Speaker 1: What's a moon bag of floaty? Is that even a thing?
Speaker 2: Do you want to know what floaty is?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Go on, then floaty is is a dog.
Speaker 4: So floaty token was a new generation of dog coins.
Speaker 4: There's a whole host of crypto dog coins, and some
Speaker 4: of them do very very well, especially when we start
Speaker 4: to see that there's not much money in the system,
Speaker 4: and then there starts to become money in the system.
Speaker 2: People decide to invest.
Speaker 4: In in speculative assets in their droves. So things like
Speaker 4: doge coin and floaty and fart coin tend to do
Speaker 4: really well.
Speaker 2: So it's a crazy world we live in.
Speaker 1: You see, I'm.
Speaker 2: Come along in the journey. We will teach you.
Speaker 1: No, I don't want to go anywhere near that journey,
Speaker 1: but I do want to see. Rachel Reeves stood in
Speaker 1: front of an assembled throng of blokes who work in
Speaker 1: an engineering company and their bosses told them, Look, you're
Speaker 1: gonna have to stand behind that woman who's got sort
Speaker 1: of hair that looks like a motorcycle helmet. Who are Yeah,
Speaker 1: got to stand behind her, and she's going to talk,
Speaker 1: and you've got to look interested and don't pull funny faces.
Speaker 1: And they're going okay, and she stands up. She said, well,
Speaker 1: the government will focused on gaining growth and it's all
Speaker 1: going to be done through fart coin. Now, if she
Speaker 1: did that, I would suddenly have a new found respect
Speaker 1: for the Chancellor of the Exchequer. If she said, listen, lads,
Speaker 1: I'm actually going to go and put the Bank of
Speaker 1: England on fart coin, that would actually be a tick
Speaker 1: in the box finally for this labor government fart coin.
Speaker 5: This weekend, one of Britain's foremost nature writers asked me,
Speaker 5: have you listened to that podcast that Richard Nigus does.
Speaker 5: It's okay, but he talks about Rachel Reeves a lot.
Speaker 1: Obviously didn't listen that much, foremost nature writer, because he's
Speaker 1: talking about me. What a Well, of course I talk
Speaker 1: about Rachel Reeves because, and I'll tell you why I
Speaker 1: talk about Rachel Reeves is because I've come to the
Speaker 1: conclusion that she is, largely with her colleagues in the Treasury,
Speaker 1: is largely the cause of all our woes. You know,
Speaker 1: clearly Keir Starmo isn't actually the Prime Minister. He's just
Speaker 1: sitting there sort of what's that sort of coloring thing
Speaker 1: that you do that looks Mandela is it called or
Speaker 1: is that Nelson Mandela Mandola or something like? You do
Speaker 1: this funny coloring thing that's supposed to take your your
Speaker 1: mind off the fact that you know that your life
Speaker 1: is imploding, and if you do coloring is suddenly better.
Speaker 1: And so I think, what that's all Starmer does? He
Speaker 1: just sits in the corner doing all right, and he's
Speaker 1: put all the responsibility onto Rachel and she is now
Speaker 1: just sat there, probably listening to Callum for advice. I
Speaker 1: reckon he's got she's got Callum on speed dial and
Speaker 1: go Callum with fart coin. Yeah, I thought you did well.
Speaker 5: This is the peril of recording in the middle of
Speaker 5: the day because now I don't know if you're you've
Speaker 5: been day drinking, or this is you sort of in
Speaker 5: an unregulated mode.
Speaker 2: I've just had my first sip of sugar after six coffees.
Speaker 1: I've just had some gold blend. It's and that's it.
Speaker 1: Probably see most of the time when I'm when we're
Speaker 1: recording this of an evening, I've got a large whiskey
Speaker 1: which will go and calm me down. And now I've
Speaker 1: been off today this morning to go and look at
Speaker 1: some hedgerows at Willy Lott's Cottage, which those of you
Speaker 1: who are fans of the work of John Constable all
Speaker 1: know Willy Lot's Cottage quite well, that beautiful at Flatford
Speaker 1: there of his paintings. I was there, raced back, organized
Speaker 1: two more hedges to go and look out to people.
Speaker 1: Talked about the management of hedgerow margins with some people
Speaker 1: about how possibly of cutting regimes may go and influence
Speaker 1: overwintering insects. And now I'm here, you see, whereas usually
Speaker 1: I'm speaking to at night half drunk, and this is
Speaker 1: me sober. So how worrying is that.
Speaker 5: Relatively we're getting a different flavor? And I think before
Speaker 5: we go into anything for the rest of the episode,
Speaker 5: and going to drop a disclaimer in saying that we
Speaker 5: are recording this on Tuesday, the tenth of June, so
Speaker 5: tomorrow is the mid year spending review announcements from the government.
Speaker 5: So if everything has gone terribly wrong by the time
Speaker 5: this episode comes out to the public on Friday, the
Speaker 5: reason we're not talking about it is because at the boat,
Speaker 5: which it's just a fear, not a not a known.
Speaker 2: Yeah, genuinely talking about crypto.
Speaker 4: I am one hundred percent sure that at some point
Speaker 4: we'll put bitcoin as like something that we own, not
Speaker 4: just the all the ones that we took off naughty
Speaker 4: people and confiscated, but we will have on a balance sheet.
Speaker 5: Somewhere as a as a country, do you mean?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Right, not just on a road, just as a podcast.
Speaker 2: That would be good.
Speaker 5: Although I already have to declare my crypto earnings.
Speaker 4: You can donate via the kofee app. You could just
Speaker 4: I don't know, give us all, like ten bitcoin would
Speaker 4: be would be really nice.
Speaker 5: Just just ten bitcoin could keep Callum out of, you know,
Speaker 5: having to go and do any work for a year.
Speaker 4: I mean it's loose, I'd loosely describe it as work,
Speaker 4: but it apparently is well. It does sometimes pay the.
Speaker 2: Bills, Callum.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been paid for anything proper in bitcoin?
Speaker 4: I have never been paid in bitcoin. But in twenty
Speaker 4: fifteen a man gave me. He was part of the
Speaker 4: Ethereum Foundation, and I did a thing called Break the
Speaker 4: block Hakkathon, which was seeing if we could use blockchain
Speaker 4: to solve real world problems. And he gave me this
Speaker 4: little stupid card thing that was a crypto wallet with
Speaker 4: twenty peas worth of ethereum.
Speaker 2: So I decided at that point.
Speaker 4: To set up my crypto wallet with the twenty P
Speaker 4: and then he gave me another one just for good measure.
Speaker 2: So I was like, okay, no worries. I went on.
Speaker 4: I logged onto a thing called Kraken, set an account up,
Speaker 4: and then I tried to do the deposit, and then
Speaker 4: I had to uplin id and all sorts of very
Speaker 4: difficult things. So for it's not worth me spending no
Speaker 4: bear in mind, I'm charging a fair amount per hour.
