WEBVTT 1 00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:08.759 Let me finish. This is the first time I committed 2 00:00:08.800 --> 00:00:14.240 a hate crime. Maybe they'll jerk my dick off for it, 3 00:00:14.839 --> 00:00:21.359 you know, like something like that. Yeah, probably we've disgusted. 4 00:00:21.399 --> 00:00:26.960 I'm associate Bath, you're thras. 5 00:00:27.079 --> 00:00:30.760 Did my shit put any trash ship? 6 00:00:36.719 --> 00:00:44.799 You're a worst friend, the. 7 00:00:44.840 --> 00:00:47.280 One to know why you're all fucked up. Just look 8 00:00:47.280 --> 00:00:49.880 at the fucking problems to hang around with. You're listening 9 00:00:49.880 --> 00:00:51.679 to your worst friend of Shane and Matt. I'm Matt 10 00:00:51.679 --> 00:00:54.079 and I'm joined today by my friend and co host Shane. 11 00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:57.280 What's up y'all? Breaking Bad fans? Have you heard of 12 00:00:57.280 --> 00:00:58.240 the show Breaking Bad? 13 00:00:59.119 --> 00:01:02.719 Nope, never heard of it. 14 00:01:02.719 --> 00:01:05.640 It's good. Check it out. It's on AMC or something. 15 00:01:07.840 --> 00:01:10.760 What was your analysis of today's show? We are recording 16 00:01:10.799 --> 00:01:12.040 the intro post show. 17 00:01:12.680 --> 00:01:16.079 My analysis of today's show. There's a lot of good 18 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:19.879 advice for how to deal with the holidays. There's recipes, 19 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:25.640 there's uh, there's there's love, there's uh, there's heartfelt moments, 20 00:01:25.640 --> 00:01:29.120 there's funny parts. So it's like, uh, it's kind of 21 00:01:29.159 --> 00:01:33.239 like a holiday movie, right, like like Home Alone three. 22 00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.359 You know, it's like there's all these funny parts, there's 23 00:01:36.400 --> 00:01:39.200 all these adventurous parts. There's these really smart parts, like 24 00:01:39.239 --> 00:01:41.439 what the traps he sets, But at the end of 25 00:01:41.480 --> 00:01:45.319 the day, it's really heartfelt, emotional. It's a personal story 26 00:01:45.319 --> 00:01:47.760 about a little kid with chicken pox and how much 27 00:01:47.799 --> 00:01:48.599 he loves his neighbor. 28 00:01:49.879 --> 00:01:53.560 Literally all of that is in the Patreon and none 29 00:01:53.560 --> 00:01:56.239 of that is in this episode you're about to listen to. 30 00:01:56.359 --> 00:02:00.959 So enjoy. All right, I started making a list. I 31 00:02:01.079 --> 00:02:05.840 am this kind of I'm in full war mode right now. 32 00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:10.680 Okay, oh okay? Is that is that like an illusioned? 33 00:02:11.080 --> 00:02:15.520 Is this like a some sort of analogy that I 34 00:02:15.560 --> 00:02:16.039 should know? 35 00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:16.280 Like? 36 00:02:16.319 --> 00:02:19.879 What is war mode in regards to Matt's list? 37 00:02:20.479 --> 00:02:20.960 Oh? 38 00:02:21.360 --> 00:02:22.520 Different hit list? 39 00:02:22.879 --> 00:02:25.400 No, no, no, no, no, no, different people that I 40 00:02:25.439 --> 00:02:28.319 have to target for different reasons to do different things 41 00:02:28.319 --> 00:02:31.199 to them because they have spied me in some way 42 00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:33.560 or something I didn't like about them. 43 00:02:33.719 --> 00:02:36.439 What are you trying to, Like, you get inspired so 44 00:02:36.520 --> 00:02:38.520 you can pin a sequel to Dirty Work? 45 00:02:39.240 --> 00:02:42.599 No, I'm trying to get people fired from their jobs 46 00:02:42.639 --> 00:02:44.159 and possibly kill themselves. 