WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.120 --> 00:00:02.319
<v Speaker 1>Your flat out and your to do list is grown

2
00:00:02.359 --> 00:00:05.839
<v Speaker 1>by the minute, but unfortunately, so is your headache. And

3
00:00:05.879 --> 00:00:11.640
<v Speaker 1>now you've gone from flat out to flattened. Luckily, Panadal

4
00:00:11.759 --> 00:00:15.039
<v Speaker 1>extra film coated tablets are boosted by caffeine and they

5
00:00:15.039 --> 00:00:18.000
<v Speaker 1>get to work in as little as ten minutes for

6
00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:21.679
<v Speaker 1>powerful relief. That's more than just paracetamol. That's one for

7
00:00:21.800 --> 00:00:25.760
<v Speaker 1>Panadal speed based on absorption data contains paracetamol.

8
00:00:25.839 --> 00:00:27.320
<v Speaker 2>Always read the label or leaflet.

9
00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:33.039
<v Speaker 3>Do you know what real power is? It's knowing you're

10
00:00:33.079 --> 00:00:35.799
<v Speaker 3>on the same rate for energy all day, every day

11
00:00:35.840 --> 00:00:38.719
<v Speaker 3>with a smart all day plan from board Gosh Energy,

12
00:00:38.920 --> 00:00:41.119
<v Speaker 3>save up to eight hundred and eighty euro on dual

13
00:00:41.200 --> 00:00:43.600
<v Speaker 3>fuel plus get a two hundred and thirty five eure

14
00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:47.079
<v Speaker 3>O welcome bonus switch today at Boardgosh Energy dot I

15
00:00:47.200 --> 00:00:48.759
<v Speaker 3>e Board Gosh Energy.

16
00:00:49.000 --> 00:00:51.759
<v Speaker 4>Know your power estimating on your a bill of twenty

17
00:00:51.840 --> 00:00:53.679
<v Speaker 4>six hundred and twenty nine your own new customers only

18
00:00:53.719 --> 00:00:56.240
<v Speaker 4>thirst percentis kent off smart all day electricity unit rates

19
00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:58.840
<v Speaker 4>in twenty nine percent of gas unitrates Seedportcush Energy dot

20
00:00:58.920 --> 00:00:59.920
<v Speaker 4>E for fulltiesncies.

21
00:01:00.399 --> 00:01:03.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh hey, it's your weird old dog hiding behind the

22
00:01:03.280 --> 00:01:06.079
<v Speaker 2>couch because I ate from the garbage. Hey w Ally

23
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:09.319
<v Speaker 2>Ward right here? Oh man? Okay, So this week and

24
00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:13.599
<v Speaker 2>next week's episode originally aired in April twenty eighteen. It's

25
00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.159
<v Speaker 2>a listener favorite. It's one episode people go back to

26
00:01:16.280 --> 00:01:18.760
<v Speaker 2>for re listen when times are tough and they need

27
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:20.920
<v Speaker 2>a pep talk and a life coach and a brain

28
00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:24.760
<v Speaker 2>scientist all in one for free. Also, this week, Time

29
00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:27.560
<v Speaker 2>magazine named Ology is one of their top fifty podcasts,

30
00:01:27.640 --> 00:01:30.719
<v Speaker 2>which freaked me out in the best way and also

31
00:01:30.760 --> 00:01:32.719
<v Speaker 2>made me google how many podcasts are there? And there's

32
00:01:32.760 --> 00:01:35.239
<v Speaker 2>seven hundred thousand out there, so this honor is not

33
00:01:35.319 --> 00:01:38.120
<v Speaker 2>lost on me. Thank you Time Magazine. They shouted out

34
00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:41.640
<v Speaker 2>this two part episode in particular is a great intro,

35
00:01:41.879 --> 00:01:44.640
<v Speaker 2>and I decided for that reason to rerun it so

36
00:01:44.760 --> 00:01:47.519
<v Speaker 2>new folks could easily find it. And also it's smack

37
00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:50.239
<v Speaker 2>dab in the thick of the holidays this week, so

38
00:01:50.319 --> 00:01:53.159
<v Speaker 2>if you've already listened, listen again. Also, do you want

39
00:01:53.159 --> 00:01:55.719
<v Speaker 2>to hear something bananas that is forcing me to take

40
00:01:55.799 --> 00:01:58.400
<v Speaker 2>a two week break to get ahead on January's episode? Okay,

41
00:01:58.400 --> 00:02:00.239
<v Speaker 2>I'll tell you this is like the secret the end

42
00:02:00.239 --> 00:02:02.239
<v Speaker 2>of the episode that's coming at the beginning. So my

43
00:02:02.400 --> 00:02:05.760
<v Speaker 2>podcast network that I work with, I'm contracted for fifty

44
00:02:05.760 --> 00:02:08.639
<v Speaker 2>episodes a year, and so they didn't have any slated

45
00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:10.719
<v Speaker 2>for this week or next week. They were like, oh,

46
00:02:10.719 --> 00:02:13.240
<v Speaker 2>you're putting out episodes and I'm like, yeah, I'm working

47
00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:14.879
<v Speaker 2>on them, and they were like, we didn't think you

48
00:02:14.919 --> 00:02:17.080
<v Speaker 2>were having them anyway. So there was some sort of

49
00:02:17.159 --> 00:02:20.039
<v Speaker 2>administrative error where I'm not supposed to have episodes up

50
00:02:20.039 --> 00:02:21.800
<v Speaker 2>this week. So the ones I was working on for

51
00:02:21.840 --> 00:02:24.680
<v Speaker 2>this week are going to start airing January seventh, and

52
00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:26.919
<v Speaker 2>so for this week and next week. That's another reason

53
00:02:26.960 --> 00:02:28.800
<v Speaker 2>why I'm putting up this encore is because it's a

54
00:02:28.800 --> 00:02:32.319
<v Speaker 2>great episode. Time Magazine just shouted it out and I'm

55
00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:35.159
<v Speaker 2>not supposed to be running episodes this week. Woops. So

56
00:02:35.360 --> 00:02:37.120
<v Speaker 2>make sure you're subscribed now so you get those and

57
00:02:37.120 --> 00:02:38.960
<v Speaker 2>then come back next week to hear part two of

58
00:02:39.000 --> 00:02:41.840
<v Speaker 2>this episode. Honestly, there's no better way to start the

59
00:02:41.879 --> 00:02:45.000
<v Speaker 2>new year than having a refresher course on kicking your

60
00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:49.080
<v Speaker 2>fears in the dick metaphorically. Okay, so fear, when was

61
00:02:49.120 --> 00:02:50.800
<v Speaker 2>the last time you felt it? There might be a

62
00:02:50.800 --> 00:02:53.680
<v Speaker 2>slim percentage of tough boys being like when I was

63
00:02:53.719 --> 00:02:57.680
<v Speaker 2>five and we all know that you're lying. We're scared constantly.

64
00:02:58.199 --> 00:03:00.960
<v Speaker 2>Someone almost spills a slurpee on your new shirt. No

65
00:03:01.000 --> 00:03:03.639
<v Speaker 2>one in the group chat responds to your meme. Or

66
00:03:03.639 --> 00:03:06.319
<v Speaker 2>your credit score went down because you messed up auto pay.

67
00:03:06.560 --> 00:03:08.120
<v Speaker 2>Maybe you have to buy a gift for your sister.

68
00:03:08.360 --> 00:03:11.639
<v Speaker 2>She might not like it. We're scared all the time,

69
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:14.000
<v Speaker 2>and as it turns out, for kind of weird reasons.

70
00:03:14.199 --> 00:03:16.919
<v Speaker 2>But we can do something about it. Before we get

71
00:03:16.919 --> 00:03:19.159
<v Speaker 2>into it really quick, I want to say thank you

72
00:03:19.360 --> 00:03:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Ologies listeners, You're all great. Thank you to patrons on

73
00:03:22.400 --> 00:03:25.080
<v Speaker 2>patreon dot com slash ologies for making it happen every

74
00:03:25.120 --> 00:03:28.759
<v Speaker 2>week and submitting your questions for theologists. We'll hear those

75
00:03:28.800 --> 00:03:32.240
<v Speaker 2>in part two. Thank you to the listeners for every tweet, everygram,

76
00:03:32.479 --> 00:03:35.000
<v Speaker 2>every friend or foe you tell about the show, and

77
00:03:35.080 --> 00:03:38.319
<v Speaker 2>of course for everyone who rates and subscribes and reviews.

78
00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:41.120
<v Speaker 2>You know each week I read all of your reviews

79
00:03:41.199 --> 00:03:43.360
<v Speaker 2>like a creep so that I can pick a fresh one.

80
00:03:43.400 --> 00:03:46.680
<v Speaker 2>And this one is staymy hot. It's from December twenty

81
00:03:46.759 --> 00:03:49.280
<v Speaker 2>n eighteen from Stepha Paluza, who says, I feel so

82
00:03:49.319 --> 00:03:51.800
<v Speaker 2>smart now every time I listen to an ology sep

83
00:03:51.840 --> 00:03:55.039
<v Speaker 2>My brain grows three sizes like a grin chart. Thank

84
00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:57.919
<v Speaker 2>you so much for that. Stepha Paluza also timely reference.

85
00:03:58.039 --> 00:04:01.039
<v Speaker 2>I dig it. Okay, fear ology. You're like, really, is

86
00:04:01.080 --> 00:04:04.400
<v Speaker 2>this a real word? Wouldn't this be phobiology because phobias

87
00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:09.520
<v Speaker 2>are just fears, right, No, phobias are technically irrational fears

88
00:04:09.879 --> 00:04:13.159
<v Speaker 2>or obsessive fears. So the word fear comes from a

89
00:04:13.240 --> 00:04:17.000
<v Speaker 2>root meaning danger. So phobias are maybe a little ott

90
00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:20.360
<v Speaker 2>well over the top, little specific, but fear is a

91
00:04:20.360 --> 00:04:23.360
<v Speaker 2>response to everyday danger. And I looked it up and

92
00:04:23.480 --> 00:04:26.839
<v Speaker 2>ferology is in fact a real word, and it's been

93
00:04:26.920 --> 00:04:30.480
<v Speaker 2>used in books about fear, for example Philosophy of Fearism,

94
00:04:30.759 --> 00:04:33.360
<v Speaker 2>a First East West Dialogue, and then a few other

95
00:04:33.480 --> 00:04:35.959
<v Speaker 2>experts in stress and fear and anxiety. I think this

96
00:04:36.000 --> 00:04:38.279
<v Speaker 2>is a critical field of study. I am throwing my

97
00:04:38.360 --> 00:04:42.879
<v Speaker 2>weight behind making farology an even realer, more commonly used word.

98
00:04:43.079 --> 00:04:44.600
<v Speaker 2>So let's talk about it. So I came across this

99
00:04:44.639 --> 00:04:46.879
<v Speaker 2>ologist work and I was immediately I must speak to her,

100
00:04:46.920 --> 00:04:49.279
<v Speaker 2>I must know her. Then I sent her a fangirl

101
00:04:49.319 --> 00:04:51.439
<v Speaker 2>email and I found out she lived a mile away

102
00:04:51.439 --> 00:04:55.120
<v Speaker 2>from me. What thrilled. So we had a time set

103
00:04:55.160 --> 00:04:57.759
<v Speaker 2>to do the interview, and about ten minutes before she

104
00:04:57.920 --> 00:04:59.879
<v Speaker 2>emailed me to say she was on her way by

105
00:05:00.639 --> 00:05:03.759
<v Speaker 2>I was eating toast at a coffee shop, having fully

106
00:05:03.800 --> 00:05:06.279
<v Speaker 2>forgotten that we were recording. I don't know what was

107
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:08.680
<v Speaker 2>wrong with me. So I saw the email. I abandoned

108
00:05:08.720 --> 00:05:10.879
<v Speaker 2>my friend and my toast at the coffee shop, and

109
00:05:10.920 --> 00:05:14.040
<v Speaker 2>I sped walked home like a weird lady getting exercise

110
00:05:14.079 --> 00:05:16.720
<v Speaker 2>at a mall, and I arrived just as she walked up.

111
00:05:16.879 --> 00:05:20.519
<v Speaker 2>I was very sweaty. My apartment was littered with tax paperwork.

112
00:05:20.759 --> 00:05:23.920
<v Speaker 2>I was mortified. I was stressed out, I was afraid

113
00:05:23.959 --> 00:05:28.160
<v Speaker 2>of being judged. I was damp in many places. It

114
00:05:28.279 --> 00:05:31.040
<v Speaker 2>was perfect. So we recorded for about two hours. So

115
00:05:31.079 --> 00:05:33.360
<v Speaker 2>this episode is broken into part one this week, which

116
00:05:33.360 --> 00:05:36.079
<v Speaker 2>covers a lot of ground, and then part two, which

117
00:05:36.160 --> 00:05:39.160
<v Speaker 2>answers your questions and gives even more insight on how

118
00:05:39.319 --> 00:05:42.759
<v Speaker 2>super successful folks address their fears. And there were parts

119
00:05:42.800 --> 00:05:45.920
<v Speaker 2>where I was so shaken I couldn't make words and

120
00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:48.879
<v Speaker 2>I just grunted in response. So come back next week

121
00:05:48.920 --> 00:05:52.079
<v Speaker 2>for the follow up episode. Because they're both honestly real

122
00:05:52.120 --> 00:05:55.120
<v Speaker 2>life fixers, trust Time Magazine on this. So she is

123
00:05:55.160 --> 00:05:57.839
<v Speaker 2>an instructor at San Jose State University. She is a

124
00:05:57.879 --> 00:06:02.160
<v Speaker 2>ted X speaker and my ever anxiety guru, whether she

125
00:06:02.439 --> 00:06:05.040
<v Speaker 2>likes it or not. So please breathe deep and make

126
00:06:05.160 --> 00:06:10.439
<v Speaker 2>room for epiphanies with the woman, the legend, ferologist Mary

127
00:06:10.560 --> 00:06:31.920
<v Speaker 2>Poffin Roth. So now this is your mic. I'm I'm

128
00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:38.079
<v Speaker 2>still sweating. I'm sorry. This is the swettiest interview I've

129
00:06:38.079 --> 00:06:38.480
<v Speaker 2>ever done.

130
00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.439
<v Speaker 5>I mean, sweating is part of the stress response. So

131
00:06:41.480 --> 00:06:44.480
<v Speaker 5>it's it's good that you came all like ready to go.

132
00:06:45.399 --> 00:06:47.759
<v Speaker 2>You're like, it's good. You're a literal hot mess right now?

133
00:06:48.439 --> 00:06:50.279
<v Speaker 2>Have I ever been a lot of rest? And now? Okay?

134
00:06:50.439 --> 00:06:52.879
<v Speaker 2>I emailed you and I was like, is there? I

135
00:06:52.920 --> 00:06:55.560
<v Speaker 2>knew that you studied fear? Yeah, and I was like

136
00:06:56.120 --> 00:06:57.879
<v Speaker 2>is that? And for a second, I was like, is

137
00:06:57.879 --> 00:07:01.600
<v Speaker 2>it possible that you study pairs and this is a typo?

138
00:07:02.120 --> 00:07:04.480
<v Speaker 2>Or you study feet or something and is a type

139
00:07:04.519 --> 00:07:06.360
<v Speaker 2>of because there's no way that you just study fear.

140
00:07:06.360 --> 00:07:08.600
<v Speaker 2>That's too awesome. So how did you get into the

141
00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:11.160
<v Speaker 2>study of fear? Like why where do you even start?

142
00:07:12.120 --> 00:07:15.800
<v Speaker 5>I was raised by someone that was afraid of everything, so,

143
00:07:16.319 --> 00:07:18.879
<v Speaker 5>you know, like all good parents, my mom did a

144
00:07:18.920 --> 00:07:21.040
<v Speaker 5>really awesome job of fucking me up, because I think

145
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:24.040
<v Speaker 5>that's what parents do, right. She was a loving mom

146
00:07:24.040 --> 00:07:26.319
<v Speaker 5>and had a great childhood, but like all parents, that's

147
00:07:26.360 --> 00:07:29.560
<v Speaker 5>your job to you know, pass on your dysfunctions to

148
00:07:29.879 --> 00:07:33.519
<v Speaker 5>your children. And you know, she never had a passport,

149
00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:35.279
<v Speaker 5>she never left the country.

150
00:07:35.519 --> 00:07:37.800
<v Speaker 2>You know, she was very much and only went to

151
00:07:37.879 --> 00:07:38.399
<v Speaker 2>high school.

152
00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:40.800
<v Speaker 5>I didn't come from an educated family. I was the

153
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:43.199
<v Speaker 5>only one in my entire family to go to college,

154
00:07:43.800 --> 00:07:46.920
<v Speaker 5>and so it's it's one of those things that she

155
00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:50.839
<v Speaker 5>passed on a lot of her fears onto me, and

156
00:07:50.920 --> 00:07:54.279
<v Speaker 5>as she got older then it just kind of escalated.

157
00:07:54.879 --> 00:07:58.240
<v Speaker 5>And it was not until like, you know, my late

158
00:07:58.399 --> 00:08:02.000
<v Speaker 5>twenties and I realized I haven't left the country either.

159
00:08:02.639 --> 00:08:05.519
<v Speaker 2>Mary was the youngest of five siblings and the only

160
00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:07.879
<v Speaker 2>one to graduate from high school. So she ended up

161
00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:11.800
<v Speaker 2>earning one master's in science having studied ecology and evolution

162
00:08:12.040 --> 00:08:16.720
<v Speaker 2>and population biology, and another ms in science communication, which

163
00:08:16.759 --> 00:08:19.240
<v Speaker 2>are two really high up limbs to go out on,

164
00:08:19.399 --> 00:08:21.879
<v Speaker 2>if you ask me, and thus very brave and cool.

165
00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:26.319
<v Speaker 5>And I became a university lecturer in biology at age

166
00:08:26.319 --> 00:08:28.879
<v Speaker 5>twenty seven and was doing well in my career but

167
00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:33.879
<v Speaker 5>felt like, okay, there's all these like explorers that I

168
00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:38.559
<v Speaker 5>see in ecological biology that I find are my heroes,

169
00:08:38.600 --> 00:08:41.480
<v Speaker 5>and they're doing all this cool stuff, and I'm still

170
00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:45.120
<v Speaker 5>in the same town that I've lived for my whole life.

171
00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:46.639
<v Speaker 2>What is going on?

172
00:08:47.000 --> 00:08:49.919
<v Speaker 5>So I started to kind of examine where that was

173
00:08:49.919 --> 00:08:51.919
<v Speaker 5>coming from, and that's really when I started to get

174
00:08:51.960 --> 00:08:57.240
<v Speaker 5>super excited about the study of fear. My personal research background,

175
00:08:57.240 --> 00:08:59.759
<v Speaker 5>my first job was at NASA AMES in the Bay

176
00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:06.279
<v Speaker 5>Area looking at the impact of hypergravity on the Mamlian system,

177
00:09:07.159 --> 00:09:10.399
<v Speaker 5>which sounds super fancy for putting rats in a really

178
00:09:10.399 --> 00:09:13.039
<v Speaker 5>big centrifuge and spinning them around for months.

179
00:09:13.159 --> 00:09:16.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, have you ever been in a centrifuge? No?

180
00:09:16.600 --> 00:09:18.240
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, no, they don't let us go in there, but

181
00:09:18.519 --> 00:09:21.519
<v Speaker 5>like the walls were so thick. We had like we're

182
00:09:21.519 --> 00:09:23.440
<v Speaker 5>in a bunker in case things went wrong with the

183
00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:24.320
<v Speaker 5>centrifuge because it.

184
00:09:24.240 --> 00:09:25.799
<v Speaker 2>Could like spin out of control.

