Speaker 1: Hodson here, let's go in here when it costum really
a little too real? You know, you put this on,
we turn this thing out for him. All right, Happy Easter, everybody.
Who's actually who's up right now? It's twelve thirty pm
Central time. All right, let's see what we get going
for your When I do a live stream, it's probably
you know, it'll probably be this is probably more suitable.
I got some books I wanted to share with you. Yeah,
father Santorp, hold on, let me let me get some books.
Dystopian Holiday. Okay, there we go. All right, Yeah, Happy Easter.
Happy Easter, everybody. Christ I haven't got so much shit going.
I got so much stuff to do about the heaven Andewism,
fall down, break my neck. I'm going to Atlanta tomorrow.
I'm going to Georgia. I'll be in Georgia Alabama area.
I'm finally gonna see some Northeast Alabama's biodiversity. I'll be
wearing a priest custome. You know, it gets you out
of traffic tickets, It gets you know, both the cops
and and you know the LINKU was to leave you alone.
I was in New Orleans and we were filming to
kill your lawn. We're in a priest costume. Once it
was their Marti grut thing. Some kid hit me in
the head with a ball they were throwing in the street,
and he looked so apologetic afterwards, whereas if I wouldn't
have been wearing this, he probably will just you know,
told me to go fuck myself or something. So anyway,
oh yeah, it's four twenty two for all the dopers.
I'm not a doper, but uh, I encourage it. You know,
it's beats booze. Can't fucking stand alcohol. So what do
you mean do We're gonna do a quick live stream.
We're gonna talk about some books, some nice books that
we're gonna go. Maybe we'll talk about uh, I don't
know what else. I don't know. I'm out of shit,
you know, I got too much. I got I get
what's what happened, and I get too much shit to
do and then I don't do anything. I just want
to lay down, you know, in the middle of the road.
But we'll, uh, we could talk, you know, we'll see
what uh what's going on with everybody out there? Growing
bockchoy In response to the Chinese thing that's good you
know that's really good. We're we're gonna not gonna ease
the dystopia. Somebody got mad at me for saying the
word retard, which you would never actually say to someone
who's mentally disabled. Retard is only it's reserved for people
who are acting like, you know, retarded. You treat the
mentally disabled the utmost care, respect and compassion. But you know,
everyone's got their fight. They gotta get they gotta get
mad about something. So uh okay, well the fuck I've got,
you know, nineteen videos to edit. Still, I don't want
to do it. I got doing the copy edits. I
gotta get the version of my book. Concrete bought me
back to the copy editor by tuesday. You know, Al see,
Al's like the see I'm the Italian cat. Look, priest,
Ail's the Irish. Can't look priest. You know this fucking thing.
He was laughing his ass off when I had this out.
He said, it looks too real. It's too real, it's
fucking too good. You know, I'm gonna start I should
seriously wear that. You can get away with so much,
so much, right, do you think a cop would if
a cop saw me in this? There's no way he
would write me any kind of fucking ticket, right anyway,
maybe I could read something from this book, you know,
I was. I don't know how I mentally diarrheaed this
book out, but I was going through it yesterday after
the copy had I got it back to me and
it's actually pretty good. That's pretty nice. It's uh, you know,
I forgot I wrote this because I can't remember what
I had for breakfast three days ago. I just fucking
you know, I just bark this shit out and then
people tell me stuff I did, stuff I said, you know,
I can't remember that stuff. You know. Okay, books, we
want to talk about Fifth Kingdom. I talked about this
in a podcast. Excellent book on fungi fungi and it
gets into it too. It's not about foraging or edible
It's not that I necessarily not those. It's about the
more in a science, you know, how to fun I bang,
good shit, cool stuff to think about. God damn, this
thing is blowing my mind. By Bryce Kendrick, The Fifth Kingdom.
There was something especially that they got me going, got
me hacked. Oh there's even a chapter on Li Likens.
That's a dope book. Woody Plants of Northwest South America
is a dope book because it's a flora, but it's
written by an actual field botanist. So instead of, you know,
instead of being like a cold, hard, dry flora, it's uh,
you know with the keys that kind of suck and
the key breaks that suck. It's more in depth and
it's got It's like something I would write like just
a and I've been meaning to do something like that
for Texas, where you just explain the difference between this
and you know that, you explain the general instead of
looking for these very subtle, often not in seasoned, morphological
traits about a plant, you actually talk about the gestalt,
you know, where it grows, how it feels that kind
of shit, really good stuff and it look at this.
They got a chapter on a fucking neotropical Eric Casey
and the differences between all the genera, and I will
tell you they are a clusterfuck. I'm gonna try to
do a post about them on the intergram the inter
sham serato stemsteria differences and where the flowers come out
accillaria at the discilline. What but these fucking neotropical blueberries
blew my mind man, because they're they're epiphytes, and they
grow in these incredible forests, generally high elevations. They're neotropical,
not in the sense of hot and humid, only in
the sense that they occur at lott latitudes. But they've
got a lot of them form these woody ligno tubers.
So you'll see this thing that's anchored to it, like
moss bed on a tree, and then it like hooks
down and it's got this big woody knob. It's the
woody ligno tuber. It's like a storage mechanism, you know.
It's like having a little storage container in a back
you know, where you put all your tools and shit,
your tools, your guns, your dildos and uh and then
you know, but it's an epiphyte. So to get around
the fact that it's got this dry season and it's
not going on any fucking soil, it's got this big
woody ligno tuber. So fucking cool to see. And a
lot of them do that, and then a lot of
other ones just grow and they've all produced these delicious
edible fruits. I mean, they're truly neotropical blueberries. You know,
I could take this thing off that this is vibing you,
some of you guys out you know, if you got
like trauma, Catholic trauma, a lot of us have it.
My mom used to take me to the fucking Catholic church.
You know. It was a big it was a big church,
and I would get so bored and I would, but
I liked watching a priest when he would, you know,
hold up the wine and shit, because you could tell
he was already hammered. He'd hold up a little chalice
and eat the bread, you know, you know, you hold
the chalice up and you could just see this big
dumb grin, and you go, heck, guy's fucking hammered already.
Holy shit. He was drinking the wine and the rum,
you know, and then he's probably spilled some them on
his little robe and he had to go change, you know,
through a cursing fit, you know, like Tony soprano and
then had a cursing fit, had to go back change
the rope because he got a big port wine stain
on it. And you know what I mean, Uh, what
the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah, so neotropical blueberries.
I can't remember, is that what I was saying about
I'm all over the place just like a pink pok bowl.
Try to listen to the podcast. It's even worse. But uh,
but yeah, that was. I mean, I've got so much
shit to process. I've got herbarium specimens. Look at this
stuff I got. Oh, this is all our barium specimens here,
ah see, put them in like that, and those these
are the ones I've processed. Ship I've written labels up
for when I keep them. You don't need actual plant
press for herbarium specimens, though it helps you. Just you
get one of these little drawing pads and then I
hold it together with these these straps. You know. I
think these straps were originally made for some kind of
derange sex sling. But you know I'm not into that stuff,
so so I just, oh, god, okay. Anyway, you're like
pee Wee Herman, you know, and the old you ever
watched the old pee Wee shows, when he's just he's
like pulling all this stuff out of a bag. He's
got a bag of gigs. My daughter and I were
watching that. He loves pee Wee. Thank god. You know,
it's a subtle creative messaging in that show. I think
it affected all of us who grew up in that time.
It was a very important show and cultural institution. They
really affected me. They really affected me as a young youngster. Okay,
let's see when else. I saw another interesting plant in
other news po Maria Ostro, Texana. Super fucking rare. It's
a pee that looks like an orchid right there. And
I just took that using Matt's car instead of Matt's
car as a background. You just gotta get that. To
get that black background, you just need a much darker
uh background that's generally farther away from the lens than
the subject. But it's it's This plant is incredible. I've
been looking for it for a while, never thought I'd
actually come across it, but look at it. Very bizarre
floral morphology with those those stamens that come down probably
to dust, some fucking Xylocopis abdomen with pollen, and the
whole thing's covered in glands. It's in the say cell
penioid subfamily at a pea family, and so uh and
a lot quite a lot of them do that. I
think Hoffman Seggy is a say cell penioid too. Erazorisia
I think that's a say cel penioid, that's a cool
say sell penioid, desert safe cell penioids. Look at a glance.
Huh you prick see that? God, the Internet's a toilet.
Did you know that? Did you know what? The Internet's
a toilet for every rotten sphincter to comment horrible shit,
not horrible. Just you know, there's a lot of unhappy
people because we're living in dystopia, and you know, the
middle class is basically gone and the oligarchs are fucking everybody.
So a lot of people are unhappy and they they
vent it. I can't really blame them. They vent it
by going online and you know, while I taking a ship,
leaving some mean comment, then YouTube. So anyway, picture book
of Unusual Flowers, I'm working on it. Uh but uh
the other book meanwhile on abrams Press has been kind
of abandoned, which is all photos their designer. I sent
some sample images and write ups to their designer to
look at and he got back. He sent that back.
It looked like a fucking health insurance brought sure. I said,
I'm not doing this stuff. I'm gonna do I'm gonna
get the InDesign subscription and do it myself, which I did,
but I just haven't gotten around to it. A kind
lady wrote me and said she would help me. She uh,
she's in Minnesota and does it for a living. But
I have not. I just haven't had the time. I
don't have time to do anything. All I want to
do is ride my bike with my kid. I got
this tandem bike. It's a hookup, so she could sit
on the back and put a little helmet on her
and you go ride your bike around. That's a nice time,
you know. And then if you're smoking a stogy too,
you're like five feet above her because it's a cannem
so you're not gonna get blown smoking her face. So
you drive around, You ride around smoking a stogy, drinking
an Na beer. You know, that's a nice time. That's
all I want to do. Yeah, you're If you're unhappy
with things, just dive into, you know, the living world.
Ignore the fucking garbage around you, the human garbage. Okay, wait,
pea flower, nice? What the fuck I had? You know?
I hit a I had a point here. Oh, if
you want to see the cover of a book, Fucking
square Space is fucking me again. I hate them. I
hate them so much. Did you know that? Did you
know that I hate Square Space? Okay, let me go
through these nine thousand unread emails in my email inbox
and show you to cover for Concrete Botany, which I
think came out pretty good. They hired an illustrator, even
though I illustrate because I don't have the fucking time
to do it. The illustrator they're hired isn't isn't too bad?
Not you know, there's look there you go, there's the
kind that'll be and Barnes and Noble so you can
shoplift it. Just kidding, I'm just kidding. That'll be on Amazon,
so you can you can you can order it on
Scamazon and say the package didn't arrive. Just kidding, just kidding,
I'm really just kidding. We don't endorse crime here. Uh yeah,
so I don't know that'll be fun. I need to
find someone who's competent and knows knows a thing or
two about plants to do the design or help me
with the design layout for the other book, you know,
because this is what I got. The ship I'm doing
for the other book is uh, I've got a very
specific ship, very specific way I want it done, you know,
for the illustrations, because you're trying to pack a bunch
of images. Where the fuck is this thing? Why is
it so turned up? Why is he so mad? I
don't understand why he's so mad? Poems me and Scott's
own We're supposed to do a podcast on poems, but
he flakes, so we got to reschedule. Let me see this.
I got a nice sample for you. I'll show you. Huh,
your pricks where to go? Ah? Oh, there's a tapoo
book I got? How about that? There's so many good
books on libsin. Let me see if I got this
any meteorology today? Got a meteorology today? Okay, let's see
if we got hold on? Huh, I got it on here?
Making the dog's nervous? Get it here? Come on, noi
Flora del paramo Ecuador. I can't find this thing. Where
this shit? Did this go? I did a nice I
had a nice pdf. Oh you know what, maybe i'll
send it to here. Hold on, you know, I'm I'm sorry.
I'm making you guys wait. You know it's just not
it's an example. What was it? I can't find the
damn I'm so disorganized man, someone helped me. Someone helped me.
