Speaker 1: And Carlos says, salads are fucking appetizers, okay, and I'm
not going to be served a salad for my name.
And listen, it's his vacation. That's right, it's his vacation.
Speaker 2: He catered to this.
Speaker 3: He can be a bitch if he wants to.
Speaker 2: Now he does something interesting, which he is. This at
the point where he walks down into the gally.
Speaker 3: He needs to uh.
Speaker 1: He demands time with the chef and he tells him
to put onions and tomatoes and things. He goes, listen,
I'm gonna need to talk to you because that was
not okay that wrap?
Speaker 3: Are you put onions and tomatoes in that?
Speaker 1: Welcome aboard another brands banking new episode of another Blowdeck podcast.
That's not what this show is called. It's muscle memory.
It's called bad TVM Dylan, that's pat great to be here,
permission to producer. Kailin is here joining us on the
on the mast. It was a boat thing I did there.
How are you doing great?
Speaker 2: It's Buzzball Friday?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 1: Can it be Buzzball Friday every Friday? Or do we
have to retire this soon?
Speaker 3: What I know?
Speaker 1: Ridiculous question you have a parent teacher conference.
Speaker 2: To get to now it's uh, it's a trunk or
treat party.
Speaker 3: Trunk or treat? What is that?
Speaker 2: It's where a bunch of parents that volunteered from Elliott's
school show up and uh form their cars in a circle,
open their trunks and give out candy.
Speaker 1: Oh, it have to be in the trunk. It's a
little spooky when it's in the trunk.
Speaker 2: They decorate the trunks. Everyone has a theme.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure everybody's got Volvos and stuff, but there's
probably that one parent that's got a two thousand and
two Odyssey and it's just a little creepy that trunk.
Speaker 2: You wouldn't volunteer if you had that car, Okay, So listen,
and there's nothing wrong with driving that car on that
car is a dependable car, but the trunk is a
little creepy. I drove a nineteen eighty four Plymouth for
Alliant with the fabric from the top of the car
falling down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was falling down. Yeah, and I had a passat.
It was a beautiful, beautiful it was a great car.
Loved the pasade. Anyways, we're here to talk about below deck, Okay,
do you.
Speaker 3: Know what paisad? No, a Volkswagen Passad.
Speaker 2: What's it look like?
Speaker 3: That's a sedan?
Speaker 2: I owned a Volkswagon too. My second car was a golf.
Speaker 3: Okay, we gotta, we gotta get into the show. Guys.
Speaker 1: At patreon dot com slash another podcast network, we are
covering Real Housewives of Salt Lake.
Speaker 3: Dylan.
Speaker 2: I'm glad you brought a Patreon because that's going to
factor on what I'm about to announce here. If you
don't mine, can I take.
Speaker 3: Caitlin?
Speaker 2: Is this okay?
Speaker 3: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Okay. I'd like to begin the podcast with some sad
news or bad news, however you want to take it.
As the audience knows, I've been in development trying to
bring to life the Whacker.
Speaker 1: This this was a brutal blow to your entrepreneurials.
Speaker 2: You're familiar with what what what transpired over the of
course last week. Okay, to mind the audience, The Whacker
is my invention. It's my vision. It's a robotic hand
that can be controlled by a loved one as far
as a different country to solve.
Speaker 3: And Tommy's problems, well.
Speaker 2: To remotely jerk you off or or finger bang you
or finger bang you. Sadly, a little battie reached out
this week and delivered Patty some sad news. I was
notified that a device currently exists in the marketplace.
Speaker 3: Right and and and and.
Speaker 1: Upon hearing that news, did you think, well, how could
this not have existed?
Speaker 2: Are you kidding me? The idea of some device that
can satisfy.
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 2: So despite my product being in proto, it was a
prototype in development, and it was a superior product.
Speaker 3: I've looked much money did you spend on it?
Speaker 2: Ten thousand dollars? Okay, well, mostly in you know, laffees
and whatever.
Speaker 3: Loafees.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta pay lawyers, patent lawyers and whatnot. Oka Yeah, yeah,
the raw materials. Though I was developing it in the Philippines,
you know I have a team over there. Uh huh.
But I believe this product can no longer be a
priority for me. I need to focus on the podcast.
But even though my product I thought had a different
angle on it because it had an attachment that would
also plunge your keyster.
Speaker 3: Right gap in the market, you thought.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I still need to let this dream go by.
So if you would like to recompensate me.
Speaker 1: Well, well, We'll hang on a second, because again, he
does need to be recompensated. Patrick needs reparations for the
endeavor that he's ten grand, nine thousand dollars of which
were spent on legal fees, nine in nine hundred and
fifty dollars spent on just the labor, and then the
product itself is probably about.
Speaker 3: Fifty bucks worth of materials.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's right, that's how it breaks down.
Speaker 3: But why did the dream die?
Speaker 2: The dream died because you the headwinds were too strong, Dylan, Well,
I am an entrepreneur, and I did believe in this product.
The fact that there's a product on the shelves already.
Speaker 3: What's it called?
Speaker 2: All right, So the product is called Lovens, it's l
O V E n S and they have uns.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it sounds like a Burger joint.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but they sell devices to help people whack each
other off, like when you live, you know, like doing
business in our you know.
Speaker 3: Listen.
Speaker 1: So I I was concerned about your commitment to the
idea because I didn't want you to get distracted.
Speaker 2: Well, I had a great tagline, if your sex life
is a slacken a get a whacken a whacker right.
Speaker 1: But I was concerned that you were going to dedicate
too much time to it, because you know, entrepreneurship is
full time job. And maybe that's why I said that
it was a terrible idea that only served the sexual desires, wants,
and needs.