47 00:02:44.599 --> 00:02:47.719 Yeah it sounds like just a more edgy dirty Work. 48 00:02:48.639 --> 00:02:51.400 Yeah, it's like a twenty twenty four dirty Work like 49 00:02:51.439 --> 00:02:55.400 The Crow. Well, I haven't watched it yet whoa we 50 00:02:55.479 --> 00:02:56.599 did a few weeks ago. 51 00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:58.719 Oh was that a piece of shit? 52 00:02:58.759 --> 00:03:02.840 It looks like it that movie, I mean, such a 53 00:03:02.840 --> 00:03:06.719 piece of shit. I just fresh out of a dog's ass, 54 00:03:06.759 --> 00:03:11.120 fucking slightly wet, like a sixty percent moisture content shit 55 00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:15.800 like the consistency of fresh mozzarella, just kind of but 56 00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:19.680 a little more like goofy pouring out of the ass 57 00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:23.199 of a fucking small dog with bowel sickness. 58 00:03:23.560 --> 00:03:27.599 That's a that's like a big meal movie, like not 59 00:03:27.599 --> 00:03:29.680 not eating, but that's like, if I'm going to be 60 00:03:29.719 --> 00:03:32.800 cooking a big meal that requires my attention, have that 61 00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:35.319 shit on in the background, and I'll just every time 62 00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:37.400 something really stupid happens, I'll notice it. 63 00:03:37.439 --> 00:03:43.360 You know that, I'm pretty good at doing something mindless 64 00:03:43.439 --> 00:03:47.080 while listening to a movie or something, you know, so 65 00:03:47.159 --> 00:03:48.840 I can like absorb a out of it. And I 66 00:03:48.879 --> 00:03:51.159 remember I was editing something, and when I edit, I 67 00:03:51.240 --> 00:03:54.479 keep one headphone in here. When I'm doing the interview show, 68 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:57.439 I keep one headphone in, but I'm reading the text 69 00:03:57.520 --> 00:04:01.039 to cut along with the transcription of it, basically, sure, 70 00:04:02.000 --> 00:04:05.280 and I'm basically paying attention to the entire Crow movie. 71 00:04:05.400 --> 00:04:09.800 The whole time, and it's that nuanced huh. 72 00:04:09.879 --> 00:04:13.680 It's so it was just it was just it was nothing. 73 00:04:13.840 --> 00:04:17.720 It was just gunk. It's just drag. It's just nothing. 74 00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:19.120 It was sitting there, you know. 75 00:04:19.920 --> 00:04:23.639 Yeah. I mean I don't even really like the original 76 00:04:23.680 --> 00:04:26.439 Crow that much, but I appreciate that it has like 77 00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:29.360 a cult fandom. I watched it maybe a year ago. 78 00:04:29.720 --> 00:04:31.519 That's why I'm a big rust fan. 79 00:04:32.600 --> 00:04:38.920 Because oh oh yeah the Baldwin movie. Yeah yeah, it's 80 00:04:38.920 --> 00:04:46.279 this similar, similar mishap on set. But the Crow, the 81 00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:51.160 original Crow was objectively like an interesting premise, right, It's like, 82 00:04:51.199 --> 00:04:54.079 what is it? It's like he's reincarnated after his girl 83 00:04:54.120 --> 00:04:56.639 gets fucking raped to death and he goes on a 84 00:04:56.680 --> 00:05:02.600 revenge free He's also got a crow ghost attached to 85 00:05:02.680 --> 00:05:07.560 him or something, and it's got what is that, Michael Wincott, 86 00:05:08.199 --> 00:05:11.279 That that really squinty eyed bad guy who's got like 87 00:05:11.319 --> 00:05:18.120 a uh uh, Christopher Lambert style Highlander wig. It's like 88 00:05:18.199 --> 00:05:20.399 such a stupid villain. Is the Crow is not a 89 00:05:20.399 --> 00:05:20.920 good movie? 90 00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:22.439 What we're talking about? 91 00:05:22.600 --> 00:05:23.079 He's in. 92 00:05:24.519 --> 00:05:25.319 What else? Was he in? 93 00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:29.360 Was he in Alien Resurrection? Yeah? What else? 94 00:05:29.480 --> 00:05:32.800 Robinhood, Prince of Thieves. It looks like Three Musketeers is 95 00:05:32.800 --> 00:05:34.600 a good movie. I haven't seen that since I was little. 96 00:05:35.040 --> 00:05:35.920 Yeah, it's not bad. 97 00:05:36.120 --> 00:05:38.240 It's kind of fun from what I remember. Isn't the 98 00:05:38.279 --> 00:05:40.959 fat one in that? Isn't I have that guy? 99 00:05:41.160 --> 00:05:43.319 You know, that fat Andre that John Candy? 