185
00:09:25.919 --> 00:09:27.879
<v Speaker 5>And that's where I first started to get some of

186
00:09:27.879 --> 00:09:32.159
<v Speaker 5>the physiology experience of the impact of stress. What we

187
00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:36.080
<v Speaker 5>were looking at in the hypergravitational study was basically it

188
00:09:36.159 --> 00:09:39.240
<v Speaker 5>was it was a preface of can we send humans

189
00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:41.840
<v Speaker 5>into a long term journey where their bodies are going

190
00:09:41.879 --> 00:09:44.679
<v Speaker 5>to be under hypergravitational stress. So we were looking at

191
00:09:44.679 --> 00:09:48.159
<v Speaker 5>stress and you know, can can they pee, can make

192
00:09:48.159 --> 00:09:50.919
<v Speaker 5>when they eat, well, they still fornicate, well, they do

193
00:09:51.000 --> 00:09:54.320
<v Speaker 5>all the things, and you know, under long periods of stress.

194
00:09:54.720 --> 00:09:58.759
<v Speaker 5>And that was really when I started to examine the

195
00:09:59.120 --> 00:10:02.799
<v Speaker 5>body's response to stress and stress. Is that funny word

196
00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:07.279
<v Speaker 5>when we think about fear, Like no one uses.

197
00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:10.039
<v Speaker 2>The word fear in common language. Yea for the most part.

198
00:10:10.440 --> 00:10:13.519
<v Speaker 5>And that's another interesting side note of actually what portion

199
00:10:13.600 --> 00:10:16.679
<v Speaker 5>of the demographic in Western society uses the word fear.

200
00:10:17.399 --> 00:10:19.399
<v Speaker 5>We can, we can come back to that, But stress

201
00:10:19.440 --> 00:10:22.679
<v Speaker 5>and fear basically the same when we think about I'm

202
00:10:22.679 --> 00:10:24.000
<v Speaker 5>sorry ahead, No, I just.

203
00:10:24.039 --> 00:10:29.960
<v Speaker 2>Was grunting because I was like, oh true, yeah, so true,

204
00:10:30.039 --> 00:10:32.840
<v Speaker 2>especially right right now we're surrounded by my tax paperwork

205
00:10:32.840 --> 00:10:35.120
<v Speaker 2>and I had like a full on stress smell down

206
00:10:35.200 --> 00:10:37.919
<v Speaker 2>being like I'm doing the forms wrong and I was scared.

207
00:10:38.120 --> 00:10:40.799
<v Speaker 5>Yeah yeah, So think about like what we call the

208
00:10:40.840 --> 00:10:44.720
<v Speaker 5>stress response. You are going to have like tightness in

209
00:10:44.759 --> 00:10:47.159
<v Speaker 5>your neck and your lower back. That's your body getting

210
00:10:47.159 --> 00:10:49.919
<v Speaker 5>ready to fight with your arms and getting blood and

211
00:10:50.080 --> 00:10:52.120
<v Speaker 5>energy to like your legs so you can run away.

212
00:10:52.759 --> 00:10:54.759
<v Speaker 5>Getting the shortness of breath and like the tightness in

213
00:10:54.799 --> 00:10:58.639
<v Speaker 5>your chest and getting sweaty, and you know your pupils

214
00:10:58.639 --> 00:11:02.440
<v Speaker 5>dilating and you're body is shutting down non essential systems

215
00:11:02.480 --> 00:11:05.559
<v Speaker 5>like digestion. This is why, you know, depend on what

216
00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:08.000
<v Speaker 5>kind of nerves. We use that word a lot too,

217
00:11:08.240 --> 00:11:10.559
<v Speaker 5>that you're feeling. You get like butterflies in your stomach

218
00:11:10.639 --> 00:11:13.360
<v Speaker 5>or maybe like a little something more serious. I need

219
00:11:13.399 --> 00:11:16.879
<v Speaker 5>to excuse yourself. So all of that is the stress

220
00:11:16.919 --> 00:11:18.320
<v Speaker 5>and response is the fear response.

221
00:11:19.080 --> 00:11:22.679
<v Speaker 2>So having a slightly more gravitational force on you is

222
00:11:22.720 --> 00:11:25.399
<v Speaker 2>a type of physical stress. And so Mary was studying

223
00:11:25.480 --> 00:11:30.559
<v Speaker 2>what would happen to other mammals i e. Humans exploring

224
00:11:30.600 --> 00:11:35.200
<v Speaker 2>space under these conditions. And you know what, for some people,

225
00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:38.159
<v Speaker 2>just being around a bunch of rats on what amounts

226
00:11:38.200 --> 00:11:41.879
<v Speaker 2>to a very expensive carnival ride would be a major

227
00:11:41.919 --> 00:11:44.000
<v Speaker 2>source of stress on its own. But I like to

228
00:11:44.039 --> 00:11:47.080
<v Speaker 2>think that the rats just loved it, that they just

229
00:11:47.120 --> 00:11:50.519
<v Speaker 2>stumbled out, wanting a corn dog and more tokens to

230
00:11:50.600 --> 00:11:54.000
<v Speaker 2>go on again. But aside from rats just having a summer,

231
00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:56.720
<v Speaker 2>what kind of data were they gathering?

232
00:11:57.240 --> 00:12:00.399
<v Speaker 5>But we were looking at can they do the logical

233
00:12:00.399 --> 00:12:03.519
<v Speaker 5>basic functions under stress? But we were just looking at

234
00:12:04.120 --> 00:12:07.240
<v Speaker 5>like the renal system. Can they eat, can they drink?

235
00:12:07.399 --> 00:12:10.000
<v Speaker 5>Can they process urine? Right?

236
00:12:10.440 --> 00:12:12.159
<v Speaker 2>There are things coming in and going out? Did you

237
00:12:12.200 --> 00:12:14.480
<v Speaker 2>find that, just because I have to get this question

238
00:12:14.519 --> 00:12:16.039
<v Speaker 2>answered in hyper gravity?

239
00:12:16.480 --> 00:12:19.120
<v Speaker 5>Were they able to pee and pooh? Yeah, okay, they

240
00:12:19.200 --> 00:12:20.919
<v Speaker 5>just had they had there was like a there's an

241
00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:23.279
<v Speaker 5>uptick in like.

242
00:12:23.440 --> 00:12:25.480
<v Speaker 2>Holy shit's going on. Oh my god, we're a big interviews.

243
00:12:26.000 --> 00:12:27.720
<v Speaker 5>And then when when everything just kind of like was

244
00:12:27.759 --> 00:12:30.759
<v Speaker 5>on lockdown, and then we weren't studying for that, But

245
00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:32.759
<v Speaker 5>if you were testing for that, then you could say

246
00:12:32.799 --> 00:12:34.440
<v Speaker 5>that could have been like they were in the super

247
00:12:34.440 --> 00:12:37.840
<v Speaker 5>fear response. And then when things kind of they got

248
00:12:38.159 --> 00:12:41.039
<v Speaker 5>acclimated to Okay, we're just gonna keep spinning. That's okay,

249
00:12:41.120 --> 00:12:43.399
<v Speaker 5>this is just how it is, then they would returned

250
00:12:43.559 --> 00:12:48.000
<v Speaker 5>to their like normal daily activities of eating and drinking

251
00:12:48.039 --> 00:12:50.759
<v Speaker 5>and going to the bottle and getting you know, some

252
00:12:50.759 --> 00:12:52.799
<v Speaker 5>some water. You know, humans under stress go to a

253
00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:54.919
<v Speaker 5>different kind of bottle experience.

254
00:12:55.600 --> 00:12:58.000
<v Speaker 2>The most scared I've ever been in my life, It's funny.

255
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:00.360
<v Speaker 2>The only reason why I keep peppering you about this is, Yeah,

256
00:13:00.399 --> 00:13:01.799
<v Speaker 2>most scared I've ever been is when I was in

257
00:13:01.840 --> 00:13:05.759
<v Speaker 2>a centrifuge and at a testing facility for where they

258
00:13:05.799 --> 00:13:08.039
<v Speaker 2>were testing and training Air Force powers.

259
00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:08.559
<v Speaker 3>Wow.

260
00:13:08.679 --> 00:13:11.320
<v Speaker 2>And I've been mugged at knife point and that was

261
00:13:11.320 --> 00:13:13.120
<v Speaker 2>one of the scariest things. And being in a centrifugeal

262
00:13:13.159 --> 00:13:14.480
<v Speaker 2>was one of the scariest. So I was like, how

263
00:13:14.480 --> 00:13:17.440
<v Speaker 2>do they do? Like I remember the moment where they

264
00:13:17.519 --> 00:13:19.519
<v Speaker 2>put me in the thing. I was I've never been

265
00:13:19.519 --> 00:13:21.600
<v Speaker 2>so scared of anything, because, like, at least with mugging,

266
00:13:21.600 --> 00:13:23.919
<v Speaker 2>it was like a surprise. I was like, whoa, but

267
00:13:24.399 --> 00:13:26.919
<v Speaker 2>this I was getting in I just was shaking. I

268
00:13:26.919 --> 00:13:29.200
<v Speaker 2>thought I thought I needed a diaper. I was like,

269
00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:30.519
<v Speaker 2>I don't know what's going to come out with end.

270
00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:32.919
<v Speaker 2>So I'm like, I'm I feel like feeling for these rats.

271
00:13:32.919 --> 00:13:34.879
<v Speaker 2>But so that was that was one study you did,

272
00:13:34.919 --> 00:13:36.919
<v Speaker 2>and then you started to kind of that opened up

273
00:13:36.960 --> 00:13:39.919
<v Speaker 2>your mind too. Okay, let's really get into the indy

274
00:13:40.000 --> 00:13:43.519
<v Speaker 2>gritty of the stress, stress response, and fear and and

275
00:13:43.559 --> 00:13:46.679
<v Speaker 2>you're right, we do call it stress when we mean fear. Yeah.

276
00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:50.480
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, we in Western society we have like this stress

277
00:13:50.720 --> 00:13:53.519
<v Speaker 5>badge of courage when you ask someone how they are.

278
00:13:53.480 --> 00:13:55.080
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I'm so stressed. Yeah, and like, oh

279
00:13:55.120 --> 00:13:57.399
<v Speaker 2>my god, me too. There's the kids, and there's the work,

280
00:13:57.480 --> 00:13:58.759
<v Speaker 2>and there's all the things.

281
00:13:59.159 --> 00:14:03.600
<v Speaker 5>And so we we feel confident talking about stress because

282
00:14:03.639 --> 00:14:07.000
<v Speaker 5>we can commiserate. But we don't feel confident talking about

283
00:14:07.120 --> 00:14:11.399
<v Speaker 5>the F word because there's so much shame associated with

284
00:14:11.480 --> 00:14:15.519
<v Speaker 5>fear in our society and we're never taught how to

285
00:14:15.679 --> 00:14:17.480
<v Speaker 5>deal with fear in a healthy way.

286
00:14:17.679 --> 00:14:19.639
<v Speaker 2>I mean I never was. Yeah, that's not a subject

287
00:14:19.639 --> 00:14:20.039
<v Speaker 2>in school.

288
00:14:20.279 --> 00:14:23.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, no, Yeah, it's one of the four basic human

289
00:14:23.240 --> 00:14:25.440
<v Speaker 5>emotions that going to make.

290
00:14:25.519 --> 00:14:27.200
<v Speaker 2>All of the rainbow of colors of all of the

291
00:14:27.240 --> 00:14:33.039
<v Speaker 2>other emotions. Wait one second, there are four basic human emotions?

292
00:14:33.720 --> 00:14:37.080
<v Speaker 2>Just four. I thought there were approximately one billion, and

293
00:14:37.080 --> 00:14:39.919
<v Speaker 2>then several thousand more if you include feelings that only

294
00:14:39.960 --> 00:14:43.440
<v Speaker 2>the French have words for. But nope, just four, say researchers.

295
00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:48.480
<v Speaker 2>There's happy, duh, sad also duh, and then two that

296
00:14:49.200 --> 00:14:52.039
<v Speaker 2>not unlike many LA residents who are like actors and

297
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:55.480
<v Speaker 2>yoga teachers. The other are two emotions that are hybrids.

298
00:14:55.840 --> 00:15:01.759
<v Speaker 2>One is afraid slash surprised and angry slash disgusted. So

299
00:15:01.960 --> 00:15:06.440
<v Speaker 2>right now, this information is either making you feel happy, sad,

300
00:15:06.960 --> 00:15:09.480
<v Speaker 2>affrised or ngrusted.

301
00:15:09.399 --> 00:15:13.919
<v Speaker 5>And fear is not something we talk about in that

302
00:15:14.000 --> 00:15:19.600
<v Speaker 5>way because the messaging we get is be fearless, which

303
00:15:19.639 --> 00:15:22.960
<v Speaker 5>is hella dumb, because that's like saying just don't be thirsty,

304
00:15:23.320 --> 00:15:26.080
<v Speaker 5>I know, or like you just be hungerless.

305
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:30.240
<v Speaker 2>You did, Yeah, you're, I mean you're, we are, we

306
00:15:30.360 --> 00:15:33.000
<v Speaker 2>are the product of you know, as I was talking

307
00:15:33.039 --> 00:15:35.200
<v Speaker 2>to an evolutionary biology, I was like three point seven

308
00:15:35.279 --> 00:15:40.799
<v Speaker 2>years of evolution. I meant three point seven billion, but whatever,

309
00:15:41.320 --> 00:15:43.639
<v Speaker 2>And clearly the ones who could fight and run away

310
00:15:43.639 --> 00:15:46.440
<v Speaker 2>were the ones who survived. So it would be crazy

311
00:15:46.600 --> 00:15:49.399
<v Speaker 2>to be fearless because how would we have maybe this far?

312
00:15:49.559 --> 00:15:50.159
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, we would have.

313
00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:52.799
<v Speaker 2>Been dead if you were like, shit, go ahead and

314
00:15:52.879 --> 00:15:56.240
<v Speaker 2>attack me. That's cool. Like no, So do you think

315
00:15:56.279 --> 00:16:01.480
<v Speaker 2>that when when you first started studying stress and fear,

316
00:16:02.080 --> 00:16:04.480
<v Speaker 2>what was the biggest question you had, Like what did

317
00:16:04.519 --> 00:16:08.399
<v Speaker 2>you find that was lacking in either communication about fear

318
00:16:08.519 --> 00:16:11.120
<v Speaker 2>or just data about fear. I would just like to

319
00:16:11.159 --> 00:16:15.000
<v Speaker 2>point out that as we discussed fears and emergencies, there

320
00:16:15.039 --> 00:16:20.240
<v Speaker 2>happened to be fire trucks and sirens screaming past my apartment,

321
00:16:20.279 --> 00:16:23.399
<v Speaker 2>which was an unintended audio bonus, just to make sure

322
00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:26.159
<v Speaker 2>that our fear responses were working. So yeah, Yeah, it's

323
00:16:26.159 --> 00:16:28.559
<v Speaker 2>work fine. It's a working fine. Thanks Frank, calm your tits.

324
00:16:29.240 --> 00:16:32.840
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I think that for me, I initially started studying

325
00:16:32.840 --> 00:16:37.000
<v Speaker 5>fear in just a more hobby way because I was

326
00:16:37.039 --> 00:16:40.000
<v Speaker 5>interested in it, and as an academic for my entire

327
00:16:40.159 --> 00:16:43.120
<v Speaker 5>professional career, it's been one of those things that I'm

328
00:16:43.159 --> 00:16:45.000
<v Speaker 5>just a big nerd and like hmm, like I just

329
00:16:45.039 --> 00:16:47.200
<v Speaker 5>you know, was absorbing all these things because it was

330
00:16:47.200 --> 00:16:50.840
<v Speaker 5>fascinating to me. And through that initial search, I was

331
00:16:50.879 --> 00:16:57.000
<v Speaker 5>really finding either like clinical or pathological studies on fear

332
00:16:57.559 --> 00:17:00.000
<v Speaker 5>that were about people that were more of the outline,

333
00:17:00.320 --> 00:17:03.720
<v Speaker 5>that were dealing with mental health issues in a professional setting,

334
00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:08.039
<v Speaker 5>that were having very extreme phobias or you know, really

335
00:17:08.079 --> 00:17:12.519
<v Speaker 5>extreme anxiety that was negatively impacting their life. And I

336
00:17:12.559 --> 00:17:14.440
<v Speaker 5>was like, well, I don't fit in that category because

337
00:17:14.519 --> 00:17:16.839
<v Speaker 5>I'm just it's everyday fears of how, you know, how

338
00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:20.440
<v Speaker 5>do I not freak out about this presentation or you know,

339
00:17:20.480 --> 00:17:22.240
<v Speaker 5>how do I go say what up to that Q guy?

340
00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:24.640
<v Speaker 5>Like this is I don't need to go and have

341
00:17:24.920 --> 00:17:28.599
<v Speaker 5>a clinical this is just normal stuff. And I didn't

342
00:17:28.599 --> 00:17:32.160
<v Speaker 5>really see a lot of research in that area. And

343
00:17:32.200 --> 00:17:35.880
<v Speaker 5>then in terms of what was happening with people that

344
00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:39.160
<v Speaker 5>were communicating because part of my degrees are in science,

345
00:17:39.160 --> 00:17:44.880
<v Speaker 5>communication and biology, and the people that were communicating about

346
00:17:45.079 --> 00:17:48.519
<v Speaker 5>fear were either people that were bringing a lot of

347
00:17:48.599 --> 00:17:53.160
<v Speaker 5>like pseudoscience level of it to it or.

348
00:17:54.119 --> 00:17:56.039
<v Speaker 2>People that really did extreme stuff.

349
00:17:56.400 --> 00:17:59.720
<v Speaker 5>So like, yeah, bro, I call him Mount Everest and

350
00:17:59.759 --> 00:18:01.440
<v Speaker 5>it was like super dope, and I'm here to like

351
00:18:01.480 --> 00:18:04.119
<v Speaker 5>teach you how to like fight through the fear and

352
00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:07.640
<v Speaker 5>also climb Mount Everest. I'm like, I'm never I hate

353
00:18:07.680 --> 00:18:10.039
<v Speaker 5>the cold. I'm literally never going to climb Mount Everest

354
00:18:10.880 --> 00:18:14.920
<v Speaker 5>or former Navy seals and fighter pilots and just being badasses.

355
00:18:15.079 --> 00:18:19.039
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, that's cool. There's nothing that I can I

356
00:18:19.039 --> 00:18:23.880
<v Speaker 5>can use there not applicable. Yeah, exactly right. And one

357
00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:26.160
<v Speaker 5>of the things that really got me interested in not

358
00:18:26.240 --> 00:18:30.279
<v Speaker 5>only studying it but trying to create a framework that

359
00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:33.440
<v Speaker 5>people could take the research that has been done and

360
00:18:33.559 --> 00:18:36.359
<v Speaker 5>apply it to their daily lives is you have to

361
00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:38.319
<v Speaker 5>make it simple. And that's kind of my my jam

362
00:18:38.359 --> 00:18:42.279
<v Speaker 5>with fears. I do original research, but I also am

363
00:18:42.319 --> 00:18:46.160
<v Speaker 5>coming through the research and trying to create like strategies

364
00:18:46.200 --> 00:18:48.279
<v Speaker 5>for people that are easy to remember, easy to use,

365
00:18:48.279 --> 00:18:51.519
<v Speaker 5>that help them understand their own bodies and then apply

366
00:18:51.680 --> 00:18:55.079
<v Speaker 5>that so they can not be so afraid of all

367
00:18:55.119 --> 00:18:55.559
<v Speaker 5>the things.