I really wanted to share this thing. Where the fuck
did this example go? Let's see, got nine thousand books?
Oh arach nightis just a total disaster documents. Where was
this plan for Diltrician? Oh? There we go, Okay, let's see.
There we go drinking from the air. Oh wait here, well,
now it's launching in design. I'm all, I'm fucked. I'm
all fucked up over here. Hold on, hang on, hang on,
hang on? Where's this thing? There we go? Okay, there
we go? Nice? All right, Oh, it's trying to launch
in design. No, shut up, now you turn this off.
I can't wait to be old and Italian. Fuck, I'm
gonna be so good at it. Give me a second,
hold on, prick, Okay, look here is where to go? Here?
Look see this is what see this is the type
of design style I need. Can help me with this, right,
there's a couple of grammatical errors in the writing because
it hasn't been proof read, so you get the insets
and stuff. Now. I sent this same all the images
in the text to the guy who does a design
for Abrams no offense, and it looks like a damn
health insurance bro shirt. I said, what is this? Huh
look like a fucking design for Uber eats or something.
I don't want that. I don't need that stuff. Oh shit,
just put this down wrong. Okay, anyway, tell mysela, tell
myself how to do the end design. So uh anyway, anyway, Yeah,
what the fuck you had the pigs? Yeah, we're gonna
get the pigs actually unpaid assistance. Yeah, maybe maybe you know,
I don't know. We'll figure out something now, technologies on
my side. So uh, photos for the cover because I
don't know that for that cover they didn't want it. Oh,
I should send this over there? Did you guys? What
did you guys do for Easter? Did you have a
nice time for Easter? Over there? Let's see this. Yeah,
I gotta get on that. Damn that in design shit,
you know, it's like if you don't do it every day,
you forget what does what? Because it's in designs like
another like another language. So if you don't do it everything,
then you forget you get rusty fuck up. So there's
got to be more discipline. But I could probably get
this done. I mean, this didn't take me that long
to do this. This is like a two page thing,
and it's gonna have like one hundred of these, probably
one hundred and twenty, one hundred and twenty plants from
all over the world. Brazil, South Africa, Australia, Tasmania, which
is Australia, but it's a little different. It's like a
temper rainforest. New Zealand, those another temper rainforest. Mexico, Chile,
parts of North America. Probably minimal North America stuff though,
because I'm trying to get further out there. Maybe a
little bit, you know, but I've got so many photos
to go through. Oh it's a cluster fuck though. Are
you hanging in there? Everybody hanging in there? I spring
equal Knox. Well, oh, somebody's in Salzburg. Are you filming
another commercial? That mosquito trap is fucking sick? What are
you talking about? This? Amazing? I just killed like sixty
more today. They honestly didn't pay me for that. They should,
but they didn't. I was just happy enough to get
the tramp, yeh, to get the trap because I needed.
I wish they would send me sweet scent packets though,
because I don't want to buy them. Yeah, need a
damn job. Yeah, you do everybody does, bless my eggs.
Lobby's se free. Oh. I actually taught myself that on
the piano a little bit. Here's the thing you got
people in Wales. How'd you get into Bodany. It'll be
in a book. Get the book when it comes out
of April too. That twenty twenty six. Like ten killer Oklahoma,
Oklahoma's nice. Shout out to Lawden, Oklahoma. Shout out to
the Wichita Range the limestones. Well, actually we're Titas granite,
but there's some nice limestones in the on the east
side of Oklahoma. I want to go up there, you know,
just peck to peck the dogs and a kid just drive,
just go. He just left. Well, he was really slamming
those na's. He was slaying eight years so bridey. He
was hitting those na's hard, like he like he was
gonna feel like he was expecting to feel something for him.
A favorite this junk population of his species? Do I
have a favorite disjunk population of his speech? Yes, it'd
be Hissparo, Cyprus, Arizonica north of Deming, New Mexico, and
a Cook range. I met these old rednecks out there.
They were nice, though they were nice. It was in
the middle of nowhere, and they were like, oh, we
came to look at this man that apparently someone threw
some poor old chinamen down there, and ah, someone through
some poor old chinamen down there in the early twentieth century.
And then they shot on Texas for a while. They
went on like a rant about Texas, like there's no
public land in Texas. These were like like died in
the wool, redneck. It was kind of funny. They were
nice guys though, And then you go on this long
hike up this fucking through a lot of cool flora too.
There's a lot of cool It's kind of like a
sky island, the Cook's Range in Deming, New Mexico, and
there's a dis junk population growing on the north side
of the Cook's Range up against the cliff, the north
facing cliff of Arizona, Cyprus, and they're they're like huge trees.
It's it's really fucking cool. There's a couple up on
the cliff too, but there's tons of cool plants. There
a lot of cool native history there too. It was
all Apache and a lot of Apache history. I think
there was during some of the war the Indian Wars.
There was a lot of a patch that was like
a big hideout, you know, as they thought the honky
Deaf cult it was coming west into their lands. A
lot of cool limestone too, ever, finding like cryingoway fossils
and stuff. You gotta go, you know, you gotta go
out there. New Mexico's got a lot of nice stuff.
Me and Alan Rockefeller will be at the the Fungus
Fair in Cloudcroft, New Mexico on July twenty ninth. And
then we were thinking about doing like a tour thing
for Costa Rica, which he was. He invited me to
do that one an Ecuador, and I was like, all right,
this is not really my thing. I don't do tours,
you know, but it could be cool. And I don't
really like having to interact with the public. But this
would all be plant people and nerds and stuff anyway,
so it doesn't sound so bad. But he's offered to
pay for it. So him and Maddy sent me down
there and I said, wow, this is nice. It's just
something else. Everyone was really cool. It was just like
hanging out with a bunch of science nerds and biology
nerds for ten days, you know who, And like there
were some hacker people in her two like these you know,
these tech guys do a lot of stuff, you know,
like hacker stuff. I said, wow, I don't know about
that stuff. And uh, just you know, going around the
Upper Amazon for two weeks, it was ten days, it
was fucking nice. It was really cool. And so you know,
I think they paid like twenty five hundred bucks, but
you get all free meals and lodging and shit. It's
a fucking that's the thing, right, that's the thing, Like
this is it's expensive. Shit, it's the bummer. You know.
I wish we could just knock over a brakes truck
and just like you know, bring a bunch of people,
because there's the people who need it the most, probably
don't have money for it, but whatever. Anyway, but yeah,
so we might do that. We've been Costa Rica, which
again Costa Rica, I thought, this is like I've been
around you know, I've heard a lot of lot of
hippie white girls, no offense, talk about how they just
went to Costa Rica and it was still amazing. And
so that was kind of the image I had that
I associated with Costa Rican and indeed that's there and
it's real but no offense to any of them. But damn,
when I got there, I was like, man, it's so divert.
The fucking dry forest. There's cacti, columnar cacti cool of
gaves all the cool dry forests stuff, which dry forests
aren't like deserts. Obviously they're get a lot of rain,
but then they've got a six month dry season. Then
there's the cloud forest, a bunch of cool oak species.
You get the epiphetic blueberries. You get genera that you
more commonly see in the temperate latitudes like you'd see
in the fucking rocky mountains, but at much lower elevations.
But they're going at nine thousand feet or ten thousand
feet in the Paramou or the sub Paramo. Really cool habitat.
And I met a lot of great people and stayed
a couple of days with my friend Harve Thomas, who, uh,
I guess he's from Arkansas. Like I saw, he's like
an old white guy from markets. No fence, no fence,
you gonna piss some people off. Not trying to all right,
go clutching your fucking pearls yet, but uh, you see
all white guy from market, You're like, oh shit, I'm
gonna have to like tiptoe around it. That got it,
you know whatever. But he ended up being dope as
really fucking cool guy. Really, I mean he's loose man
and uh And I guess he moved down there in
like the sixties, Like he moved there in the sixties
to get away from Vietnam because he knew it was
a bullshit ass war people were getting, you know, totally exploited.
So he moved down to Uh, he moved down to
Costa Rica and then started like an herb farm. And
that was where I filmed that iboga video. Uh saw
Bannistereopsis flowering the ayahuasca vine. Saw a bunch of a
bunch of great plants. Man gorana, you know the like
the caffeine drink that they sell and energy drinks. Sometimes,
what do I feel as an edible fruiting plant that's
underrated Prunas Texina one hundred percent through some dirt, socks
and mosquitoes. I think that'd be a good idea, Like
work up a sweat, sweat and to the oldies and
then just take a little washcloth and just you know,
like a sponge and just get it smell and rank
as hel and stuff that in the trap. I bet
it would work. You know. I don't want to take
money away from Biogens for their sixty dollars sixty dollars
for three packets of the sweet scent, but you could
probably do that too. But that sweet scent, man, I
don't know how they do it. Seriously, It's like the
size of a silica packet, and it's just fucking god,
it's awful. It literally smells like a stinky Russian no offense.
I only say it because I've got stinky. I got
a Russian friend who smells fucking terrible when he gets sweaty.
And it's not his fault, it's his external flora. But
the guy fucking stinks. I mean, it's a very distinct smell,
you know, those those Russians. Anyway, Okay, shit, what was
I gonna do? Here we go. I can't wait to
be so discombobulated when I've got when I'm older, and
I got like they got to put on a reading glasses.
You know, I could go, shit, what the fucking then
put the glasses on my ice heat. That's some very
but he's wearing a priest costume. Anyway, I got these
se man I got so much ship to ship everywhere.
There's just stuff everywhere. That's my reminder to myself. I
don't put things away until I know I don't need
to be reminded of them anymore. Yeah. Yeah, prunas Techsana
would be uh would be great to see or not
to see, to get at the cultivation more. We went
to go collect seed. It's not ready yet. It's such
a crime that that thing is not grown more. It
would probably do well in Oklahoma, you know, I want to.
I have like visions of some people just growing fields
of all these rare, you know, native plants that nobody
appreciates because the world wants boogaan views and fucking crape myrtles,
which is also what my book is about. Maybe I'll
read from it later, but but it's the book is about,
you know, our relationship with plant life, how fucking deranged
it is as a result of our disconnection, you know,
like how native things being native isn't It's not some
puritanical elitist bit to be on. It's just pragmatic. It's
it's all rooted in ecology and connection and time, you know,
time spent evolving in a place with a cast of
other living organisms that also composed that ecosystem. How everything
has its own segment of native flora. How you know,
the whole idea of like needing to go to national
parks to see incredible things is not real. It's obsolete.
There were incredible things where your house is now, before
it all got destroyed to put up dollar generals, walmarts,
data centers, and et cetera. And you can bring those
things back by killing your fucking lawn. And you know,
hyping these things up in culture and planting them, you know,
going out to like parks, like talking to your city
hall and just advocate. Pretty shit. We had a meeting here.
They brought my house up. They used my house as
an example. These like painted face so much makeup, they
look like a drag queen. God. It's just, you know,
these people, I just spent my whole life trying to
just stay out of their world. They're the people who
go into local politics because they got to get They
got to get their sisters, their sister in law's brother
a construction contractor, or their their uncle's wife's a developer,
and she needs to get a you know, she needs
to make sure her development goes through and it bulldozes
the woodland to put up you know, four hundred ugly
houses or whatever. So that's why people go into city politics.
And anyway, they were talking about native plants, and you know,
they just it's kind of like this thing they say
for the end of the day. There's a small crew
of people that was, you know, organizing for native plants,
and they, you know, they're like, yeah, we have to
hear it. I guess by you know, by law. You
guys filed this thing. We're gonna we'll sit we'll hear
it out. But you could tell us his total irol.