Speaker 3: Of Sea rats.
Speaker 1: But it turns out that I was wrong and that
there are businesses that are trying to take over this space.
Speaker 4: And so I'm looking at the sex toys on Amazon
right now. Yeah, and the tagline is like long distance relationships, right,
they have that whole play on that closing the distance.
It's not bad, but it's definitely not if your love
life is a slack and you need to.
Speaker 1: Get whack and the whacker the whacker. So let's get
into the episode. Thought it was a very very fun one.
We finally had some No Jack was a bad guess.
But this is like, and we've been talking about this,
the below Deck really needs to lean on awful people
vacation are It's wonderful. It's so fun when awful people vacation.
Speaker 2: And to be fair, in this episode, there's only one
awful person. That's Carlos. It's not because he's awful, because
you should get what you paid for.
Speaker 1: But when you're rude, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I
do think that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, awful is a big word.
Speaker 1: But rude people and considerate people, lunatics who want greens
but don't want salads. We need more of those people
on this show.
Speaker 3: Okay, I thought it.
Speaker 1: Was a great episode. I'm gonna give it seventy seven pots.
Speaker 2: Wow. I can't wait to hear your thoughts on Josh
Josh's lunch yeh universally detested. Yes, yeah, okay, I liked
the episode. I thought it was the first time that
we had a double firing, but it's not. Oh really, yeah,
I went back to our archivist Sandra. Yeah, they've two
seasons ago. We actually had two people fired. It was
the Greek guy who punched a wall and then vhn
oh that's right, yeah, we hand the weasel that was
big invited the girl to join him in the bed
when she thought it was her boyfriend.
Speaker 3: In the bed, right right.
Speaker 1: It was a double firing, and he was like, I
was just trying to talk to her. That's why I
wrapped my arm around to her teeth center and pushed
her into me. I was just using my shoulder for
lean on. Wow, you're a scumbag.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 1: All right, but yeah, this is the first time we've
ever heard somebody say the food is good, but it's
not giving me what my body needs.
Speaker 5: That's right.
Speaker 3: Really, that's quite special.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a dick. Okay, Yeah, I hated him.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Uh Kerman, I'm coming around to like her. Maturity level
of how she's dealing with things is.
Speaker 3: She's really fun.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna give it to forty knuts.
Speaker 1: Forty nuts and Calyn would you get given ninety knots?
Speaker 3: Too high? All right, let's get into it.
Speaker 1: Last week left off, Christian had let a drunk almost
dye in the water, and Sandy had asked Nathan for
the million dollars or no, no, no, it was uh.
Speaker 2: Are you sure?
Speaker 3: You're sure? All right?
Speaker 2: So, so Sandy gives Nathan a choice and he doesn't
take either.
Speaker 3: No, he says, let's kill them both.
Speaker 2: He takes an option that was not given to him.
Speaker 3: He goes, uh, well, rageus. I think it's A but
it could be B two, so I'm gonna guess both. Well, buddy,
you can't do that. Katie Kirk just.
Speaker 1: Really didn't have it on that show. The same way
Katie Couric.
Speaker 2: I don't think she hosted really, I think it was
Meredith something Vera.
Speaker 3: Oh was it Meredith Via?
Speaker 2: They were both from The Today Show.
Speaker 1: Do you think that millionaire is beneath Katie Kirk?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 2: I grew up with her and Brian Gumble and who's
at a fat weatherman that they used to make fun
of Al Roker? No, the other guy?
Speaker 1: What there's another fat weatherman?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And Brian Gumble famously wrote a memo about how he
was useless on the show. It was this old, white,
balding guy and he said he's a joke. He used
to do happy birthdays for people over ninety and it
would be on the side of a jelly jar. It'd
be like Martha's ninety nine years old. And then he'd
say what her hobbies were?
Speaker 3: Was Al Roker a weatherman?
Speaker 2: I think he was a weatherman?
Speaker 3: He started out as a weatherman, right.
Speaker 2: Caylyn, do you mind? Sorry? I mean to know this
guy was so nice and to be amazing for you
still alive?
Speaker 3: All right?
Speaker 2: So weatherman the Today Show, that's.
Speaker 1: Very good at this telling you what you should search
to Google search.
Speaker 2: Give me his name, tell me the rest.
Speaker 4: Of the Google search al.
Speaker 1: No, not alt know my favorite Today's show, Mom and Ever.
And I don't know if it's from the American version
of it.
Speaker 3: I think it is.
Speaker 1: But they're in Times Square and they roll out these
ewoks because there's like a big Star Wars fucking something
going on, and the Ewoks they're like crazy little guys.
They're probably drunk, right, and they just start like humping
people and they're all just like, oh what what what?
Speaker 3: They're losy, they're humping us. It was so funny. They're
doing the worm on the ground.
Speaker 1: I'm try Scott, Willard Scott.
Speaker 3: If he's alive?
Speaker 2: What do you think? Do you think he's alive?
Speaker 3: No? Fat weather Man? Probably not.
Speaker 2: God, he's such a nice guy, you know. He made
it to twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3: He made it to twenty twenty one. But he's dead.
Speaker 1: He's dead now, all right, let's get into it. So
they choose to fire both Christian and Test. But we
don't think that Test is gonna be the one.
Speaker 3: First we just call Tattoo up to the bridge and.
Speaker 1: They're they go, you almost killed that drunk guy, so
we gotta let you go. Now, this is the problem
with this is the problem with wealth, right, rich pieces
as shit they treat the rest of the world. I
you know, I kind of equate Jack to somebody cuts
you off on the one on one and we've talked
about this before. But they drive forward not a care
in the world, and behind them ruin his cause brake
lights have slammed all the way Domino effect back to Calabasas.