100 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:47.959 No, Oliver one of those guys. 101 00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:52.360 Oliver Platt is such a great like, uh if if 102 00:05:52.399 --> 00:05:54.040 you and I didn't know movies, we would know his 103 00:05:54.120 --> 00:05:57.279 fucking name. But he is such a good, like forgettable 104 00:05:57.480 --> 00:06:01.319 side character actor. He's so great if you need like 105 00:06:01.759 --> 00:06:06.560 a historian to do like four scenes and and give 106 00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:09.319 you the intel on like the bad guys and their 107 00:06:09.399 --> 00:06:12.120 belief system and all this shit, or you know, the 108 00:06:12.800 --> 00:06:15.680 ancient ruine writing. But you don't. You don't want to 109 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:18.680 see him like kiss somebody or get his dick sucked. 110 00:06:18.920 --> 00:06:20.680 He's an exposition character. 111 00:06:21.240 --> 00:06:22.319 Yeah great. 112 00:06:22.519 --> 00:06:24.920 He's great for showing up and being like that's what 113 00:06:25.079 --> 00:06:26.560 and you know what he's good at with a couple 114 00:06:26.560 --> 00:06:28.199 of quippie lines and shit too. 115 00:06:28.319 --> 00:06:30.240 Oh yeah, yeah, he can give him an attitude. 116 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:34.199 This is a big time Oliver Platt fucking podcast. Okay, 117 00:06:34.360 --> 00:06:37.199 we're big ups Oliver Platt old day long. 118 00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:39.399 Yeah, let's see if we can get Oliver Platt on 119 00:06:39.480 --> 00:06:41.160 here for the finale. 120 00:06:42.279 --> 00:06:45.439 Gentlemen, we present to you Oliver Platt, and we just 121 00:06:45.480 --> 00:06:46.839 have him do the aultro to. 122 00:06:47.480 --> 00:06:52.480 First question was that you and flat liners ask him things. 123 00:06:52.680 --> 00:06:54.800 Hey, was that you and that one? And goes, yeah, 124 00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:57.199 you go, man, Keefer was great in that, right, he's 125 00:06:57.240 --> 00:06:59.560 just pointing out whoever the lead was that was really 126 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:00.600 great in that movie. 127 00:07:00.720 --> 00:07:03.759 Man, they put you in there with Keefer, Kevin Bacon 128 00:07:03.959 --> 00:07:07.879 and Julia Roberts. God damn, you must have shipped your 129 00:07:07.879 --> 00:07:09.319 pants the first day of shooting. 130 00:07:09.399 --> 00:07:13.279 Huh, Oliver, Oliver, really wonderful to have you on here. Now, 131 00:07:13.800 --> 00:07:16.399 let me ask you. You did Three Musketeers with Keefer 132 00:07:16.439 --> 00:07:19.879 Sutherland and Charlie Sheen. Did you know Keifer Sutherland was 133 00:07:19.920 --> 00:07:23.279 just a terrible alcoholic and Charlie Sheen would eventually get aids. 134 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:24.839 Oh you did? Oh? 135 00:07:24.920 --> 00:07:27.879 Oh, I was just going to promote The Bear season 136 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:31.800 two on DVD. Oh you're in the Bear, Yeah he is. 137 00:07:31.920 --> 00:07:32.160 Yeah. 138 00:07:32.639 --> 00:07:35.360 Oh yeah, we're still on the interview. You're in that. 139 00:07:35.600 --> 00:07:39.120 Oh sure, we haven't checked any of his new roles 140 00:07:39.199 --> 00:07:40.839 or any of his new credits. We're still we're on 141 00:07:40.920 --> 00:07:41.920 nineteen ninety six. 142 00:07:43.560 --> 00:07:45.680 Nice, what's that, like, you get paid for that or 143 00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:46.639 what is it? 144 00:07:47.079 --> 00:07:49.399 I just assume you're kind of like Danny Treyhoe. You 145 00:07:49.480 --> 00:07:50.399 just do everything. 146 00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:53.920 Now, Yeah, what was it? I saw someone put out 147 00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:56.439 a podcast, maybe they interviewed Danny Treyhoe or something, but 148 00:07:56.480 --> 00:08:01.959 they said Danny Trejo's tattoo is more recognnisible than him. 149 00:08:02.040 --> 00:08:04.240 I don't, I don't. I don't know anymore, but for 150 00:08:04.480 --> 00:08:05.680 a long long time. 151 00:08:05.800 --> 00:08:07.439 Yeah, boy, who was. 152 00:08:07.439 --> 00:08:09.639 That guy with that tattoo on his chest. 