking down. I was

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not the type of wood that was going to keep

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them in a strong, strong form of energy. Because this

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forest has been a part of my life since nineteen

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ninety seven, I've seen a lot of trees come down.

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I don't remove the stumps or the limbs, those limbs

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were there to feed the soil so that future trees

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could have enough nutrients to grow. The forest floor is

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as natural as it can be because I know what's

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required in order to reach not this generation, but several

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more in front of us. Who owns the fuel that

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starts your fire? How do you become the wood to

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keep your fire burning? It's a tough question. And when

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you get an answer, question that answer, and after coming

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up with another question and another question, what is your

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follow through? What is that place that you know that

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the door is there, but you can no longer ignore it.

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You're going to have to take a leap of faith.

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You're going to have to reach out there and do

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something that so many other people will probably look at

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you and say, you got to be kidn me.

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Speaker 2: That was a stupid bird brain idea. Yeah, but you

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know what you did it, and the reason why you

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did it is because it's preparing you for something even greater.

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With that experience, you become stronger with the idea of

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owning your wood and owning the field that becomes the fire, you.

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Speaker 1: Have the strength to create the follow through. I'm presently

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going up heart break heel. We've talked about this many

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times on vocal d frag. It's a huge hill. Many many,

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many bicyclists, walkers, joggers, and even skateboarders come here to

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our breakhill. So to climb this hill, it strengthens my heart.

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It's my moving through a difficult thing. It's making sure

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that my heart rate is up to feed the blood

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into my mind, body and soul, the blood that will

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be required to become my fuel. Because we are the

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wood and we own it, we now have the follow

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through vocal Drag, I challenge you to do it. Ask

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the questions grow a pair. Ask the real questions, not

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how are you? Not? Hey, are we gonna make it?

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Don't get a damn. Your body doesn't give a damn

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about that. It wants real questions, and then h question

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the answers. Be the fuel, be the wood, be the

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follow through. Hi, Maril, and that spoke will be Frank