Speaker 2: Do you think rich people have the monopoly on that?
Speaker 1: Not on I'm using cutting people off as a metaphor.
But know what what Jack, Jack's behavior is like that
he walks around the world, he complains, he gets what
he wants.
Speaker 3: At the best of ours, at the downfall of others
all the time. You know, it's really disgusting behavior.
Speaker 1: But to Jack's credit, Christian needed to get off this
boat because people were gonna die.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean they it's it's the when I'm glad
I got to re see that foot of Jack not
only hit his bum on the but then his head. Yeah,
and then go down in the water but like four
feet Yeah, I don't think the world would miss him.
Speaker 1: But that's no, no, no, no, Heaven's now Christian. At some
point I didn't write this down, but he talks about
how his father was presided over multiple airplane crashes with
blood and bone and and and glass, and that this
feels like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, his dad had crashed a bunch of planes. I
guess he said being fired felt worse than burning into
a mountain?
Speaker 3: Did he say that?
Speaker 2: He did say that?
Speaker 1: Okay, because there's something you mentioned it and I can't
believe it didn't ring any alarm bells.
Speaker 3: But the guy is a pilot who's now a sea.
Speaker 1: Rat, whose father is like a cartoon character pilot Mike.
He's a Looney Tunes pilot who has crashed multiple planes
and survived each of the crashes. Something does not adding up.
Speaker 2: It's adding up that plane, that plane. I was also
going to add to that. What a stupid thing to say.
And also is being eaten by a mountain lion while
you're scuba diving worse?
Speaker 3: You know, I.
Speaker 1: Really feel very, very foolish because I got duped. I
saw this AI video, but I taking a shit. Right,
He's taking a shit, and all of a sudden there's
window above him, right, like a nice bathroom, a nice
woody bathroom, And then a deer explodes through the glass,
and then a bear comes in through the glass and
it's very realistic, and it's all capturing him and he's
getting trampled by this bear just while he's trying to
take a shit. And I looked at the comments and
it was like, oh yeah, because everyone has a fucking
camera pointed down at them shitting while they in there,
right in their house.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh man, yeah, that didn't make any sense.
I'm not street smarts. I could.
Speaker 1: I could be lulled or duped into anything.
Speaker 2: Me too, and I do have street smarts.
Speaker 3: Still.
Speaker 2: I can't tell you how many things I click on
where I see like, uh, just a are we talking about.
Speaker 3: Like row reels?
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I have to click on it to see
how it ends.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, No, it's dangerous the world we're living in.
And I'm sorry for taking us on that, tam.
Speaker 2: All right. So I have a theory about this, all right.
So two people are going to be fired here, first Christian,
then Tests. I feel that if one of them was decent,
the other one wouldn't have gotten fired. It's the fact
that you can't have two incompetent assholes on a boat.
Speaker 1: Nope, they're both anchors for one another. Now, Tests also
gets brought up and decapitated, and Tests, as expected, is
pretty pissed. She doesn't know where this is coming.
Speaker 2: I love how Sandy offers advice because that's the exact
time that someone wants to hear. Yeah, what they can
do better in the future, right, maybe help them out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like in hard knocks when they're like, listen, buddy, you're.
Speaker 2: Just you're not cutting it.
Speaker 3: But it's not for you.
Speaker 1: It's not over for you. We're gonna put you on
the practice squad. We're gonna pay seventeen grand a here,
it'll be great.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 1: Test though, and we'll get to this in a second.
Is just the most perplexing young woman. She is a
danger to each and every person around her. Yet she
is like, I cannot believe these losers just fired me.
They have no fucking idea what they're doing.
Speaker 2: She said it with such authority that I actually she
had me start thinking, like, could she have a bit
of a point here?
Speaker 3: No, she's just a crazy person.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, so Sandy Tech's Norma after they fire the
two Sea rats.
Speaker 2: I love Norma.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah, And we start to talk about how
they're gonna pull this off with two deckhands and this
whole time blow deck is very the strings are very
thick when they're trying to pull these things off. Well,
ultimately it's gonna be the right and we're gonna have
multiple attempted road blocks or diversions away from this. It's
just like I get it's cool, but like we can
just ask V right, well.
Speaker 2: What's going to happen here? Because V clearly is going
to be elevated to the decie position. Yes, how do we?
How do we?
Speaker 3: What are you doing on your phone right now?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: I was going to.
Speaker 2: Reenact the phone call to Norma.
Speaker 3: Okay, please do so.
Speaker 2: Okay, hold on, let me skip over this before.
Speaker 1: You do, let's take a quick break to hear a
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Speaker 3: All right, let's do the let's do the call from Norma.
Speaker 2: Hello, Hi, it's Sandy. I was I know I've called
you eighteen times this episode and text you if you
have any sea rats available this episode?
Speaker 1: What are you talking about this episode?
Speaker 3: Sorry?
Speaker 2: Do you have any sea rats that won't kill anyone?
Speaker 3: No? I don't.
Speaker 1: That's right, Yeah, sorry, I kind of took over the
Norma role. That's okay, that's my bad. That is completely
my fucking bad, actually pitiful, actually disgusting for me. Now,
Maximilian tells Jizzy. Jizzy flips out, and then he goes
to say goodbye to Tattoo with a smile as tall.
Speaker 3: As the peaks of Sagratto. So happy. I told you
fifty million times this was going to happen.
Speaker 1: To you, and Christian's like, this is a very confusing
interaction right now, I'm actually just gonna walk away and
says that he's bunn that he got fired, but if
he would have stayed on the buddy would have punched Max.
Speaker 3: In the face.
Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, that's probably a good time.