368
00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:59.880
<v Speaker 2>Quick question, so what are Americans' biggest fears? Well that

369
00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:03.640
<v Speaker 2>it actually depends on what year you ask. So in

370
00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:07.240
<v Speaker 2>twenty fourteen, Chapman University put out a list of americans

371
00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:10.400
<v Speaker 2>big old fears. There are the usual suspects like public

372
00:19:10.440 --> 00:19:13.839
<v Speaker 2>speaking was number one, then heights and bugs and snakes

373
00:19:13.880 --> 00:19:17.839
<v Speaker 2>and drowning, and then blood and needles. They usual. It's

374
00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:20.079
<v Speaker 2>like a menu of scary stuff at a chain restaurant

375
00:19:20.119 --> 00:19:23.599
<v Speaker 2>you've been to a dozen times. Familiar. But according to

376
00:19:23.680 --> 00:19:27.400
<v Speaker 2>the same source, the new biggest fears of Americans are

377
00:19:28.279 --> 00:19:34.680
<v Speaker 2>number one, corrupt government officials, the American Healthcare Act, pollution,

378
00:19:35.160 --> 00:19:37.920
<v Speaker 2>and being involved in a nuclear war with North Korea.

379
00:19:38.559 --> 00:19:41.319
<v Speaker 2>So never have I been so nostalgic for just some

380
00:19:41.480 --> 00:19:45.200
<v Speaker 2>simple old American drowning fears. But a fun thing to

381
00:19:45.240 --> 00:19:47.599
<v Speaker 2>do is sit down, make a list of the things

382
00:19:47.599 --> 00:19:50.480
<v Speaker 2>that scare you, and then say, hey, scary thing, I

383
00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:53.319
<v Speaker 2>see you, And then maybe what can I actually do

384
00:19:53.400 --> 00:19:55.440
<v Speaker 2>about some of this stuff? Maybe not all of your

385
00:19:55.440 --> 00:19:59.400
<v Speaker 2>fears are big, huge environmental or governmental ones. You know,

386
00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:01.680
<v Speaker 2>I did this one and I realized that driving a

387
00:20:01.799 --> 00:20:04.960
<v Speaker 2>Miata with a terrible blind spot on the highway was

388
00:20:05.119 --> 00:20:08.559
<v Speaker 2>a consistent source of panic. And so I saw that thing,

389
00:20:08.599 --> 00:20:10.799
<v Speaker 2>I got a station wagon. I never looked back. So

390
00:20:10.920 --> 00:20:11.519
<v Speaker 2>that's one thing.

391
00:20:11.440 --> 00:20:11.799
<v Speaker 4>You can do.

392
00:20:12.920 --> 00:20:15.079
<v Speaker 5>Not that they're gonna get like there's no cure for fear,

393
00:20:15.160 --> 00:20:17.680
<v Speaker 5>not to get rid of the fear, but like change

394
00:20:17.680 --> 00:20:21.440
<v Speaker 5>that relationship and change that story around their fears so

395
00:20:22.119 --> 00:20:24.160
<v Speaker 5>they can start living a.

396
00:20:24.079 --> 00:20:29.400
<v Speaker 2>Better life with fear now with and in fear. So

397
00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:34.440
<v Speaker 2>what is fear and what is stress? They are the

398
00:20:34.480 --> 00:20:37.960
<v Speaker 2>same thing. But what's happening? I know that the basics

399
00:20:38.039 --> 00:20:42.200
<v Speaker 2>I know of O like the HPA axis, like hypopituitary adrenal,

400
00:20:42.240 --> 00:20:44.680
<v Speaker 2>there's something going on hormonally, But what is happening? Like

401
00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:47.559
<v Speaker 2>what is my Why is my body jacking me so

402
00:20:47.680 --> 00:20:49.079
<v Speaker 2>hard all the time?

403
00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:49.359
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

404
00:20:49.480 --> 00:20:49.720
<v Speaker 2>Right?

405
00:20:50.480 --> 00:20:56.359
<v Speaker 5>And and that's a complex like big messy ball. And

406
00:20:56.400 --> 00:20:59.200
<v Speaker 5>this is why, you know, the study of fear is

407
00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:03.039
<v Speaker 5>so messy. So I'm gonna answer that question by like

408
00:21:03.079 --> 00:21:06.240
<v Speaker 5>pulling out just a little bit of there's no like

409
00:21:06.400 --> 00:21:11.039
<v Speaker 5>discipline in any academic institution around fear. Fear time sometimes

410
00:21:11.160 --> 00:21:15.440
<v Speaker 5>is looked at in the psychological genre. Sometimes it can

411
00:21:15.480 --> 00:21:19.400
<v Speaker 5>be in sociology. Sometimes it's in biology. There's also in

412
00:21:19.599 --> 00:21:24.480
<v Speaker 5>marketing and communications literature this idea called fear appeals, which

413
00:21:24.519 --> 00:21:28.119
<v Speaker 5>is a way to communicate a powerful persuasion tool that

414
00:21:28.279 --> 00:21:32.119
<v Speaker 5>we have over used and now everyone's freaking out because

415
00:21:32.119 --> 00:21:34.359
<v Speaker 5>we have trained people to be scared all the time.

416
00:21:34.720 --> 00:21:37.759
<v Speaker 2>Okay, side note. I looked up this term fear appeals,

417
00:21:37.799 --> 00:21:41.960
<v Speaker 2>and y'all, it is a whole thing. Oh boy. Anytime

418
00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:45.720
<v Speaker 2>a commercial or like a news network makes you feel

419
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:48.720
<v Speaker 2>like you are about to die, they're pretty much using

420
00:21:49.079 --> 00:21:53.160
<v Speaker 2>fear appeals. So yes, sex cells, but SODA's Oh my god,

421
00:21:53.200 --> 00:21:55.440
<v Speaker 2>you're in a lot of peril. Oops, I took your money.

422
00:21:55.880 --> 00:21:58.200
<v Speaker 2>So one could be a cheesemonger, one could be a

423
00:21:58.240 --> 00:22:01.920
<v Speaker 2>phish monger, but fear mong is a little less smelly

424
00:22:02.119 --> 00:22:03.440
<v Speaker 2>and it might make you more money.

425
00:22:04.200 --> 00:22:07.039
<v Speaker 5>So you find these in like so many disciplines that

426
00:22:07.079 --> 00:22:09.599
<v Speaker 5>they don't fit in one discipline, which is not necessarily

427
00:22:09.680 --> 00:22:13.680
<v Speaker 5>surprising because fear is such a base unit of our lives,

428
00:22:13.720 --> 00:22:16.119
<v Speaker 5>so it's not going to fit neatly into anywhere. When

429
00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:18.640
<v Speaker 5>you're talking about like the physiology, the way that I

430
00:22:19.319 --> 00:22:22.519
<v Speaker 5>like to explain it is if you're looking at the

431
00:22:22.559 --> 00:22:25.960
<v Speaker 5>brain right and kind of like a simple like condition

432
00:22:26.000 --> 00:22:28.079
<v Speaker 5>of the brain kind of separating into three big parts.

433
00:22:28.319 --> 00:22:29.759
<v Speaker 5>So you have your hind brain that's going to be

434
00:22:29.759 --> 00:22:32.559
<v Speaker 5>in the back. That's going to be the most basic

435
00:22:32.599 --> 00:22:36.319
<v Speaker 5>of functions. Some people have likened it to the reptilian

436
00:22:36.359 --> 00:22:39.240
<v Speaker 5>brain that I'm sure that you've heard, because it's similar

437
00:22:39.319 --> 00:22:43.960
<v Speaker 5>to other reptiles. So if we're looking in the kingdom

438
00:22:44.119 --> 00:22:47.759
<v Speaker 5>of live kingdom aunt amalia, we have our vertebrates. We're

439
00:22:47.799 --> 00:22:51.640
<v Speaker 5>not that closely related to reptiles, but we're going to

440
00:22:51.680 --> 00:22:54.559
<v Speaker 5>all be vertebrates. And then you have kind of in

441
00:22:54.599 --> 00:22:58.160
<v Speaker 5>the center of our brain, right around the mid brain,

442
00:22:58.200 --> 00:23:01.720
<v Speaker 5>you're going to have the UI guy limbic systems center.

443
00:23:02.000 --> 00:23:04.880
<v Speaker 2>Right this is where the emotional magic happens. Oh, it's

444
00:23:04.880 --> 00:23:06.839
<v Speaker 2>like a truffle. Yeah, it is like a truffle.

445
00:23:06.920 --> 00:23:09.400
<v Speaker 5>It's all gooy in the center you're like no, no, no,

446
00:23:09.960 --> 00:23:11.279
<v Speaker 5>And there you're going.

447
00:23:11.200 --> 00:23:12.839
<v Speaker 2>To find the amygdala.

448
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:14.759
<v Speaker 5>So the migdala is going to be kind of like

449
00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:17.680
<v Speaker 5>the size of your thumbnail, but shaped like an almond,

450
00:23:18.079 --> 00:23:20.119
<v Speaker 5>and it's going to be on both sides. If you're

451
00:23:20.119 --> 00:23:22.519
<v Speaker 5>to cut your brain in half and you have one

452
00:23:22.519 --> 00:23:25.240
<v Speaker 5>on each side, okay, and they're really small, but that

453
00:23:25.759 --> 00:23:28.279
<v Speaker 5>is kind of the powerhouse of the fear response.

454
00:23:28.440 --> 00:23:29.799
<v Speaker 2>That's going to be the control center.

455
00:23:30.200 --> 00:23:34.119
<v Speaker 5>So when our body is going to perceive a stressor,

456
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:36.920
<v Speaker 5>So we talked about like you know, stress versus fear,

457
00:23:37.480 --> 00:23:40.240
<v Speaker 5>you can really start to look at it as stress

458
00:23:40.319 --> 00:23:42.400
<v Speaker 5>is going to be a physiological response that your body's

459
00:23:42.440 --> 00:23:46.000
<v Speaker 5>having to a stressor, and that stressor is going to

460
00:23:46.000 --> 00:23:47.000
<v Speaker 5>be the outside thing.

461
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:47.480
<v Speaker 2>The trigger.

462
00:23:49.039 --> 00:23:52.839
<v Speaker 5>Stressors are generally never in our control, but our stress

463
00:23:52.920 --> 00:23:53.799
<v Speaker 5>response is.

464
00:23:54.119 --> 00:23:54.559
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

465
00:23:54.680 --> 00:23:56.720
<v Speaker 5>So let's go back to the story that you said

466
00:23:56.799 --> 00:23:59.759
<v Speaker 5>about getting mugged at knife point.

467
00:23:59.799 --> 00:24:00.000
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

468
00:24:00.240 --> 00:24:04.440
<v Speaker 5>Right, So the stressor is going to be the mugger

469
00:24:04.920 --> 00:24:06.839
<v Speaker 5>with the knife threatening your life.

470
00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:10.160
<v Speaker 2>And there were two of them, one for each side

471
00:24:10.160 --> 00:24:10.440
<v Speaker 2>of my.

472
00:24:12.039 --> 00:24:14.079
<v Speaker 5>That's nice they thought about you. They're like, you know,

473
00:24:14.079 --> 00:24:16.279
<v Speaker 5>we're gonna we're gonna tag team. I mean, you obviously

474
00:24:16.319 --> 00:24:18.720
<v Speaker 5>are very ferocious opponents.

475
00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:23.680
<v Speaker 2>You're like, we're gonna need backup boys in that.

476
00:24:23.799 --> 00:24:28.319
<v Speaker 5>In that moment, your central nervous system is what is

477
00:24:28.319 --> 00:24:31.240
<v Speaker 5>allowing you to interact with your internal and your external environment.

478
00:24:31.559 --> 00:24:34.880
<v Speaker 5>So your senses, your eyes, your ears are picking up

479
00:24:35.160 --> 00:24:37.680
<v Speaker 5>a threat. So that's gonna be the stressor. You have

480
00:24:37.720 --> 00:24:41.160
<v Speaker 5>no control over that stressor. But their stress response is

481
00:24:41.160 --> 00:24:44.359
<v Speaker 5>what's happening inside your body and you're you know, amigdala

482
00:24:44.480 --> 00:24:46.799
<v Speaker 5>is kind of like hitting the panic button, being like okay,

483
00:24:47.160 --> 00:24:47.680
<v Speaker 5>we need to.

484
00:24:47.720 --> 00:24:50.160
<v Speaker 2>We's go time. And then at that point it's.

485
00:24:50.000 --> 00:24:55.359
<v Speaker 5>Going to create a kind of like cascading effect through

486
00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:59.319
<v Speaker 5>your hypothalamus and thalamus and getting everything ready for your

487
00:24:59.319 --> 00:25:02.799
<v Speaker 5>body in this particular point to do the fight or fly.

488
00:25:03.279 --> 00:25:07.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, so little recap. This whole shebang is part of

489
00:25:07.039 --> 00:25:11.359
<v Speaker 2>your limbic system, and once again the little almondy amygdala

490
00:25:11.799 --> 00:25:16.039
<v Speaker 2>deep within your brain receives info. This says ha, no,

491
00:25:16.720 --> 00:25:21.319
<v Speaker 2>well no, I'm paraphrasing, and it chemically pokes your thalmus,

492
00:25:21.680 --> 00:25:24.519
<v Speaker 2>which sends other signals to the brain to just release

493
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:30.079
<v Speaker 2>a floodgate of adrenaline and cortisol in preparation to either

494
00:25:30.400 --> 00:25:35.359
<v Speaker 2>engage in fisticuffs or get the fuck out asap. Okay,

495
00:25:35.440 --> 00:25:39.720
<v Speaker 2>So this next thing she says changed my whole life. Okay,

496
00:25:39.759 --> 00:25:42.160
<v Speaker 2>get ready for it? Are you ready for it? Get

497
00:25:42.160 --> 00:25:42.599
<v Speaker 2>ready for it?

498
00:25:44.759 --> 00:25:46.000
<v Speaker 5>And I think this is a good time to kind

499
00:25:46.000 --> 00:25:49.839
<v Speaker 5>of also separate. When we look at fear, we have

500
00:25:50.000 --> 00:25:53.480
<v Speaker 5>kind of like two major types of fear, what I

501
00:25:53.640 --> 00:25:58.680
<v Speaker 5>call factual fear, versus fictional fear. Oh so since we're

502
00:25:58.720 --> 00:26:00.920
<v Speaker 5>on this example, like, factual fear is going to be

503
00:26:01.319 --> 00:26:04.079
<v Speaker 5>actual threats to your life that are happening in a

504
00:26:04.119 --> 00:26:07.440
<v Speaker 5>shared reality right now that your body is responding to.

505
00:26:07.960 --> 00:26:11.599
<v Speaker 5>So you getting mugged at knife point was hell, yeah,

506
00:26:11.759 --> 00:26:14.960
<v Speaker 5>actual fear, Like shit is going down. It is time

507
00:26:15.400 --> 00:26:20.240
<v Speaker 5>to put all systems into fight or flight, and that

508
00:26:20.279 --> 00:26:21.839
<v Speaker 5>means at that time, your body.

509
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:23.240
<v Speaker 2>Is shutting down non essential systems.

510
00:26:23.319 --> 00:26:26.319
<v Speaker 5>So cellular regeneration not taking that offline, don't need it,

511
00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:30.359
<v Speaker 5>digestion like we're just we're not gonna worry about that, libido,

512
00:26:30.640 --> 00:26:32.359
<v Speaker 5>don't need to be word about sex of time right now,

513
00:26:32.480 --> 00:26:34.680
<v Speaker 5>just trying to get out of here, live, And then

514
00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:37.759
<v Speaker 5>that means that other resources can be put to your skin.

515
00:26:37.799 --> 00:26:39.400
<v Speaker 5>This is why you can either break out in cold

516
00:26:39.440 --> 00:26:41.359
<v Speaker 5>sweat or get hot, because your blood is flowing to

517
00:26:41.400 --> 00:26:43.480
<v Speaker 5>your muscles so that your muscles will have the energy

518
00:26:43.960 --> 00:26:47.519
<v Speaker 5>to do what it needs to do to survive. There's

519
00:26:47.519 --> 00:26:50.559
<v Speaker 5>also a and that's all the stress response. There's also

520
00:26:50.640 --> 00:26:53.079
<v Speaker 5>going to be the other side of that, which is

521
00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:56.559
<v Speaker 5>fictional fear. Just like a good fictional book might have

522
00:26:56.599 --> 00:26:58.920
<v Speaker 5>a nugget of truth in it, but most of it

523
00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:02.920
<v Speaker 5>is just made up, so with fictional fear, that is

524
00:27:03.160 --> 00:27:05.680
<v Speaker 5>the everyday fears, and that's the fears that I really

525
00:27:05.680 --> 00:27:09.480
<v Speaker 5>focus on of how we can change our story with

526
00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:13.119
<v Speaker 5>our fictional fears so that they aren't like firing up

527
00:27:13.160 --> 00:27:15.400
<v Speaker 5>theymgdala so much, and then we're not going into this

528
00:27:15.440 --> 00:27:20.240
<v Speaker 5>full stress response because in modern times, our body isn't

529
00:27:20.279 --> 00:27:23.920
<v Speaker 5>really good like our MiG diligious seds stressor right, it's

530
00:27:24.000 --> 00:27:26.839
<v Speaker 5>up to us to control how that is perceived. Because

531
00:27:26.839 --> 00:27:30.279
<v Speaker 5>if we are constantly in hyperdrive with our migdligious keep

532
00:27:30.359 --> 00:27:35.240
<v Speaker 5>sending signals of danger, danger, danger when it's not necessarily dangerous,

533
00:27:35.279 --> 00:27:38.480
<v Speaker 5>like you could just be annoying, or you know, maybe

534
00:27:38.480 --> 00:27:40.799
<v Speaker 5>it's a it's a good stressor like it's an opportunity.

535
00:27:41.640 --> 00:27:43.839
<v Speaker 5>If we don't start to discern that for ourselves and

536
00:27:43.880 --> 00:27:48.480
<v Speaker 5>we constantly are just redlining the stress response, then that's

537
00:27:48.519 --> 00:27:51.640
<v Speaker 5>why we're seeing this increase in all of these other

538
00:27:51.799 --> 00:27:54.720
<v Speaker 5>issues in our body that usually would be taken care of,

539
00:27:55.079 --> 00:28:00.240
<v Speaker 5>so like you know, like like the celluar regeneration. Right, Actually,

540
00:28:00.279 --> 00:28:01.839
<v Speaker 5>when we go to sleep at night, that's our time

541
00:28:01.880 --> 00:28:03.720
<v Speaker 5>for our bodies to be like, Okay, we're gonna do

542
00:28:03.799 --> 00:28:06.279
<v Speaker 5>some maintenance. We're gonna get rid of themselves. We're gonna

543
00:28:06.319 --> 00:28:09.319
<v Speaker 5>make some new ones, do all the things. If we're

544
00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:12.119
<v Speaker 5>constantly in the stress response, if it's constantly go time

545
00:28:12.279 --> 00:28:14.559
<v Speaker 5>our bodies like, nope, Nope, not even dealing with that.

546
00:28:15.200 --> 00:28:18.720
<v Speaker 2>Wow. And and cancer is a disease of the cell cycle.

547
00:28:19.119 --> 00:28:24.039
<v Speaker 2>That this is mind blowing. This is blowing all of

548
00:28:24.039 --> 00:28:30.759
<v Speaker 2>my AMINGNOLA areas. So we we are keeping ourselves partly

549
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:35.599
<v Speaker 2>in a state of heightened fear. Yeah, when we don't

550
00:28:35.640 --> 00:28:35.960
<v Speaker 2>need to.

551
00:28:36.200 --> 00:28:41.720
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, absolutely, Why because no one teaches us how to

552
00:28:41.799 --> 00:28:42.119
<v Speaker 5>not to.

553
00:28:42.559 --> 00:28:43.680
<v Speaker 2>Isn't it frustrating?

554
00:28:43.799 --> 00:28:47.880
<v Speaker 5>Yes, so many years of like being scared, we didn't

555
00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:51.920
<v Speaker 5>have to. Oh yeah, And that's that's my jam of

556
00:28:51.960 --> 00:28:54.599
<v Speaker 5>because I'm I'm still that person, by the way, Like

557
00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:58.359
<v Speaker 5>I'm I continue to apply the things and do the

558
00:28:58.519 --> 00:29:00.759
<v Speaker 5>you know, walk the walk of of what I teach

559
00:29:00.799 --> 00:29:01.559
<v Speaker 5>in what I study.