They don't give a shit that probably you know, playing
fucking Candy Crush on their phone while they're sitting up
there listening to people come to the mic and speak
about native plant ordinances and they use my house is
an example of what not to do. It was funny,
But my shit is tidy. I keep it clean, I
keep it pruned. If anyone, you know, if anyone came
to take it away from me, God, you see me
on the news because it's my place of peace. It's
the reason you haven't seen me on the news yet,
you know, Calm me down so much biodiversity in my
fucking year. I got four species of lizards, three species
of amphibians, you know, tons of birds. You look at
my house from a drone zoomed up, it's like the
only green thing in a sea of dead lawn. I
love it when alone looks dead though what it should be,
you know, especially when you live in a place where
it's one hundred and five degrees or six months out
of the year. So anyway, all right, yeah, it's down
here in South Texas. You know, it's a heavily repressed area.
What if ten species of amphibians, now, I would love
to I get chirping frogs, and I get the Gulf
Coast toads, and uh oh, you're someone saying something cool.
If anyone is curious about what you can use as
a DIY a mosquito attract and has a comprehensive list
of different chemicals, it's just lactic acid, man, It's literally
just lactic acid and maybe urea. There's a couple other
things too. Their organic sense. It's not like the stuff
they put in there is toxic. It's just you know,
it's it's lactic acid is basically sweat is that right?
I think so it smells like sweat, I mean, and
that's what's attracted, and that's what kind of clued me
in that that was the main thing that attracted. Oh,
the hummingbird showed up. That's nice. Speaking of speaking of
my think, y know, it's so much fucking life around
my yard is just such a fucking haven. Got I
go out and I go into the world. I want
to puke. I'm looking at like personal injury attorney signs
and you know, car dealerships, all his nauseating shit, idiots
driving around the giant jacked up trucks, no fence. I
know some nice people that have overpriced, you know, oversized
over compensation vehicles, and they're very nice people. But I'm
just saying, right, and I come back and I see
all this stuff. I see money, worshiping, materialism, garbage, lack
of creativity, lack of Then I want a fucking puke.
I come back to my yard and it's like just
cleanses me. It's like an enema of the mind, the
mind and a spirit. You know, It's like someone stuck
a tube and they're flushed all a all the shit
out of there and cleansed it, and then I feel
it's so pleasant, and I just my daughter and I
just put up a purple Martin house. Horribly built, horribly.
It's like cheap plastic. You got it from practice supply.
It's a fucking ripoff. It's like one hundred and fifty
bucks for this thing. And then I found out it's
made out of plastic that's got the density of a
milk carton. The pieces snap off. She was being very
good while I was throwing a fit too, because I
put it on. I put the floor on the wrong
way to second floor and it didn't line up with
the pole. Ah fuck, I gotta throw throwing stuff around,
you know it. It's like a Tony Soprano style temper tantrument. Sorry, baby,
I'm sorry. Don't don't repeat what I'm saying. You know,
I'm sorry. I'm acting like a toddler right now. You're
more mature than me. If this went, but that's literally
what happened to me. And then the whole time you're
throwing shit, you're keeping in mind that this is one
hundred This thing costs you one hundred and fifty bucks.
It's made out of plastic. Was probably made by six
year olds in Beijing, and soon we're gonna have six
year olds making those plastic houses. Hero, right, he's gonna
change stuff. Right, We're gonna we're gonna have exploited child labor. Okay,
I'm just kidding. But anyway, we finally got it up,
and so it's fucking nice man. It's you know, you
gotta create a habitat. But I didn't want to put
it up. I got out a year ago, but I
didn't want to put it up then because the trees
weren't big enough. Now I got some tepewahes who came
to pull over a Lenti for Basi that I put up,
and they grow so fast it's like instant shades. So
now I can put that thing up so it's not
just getting blasted by the sun. So we put that up. Yeah,
it's so nice man. And I don't have a big lot.
I've got a tiny lot. It's just dense, you know,
and it's literally blowing the mind. That's breaking the brain
of people at city Hall. They don't they don't understand
why would you not want a lawn? Just crazy crazy.
My yard is so much cooler. It's not like temperature wise,
sounds amazing at night. You know, I've talked about all
this before you get Zip'm not born anybody, but just
in case, sounds amazing. And like the fucking tree crickets,
it's like a oh, it's so pleasant, so pleasant. No,
I don't want to do I can't do life in
my yard. I'm not staying here. But but yeah, but
anybody could do that. And I planted dance and then
you just get those hedge clippers, those head you know
it looks like an alligator guard. Just head it up,
give it a haircut. You gotta go in. You got
to remove some other stuff, you know it. It's like something
is getting now competed by a faster growing plant. You
got to go remove it. But when you're planting a
native plant garden, you're basically doing ecological succession, right, go
look it up. Primary succession, secondary succession. The first things
you plant are things that are not going to be
there in two or three years. That's the best way
to do it. Like you're gonna plant the annuals. Shit,
they can take the full sun. The first year here,
I got so blasted with sun and I was tired
of having the water I just got some of those
sunflower cultivars that grow big as hell, you know. I
bought them a scamazon or some and I put the
seeds directly into the ground, watered it and they they
worked great. They grow fast as hell. They get up
to eight feet tall. Work as a shade screen for
everything else. You gotta water them, but not that much.
They work as a shade screen for everything else. They
you know, which they create like a mini canopy shade structure.
Because before that, I've been putting up little you know,
like t posts and shade cloth because my yard it's
so fucking hot on here. Shit was just getting irradiated,
you know. And so I planted these sunflowers and they
just took over. And and but they're annuals, so they're
not going to be around in a year. And then
I got an infestation. It was so great. I got
an infestation of bordered patch caterpillars, which turned into butterflies.
We had thousands of butterflies flying around, and they destroyed
the sunflowers. They ate the sunflowers because the native ones here.
This was a fancy called the bar bread in the greenhouse.
You know. That's why I had to get the ski
the season scamson. But the native sunflower has evidently evolved
something that keeps those bordered patch caterpillars away, or rather
they've selected for it, because it's the weedy native sunflower.
It's everywhere, and you never see them getting chewed on
by these caterpillars. Well, I had put in this soft,
you know, poodle version of these native plants that just
grows big and puts up a big flower, and it
didn't have those same chemical defenses, probably cesscaterpene lactons, because
that's what a lot of members of ESTRASI have. It
didn't have his strong ciscaterpene lactons, and it wasn't part
of this evolutionary arms race between the local species of
bordered patch butterfly or the local ecotype of border patch
butterfly and that local ecotype of heli anthus anyways, and
so they just got annihilated, and that was good because
they'd already grown up, gotten tall, provided shade for my
other plants, and I would have had to remove them anyway.
And so now all I had to do since all
the leaves and since we're denuded of leaves by the caterpillars.
All I had to go do is take a machety
to the stalks and cut down the stalks. It was great,
worked out great. But that's basically what you're doing when
you're doing a native plant garden ecological succession. If you're
starting from zero, if you're starting from a bare a
bare patch of ground, that's what you need to do,
which is what a lawn is. It's just the barren
patch of ground. The roots barely got into the ground.
The lead. You know, you're keeping the ship bonds eyed.
So if you're keeping if it's that tall, like most
grass is, the roots are only that deep, they're not
doing ship for the soil, which makes them really easy
to kill unless you have bermuda, in which case you
have to go in and hit it with round up,
targeted targeted applications of round up. Right, it's nasty when
they're spraying on crops. You want to eat it. But
it's one of the least toxic herbicides, you know, so
it's kind of a necessary evil. But yeah, but yeah,
so that's what you do. So find out what the
pioneer species are. The native pioneer species the weedy quote
wheedy native species in your area, and uh, and then
plant those first. If you're starting with a bear a
bear lawn, if you go trying to plant the shit
that's like third or fourth in line for ecological succession,
you know, the stuff that doesn't get established till later
and it's slow growing and needs a little bit of
shade whatever, And you try planting that first, you can
have a hard time. You know. I had we get
Verbosena and coelioides. It's a great native plant, spreads like
wildfire covered and pollinator is probably invasive as hell on
other continents where there's no checks and balances for it.
And so, but you throw seeds in it, you rip
up a long on throw seeds. You'll have a fucking
thicket of verbsen in celioides. And then the next year
it'll be gone. While it'll recede, but it'll be gone.
And meanwhile, you're protecting that ground from getting beaten, beaten
down by the sun. It's all about protecting the ground,
you know, It's all about protecting that ground from getting
heated by the sun, at least to the latitude that
I live at all right, round up absolutely does kill
bermuda grass. I've done it plenty of times. I don't
have any bermuda grass. And what also kills bermuda grass
is once once shit gets so dense, like this is
outside my window right now, once it gets so dense,
you don't have you know, it's there's no there's no
life for it. That's why I like planting it. This,
I don't like it. I hate fucking hate it when
people do this in a line, even lease spaced with
a diamulch. What is it ship? What's it in doctrinated
which said indoctrinated garbage? You know you're planting like a
fucking like you're planting in front of a CBS pharmacy
or a bank, you know, so what's the fucking landscaping?
Looks like it for the Wells Fargo? So part of
the death cult that brought you to the lawn. Oh god,
I see the name squarespace and I just want to barf.
You know, they they're really they're pushing it. If I
knew a better web hoster for the website, I would
do that instead. All right, what do we want to
talk about? No, I'm not actually a priest. This is
all a joke. Well I shouldn't say that, you never
know I could take address to turn up events and
abandoned the botany thing and just going to you know,
you get all expenses paid, right. Oh god, you see
that Bill Burbert when he was on a he was
on a morning talk show and the talk show host said,
didn't you what I heard? You got in some trouble
for that that those comments? Man, but the Catholic Church,
you think he went a little too far? And his
response was, tell do you think the Catholic Church went
a little too far? Yeah? Oh he's great, all right,
epic stuff. How can I buy prints of your photos?
If you want to buy prints of my photos the
way I've done it before, email me, tell me what
you want. I place an order with easy canvas prints
with the full resolution, like fifteen megabyte version of the photo.
And then and then oh thank you David, and then
you and then I'll send it to you. Then you
get it that way. But I don't you, you know,
I do these canvas things because they're sturdy, and they're easier,
and they look nicer and they don't have that reflective plexiglass.
How do I learn more about my local native species
for planting? Use the app I naturalist. Uh use the
explorer feature type in your county, type in plants in
the what you're looking for. There's one field for what
you're looking for plants, birds, reptiles, whatever, And there's another
field for location. Type in plants, type in your county.
See what comes up. Some of that ship's going to
be in a lot is not. You can find out
whether it's in basive or not when you click on
the tax on name and the species name. Yeah, anyway,
that's the best way. Or join your native Local Native
Plants site. It's the best thing. Autism speaks makes me
want to barf. I don't know what the fuck he's
talking about. Is this like a I can't tell if
it's like someone it's like a ship poster or is
it a or is it I don't know. Maybe he's
talking about his author I don't know. Educate my local
communities that I get off you. You know, that's easier
said than done. Pallet's what I've been trying to do, right,
It's a you know, I stand out down there, really do.
It's a very square community. They can be very nice though.
It's a very square and repressed community, very very string
You know, they want to They want the lawns, even
though we're literally like thirty minutes from the peyote gardens
in a place where you know, plants dominate that have
evolved to store pounds of water and carbohydrates because it's
so goddamn dry, and they want a lawn, you know.
Oh yeah, they got an app called Merlin for birds.
I saw this thing. I saw this thing today. It's
really targeted advertising on social media, which is also terrible,
but they were targeting it towards me because I saw
some cool birds in Costa Rica and I was uploading
photos and whatever, and so they targeted this thing towards me.
That's like a little gadget looks like one of those
little mini speakers you attached to your backpack, and it
records bird noises and then uses AI when you're hooked
up the Internet to tell you what birds were around you,
which is cool, but it's two hundred and fifty bucks.
I'm not going to fucking pay that. So anyway, growing endemics, now,
that's my carnivorous plants over there. I got some rare
romeliads that a friend grew. I got some horse cripplers
going and uh and then some farroal cactus. That's it.
Not enough. I got some Marcella fern water fern. I'm
not using as much of that space as I need to.