Speaker 1: Tess says that she wishes Nathan all the best and
then starts laughing like Harley Quinn.
Speaker 3: I think I hate her. She is a bonafide lunatic.
Speaker 2: Well, hopefully we get to hear from her again on
watch what Happens on Monday.
Speaker 1: Maybe so we send out the deckhand flares and ask
or an Asia feels horrible for Nathan because his best
deckhand stabbed him in the himself in the face with jellyfish.
Gu it's started to spiking me in the face.
Speaker 2: That's his best Yes, his the person he can lie on.
Hours earlier rubbed a jellyfishes poison into his eyes. You know,
I bet that jellyfish felt like that stingray that took
out the crocodile hunter. You know, if this asshole grabs
onto my tail one more fucking time, I'm gonna kill him,
because that's what that stingray really said. Don't do it, dude,
don't do it. He did it. Well, see if Steve
took the bastard out.
Speaker 3: See if Steve he did I'm so sorry. I just
put a piece of ice in my mouth. It's not okay.
I can't believe I did that well, that poor sting right.
Speaker 1: You know, Steve did a lot of really good work
with conservation and stuff. But one day he's just going around.
He's messing with this sting Ray and this is like.
Speaker 2: Wow, look at the tail on this. I'm gonna grab it. Meanwhile,
the Stingrays saying to himself, don't fucking do it, dude,
because I'm swimming here.
Speaker 1: That sting Ray had been there many times before, and
he had tested the limits of his patients and his anger,
and it managed it pretty well up until this point.
Speaker 3: But you know, you got to give it up to him.
How much.
Speaker 1: How much noodling can one person engine to her?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Done, done, I get out of her, Steve, I told you.
Speaker 3: Steve.
Speaker 2: Another Stingering swayed up to him. He's like, do you
just kill it?
Speaker 4: Guy?
Speaker 1: He's like, yeah, I did, And he's like, I thought
we were working on this, buddy, and he's like, you
have no fucking idea.
Speaker 3: You have no idea what I've been through.
Speaker 1: This guy's yelled cry key fifteen times and he keeps
touching my butthole has anybody touched your butthole today, Jared.
Speaker 2: It's really good now, man, No, he had to go.
Speaker 1: I understand, all right, So v is going to the deck.
Jisey wants her to go to the deck so she
doesn't have competition.
Speaker 3: I think I hate Jizzy too.
Speaker 2: Okay. I was wondering if she actually had a motive here. Okay,
it's to get her out of here so that she
can have all the guys to herself.
Speaker 1: They no, no, no, no, it's so that she can
be the apple vaceous eye. Oh what she wants somebody
like breed to come on who can't read.
Speaker 2: Okay, but that's gonna make yours.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's confusing, Okay.
Speaker 2: I don't think she thought this out, well.
Speaker 3: No she did.
Speaker 1: She wants to lord over somebody. Sandy calls a meeting,
and it looks like we've got a return, all right.
Joe snails on his eyebrows, snails on his eyebrows. Slug
sluggy eyebrows is coming back.
Speaker 3: We love Joe.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing, kind of I think we love Joe.
I forget Joe, thank you.
Speaker 2: So I'm gonna sound like a jerk here. I used
to I love radio I'm a big fan of radio,
and I would hear hosts, uh they like Howard Starr
would be like like Rob and be like, oh, Howard
mac David's coming on. He's like, I don't know. Have
we had it on here before? I don't know, Robin,
how big are your tits?
Speaker 3: Come on? Rob? Show me your tits? Come on, Rob.
Speaker 1: We don't have a lot of programming to come on,
come on, Bunafuco didn't fill out any.
Speaker 6: Of this second, Howard, Matt Damon's coming on, and then
I think he's come on for and I would be
asking myself, Howard, you don't know if Matt Damon's come
on your show.
Speaker 2: Before, and he wouldn't remember. The point I'm trying to
make is I don't remember Joe. I'm sure I watched
his entire season. I know I did, actually, because that's
what my job.
Speaker 3: All Right, Gary, what is two plus two thirty six? Oh?
Speaker 2: Wow? Wow?
Speaker 3: Slow down? Okay thirty seven?
Speaker 2: Hold on, Gary, ba bubba boy.
Speaker 3: You're a loser.
Speaker 2: You're you're a monkey.
Speaker 3: Gary, all right, Okay.
Speaker 1: So Howard Stern in the late nineties and early adds
was truly incredible, and we've talked about it before we
have to get back to below deck.
Speaker 3: Okay, thirty six.
Speaker 2: Robby, what do you think about that?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah it was we don't sorry, okay, all right. Tommy
texts speaking of fucking radio hosts, Tommy texts, I hated today.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's because you haven't heard from your girlfriend.
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're not gonna hear from her. Bell throw her
off the banners, the throw throw her over the banister.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me tell you something.
Speaker 8: She is opportunity, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Tom
likes would call this man Tommy a bitch to his face.
Speaker 2: Sen When was the last W had sex with her?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, that she doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: Two weeks then she doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: V asks Nathan about moving to the deck team wait
to go, V, just get up there and throw your
hand at the ring. And I love how Jizzy's like, oh,
my master plan is worked.
Speaker 3: You've done nothing. You've done absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2: Here's my question. Is V thinking like this is her
way out of cleaning toilets because that would be a
motivation for me personally.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, we talked about this last week.
This is her trying to recapture her love for the
exterior that was, uh that flame was put out by
her boyfriend's death underwater by Grizzly Bear. Right, Wow, this
is a very very strong narrative.
Speaker 2: I think the Grizzly Bear had a gun.
Speaker 3: You think we know?