153 00:08:09.600 --> 00:08:11.399 In con Air? He was definitely the guy with the 154 00:08:11.399 --> 00:08:12.399 tattoo on his chest. 155 00:08:13.240 --> 00:08:16.920 That's a new Swedish novel coming along. The guy with 156 00:08:17.000 --> 00:08:20.839 the tattoo on his chest follow I don't know that broad. 157 00:08:20.879 --> 00:08:22.959 That was a hacker or rapist or whatever. 158 00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:27.279 The girl with the fucking tattoo. Yeah, girl with the 159 00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:28.160 fucking tattoo. 160 00:08:28.360 --> 00:08:28.839 Tattoo? 161 00:08:29.639 --> 00:08:31.680 Did you uh? Did you know die Hard as a 162 00:08:31.759 --> 00:08:33.679 novel before as a movie? 163 00:08:34.039 --> 00:08:34.799 No? Really? 164 00:08:35.120 --> 00:08:38.039 Yeah, isn't that dumb? Yeah, that's really dumb. 165 00:08:38.120 --> 00:08:41.480 He's been right. He walks around the fucking he climbs 166 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:42.679 through the things a lot. 167 00:08:43.080 --> 00:08:47.120 He ran over the glass and it was really pointy. 168 00:08:47.639 --> 00:08:51.279 Imagine you pictured like some hard ass cop not having 169 00:08:51.320 --> 00:08:53.679 like the charisma of a Bruce Willis as you're reading 170 00:08:53.720 --> 00:08:58.559 that this is the most boring fucking yippie kaye, motherfucker. 171 00:08:58.600 --> 00:09:00.679 He's been so straight laced the whole time. 172 00:09:01.279 --> 00:09:03.639 Yeah, I never read the book, so it could be 173 00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:09.240 like I think it's kind of like an imitation Tom Clancy. Okay, 174 00:09:09.600 --> 00:09:12.519 but I've never read it, so I can't really comment. 175 00:09:12.600 --> 00:09:16.679 But uh, the the idea like certain kind of like 176 00:09:16.720 --> 00:09:20.559 an adventure book is exciting, right, like if people are 177 00:09:20.600 --> 00:09:23.720 like solving puzzles like the Da Vinci Code. I don't 178 00:09:23.759 --> 00:09:25.799 like the da Vinci Code, but I get why people 179 00:09:25.960 --> 00:09:29.200 like it. It's an adventure right, It's like Indiana Jones. 180 00:09:29.879 --> 00:09:32.960 But I can't like the I can't just get into 181 00:09:33.000 --> 00:09:35.600 the idea of like I've never been compelled to read 182 00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:39.679 a Tom Clancy book or a Rogue Warrior novel, like 183 00:09:40.120 --> 00:09:44.399 the idea of just reading like action scenes and tactical 184 00:09:44.639 --> 00:09:46.960 warshit like I'm good. 185 00:09:47.240 --> 00:09:51.320 Yeah, I bet the guys that know that stuff though, 186 00:09:51.759 --> 00:09:54.639 like in depth, love those things, isn't Isn't that what 187 00:09:54.679 --> 00:09:58.519 Clancy was known for being like so accurate with a lot. 188 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:00.639 But I think now he's a ghost, right? 189 00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:01.440 Is he alive? 190 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:05.120 I don't know. I think that now Tom Clancy is 191 00:10:05.120 --> 00:10:07.559 at I think he is a name that he's sold. 192 00:10:08.399 --> 00:10:10.039 No, he died in twenty thirteen. 193 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:12.279 Do people still write under his name? 194 00:10:12.799 --> 00:10:14.720 I'll look it up. That's a good question. But I 195 00:10:14.759 --> 00:10:17.440 think what you're thinking of James Patterson does that a lot. 196 00:10:17.720 --> 00:10:21.080 James Patterson has a lot of co authors, and apparently 197 00:10:21.600 --> 00:10:24.320 they write the books. He looks them over and then 198 00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:26.679 slaps his name on it. That's why I think he's 199 00:10:26.720 --> 00:10:30.200 actually the ritt. No, it's probably JK. Rowling Ox honestly. 200 00:10:30.279 --> 00:10:33.919 But Patterson is, like, I think, above Stephen King for 201 00:10:34.039 --> 00:10:35.200 richest authors. 