It should be growing more so. Anyway, Uh, yeah you too. Yeah,
have a good four twenty bird call app anyway. No,
I'm not in Costa Rica. I'm at home. I'm going
to Atlanta tomorrow and might go to you know, I
might go to fucking Turkey and Jim and then I
think I might go to New Mexico and in May,
and then we might and then I'm gonna go to
New Mexico again the cloud Craft with Allen at the
Mycology Fair. Ah in Cloudcraft, New Mexico. Yeah, but I
got a bunch of stuff. I got it. Man. I
need like a fucking you know, I need an I
need a kind of a system or something. I'm losing,
you know, I lose my shit. I gotta start taking notes,
writing stuff down. But I can't do it because I
have you know, I have one thought and then five
seconds later I got another one. Lose it too much. Okay,
we'll look through this. We're gonna go over here. Well
see if we can read a little bit. Where did
this thing go? Read a little bit from this book.
There were some good sections. I was reading parts of
it last night. I gotta finish this fucking thing by tuesday. Damn, man,
that's crazy. There's no time to do anything, right. I
gotta get this back to the copy editor by tuesday.
All right, let's go. Okay, Yeah, you gotta get that
ro unit. You know, you can get ro units for
like one hundred and fifty bucks and then you can
try to install them yourself. It's a pain in the ass. See,
it's not a pan the ass. You just you got
to drill into the pipe a little bit, you know,
but you need room under your sink. But an RO
unit is great. That's what I water all the carnivorous
plants with because you know, those those guys at Carnivoral
really got me in to thinking about water, you know,
for the fluoridation of the water supply. And you know,
have you ever seen a COMMI drinking tap water? And
they got me thinking about particulates in the water, which
is really bad, especially in a lot of Texas because
how easily limestone dissolves. Probably not as it's probably cleaner
in areas where there's more granite or a volcanic rock. Well,
I don't know about that, because West Texas is a
lot of volcanic and they have ship tapwater too. Well,
it doesn't taste bad, it tastes good, but it's still
got high ppms. All those minerals that are good. You
just want to make sure it's minerals and not like
petroleum petroleum byproducts fucking West Texas. Not fine, Ray, what
are you talking about? Middlando desk is not polluted? So
the ppms. You get a tag like a tapwater meter
which is like fifteen bucks, not meter, a reader you know,
probably made in Shina by six year olds, and and
you put it in the tap water, and I'll give
you a rough estimate of what your ppms are here,
it's like five point fifty. I got the r the
ro thing for like one hundred and fifty bucks. Somebody,
these fucking companies wild charge your nine hundred bucks total
scam artists such a scam. You don't need to pay
that to get it for one hundred and fifty. If
you got it and put it under your sink, if
you need to hire a plumber, they're gonna rip you
off to but you could probably figure out how to
do it yourself. Just take a day set a day's sight.
And after I put the ro in, the ppms were
like fourteen and I could It was cool to be
able to see it with the tapwater meter. You know,
it's got two prongs in there and it measures the current.
So anyway, you got to get that ro man. You
gotta get You can't be messing around with this shit.
You get kidney. I mean, we're all gonna get cancer eventually,
you know. See that's part of the crime pay optimistic
ethos here. We're all gonna cancer in messy. But if
you could stave it off a few years by not
drinking poisoned water, why not? You know? Thoughts on poison
ivy I love it. I got a video on poison
ivy I still have to do for the for the
YouTube over there. You know Anacardi a C. Let's talk
about Anacardi ac Okay, wonderful family, like one third of
the plants of allergenic compounds in them, I had. I
did a podcast with Susan Bell Nopelu. I always do that,
Who's from the US Botanic Garden. Awesome lady studies antacardiac
and there's a lot of neotropical members of Anacardia ace
that are incredible, like amphipterigium and uh, oh god, what's
the other one. I have to look it up on
I D I saw some really cool ones growing with
laf difusa, the false peote and correct the row. But anyway,
there's really there's a lot of really cool members of
this family. But yeah, one third have the the genic compounds,
which will is horrible. As rash Man, you will just
you know, you will get I said, wow, really we
have some issues. You touch that stuff and it oxidizes
to black. At least you rush you all does. But
then there's other compounds too, Lithrea costica and Chile produces litriol,
which I think you need to be sensitized to. Cash shoes.
Of course this will be in an upcoming video because
they're naturalized. They're not native, but they're naturalized in Costa Rica.
Cash shoes. The fruit is toxic. It's well, it's not toxic,
it's allergenic. So uh and that's not you rush you all.
It's a different compound. I don't know what compound that is.
You could ask deepseek AI is generally terrible, but I've
been using it to ask some questions because it's very helpful.
It'll save AI will answer shit for me that would
have taken me forty minutes to you know, parse through
research papers and read right. But again, I'm not using
it to like make songs for me, your videos or
anyth to. So it's you know, still probably using up
a lot of energy from data centers, and it's terrible,
but uh, you know it's gonna be doing horrible things regardless,
I might as well use it for good things like education. Anyway,
why is this thing coming up? How do I turn
this out? There? We go all right? No, I use
deep Seat because it was the ones it's the one
that pissed off all the American oligarchs, and it's free.
I'm really curious about China, man. I know it's an
authoritarian state, but we're headed there too, so you know
what the fun But I'm curious about China because they
put money in there's so much anti China propaganda, but
also China seems to actually be putting money into education,
and not just education that's going to benefit them. For
private corporations like this can be you know, monetized somehow
are used this this the research that comes from you know,
the research that comes from this science, from funding this
science can be used to benefit corporations or whatever, or
you just anthropersentaer But they're actually putting money into biological
sciences and earth sciences too, like they fund botany over there.
Like that's crazy, Like this is you know, we live
in a country where senators mock learning about the fucking
living machine that is the ecosystem around you because they're
too shit for brain to see. Why it's important? What
does that do? It doesn't do anything. Why are we
studying the sex laves of quail? You know? That's like
a fucking car mechanic voicing a strong opinion on neurosurgery.
You're a fucking idiot. Just don't say anything. I'm not
saying car mechanics areus, but no, when it's your place.
There's plenty of things I shouldn't voice a strong opinion
about because I don't know shit, and I would say
that I wouldn't voice an opinion on them. You have
like a fucking Republican senator voicing voicing opinions on you know,
why study the fucking reproductive cycles of a certain mammal
or a reptile or a shuit. The fuck up and
sit down. Stick to what you know, right, nethotism and
fucking rewarding. Uh, you know the corporations that pay you.
You're sleazy. Okay, anyway, let's go back to you know,
that's why people go into politics, right, you say what
they do? Over? You say what they're doing. Oh wow,
you got a lot of astrophy him see Uh is
that from then? Oh? No, I hope it's not from
the wild. Uh? Hold on, hold, just give me a second, right,
holld on a second? Okay? Anyway, Oh god, what is
the maybe like right now? Oh? You know what my
friend Mackenzie, who studies, what is she studying? She's studying
brass casey. I don't know. She's an academic. She's She's
not some bum like me. She's actually an academia. Over
she's she was just in the maybe looking at the
Titano fighting and Cara sense that fucking mono, you know,
the only species in his family that grows in in
these like saltpan deserts. God, you gotta look at this
fucking thing, man, Hold on, you pull this up. Let
me pull this up on the phone. See this is
more personal. It's like we're sitting on a porch right
or in a confession booth. But I don't want to
hear any of your ship. I don't want to hear
all the bad stuff you done because it probably freaked
me out. You know, this is I could just show
you stuff on my phone. It's you know, it's it's
really it's you know. I said, what they're doing now
is pretty pretty impressive. Where's the ship posters? You know,
if anyone's been ship posting, I haven't seen it. I'm
sure there's been a couple shitty comments in there, you know,
because everyone's mentally ill now and emotionally ill, which I
have full full sympathy. I'm there too, you know, but
it causes people to, you know, leave some shitty comments
every once in a while. And I haven't seen any yet.
I don't know why somebody's not trying our greetings still
we got we got a guy from India watching greetings
greetings over there. You guys got some nice botany classes online.
I've seen that. Oh you know what what is that company?
Some company hit me up. They were nice guys. Let
me find this. There's there's bodany classes online based on
the crime pays, some of the videos that you can take.
Where the funck was this? What was this guy's name? Gwang?
Here we go, Miyagi Labs, There we go. Nice guys
seen him and his friend. I did a video call
with them and they got Yeah, Gwang and Tyrone from
Miyagi Labs. I should I should promote this because it's
pretty cool. Miyagi Lab dot com and they like a
little curriculum so you could test your botany knowledge. And
I looked over it and I was like, this is
fucking nice. You guys done a good job. It's really good.
You know, systematics, phylogeny, plant id all that stuff. Mayagi Labs.
What was I looking at? What was I gonna look up?
Oh Christ Jesus, when I was I gonna look up?
Before I got the strength to talk about Mayagi Labs?
Who was Oh Tigana fighting right? I don't know why
you guys are watching it. You just want to see me,
you know, Okay, let's see where are the Oh yeah, Christ,
look at this thing. This is a fucking weird plan.
So this thing was only discovered maybe six or seven
years ago. And it's so weird. It's so weird that
it's in its own family and Brassic Kayley's the mustard order. Oh,
she don't got any big, any bigger foam those death sets.
So that's in the salt pan deserts of Namibia. So
and I was gonna go see it with my friend Russell,
but you know, my daughter, being diagnosed with leukinia, got
in the way. Whoa shit, really dropped the fucking downer
right there. Uh, she's okay. Two years later, she's okay.
She finished treatment in July. That was a horrible fucking
time period, though. God, I wanted to die. Okay, Let's
look at titana fighting again. Where's this said, Let's look look,
let's look it up on a naturalist over there. All right, Uh,
you gotta see this thing. God, it's so weird. It's
such a weird form, and it's got to be such
a fucking insanely stressful environment for any plant to grow in.
So here's an arbarium collection of this titani fighting Paris sense.
That's a branch. You can see the leaves are extremely
attenuated and they just was like these waxy rosette leaves
on these branches, and uh that was I took that
photo at their burium ah and wind hook, but uh
to see it in habitat, God damn. Yeah, look at
that thing like that. That's a cluster of leaves on
this thing. To Gatto fighting caras sense And at the time,
that was the time I took that. That was the
only observation on nine Ashlarists. But people have been out
there and gotten better photos of it, which somebody should
really put up because no wait, view observations. M M
my ahead, thank you, Okay, cool? Look at this? God,
Oh what a cool jeez. The habitat must be fucking
insane too. That's the thing I always want to say
when I when I see a cool plant, I always
want to see the habitatic growsing. You have to see
the habitat. It's nothing without the habitat. There's no context,
there's no you know. When you see the habitat, then
you can start to imagine how this thing evolved, what's
selected for it. There's there's a picture of habitat. Who
is this this Mackenzie? No, someone else? Oh that's a
guy gotten a tiff with he he's kind of a prick.
He's fine. Okay, there you go. Yeah, what a weird man?
What a god? What a word? All? Okay, we're hitting that.
We're hitting an hour here, I might might dibove, so God,
that is just so fucking wild man. Yeah. So that habitat,
this extreme habitat where not much can grow, very salty, soil,
very dry. I don't know what the annual rainfall is
like has produced this plant? That? And and what's weirder too,
is how is this thing not discovered to science until
why does it describe twenty fourteen? I think crazy? Yeah,
in the mid desert is Arizona without cactus, but you
got plenty of miss Sims, plenty of isoace. The hell
that I walk in through, I don't know, buddy, what
did you walk in through? What do you? What are you?
You're getting a stiffy or something? What you Relax? Okay?
I got shit, I gotta do today. So I do
have to go in like ten minutes. But uh uh,
let's see any preference in stogies. Yeah, go for what
is the company that makes the fat bottom Betty? Those
are nice, those are very nice, you know, but again,
you don't actually, hey, just you know, let it sit.
Go visit Volcanoes of elt seat or I'd love to.
I just don't want to be thrown a concentration camp.