Speaker 1: And it's a shame. We really should be talking about
this because it's a marvel. I don't know why they've
not brought this to the four and you've had to
arm you know, Filipino teens to go dig this out
for us, and I didn't.
Speaker 3: Believe it for her.
Speaker 1: She were like, uh my guy Rodriguez got back to me.
He said, they get this guy got shot underneath the
water by Grizzly Bear.
Speaker 2: So I just say, I'm gonna let the audience this
is on the free feed. Yes, okay, I should know.
Speaker 3: You should, Yeah, you should if you go.
Speaker 2: To Patreon dot com, Slash another podcast network. I do
a show called PMC where I have a crack team
of Filipino children that I'm just uncovered that Disneyland parks
are killing people and I'm gonna do that on the
next PMC. Three people in the last ten days have
died at Disneyland.
Speaker 1: And this is what the Filipino teams are good for
we can have a hunch, but we can't find the info,
the concrete.
Speaker 3: Raw fucking data.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's where Rodriguez and Co. Come in and they
just find shit and they love working on the show.
Speaker 2: Yeah they do.
Speaker 3: Jizy doesn't knows that.
Speaker 1: She can't have sex with the boys on the boat
because it's not right to do to Tom and she
says that it's hard having.
Speaker 2: Hey, dear Dizzy, that's never stopped to see rap before
your best life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's definitely not gonna stop you. So anyways,
very fun show so far, I think.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, hold on, I want to say this all right.
So Christian and Tessa got SHITCN four hours earlier. Why
can't they go to dinner?
Speaker 3: That's my question.
Speaker 2: I always get bummed out by that, Like, go to
dinner and talk about it.
Speaker 3: Now they need them off the boat now.
Speaker 1: Jizzy begins to talk about who Joe is going to
be in love with, and she says that she loves
everyone loving her, And finally someone says it at dinner.
Chef goes, you have a fucking boyfriend. Essentially, he says
taking goods, which is a crude way to refer to
a woman's flower. But somebody's got to say it. I mean,
what are we fucking talking about? You have a goddamn tommy.
You have a tommy. Now we have a little chat
about guests, demands and Josh pulling back a little bit
on this charter, wrong charter.
Speaker 3: Start with that procedure, buddy.
Speaker 2: It was not him, It was Kermit telling him that
he should do that, because I think she knew that
he wouldn't last the entire season going this intensely right.
Speaker 1: So Max is awarded the position of lead deckhand, and
once again we've got an anticlimactic.
Speaker 3: Ending to an evening.
Speaker 1: No ball of snakes, just bed and a vice. Jizzy
sits cross legged, Chris cross applesauce and says, Asha, is
it a bad idea to have a boyfriend on this boat?
And Asha essentially says, you know, yeah. She turns into
a little bit of a tomikis here. She goes, well, listen,
it's a two month relationship. Okay, it's not really, yes.
Speaker 3: But yes, it's a bad idea.
Speaker 2: She's a pragmatist.
Speaker 1: Yes, next day, next morning, finally we cracked the code.
V is going to split joint custody with interior and exterior,
and she says that she should have thought about this,
but or Jizzy says that she should have thought about
this before she planted her seed, that it's going to
be more work on her again, Yeah, how could you
have not thought about that?
Speaker 3: And also again, you didn't.
Speaker 1: You literally haven't done it. This is so confusing to
me why she thinks that she's master minded this whole thing.
She hasn't uttered a word about this to anybody. She's
just thought about it.
Speaker 2: She's planted seeds.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 1: So Joe arrives the romance Israel Israel.
Speaker 3: It's kind now.
Speaker 2: I want to caution Joe. They're hugging each other. They're like,
we'll see you later in the episode. There Max is
running around trying to work the boat, and they're just
having a good time with each other. Joe, beware of
having a romance with Nate. This is what he's gonna do.
He's gonna fall madly in love with you. They'll get
bored and want to bang someone else, and then he'll
have a change of heart and impregnate you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Joe, Yeah, I don't mean to punch holes in
your condom here, but.
Speaker 3: You know what act.
Speaker 1: I think that is probably pretty accurate for what he's
going to do to Joe if he's not careful.
Speaker 3: M hm.
Speaker 1: Next thing you know, Joe is pushing a baby out
of his butt and Nathan.
Speaker 3: Is off to the next fucking franchise.
Speaker 1: Was God, that's so heartbreaking. Life is really sad.
Speaker 2: Sometimes, dyl and I have a theory. You've been theorizing
that Gail comes back to work on the boat. I
don't think she does. I think she just comes say that.
I think she comes back randomly for a dinner out somehow.
She's in town, and that's where they have that argument.
I think he impregnates her like way later than that.
Speaker 3: Oh you think, okay, well we've got to see rap baby.
Speaker 1: Nonetheless, now Joe was driving around looking for treasure or
some shit.
Speaker 3: But he's back and.
Speaker 1: He has to handle the ladies a bit better this
time because last season he had to deal with Brie
and Ellie and you love Tomember.
Speaker 3: This was very contentious.
Speaker 2: I love the Balkan Biscuit.
Speaker 1: Balkan Biscuit was not happy about this one bit, and
pre was just.
Speaker 9: Said, don't fuck me over, dude, I can't read don't
fuck me over. Yeah, all right, it looks like we've
got a fan favorite staying on the dock because of weather.
Speaker 2: Now we all know this never goes over.
Speaker 3: Well, no, how could it.
Speaker 1: You lose the point of the boat entirely what you
pay for has been ripped away from you. Now let's
get to the preference sheet, meaning it's time.
Speaker 3: For the preet.
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Speaker 3: It's not over.