Speaker 4: It's not worth me spending two hours to redeem twenty P.
Speaker 4: So I'm going to do it. I should put like
Speaker 4: one hundred quid in set it, forget it whatever, And
Speaker 4: I never bothered to actually put the money into the account.
Speaker 4: And then when crypto piques my interest again some five
Speaker 4: years later, I just out of curiosity googled what my
Speaker 4: twenty P would have been worth. At the point when
Speaker 4: Crypto had piqued my interest again, twenty P had turned
Speaker 4: into eight hundred pounds. Good God, And somehow, somewhere, I'm
Speaker 4: fairly sure I still have the wallet with twenty p
Speaker 4: on and all the codes that go with it. I
Speaker 4: just don't know where it is. I've moved house since,
Speaker 4: and I know it's somewhere in a box. I did
Speaker 4: have a rough look for it, but yeah, somewhere. I've
Speaker 4: got sixteen hundred quid on two little cards given to
Speaker 4: me by one of the founding members of the Ethereum Foundation.
Speaker 5: You're like the TMU version of that guy with a landfill,
Speaker 5: aren't you?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Or the bitcoin pizza guy. Do you know about the
Speaker 4: bitcoin pizza guy? So a man in I don't know,
Speaker 4: god knows, twenty ten or something bought a pizza with
Speaker 4: his bitcoin millions, and let's google so you can get
Speaker 4: an accurate amount of how much his pizza is worth
Speaker 4: in today's value.
Speaker 5: Live googling is always great podcast material. Yeah, but no,
Speaker 5: go on, No, we're keeping this in because we want
Speaker 5: to hear in basilic you are.
Speaker 1: Go on?
Speaker 4: So he paid one ten thousand, ten thousand bitcoins for
Speaker 4: a pizza?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 3: Yes, so ten thousand bit coins.
Speaker 2: Ten thousand.
Speaker 4: I don't even know how to I don't know how much.
Speaker 4: Where's the where's the decimal places go? In the eight
Speaker 4: o six, eight hundred and eight hundred and six million
Speaker 4: pounds currently at today's prices.
Speaker 1: I bet he also had pineapple on it as well. God, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a lot of money in't it.
Speaker 2: I don't know what do you want me to google
Speaker 2: what type of pizza is?
Speaker 1: No, because I'm not actually that interested. But the long
Speaker 1: and the short of it is it's all mumbo jumbo.
Speaker 1: Although I did have a friend in Newmarket who did
Speaker 1: a similar sort of thing, which more our listeners will
Speaker 1: probably understand, is that he had a hot tip from
Speaker 1: the head lad of a certain of a certain of
Speaker 1: a certain yard and said, I've got hot tip here,
Speaker 1: and all sat around a table. Then he said, you've
Speaker 1: got to go and put put some money on this
Speaker 1: horse of ours that's running in a cellar somewhere like
Speaker 1: Lingfield tomorrow. And so he all collected the sort of
Speaker 1: ten pound notes off of everyone who sat around the table,
Speaker 1: and I think it made to about sort of one
Speaker 1: hundred quid to go and put it on it. And
Speaker 1: it was a twenty five to one shot, and he thought,
Speaker 1: he looked at the form and he thought, there is
Speaker 1: no way that thing is going to win. So he
Speaker 1: basically put it in his pocket, forgot about it and thought,
Speaker 1: I've made a hundred quid. I won't go and put
Speaker 1: it on, say sorry, lads, you know, didn't come in,
Speaker 1: and then, of course, to his horror, the twenty five
Speaker 1: to one shot came in and all of a sudden
Speaker 1: he's got to go and find two and a half
Speaker 1: thousand pounds to go and share around with his ten mates.
Speaker 1: And he did actually do that because he didn't want
Speaker 1: to get sort of beaten up, I think, because otherwise
Speaker 1: being a welcher was not a good thing. So, I mean,
Speaker 1: that's just one of those things. As far as I'm concerned,
Speaker 1: Bitcoin sounds like dodgy betting and magic beans. And I'm
Speaker 1: sure that a pizza could be worth nearly a billion pounds,
Speaker 1: but we know that pizza is not worth a billion pounds.
Speaker 1: So I don't actually believe in bitcoin, but I do, Calum, However,
Speaker 1: by your ideas.
Speaker 4: Economies work, I'm not sure that's how valuations work.
Speaker 1: But understood this mumbo jumbo.
Speaker 5: Well, there's a rural thing with with bitcoin and crypto
Speaker 5: very quickly. But when you go to county shows and
Speaker 5: game fairs and things like that, there are a few
Speaker 5: of these companies.
Speaker 3: That are.
Speaker 5: They sort of stand there with vague signs about investing
Speaker 5: in bitcoin and all sorts of things, and what a
Speaker 5: lot of these businesses are are basically they rent space
Speaker 5: on your farm, in one of your buildings, or if
Speaker 5: you've got renewables or energy generation on your estate. On
Speaker 5: your farm, they will say, well, can we come and
Speaker 5: park our crypto rigs, our machines that mine all this cryptocurrency.
Speaker 5: Can we park it on your land and take off
Speaker 5: some of your renewables and then we'll give you a
Speaker 5: share of the profits that we make from it. Which
Speaker 5: all sound really good, but I know of two places
Speaker 5: that where they've said, well, we need a constant power
Speaker 5: supply to these machines. If they go down, everything's lost,
Speaker 5: So we need to put it into the mains as well.
Speaker 5: And if it goes onto the mains, then you pay
Speaker 5: for that power. And I know of two places where
Speaker 5: they've put it right next to a hydro plant, had
Speaker 5: a huge shipping container running all these crypto rigs. It
Speaker 5: was going really well for a couple of months, and
Speaker 5: then there was a hiccup in the supply and it
Speaker 5: switched over to MAINZ and then carried on running on
Speaker 5: the mains for six months. Eight months after that. I
Speaker 5: think one place had a thirty five thousand pound electric
Speaker 5: bill for one month for what they were running on,
Speaker 5: and that pretty much wiped out the two years profits.
Speaker 5: Thank you one goo.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I see the trouble with being in a place
Speaker 4: where we have, like I think it's only behind Germany,
Speaker 4: we have the highest price of electricity is it's not
Speaker 4: very profitable. But countries that have got surplus electricity, place
Speaker 4: like Iceland and even countries in the UAE are using
Speaker 4: the low cost of energy to then add bitcoin onto
Speaker 4: the balance sheet and then sell the bitcoin off or
Speaker 4: keep it as a strategic reserve. So it works if
Speaker 4: your cost of power versus computational power is level, but
Speaker 4: if you have stupid electricity prices like we do in
Speaker 4: the UK, then it is rubbish.