202 00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:38.519 Oh oh, I believe that. Yeah, I've seen so many 203 00:10:38.799 --> 00:10:41.480 James Patterson. Like you go to uh a good will 204 00:10:42.200 --> 00:10:45.799 and they'll have like two racks of books. One of 205 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:48.840 the racks is half Patterson half Stephen King. 206 00:10:49.120 --> 00:10:51.240 All right, give me an estimate on the net worth 207 00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:53.559 for which one is Patterson. 208 00:10:53.759 --> 00:10:55.519 Uh two hundred and fifty million. 209 00:10:55.679 --> 00:10:58.039 Okay, give me an estimate on the net worth of 210 00:10:58.120 --> 00:11:03.919 Stephen King eighty million, Stephen King four hundred million. Holy shit, 211 00:11:04.559 --> 00:11:10.720 James Patterson just double that number eight million dollars. James 212 00:11:10.759 --> 00:11:14.240 Patterson from writing what shitting Andrew likes. 213 00:11:14.759 --> 00:11:16.840 Two Morgan Freeman adaptations. 214 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:19.000 Okay along, Chemi Spider was good. 215 00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:20.879 Though, Yes, the Girl's really good too. 216 00:11:20.960 --> 00:11:23.080 Yeah, I like that one too. They're pretty sick. Actually, 217 00:11:23.399 --> 00:11:25.519 I kind of like those movies. We've talked about it. 218 00:11:25.559 --> 00:11:26.879 I don't know if we talked about it on air 219 00:11:26.960 --> 00:11:28.840 or off air, and we've probably talked about on air, 220 00:11:28.879 --> 00:11:31.960 but I like those movies to those though, oh yeah 221 00:11:32.000 --> 00:11:33.799 we did, because last week I think we talked about. 222 00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:36.360 The Jackal right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 223 00:11:36.399 --> 00:11:39.799 I like those kind of like the crime like psychological 224 00:11:40.200 --> 00:11:43.320 type things and oh god, he set us up, you know. 225 00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.240 Like the ultimate example is seven, I think in terms of. 226 00:11:46.200 --> 00:11:48.039 I was just thinking seven. 227 00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:51.240 Yeah, like the best done one is seven. I would 228 00:11:51.320 --> 00:11:53.519 say of those type of. 229 00:11:53.480 --> 00:11:58.519 Movies, seven is like seven has this aesthetic that it's 230 00:11:58.960 --> 00:12:02.000 I still don't have a word for it, but things 231 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.519 strike me a certain way, like I get a certain 232 00:12:04.559 --> 00:12:07.320 feeling when I watch certain movies or certain shows or 233 00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:11.519 hear certain music. And the only feeling I can really 234 00:12:12.360 --> 00:12:15.440 put to it is the movie seven. It's like, oh wow, 235 00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:20.919 it's like that. It's just like this dirty, gritty, like 236 00:12:21.080 --> 00:12:31.919 kind of hidden, like painful, like traumatic. It's just like 237 00:12:32.000 --> 00:12:37.679 this really like icky place and the like. There's really 238 00:12:38.080 --> 00:12:42.240 no good word that I can fix, like a subgenre 239 00:12:42.480 --> 00:12:46.320 or anything like that. But every like so hereditary, I 240 00:12:46.320 --> 00:12:50.080 would say, goes there right. Hereditary is just like it's 241 00:12:50.159 --> 00:12:54.600 just like the family drama and the gore and the 242 00:12:54.639 --> 00:12:58.600 fact that there's no happiness of any kind at the end. 243 00:12:58.679 --> 00:13:02.960 It's just like it's a really the movie is meaning 244 00:13:03.159 --> 00:13:05.480 to upset you, is kind of the point, you know, 245 00:13:06.840 --> 00:13:08.679 And that's not that's not all there is to it. 246 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:12.720 But seven for me is like anytime a movie or 247 00:13:12.919 --> 00:13:16.639 a show or anything gets me there, it's like in 248 00:13:16.639 --> 00:13:18.879 my head, I'm like, oh, that's like seven. You know, 249 00:13:19.080 --> 00:13:21.000 it's really that iconic to me. 250 00:13:21.679 --> 00:13:23.360 Seven to me, if you were to paint it with 251 00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:26.440 a word, it would be like despair. Just everything every 252 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:29.320 shot in it is dark. There's rain constantly. Even the 253 00:13:29.360 --> 00:13:32.720 interiors when they're in the house is lit darkly. And 254 00:13:32.759 --> 00:13:34.480 the whole point is, I don't think there's like a 255 00:13:34.600 --> 00:13:37.320 moment of joy in that movie whatsoever. 