Speaker 2: Let me tell you some people. You can go, I guess,
scroll on your Facebook feed and see what people you
went to high school with and what they're I don't know,
eating for dinner tonight. Or you can download that app
and have some real fun.
Speaker 3: Or you can eat Factor for dinner.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, is there anything better for dinner than Factor?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: Probably not, maybe like a really nice meal out, but
in terms of like every day go to at home cuisine,
give me Factor every single time.
Speaker 2: Hey, del so I'm getting Factor. I do the Calorie
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at the beginning of the week. There's seven meals in there.
Each one is different and unique to my preferences. And
every because I'm on the Calorie Smart program, every meal
is under five hundred galleries.
Speaker 7: Five hundred galories.
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Speaker 2: Let's go to the preference shape.
Speaker 1: We got real estate people, LaDonna and our friends.
Speaker 2: Aside from knowing that we have some vegans here, this
was a preference sheet meeting with no preferences.
Speaker 3: No just vegan and Oscar is that his name?
Speaker 1: Carlos demands creativity from the chef.
Speaker 3: Now let's get to Josh. Who ah.
Speaker 2: Sea rat history?
Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of kind of okay, So.
Speaker 2: We get some sea rat history from Josh. Of course,
he lived in a hippie commune when they grew potatoes,
and his grandpa's turns or something. Zero points for that
unless eating some of your poop turn to you into
a zombie and then you start eating brains. Dylan, what
was that tribe in? Like, I don't know, some country,
where they started eating brains and then they lost their
goddamn minds soon.
Speaker 3: That thang on.
Speaker 2: This actually you did an aps on it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this actually I think happened in New Guinea.
Speaker 2: Okay, So they decided they're going to start eating people's brains.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's called laughing sickness.
Speaker 1: You start getting, uh, you know, when you eat fermented
brain matter from people, you start getting the laughing sickness
where you look like the joker, like you're smiling and
you're really sick, and then you die. And then what
happens in you know, communities that are kind of ripped
away voluntarily into their own accord and of their own accord,
but from Western medicine and Eastern medicine really any reason whatsoever,
They just eat those brains too, so they get sick
and then everybody's just laughing and dying and shitting themselves.
Speaker 2: Wow, they should make a documentary about it.
Speaker 1: Oh, they'll throw freaking rocks and spears at you if
you try to get close to them.
Speaker 2: Caitlin, have you ever heard of this story?
Speaker 3: Now? I have not. Wow.
Speaker 2: I highly recommend the Blumhouse film Green Inferno.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's spooky season, Josh obviously lived in that co
oppy obviously.
Speaker 2: Oh zero points.
Speaker 1: This is not Searet sad scale, this is Hearet history.
Speaker 2: The two go together kind of.
Speaker 1: But yeah, he obviously took naked pictures of beats on
his dick or something. V has expressed interest in Joe,
but Jizzy has a conscience, so naturally she jumps into
Joe's arms and he begins to curl her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is pretty pathetic.
Speaker 3: Jizzy says. This is going to be interesting. Jizzy strikes
me as a guy's girl, meaning she.
Speaker 2: Likes the guys. She doesn't like hanging out with girls. No, no,
a guy's girl.
Speaker 3: Yeah no, well that's what I mean.
Speaker 1: I mean, no, she doesn't like hanging out with the girls.
Speaker 2: Yeah that's right. Yeah, okay. Also, I think in her head,
forgive me for this, I think the way that she's
behaving and acting in the attention she needs is almost
like how a former ugly girl feels when she gets pretty,
like in an eighties movie. Huh, She's like, Wow, no
one ever looked at me, and now I'm getting all
this attention and I love it. Yeah, Like she's like
one of the guys.
Speaker 3: Well, poor v O, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: That movies about a girl that pretends to be a guy.
Speaker 3: Sorry, what are you talking about? Hot chick?
Speaker 2: Hot chick?
Speaker 3: Are you talking about hot chick?
Speaker 2: Now? Just one of the guys came out in nineteen
eighty five.
Speaker 3: Sorry, just one of the guys.
Speaker 2: It was called just They had a theme song, just
one of the guys. Okay, Caitlen find it. No, that's
why he's here, Calen, find the song? Just one of
the guys.
Speaker 1: Well, we don't have do you have it plugged into
the board?
Speaker 2: Yeah, played just one of the guys.
Speaker 3: Okay. Meanwhile, we have some picky eaters.
Speaker 2: Okay, so the guests arrive.
Speaker 3: Yes, the guests arrived, and.
Speaker 1: Nathan and Joe are raving out to piano stocked music
and we're writing Cowboys.
Speaker 3: But we need to get to lunch.
Speaker 2: Okay, before you start that, did you find the song?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 3: This one?
Speaker 2: I have heros just play it.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know.
Speaker 2: If it's just one of the guys. Give me a
minute here, scrub it, just play the first.
Speaker 3: No, just give him a minute to find it. Okay,
let's get to lunch. There's a slight potkle know if.
Speaker 4: This is going to I don't know if I can
play this is copyrighted, then I can't.
Speaker 2: Don't worry about play the fifteen seconds?
Speaker 3: Is this?
Speaker 1: It is this just one of the guys.
Speaker 3: No, it's not.
Speaker 1: No, it's not it's not so why did why didn't
you let him for.
Speaker 2: Nineteen eighty five soundtrack? Just one of the guys?
Speaker 3: Hey, why don't we just drop it?
Speaker 2: Okay? Sorry, lunch?
Speaker 3: It was just like pause to lunch.
Speaker 1: Sandy has to say thank you for coming. We're not
going to fucking go anywhere.
Speaker 2: Okay. How do you feel about the timing of this?
Because I thought this was a bad idea. Let them
enjoy lunch, make them think that the boat's gonna start
and go out in the ocean, and then break the
bad news.