Botany YouTubers Learn your Land is good. A lot of
botany programs I honestly can't stand. And they just they
fucking bore me to tears. I can't do I can't
do it, you know. And they're overproduced, and crime pays
will never be overproduced. I've thought about it. The closest
I got was drone footage and fucking stock music, but
that was when I still had a free subscription through
the company that originally tried to monetize the Facebook page.
How well that work out for them? Ah? Where do
you get free stock music? That's what I want to
Who knows where I can get free stocking? Somebody got
a password that could let me have for free stock music.
We won't use it that much, just me and Al.
I won't share it. I'll send you stickers or something.
Does anybody have that I shouldn't put that out there?
Does anybody have a password for a stock for an
unlicensed stock photo or stock music website? You know the
YouTube stock music? Nah? This was nice. The one I
used to have. You could type in like a mood
and it would describe it, you know, for you instrumentals.
I just want instrumental. You know what's his? Hunter from
Cactus Quest makes his own music. I'm not I'm not
that talented. I don't know how to do that stuff.
I don't know how he does it. He made me
a little something once, but I fucking lost that. I
bet it's probably in an email or something. You know, Hunter,
Go check out Hunter at Cactus Quest. He's a wonderful man,
really nice guy. Get Ai to make you some stock music?
How do you do that? Uh? Oh? You know mention
an Ai pisses some people off. It really does. Email
for music crime pays, but body doesn't you know if
you get something instrumental, you know he did with the
ship that uh you know what I've been listening to
a bunch is god, man, there's been some great ship.
What is some of the I can't even remember the
a lot of I've been listening to a lot of jazz.
There's a great album called Blue Break Beats, and it's
more of that blue not stuff. This there's like four volumes.
That's fucking great. That solid music. It's so good. Been
listening to uh oh yeah, Bobby Humphrey, that's a great
she's great. Ah, Grant Green, it's all black music, you know,
really good shit. Grant Green. Uh oh, who's that organist?
The electric organ? Fucking a oh the meters. I've been
listening to a lot of meters. Yeah, Jimmy Smith. This
dude's fucking this guy's great. Man, Oh my god, it's
like that electric organ that like, you know, seventies rust
belt electric organs sound Oh so good man. You know
what else recently played some blues emotion. This is you know,
we're getting a little distracted here, but there's a lot
of good shit there is. I've been using it. It's
so good. I've been using it for some of the podcasts.
Oh yeah, Lobby's to free. He's good. It's where I'm
and I'm sampled that slim shady bit from Yeah. I
don't know. I've really gotten into a lot of that shit.
Herbie Hancock, of course, fucking solid great stuff. Nice nice
You put that on and you could do anything, so
it helps you focus. Solid shit. Oh, Tommy Guerrero, he's
a nice guy. That's some nice instrumental stuff. Anyway, all right,
Chile was uh like two weeks more than two weeks,
and it's I start missing my girl. It sucks, I
start missing my little girl. How's Al doing. He's doing
really good. You know. He's doing public bathroom reviews, you know,
in the field House bathrooms in Chicago, doing some great stuff.
Really got really gotten onto, you know tile we me
and Al did if you go far enough back on
YouTube channel, we did a we did. We tried to
get into the Sloan Ural Factory on Mannheim Road. You know,
this is like two thousand and nine or ten, and
uh may it's twenty ten, and they wouldn't let us in,
you know, because we're just a couple of yahoos. But
he just got invited to actually do what is this?
It's a dead roach? Jesus Christ, Where the fuck did
that come from? Looks like it's just the characters that
lost the abdomen. Anyway, I don't really get roaches here
anymore because the lizards. Uh. But we got invited to
the Sloan Urinal Company, the Sloan Valve Company. You know,
we'll see journal. It's just a jurnal company. They make
valves too. That's what they want to be know for.
I they want to be known for the vale. I
like them for the journals. You know, you go any
and you go to the bedroom anywhere in a tri
state area and you're gonna be you know, pissing in
a Sloan valve, slong ural. So they invited us on
Mannheim Road, which is a fucking which is a piece
of Illinois culture right there. But yeah, so we're gonna
we might, we might. There might be an upcoming video
out of at a Sloan valve. Yeah, you're no factory.
I don't know if they actually you know, forge the
valves there. I don't know. Maybe how do they make
the porcelain, but maybe Wayne Shorter Miles Davis. Yeah, Man,
if you got music recommendations, you could email them to me.
You could put them, comment them on a YouTube video
and I'll probably see it in screenshot it because I
read comments, you know, I will. I'll go through them.
But all that, all that shit is good. That jazz
that like funked. Oh there was a fucking great man.
There was a there's a really good uh let's see
where was it. There's a band out of England. War
is good too, old war you know, why can't we
be friends? God damn it. Oh. Ezel's got a new
record out too. He's a rapper from Oakland, completely unrelated
to this musical style that we're talking about right now,
but he's good, easy a l E. Oh the three Sounds,
that's been some good ship. Three Sounds and uh what else?
What's that other? God damn it? Man? Where does this one?
What is it? R v A Ronnie listen Smith, that's
a good one. Uh, I gotta make a listen to
this because I forget this stuff. Yeah, Ronnie Foster's always solid.
Damn I gotta I got a piss and I don't
even have the jar under the desk right now. You know.
If they're gonna get off soon, where does shit did
it go? I can't find it? Oh? This this band
is so great. This group is so great. It's like,
you know, they're from the seventies early seventies England. I
can't find it. My daughter likes the ojs. Yeah no,
I can't find it anyway. Oh yeah, old you like
all blues JB Huddle, old Chicago electric use like like
smoky west Side dive bar blues. I don't drink. But
I remember the days, you know, Magic Sam all that
shit man. Anyway, Yeah, I can't find this stuff. It's
got it. Such a good such a good song. Though.
I did it as the intro for the for the
Adam Black, the podcast I did with Adam Black. Anyway,
Ammel and the Sniffers, Oh yeah, they're great. All right.
Anybody got any other questions pertinent to the field of botany. Uh,
let's see. Yeah, I don't know. Exercise to protect your back? Yeah,
you got to. You gotta protect you do kettlebell swings.
Ship otherwise your backs. You gotta keep that ship in shape.
You don't get your heart rate up. Uh, enormous kind
of serious. What's enormous is kind of serious. Hold on,
I gotta piss. That can take a lead real quick.
H h all right, okay, I'm big. You know. The
funnest part about getting the colonoscopy is getting to getting
to getting you know, clown around with the doctors and nurses.
You know, given the sensitive nature of the uh, the
sensitive nature of the procedure being performed. Is it true?
P is good for plants? Hey, you gotta diluted with
water though, you know, it's nitrogen, you really do, Damon ty,
he's always recommending pissing on his tricho. Serious, especially since
so many cacti have have evolved tolerance to salty soils.
Why would cacti evolve tolerance to salty soils? Why would
cacti be more uh uh provision evolutionarily speaking for tolerance
to salty soils. Who wants to take a StEB at
that way? Why? Because there's salty soil is more common
in deserts because of the higher evaporation rates from the
heat and the over rainfall. So anyway, So deserts have
evolutionary evolutionarily selected for more salt tolerance, at least compared
to other plants. In cacti, there's smoking things arsenic in
their water. Yeah, plants can do anything. It's just good
old natural selection. Yeah, nine part station two to one
part piss. Wow, that's right. Someone else was saying seven
parts water to one part piss. What am I filming
with Samsung? You gotta get off Apple, They're terrible. Get
off you know. I don't have I have very little
brand allegiance, but with Samsung, I they definitely trust them
a lot more. I wish I could remember. It's goddamn music. God,
it was so good anyway, all right, well, I think
we're almost about done. Who wants to get off? Who's
gotta go? It's already one forty five native mosses. Yes,
I would especially desert mosses because I think they're fascinating.
There's there's a couple that have beard There's like a
bearded moss that grows in West Texas. This fucking I
gotta take this vibing myself on now with this priest outfit,
you get a shirt or some ship. I thought it'd
be funny. I'm giving myself PTSD. I was raised Catholic.
Huh yeah, there's a bearded moss in West Texas, which
it's hilarious, but it's you know, it's again of just
natural selection in the desert where this ship was the
song I'm still looking for. I'm fixated on this. I'm pissed.
If I don't find this thing, I'm gonna start throwing ship.
You know, this's it's really it's no way to be
all right, we'll leave, we'll we'll leave it when we
find what this? Oh was it the a one soul
playlist I made? Oh? Gil Scott hearing the Budos band.
Baby Oh, sugary Otis it's another great one. The original
writer of Strawberry Letter twenty three, that was it, simanned, Yeah,
that's a great fucking bit. This, this is some good shit.
That's a fucking great record. Holy hell, Oh it's good.
I forgot I make these playlists and I forget about
a one. So oh yeah, p funk anyway or fucking deelic?
I think it was anyway? All right? Cool, Well, we're
gonna leave soon. Ever, think of coming to the Carpathian
Mountains of Romania. Lorenzo's deleting his message. What was that now?
I wonder, huh was it a ship posted dick pic?
Or I'm just kidding. You can't post dick pics in
a chant? Oh there you go. Yeah, Carpathian Mountains. Wasn't
it where Vigo was from? Did you see Ghostbusters too?
Wasn't Vigo from Carpathia? I can't remember Romania? Yeah I
probably would. There's some cool mountains there. I want to
go to Turkey. Eastern Turkey seems fucking wild. Used to
be a little hot, you know, in terms of you
might end up in an orange jumpsuit, getting your headsowt
off on video, but you know, because it's but there's
some really cool stuff there. There's some really cool botanists
that I ran, that I followed. They're posting wild shit
all the time, just crazy species in genera, in well
known genera. But they're you know, anyway, look what I
had to make for the Jehovah's witnesses. See that. You know,
they're predatory here, they come here and they prey on
poor people. And so I put this up there. I said, no,
I stopped stuffing pamphlets in my door. Stop coming to
my door. It's creepy, it's weird. I don't want it.
Please please go away, please, eh, you gotta leave, sir, sir,
excuse me, sir. And then look it's fruits of uh.
This is castilla and MORII. I think these seeds will
probably the last one hundred years. Crucifixion throwing great desert plant.
I think I got one coming up in a pot outside.
I got these big terra cotta pots. One's got an
okatio in it for Carrie mcdou lie and some other ones.
And I'll just throw seeds in there, you know, because
that shit's gonna take a long time at Germany. A
lot of desert seeds take a long time in Germany.
If you don't you know, or if you unless you've
cracked the coat on pre treating them or scarfying or
hot water or smoke or whatever the fuck it is,
way you wouldn't be smoke creaming in the desert. But
and so the best way to grow some of them
is just get big pots and throw seeds in it
and forget about it, and maybe put like a top
dressing of gravels. It's a lot of people grow cacti
just straight sewing cacti outside morning sun or like a
shade cloth under the maybe probably in my climate because
it's so high, you probably need to sew them under
the canopy of a tree, like a light shade tree
like tepewahe or any of the memosoid a misquit would
be great, like if you have a big miskuit mesquite.
Some people really trip. They don't like the way I
pronounced it. I said, hey, you know what, it's tough.
You don't have to figure out a way around that,
because I'm not going to start not going to change
my pronunciation for you. Oh here's Banistereops this CAPII and
or barium specimen. It's a cool vine malpigiaceous. All the
malpiggy as have the same flower structure. It's wild. But
look it's got like little maple tomorrows. I need to
put that in your barium. I need to type up
a label for that and put that in your barium.
But yeah, so you get like a big clay pot,
you know, like a long one, like flower box style,
throw some a nice mixture of large grained sand. You
want the large grained sand, not the small grain sand
because that shit holds water and it will clump. And
then you put maybe some you know, bark fines whatever,
fine grain. You want fine grain. If you're doing seedlings,
you put in a big pot and then you get
some of that. They call it pea gravel. You can
get it from any of the big box home despot
or whatever the shit. And it's a little gravel bit
and you put one layer there's one pebble full layer,
like one pebble deep layer on top of that and
it's the most and you could sprinkle cac dice, seeds,
astrophytem the barrel, cact die whatever over that, but it
can't be in full sun if you're in a hot climate,
because it'll just it gets too hot and then just
water as is and they'll come up on their own.