256 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:40.759 I think the only moment of joy is actually when 257 00:13:40.919 --> 00:13:46.720 Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman they both chuckle on a 258 00:13:46.759 --> 00:13:50.399 couch at brad Pitt's apartment, and this is that's like 259 00:13:50.440 --> 00:13:53.519 at the halfway point when they kind of become friends 260 00:13:53.559 --> 00:13:56.440 finally when they have dinner. But yeah, I think that 261 00:13:56.600 --> 00:14:01.519 is like that's the only recipe bit or respite, however 262 00:14:01.559 --> 00:14:04.679 you say that word that you get and then I 263 00:14:04.720 --> 00:14:07.879 think it's kind of like to lully you into this 264 00:14:07.879 --> 00:14:11.600 this idea of like, oh, okay, these guys are becoming friends. 265 00:14:11.639 --> 00:14:13.639 I can see like the movie like at the end, 266 00:14:13.759 --> 00:14:15.320 these guys are gonna come out on top. This is 267 00:14:15.360 --> 00:14:17.720 a pretty fucking crazy movie. But these two they're gonna 268 00:14:17.720 --> 00:14:20.200 work together now and they're gonna catch the bad guy 269 00:14:20.279 --> 00:14:22.919 and everything's be okay. And then it doesn't do that 270 00:14:23.000 --> 00:14:23.759 at all, you know. 271 00:14:23.960 --> 00:14:25.759 And then they cut to the shot of the kitchen 272 00:14:25.840 --> 00:14:27.799 and you see Gwyneth Paltrow and you go, oh, I 273 00:14:27.840 --> 00:14:30.320 bet someone's gonna cut her fucking head off. 274 00:14:30.360 --> 00:14:33.279 Probably, yeah, I bet someone's gonna mail her head to 275 00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:34.919 back to these two fellas. 276 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:37.879 That was the third movie I watched with Jen when 277 00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:41.679 I was courting her was seven. The first movie was 278 00:14:41.720 --> 00:14:44.519 The Shining. The second movie was thirteen. 279 00:14:46.000 --> 00:14:46.879 That movie stunk. 280 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:50.759 Ah, well, I'll beyond beyond a little kid though, when 281 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:55.039 you're a no, maybe uh, when you're a kid though. 282 00:14:55.120 --> 00:14:56.600 Those kids are kind of hot, you know. 283 00:14:57.159 --> 00:14:58.320 Yeah, yeah, when you're a kid. 284 00:14:58.440 --> 00:14:59.919 Yeah yeah, yeah, yea yeah. I think I was like 285 00:15:00.039 --> 00:15:02.600 twenty now. 286 00:15:02.679 --> 00:15:04.600 I remember watching that with you in high school. 287 00:15:04.879 --> 00:15:08.919 The four dude. Okay, all right, it is dunkay. Uh, 288 00:15:09.679 --> 00:15:12.679 there was a The fourth movie we watched was Faces 289 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:13.200 of Death. 290 00:15:14.039 --> 00:15:16.240 So I was bummed when I found out that's fake. 291 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.200 Yeah, but we didn't know that was fake. It was 292 00:15:18.240 --> 00:15:19.919 like for me, it was like two thousand and eight, 293 00:15:20.519 --> 00:15:24.360 and like, you know, maybe even two thousand setting out 294 00:15:24.360 --> 00:15:25.039 two thousand and eight. 295 00:15:25.639 --> 00:15:28.000 It was before everything could be debunked. 296 00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:29.720 Yeah, it was. 297 00:15:29.799 --> 00:15:33.279 It was before oxygen could be debunked. 298 00:15:34.200 --> 00:15:35.320 Is oxygen debunked? 299 00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:38.279 Now? Dude, you can debunk anything now. It's just like 300 00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:40.080 use AI, right. 