Speaker 1: It turned that's an okay play, But it turned out
that that was not going to be the best series
of events.
Speaker 2: Hold on, don't you think that they grafted on their
feelings about lunch based upon that bad news that had
been delivered?
Speaker 1: I think lunch was always well maybe maybe, but but
lunch was going to be bad. I think I don't
think there's anything that Josh can do to make a
Carlos happy. Carlos wants very specific I don't know what
vegans want. You know, I think it's admirable. I think
it's very admirable.
Speaker 2: But there's two vegans on here, right, yeah, Carlos and
his wife. Yeah okay, yeah, the picky eater.
Speaker 1: Can I get like a rap or something like a
vegetable rap or.
Speaker 2: She asked for a rap? Yeah, okay, he got her
a rap.
Speaker 1: Okay, So listen, lunch does not go off, let's say,
without a hitch. Oysters or served.
Speaker 3: They do not want them raw, they want them fried.
Why are you laughing? Why are you burying your head?
Right now?
Speaker 1: There's some hungry people. Yeah, yeah, they're hungry people. They go, yeah,
this is all good, but I need a giant fucking
bowl of French fries. Yeah, and i'm McDonald's.
Speaker 2: You come on a luxury yacht to get French fries.
Speaker 3: They want French fries.
Speaker 1: They want the oysters fried, And after they've consumed their meal,
they're just nowhere near satisfied.
Speaker 3: They're pecky eater. They're pecky eaters. Yeah, yep, mm hmm yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Them eating looks like somebody ripping the dining cloth off
of the table. It's it a tablecloth off the diner.
I don't know. They eat in a hurry and it's
not enough. They want fries, they want to wrap, and
Carlos says, salads are fucking appetizers, okay, and I'm not
gonna be served a salad for my man. And listen,
it's his vacation, That's right, it's his vacation.
Speaker 2: He cater to this.
Speaker 3: He can be a bit if he wants to.
Speaker 2: Now he does something interesting, which he is. This at
the point where he walks down into the gallery, he
needs to uh. He demands time with the chef and
he tells him to put onions and tomatoes and things.
He goes, listen, I'm gonna need to talk to you
because that was not okay, that rap?
Speaker 3: What do you put onions and tomatoes in that? Okay?
Why are you down here?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get ahead of myself here. When Josh later
on the episode has the charter guess, most of them
come out to basically get feedback on what they would
like for dinner. Carlos was not at that sitting. He
should have been there.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that was his mistake.
Speaker 1: No, but they told him just salmon, chicken, mashed potatoes, burgers. Yeah,
French fries, more French brownies, fried oysters.
Speaker 3: And he's like, oh my god, this.
Speaker 2: Sounds more like Vegas buffet anything there, everything there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and uh, we'll get to And we also have
to stop with the clown makeup. I need the clown
makeup to now.
Speaker 2: You know how they shoot reality TV. This was one
day with him with the clown makeup on and they're
just talking him.
Speaker 3: Don't use it so much. He's really fucked up.
Speaker 2: Sorry to break up this stuff. Uh did you find
just one of the guys?
Speaker 3: I stopped looking for it. Oh my, you said forget
about it.
Speaker 2: I didn't say that.
Speaker 1: All right, Caylen, will you keep he's got to switch
the show.
Speaker 3: Fine, but now you're not going to be present. I'm
gonna be present.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna find this song in ten seconds.
Speaker 1: Are you gonna be embarrassed if he finds the song?
Speaker 3: He told me to stop looking for it.
Speaker 2: I didn't say something.
Speaker 3: You know, we we haven't yelled at him yet.
Speaker 2: You know we will never.
Speaker 1: You don't want to recapture some of the old Corolla
days where we just fucking flip to each other for
not finding the song.
Speaker 2: It is. It's so funny to hear him with his
new staff and they think like he's going to be
nice now and he's not.
Speaker 3: Anyways, Kalin, what the fuck? I mean? You can't find
the fucking what the fuck? So uh not Carlos.
Speaker 1: Josh goes upstairs and he talks to the primary and
her friends and he goes, hey, so I don't want
to repeat of what just happened, So why don't you
let me know what you.
Speaker 3: Want for dinner? But what he says first is do you.
Speaker 1: Want it plated or family style?
Speaker 3: Big mistake. If there are people that have.
Speaker 1: Different dietary restrictions, never give.
Speaker 3: Them family style. Just don't do that.
Speaker 1: Have everyone have a mane and then put a vegan
spin on the main That's how you avoid massive plates
of food that two people can't eat.
Speaker 2: That is so funny that I had thought family style
was the idea until you put it that way, because
he could have specifically catered to Carlos. Yeah, and shut
him up.
Speaker 1: Right, if you're doing a ribbi, you can do a
portobella with a jew, right instead of there's a plate
of ribbis, and Carlos is looking at that plate like, well,
that's not for me that's not for fucking me. There's
no tomatoes and onions on that. It's just dead animal flesh.
Speaker 3: Wow. And he's gonna be poopy pants about it, all right.
Speaker 1: So they head out to a nice day in Barcelona
and the theme for the dinner is going to be
Americano and Cowboy. But first Jesse starts talking about being
about sex being an important part of a relationship while
she's working with me, and Nate says, oh, so you're
saying you're horny, aren't you? Whoa okay buddy, now the
head of an apartment.
Speaker 2: Have I mentioned that I worked with a guy at
North American Insurance that got fired for offering a girl
a shoulder massage when he walked by her and she said,
my neck hurts. He got fired for that. I'm not
saying he shouldn't have right, I'm just saying saying this
is yes.