Speaker 5: There we go. So what have you been up to there?
Speaker 2: Again?
Speaker 1: I've been up to well. I have had nothing to
Speaker 1: do with anything Krypto anything out. No, it's not because
Speaker 1: I don't know what it goes on. I've been to
Speaker 1: all sorts of exciting hege coin, edge coin. I have
Speaker 1: been though down to that there Southwest and twice actually
Speaker 1: since I last spoke with you. First of all, I
Speaker 1: went down to Cheltenham and to the Cheltenham Science Festival.
Speaker 2: You're very smart.
Speaker 1: Well yes, well one tries, you know. And what I
Speaker 1: did at Cheltenham was I was I did a talk
Speaker 1: and it was quite funny because as myself and Paul Lamb,
Speaker 1: who has written the other Hedge book of Thorn and Bryer,
Speaker 1: and what a fascinating man he was. Actually holy having
Speaker 1: met him, I think he's wholly legit and a thoroughly
Speaker 1: good egg and an interesting He lives was certainly lived
Speaker 1: most of the time in a horse box. And I
Speaker 1: said to him, I said, I'm not being funny, mate,
Speaker 1: I said, but you know, when I get in from
Speaker 1: work after Hedge lay enough so I wouldn't want to
Speaker 1: just go and kip in the back of a horse box.
Speaker 1: And he explained to me that basically what he'd done
Speaker 1: he'd split up with his partner, the mother of his
Speaker 1: two daughters. And he said that when he realizes that
Speaker 1: when they sort of split the money from his house up,
Speaker 1: that he hadn't got the wherewithal to be able to
Speaker 1: rent or buy a house in the area of the
Speaker 1: countryside where he lives down in the southwest there. So
Speaker 1: he basically kitted out an old Bedford TK horsebox really
Speaker 1: quite palatially and he drives that around a bit like
Speaker 1: these people do with narrow boats, you know, with quite
Speaker 1: a swanky interior and whatnot. So he just drives around
Speaker 1: the country doing in his in his horse box, which
Speaker 1: he showed me some photographs that are actually quite palatial anyway,
Speaker 1: So he and I went and gave a talk. We
Speaker 1: were interviewed by a lovely lady called Anita Setti who
Speaker 1: has written a couple of books and she sort of
Speaker 1: does stuff on what's it called spring Watch and whatnot.
Speaker 1: And it went down really well and we were sold
Speaker 1: out one hundred and seventy.
Speaker 2: Parce I saw her.
Speaker 4: Actually she posted something as a collaborator on your sister face.
Speaker 1: Yes, on Insta face it was, and yeah, it was
Speaker 1: very nice. I was, I'll be honest, I was a
Speaker 1: bit cautious because I thought, my god, Cheltenham Science Festival,
Speaker 1: you know, I'd just imagine there'd be lots of sort
Speaker 1: of people in lab coats or talking Latin, but it wasn't.
Speaker 1: So we went down an absolute storm and sold lots
Speaker 1: of books, came home and then I went down to
Speaker 1: the West Country again and I went to the Exeter
Speaker 1: Comedy Festival. I stayed with Joe Dimbleby, who's the head
Speaker 1: of comms for the GWCT in his place there and
Speaker 1: had absolute hoot staying with him, and then went to
Speaker 1: the Extra Comedy Festival, and I have to say I
Speaker 1: went to a sold out gig once again, although admittedly
Speaker 1: this was in a book shop, so it was seating
Speaker 1: for about thirty so it wasn't quite so hard to
Speaker 1: sell that one out, and talked about my book and stuff.
Speaker 1: And I did that with Will Adamsdale, who I think
Speaker 1: I've said in a show a couple of weeks ago
Speaker 1: about that was going to do with him. He is
Speaker 1: absolutely hilarious, a proper bona fide ee Perier Award winning comedian,
Speaker 1: an actor. And he said he was very interested on
Speaker 1: just how a slightly more mainstream rather than me being
Speaker 1: a comedian just sort of blithering away like we do
Speaker 1: on this and he gave the podcast a very good
Speaker 1: plug and said everyone had to go and listen to us,
Speaker 1: because you know, this is we'd see the unexpagated version
Speaker 1: of the Countryside if you listen to Country Slide and
Speaker 1: crypto yeah and stuff that no one understands. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: that all went well, and then I came back with
Speaker 1: a slightly roundabout route and I went to visit a
Speaker 1: wonderful man called David Hopley. And David was when I
Speaker 1: was a boy, was a huge inspiration to me. He's
Speaker 1: the man who taught me how to cast a fishing fly.
Speaker 1: He was. He taught me all about mink hunting. He
Speaker 1: taught me a lot of what I know about I
Speaker 1: suppose a lot of hunting. Really, he was an avid
Speaker 1: hunting type. He was master of a pack of Welsh foxhounds.
Speaker 1: He was a master of a pack of mink hounds,
Speaker 1: and just a thoroughly nice And he's now retired. He
Speaker 1: is in his late eighties and he lives absolutely out
Speaker 1: in the middle of nowhere in the quants. And my god,
Speaker 1: my ears went pop and my nose bled because of
Speaker 1: all the altitude sickness that I suddenly encountered. But it
Speaker 1: was beautiful to go and see him, And it was
Speaker 1: strange I hadn't seen him for thirty three years. I
Speaker 1: worked out. Yet we probably carried on our conversation where
Speaker 1: we'd left off, which was winging about government and they
Speaker 1: don't understand our country ways. So that yes, so basically
Speaker 1: one a tour of the Southwest armed with a book
Speaker 1: and a smile on my face.
Speaker 5: You know, the Exeter's like barely the West Country. It's
Speaker 5: still the South Really, Wow.
Speaker 1: That's set spoken like a cornishment, isn't it what you say?
Speaker 5: You could travel for another two and a half hours
Speaker 5: west of there and still be in what it's meant
Speaker 5: to be England. Yeah, you know it's that's like say
Speaker 5: an hours in the Far East by being in Sussex.
Speaker 1: I get what you're saying, and I have to say
Speaker 1: I think that's it's more doubt. No. Apparently where they
Speaker 1: never say what we are. We're either the south of
Speaker 1: England or we're in the Midlands. See, if we're a BBC,
Speaker 1: they give us this their area for sort of the
Speaker 1: look East. It starts in about Northampton and hey, what's
Speaker 1: that got to do? Or they'll start talking about bloody
Speaker 1: Luton or something something's happened in Luton. I think, what's
Speaker 1: that got to do with us? At least the ITV
Speaker 1: have got the good grace to accept that there is
Speaker 1: this place called East Anglia.
Speaker 4: I did a job a few years back in Falmouth
Speaker 4: and what what a topographical heuscape that is try and walk.
Speaker 4: Like imagine having a two pints and trying to walk somewhere.