I've seen it happen through a ton of Hamado cactus
Hamata cantas. Here the Rio Grand Valley barrow, which I
would love to see. I mean, if I have to
go to a shopping center, I'd love to at least
see native plants, not even go to it. If I
have to drive, at least see native plants there instead
of horticultural atrocities that crape myrtles. Why are people why
do you plant crpe myrtles in South Texas? Huh? Did
you eat paint chips as a kid? You got hit
on the head or something? What the hell? It's a
totally different climate from where it evolved, right, and just
so hot, requires so much irrigation, total nightmare. Okay, should
we go? Are we done? Here? Are we done? I
think this is done well? Whichie Mirablis and the habitat
very dry habitat's the fog desert only grows with one
or two other plants. Ar three rura, which is like
a shrubby member of Amaranthesy and h and olated autistic
disregard Tony's earlier tantrum. No, don't don't disregard, you get disregard.
Actually Australia, Yeah, I got I gotta get in there.
I gottae into the Pilborough in Australia. Oh, the habitat
is getting fucked there too. It's not surprising. It's all
anthropossetrism everywhere. There's no reverence or respect for the living world. Zujin.
I'm still gonna nag you on some of those questions
when we're I don't know, I didn't see. What are
you teaching at SUOS next year? No, I think they
got I was only doing that because they didn't. They
couldn't find anyone for their body department, and so I
said I would do it. I'd cover it. And it
was fun. I enjoyed it. I love teaching. It's great.
It didn't pay anything, but you know, it didn't feel
like I was working either. It felt like this. But
you have to stay more on topic. I can't go
into like a rant about you know about how I
hate the fucking healthy chair. Well, I'm sure you could,
but you got to keep it short. If you do
I want to make sure to say free Luigi with
like the Super Mario Turtle nice. It would be nice
regardless of your opinions on it. You know, if you
really want to defend the health insurance coming to regardless
of your opinion, you got to appreciate that Super Mario
character the turtles, right anyway? Uh Oh, the mounta Laurel
band in Texas didn't go through. I guess the CPA,
like once again, an accountant has no business writing legislation
on banning plans. It's idiotic. It's like a it's like
an auto mechanic crafting legislation that governs how someone should
do neurosurgery. That uh that, I don't want to be
diddled again. So I'm out someone's got some real cantic trauma.
Ah oh the Mountain Laurel banned. Yeah. So there was
a list of like forty or fifty different species of plants,
half of which are native to Texas that this guy
who's a CPA in the world needs CPAs. I'm not
saying it, but CPAs have no fucking business crafting legislation
about plants, and these plants were due to get banned
because like Mountain laurel mescal beans is is. I guess
it's technically psychoactive, but it's really a poison. And so
probably before you you know, bleed internally or whatever, you
have maybe a hallucination. But this fucking idiot read It's
like he just read like plants are the gods. You
know that book that came out in the seventies about
hallucinogenic plants, but how you can smoke banana peels or something.
And I mean, he wrote this law that was banning
all these all these plant species that I'm sure he
didn't even know what the hell any of them were.
It was fucking idiotic. It would have made it illegal
to grow or possess any of these native plants. Heimius lissifolia.
That's a another one. Supposedly it's native here in South Texas.
Supposedly if you make a tea, you can, uh, you
feel something. I don't know what it's like. I don't
want to try. I'm a fucking grown ass man. I
don't need that. I'm not like in high school trying
to get fucked up. But also that's the idiotic thing
is when you make these things illegal, you make them
more desirable. If it's legal like peote is in Canada.
No one's dying to try it. They're just like, yeah, okay, cool,
cool to know you could feel something if you eat this.
But you know, if once you put it once, you
make it taboo. Now you've made a desire for it,
you've made it a hot item, and you've you've you know,
if it actually is like a usable drug like weed,
like something that people would actually use. No one's gonna
use heimia. None of these things are addictive. How someone's
gonna eat mescal beans? Like, yeah, maybe the same fucking jackasses,
same same the people at the same mental level as
the fucking idiot who wrote this legislation. Maybe they would
eat eat it. But it's a toxic plant. That tura,
that turro is supposed to be illegal. Great plant moth
dollinated big white flowers does well. And you know, uh
disturbed thereas that was on the list they I guess
they took it all down. Someone talks some sense into
this fucking Yahoo and told them, you know, these are
native plants. You can't really legislate this. Not only that,
but no one's going out of their way. I don't
know why this guy did this I think. I don't know.
I mean Texas has still got some They've got some
weird hang ups. It's culture warshit, It's what I think
it is. It's not logic, like they've still got weird
hang ups about pot, Like there's these these drinks they're
trying to legislate pot. I think it started about kratam,
which is actually a cool plants, the ground up leaf
Matrogena speciosa ruby ac. It's a tree. I saw it
when I was in Costa Rica wasn't doing too well.
It's not healthy. It was being grown in botanic garden.
It's native to Southeast Asia, coffee family Rubac. It's got
the same flower structure as the plant they call button
willow here, which is also a ruby ac. It's like
a little globe of kin flowers and it plugs into
opioid receptors, but it's not it's not an opiate. It doesn't.
If you have too much kratam, you're going to vomit.
And that's it, all right, Just the same thing happens
if you have too much peyoti. All right, it's basically harmless.
It's highly addictive, like coffee can be. But you're not
gonna harm yourself on it, and it lower doses. It's
a stimulant and it hide doses. It feels just like opiates.
It's it. That's what sucks about it, because I hate
the way opiates feel. They get me the lauded when
I ripped my shoulder out in the hospital. I fucking
hate opiates. It also, it's opiates have killed a lot
of friends of mine. But but kratam junkies will use
it to help get off opiates because it feels like
op It feels like opiates if you have a lot.
But again, if you have too much, you will just vomit.
It's totally harmless in that regard. And so that was
what the legislation was about. And I think what they did.
They're not even trying to ban it now, which would
be completely tarted, but but they're trying to regulate it,
which makes sense, like you should be able to regulate it.
That's fine. I think that's mean, But trying to ban something,
it's just it doesn't work. It doesn't we it because
the first drug war worked so great, right, right, that's
the fucking logic here. Just the first you know, the
goal is to have an educated citizenry that's not so
stupid that they want to go eat the matter phylum,
Mountain Laurel or de Tura or anything else. You know, like,
if people are you want to have a populace, it's
educated and provided for it. They're not trying to look
for some way to fuck themselves up. All right. The
drug war was one of the dumbest things America has
ever done, next to the Vietnam War. I mean, it
was also part of a culture war too. I think
that's what the drug war was ridly about. It was
a culture work. It was about protecting the public. It
was racism initially for things like we eat and peote,
and then it was culture war against the hippies. Nixon
had a heart on for the hippies. And so anyway,
after fifty years of giving the cops an impossible job
creating a black market for illegal businesses and you know,
and boldening cartels, et cetera. After fifty years of that,
suddenly the prescription pharmaceutical companies move in and start actually
getting in on the heroin market and make a complete
mockery of the whole drug war that so many people
died for. It have been imprisoned for over the previous
fifty years and then annihilated more people than drugs have
ever killed in the fifty years previous, which is and
it was all legal, and so it kind of made
a mockery of it. So I think, to like be
a de agent still you have to I mean you've
got to. I don't know how you could do your
job if you are sent out to like persecute someone
for Mountain Laurel or even pot or anything. Like the
cops here don't even care about pot anymore. I knew
someone who was a company. Yeah, they told us not
to even bother people for small amounts, as they should.
It's not a dangerous drug heroin Coco. This easy shit
meant stuff that like makes people behave like total assholes
and rob people. That should be something that that is
regulated and litigated. I don't, you know, I don't. I
don't have any problem with that, you know, and put
funds in that getting people clean. But this guy, I
don't know what this dude was thinking. I mean the
list of plants, I read through them and I was like,
half of these are native. You're trying to make these illegal?
You fucking kid just the money this is going to
cost the state is completely idiotic. You know, like there's
no income tax in texts. All the revenue comes from
property taxes, which are really high. Where the fuck are
you gonna get the money to enforce this? This is
completely idiotic, and you're a fucking idiot. Go back to
the you know, taking bribes from developers and you know,
doing people's taxes whatever. This guy does. No offense to
this guy forget his name, Perry, Charles Perry. I don't know,
but luckily someone talked. I don't know if someone talks
sensing to him or what, but I guess they downgraded
this bill. It was eight building was eighteen sixty eight,
SB eighteen sixty eight. So now it just regulates for
tom and like Delta nine, Delta eight whatever, what's the
illegal the legal one? You know? That feels terrible anyway
to do. Someone gave me Delta eight gummies four years ago.
It was just it was horrible. It felt it made
me nauseous and just made me feel out of it.
I mean, I don't even smoke we to begin with,
but once in a while we will be nice because
it will help you stretch or something. You can go
on a run, you get you go get a little tight.
You know, you'd smoke a joint late at night, do
some yoga on your floor, start talking to the dogs.
You know, it's great once in a while. This is
about how much I can tower it with pot yeah,
delta a right. Yeah. So they're trying think that they
were trying to make that illegal or whatever. But there's
there's a company that makes these THC like fizzy waters
that taste really good, taste like hops. Forget the name
of them, but it's it's like five milligrams THHC and
are able to do it because it's less than point
three percent by volume, and like five milligrams TC is
not going to send you to the moon. That's great,
that's fine. I think that I'd much rather see people
doing that than getting hammerd because Texas has a big
alcohol problem, a lot of alcoholics, you know, especially when
you're taught to numb your feelings and care so much
what other people thinking. You gotta you gotta drown it shit,
you know, so you know, tell you alcohol is very
important to the culture of Texas and enabling the repression
that the state is so well known for. No offense.
I love it. I'm just saying they really should legalize
just legalize weed here. Don't make it a political thing anyway. Man.
They could make so much revenue too. If you saw
all these like jacked up truck rednecks smoking blunts instead
of you know, drinking, uh fucking Keystone light, and you
see the bottles all over the place, all around the roads.
You know they're drinking and driving. We live in a
safer a safer state. People might wait at stop lights
longer than they other wise would, but they're not going
to be drunk driving. Got the du there's duy's man.
I see everybody here gets a duy because it's Texas
is unwalkable too, so you've got to drive everywhere, even
if it's to the store, it's like five blocks away,
and you know, so you're stuck driving, but you want
to drink. You want to drink it home. So everyone's
getting it's crazy, man, the fucking duys. But one of
what the du i rate is for Texas compared to
other states, you'll get it. You'll get hammered. Another state
that's got bike lanes, you can ride your bike to
the bar. You know, then you're just gonna fuck yourself
up if you crash into a light pole or something.
You're not gonna kill a family of four or something.
You know, take it from father santor got It's okay.
We're at an hour and a half. We got six
hundred and sixty six followers right now. I think that's good.
We'll go for another ten minutes. You've got someone they
want to talk about. Oh, he got T two Dewey's
twenty years ago, the uber back then? Did you quit
drinking or what? Did you read the writing on the
wall or you're still hitting it now? You know. Before
I got sober, I used to carry a h a
breathalyzer with me because if I had gotten a duy,
I didn't. I didn't want to fucking risk it because
if I got a DUY, I'd lose my locomotive license.
I was working for the railroad at this time. If
you get a duy, you're fucked. And you're working for
the railroad as an engineer, which I never should have
gotten the engineer license to shape. Should have stayed a
conductor and a braakman forever. Those were the days, my friend,
you could get out, you could walk, you weren't tied
to the engine, right, You're waiting at a red signal
for the dispatcher to let you out for an hour
and a half, losing your mind. If you're an engineer,
you're stuck in that seat. That's so bad metabolically for you.