560
00:29:02.000 --> 00:29:04.480
<v Speaker 2>But it doesn't mean fear is gone.

561
00:29:04.680 --> 00:29:07.480
<v Speaker 5>It's just I got super tired of living in a

562
00:29:07.480 --> 00:29:11.119
<v Speaker 5>really tiny box and knew that.

563
00:29:11.000 --> 00:29:13.519
<v Speaker 2>There was a life beyond the provincial town.

564
00:29:14.359 --> 00:29:16.359
<v Speaker 5>But in order to get to that life, I needed

565
00:29:16.359 --> 00:29:18.759
<v Speaker 5>to hand them off your business. Yeah, because no, like

566
00:29:18.839 --> 00:29:19.839
<v Speaker 5>no one's gonna handle it for me.

567
00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:24.160
<v Speaker 2>So sadly, Mary's mom passed away, and looking back on

568
00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:28.079
<v Speaker 2>her life and how controlled by fear she was, Mary

569
00:29:28.119 --> 00:29:30.200
<v Speaker 2>decided to face a lot of her own fears and

570
00:29:30.319 --> 00:29:33.000
<v Speaker 2>just take some dang risks. So she was in a

571
00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:36.720
<v Speaker 2>relationship that hadn't been working for years, and she really

572
00:29:36.759 --> 00:29:38.839
<v Speaker 2>longed to get out of the small town that she

573
00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:41.519
<v Speaker 2>was from. And it is here that I will refrain

574
00:29:41.599 --> 00:29:45.279
<v Speaker 2>from crooning just a small town girl living in her

575
00:29:45.359 --> 00:29:49.000
<v Speaker 2>lonely world. But don't stop believing that I really want

576
00:29:49.039 --> 00:29:51.799
<v Speaker 2>to Anyway, she went on a journey.

577
00:29:55.079 --> 00:29:59.279
<v Speaker 5>Fast forward a year of like branching out of my

578
00:29:59.519 --> 00:30:02.240
<v Speaker 5>original friend group, meeting people that had all these like

579
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:07.359
<v Speaker 5>crazy stories of like international travel and adventure, and me

580
00:30:07.599 --> 00:30:11.599
<v Speaker 5>making the decision that I want this new life and

581
00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:13.039
<v Speaker 5>in order to do that, I'm gonna have to make

582
00:30:13.079 --> 00:30:18.440
<v Speaker 5>some pretty radical changes within that year. Because no too

583
00:30:18.480 --> 00:30:20.839
<v Speaker 5>off topic of science, but you know, like the you know,

584
00:30:20.880 --> 00:30:22.920
<v Speaker 5>our long term relationship at that point, when like twelve

585
00:30:23.000 --> 00:30:26.079
<v Speaker 5>years wasn't going well, so we decided to get married.

586
00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:29.400
<v Speaker 5>Because just like having a baby in when you're struggling

587
00:30:29.440 --> 00:30:31.599
<v Speaker 5>in your relationship is the best idea ever, it's not

588
00:30:32.200 --> 00:30:33.640
<v Speaker 5>it's not the best idea ever.

589
00:30:34.240 --> 00:30:35.240
<v Speaker 2>So clearly that didn't works.

590
00:30:35.279 --> 00:30:39.160
<v Speaker 5>So and I was like, okay, I just I'm gonna

591
00:30:39.160 --> 00:30:43.279
<v Speaker 5>I'm gonna completely change my life and ended that relationship.

592
00:30:43.799 --> 00:30:48.200
<v Speaker 5>Uh you know, started this whole like new just was

593
00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:52.400
<v Speaker 5>traveling and when whenever I had the opportunity with with

594
00:30:52.519 --> 00:30:56.440
<v Speaker 5>breaks from teaching at the university, then I would just

595
00:30:56.480 --> 00:31:00.680
<v Speaker 5>travel by myself and freaked out most of the time

596
00:31:00.960 --> 00:31:02.759
<v Speaker 5>because you know, I want I wanted to travel, but

597
00:31:03.480 --> 00:31:05.799
<v Speaker 5>my friends had normal jobs so they couldn't just take

598
00:31:05.839 --> 00:31:08.880
<v Speaker 5>off for like a month, and so you know, went

599
00:31:08.920 --> 00:31:12.400
<v Speaker 5>to Costa Rica, got stuck in a cyclone in Croatia,

600
00:31:13.319 --> 00:31:17.279
<v Speaker 5>you know, went to the markets of Marrakesh, and you know,

601
00:31:17.319 --> 00:31:19.480
<v Speaker 5>and most of the time being like what am I doing?

602
00:31:20.039 --> 00:31:21.000
<v Speaker 2>What am I doing?

603
00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:27.519
<v Speaker 5>Totally freaking out, but but also discovering that, you know,

604
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:29.440
<v Speaker 5>I want to die with good stories.

605
00:31:29.960 --> 00:31:31.519
<v Speaker 2>Oh right, like I'm.

606
00:31:31.359 --> 00:31:34.519
<v Speaker 5>Going to get that tattooed or my stomach, right, Yeah,

607
00:31:34.920 --> 00:31:37.400
<v Speaker 5>I want to die with really good stories. And in

608
00:31:37.480 --> 00:31:41.839
<v Speaker 5>order to do that, I needed to leave my hometown.

609
00:31:42.039 --> 00:31:43.119
<v Speaker 2>And so that's what I did.

610
00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:47.240
<v Speaker 5>And it just became kind of a game of feeling

611
00:31:47.240 --> 00:31:49.160
<v Speaker 5>the fear and doing it anyway. And it's no wonder

612
00:31:49.160 --> 00:31:53.039
<v Speaker 5>that we constantly stay in this loop of being afraid

613
00:31:53.079 --> 00:31:56.559
<v Speaker 5>to do anything, because even if we have an idea,

614
00:31:57.000 --> 00:31:58.119
<v Speaker 5>the people in our life.

615
00:31:58.039 --> 00:32:00.519
<v Speaker 2>Out of out of love, were like, you should know that,

616
00:32:00.519 --> 00:32:05.000
<v Speaker 2>because you're gonna die. Well, is fear contagious? In in mammals,

617
00:32:05.079 --> 00:32:10.720
<v Speaker 2>in social creatures, is fear contagious? Yeah, So we when

618
00:32:10.720 --> 00:32:11.680
<v Speaker 2>we're in fear, we.

619
00:32:11.599 --> 00:32:15.400
<v Speaker 5>Actually give off almost kind of like a pheromone as

620
00:32:15.440 --> 00:32:20.559
<v Speaker 5>well as like really delicate visual cues. Okay, and this

621
00:32:20.680 --> 00:32:22.720
<v Speaker 5>is why have you seen like someone talk for the

622
00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:25.759
<v Speaker 5>first time or they're really nervous and it is uncomfortable

623
00:32:25.799 --> 00:32:26.119
<v Speaker 5>to watch?

624
00:32:26.160 --> 00:32:28.920
<v Speaker 2>There are some ted talks where you can you can

625
00:32:28.960 --> 00:32:32.640
<v Speaker 2>hear how dry their mouth is. Yeah, and you're like, oh,

626
00:32:32.680 --> 00:32:35.079
<v Speaker 2>you just relax, that's fine. Although I knew if I

627
00:32:35.119 --> 00:32:37.119
<v Speaker 2>were up there, I would be crying blood. I don't

628
00:32:37.160 --> 00:32:41.119
<v Speaker 2>know what would be happening, you know. Yeah, it's and

629
00:32:41.359 --> 00:32:42.880
<v Speaker 2>it's that it's that visceral reaction.

630
00:32:43.599 --> 00:32:46.559
<v Speaker 5>For as as mammals, we want to run away from

631
00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:50.640
<v Speaker 5>people that are in a big like fearful anxiety state

632
00:32:51.319 --> 00:32:54.680
<v Speaker 5>because that generally means danger, like life threatening danger.

633
00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:57.279
<v Speaker 2>So they're like, okay, well, we're I'm not here. Yeah,

634
00:32:57.279 --> 00:32:59.519
<v Speaker 2>you seem like the danger zones. I'm gonna go. I

635
00:32:59.559 --> 00:33:05.759
<v Speaker 2>think some times also we're conditioned to think if I

636
00:33:05.799 --> 00:33:09.720
<v Speaker 2>remain in an anxiety cycle, if I remain seeming scared

637
00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:12.400
<v Speaker 2>or fragile, then I will get care from other people.

638
00:33:13.000 --> 00:33:17.200
<v Speaker 2>But it's funny that that's actually probably in a really

639
00:33:17.799 --> 00:33:20.519
<v Speaker 2>subtle biological way, driving people away from you.

640
00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:24.880
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, And it's and it's a delicate balance because one

641
00:33:24.920 --> 00:33:28.519
<v Speaker 5>of the like so we've seen this in primate studies

642
00:33:28.559 --> 00:33:33.920
<v Speaker 5>as well, that when we have fear, we will reach out,

643
00:33:33.920 --> 00:33:36.400
<v Speaker 5>like young kids and primates we see it the most

644
00:33:36.440 --> 00:33:40.759
<v Speaker 5>in will reach out for like physical like connection or

645
00:33:40.799 --> 00:33:43.480
<v Speaker 5>some kind of connection. And that's the best way to

646
00:33:43.559 --> 00:33:45.839
<v Speaker 5>kind of calm your fears is to reach out and

647
00:33:45.880 --> 00:33:48.720
<v Speaker 5>get connection, to ask for connection and receive that support.

648
00:33:49.400 --> 00:33:52.759
<v Speaker 5>As adults in Western society, we've had that trained out

649
00:33:52.799 --> 00:33:55.960
<v Speaker 5>of us. We've been socialized to say, especially in America,

650
00:33:56.440 --> 00:33:59.240
<v Speaker 5>stand on your own, pick yourself up by your boot straps.

651
00:33:59.519 --> 00:34:04.160
<v Speaker 5>You know, we're so individualized that we are like afraid

652
00:34:04.160 --> 00:34:07.079
<v Speaker 5>of reaching out and be rejected of that support. It's

653
00:34:07.400 --> 00:34:10.920
<v Speaker 5>it's something that is so ingrained that we were having

654
00:34:10.920 --> 00:34:15.039
<v Speaker 5>to fight our natural instincts because like primates and children, right, like,

655
00:34:15.079 --> 00:34:17.400
<v Speaker 5>when what happens when like a little kid is scared,

656
00:34:17.679 --> 00:34:19.800
<v Speaker 5>They're going to run for their safety person, Yeah, you know,

657
00:34:19.840 --> 00:34:22.000
<v Speaker 5>whether it's mom or dad or whatever, and they want

658
00:34:22.000 --> 00:34:24.480
<v Speaker 5>that connection there, that's their their safe spot.

659
00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:28.679
<v Speaker 2>As adults, we just internalize it and then maybe like

660
00:34:29.119 --> 00:34:29.599
<v Speaker 2>numb it.

661
00:34:29.719 --> 00:34:32.800
<v Speaker 5>With drugs and alcohol or sex or porn, and then

662
00:34:32.840 --> 00:34:35.679
<v Speaker 5>we we just pretend like it's not there, right, and

663
00:34:35.719 --> 00:34:39.519
<v Speaker 5>it's it's totally affecting our entire society.

664
00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:44.239
<v Speaker 2>Well, what percentage of our fears would you say that

665
00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:47.840
<v Speaker 2>we feel would you say are factual? And how how

666
00:34:47.920 --> 00:34:51.280
<v Speaker 2>much are fictional? And also the way that we consume media,

667
00:34:52.239 --> 00:34:57.280
<v Speaker 2>either whether it's like presidential Twitter rants or or you know,

668
00:34:57.559 --> 00:35:00.679
<v Speaker 2>documentaries about cults or whatever. Like we I feel like

669
00:35:01.239 --> 00:35:04.360
<v Speaker 2>we're kind of stimulating that a lot, right, Yeah, what's

670
00:35:04.400 --> 00:35:05.039
<v Speaker 2>going on there?

671
00:35:05.519 --> 00:35:08.400
<v Speaker 5>So you know, as a as a scientist, I'm always

672
00:35:08.400 --> 00:35:11.719
<v Speaker 5>hesitant to just make up percentages, right because like ninety

673
00:35:11.760 --> 00:35:18.559
<v Speaker 5>eight percent of statistics are made up. But I would say,

674
00:35:19.599 --> 00:35:22.719
<v Speaker 5>and it's going to be very specific to where you're living. Right,

675
00:35:24.519 --> 00:35:29.280
<v Speaker 5>if you are an American and living in LA and

676
00:35:29.679 --> 00:35:31.599
<v Speaker 5>you know you have your basic needs taken care of.

677
00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:34.360
<v Speaker 2>Most likely most of your fears are fictional.

678
00:35:35.800 --> 00:35:39.880
<v Speaker 5>If you are living in a really politically unstable area,

679
00:35:39.960 --> 00:35:42.320
<v Speaker 5>if you're in Syria, right, if your basic needs are

680
00:35:42.360 --> 00:35:44.320
<v Speaker 5>not being met, then a lot of your fears are

681
00:35:44.360 --> 00:35:45.119
<v Speaker 5>going to be factual.

682
00:35:45.599 --> 00:35:48.039
<v Speaker 2>But so you know, it kind of depends on what

683
00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:48.880
<v Speaker 2>your situation is.

684
00:35:49.440 --> 00:35:55.280
<v Speaker 5>But in like modern society, in countries that are wealthy,

685
00:35:55.400 --> 00:35:57.360
<v Speaker 5>like the United States, even though that wealth is not

686
00:35:57.400 --> 00:35:59.360
<v Speaker 5>spread apart, we're still a very wealthy country, we're still

687
00:35:59.400 --> 00:36:02.760
<v Speaker 5>getting by, and so in that most of our fears

688
00:36:02.800 --> 00:36:07.880
<v Speaker 5>are going to be fictional. And you know, like fear

689
00:36:07.960 --> 00:36:10.239
<v Speaker 5>is so funny that you know, why do we like

690
00:36:10.760 --> 00:36:14.119
<v Speaker 5>scary movies because they give us that like rush of

691
00:36:14.119 --> 00:36:16.440
<v Speaker 5>adrenaline when we watch a scary movie and this is

692
00:36:16.440 --> 00:36:19.159
<v Speaker 5>gonna this is kind of where it'll be interesting with

693
00:36:19.239 --> 00:36:24.480
<v Speaker 5>the VR world, right because our mind doesn't know the

694
00:36:24.480 --> 00:36:27.039
<v Speaker 5>difference that that's not happening if it's a really engrossing movie.

695
00:36:27.920 --> 00:36:30.360
<v Speaker 5>And I just saw like on the social feed, I

696
00:36:30.360 --> 00:36:32.480
<v Speaker 5>think yesterday, there was some I don't know it's Netflix

697
00:36:32.599 --> 00:36:37.119
<v Speaker 5>or something that they made this like super scary episode

698
00:36:37.159 --> 00:36:39.239
<v Speaker 5>of something and people like were shutting out, like no

699
00:36:39.239 --> 00:36:42.400
<v Speaker 5>one was finishing it because it was so terrifying, right,

700
00:36:42.440 --> 00:36:43.679
<v Speaker 5>I mean I clearly didn't click on it.

701
00:36:43.880 --> 00:36:47.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah no, no, no, okay, I look this up. And Netflix

702
00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:51.119
<v Speaker 2>released a list of ten films that people tend to

703
00:36:51.199 --> 00:36:54.039
<v Speaker 2>watch more than seventy percent of, meaning that they would

704
00:36:54.039 --> 00:36:55.920
<v Speaker 2>have turned it off earlier if they just didn't like it,

705
00:36:56.360 --> 00:36:59.599
<v Speaker 2>But they noped it hardcore when the actions started getting

706
00:36:59.599 --> 00:37:01.639
<v Speaker 2>too spook so they made it most of the way

707
00:37:01.679 --> 00:37:04.440
<v Speaker 2>and then they're like no. So among these ten films,

708
00:37:04.519 --> 00:37:10.280
<v Speaker 2>Eli Roth's Cabin Fever, plus movies like Carnage Park, one

709
00:37:10.360 --> 00:37:15.360
<v Speaker 2>called Teeth, one called Raw, and of course Human Centipede two.

710
00:37:15.840 --> 00:37:17.639
<v Speaker 2>So this kind of led me down a rabbit hole

711
00:37:17.679 --> 00:37:21.360
<v Speaker 2>to learn about people who have suffered feinting spells and

712
00:37:21.519 --> 00:37:25.960
<v Speaker 2>heart attacks in horror movie screenings. It happens people just

713
00:37:26.039 --> 00:37:30.440
<v Speaker 2>straight up faint and die. Oh human beings. Mat, We

714
00:37:30.559 --> 00:37:33.719
<v Speaker 2>grew these big fat brains, and we're like, you know

715
00:37:33.760 --> 00:37:37.480
<v Speaker 2>what we could do. We could create technology to make

716
00:37:37.599 --> 00:37:41.079
<v Speaker 2>pictures move, and then we can scare ourselves until we

717
00:37:41.159 --> 00:37:42.960
<v Speaker 2>literally die. Let's do that.

718
00:37:43.639 --> 00:37:45.199
<v Speaker 5>It's one of those things that if we can put

719
00:37:45.199 --> 00:37:48.559
<v Speaker 5>ourselves in the story, we can like we're activating all

720
00:37:48.559 --> 00:37:53.400
<v Speaker 5>those things but are like higher brain functions, you know,

721
00:37:53.480 --> 00:37:56.599
<v Speaker 5>like our streabral cortex has been like, Okay, we're still safe.

722
00:37:56.599 --> 00:37:59.440
<v Speaker 5>We're in a movie theater, we have our popcorn, we're

723
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:01.920
<v Speaker 5>on our cow. There's enough safety where we can play

724
00:38:01.960 --> 00:38:04.920
<v Speaker 5>around in that fear zone and get.

725
00:38:04.760 --> 00:38:08.639
<v Speaker 2>The like fear high right like or like you.

726
00:38:08.559 --> 00:38:12.480
<v Speaker 5>Know, we also get to dress rehearse tragedies and dress

727
00:38:12.480 --> 00:38:14.079
<v Speaker 5>rehearse fear scenarios.

728
00:38:14.480 --> 00:38:16.000
<v Speaker 2>Like I mean, I know what I would do during

729
00:38:16.039 --> 00:38:18.159
<v Speaker 2>a zombie attack. I totally think about it.

730
00:38:18.199 --> 00:38:19.840
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, Okay, I'm on the second floor, so that

731
00:38:19.920 --> 00:38:22.679
<v Speaker 5>means that like you know where, or or if someone

732
00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:24.519
<v Speaker 5>broke in, like with the ax through my front door,

733
00:38:24.519 --> 00:38:26.000
<v Speaker 5>I would probably go out the back door. I mean,

734
00:38:26.039 --> 00:38:29.480
<v Speaker 5>we were constantly dressed rehearsing these things that will most

735
00:38:29.559 --> 00:38:33.519
<v Speaker 5>likely never happen. Right, But so movies like that help us,

736
00:38:34.000 --> 00:38:37.159
<v Speaker 5>almost in a weird way, feel safe because our mind

737
00:38:37.320 --> 00:38:39.079
<v Speaker 5>likes to dress rehearse stuff, It likes to play with

738
00:38:39.159 --> 00:38:43.039
<v Speaker 5>scenarios because in a weird way, that lets us feel like, Okay.

739
00:38:42.800 --> 00:38:44.199
<v Speaker 2>We at least I wouldn't. I would know what to

740
00:38:44.239 --> 00:38:47.159
<v Speaker 2>do when zombies come, right. I wonder about that, Like

741
00:38:47.320 --> 00:38:51.320
<v Speaker 2>why do some people love horrifying stuff and others are like,

742
00:38:51.639 --> 00:38:55.000
<v Speaker 2>hell no, like pictures of bunnies only you know, totally,

743
00:38:55.039 --> 00:38:55.679
<v Speaker 2>And part.