Speaker 4: It is like you don't walk, actually, you climb. It's
Speaker 4: like lands a Rotti. It's got that same kind of
Speaker 4: nastiness that makes every kind of two minute walk an
Speaker 4: impossible venture to wherever.
Speaker 5: Either have you actually been anywhere properly hilly like the Alps?
Speaker 4: Or yeah, but it's nice there, that's the thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the locals are quite friendly. Whereas if you go,
Speaker 1: like to the Highlands of Scotland, the mountains of Wales
Speaker 1: or Cornwall, it's like, no, there's just people with sticks
Speaker 1: who are nasty, especially.
Speaker 4: If you just start grunting and bloody ship here, isn't it?
Speaker 2: What do you need.
Speaker 5: Steps about your own country?
Speaker 1: Isn't it exactly? See? I I have been. I've been.
Speaker 1: I've been to the Alps. I've been to the mont Blanc.
Speaker 1: I've been. Obviously, Yeah, I went up mont Blanc. It
Speaker 1: was a bit a bit scary. I think the problem
Speaker 1: is that I find them alien scary. I find mountains
Speaker 1: just and hills, even hills. I look at it, I go,
Speaker 1: but it seems alien to me. And is that a
Speaker 1: parochial trait?
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I absolutely love Lake Annisy, and
Speaker 4: I've camped there as.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 4: It technically is in the Alps, but it's not like
Speaker 4: mad in the Alps. But the sun hits the rocks,
Speaker 4: so lots of people go. Is it paragliding, parasailing one
Speaker 4: of those things you just look up in the air
Speaker 4: and there's just loads of people hanging around because the
Speaker 4: thermal activity.
Speaker 2: Is really good.
Speaker 4: They stay up there for like hours sometimes well like
Speaker 4: forty five minutes an hour. They just they jump off
Speaker 4: a point at the top and they just stay in
Speaker 4: a fermal for a long long time. But yeah, I
Speaker 4: went on a hike. I took my son and he
Speaker 4: was three years old. We got all the way to
Speaker 4: the top of this thing and it is one of
Speaker 4: the most beautiful places I've ever been, and the waterfall
Speaker 4: right at the top, and then he decided to drop
Speaker 4: a nap on me at the top. So it said
Speaker 4: like a forty minute hike, but it ended up it
Speaker 4: was really hot, and it ended up being with a
Speaker 4: three year old, it ended up being about an hour
Speaker 4: and twenty minutes something like that. And then on the
Speaker 4: way down he drops the nap on me and I'm
Speaker 4: carrying a three year old down and mountain, which was challenging.
Speaker 4: It's very sweaty the heavy day, but it's such a
Speaker 4: nice place.
Speaker 2: The French are.
Speaker 4: The French have such a different way of life that.
Speaker 2: It definitely doesn't happen here. I don't know.
Speaker 4: Maybe even the rural parts of the world it does happen,
Speaker 4: but you just sort of wander down. People stay out
Speaker 4: way later than they do here. They are just drinking
Speaker 4: by the river, chilling out, playing platon where and loads
Speaker 4: of people will come down to play. That game is
Speaker 4: a bit like bulls or jacks or something, and there's
Speaker 4: people of all ages playing stuff like that, all socializing.
Speaker 4: Just a very different way of life. You don't really
Speaker 4: see that kind of kind of thing here.
Speaker 5: We used to, like there used to be we used
Speaker 5: to have more of a similarity to that continental thing.
Speaker 5: You still see it in places, but it's mainly places
Speaker 5: where people aren't concerned about their future income or stuff
Speaker 5: like that, which tends not to be the rural areas
Speaker 5: of Britain at the moment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe that is the whole Who's got time. You
Speaker 4: notice that the more pushed we get in terms of
Speaker 4: the economy, and the cost of living and stuff. The
Speaker 4: less time people have for all those leisure activities like
Speaker 4: the fishing. Fishing seems to have dropped off because nobody
Speaker 4: can sort of take a Friday off and do a
Speaker 4: Friday Saturday on the bank and afford to not be
Speaker 4: working and stuff like that. A number of people fishing
Speaker 4: and doing recreational activities has probably dropped off quite significantly.
Speaker 5: Well, I know, somebody was saying that to me the
Speaker 5: other day that they can see there being basically a
Speaker 5: future where all of those kind of activities that require
Speaker 5: quite a bit of effort to go out and do
Speaker 5: might just become the preserve of the retired, because, yeah,
Speaker 5: if you've got work to do or the something, particularly
Speaker 5: if you're self employed, there's always something to do. You
Speaker 5: don't feel comfortable enough or relaxed enough to just take
Speaker 5: your day off or even half a day off or
Speaker 5: go out for a couple of hours. You know, there's
Speaker 5: always something else with more priority to do, which is
Speaker 5: a bit Yeah, I find that.
Speaker 1: I think that, you know, it's it's a curious thing
Speaker 1: because you would think that in times of adversity that
Speaker 1: people would actually want to go out and do some
Speaker 1: of more of those things, you know, because after during lockdown,
Speaker 1: there were so many people going reopen the pubs, reopen
Speaker 1: the pubs, and you think, oh gosh, there's actually more
Speaker 1: people wanting to use pubs than you'd think for And
Speaker 1: I think, actually it's just people liked the idea of it.
Speaker 1: I think that just on the whole, people are damn idle.
Speaker 1: You know, they don't want that. They like the idea
Speaker 1: of doing stuff. But when you can go and buy
Speaker 1: beers cheaper in the supermarket, you've got eighty three billion
Speaker 1: different channels on the TV, and people just kind of
Speaker 1: just lost the habit of going and making entertainment and
Speaker 1: socializing with others. And if you want to socialize, well
Speaker 1: you've got a WhatsApp group, or you can listen to
Speaker 1: Country Slide. You know, you could actually create a bar
Speaker 1: in your shed. You could put Country Slide on, sit
Speaker 1: there drinking a pint, and you could pretend that you
Speaker 1: were sat in any country pub listening to three slimming
Speaker 1: idiots chatting away. You know, why would you need.
Speaker 4: It's probably someone doing that right now. That's just just
Speaker 4: looking up at the window, just to make sure that
Speaker 4: you're not actually spying exactly.
Speaker 2: They're in there, they're in their bar.
Speaker 4: They've just opened the thing, put put the headphones on there, Like,
Speaker 4: are you talking about mister mummy?
Speaker 1: Is he people watching again? I thought I had restrained order.
Speaker 2: We're talking about you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you.
Speaker 2: You those slippers with those with those pajamas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, get your hands out. If you wrote your hands recently.
Speaker 5: You're not meant not meant to eat it as well, mate,
Speaker 5: Just just wipe.
Speaker 1: It down the dirty I mean honestly, No, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: don't do that. That's mags poop.
Speaker 5: It's not that's not a Garibaldi Richard.