301 00:15:40.240 --> 00:15:42.279 I gotta check community notes on that one. 302 00:15:44.080 --> 00:15:46.519 Just ask Jeeves. Is that the new AI? 303 00:15:46.960 --> 00:15:51.759 No, it's I have asked Jeeves? Is that the new AI? 304 00:15:52.519 --> 00:15:54.919 Can I use that for AI ing things? 305 00:15:55.720 --> 00:15:58.039 Ask Jeeves? Is if you ask me, like, now is 306 00:15:58.039 --> 00:15:59.440 the perfect time for a comeback? 307 00:16:00.559 --> 00:16:04.679 That's true? You can make an AI called Jeeves, right, yep, yeah, 308 00:16:04.919 --> 00:16:06.879 what you do? Yeah, yeah, you might as well just 309 00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:10.320 ask it. It's pretty good actually, Holy shit, you should 310 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:11.720 really sell that to someone. 311 00:16:12.519 --> 00:16:15.840 Jeeves. Yeah, I should get touch the Jeeves Corporation and 312 00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:19.159 ask them if they'd be interested in my idea. Hey, 313 00:16:19.200 --> 00:16:21.440 you guys want to go back in business. I know 314 00:16:21.480 --> 00:16:25.679 you you've all fucking retired and went on to buy 315 00:16:25.720 --> 00:16:27.600 Pedophile Islands in the Caribbean. 316 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:30.639 But yeah, those of you that sold high, we know 317 00:16:30.679 --> 00:16:34.440 you went to buy Pedophile Organization or you know, islands 318 00:16:34.840 --> 00:16:37.840 Forum organizations. Those of you who held on because you 319 00:16:37.919 --> 00:16:40.679 believed in the mission, you now have ten million shares 320 00:16:40.720 --> 00:16:43.440 of pets dot Com stock that are fucking bankrupt. 321 00:16:44.159 --> 00:16:46.759 That that actually reminds me of what I watched over 322 00:16:46.799 --> 00:16:52.200 the weekend. I saw the Zoe Kravitz movie Blink twice. 323 00:16:53.200 --> 00:16:55.399 Oh, I have that downloaded. I kind of want to 324 00:16:55.440 --> 00:16:55.879 watch it. 325 00:16:56.399 --> 00:17:02.799 Okay. It's really ambitious, really well shot, good movie. Right, 326 00:17:03.480 --> 00:17:06.440 it's easy to figure out exactly everything that's going on. 327 00:17:07.880 --> 00:17:12.960 I feel like, I feel like it's a really good idea. Okay, 328 00:17:13.000 --> 00:17:17.160 So it's kind of like a less Yeah, it's it's 329 00:17:17.200 --> 00:17:20.519 it's it's almost like a girl version of get Out. 330 00:17:20.759 --> 00:17:24.240 And the reason I'm gonna say it's less like like 331 00:17:24.480 --> 00:17:28.680 groundbeare breaking or like jaw dropping is just because you've 332 00:17:28.680 --> 00:17:31.319 seen get Out, you know, it's kind of this is 333 00:17:31.400 --> 00:17:35.319 kind of like a Lady get Out. But it was 334 00:17:35.359 --> 00:17:38.920 still a really good movie. It was really enjoyable. I 335 00:17:38.960 --> 00:17:42.240 thought Channing Tatum, I thought he's been a good actor 336 00:17:42.279 --> 00:17:45.000 for a while. But I I realized that he's kind 337 00:17:45.000 --> 00:17:48.720 of like a joke. But I thought he was really good. 338 00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:50.960 I thought he gave he gave like a pretty honest, 339 00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:52.599 decent performance. 340 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:57.640 Yeah, I haven't watched it yet. I notice I'm starting 341 00:17:57.680 --> 00:18:00.039 to get real. And by the way, Jen and I 342 00:17:59.920 --> 00:18:03.000 assessed this the other today when she was picking her 343 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:06.000 up from work. I am aware people don't use the 344 00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:10.079 term retardant anymore. I use it every other sentence. But 345 00:18:10.119 --> 00:18:12.519 I don't mean like the drooling kid at your work, 346 00:18:12.759 --> 00:18:14.640 like who fucking bangs groceries? 347 00:18:14.839 --> 00:18:15.680 You mean an idiot? 