But a conductor can go take a fucking walk or
you know, do whatever, go look at stuff on the side,
you can do. You can botanize at work. I used
to botanize at work when I was a conductor. Oh,
this guy's saying that fucking chiggers. Oh my god, I
forgot there's chiggers in the southeast. Holy shit. What do
you do for chiggers? I don't Oh god, damn it. There.
I would rather take ticks all over my nuts than
deal with chiggers. They're horrible. Spray permethron. Now, yeah, I'm
gonna have to treat my pants permethron. And then is
there like a sulfur spray you can put on your
ankles for siggers? Oh my god, this is why they
gotta burn. This is what fire suppression's done, right, Learn
your land. Did a video on that fire suppression was
man when all these tribes were burning in North America
five or six hundred years ago. I'm convinced the main
reason wasn't to improve hunting grounds. It was to kill
all the ticks and the chiggers. If you could talk
to some of them, go back in time, say what
do you guys do this stuff? Burn of force. It
makes it look nicer. It's the way to maintain the landscape.
And they did this in the southeast. They did in California.
They were these indigenous groups. They did burn the prairie.
But I bet if you could ask them, why do
you do this, they'd say, because these fucking tics are
out of control, because these parasites, these scum, these fucking
these chiggers are terrible. I got bites all up and
down my leg. I got a rash so bad in
my I got a rash so bad in my ears. No, seriously,
the worst I've ever had, the worst to kind of
ever had with with any parasitic insect, was in Florida
and the sand scrub, which is incredible habitat. So you know,
I was crouching down, enjoying myself looking at stuff, taking
macro shots. Gotta change the lens, take a habitat shot.
Taking my time filming stuff. And I just that night
in the motel, I was just destroyed. I had seventy
siggar bikees all up and down my ankles. Suppose you
get sulfur for them? What do you do you get sulfur?
What do you get for chiggers? This is way you
got to burn everything. I go to the Southeast. I
want to burn everything in the right season, right. I
want to do it in an educated fashion that way.
Oh maybe I'll see Kyle Eiberger. He's up there now.
I'd love to see him. He's a friend. How far
is Kyle Eiberger from Atlanta? I don't think it's too far.
Maytive had that project. What do you do you get sulfur? Oh, yes, sulfur.
Oh it's a plain funer said, fuck, oh no, no,
that's not what you want. I don't know what do
you do for chiggers? Although we SASA have my property
limit up and enjoy the smell, that's great. What do
you gotta get rid of all the usache limit up?
Make biochar out of the small lambs? Because when you're
making biochart, you only want stuff that's like that big,
that big at least I do you know, make biochar.
Just burn it, you know, let it burn for a while.
Once it turns into like the white like very thin
low density ash, that's when you dump water on it.
And no, how do you kill them? How do you
keep them off of you? How do you find pockets
and native plants and destroy agricultural healthscapes? Go to Google Maps,
look at green areas on Google Maps in the regular layer.
Go to satellite images. Look at pockets of of greenery
on the satellite images that don't seem in super developed areas. Uh,
and then drive around, go out there. That's how you
find little pockets of native plants and looks the destruction
of the anthropocy Yeah, for the for the wisace. Just man,
appreciate the ship out of it. You want to you
want to reduce it. While you want to reduce it,
I mean you can cut it down. I love that plant.
I got one. I got one at this public garden
we started. It's a great plant. Musace is a great
example of a pioneer species. If you do and kill
your lawn, if you're killing your law plant in the
plant garden, plant can take full sun nitrogen fixing bacteria
in the roots, grows fast as hell, smells fucking delightful
when it flowers. It's been it used to be used
in French perfume. That's scent. The fruits look like dog turts.
It's kind of weird, but you know, I could roll
with it. Not like, what's the the ebony species Epinopsis
from Baja that produces dog shit looking fruits. That's great.
I would appreciate that. So what is that Eponopsis confinance?
I think? Yeah? Yeah, wait, wait, wait, Jacob, wait, you
want to get rid of the wsace? Is it just
too much? Okay, it just got a pathway. It's just
cut it and take a paint brush with some round
up and after a fresh cut, paint the roundup on there. Right,
you're not broadcasting it over the whole landscape. You're just
using it on the stump. Is that what the issue is?
Is it re sprouting or what? Look at a paras,
the Paris of Texas. Where is it there? Yeah? The
Paris of Texas. Aaron Forceth, my friend Aaron Forceth from
the Zealand paint at that. She's the best botanical artist
I know. Anyway. Campophinique liquid works Oh yeah, Melo Luca oil. Yeah,
tea tree oil would work for chiggers. Maybe. I don't
know though, man native Chicago groundcover. Oh, that's out of
my lead. I don't think frogford would survive up there.
Let's see. Okay, we're gonna end this soon, all right.
You're making the dog's nervous when you throw these tantrums.
You're making the dog's nervous. You're flipping on. Uh. How
do you recommend starting to learn taxonomy? Biplant Systematics by
Michael Simpson. It's a fucking it support. It's like eighty bucks.
Get it. You'll use it for the next ten years
of your life. And then just start reading it and
don't read it front to back because that sucks. It's
not a fun way to read. Just crack it up
in the middle of nowhere and look at the pictures
you like and start reading the captions for those and
they'll start catching on. Right. Well, I'll do a reading
of an audio book reading of Plant Systematics. It's the
best fucking book. It was a real life changer for me.
It's not even here. Where the fuck did I put
it in? No worry, I think it's in the other room.
I got like three bookshelves, right, that's the best way
starting to learn taxonomy. If that's too much for you,
have Plant Systematics by Michael Simpson, who's a friend of mine.
Is too much for you, and it is. It's you're
going to have to be using the vocabulary in the
back of the book when you're reading that. But that's
how you learn. That's how you teach yourself. If that's
too much for you. A simpler the children's book version
of that, it's not really a children's book, but it's
like hits the concept homeharder is Bony in the Day
by h. Thomas Elpel Bonnie in the Day, and it's
just it just rams home the idea that the key
traits that you're looking for, the synapomorphies you're looking for
when you're trying to figure out what family something's in,
And you should always be asking what family it's in
when you're looking at a plant, because that will tell
you so much, what chemicals it might have, whether it's
poisonous or not, what pollinates it, because these are all
shared traits that plants share as a result of shared ancestry,
of it, of fucking inheritance, right, that's why we ask
what family something's and that's why we study taxonomy. That's
why genus and species names are important because they will
tell you that which is something. I remember when these
fucking idiots were attacking taxonomy. H five years ago, I
got into a Twitter fight with some white lady. No
fence to her. I'm not gonna bring it up. I'm
not gonna bring it up. So she looked that she
had a pouty fish. She looked very unhappy. She was mean,
she really mean, no fense to her. Blessed making cakes
for a fish anyway. And she was saying, all taxonomy,
it's colonial, you know, one of these like moralizing it.
I said it, shut up, shut up, No, it's not,
it's not. Did you know that If you go to Iran,
it's like an Ian botanists doing botany there. If you
go to China, it's Chinese bonuses or not. All because
the system was invented by European white guys doesn't mean
it's a bad system. You don't have to You're not
like signing off on everything that these fucking you know,
hooligans believed in. You're not signing off on like Linnaeus's
eugenics quasi eugenics theories by embracing taxonomic nomenclature. That's the
most fucking idiotic take, right if like if a if someone,
if someone you didn't like invented the wheel, would you
not use wheels? Like? What the fuck? It's a great
system genus and species. You learn the genus name. You
don't have to know the whole species, and just just
learn the genus, right. If Homo sapiens is too much
for you, just learn the word homo. You know, well
you know what I mean. But uh but you know,
that's why it's like some of these worried. What I
got into was some guy down here, he's a friend,
but he was calling there's a plant called ameless bush sunflower.
That's the common name, completely ridiculous. It's not a sunflower
and uh oh god, what was that? What is on?
Is it simsia or is it? And I think it's simsia,
And so, you know, I was like, well, don you
just call it simsa Colvo like why are you using
common names? Like well, because the Latin names are gatekeeping.
I'm like, no, they're not gatekeeping anything. Give people a
benefit of the doubt teach them the fucking genus name.
You normalize using the genus name, people will pick up
on it. On this bush sunflower, it's not even a
sunflower that that's got five times as many letters in
it as the word simsa does. Just you simsia, And
then you know what, if you know that's a simsia,
you'll see other species of Simsia and you'll know they're
simsias too. If you know the traits that put something
in the genus simsia, you know the filery orientation, the
fucking way the seeds look, whatever. So God, it just
drives me nuts. The insistence on using common names, and
that is some shit I was not prepared for when
I moved to Texas. So many people in Texas native
plants and no beef with any of them. I just
think this is stupid, and I wish they would start
embracing taxonomic nomenclature like professionals or people that respect the science.
So many people here just use common names, and so
many of the common names are completely ridiculous, like they
just know they bear no resemblance to the plants they're
talking about. There's other plants that have the same common name.
Do we really want to go this? I've ranted about
there's so many fucking times, right, and then when you
try to be like, let's use the genus name, they
get defensive and they start fighting with you on it.
I'm just trying to help you learn this is there's
a method to the magnus. Don't you want to do that?
Why are you gonna Why are you gonna fucking fight me?
It's like you're driving a car with square wheels and
I'm trying to give you a round one. Why would
you insist on driving a car with square wheels. It's
fucking idiotic. You know. This is not like about superiority,
It's just this thing works. So anyway, learn the genius
and the species names. Learn the genus name. You don't
want to learn the species name. You don't know how
to pronounce it a genus name. You're worried it sounds stupid.
You're not gonna pronounce it right. Who gives a shit?
Anyone who's gonna correct the way you pronounced Latin deserves
a kick in the balls, and they probably will have balls.
It will probably be a fucking man because anyone who's
ever done it to me has been a man. It's
you know, it's you go to Mexico. My friends that
speak Spanish, they don't pronounce it the same way. I
don't what am I gonna do it? It's not how
you pronounce it. Actually, it's not oster acey, it's astor
acy ostacia. I know what the fucking means. Huh pronounced Latin.
It said that, like, get the fuck out of here.
Where do you find something to get a hobby? Take
your medge stuck to your fucking shrink? And they said,
now you're getting me mad. Now I'm getting mad. Common
names come. I see. If you know, every plant that's
called cedar in North America isn't a cedar. There's no
true cedars native to North America. Whether it's Thuia, whether
it's camisit ris dioides, whether it's Juniperus, which is always
called cedar, none of none, None of them are true seders.
Seed dress only exists in northern Africa. You're up in
the Middle East, and I think, as maybe don't. Okay,
I'm gonna come down a little bit. Mhm Okay. He's
raised up on an easter sun and that's right, he
got he's you got him hated. See, you triggered his neuroses.
I gotta get I gotta fucking I gotta go plant
a bunch of cat guy that were dug up by
feral pigs. We got a bunch of ancestral cactus. We're
planning to get this public garden. God, the fucking hate
I feel for an animal, it's crazy. It's personal hate.
It's hate. It's butter fight hate. It's not just like well,
I don't hate him, I just gotta know, I fucking
hate him. I got a purple Air fifteen and anadized
paint that's got there. He's got bullets with the fucking
names of the pigs on them. We've named them. I
have not heavy here because he's not fucking the head
like me. I've named these fucking pigs and to kill him.
They've just destroyed ninety percent of the populations of Mammalaria sphirica.
I understand why he's rednecks shoot him from helicopters. I
would if I had that kind, if I had money,
I would put it into fueling a helicopter to go
shoot pigs. As much as it's how much I hate him. Yeah,
I did know there's an Oklahoma population of mammalaria. That's crazy, man,
that's definitely got to be a different ecotype. But it
is a bird dispersed cactus. The seeds are at least
you know you see the red fruits. O what a
what am I? You know we're going too long? We
could we could shoot the ship all day here. You know,
I enjoyed talking to you guys at seven hundred and
fifteen people watching this, So we'll keep going. Chill out,
Fire and you chill out, Marty. I want you go
take a fucking chill. He'll go s freaking at a
have a chocolate bunny. That'd be nice. I would like
a chocolate bunny. No, I'm not ordained. Yeah, I know.