744
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:58.920
<v Speaker 5>Of it's tolerance, right, Some people can have like a

745
00:38:59.000 --> 00:39:01.039
<v Speaker 5>peach schnops and be like looping, and the other people

746
00:39:01.159 --> 00:39:03.239
<v Speaker 5>can have straight whiskey and they'd be like, that's good,

747
00:39:03.239 --> 00:39:03.840
<v Speaker 5>it's warm up.

748
00:39:04.360 --> 00:39:06.000
<v Speaker 2>So it's really a personal.

749
00:39:05.639 --> 00:39:09.840
<v Speaker 5>Tolerance, and that gets into personality and what your experiences

750
00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:12.239
<v Speaker 5>are and what gets your motor rubbin.

751
00:39:12.159 --> 00:39:13.559
<v Speaker 2>For certain things.

752
00:39:13.639 --> 00:39:17.079
<v Speaker 5>So's that's definitely like a person by person thing, but

753
00:39:17.159 --> 00:39:21.719
<v Speaker 5>the underlying physiological responses are the same. Just some people

754
00:39:21.920 --> 00:39:27.400
<v Speaker 5>enjoy that feeling, like adrenaline junkies, right, They put themselves

755
00:39:27.519 --> 00:39:32.599
<v Speaker 5>in physically precarious positions because they want to feel that high.

756
00:39:32.679 --> 00:39:34.480
<v Speaker 2>They want to like feel the knots in.

757
00:39:34.440 --> 00:39:37.880
<v Speaker 5>Their stomach and like all the things because they find

758
00:39:37.880 --> 00:39:41.599
<v Speaker 5>that pleasurable, where other people are like yeah, no, yeah,

759
00:39:41.719 --> 00:39:43.360
<v Speaker 5>that's no, that sounds hormendous.

760
00:39:43.400 --> 00:39:45.280
<v Speaker 2>Why why would I do that? I don't ever want

761
00:39:45.280 --> 00:39:49.000
<v Speaker 2>to opt into diarrhea. That's always going to be a

762
00:39:49.079 --> 00:39:53.239
<v Speaker 2>no in my book, never a yes. Side note just

763
00:39:53.239 --> 00:39:56.760
<v Speaker 2>to say not everyone's adrenaline Russia's are the same. Some

764
00:39:56.800 --> 00:40:00.039
<v Speaker 2>folks may love jumping off buildings in webbed onesies that

765
00:40:00.079 --> 00:40:02.440
<v Speaker 2>allow them to drift back to the earth, while others

766
00:40:02.599 --> 00:40:05.159
<v Speaker 2>just procrastinate on their deadlines because they're afraid to fail

767
00:40:05.199 --> 00:40:07.519
<v Speaker 2>and need a rush of stress hormones to prod them.

768
00:40:08.360 --> 00:40:12.000
<v Speaker 2>Guess which one I am? Guess Do you find that

769
00:40:13.000 --> 00:40:18.320
<v Speaker 2>there's a distinction psychologically between stress, fear, and just anxiety,

770
00:40:18.400 --> 00:40:21.559
<v Speaker 2>Like what is an anxiety disorder or what is anxiety?

771
00:40:21.599 --> 00:40:23.320
<v Speaker 2>Where does it play into all of that? Where does

772
00:40:23.400 --> 00:40:24.480
<v Speaker 2>neurosis come into it?

773
00:40:24.599 --> 00:40:28.119
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, So it's like I said, for me, I specifically

774
00:40:28.119 --> 00:40:31.280
<v Speaker 5>have always focused on like the non clinical, non pathological stuff,

775
00:40:31.280 --> 00:40:35.320
<v Speaker 5>and so I'm a biologist and a science communicator by

776
00:40:35.480 --> 00:40:39.400
<v Speaker 5>degree and training, and that means that I pull together

777
00:40:39.519 --> 00:40:41.079
<v Speaker 5>interdisciplinary work on all of it.

778
00:40:41.119 --> 00:40:42.159
<v Speaker 2>But I don't treat patients.

779
00:40:42.360 --> 00:40:44.519
<v Speaker 5>So I think that's important just because anytime you're talking

780
00:40:44.519 --> 00:40:47.000
<v Speaker 5>about this sometimes people are like, oh good, I don't

781
00:40:47.000 --> 00:40:48.920
<v Speaker 5>need to see a professional because I can just listen

782
00:40:48.960 --> 00:40:51.559
<v Speaker 5>to a podcast and watch a video and if you're

783
00:40:51.559 --> 00:40:57.000
<v Speaker 5>feeling those really extreme bouts of anxiety and depression, and

784
00:40:57.400 --> 00:41:00.000
<v Speaker 5>that's how we deal with fear, right, But it's a spectrum,

785
00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:02.320
<v Speaker 5>So on those on those extreme things that's when you

786
00:41:02.360 --> 00:41:04.360
<v Speaker 5>really need to get that professional support so you can

787
00:41:04.760 --> 00:41:08.079
<v Speaker 5>get back to having you know, like control over your life.

788
00:41:08.480 --> 00:41:11.679
<v Speaker 5>That being said, they're all the damn same, right, And

789
00:41:11.960 --> 00:41:15.519
<v Speaker 5>when I teach people about how to create strategies around fear,

790
00:41:16.559 --> 00:41:20.639
<v Speaker 5>one of the mechanisms I talk about is like aria

791
00:41:20.840 --> 00:41:21.199
<v Speaker 5>or rhea.

792
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:25.960
<v Speaker 2>That okay, so this is a genius strategy. Are I

793
00:41:26.159 --> 00:41:27.639
<v Speaker 2>a rhea? Are you ready?

794
00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:30.840
<v Speaker 5>The first step is just recognizing what's going on, and

795
00:41:30.840 --> 00:41:33.199
<v Speaker 5>then the second step would be identifying it, kind of

796
00:41:33.239 --> 00:41:37.000
<v Speaker 5>like name it to claim it. And I was just

797
00:41:37.239 --> 00:41:42.199
<v Speaker 5>in Kozmel last week and talking about my research with

798
00:41:42.239 --> 00:41:43.840
<v Speaker 5>my partner, and he came up with this really funny

799
00:41:43.880 --> 00:41:47.440
<v Speaker 5>idea that he works in creative and narrative kind of

800
00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:50.280
<v Speaker 5>stuff as well, and he was saying that there is

801
00:41:50.400 --> 00:41:57.239
<v Speaker 5>power in naming things throughout storytelling and mythology, pop culture, beetlejuice, right,

802
00:41:57.320 --> 00:41:59.920
<v Speaker 5>rumblestial skin, that if you know the name of the d,

803
00:42:00.599 --> 00:42:02.679
<v Speaker 5>then you can control it. And I just found that

804
00:42:02.800 --> 00:42:06.719
<v Speaker 5>really fascinating, because when you start to name it sometimes

805
00:42:06.719 --> 00:42:08.960
<v Speaker 5>that can just short circuit the.

806
00:42:08.840 --> 00:42:10.239
<v Speaker 2>Fear response in and of itself.

807
00:42:10.519 --> 00:42:14.280
<v Speaker 5>Wow, like you recognize Okay, I'm starting to feel like

808
00:42:14.320 --> 00:42:17.840
<v Speaker 5>the physiological effects of something to set me off, and

809
00:42:18.000 --> 00:42:21.480
<v Speaker 5>just kind of recognizing that that's happening and identifying it

810
00:42:21.960 --> 00:42:24.079
<v Speaker 5>some One of the things that I've made is what

811
00:42:24.119 --> 00:42:25.960
<v Speaker 5>I call a fear wheel, which is basically a bunch

812
00:42:26.000 --> 00:42:29.519
<v Speaker 5>of different synonyms for fear that we usually use, like

813
00:42:29.719 --> 00:42:33.480
<v Speaker 5>I feel insecure, I feel overwhelmed, I feel stressed, I

814
00:42:33.480 --> 00:42:34.320
<v Speaker 5>feel inadequate.

815
00:42:34.840 --> 00:42:38.639
<v Speaker 2>Right, this sounds like the best worst game show ever

816
00:42:38.719 --> 00:42:41.320
<v Speaker 2>where there's just a wheel of fear that you have

817
00:42:41.400 --> 00:42:43.960
<v Speaker 2>to spin. But it is comforting to know that whatever's

818
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:47.400
<v Speaker 2>making us sweat or wring our hands could be named

819
00:42:47.559 --> 00:42:51.519
<v Speaker 2>and identified on like a glittery, colorful game show prop.

820
00:42:51.719 --> 00:42:52.559
<v Speaker 2>I'm so into that.

821
00:42:53.800 --> 00:42:57.679
<v Speaker 5>When looking at fictional fears, you can really most fictional

822
00:42:57.679 --> 00:43:00.519
<v Speaker 5>fears will fit into one of two categories, either fear

823
00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:04.920
<v Speaker 5>of being not enough or the fear of not being

824
00:43:04.920 --> 00:43:07.679
<v Speaker 5>in control. Oh wow, And so if you can kind

825
00:43:07.679 --> 00:43:09.039
<v Speaker 5>of go back to that and say, like.

826
00:43:09.920 --> 00:43:12.920
<v Speaker 2>Okay, where where which category does this fit in?

827
00:43:13.239 --> 00:43:15.360
<v Speaker 5>Sometimes that will just click you right out of the

828
00:43:15.400 --> 00:43:19.199
<v Speaker 5>fear response, like yeah, it's so fun. Because humans loved

829
00:43:19.199 --> 00:43:22.000
<v Speaker 5>to pigeonhole, we have an entire store called the container

830
00:43:22.079 --> 00:43:25.800
<v Speaker 5>Store because we love boxes, so damn much.

831
00:43:26.079 --> 00:43:30.599
<v Speaker 2>I love that contains so many different pouches.

832
00:43:30.760 --> 00:43:31.280
<v Speaker 3>I love it.

833
00:43:31.639 --> 00:43:34.440
<v Speaker 2>We love to but sh it in boxes. It's so good.

834
00:43:34.480 --> 00:43:37.760
<v Speaker 5>We're like, oh, yeah, like there's a relaxing like it.

835
00:43:37.840 --> 00:43:40.079
<v Speaker 2>So get to put the box. And we love the

836
00:43:40.119 --> 00:43:40.920
<v Speaker 2>category stuff.

837
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:43.639
<v Speaker 5>So when you get into the habit of categorizing what

838
00:43:43.679 --> 00:43:45.719
<v Speaker 5>you're feeling, sometimes I will just click out of it

839
00:43:45.760 --> 00:43:46.360
<v Speaker 5>and you'd be like.

840
00:43:46.360 --> 00:43:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh, it's so good. Can't put in a box, happy

841
00:43:48.880 --> 00:43:49.639
<v Speaker 2>safe box.

842
00:43:49.719 --> 00:43:52.920
<v Speaker 5>I filed it correctly, yeah, and it's like ah, and

843
00:43:52.960 --> 00:43:55.840
<v Speaker 5>it's just sometimes that's enough to like, you know, knock

844
00:43:55.880 --> 00:43:56.320
<v Speaker 5>you out of it.

845
00:43:56.480 --> 00:44:01.199
<v Speaker 2>So the ria so far is our I recognize and identify,

846
00:44:01.400 --> 00:44:01.960
<v Speaker 2>but what's the A?

847
00:44:03.039 --> 00:44:05.039
<v Speaker 5>And then the A is going to be to address,

848
00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:07.199
<v Speaker 5>you know, what kind of strategies or do you need

849
00:44:07.199 --> 00:44:09.280
<v Speaker 5>to manage outcomes for this. A lot of times you

850
00:44:09.280 --> 00:44:13.519
<v Speaker 5>can get just in the recognizing and the identifying stage

851
00:44:13.519 --> 00:44:15.440
<v Speaker 5>and then it'll it'll kind of click you out.

852
00:44:16.280 --> 00:44:16.480
<v Speaker 2>You know.

853
00:44:16.480 --> 00:44:18.639
<v Speaker 5>For example, I have a great story and it's just

854
00:44:18.719 --> 00:44:20.400
<v Speaker 5>like back to cosen Mil because it was like two

855
00:44:20.440 --> 00:44:23.599
<v Speaker 5>days ago. So we're coming off the plane's had a

856
00:44:23.599 --> 00:44:25.760
<v Speaker 5>whole travel day, this is the end of the week,

857
00:44:26.079 --> 00:44:29.880
<v Speaker 5>and my partner Craig and I are sitting on different

858
00:44:29.960 --> 00:44:34.679
<v Speaker 5>seats because you know, American Airlines not my favorite airline,

859
00:44:34.800 --> 00:44:36.639
<v Speaker 5>and I got out first. I'm waiting on the jet

860
00:44:36.639 --> 00:44:39.360
<v Speaker 5>bridge from for him, and so he comes up and

861
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:41.119
<v Speaker 5>he's like, wow, you look a bit rough.

862
00:44:41.360 --> 00:44:44.599
<v Speaker 2>Just a little visual f yi. I looked appauled when

863
00:44:44.639 --> 00:44:48.599
<v Speaker 2>she told me this. I made that face. I made

864
00:44:48.599 --> 00:44:50.079
<v Speaker 2>that face and got real mad.

865
00:44:50.199 --> 00:44:54.119
<v Speaker 5>You're like, that was so bad, and he's not He's

866
00:44:54.119 --> 00:44:56.239
<v Speaker 5>not someone that would ever usually say something like that,

867
00:44:56.760 --> 00:44:58.239
<v Speaker 5>and I'm like, yeah, well I do.

868
00:44:58.400 --> 00:44:59.280
<v Speaker 2>Look my crap.

869
00:44:59.320 --> 00:45:03.440
<v Speaker 5>We've been he's traveling for like a million hours, and

870
00:45:04.519 --> 00:45:09.639
<v Speaker 5>so at that point, I'm just like internal rage. And

871
00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:12.400
<v Speaker 5>when you're feeling a stress response or a fear response,

872
00:45:13.000 --> 00:45:19.280
<v Speaker 5>You're like, cerebral cortex is just where the higher thinking happens.

873
00:45:19.440 --> 00:45:22.320
<v Speaker 2>Just shuts down. Yes, it's like okay and I'm offline.

874
00:45:22.840 --> 00:45:25.480
<v Speaker 5>It just shuts down. And now I'm just I'm in

875
00:45:25.559 --> 00:45:29.119
<v Speaker 5>it what I call like a fear storm. It's like

876
00:45:29.159 --> 00:45:33.000
<v Speaker 5>a maelstrom because that just hit my I'm not enough button.

877
00:45:33.440 --> 00:45:35.760
<v Speaker 5>At this point, I'm going through all of the scenarios

878
00:45:35.800 --> 00:45:37.880
<v Speaker 5>of like he thinks some fat he thinks that I'm ugly.

879
00:45:37.920 --> 00:45:39.519
<v Speaker 5>Oh my god, I'm old. I should probably die my hair.

880
00:45:39.559 --> 00:45:41.239
<v Speaker 5>I should probably want to die it. I probably need

881
00:45:41.280 --> 00:45:44.239
<v Speaker 5>to never eat again. Right, it's and it spirals so quick.

882
00:45:44.280 --> 00:45:47.480
<v Speaker 5>This was all happening even before we left the jet bridge,

883
00:45:48.559 --> 00:45:50.000
<v Speaker 5>and it's but it's.

884
00:45:49.800 --> 00:45:51.360
<v Speaker 2>So it was He did not mean it in a

885
00:45:51.400 --> 00:45:51.840
<v Speaker 2>mean way.

886
00:45:51.920 --> 00:45:54.159
<v Speaker 5>It just kind of like because he when he came out,

887
00:45:54.360 --> 00:45:56.079
<v Speaker 5>I was like tousing my hair and I kind of

888
00:45:56.320 --> 00:46:00.239
<v Speaker 5>kind of looked like a lion. But I took it

889
00:46:00.679 --> 00:46:04.440
<v Speaker 5>so personally, and it was my perception of what he

890
00:46:04.519 --> 00:46:07.079
<v Speaker 5>had said, of course, and instead of I didn't ask

891
00:46:07.159 --> 00:46:07.760
<v Speaker 5>questions like.

892
00:46:07.679 --> 00:46:08.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh what do you mean about that?

893
00:46:08.880 --> 00:46:12.679
<v Speaker 5>I just went straight down the rabbit hole of like

894
00:46:12.960 --> 00:46:14.719
<v Speaker 5>internalizing everything.

895
00:46:14.800 --> 00:46:16.880
<v Speaker 2>And that was my fear talking, the fear of not

896
00:46:17.000 --> 00:46:17.599
<v Speaker 2>being enough.

897
00:46:18.119 --> 00:46:20.719
<v Speaker 5>And so you know, I walked it off a little

898
00:46:20.760 --> 00:46:22.679
<v Speaker 5>bit because I'm just like, I'm not going to talk

899
00:46:22.679 --> 00:46:24.239
<v Speaker 5>to you right now because I'm to say something real mean,

900
00:46:26.559 --> 00:46:28.480
<v Speaker 5>And then in my head, I'm like, okay, you gotta

901
00:46:28.519 --> 00:46:28.960
<v Speaker 5>walk the walk.

902
00:46:29.000 --> 00:46:30.519
<v Speaker 2>If you're going to ask other people to do it,

903
00:46:30.639 --> 00:46:31.679
<v Speaker 2>you gotta do it yourself.

904
00:46:32.119 --> 00:46:35.400
<v Speaker 5>And just analyzing, Okay, why why am I going down

905
00:46:35.400 --> 00:46:39.320
<v Speaker 5>this crazy rabbit hole? And especially as women, Like our

906
00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:42.199
<v Speaker 5>value is associated with how we look in Western society.

907
00:46:42.400 --> 00:46:44.679
<v Speaker 5>We've been conditioned, so that's going to be one of

908
00:46:44.679 --> 00:46:47.280
<v Speaker 5>our buttons. Hands down, that's gonna be one of our buttons.

909
00:46:47.760 --> 00:46:52.239
<v Speaker 5>And so just kind of like identifying what I was feeling,

910
00:46:52.440 --> 00:46:57.719
<v Speaker 5>naming it and putting it into a box, and I'm like, oh, okay,

911
00:46:57.840 --> 00:47:00.280
<v Speaker 5>because it also makes us feel not so alone that

912
00:47:00.480 --> 00:47:03.000
<v Speaker 5>it's just it's just our human body being a human body,

913
00:47:03.599 --> 00:47:08.760
<v Speaker 5>that it's not like what we would consider ourselves. It's

914
00:47:08.760 --> 00:47:12.159
<v Speaker 5>our brain doing its brain thing. And that like totally

915
00:47:12.159 --> 00:47:14.039
<v Speaker 5>helped me like snap out of it and then be

916
00:47:14.039 --> 00:47:17.000
<v Speaker 5>able to have a conversation, right, because before that I

917
00:47:17.079 --> 00:47:21.360
<v Speaker 5>was just so caught up in like the emotion of it.

918
00:47:21.760 --> 00:47:23.960
<v Speaker 5>I just couldn't even ask questions about like, so, what

919
00:47:24.400 --> 00:47:26.320
<v Speaker 5>exactly did you mean by that? Yeah? And then once

920
00:47:26.360 --> 00:47:28.599
<v Speaker 5>I calmed down, you know what baggage claim, you know,

921
00:47:28.840 --> 00:47:31.159
<v Speaker 5>and I was like, Okay, now now we can have

922
00:47:31.199 --> 00:47:35.280
<v Speaker 5>a conversation. But you know, ten years ago, before I

923
00:47:35.280 --> 00:47:39.039
<v Speaker 5>started really studying fear, I was really shit at emotions.

924
00:47:38.800 --> 00:47:40.480
<v Speaker 2>Like, like I was a scientist.