348 00:18:16.279 --> 00:18:18.759 Yeah, I mean an asshole in the same way. Like 349 00:18:19.240 --> 00:18:21.519 you know, I'm trying not to say it as much anymore, 350 00:18:21.599 --> 00:18:23.440 but like, you know, you call a guy a fag, 351 00:18:23.559 --> 00:18:24.559 I don't mean a gay guy. 352 00:18:25.759 --> 00:18:28.839 Yeah, Yeah, you mean like a fucking like an idiot 353 00:18:28.920 --> 00:18:29.720 pussy bitch. 354 00:18:31.119 --> 00:18:33.319 Andrew's homophobic and I think he's a fag. 355 00:18:34.200 --> 00:18:36.559 Yeah, Well, that. I mean, being homophobic is like the 356 00:18:36.599 --> 00:18:41.559 most faggy thing you could do, is it. I mean, 357 00:18:41.680 --> 00:18:45.359 there's like be homophobic, and then there's suck a cock 358 00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:50.440 as a man, and then there's spray paint. I am 359 00:18:50.880 --> 00:18:52.119 a faggot hater. 360 00:18:53.000 --> 00:18:55.440 Can I tell you a story I've never told anyone 361 00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:57.400 before and it somewhat relates to that? 362 00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:01.759 Oh oh boy, okay, just I. 363 00:19:01.799 --> 00:19:03.240 Save it for the finale. I'm just kidding. 364 00:19:03.319 --> 00:19:06.480 Leave me, leave out, leave out any specific places, so 365 00:19:06.559 --> 00:19:09.599 that way you don't incriminate yourself, because if I think that, 366 00:19:09.359 --> 00:19:13.920 the Supreme Court recently ruled there's no statute of limitations 367 00:19:13.920 --> 00:19:15.519 for hate crimes. Gotcha? Gotcha? 368 00:19:15.599 --> 00:19:19.519 So I was working in best Buy in Princeton, and 369 00:19:19.720 --> 00:19:22.359 it was the six weeks after I got dumped and 370 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:23.680 before I started. 371 00:19:23.400 --> 00:19:26.160 Dating Jen your only single time. 372 00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:30.640 Yes, and my ex was in college doing her college stuff. Probably, 373 00:19:30.680 --> 00:19:35.680 you know, getting blown out? Shut the fuck up? Yeah? Probably? Oh, dude, 374 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:38.160 it don't happen to I don't want to. I don't 375 00:19:38.160 --> 00:19:40.400 care that it happened. You don't spread your pain to 376 00:19:40.440 --> 00:19:41.240 everybody else. 377 00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:44.440 Oh no, it's I'm over it, dude. You just get 378 00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:44.839 over it. 379 00:19:44.839 --> 00:19:46.599 Did I talk to my mom? The other day, I go, 380 00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:49.559 I have this, I have this. No, I was talking 381 00:19:49.559 --> 00:19:52.640 about the cat dated and I've told everyone in my life. 382 00:19:52.640 --> 00:19:54.720 I go, my biggest fear is he is one eye. 383 00:19:54.759 --> 00:19:56.599 I don't want him to get any kind of infection 384 00:19:56.960 --> 00:19:58.839 because then you got a blind cat that's shitting in 385 00:19:58.839 --> 00:20:01.000 a diaper for the next fifth teen years because he's 386 00:20:01.000 --> 00:20:01.519 only two. 387 00:20:01.960 --> 00:20:03.759 Then you got to put it in the bathtub and 388 00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:04.960 yeah for a. 389 00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:09.720 While, exactly here take a swim. But I was talking 390 00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:11.240 to my mom, I was like, yeah, David's got this 391 00:20:11.319 --> 00:20:14.519 weird breath thing. His breath fucking stinks and not like 392 00:20:14.559 --> 00:20:17.039 a normal cat, like he's got like an issue. I 393 00:20:17.079 --> 00:20:22.279 think cats have good breath, dental I love smelling cat breath. 394 00:20:22.599 --> 00:20:24.960 You have to be a contrarian with everything, don't you. 395 00:20:25.359 --> 00:20:27.440 I just love it. Sometimes I save it in jars 396 00:20:27.480 --> 00:20:28.680 and smell cat breath. 397 00:20:28.920 --> 00:20:30.759 I only have but one cat, so I don't know. 398 00:20:30.839 --> 00:20:33.319 Maybe other cats stink, but my cat is perfect. 399 00:20:33.559 --> 00:20:35.839 That's like guys with their chicks pussies. It's like, well 400 00:20:36.039 --> 00:20:38.079 just kind of smells like water. 401 00:20:38.519 --> 00:20:42.480