I right next shoot the coyotes too. I love the
I love the coyotes. You know we'll go feed them
feral cats, you know? Oh god? Uh? Plant breeding, No,
don't have time for it. Through us on caribrey cream eggs, diabetes,
stay away, trye and green tea. Would you be interested
in anyone volunteering with you at Thorn Scrub. No. Some
ladies said she was going to get us a grant,
but then I never heard of her again. So I
don't know. You know, we've got to apply for some grants.
We've just everything on Thorn Scrub has been individual donations.
Oh yeah, why sure, hold on, let me go get
them mhm. And now we're really gonna wrap it up.
Buy a shirt, okay. See drawing by me of one
of the old growth payotes. That's all one plant, based
on a real life specimen at Thorn Scrub. It's like
seeing coast redwoods that are two hundred years old. Things
got to be two hundred years old. Easy, buy a shirt.
They're forty two bucks. I don't sell my own shirts
for forty two bucks. I sell them for like thirty two,
thirty five whatever. Okay, but this dead money just goes
to me. All the money from these goes to Thorn
Scrub Sanctuary. We need to get pig fencing. We're fencing
off another little portion of the land because we can't
fence the whole thing. That will cost proably twenty five grand.
We got one hundred and fifty acres. We're gonna need
to drill. We're gonna need to drill. Well, we're gonna
need another shade structure. We have one, but it's not enough,
and it's kind of high, and it's one hundred and
five degrees out there for six months out of the year.
So but the fencing, if you buy a shirt, the
money will go directly towards building fencing for some of
these old growth payotes. And there's there's and why be
fencing because of the pigs, right, Like we've already found
clusters of these Grandpa's knocked over. The pigs mostly go
for Mammalaria spherica because it doesn't have alkaloids in those
big juicy tap roots. They'll go for peyote when there's
nothing else to eat and they're curious and they'll like
bite into it, but then they'll just leave it. They've
caused massive amounts of damage, all right, And there's other
properties of budding ours that they're probably just eradicating, you
know where like the guys will shoot them, but uh,
you know, but there's there's I'm sure there's payota on
their land too, and Mammalaria spherica on their land too,
And all these cactus populations have experienced drastic reductions, ninety
percent reductions due to these feral pigs. And you see
the evidence all the time like we're you know, Mammalarias spherica.
You find all the time uprooted. They eat the root,
they can't eat the top because it's spiny, and then
they leave it. And then you can reroot the mammillary
sphere if you put it in the ground. I put
it in like a fine grained soil mix. So any
any money we make from that, I'm not taking any
money from this. Any money you make forty two bucks.
It's a five colored shirt printed by a company in Austin,
free shipping. If you want for the two we self,
for the fatties, you gotta pay an extra two bucks
because that's what the shirts cost. Two XL is an
extra two bucks. I'm sorry, but then I'll throw a
sticker too, And I got thorn scrub stickers, thorn scrub
Sanctuary stickers, nice vinyl stickers. They'll come with it too.
So the venmo is thorn Scrubs Sanctuary all one word.
It'll say hobvier when you donate, and then just leave
your full name and your address and your size, full name.
Don't forget that, don't forget your name. Don't forget the
zip codes. People forget the zip code that's a pain
in the ass and I have to look it up
and uh yeah, we'll mail them, know. So yeah, but
that's what we're doing to raise money right now, and
then that and just relying on individual donations. I guess
there's grants too, but I don't, man, I don't have time.
I'm like writing two books I've got I've got so
much time to learn how to write grants. If you
want a description of what Thorn Script Sanctuary is doing,
I think I put one on the website and the
Crime Pays website. But yeah, I mean, what we want
to do eventually is have a full fledged research station
bunk house, little, you know, mini lab, nothing big, but
something where people can do microscopy and DNA sequencing. The
soil communities that I'm especially interested in because they're probably
rich with unidentified species of fungi and bacteria. I mean
a lot of these plants they're growing and such. There's
such a it's such an extreme climate, especially like we've
got a section of the land that sell colleche a
barns so well collechi and volcanic ash, and that is
very thin, so wiled hard, it's got the conglomerate rock
the pebbles that have been cemented together with calich that
are so characteristic of the Goliad formation, and that's got
some really interesting plant diversity on it. No Moretonia gregy I,
but which is surprising because Mortonia gregy is a cool
member of cellustration, much more common in Wuevo Lanone area
in Monterey, like you know, the mountains outside of Monterrey.
But it only grows in a few places, always on
top of these rocky, thin soiled areas in Starr County.
But there's none on our land. But I'm sure we
could just throw seeds and see a few a couple
of years. But but yeah, but we got to raise money.
So you know, if you want to buy a shirt
through it once again, the venmo is Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary.
If you want to donate, it's Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary at gmail.
Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary at gmail, and you can email. You
can write us a emailing that too if you are
international and want to order a shirt. But if your
international is gonna cost another ten bucks for shipping, I
don't write them. I don't do don't get mad at
me and I don't set the postal rates. Okay, all right,
I think we'll end it. M Oh, your mother in
law is possessed. Oh yeah, you gotta do something about that. Uh.
No bunk house, bunk No bunk house like a spot
like if researchers come to visit us, they will have
a place to sleep inside, preferably in an air conditioned
research station because it's so brutal and hot. Oh oh,
you just saw a handling you give a presentation on
u V fluoresce and funkie. Oh that was nice. That's nice.
He gives really good presentations. Yeah. We don't need to
agree on everything. That's okay. See that's what a lot
of people forgot to do us. I just agree to disagree.
I don't care. You know, I won't talk to you
about the stuff you don't want to hear me. Don't
talk about the same you know you do the same
for me anyway. What parts of the water hemlock is
poisons the whole thing? All right? Quite a few members
of the Carrat family APAC are very poisonous, but obviously
some are edible too. Pictures of thorn scrubs sanction wary. Yeah,
I go to the Instagram. Uh what else misclosed with
vinegar for chiggers. I don't know, man, that sounds like
it doesn't sound like that's gonna work. Going to Europe
if someone sends me there, yeah, not for the time being.
I'd love to go to Q I'd love to go
to the Jurassic Coast and the UK. I'd love to
go to Italy to see if my ancestors are as
fucking nuts as I am. This is genetic. The shirts
are forty two dollars shipping included, all right, free shipping.
You know, this is just I'm not really a Catholic priest.
It's just something festive for Easter, you know, I just
read the writing on a wall. That's all, you know,
in a whole the whole Italian thing and being a Catholic,
you know, they go together. They go together like honey
and peanut butter. Right, Yeah, So anyway, forty two books
support us Thornscript Sanctuary Venmo. We don't have a PayPal
yet and the zealous Thorn Scrub Sanctuary at Gmail, but
every every bit of revenue we make from that goes
towards defencing right now and then after that, I think
we're gonna have to probably try to get a well
for the critters. We need to. There's no water out
there now. But we did get we did. Oh yeah,
we did get our five oh one C three nonprofit status,
which is great too. So we're official, it's recognized, the
tax deductible if you want to donate. I forgot to
say that too. I'm bad at I'm bad at it's
self promotion. But we are tax deductible, so we're recognized
by the I R S is a five out one
C three nonprofit. We don't pay ourselves. We just do
it for the love and because being out there is incredible.
And we had the comanches come down, was it three
weeks ago? That was cool. Quanta Parker's grandson came down
because they wanted to look at they wanted to prey
at the gardens. There's a lot of peyote parts of
the land, so that was great to have them. Really
cool guys. They gave us a blanket like a Filson's
blanket with the Comanche emblem on them. Sanctuary, It's our
The Thorn Scrub Sanctuary is O one hundred and fifty
eight or nonprofit conservation Property and Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary is
a is a nonprofit that we started, So what is
this guy? Random? But they destroyed the pre Columbian Americas.
I thought you support a pre What are you talking about?
Who destroyed them? Mister Rogers the irs? What are you
talking about? I don't know a website for the sanctuary yet. No,
we don't, and I we We're not probably gonna put
money into that unless if someone wants to help us
out and knows a way to set up a cheap website,
that would be great. But I'm already the square space
site that I have to work with with crime pays.
I get mad every time I see the name squares Space.
They rob me. It's a scam and I hate them,
so I don't want to have to deal with I
don't know, I know the thought of how do you
do you do a cheap website? You know? How do
you do that? I don't know because any who knows
about that. That's what I rely on you guys for.
If someone wants to set up a simple website for
Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary that gives about us, description and gives
a place to donate and photos of the land, that
would be amazing, but I don't want to. I fucking
hate squares space with a passion. I want to get
away from them so bad. I'm feeling my blood pressure
race now that I'm even thinking about them. I fucking
hate sports space. I hate squares space so much, you
know that. God that terrible. Ah. There're all about selling
shit too. I go to like it's just there. Everything
about using the app as a headache, everything is a
nightmare having to interact with them. You can get away
from squarespace to do it if you If you know
how to help us with a website for Thorn Scrub,
send us an email at Thorn Scrubs Sanctuary at gmail. Okay,
I really got to go, I should do. This's been
two hours. Thanks a lot for watching us. I really
appre you all are so nice, even as ship posters.
You guys are so sweet, the ship posters that take
the time every once in a while to tell me
go fuck myself, or says you know, thank you. I
appreciate that. I'm not I'm not ignoring the time you
put into thinking about me. It's spending on me. I'm flattered.
Gives me a little stiffy. Quite about that. Okay, thank
you everybody, and uh yeah, look for the book Concrete Botany.
In a year, I'll probably be talking about it a
bunch or some guy was asking about, uh, shade or
Midwest groundcovers, carre ex Pennsylvanica. If you're into the whole
wind pollination thing, Pennsylvania said wild strawberry Fregaria Virginiana. That's
probably good and it'll actually produce some food for pollinators.
Wild ginger Asterom canadense. But that is gonna like shade
that's in the aristolochiac that's in the pipeline. Really cool.
You know, look at two or three videos back. It's
in the pipeline family. Wild Ginger asarum again common names. Shit,
it's not a ginger at all, no relation to ginger.
It's got a funky smell of the leaves. That's why
they That's why they called it wild ginger. You know what,
The dog freaked me out last night because he was
in the middle of the night and I heard that,
and I just you jump out of bed. Oh shit,
get him outside before he pukes all over the floor
and I have to clean it up so much. Would
make an alarm clock with that, that noise with the
dog pew, the dog heating like pre vomit sound. Because
nothing will get your ass out of bed faster moss flocks,
flocks subulata juniperus horizontalis. These are all kind of shit,
I mean, not shit, but they're not gonna Nothing grows
as aggressively as frog fruit. If you could grow frog
fruit filing out of flora in Chicago, that's what someone
should do. Breed a cold tolerant filing out of flora.
That thing is fucking indestructible. God, that's one of the
best things about Texas, seriously, is filing out of flora.
And did you know there's a variety in the Auta
coamma desert. Probably a result of a bird dispersal, because
those are migration patterns from north to south. Probably a
result of a bird dispersal. That's way more hairer than
the uh than the Texas won and the Texas, you know,
because the hair is protected against strout moisture lost in
the leaves, and the Auta comma since it's so much drier,
not quite as hot as Texas, but because it's so
much drier. You look at this, it's like chalky mint
green leaves. That's that's the Chilean ecotype of filing out
of flora. It's called filing out of flora reptanes. That's
in northern Chile. Crazy, so cool. Well, you could see
how the environment is selected for a hair plant because
it's so much drier, it's so much more intense, and
there was the habitat that it was growing on. Look,
get that cracked mud and that things happy as a
pig and shit and no die back. The filing out
of flora ecotype, the ecotype in Chile, the Audacama desert
ecotype of frog fruit. Crazy. I still got some from Brazil.
We me and Dylan treated ourselves with ivermectin when we got, yeah,
the chiggers in Brazil. I should bring some for when
I get schiggers in Georgia now, because that's gonna suck horrible. Okay,
I gotta go. Everybody have aggression. Digo picks it back