925
00:47:40.480 --> 00:47:43.519
<v Speaker 5>That's why I got into science, because you didn't have

926
00:47:43.559 --> 00:47:44.559
<v Speaker 5>to have emotions in.

927
00:47:44.480 --> 00:47:47.280
<v Speaker 2>Fact, they give you extra credit if you didn't have emotions.

928
00:47:47.639 --> 00:47:50.360
<v Speaker 2>I was so great. I'm like, oh, science, I'm here

929
00:47:50.400 --> 00:47:50.800
<v Speaker 2>for you.

930
00:47:50.800 --> 00:47:52.320
<v Speaker 5>You are going to be my friend because I don't

931
00:47:52.360 --> 00:47:54.000
<v Speaker 5>have to have emotions, which is kind of.

932
00:47:54.000 --> 00:47:55.960
<v Speaker 2>Weird for a girl, but whatever. It was so great.

933
00:47:58.480 --> 00:48:01.840
<v Speaker 5>And I had to like teach my self how to communicate,

934
00:48:01.920 --> 00:48:05.559
<v Speaker 5>especially difficult emotions, and so for me to even within

935
00:48:05.800 --> 00:48:08.639
<v Speaker 5>you know, a couple of minutes, go from ragy pants

936
00:48:09.559 --> 00:48:11.599
<v Speaker 5>and her and like going through like.

937
00:48:13.440 --> 00:48:14.840
<v Speaker 2>Dramatic about it too.

938
00:48:15.400 --> 00:48:18.199
<v Speaker 5>Okay, now that I'm like able to get a little

939
00:48:18.239 --> 00:48:20.960
<v Speaker 5>bit of my higher functions online.

940
00:48:20.840 --> 00:48:23.360
<v Speaker 2>What exactly did you mean by that? Right? He's like, oh,

941
00:48:23.360 --> 00:48:23.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm really sorry.

942
00:48:23.960 --> 00:48:25.960
<v Speaker 5>I just met, like, you know, after like a long

943
00:48:26.039 --> 00:48:28.360
<v Speaker 5>day and and you know, like when wonder Woman is

944
00:48:28.480 --> 00:48:29.920
<v Speaker 5>at the end of the battle, you she looked a

945
00:48:29.920 --> 00:48:32.400
<v Speaker 5>little rough too, because I'm a big comic nerd, so

946
00:48:32.400 --> 00:48:34.400
<v Speaker 5>he's gonna pull in all the stops of this one

947
00:48:34.480 --> 00:48:35.519
<v Speaker 5>right way to go correct?

948
00:48:35.519 --> 00:48:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Are that right?

949
00:48:37.480 --> 00:48:39.880
<v Speaker 5>You know, like, like you know, wonder Woman, she looked

950
00:48:39.920 --> 00:48:41.639
<v Speaker 5>a little rough after the end of the battles.

951
00:48:41.679 --> 00:48:42.440
<v Speaker 2>That's just what I said.

952
00:48:43.079 --> 00:48:47.079
<v Speaker 5>I was like, you're ridiculous, okay, And and it was fine, right,

953
00:48:47.119 --> 00:48:49.960
<v Speaker 5>But I could easily see myself ten years ago being

954
00:48:50.000 --> 00:48:52.039
<v Speaker 5>mad about that for like a year, right, you know,

955
00:48:52.119 --> 00:48:55.159
<v Speaker 5>and just internalizing it and being like, wait.

956
00:48:55.559 --> 00:48:57.800
<v Speaker 2>Well, how much do you think of our Anger in

957
00:48:57.920 --> 00:49:02.159
<v Speaker 2>general is just fear that comes out the wrong pipe so.

958
00:49:02.239 --> 00:49:05.800
<v Speaker 5>Much, especially with men. That's you know, and not to

959
00:49:05.880 --> 00:49:09.599
<v Speaker 5>like overgeneralize, and gender is very complicated as well, but

960
00:49:09.840 --> 00:49:12.800
<v Speaker 5>generally men will go to the anger button first and

961
00:49:13.320 --> 00:49:16.760
<v Speaker 5>women go to like the shut down button first.

962
00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:19.199
<v Speaker 2>Part of that is socialization.

963
00:49:19.559 --> 00:49:23.800
<v Speaker 5>Part of that, you know, can be associated with physiology,

964
00:49:23.599 --> 00:49:27.159
<v Speaker 5>but anger is a way to not show what they think,

965
00:49:27.239 --> 00:49:31.320
<v Speaker 5>not showing fear, so you know, if they're scared of

966
00:49:31.360 --> 00:49:34.480
<v Speaker 5>not being enough, if they're scared of losing control, whether

967
00:49:34.480 --> 00:49:38.159
<v Speaker 5>that control is financial or their health, it comes out

968
00:49:38.280 --> 00:49:41.679
<v Speaker 5>as anger because it makes the person feel powerful, right,

969
00:49:41.920 --> 00:49:46.199
<v Speaker 5>because anger is also one of the base emotions. But

970
00:49:46.239 --> 00:49:49.760
<v Speaker 5>we don't feel powerful in fear. We feel powerful in anger.

971
00:49:50.280 --> 00:49:54.039
<v Speaker 5>And we talked about media. When we look at archetypes

972
00:49:54.079 --> 00:49:57.320
<v Speaker 5>and media, the ones that come in they're angry and.

973
00:49:57.280 --> 00:49:59.480
<v Speaker 2>They got the rambo knife and they got the guns.

974
00:50:00.079 --> 00:50:02.440
<v Speaker 2>Those are those are the power ones. They're they're here

975
00:50:02.480 --> 00:50:05.440
<v Speaker 2>to woo bass not they're like I'm afraid in the corner,

976
00:50:05.599 --> 00:50:07.719
<v Speaker 2>I'm the big you know, like scared pants.

977
00:50:07.760 --> 00:50:10.000
<v Speaker 5>I'm not saving anybody. No one wants to be the

978
00:50:10.039 --> 00:50:12.519
<v Speaker 5>scaredy pants in the movie. They want to be the hero.

979
00:50:13.639 --> 00:50:16.000
<v Speaker 5>And the way that we've told stories, the hero is

980
00:50:16.039 --> 00:50:16.800
<v Speaker 5>generally angry.

981
00:50:17.440 --> 00:50:19.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they have a they have a bone to pick,

982
00:50:19.960 --> 00:50:23.920
<v Speaker 2>or they have revenge to seek or or something like it.

983
00:50:23.920 --> 00:50:27.039
<v Speaker 2>They've got a score to settle, yea and so. And

984
00:50:27.119 --> 00:50:30.639
<v Speaker 2>I find it's funny. I find when I'm when I'm scared,

985
00:50:31.159 --> 00:50:35.199
<v Speaker 2>I either shut down and I just almost in conflict,

986
00:50:35.320 --> 00:50:39.719
<v Speaker 2>can't even speak, and like words just won't come out.

987
00:50:39.920 --> 00:50:42.360
<v Speaker 2>That's me. That happened when I got mugg too. I

988
00:50:42.400 --> 00:50:44.480
<v Speaker 2>went to scream and no noise would come out of

989
00:50:44.519 --> 00:50:45.639
<v Speaker 2>my mouth, and I was like, it was like one

990
00:50:45.679 --> 00:50:48.480
<v Speaker 2>of those nightmares. Yeah, where you can't run. Only I ran,

991
00:50:48.559 --> 00:50:51.639
<v Speaker 2>but I was like just nothing. And then but yeah,

992
00:50:51.679 --> 00:50:55.400
<v Speaker 2>sometimes I'll be super afraid. I'll have like an anxiety

993
00:50:55.400 --> 00:50:57.280
<v Speaker 2>attack about something. Like I was doing my taxes the

994
00:50:57.280 --> 00:50:59.639
<v Speaker 2>other day and was like I realized I forgot to

995
00:50:59.639 --> 00:51:01.559
<v Speaker 2>pay this one thing and there was a fine on it. It

996
00:51:01.440 --> 00:51:04.159
<v Speaker 2>was like this tiny business tax that I just didn't

997
00:51:04.159 --> 00:51:10.360
<v Speaker 2>see the paperwork, and I got so angry at just humanity. Yeah,

998
00:51:10.599 --> 00:51:14.199
<v Speaker 2>I was like, but I mean, do you think that

999
00:51:14.199 --> 00:51:18.400
<v Speaker 2>that there's a stage where we'll stop doing that, we'll

1000
00:51:18.440 --> 00:51:22.159
<v Speaker 2>stop relying on on those either shut down or anger

1001
00:51:22.320 --> 00:51:25.320
<v Speaker 2>like especially with like you know, not to make it

1002
00:51:25.360 --> 00:51:27.719
<v Speaker 2>like the world today, but I mean, I feel like

1003
00:51:27.760 --> 00:51:30.679
<v Speaker 2>people online get so angry with each other, Like politically

1004
00:51:30.719 --> 00:51:33.719
<v Speaker 2>people are so angry, Like do you think there's a

1005
00:51:33.760 --> 00:51:37.159
<v Speaker 2>way to make people recognize like you are afraid right

1006
00:51:37.199 --> 00:51:40.920
<v Speaker 2>now and that is why you are bullying someone, or

1007
00:51:40.920 --> 00:51:44.880
<v Speaker 2>that's why you're shutting down sections of the government or whatever,

1008
00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:45.519
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean.

1009
00:51:46.559 --> 00:51:49.079
<v Speaker 5>I think that we definitely can get there as a

1010
00:51:49.119 --> 00:51:51.920
<v Speaker 5>society if if we try, And I think this is

1011
00:51:51.960 --> 00:51:54.199
<v Speaker 5>for me part of my why of why I think

1012
00:51:54.199 --> 00:51:57.719
<v Speaker 5>this work is so important to start these conversations because

1013
00:51:57.880 --> 00:52:00.360
<v Speaker 5>fear in and of itself is never going to go away,

1014
00:52:00.960 --> 00:52:02.800
<v Speaker 5>and it's gonna as long as we're humans. Until we

1015
00:52:02.800 --> 00:52:05.079
<v Speaker 5>can put our consciousness in a robot, then you know,

1016
00:52:05.119 --> 00:52:05.880
<v Speaker 5>we can come to.

1017
00:52:05.880 --> 00:52:07.760
<v Speaker 2>That bridge when it exists.

1018
00:52:07.760 --> 00:52:10.599
<v Speaker 5>But if we have our human bodies and our migdalas

1019
00:52:10.599 --> 00:52:13.880
<v Speaker 5>are intact, we're going to have fear and so changing

1020
00:52:13.880 --> 00:52:17.559
<v Speaker 5>that conversation, and you know, teaching people this is a

1021
00:52:17.599 --> 00:52:20.039
<v Speaker 5>total Like we teach people to sit on a toilet

1022
00:52:20.119 --> 00:52:23.960
<v Speaker 5>that is not a natural thing from a very young age.

1023
00:52:24.519 --> 00:52:27.039
<v Speaker 5>We're like, just don't stand and pee because most animals

1024
00:52:27.079 --> 00:52:28.679
<v Speaker 5>are just like ma, like I mean, or you know,

1025
00:52:28.960 --> 00:52:31.960
<v Speaker 5>we we teach very young children a very unnatural thing

1026
00:52:32.199 --> 00:52:35.719
<v Speaker 5>because it's more socially acceptable, so we can do it.

1027
00:52:36.000 --> 00:52:38.960
<v Speaker 5>I believe in humanity. At some point someone's like, hey,

1028
00:52:39.000 --> 00:52:39.840
<v Speaker 5>you know this really good idea.

1029
00:52:39.880 --> 00:52:42.039
<v Speaker 2>It's called the toilet. It's gonna be real fancy.

1030
00:52:42.320 --> 00:52:46.559
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, And and people thought they were crazy, and you know,

1031
00:52:46.519 --> 00:52:49.159
<v Speaker 5>it caught on and then now it's it's.

1032
00:52:49.000 --> 00:52:54.320
<v Speaker 2>Great, so so happy about it about twelve out of ten. Yeah.

1033
00:52:54.360 --> 00:52:58.119
<v Speaker 5>And with human behavior, people have to see what's in

1034
00:52:58.159 --> 00:52:58.599
<v Speaker 5>it for them.

1035
00:52:58.679 --> 00:53:00.239
<v Speaker 2>They have to see, like, well, what do I get

1036
00:53:00.239 --> 00:53:00.679
<v Speaker 2>out of it?

1037
00:53:01.199 --> 00:53:05.239
<v Speaker 5>And that's going to take some people longer than others,

1038
00:53:05.920 --> 00:53:11.559
<v Speaker 5>because it's going to take humans and adult humans recognizing

1039
00:53:11.639 --> 00:53:15.280
<v Speaker 5>that this needs to be cultivated because fear can't be cured,

1040
00:53:15.320 --> 00:53:17.360
<v Speaker 5>but it can be cultivated in a way that we

1041
00:53:17.400 --> 00:53:19.960
<v Speaker 5>can have a healthy relationship with it, and changing the

1042
00:53:20.000 --> 00:53:23.719
<v Speaker 5>conversation when people are raising kids about like it's okay

1043
00:53:23.719 --> 00:53:26.280
<v Speaker 5>to be afraid, like you know, you don't you can

1044
00:53:26.320 --> 00:53:30.760
<v Speaker 5>be scared, and allowing for that to be socially acceptable

1045
00:53:31.360 --> 00:53:35.119
<v Speaker 5>and then teaching people what to do when they're in

1046
00:53:35.159 --> 00:53:39.320
<v Speaker 5>the rabbit hole is going to be important. And I

1047
00:53:39.320 --> 00:53:41.719
<v Speaker 5>think that we definitely can get there, but it's not

1048
00:53:41.719 --> 00:53:43.760
<v Speaker 5>going to happen over night, as nothing does.

1049
00:53:43.920 --> 00:53:48.840
<v Speaker 2>If you had kids, what would be a good toilet

1050
00:53:48.920 --> 00:53:50.920
<v Speaker 2>training for them in terms of fear. Would it be

1051
00:53:51.239 --> 00:53:53.360
<v Speaker 2>trying to recognize if they're afraid of being out of

1052
00:53:53.360 --> 00:53:55.239
<v Speaker 2>control or not being good enough, or would it be

1053
00:53:55.920 --> 00:53:58.639
<v Speaker 2>naming their fears? Like how would you try to train

1054
00:53:58.679 --> 00:54:00.840
<v Speaker 2>a kid to have better or how do you wish

1055
00:54:00.880 --> 00:54:03.559
<v Speaker 2>you had been trained or I had been trained to

1056
00:54:03.679 --> 00:54:04.519
<v Speaker 2>deal with fears?

1057
00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:07.159
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and I think it's depending on how old they are,

1058
00:54:07.199 --> 00:54:11.239
<v Speaker 5>Like right now you would want to start having the

1059
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:15.119
<v Speaker 5>conversation of asking them to examine their own feelings in

1060
00:54:15.119 --> 00:54:17.199
<v Speaker 5>the moment. I think it's one of the hardest things

1061
00:54:17.199 --> 00:54:19.800
<v Speaker 5>to like, you know, since we're not trained about our emotions,

1062
00:54:19.800 --> 00:54:21.159
<v Speaker 5>sometimes we don't even know what we're feeling.

1063
00:54:21.440 --> 00:54:25.400
<v Speaker 2>We're just like, I'm just I'm not happy, Like like,

1064
00:54:25.440 --> 00:54:26.719
<v Speaker 2>what is it? I'm just I'm not happy.

1065
00:54:27.079 --> 00:54:31.159
<v Speaker 5>I'm in the not happy spectrum of not happy, I'm growley. Yeah,

1066
00:54:31.199 --> 00:54:35.039
<v Speaker 5>it was like raw and getting to the practice of Okay,

1067
00:54:35.119 --> 00:54:40.559
<v Speaker 5>you know, I'm feeling insecure or I'm feeling terrified, or

1068
00:54:41.000 --> 00:54:43.199
<v Speaker 5>you know, trying to trying to attach names to things,

1069
00:54:43.199 --> 00:54:45.559
<v Speaker 5>so even just in the moment they can say, you know,

1070
00:54:45.599 --> 00:54:48.519
<v Speaker 5>I'm feeling this way, and teaching them to reach out

1071
00:54:48.880 --> 00:54:52.519
<v Speaker 5>in that moment if they're they're smaller, even if they're larger,

1072
00:54:52.559 --> 00:54:55.480
<v Speaker 5>saying like, you know, I as your parent that loves you,

1073
00:54:56.440 --> 00:54:58.000
<v Speaker 5>I am a source for you to reach out. So

1074
00:54:58.000 --> 00:55:00.880
<v Speaker 5>when you're scared, you reach out to me, whether that's

1075
00:55:00.920 --> 00:55:03.440
<v Speaker 5>a text, whether that's a call, whether that is physically

1076
00:55:03.440 --> 00:55:06.719
<v Speaker 5>coming over and like just holding my hand, Like I

1077
00:55:06.840 --> 00:55:09.559
<v Speaker 5>can be your booie when you're when you're afraid and

1078
00:55:09.559 --> 00:55:11.280
<v Speaker 5>we could talk about it. I think one of the

1079
00:55:11.280 --> 00:55:13.880
<v Speaker 5>worst things is to just really super internalize the things

1080
00:55:13.920 --> 00:55:16.280
<v Speaker 5>you're afraid of, because then you just keep building that

1081
00:55:16.280 --> 00:55:20.559
<v Speaker 5>story and it gets bigger and bigger, and the stories

1082
00:55:20.559 --> 00:55:24.400
<v Speaker 5>that we tell ourselves continue to grow if we just

1083
00:55:24.519 --> 00:55:28.360
<v Speaker 5>keep in that cycle. So kind of creating a pattern

1084
00:55:28.519 --> 00:55:32.519
<v Speaker 5>of behavior that acknowledges the fear that is aware of

1085
00:55:32.559 --> 00:55:35.960
<v Speaker 5>it is accepting of it and then focuses on kind

1086
00:55:36.000 --> 00:55:39.599
<v Speaker 5>of ways to cultivate a better relationship with it.

1087
00:55:39.639 --> 00:55:42.000
<v Speaker 2>Do you recommend that adults kind of have those same

1088
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:46.760
<v Speaker 2>conversations with themselves, like when you're when you're feeling you know,

1089
00:55:46.960 --> 00:55:50.559
<v Speaker 2>anxious or angry or whatever, sitting down with yourself and saying, like,

1090
00:55:50.559 --> 00:55:53.199
<v Speaker 2>what are you feeling? Yeah? Yeah, all the time.

1091
00:55:53.320 --> 00:55:56.039
<v Speaker 5>And one of the reasons I'm so excited about like

1092
00:55:56.480 --> 00:55:58.679
<v Speaker 5>what I study is because I was, like, I'm not kidding,

1093
00:55:58.719 --> 00:56:01.039
<v Speaker 5>I was really bad at emotion. I was good at

1094
00:56:01.039 --> 00:56:05.760
<v Speaker 5>showing happy, bubbly, perfect Mary, everything's perfect, But darker emotions, No,

1095
00:56:05.840 --> 00:56:06.280
<v Speaker 5>they doesn't.

1096
00:56:06.320 --> 00:56:08.760
<v Speaker 2>I don't have those, they don't exist, you know. And

1097
00:56:09.159 --> 00:56:10.400
<v Speaker 2>everything was coming out sideways.

1098
00:56:11.119 --> 00:56:14.199
<v Speaker 5>So having that conversation with yourself is going to be important.

1099
00:56:14.519 --> 00:56:19.039
<v Speaker 5>Knowing what your fear reactions are is going to be essential.

1100
00:56:19.039 --> 00:56:22.159
<v Speaker 5>Like you said, you shut down, right, that's really common.