Speaker 1: What have you been up to this week?
Speaker 5: Well, before I launch into what I've been up to
Speaker 5: this week, I have to drop in a notification that
Speaker 5: there's an extended version of this episode and add free
Speaker 5: version of this episode and access to all sorts of
Speaker 5: things like our exclusive financial advice financial advice not financial Advice,
Speaker 5: our exclusive WhatsApp group that is all available to our patrons.
Speaker 5: And you can become a patron by going to well
Speaker 5: Patreon dot com and we'll just go to the link
Speaker 5: that's in our bio, or go to countryslide dot co
Speaker 5: dot UK Forward Slash Support Also, if you don't want
Speaker 5: to just join that thing and you just want to
Speaker 5: give us a one off payment, then suddenly gone on
Speaker 5: there called kofee where you can just literally throw us
Speaker 5: a couple of quid. This doesn't get spent on lavish
Speaker 5: weeks away or fishing trips for calum or anything like that.
Speaker 5: It literally just goes to paying for the server for
Speaker 5: the podcasts and the editing software and things like that.
Speaker 5: I think even Richard is funding most of the rest
Speaker 5: of the show out of his vast royalties from his book,
Speaker 5: which apparently is out. So you know, if you want
Speaker 5: to support that and add something extra to it, then
Speaker 5: just do that. Because the four pounds that Richard's given
Speaker 5: us from the book really has has helped fill the
Speaker 5: coffers a bit. But if you want to just top
Speaker 5: that up a bit, go along to Countryslide dot co
Speaker 5: dot uk forwarge Slash support. So I've been. I went
Speaker 5: to the far south east of England or Sussex as
Speaker 5: it's known, and I did a thing that it is
Speaker 5: a festivalus so it's a South Downs Nature and Food
Speaker 5: Festival or something, and I think there was some sort
Speaker 5: of mistake because everyone else speaking there was a well
Speaker 5: known nature writer. So there's Roger Morgan Grenville, and then
Speaker 5: there was Mark Cocker, and there was a guy called
Speaker 5: Charles Dowding who was a writer and a YouTuber, and
Speaker 5: then there was me. And then people get asking me
Speaker 5: whether where my book was. And I think there was
Speaker 5: some sort of mistake because when I said I'm a writer,
Speaker 5: it's not the articles for a few places and just
Speaker 5: write stuff on the back of.
Speaker 2: A fat packet and pass it to Callum when he's
Speaker 2: the book coming out my book.
Speaker 5: I don't know. I think that all the publisher deals
Speaker 5: have gone. Well, I've written some stuff, but chat GPT
Speaker 5: is down today, so nobody can do any writing.
Speaker 1: Oh is that what?
Speaker 5: It's a thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 5: People are saying that they can't catchually go and do
Speaker 5: any work at their companies anymore because their AI brain
Speaker 5: has gone.
Speaker 2: Oh my brain. My brain had to do somethinking today.
Speaker 2: It was horrible. It was terrible.
Speaker 5: Whilst we're diverting onto this, I'm going to tell you
Speaker 5: about something it wasn't what I did. Although actually I'll
Speaker 5: finish off by saying Sussex is a very nice place,
Speaker 5: but it feels expensive to breathe and I got in
Speaker 5: my first polo related traffic jam, so that's not an
Speaker 5: everyday occurrence elsewhere.
Speaker 2: Well, what did you do? Choke on a polon?
Speaker 1: Not volk, Folks aren't polo Caldre park, Oh.
Speaker 5: Horse sticks or something?
Speaker 4: Did you did you wear a sweater over your shoulder
Speaker 4: and make sure you fit in. I could imagine you
Speaker 4: sitting next to the pie a lot sort of like
Speaker 4: all these handsome, handsome men with like perfectly manicured nails
Speaker 4: and beautiful hair, and then you're just sitting there like Hagrid.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 5: Everybody once said to me that, you know, some men
Speaker 5: have an air of elegance and grace about them, whereas you, Richard,
Speaker 5: look like you've come to inquire about the pig.
Speaker 1: I really could great pub that they've been there.
Speaker 2: Calm, yeah, I did.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 5: I want to talk about wheelbarrows briefly. Good My life
Speaker 5: is a comedy of wheelbarrows at the moment. So I
Speaker 5: need to buy some wheelbarrows for our CIC because we've
Speaker 5: been funded for a project. So I need to buy
Speaker 5: what kind of Well, that's the thing I need to
Speaker 5: I've got a budget of a certain amount of money,
Speaker 5: several hundred pounds to buy wheelbarrows and we've got to
Speaker 5: sort of sea fit. So I ordered a load from
Speaker 5: Wheelbarrows dot co dot UK, you know, thinking they we
Speaker 5: do wheelbarrows, and then they went, oh, we can't deliver
Speaker 5: them for them for a month, that's all right, fine,
Speaker 5: so and then a month came by. Oh, well, well
Speaker 5: we'll deliver them at some point, right, and then we've
Speaker 5: sent them on the way to you. Okay. Oh they
Speaker 5: couldn't get in right, did they ring the bell?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 5: So they're on our way back to us. This can
Speaker 5: have a refund only when they've come back to us.
Speaker 5: What do you mean, Well, only when the wheelbarrows are
Speaker 5: back with us, and we know that they're back with
Speaker 5: us and they won't get delivered again here from the
Speaker 5: courier for two weeks, then you can have a refund.
Speaker 5: So hang on, that's not how it works. I haven't
Speaker 5: where's my wheelbarrows? You haven't given me any wheelbarrows. I
Speaker 5: want my money back. Oh no, our terms and conditions
Speaker 5: won't let us do that, right, fine, So fighting with
Speaker 5: them for ages or did more wheelbarrows from somewhere else,
Speaker 5: And today one of them was delivered, except it wasn't
Speaker 5: a wheelbarrow. It was a radiator.
Speaker 2: I don't I don't think you're going to get much.
Speaker 1: On the right.
Speaker 5: And then I had to ring the place and said, look,
Speaker 5: you've sent me a radiator. Oh I'm sorry. That appears
Speaker 5: to be a picking era. Right. Can you take it
Speaker 5: back to our store? No, come and get your bloody radiator.
Speaker 5: Oh well, well we can't. If we have to arrange
Speaker 5: a collection, we might have to charge you for it. No,
Speaker 5: I've ordered wheelbarrows from you. Send me my wheelbarrows. You,
Speaker 5: for some reason, have gifted me a radiator. I don't
Speaker 5: want it. Come and take your radiator.
Speaker 2: Did you pay credit card?
Speaker 5: This is the thing that they said, Oh, well, if
Speaker 5: you do a charge back, it'll take thirty days. I right,
Speaker 5: I'm going to go and find your corporate offices and
Speaker 5: we're coming to visit with a mock spreader, bloody wheelbarrows.