Speaker 1: Now, her saying my neck hurts is not an invitation
for you to touch.
Speaker 2: Her, fair enough, But he offered, would you like a
back massie?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: And then she went to hr, Yeah, No, this is
different because Nate just says, so you're horny right now? Again,
Nate's weakness is women.
Speaker 2: Yes, and boy are they a weakness for all of us?
Speaker 1: Yes, but you have to be able to handle yourself,
you know, with some kind of decorum here, Nate.
Speaker 2: Okay, so we're gonna wrap up the excursion. I think
in like two seconds.
Speaker 3: I wrapped it up.
Speaker 2: Joe lets us know that he's gonna allow the charter
guests to go on his date with him and v
uh huh, yeah, that's what it was.
Speaker 3: And well it also wraps.
Speaker 1: Up with Carlos being just just a little kid. I
mean he's moping around. He's like, he's like, look this
ice creams Vegan. It's like, I mean genuinely is like
five year old shit.
Speaker 3: You're like, oh, that's good ice.
Speaker 2: Cream speaking up all right. So with Carlos, I think
he might be in the mode because obviously you pay
for this trip or whatever, and you're a little angry.
So when one thing or two things happen that aren't
going your way that are specific to what your desires were,
now it's in your craw Now you're gonna make it
a thing.
Speaker 1: He's made it a thing, and arriving back on the
boat and being offered jello shots is not gonna help
alleviate this thing. Okay, So to be fair to Carlos,
like he knows, what the fuck are you doing? You
can make shots for everybody. You can do shots vegan
pretty easily. The one thing you can't put in it
in alcohol to make it not vegan is gelatin with
ground pig in it.
Speaker 2: Kaitlin, did you know that gelatin has actually collagen from
swine in it? Did you know that I'm learning that
it is not vegan.
Speaker 3: No, it's not vegan.
Speaker 2: It's actually they grind up a pig or a cow's
tissue to connect all that fucking.
Speaker 1: The hoofs and all of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you look at jello and you go, oh, I
understand that it's probably not healthy.
Speaker 3: It's alien green. There's no animal in that.
Speaker 2: No, it's it's fine. No, it's fucking it's animal parts
in that. Yeah, Carlos, good for you. I will never
eat that again. That is so gross. Really, no Ah,
who knew? Now I have to start questioning what I'm eating.
Jello is the last thing that I think that you
have no dead animal.
Speaker 3: Pools, and vegans cannot eat jello.
Speaker 2: But I have to tell you this made me come
around to Carlos. He knows he's not just one of
these like I'm going to be a vegan and be difficult.
He's like he literally does not want animal products in
his body.
Speaker 1: Well, he's also quite difficult.
Speaker 2: He's a bitch.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's a bitch. So V is great, obviously.
Speaker 1: I just want to say V is my favorite person
on the show. She's just she's got an incredible attitude.
She's just there to work. Her boyfriend got shot by
grizzly bear underwater recently, and she still got a smile.
Speaker 2: It's like pretty much, well it was the DRUP deal
gone bad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just so heartbreaking. I know, life
is so fleeting. Sometimes one day you're scuba diving, you
get a.
Speaker 3: Call underwater, my boy wants to meet you.
Speaker 2: He's like, where do you want to meet He's like
at the reef with those jellyfish.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And one thing that I gotta tell you, my boy
he's a grizzly bear and he packs heats. I don't
fuck around. He's like, no problem, and handle it, no problem.
Then all of a sudden, fucking swipeing at you.
Speaker 2: You imagine writing that obituary. Yeah, that's what they just say.
Speaker 1: Died peacefully in their sleep exactly. So vegan and normal
potato mash is up first, and we get some snapper,
we get some steak, we get some vegan salmon, which
sounds disgusting.
Speaker 3: I agree with that.
Speaker 1: Things seem to be going well, except there's one person
who is not happy.
Speaker 2: All right, so six out of the seven charter gas
are pleased at this point. They feel catered to. There,
you know, they're receiving what they had wonted.
Speaker 1: Yes, not for Carlos, No, not for Carlos.
Speaker 3: He says that there's too much starch.
Speaker 2: And his, as you point out, his body isn't getting
what it needs.
Speaker 1: And he needs greens now, not salads. Salads are disgusting
and appetizers. Only he wants greens. Wants some kind of kale,
some type of tusk and tusk and.
Speaker 3: Kale or some shit like that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, also an ingredient in salad.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, dude, I'll fucking do as. Salad as one
of my favorite things. When you go to Musa's. Obviously
it's not a pork chop, right, but uh yeah, vegans
have a tough I mean, if you go to Musa's,
you can't have cream spinach. That's done the steak, can
of pork chop. Can't eat those can't have potato. Most
of the potatoes have like cheese and milk and them
and stuff like that.
Speaker 2: What a restaurant should do that doesn't want to deal
with vegans is have a sign that says are you
a vegan? And then an arrow that says point here,
and then as you turn the corner, it's the exit.
That's what Carlos should have got.
Speaker 1: Get in the comments, let us know you thought about
the episode. We want you guys have a great week.
We are celebrating buzzball Friday.
Speaker 3: Here.
Speaker 1: It is your Monday or Tuesday. So hey, kick ass
this week.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: Just go out kick some ass, fucking take the world,
grab it by the balls and make it your own.
Speaker 3: Yep, that's what I'm saying. We love you very much
for supporting us.
Speaker 1: Go to a picture on our conversation of the podcast
network for Real Housewolves of Salt Lake and is that
trait does.
Speaker 3: Wells EPs and BMC. We love you very much. I'm done.
Speaker 5: Say good bye, Pat, Say goodbye.
Speaker 2: Instinct intef at the distincts