1101
00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:27.039
<v Speaker 5>People will run away, they'll get angry, they'll self medicate

1102
00:56:27.079 --> 00:56:31.559
<v Speaker 5>with food or substances, they'll become depressed or inactive. These

1103
00:56:31.599 --> 00:56:34.519
<v Speaker 5>are all unhealthy ways to respond to fear, But knowing

1104
00:56:34.880 --> 00:56:38.000
<v Speaker 5>how you respond is really important for building those relationships,

1105
00:56:38.000 --> 00:56:40.320
<v Speaker 5>so you have those people to reach out to so

1106
00:56:40.360 --> 00:56:42.840
<v Speaker 5>having like you know, like a romantic partner or friends,

1107
00:56:42.960 --> 00:56:44.840
<v Speaker 5>and you know, once they're in that kind of like

1108
00:56:44.880 --> 00:56:47.639
<v Speaker 5>circle of trust, saying like this is how I react

1109
00:56:47.679 --> 00:56:51.000
<v Speaker 5>when I'm in fear, Like I shut down. It's not

1110
00:56:51.039 --> 00:56:53.079
<v Speaker 5>that I don't want to talk to you. My mouth

1111
00:56:53.159 --> 00:56:56.400
<v Speaker 5>isn't working, Like I'm one of those people like I,

1112
00:56:56.679 --> 00:56:59.920
<v Speaker 5>you know, like just I'm I'm stonewall, and I know

1113
00:57:00.159 --> 00:57:02.119
<v Speaker 5>that's not the person I want to be, but it's

1114
00:57:02.119 --> 00:57:04.599
<v Speaker 5>also going to just be part of the equation. And

1115
00:57:04.840 --> 00:57:07.639
<v Speaker 5>when you add in you're tired, or you have eight

1116
00:57:07.760 --> 00:57:10.000
<v Speaker 5>hundred other things that on your plate, you know you're

1117
00:57:10.000 --> 00:57:13.280
<v Speaker 5>not always going to be that perfect person of being like, Hi,

1118
00:57:13.440 --> 00:57:16.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm feeling fear, and I'm going to eloquently articulate those

1119
00:57:17.000 --> 00:57:19.760
<v Speaker 5>feelings for you in a very nice and gentle tone.

1120
00:57:19.880 --> 00:57:22.719
<v Speaker 5>So there's going to be no you know, friction between us.

1121
00:57:23.079 --> 00:57:24.239
<v Speaker 5>You're like, I have a power point.

1122
00:57:24.800 --> 00:57:29.360
<v Speaker 2>I've made a slide deck. It's on Prezzy. I just

1123
00:57:29.440 --> 00:57:32.039
<v Speaker 2>had to look up what presny was, and I'm sure

1124
00:57:32.119 --> 00:57:35.480
<v Speaker 2>it's for lecturers and marketing professionals, but it seems like

1125
00:57:35.519 --> 00:57:37.519
<v Speaker 2>a real snazzy way to tell a lover how and

1126
00:57:37.559 --> 00:57:41.239
<v Speaker 2>why they bruised your feelings, I'm gonna use it like

1127
00:57:41.320 --> 00:57:43.119
<v Speaker 2>that's just it's not gonna it's not how it's going

1128
00:57:43.159 --> 00:57:44.000
<v Speaker 2>to come out right.

1129
00:57:44.960 --> 00:57:49.079
<v Speaker 5>But knowing how you and your partner like react when

1130
00:57:49.079 --> 00:57:50.320
<v Speaker 5>you're in fear is going to be important. So you

1131
00:57:50.360 --> 00:57:54.119
<v Speaker 5>can also start to see it so that if they're

1132
00:57:54.159 --> 00:57:56.920
<v Speaker 5>shutting down or if they're getting angry that's disproportioned to

1133
00:57:56.960 --> 00:57:59.599
<v Speaker 5>the thing, you can actually be like, Okay, this is

1134
00:57:59.639 --> 00:58:02.039
<v Speaker 5>not me like an ass like are you are you

1135
00:58:02.119 --> 00:58:05.440
<v Speaker 5>feeling afraid right now? And are you able to talk

1136
00:58:05.440 --> 00:58:08.320
<v Speaker 5>about it? Or maybe do we need to like take

1137
00:58:08.320 --> 00:58:10.320
<v Speaker 5>a five? And like, for me, sometimes I just need

1138
00:58:10.360 --> 00:58:12.400
<v Speaker 5>to walk away. Yeah, I'm just gonna say something stupid.

1139
00:58:12.599 --> 00:58:15.039
<v Speaker 2>So I just and what's happening in that because I

1140
00:58:15.039 --> 00:58:17.920
<v Speaker 2>will sometimes be I know, there's this adage of like,

1141
00:58:18.000 --> 00:58:23.119
<v Speaker 2>never go to bed angry, and sometimes I'm like, if

1142
00:58:23.199 --> 00:58:26.800
<v Speaker 2>I'm annoyed or angry, insecure or fearful, and it's coming

1143
00:58:26.800 --> 00:58:33.960
<v Speaker 2>out sideways thanks folicism, Like I'll fall asleep and I'll

1144
00:58:34.000 --> 00:58:35.880
<v Speaker 2>wake up and I'm like I'm fine, and I'm like

1145
00:58:35.960 --> 00:58:38.920
<v Speaker 2>and that's so anathetical to then never go to bed angry.

1146
00:58:38.960 --> 00:58:41.079
<v Speaker 2>But I feel like I'm like, this is a chemical

1147
00:58:41.880 --> 00:58:45.719
<v Speaker 2>tornado in my brain. Yeah, and it's gonna go away.

1148
00:58:45.840 --> 00:58:49.199
<v Speaker 2>And I is there ever, is it just like different structure,

1149
00:58:49.239 --> 00:58:53.400
<v Speaker 2>different folks, or like, is there something good about just

1150
00:58:53.400 --> 00:58:57.360
<v Speaker 2>like letting your brain chemicals drain and get broken down

1151
00:58:57.559 --> 00:59:00.119
<v Speaker 2>over time like an hour, five minutes.

1152
00:59:00.320 --> 00:59:03.639
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, we're essentially always two year olds, okay, like forever,

1153
00:59:04.000 --> 00:59:05.800
<v Speaker 5>and sometimes we just need a goddamn map and we

1154
00:59:05.920 --> 00:59:07.639
<v Speaker 5>just need to take a little nap or have like

1155
00:59:07.679 --> 00:59:08.159
<v Speaker 5>a snack.

1156
00:59:09.159 --> 00:59:13.920
<v Speaker 2>Hangar is a thing, and sometimes the root of the.

1157
00:59:13.920 --> 00:59:16.559
<v Speaker 5>Problem is just, yeah, your brain just needs a break

1158
00:59:16.840 --> 00:59:20.480
<v Speaker 5>or you're hungry, and that sounds oversimplified, but it's also true.

1159
00:59:21.079 --> 00:59:24.280
<v Speaker 5>And so sometimes if you just feel like everything's going wrong.

1160
00:59:25.400 --> 00:59:26.880
<v Speaker 5>I heard this quote a couple of weeks ago, and

1161
00:59:26.880 --> 00:59:29.679
<v Speaker 5>it was great. It was like, if you run into

1162
00:59:29.840 --> 00:59:32.599
<v Speaker 5>one asshole during the day, that person was an asshole.

1163
00:59:33.000 --> 00:59:35.679
<v Speaker 5>If you keep running the assholes all day, it's you. Yeah,

1164
00:59:35.719 --> 00:59:38.679
<v Speaker 5>you're the assle, You're the asshole. And so if you

1165
00:59:38.840 --> 00:59:41.760
<v Speaker 5>just all day everyone is just on your last nerve,

1166
00:59:42.119 --> 00:59:44.440
<v Speaker 5>it's you just go take a nap, right, It's probably

1167
00:59:44.559 --> 00:59:46.119
<v Speaker 5>you haven't had enough sleeps.

1168
00:59:46.239 --> 00:59:48.320
<v Speaker 2>So there is something to be said for going about

1169
00:59:48.360 --> 00:59:51.519
<v Speaker 2>angry and just waking up chill. I saw this one

1170
00:59:51.559 --> 00:59:54.199
<v Speaker 2>psychology website that said that the typical fight or flight

1171
00:59:54.239 --> 00:59:57.719
<v Speaker 2>response lasts about twenty minutes, and so twenty minutes of

1172
00:59:57.800 --> 01:00:01.079
<v Speaker 2>calm is just a good start to drain your brain

1173
01:00:01.159 --> 01:00:04.239
<v Speaker 2>of the panic juice, which I'm starting to realize maybe

1174
01:00:04.239 --> 01:00:09.519
<v Speaker 2>why some meditation practices recommend twenty minute stretches at a time. Now, okay,

1175
01:00:09.559 --> 01:00:11.559
<v Speaker 2>if you can't find a soft surface to peace out

1176
01:00:11.639 --> 01:00:16.360
<v Speaker 2>and dream or just breathe your fears rage away, Apparently

1177
01:00:16.559 --> 01:00:19.480
<v Speaker 2>exercise can also help you burn through some of that

1178
01:00:19.559 --> 01:00:22.800
<v Speaker 2>cortisol and epinephrine. So if you're having a day, you're

1179
01:00:22.800 --> 01:00:25.880
<v Speaker 2>having a moment, just announce I'm going to run around

1180
01:00:25.920 --> 01:00:28.920
<v Speaker 2>the parking lot a bunch to metabolize my very common

1181
01:00:29.000 --> 01:00:33.119
<v Speaker 2>chemical feelings of inadequacy. Be right back, thank you. Also,

1182
01:00:33.159 --> 01:00:34.840
<v Speaker 2>maybe take a look at what's making you have those

1183
01:00:34.880 --> 01:00:38.559
<v Speaker 2>adrenaline spikes, But do you think that there is there

1184
01:00:38.599 --> 01:00:44.679
<v Speaker 2>should maybe be a deeper look at like the way

1185
01:00:44.719 --> 01:00:48.719
<v Speaker 2>that we do scare ourselves, Like should we maybe stop

1186
01:00:48.800 --> 01:00:51.079
<v Speaker 2>looking at Twitter accounts that terrify us all the time?

1187
01:00:51.079 --> 01:00:53.800
<v Speaker 2>Should we put a cap on how much how many

1188
01:00:53.880 --> 01:00:55.760
<v Speaker 2>rabbit holes we go down or do you think that

1189
01:00:55.800 --> 01:00:57.920
<v Speaker 2>if we're going down it, we should be going down at.

1190
01:00:58.440 --> 01:01:02.719
<v Speaker 5>I think you have to like really be discerning on

1191
01:01:03.440 --> 01:01:06.320
<v Speaker 5>where you're going to spend kind of your your stress response.

1192
01:01:06.679 --> 01:01:09.599
<v Speaker 5>So we know that having a stress response all day

1193
01:01:09.599 --> 01:01:12.039
<v Speaker 5>long is really bad for you. It will kill you,

1194
01:01:12.119 --> 01:01:15.199
<v Speaker 5>Like your body is not able to take care of itself.

1195
01:01:15.440 --> 01:01:18.039
<v Speaker 5>It's not going to be mentally fun. It's not good

1196
01:01:18.039 --> 01:01:19.960
<v Speaker 5>all around. It's not good for your relationships because you're

1197
01:01:20.000 --> 01:01:23.199
<v Speaker 5>constantly like so, you're not going to have the best

1198
01:01:23.239 --> 01:01:26.079
<v Speaker 5>life if you're constantly in that state of stress and fear.

1199
01:01:26.960 --> 01:01:31.840
<v Speaker 5>So just like you can't eat all the things every

1200
01:01:31.880 --> 01:01:34.639
<v Speaker 5>minute of the day. You have to be discerning, right,

1201
01:01:35.119 --> 01:01:38.599
<v Speaker 5>It's got to be discerning on what kind of things

1202
01:01:38.599 --> 01:01:41.199
<v Speaker 5>do you want to expose yourself to, what kind of

1203
01:01:41.239 --> 01:01:45.440
<v Speaker 5>things do you want to spend your stress money on?

1204
01:01:46.480 --> 01:01:46.719
<v Speaker 2>Right?

1205
01:01:47.360 --> 01:01:51.159
<v Speaker 5>Like for me, I don't engage with people in like

1206
01:01:51.239 --> 01:01:54.000
<v Speaker 5>comment sections, and as you do media as well, and

1207
01:01:54.039 --> 01:01:56.440
<v Speaker 5>like especially when you do visual media, and as a woman,

1208
01:01:56.679 --> 01:02:00.760
<v Speaker 5>even if it's in science, people make crazy ask and

1209
01:02:00.800 --> 01:02:03.800
<v Speaker 5>you're like, seriously, you came to a science show to

1210
01:02:03.960 --> 01:02:06.440
<v Speaker 5>I'm not imedian into it, but I I'm just gonna

1211
01:02:06.480 --> 01:02:09.840
<v Speaker 5>let it go because that's not worth my stress energy.

1212
01:02:09.920 --> 01:02:14.760
<v Speaker 5>It's a finite amount of like currency that I have, and.

1213
01:02:14.719 --> 01:02:15.920
<v Speaker 2>I'm not going to spend it on that stuff.

1214
01:02:15.920 --> 01:02:18.840
<v Speaker 5>That doesn't matter if it's something I enjoy, Like I

1215
01:02:18.920 --> 01:02:22.800
<v Speaker 5>don't like horror like slasher films, but like spooky films,

1216
01:02:22.920 --> 01:02:25.360
<v Speaker 5>you know, or like psychological thrillers.

1217
01:02:24.920 --> 01:02:26.719
<v Speaker 2>And that's kind of fun. If I don't have to

1218
01:02:26.719 --> 01:02:31.800
<v Speaker 2>go to bed alone have like, oh spooky, then that's

1219
01:02:31.840 --> 01:02:32.480
<v Speaker 2>that's fun for me.

1220
01:02:32.519 --> 01:02:34.800
<v Speaker 5>So I'm gonna spend some of my my stress energy there,

1221
01:02:35.239 --> 01:02:39.079
<v Speaker 5>but that's gonna be a choice. And really it's it's

1222
01:02:39.119 --> 01:02:43.039
<v Speaker 5>about it's about choices and knowing which things are going

1223
01:02:43.079 --> 01:02:47.960
<v Speaker 5>to kind of be your stress responses and you're not

1224
01:02:47.960 --> 01:02:50.719
<v Speaker 5>going to fully manage those, but just kind of making

1225
01:02:51.039 --> 01:02:55.000
<v Speaker 5>making better choices of what is my like return on

1226
01:02:55.119 --> 01:02:58.719
<v Speaker 5>investment in this, Like you know, like we're talking about

1227
01:02:58.719 --> 01:03:02.440
<v Speaker 5>social media, going to change that person's opinion by fighting

1228
01:03:02.480 --> 01:03:07.679
<v Speaker 5>with them in the comment section, probably not right. People

1229
01:03:08.159 --> 01:03:11.920
<v Speaker 5>like cognitive bias is a thing, and and people in

1230
01:03:11.960 --> 01:03:16.039
<v Speaker 5>the comment section are not there usually to have a deep,

1231
01:03:16.760 --> 01:03:21.599
<v Speaker 5>meaningful conversation. They're there to get their anger fix, and

1232
01:03:21.679 --> 01:03:23.679
<v Speaker 5>so like for me. I'm like, I'm not gonna be

1233
01:03:23.679 --> 01:03:24.119
<v Speaker 5>your dealer.

1234
01:03:24.280 --> 01:03:26.719
<v Speaker 2>Sorry, I'm just You're gonna have to get your anger

1235
01:03:26.719 --> 01:03:30.960
<v Speaker 2>fixed somewhere else. So staying calm and super collected might

1236
01:03:31.000 --> 01:03:35.239
<v Speaker 2>be the cruelest response. And then, to quote the wisdom

1237
01:03:35.320 --> 01:03:38.800
<v Speaker 2>of ancient East Coast philosophy, forget about it.

1238
01:03:39.320 --> 01:03:42.159
<v Speaker 5>And when you have like rumination, when you have like

1239
01:03:42.519 --> 01:03:45.519
<v Speaker 5>fear and anger that don't have an outlet, then you

1240
01:03:45.599 --> 01:03:46.960
<v Speaker 5>just keep cycling in your body.

1241
01:03:47.000 --> 01:03:48.519
<v Speaker 2>You're just like, I'm gonna hold onto this and.

1242
01:03:48.480 --> 01:03:51.519
<v Speaker 5>Just get more angry and more, you know, like frustrated

1243
01:03:51.639 --> 01:03:53.719
<v Speaker 5>or fearful about things.

1244
01:03:53.480 --> 01:03:56.719
<v Speaker 2>That's not serving anything. It's not doing any good.

1245
01:03:56.920 --> 01:03:57.079
<v Speaker 1>You know.

1246
01:03:57.199 --> 01:04:00.559
<v Speaker 2>I know, we don't know a whole lot about depression

1247
01:04:00.679 --> 01:04:04.119
<v Speaker 2>and anxiety. I mean, compared to the amount people suffer

1248
01:04:04.159 --> 01:04:08.440
<v Speaker 2>from it, to what we know. I think we still

1249
01:04:08.519 --> 01:04:11.280
<v Speaker 2>figure out like how SSRIs really work in the brain.

1250
01:04:12.159 --> 01:04:18.199
<v Speaker 2>How much do you think of anxiety is genetic physiological?

1251
01:04:18.239 --> 01:04:21.480
<v Speaker 2>And how much is it learned responses? Do you know

1252
01:04:21.519 --> 01:04:23.679
<v Speaker 2>what I mean? I mean, I know that cognitive behavioral

1253
01:04:23.719 --> 01:04:28.079
<v Speaker 2>therapy is super helpful and not is relearning. But I'm

1254
01:04:28.119 --> 01:04:30.159
<v Speaker 2>just curious and I can look more into this just

1255
01:04:30.199 --> 01:04:35.840
<v Speaker 2>because I thinking of my family history of anxiety. I'm

1256
01:04:35.840 --> 01:04:38.159
<v Speaker 2>wondering how much of it is just patterns of behavior.

1257
01:04:38.440 --> 01:04:41.880
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's definitely going to be a mix and with

1258
01:04:43.719 --> 01:04:46.800
<v Speaker 5>a lot of like mental health issues part of it.

1259
01:04:46.920 --> 01:04:49.559
<v Speaker 5>You know, it's going to be genetic predisposition. Take addiction right.

1260
01:04:49.599 --> 01:04:51.199
<v Speaker 5>Part of it is genetic predisposition.

1261
01:04:51.559 --> 01:04:54.000
<v Speaker 2>Part of it is going to be the environment in

1262
01:04:54.039 --> 01:04:54.880
<v Speaker 2>which you were raised.

1263
01:04:55.760 --> 01:04:57.880
<v Speaker 5>Part of it is going to be your active choices

1264
01:04:58.159 --> 01:05:00.840
<v Speaker 5>and the support system or education that you've been given

1265
01:05:01.239 --> 01:05:04.519
<v Speaker 5>around how to make different choices. So humans are so

1266
01:05:04.599 --> 01:05:07.880
<v Speaker 5>complex and this is kind of why there's no easy

1267
01:05:07.960 --> 01:05:11.880
<v Speaker 5>answer to any of these things. But there's always going

1268
01:05:11.960 --> 01:05:14.440
<v Speaker 5>to have that genetic predisposition be a part of it

1269
01:05:14.920 --> 01:05:18.639
<v Speaker 5>because we do have lineages. They just came out I think,

1270
01:05:18.679 --> 01:05:20.440
<v Speaker 5>like like a few months ago you probably saw this

1271
01:05:21.159 --> 01:05:26.920
<v Speaker 5>with like scientific evidence to support trauma gets passed on

1272
01:05:27.159 --> 01:05:30.559
<v Speaker 5>through generations and not just in utero, Like there's a

1273
01:05:30.599 --> 01:05:35.280
<v Speaker 5>genetic with a telomeres impact of trauma that gets passed

1274
01:05:35.280 --> 01:05:35.760
<v Speaker 5>through DNA.

1275
01:05:35.880 --> 01:05:38.639
<v Speaker 2>You're like, what, so if you have a trauma a lot,

1276
01:05:38.679 --> 01:05:41.960
<v Speaker 2>you're screwed. It was not even your fault, doesn't do anything.