Speaker 5: Yeah no, this thing of well, can you drop it
Speaker 5: in at one of our stores. No, we're in the
Speaker 5: middle of nowhere. It take me half an hour to
Speaker 5: get out of the valley alone to one of your stores.
Speaker 4: Probably be an automated process, so just say it didn't
Speaker 4: turn up.
Speaker 5: Well, no, they've center photo of it being delivered to
Speaker 5: the proof of delivery of a bloody radiator.
Speaker 1: How could you go and make a picking era of
Speaker 1: saying a will barrow? I mean, look, you would have
Speaker 1: to be pretty I mean, I mean, do they employ
Speaker 1: blind pickers.
Speaker 5: I know we're talking about, you know, jokingly, about the
Speaker 5: decline of the country in economy and things like that.
Speaker 1: Ha ha ha ha.
Speaker 5: We're all doomed. We actually are, because every little system
Speaker 5: is collapsing, every little customer service thing, every little interaction
Speaker 5: has nobody at any level actually wants Well, it's not
Speaker 5: in their interest to do a good job. It's to
Speaker 5: do the bare minimum that they won't be prosecuted for.
Speaker 5: And even if you do a chargeback, it will take half,
Speaker 5: it'll take an entire month to get back to you,
Speaker 5: so they know no one's going to wait that long.
Speaker 5: So you're stuck with whatever system they make up. There's
Speaker 5: this term which we used to be applied to things
Speaker 5: like streaming services and online subscriptions, but it's kind of
Speaker 5: across everything now, which is in sitification. Everything is being
Speaker 5: in shitified, everything's getting worse. But because everything's getting worse, Okay, yeah,
Speaker 5: well we thought you do, but there's nowhere to turn
Speaker 5: because everything's getting worse at the same time.
Speaker 1: Thankfully, most stuff in the countryside, in farming and what
Speaker 1: happ not, you still go to. If you want to
Speaker 1: buy a new tractor, you go and speak to your
Speaker 1: local tractor dealership and you trust them and they're part
Speaker 1: of your life. If I want to go and buy
Speaker 1: a bit of kit just because I don't know we're
Speaker 1: rigging up an irrigation system for a new hedge that
Speaker 1: we've done, I don't bother going online. I go down
Speaker 1: to either Clerks of Walsham or js Laws just down
Speaker 1: the road to meet from the other way, because I
Speaker 1: know that I'll speak to a person who not only
Speaker 1: will go and say odd on, don't buy that stuff.
Speaker 1: If I sell you this, this and this, it will
Speaker 1: save you three pounds seventy five. And you need this
Speaker 1: connection because those connections that come with it are absolutely craps.
Speaker 1: Or throw those away and have these ones they're on
Speaker 1: the house. That's why the countryside, why farming works. Just
Speaker 1: to all the rest of the infrastructure that is on,
Speaker 1: that is on, that is on, everything else is it.
Speaker 1: It doesn't work, you know, because it's just relying upon
Speaker 1: idiots who are who are on I don't know they're
Speaker 1: they're on something or other time. They don't care. Can
Speaker 1: you imagine going to your local hardware shop and saying, hello,
Speaker 1: I want a Hammelin wheelbarrow. Yes, okay, mate, and they'll
Speaker 1: go out to the back and rather than wheeling through
Speaker 1: a Hammelin wheelbarrow, they bring you out a children's ball
Speaker 1: pool and some rat poison and they go there. You
Speaker 1: go go close enough, Sorry, it's close enough. I'll make
Speaker 1: you pay for it. And they can say I don't
Speaker 1: want any of this ship nan, Yeah, you're paid for it.
Speaker 1: Now off thirty days, come back. You'd set fire to
Speaker 1: the place, wouldn't you.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you're onto something with that, because if you like,
Speaker 5: if you go to Group Fix or tour Station or whatever,
Speaker 5: everything is cheaper, but you're stuck with whatever corporate system
Speaker 5: they have. If you go to even one of the
Speaker 5: chains like Wednesday or Mole Valley Farmers or something like that,
Speaker 5: you go in there and they're a chain, but everyone
Speaker 5: who works there probably lives close by. They're probably sons
Speaker 5: or wives or daughters of, or works adjacent to farmers already,
Speaker 5: and all the farmers have accounts there so they and
Speaker 5: they buy everything there, Like there's some places here that
Speaker 5: they sell everything apart from food for the kitchen. And
Speaker 5: some of the old bachelor farmers up in the hills,
Speaker 5: they literally buy all their clothes there and their feed
Speaker 5: and the water troughs and everything. And those places can't
Speaker 5: afford to alienate their customer base because word gets out,
Speaker 5: so they have to be nice, and they have to
Speaker 5: be It's sort of customer services enshrined into the model,
Speaker 5: whereas with everything else because you're hidden, be on a
Speaker 5: call center in terms and conditions, it's infuriating. I don't know,
Speaker 5: talking of infuriating, callum, how have you spent your time?
Speaker 5: Because you've done a million things?
Speaker 4: I have done a million things. I've had to try and.
Speaker 2: Cut it down to too yeah, to less than a hundred.
Speaker 1: What were those hundred things? Come on?
Speaker 5: Took photos of fish?
Speaker 4: I did take a thousand photos of fish. I've done
Speaker 4: a lot of fish and stuff. I also did a
Speaker 4: shoot the other day with a load of bodybuilders, which
Speaker 4: looked really fun on my Instagram. That does not fit
Speaker 4: in with my my the I haven't really got an
Speaker 4: aesthetic of a grid.
Speaker 2: If I my my career is basically North career or
Speaker 2: yourself career my North Korea.
Speaker 4: Well, actually my career is think since we started this
Speaker 4: podcast episode, what I think.
Speaker 5: This podcast is directly linked to your phone, isn't it
Speaker 5: because your phone stopped ringing when you started this podcast?
Speaker 4: No, the thing is it does ring and I get
Speaker 4: I get roped into like the most random thing still,
Speaker 4: and it's so I was photographing bodybuilders and people trans like.
Speaker 4: So I photographed very muscular men and they I photographed
Speaker 4: them first, and then they did a workout, and then
Speaker 4: and then they they after they did a workout, they
Speaker 4: were like, oh, it's funny because like, you photograph me first,
Speaker 4: and I look really small, and bear in mind that
Speaker 4: it looked like someone would teletaate potatoes to their arms.
Speaker 4: So I'm photographing all these all these men and then
Speaker 4: they're like, oh, yeah, I was really small to start with,
Speaker 4: and now you know, now I've done a big workout,
Speaker 4: I'm really pumped up, and you know, I look a
Speaker 4: lot bigger and I look a lot better, and I'm
Speaker 4: just sitting there like and absolutely chubby potato with tits
Speaker 4: be like, yeah, you know, I feel you're pain like
Speaker 4: you know, my diets obviously, also as it's extreme.
Speaker 2: I'm glad now. I look Swellen.
Speaker 5: Flexing a lot whilst you were taking the photos to
Speaker 5: make sure that you've filed.
Speaker 2: No, I was just look, I'll show you the actions.
Speaker 4: I was just repeatedly pushing my tee shirt like this
Speaker 4: so my fat dad's bod didn't sort of hang over
Speaker 4: my poorly fitting pair of chinos and make me look
Speaker 4: like an absolute idiot.
Speaker 5: Just a sidebar. I know a neighbor who said he
Speaker 5: knew he had to lose weight because when he leant
Speaker 5: over the electric fence, his dangling stomach hung out from
Speaker 5: under his T shirt and cause on the electric fence.
Speaker 4: Yeah, decent never had that problem, but I'm sure it's coming.
Speaker 4: I saw a mean today that said, you know, I've
Speaker 4: achieved things that most people don't achieve until they're in
Speaker 4: their sixties, which include hair loss, memory loss, and a
Speaker 4: great big mony.
Speaker 2: That's true.
Speaker 4: I've done exactly the same thing at the tender Age
Speaker 4: today four. So we did that, and then I did fishing.
Speaker 4: I'm going to tell you my fishing story. Oh shit,
Speaker 4: you see that I nearly smashed my whole desk off
Speaker 4: the table.
Speaker 2: That was good.
Speaker 4: It's far too animated, so I went. My friend spoke
Speaker 4: to me about a gentleman called William who has a
Speaker 4: farm not too far from where I live, and strangely,
Speaker 4: his wife told the chap William about the podcast because
Speaker 4: his wife listens as he's listening to this now. And
Speaker 4: my friend Simon also told me that his wife was
Speaker 4: listening to it without him, which he was very upset about.
Speaker 4: And I think there probably should be a word for
Speaker 4: that kind of adultery when you have a mutual agreement
Speaker 4: to listen to or review something together and then the
Speaker 4: other person goes behind your backing and gets an episode ahead.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's modern day adultery. It's probably one of
Speaker 4: the reasons one ground for divorce. You only need three.
Speaker 5: Extreamat stream teater.
Speaker 2: Well, hopefully they're listening to this together right now. Thanks.
Speaker 1: So is that nice that we bring couples together. I
Speaker 1: like that. I think it's a nice thing.
Speaker 5: We might get our first country slide divorce at some point.
Speaker 5: You never know where was that could be interesting.
Speaker 1: It's probably you.
Speaker 5: And I'm going to I might be working through it now,
Speaker 5: who knows. So, yes, some muscular men and fishing.
Speaker 2: That I sorr.
Speaker 4: I met this chap called William, and William is a
Speaker 4: really nice guy and an incredible chef. And there's so
Speaker 4: many stories that we could get into. He knows people
Speaker 4: that I've worked with. He knows a lot of people.
Speaker 4: He got into a little bit of hot water over
Speaker 4: an issue and it went national. Should I tell this
Speaker 4: story now? Okay, I'll tell you this little story. I'll
Speaker 4: tell you this little story here. He was involved in
Speaker 4: a situation where the there's a park, Dagenham Park, and
Speaker 4: he was in an area which he has the right
Speaker 4: to shoot deer on He shot a deer and it
Speaker 4: then it didn't die and then it ran through a fence.
Speaker 4: So he pursued the deer, dispatched the deer, and armed
Speaker 4: police were called because there was The party line was
Speaker 4: there's a sort of armed man in a park. Happens yeah,
Speaker 4: So that was that. They were like, okay, what's happening here?
Speaker 4: He everything was okay. Then several months later the wildlife
Speaker 4: crime officer decided that he was going to pursue the case.
Speaker 4: So it wasn't straight away, it was a much later thing.
Speaker 4: The it got very legal very quickly. He had to
Speaker 4: go in to court and it cost a lot of money.
Speaker 4: The long story short was the person there was lots
Speaker 4: of evidence that were given that was inaccurate, and he
Speaker 4: was going to say, I want to say the words,
Speaker 4: got away with it. But obviously they the jury found
Speaker 4: him not guilty because the deer broke. The deer went
Speaker 4: through a fence that had a great big hold in
Speaker 4: it and you're allowed to then it was going to
Speaker 4: pose a danger to somebody. The twenty five is not
Speaker 4: too far away, so he had to he had to
Speaker 4: dispatch it. So they tried to get him done for poaching. Officially,
Speaker 4: obviously it wasn't because he was I don't know, you're
Speaker 4: probably you're probably the experts on this and I'm just relaying.
Speaker 5: I don't know anything about the background of it.
Speaker 2: So so that's what happened.
Speaker 4: But then also the evidence that was presented was that
Speaker 4: he was on on that land that he wasn't allowed
Speaker 4: to and nothing could get through the fence. But the
Speaker 4: person that had given the evidence hadn't bothered to actually
Speaker 4: go to that side of the park where the fence
Speaker 4: was not. They said there was a six foot high
Speaker 4: fence that was impenetrable, but it wasn't. So when they
Speaker 4: worked that out as evidence, they were like, well, no,
Speaker 4: this is this is clearly not the case. So long
Speaker 4: story short, he was found not guilty, but that didn't
Speaker 4: stop lots of places throwing him under the bus and putting.
Speaker 2: Him in trouble.
Speaker 4: And he even got called in the sun because he's
Speaker 4: a chef as well, he got called blaster chef the
Speaker 4: way that's the head which I feel like is actually
Speaker 4: a good PR.
Speaker 5: Sniper chef would have been a better headline.
Speaker 1: Chef as in master chef.
Speaker 5: I don't watch TV, so you know, we don't have
Speaker 5: a TV.
Speaker 1: Maybe, I mean, I don't have a space rocket, but
Speaker 1: I've heard about flipping, I've known about the moon and
Speaker 1: Neil Armstrong, So I mean, I'm sorry that the man
Speaker 1: who was.
Speaker 5: Filmed in a studio somewhere by Stanley Kubrick and then the.
Speaker 1: Broad Flat Earth coh Dear. I don't I believe they
Speaker 1: went there. I really do.
Speaker 5: I believe I believe a rocket went. I believe a
Speaker 5: rocket went to the moon. Something we landed on the Moon,
Speaker 5: and then possibly they left someone to die there and
Speaker 5: meanwhile they filmed something on Earth. Dear, I don't really Wow,
Speaker 5: Maybe I'll tell you what what.
Speaker 1: I bet you read Dan Brown books and you go, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: that could be true. Though I think probably it was
Speaker 1: all the Knights Templars that Jesus was actually married Mary Magdalene,
Speaker 1: and that's why the Knights Templars do all that stuff.