1277
01:05:42.400 --> 01:05:45.920
<v Speaker 2>It's I just let me get my life. That is

1278
01:05:46.039 --> 01:05:48.800
<v Speaker 2>quite an inheritance, right, Like, yeah, you're like, I got

1279
01:05:48.840 --> 01:05:53.079
<v Speaker 2>shitty telomeres and some epigenetics that are boning me thanks

1280
01:05:53.079 --> 01:05:57.239
<v Speaker 2>to Grandpa. Right, So, if you listened to the Evolutionary

1281
01:05:57.239 --> 01:06:01.079
<v Speaker 2>Biology episode, you might remember some things about acqui genetics

1282
01:06:01.119 --> 01:06:05.400
<v Speaker 2>and epigenetics and gene expression, and this kind of falls

1283
01:06:05.440 --> 01:06:08.079
<v Speaker 2>in line with that. So there was a study out

1284
01:06:08.119 --> 01:06:12.079
<v Speaker 2>in the American Journal of Psychiatry in twenty fourteen, and

1285
01:06:12.119 --> 01:06:16.880
<v Speaker 2>it involved data about war survivors who suffered PTSD having

1286
01:06:17.000 --> 01:06:21.840
<v Speaker 2>children with higher methylation of a gene involved in stress response.

1287
01:06:23.320 --> 01:06:25.519
<v Speaker 2>But it was a small study. It only looked at

1288
01:06:25.559 --> 01:06:28.480
<v Speaker 2>a little slice of genes with not that many people,

1289
01:06:28.559 --> 01:06:31.440
<v Speaker 2>So some scientists say that more data needs to be gathered.

1290
01:06:31.519 --> 01:06:32.159
<v Speaker 2>We got a lot to.

1291
01:06:32.199 --> 01:06:35.360
<v Speaker 5>Learn, and a lot, especially like really big trauma on

1292
01:06:35.400 --> 01:06:37.840
<v Speaker 5>things like the Holocaust, things that we're completely out of

1293
01:06:38.239 --> 01:06:43.000
<v Speaker 5>those individuals control. It continues to get passed down in generations.

1294
01:06:44.119 --> 01:06:46.199
<v Speaker 5>So I mean, with the brain, there's still so much

1295
01:06:46.199 --> 01:06:48.159
<v Speaker 5>we don't know and we're kind of still scratching the

1296
01:06:48.159 --> 01:06:51.840
<v Speaker 5>surface of understanding, like learned fears. We still don't quite

1297
01:06:51.880 --> 01:06:55.239
<v Speaker 5>know how that works, of why someone you know learns

1298
01:06:55.280 --> 01:06:57.360
<v Speaker 5>to be afraid of water because something happened when they're

1299
01:06:57.400 --> 01:06:58.440
<v Speaker 5>a kid, and then you have.

1300
01:06:58.440 --> 01:06:59.519
<v Speaker 2>Other people that love water.

1301
01:07:00.360 --> 01:07:02.280
<v Speaker 5>So there's still like a lot of research to be

1302
01:07:02.320 --> 01:07:06.519
<v Speaker 5>done on that end, but it's definitely passed on both

1303
01:07:06.920 --> 01:07:10.639
<v Speaker 5>I think genetically as well as behaviorally, because how do

1304
01:07:10.480 --> 01:07:12.880
<v Speaker 5>you learn how to be a human for your parents

1305
01:07:12.920 --> 01:07:15.039
<v Speaker 5>in your family, Like, especially when you're young and and

1306
01:07:15.079 --> 01:07:16.800
<v Speaker 5>really impressionable, like how do I human?

1307
01:07:17.239 --> 01:07:20.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh? That's how I human? Okay, And that's so.

1308
01:07:20.880 --> 01:07:24.000
<v Speaker 5>Deeply imprinted that even when you start to learn new behaviors,

1309
01:07:24.440 --> 01:07:26.320
<v Speaker 5>it's not going to be as powerful as what was

1310
01:07:26.320 --> 01:07:29.760
<v Speaker 5>imprinted when you were young. So depending on what kind

1311
01:07:29.760 --> 01:07:33.039
<v Speaker 5>of you know, shake of the dice you got, that's

1312
01:07:33.039 --> 01:07:35.320
<v Speaker 5>going to have a huge impact on how you're going

1313
01:07:35.400 --> 01:07:38.440
<v Speaker 5>to like express yourself as an adult.

1314
01:07:38.719 --> 01:07:42.079
<v Speaker 2>But it's interesting to me that like learning about how

1315
01:07:42.159 --> 01:07:45.039
<v Speaker 2>much of our fears, especially in the Western world or

1316
01:07:45.400 --> 01:07:47.559
<v Speaker 2>you know, in a in a you know, big city

1317
01:07:47.599 --> 01:07:54.719
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, are fictional, gives me more faith in pursuing

1318
01:07:54.760 --> 01:07:57.400
<v Speaker 2>more like cognitive behavioral tactics. I think there's at some

1319
01:07:57.559 --> 01:08:00.880
<v Speaker 2>point I think you kind of just surrend teer anxiety

1320
01:08:00.920 --> 01:08:03.039
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, well, I'm an anxious person. Like I

1321
01:08:03.719 --> 01:08:06.119
<v Speaker 2>got diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder, and I was

1322
01:08:06.159 --> 01:08:08.039
<v Speaker 2>like a few years ago, and I was like, oh,

1323
01:08:08.079 --> 01:08:10.880
<v Speaker 2>that's why I'm constantly worried about like living under a bridge.

1324
01:08:10.920 --> 01:08:13.159
<v Speaker 2>That's why I'm always afraid of being a failure or something.

1325
01:08:13.559 --> 01:08:15.159
<v Speaker 2>And so I think I at some point I kind

1326
01:08:15.159 --> 01:08:16.640
<v Speaker 2>of was like, well, I got a diagnosis, so I'm

1327
01:08:16.640 --> 01:08:18.800
<v Speaker 2>surrendering to it. Yeah, Like it's who I am. And

1328
01:08:18.840 --> 01:08:20.840
<v Speaker 2>it's interesting to hear about you talk about it in

1329
01:08:20.840 --> 01:08:24.079
<v Speaker 2>that way because I'm like, oh, I'm there are steps

1330
01:08:24.079 --> 01:08:26.479
<v Speaker 2>that I just don't take because I just think, like,

1331
01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:29.239
<v Speaker 2>this is my lot and life. Like it'd be like

1332
01:08:29.239 --> 01:08:31.239
<v Speaker 2>if you were a diabetic and you're like, well, why

1333
01:08:31.439 --> 01:08:35.039
<v Speaker 2>bother taking insulin? I'm diabetic, you know what I mean.

1334
01:08:35.159 --> 01:08:37.880
<v Speaker 2>You're like, I'm like, I have more power to actually

1335
01:08:37.960 --> 01:08:41.119
<v Speaker 2>change things than I probably have given myself credit for,

1336
01:08:41.279 --> 01:08:43.520
<v Speaker 2>you know what I mean. I think I And I

1337
01:08:43.560 --> 01:08:46.199
<v Speaker 2>think it's interesting because I feel like the more people

1338
01:08:46.279 --> 01:08:49.279
<v Speaker 2>open up about fear and anxiety and stress, the more

1339
01:08:49.319 --> 01:08:51.279
<v Speaker 2>you find out a lot of other people have it.

1340
01:08:52.000 --> 01:08:54.279
<v Speaker 2>And it's there's something really tragic about that because that

1341
01:08:54.279 --> 01:08:56.520
<v Speaker 2>means a lot of us struggle with it and none

1342
01:08:56.520 --> 01:08:59.640
<v Speaker 2>of us know what to do to self soothe in

1343
01:08:59.640 --> 01:09:03.880
<v Speaker 2>the moment, like we just it's we're just not equipped.

1344
01:09:04.079 --> 01:09:06.840
<v Speaker 2>We weren't given that. That's so that's so fascinating. I'm

1345
01:09:06.840 --> 01:09:10.079
<v Speaker 2>going to remember that. Yeah, all right, Yeah, super helpful.

1346
01:09:10.159 --> 01:09:12.760
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, and it's and it's one of those things that

1347
01:09:13.640 --> 01:09:17.720
<v Speaker 5>you know, like having professional therapy can be super super helpful,

1348
01:09:17.720 --> 01:09:19.840
<v Speaker 5>but that's only maybe once a week, maybe twice a week,

1349
01:09:20.359 --> 01:09:24.079
<v Speaker 5>and we feel fear every damn day. So we need

1350
01:09:24.119 --> 01:09:26.439
<v Speaker 5>things that are gonna be easy to remember when our

1351
01:09:26.520 --> 01:09:28.800
<v Speaker 5>higher functions are just shutting down. Yeah, then we can

1352
01:09:28.840 --> 01:09:30.920
<v Speaker 5>put in our pocket and be like, Okay, I'm gonna

1353
01:09:30.960 --> 01:09:33.079
<v Speaker 5>I'm gonna pull this out and I'm gonna pull myself

1354
01:09:33.119 --> 01:09:34.319
<v Speaker 5>out of this.

1355
01:09:34.800 --> 01:09:37.279
<v Speaker 2>Like fear storm. And that empowers us.

1356
01:09:37.359 --> 01:09:39.640
<v Speaker 5>That makes us like not feel like we're just the

1357
01:09:39.680 --> 01:09:42.960
<v Speaker 5>whims of our brain exactly that you know, our brain's.

1358
01:09:42.720 --> 01:09:45.439
<v Speaker 2>Just gonna be like I do what I want. And

1359
01:09:45.479 --> 01:09:47.600
<v Speaker 2>the other thing is, especially if you're having I fear

1360
01:09:47.720 --> 01:09:50.560
<v Speaker 2>can be divided, If fictional fears can be divided into

1361
01:09:50.840 --> 01:09:53.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm not good enough or I'm out of control, I

1362
01:09:53.760 --> 01:09:59.720
<v Speaker 2>think that feeling like embarrassed that you're afraid, we're ashamed

1363
01:09:59.760 --> 01:10:04.359
<v Speaker 2>that you your fear made you angry. That only triggers

1364
01:10:04.439 --> 01:10:06.159
<v Speaker 2>more of that I'm not good enough and I'm out

1365
01:10:06.159 --> 01:10:08.119
<v Speaker 2>of control because I'm not in control of my emotions

1366
01:10:08.159 --> 01:10:12.000
<v Speaker 2>and I'm a huge turd for feeling angry and afraid.

1367
01:10:12.199 --> 01:10:14.800
<v Speaker 2>And now I'm even worse because I'm ashamed that I'm

1368
01:10:14.840 --> 01:10:16.600
<v Speaker 2>angry and afraid, you know what I mean. So it's

1369
01:10:16.720 --> 01:10:20.680
<v Speaker 2>just like it really spirals down so quickly. It's like

1370
01:10:20.720 --> 01:10:24.760
<v Speaker 2>the song that never ends? Is that down? How do

1371
01:10:24.880 --> 01:10:25.800
<v Speaker 2>I turn you off?

1372
01:10:26.359 --> 01:10:26.439
<v Speaker 6>So?

1373
01:10:27.399 --> 01:10:31.439
<v Speaker 2>Who? If you're an alive human, you probably related to

1374
01:10:31.479 --> 01:10:33.159
<v Speaker 2>a lot of this and you're like, wait, there's so

1375
01:10:33.319 --> 01:10:36.279
<v Speaker 2>much more I need to know, But don't fear Part

1376
01:10:36.359 --> 01:10:38.960
<v Speaker 2>two is here, while it will be next week. So

1377
01:10:39.119 --> 01:10:41.920
<v Speaker 2>I broke this episode into two. I made Mary talk

1378
01:10:41.920 --> 01:10:44.800
<v Speaker 2>to me in my couch for so long. I'm obsessed

1379
01:10:44.880 --> 01:10:48.199
<v Speaker 2>with her work now. So stay tuned next week to

1380
01:10:48.279 --> 01:10:51.800
<v Speaker 2>hear about Mary's own personal moments of greatest fear and

1381
01:10:51.880 --> 01:10:53.920
<v Speaker 2>what she did and when it taught her, as well

1382
01:10:53.960 --> 01:10:56.680
<v Speaker 2>as a ton of really good questions sent in from

1383
01:10:56.760 --> 01:11:01.239
<v Speaker 2>your own inquisitive brains, which Mary will answer. Meanwhile, you

1384
01:11:01.239 --> 01:11:06.840
<v Speaker 2>can find Mary online at www. Marypoffanroth dot com. She's

1385
01:11:06.880 --> 01:11:12.600
<v Speaker 2>on Facebook at Marypoffinroth. She's also on Twitter at Marypoffinroth Instagram,

1386
01:11:12.640 --> 01:11:17.000
<v Speaker 2>though her handle is fear forward, so gently stalk her.

1387
01:11:17.439 --> 01:11:20.880
<v Speaker 2>This podcast is at Ologies on Instagram and Twitter. I'm

1388
01:11:21.000 --> 01:11:23.920
<v Speaker 2>at Ali Ward with one L on Instagram and Twitter.

1389
01:11:24.279 --> 01:11:27.119
<v Speaker 2>You can pick up Ologies shirts and pins and totes

1390
01:11:27.479 --> 01:11:32.560
<v Speaker 2>at the newly designed ologiesmerch dot com site. We have birdpins,

1391
01:11:32.760 --> 01:11:36.359
<v Speaker 2>bug pins, clockpins. We just got in this week these

1392
01:11:36.600 --> 01:11:40.560
<v Speaker 2>cosmetology pins and they are glittery. They're eight bucks. So

1393
01:11:40.680 --> 01:11:43.039
<v Speaker 2>much cuteness, so go to ologiesmerch dot com for that.

1394
01:11:43.319 --> 01:11:45.479
<v Speaker 2>Thank you Bonnie Dutch and Shannon Felts for helping with

1395
01:11:45.520 --> 01:11:48.399
<v Speaker 2>the merch site. You can join the Ologies Facebook group

1396
01:11:48.439 --> 01:11:52.159
<v Speaker 2>if you like nice people. Thanks Hannah Lippo and Aaron

1397
01:11:52.199 --> 01:11:55.600
<v Speaker 2>Talbert for admitting. And thank you Steven ray Morris for

1398
01:11:55.640 --> 01:12:00.840
<v Speaker 2>the lastest minute editing ever. You're a champion. Also, happy

1399
01:12:00.840 --> 01:12:03.680
<v Speaker 2>belated birthday Stephen ray Morris. It was last Tuesday. Thank

1400
01:12:03.720 --> 01:12:07.439
<v Speaker 2>you for existing. The music was written by Nick Thorburn

1401
01:12:07.479 --> 01:12:10.199
<v Speaker 2>of the band Islands, And if you stick around through

1402
01:12:10.199 --> 01:12:14.640
<v Speaker 2>the credits, you know you get a secret. I'm just

1403
01:12:14.680 --> 01:12:19.199
<v Speaker 2>gonna tell you that this is so dumb. So this

1404
01:12:19.359 --> 01:12:23.239
<v Speaker 2>whole two part episode is about fear and stress. This weekend,

1405
01:12:23.279 --> 01:12:25.760
<v Speaker 2>I was on a tiny vacation with some of my

1406
01:12:25.760 --> 01:12:29.960
<v Speaker 2>best girlfriends I've known since I was twelve, and I

1407
01:12:30.039 --> 01:12:33.680
<v Speaker 2>had to get the audio uploaded, and the Wi Fi

1408
01:12:33.960 --> 01:12:37.039
<v Speaker 2>at the airbnb we're staying at was the slowest ever.

1409
01:12:37.319 --> 01:12:39.680
<v Speaker 2>Like this will not mean anything to most people, but

1410
01:12:39.720 --> 01:12:42.720
<v Speaker 2>it was point two four megabytes per second upload speed,

1411
01:12:42.760 --> 01:12:45.119
<v Speaker 2>which if that, if you deal at all with any

1412
01:12:45.640 --> 01:12:48.359
<v Speaker 2>uploading of anything, you know that that is just that's

1413
01:12:48.479 --> 01:12:53.560
<v Speaker 2>like tear inducingly slow. Anyway, I finally went to a library.

1414
01:12:53.760 --> 01:12:56.600
<v Speaker 2>Shout out to public libraries, y'all have fast, free Wi

1415
01:12:56.680 --> 01:12:59.960
<v Speaker 2>Fi and I love you. But my poor girlfriends I've

1416
01:13:00.079 --> 01:13:04.640
<v Speaker 2>own us since high school had to watch me freaking

1417
01:13:04.640 --> 01:13:07.319
<v Speaker 2>out trying to upload this episode all about fear and

1418
01:13:07.359 --> 01:13:12.159
<v Speaker 2>this rest response. So it's uploaded, and I had to

1419
01:13:12.199 --> 01:13:15.840
<v Speaker 2>ask myself why am I freaking out right now? And

1420
01:13:15.880 --> 01:13:18.279
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I'm afraid I'm not good enough because

1421
01:13:18.279 --> 01:13:21.000
<v Speaker 2>I didn't upload this earlier, and what if this episode

1422
01:13:21.039 --> 01:13:24.279
<v Speaker 2>isn't good enough and no one listens anymore? So there

1423
01:13:24.279 --> 01:13:26.520
<v Speaker 2>you go. There's my secret for the week you guys.

1424
01:13:26.720 --> 01:13:29.359
<v Speaker 2>Real life fears. What if I'm not good enough? What

1425
01:13:29.359 --> 01:13:32.119
<v Speaker 2>if this isn't good enough all because of slow upload speeds.

1426
01:13:32.319 --> 01:13:35.760
<v Speaker 2>So anyway, think about what you're afraid about. We'll have

1427
01:13:35.800 --> 01:13:39.399
<v Speaker 2>more next week. This is a it's a what a

1428
01:13:39.399 --> 01:13:42.800
<v Speaker 2>great two parter. It's kind of like free therapy, even

1429
01:13:42.880 --> 01:13:45.840
<v Speaker 2>though I think I'm supposed to say a disclaimer about

1430
01:13:45.920 --> 01:13:48.439
<v Speaker 2>that this is not intended to diagnose or treat anything,

1431
01:13:48.439 --> 01:13:51.319
<v Speaker 2>and you should get professional health for everything because the

1432
01:13:51.399 --> 01:13:55.239
<v Speaker 2>podcasts aren't allowed to fix anything. But it's very helpful nonetheless. Okay,

1433
01:13:55.680 --> 01:13:57.199
<v Speaker 2>pretty deep, and I'll.

1434
01:13:57.279 --> 01:14:09.119
<v Speaker 6>Pack a German college hommeology, cryptos lithology, meteorology, theology, theology, seriology.

1435
01:14:17.840 --> 01:14:22.600
<v Speaker 2>This is the song that doesn't and get value you

1436
01:14:22.680 --> 01:14:25.680
<v Speaker 2>can't argue with. At Tesco, with their amazing club card prices,

1437
01:14:26.039 --> 01:14:28.359
<v Speaker 2>have the perfect night in with their finest frozen pizza

1438
01:14:28.439 --> 01:14:31.119
<v Speaker 2>meal deal. Get the finest frozen pizza, chips and ice

1439
01:14:31.199 --> 01:14:34.479
<v Speaker 2>cream all for six euro like our delicious spicy salami,

1440
01:14:34.560 --> 01:14:37.359
<v Speaker 2>hot honey and do you or Margarito wood fired pizzas

1441
01:14:37.640 --> 01:14:40.439
<v Speaker 2>served up with their crispy chunkie chips and ice cream

1442
01:14:40.520 --> 01:14:43.840
<v Speaker 2>like sea salta caramel or pistachio for dessert can't argue

1443
01:14:43.880 --> 01:14:47.720
<v Speaker 2>with that shop in store or online. Tesco every little

1444
01:14:47.760 --> 01:14:50.439
<v Speaker 2>helps available in most stories. Prices varying, Express