Speaker 1: You know. I tell you what, Indiana Jones, it wasn't
Speaker 1: a fly on the Wall documentary, you know, Richard. So
Speaker 1: this chef anyway, did he did he serve the venison
Speaker 1: up in the restaurant. That's the most important part.
Speaker 4: Yeah, loads of this stuff is all served in the restaurant.
Speaker 4: And so have you ever you might have known this guy.
Speaker 4: Have you ever heard of a thing.
Speaker 2: Called shotgun Chef?
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, I've heard of him.
Speaker 2: That's him.
Speaker 4: That's him. He is the shotgun Chef. So he had
Speaker 4: he had a WordPress blog that was really really big
Speaker 4: and basically he just makes shoot stuff, lives off the
Speaker 4: like farms on this small farm, and serves everything in
Speaker 4: the restaurant. So my friend Simon invited me to the
Speaker 4: restaurant and we sat there, We had a we had.
Speaker 2: Some wine, ate some food. He gave us a little
Speaker 2: VIP tour.
Speaker 5: He's got to say was this is a guinea fowl place.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've got guinea fowl.
Speaker 4: We've got quail that gets sold into restaurants. Yeah, you've
Speaker 4: got he's got squabs. So he went to telling me
Speaker 4: all these stories about how he went to France to
Speaker 4: get proper French squabs and then they're going to be
Speaker 4: sold into Michelin Star restaurants because they're really good. And
Speaker 4: he's got just so much amazing stuff. He does pasta
Speaker 4: which has come from you know, the wheat in the field,
Speaker 4: all the way into the restaurant. Everything is completely farm
Speaker 4: to fork dining essentially. It is absolutely amazing. The place
Speaker 4: is called the cart Shed. It's in Thornwood, and highly
Speaker 4: recommend it if you're a you're a game meet enthusiast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it's incredible.
Speaker 4: But anyway, I met this guy and we had this long,
Speaker 4: lengthy conversation and we delved into a variety of stories.
Speaker 4: One thing came up where he told me that there
Speaker 4: was catfish in one of the lakes. Apparently two catfish
Speaker 4: were in his lakes. So I was like, right, okay,
Speaker 4: I'm coming back. Can I fish for your catfish? At
Speaker 4: first meeting? Can I fish for your catfish and he agreed.
Speaker 5: So somewhere story about this catfish obsessed photographer he met.
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, he's like, he's a bit weird. He's sort
Speaker 2: of like he started, he drunk all my wine. He
Speaker 2: complimented me about me, about me quails, and then he
Speaker 2: hate me catfish.
Speaker 4: No, I so I took my son fishing for catfish
Speaker 4: because it's one of the things he's wanted to catch
Speaker 4: for so long. I don't know where the obsession came from,
Speaker 4: but every time I ask him what he wants to do, well, no,
Speaker 4: I know that, but specifically catfish.
Speaker 2: It's just a really odd, odd thing.
Speaker 4: He picked it out of a book and was obsessed
Speaker 4: with it. And it's really hard to catch catfish because
Speaker 4: most lakes you have to book for like forty eight hours,
Speaker 4: and I don't really want to do forty eight hours.
Speaker 4: And also I didn't want to time the weather like that.
Speaker 1: So how long it takes to catch a catfish? Two days?
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 4: Catfishing lakes are really weird. They're not like Corse fishing lakes.
Speaker 4: You just they give you like lake exclusive bookings, so
Speaker 4: you can't fish. You'll just have to book the entire
Speaker 4: lake out for yourself really, so you book them out
Speaker 4: for forty eight hours, and it will cost you like
Speaker 4: two hundred and fifty quid for forty eight hours.
Speaker 5: It's really expensive.
Speaker 4: It's not that expensive, but in terms of like if
Speaker 4: you were to fish a data Get lake for carp
Speaker 4: you'd just spend it might be twenty quid for twenty
Speaker 4: four hours, so you'd go down and then the lake
Speaker 4: would be, you know, with a bunch of people. But
Speaker 4: if you're going to spend you're going to spend that.
Speaker 2: Kind of money.
Speaker 4: I don't know you'd want to fish it with somebody else,
Speaker 4: and then you've got to work out who's free on
Speaker 4: what weekends, and then you've got to commit to forty
Speaker 4: eight hours.
Speaker 5: Explain why you have to book the whole thing out there?
Speaker 1: Yes, I want to know that.
Speaker 4: I think it's I'm not really sure. I think it's
Speaker 4: probably because not many people want to go cat fishing,
Speaker 4: so they financially it's more viable to do it like
Speaker 4: that because they've probably got a lot of costs. So
Speaker 4: if they can book it out and they book it
Speaker 4: up quite far in advance, you book a slot. So
Speaker 4: when I asked, I found a place it was about August.
Speaker 4: I wanted to do one in the summer holidays last year.
Speaker 4: I coolled them up and they said, oh, we've got
Speaker 4: nothing for August. You're gonna have to do like mid September.
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, I've got to take him out of school
Speaker 4: for two days if I want to try and get
Speaker 4: a day in September. So I can't do that, So
Speaker 4: I've got to have a weekend. And then weekends were
Speaker 4: all booked just got such logistically it was an absolute nightmare.
Speaker 4: So I just binned it off. So when I got
Speaker 4: the opportunity to catch some catfish, I was like, yeah, cool.
Speaker 1: I think it had been better though, if you went
Speaker 1: and dumped into the hole in a bikini, because I
Speaker 1: see some of these things on YouTube. They seem very
Speaker 1: popular in America that they basically get rather buck Some
Speaker 1: girls in bikini dive into holes noodling, that's the thing,
Speaker 1: And they go and put their arms in a catfish's
Speaker 1: mouth and pull it out. So I don't see why
Speaker 1: you have to Is that why you have to book
Speaker 1: it for two days? Because seeing you in a in
Speaker 1: a bikini.
Speaker 2: Catfish noodling a bikini?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, honestly, if I make i'd I'd turn
Speaker 1: that into a spectator sport. You know, you've got callum
Speaker 1: in a bikini, the potato with tits in in a
Speaker 1: bikini that is bought from H and M. You know,
Speaker 1: a cheap one, so it goes slightly see through after
Speaker 1: you've jumped in there and you're shoving your hands down
Speaker 1: a catfish's throat, So don't worry, I'm just noodling. I
Speaker 1: think it'd be brilliant. I think absolutely. I'd pay to
Speaker 1: watch that. I really would, and I'm quite conservative.
Speaker 5: That's why we're going to end this episode, I think,
Speaker 5: and move on over on to the patron only segment,
Speaker 5: which seems to be working as a teaser because we've
Speaker 5: had quite a few people sign up to a Patreon recently,
Speaker 5: so welcome to all the new people, and we'll see
Speaker 5: you in the chat. Bye bye bye.
Speaker 2: I caught the catfish, by the way.