Speaker 1: All right, So dropping a chimney that's dangerous work, and
I'm proud to say I've never hurt anyone in all
my years of doing it. I can put it down
within a few years of where I want measure twice,
cut once. That's where I was almost told. That's good
advice for anyone, no matter what you do in life,
even if there's not any cutting involved. Oh, chimney dropping
all that matter. But you get my meaning. Stay safe
and I'll see them.
Speaker 2: An old friend visited the house this week, someone who
hasn't been around the place for a long long time.
Speaker 1: Not another colde and ask me I love that movie,
Jeff Goldblooms.
Speaker 2: Not another color as Tom Finch's orange.
Speaker 1: Oh now, fair play to you, fair play Tipperary's own
Finch's orange. Nothing kicks like the bits in a king
in a in a in the lemon, or the orange
of Finches. Haven't seen it in a while, but an
absolute banger of a drink.
Speaker 2: It's got me under its skin.
Speaker 1: Yeah you remember the edge?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I do do. I remember Tom. Hello to
everybody of the listenership of the Tom and Jerry Show.
I'm Jerry McBride. That is Tom O'manney Comedians at large,
and we've got one thing to talk about right this second,
and it's Finch's Orange back on the market.
Speaker 1: It was gone for like, yes, five or six years.
It's maybe a little more. The See and Sea crowd
had taken it over. I think there's they're they're jocks.
They've taken it over, much like I think they've taken
over Bloomers and a couple of more things. Now they've
taken over. And there was talks they were side owners
coming back in a big way. Apparently it's didn't.
Speaker 2: There doesn't mean my ignorance I didn't know, I don't
know was gone was I don't have gone.
Speaker 1: They they downgraded it like it wasn't on it. You
weren't getting on the rag, you know what I mean.
It wasn't getting on the rig. But I heard I
mooted rumors about Finches making a comeback, and I'm so glad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, find it. It's why it's it's available in all
good supermarkets and probably some shit wants to Yeah, I
don't became one of these ones like football Special. You
have to know that yeah, yeah, yeah, or someone's going
somewhere will take you up a weave drop. I posted
about it on social media more and more on social media.
In a second guys, and I said, oh, I'm drinking
Finches orange and everybody was like, does it taste the same?
And I'm like, to the best of my recollection of
that I drank maybe ten years.
Speaker 1: Ago, but does it give you is is there a
kick to it now like you remember it had?
Speaker 2: It's very nice?
Speaker 1: It like, yeah, it's very nice.
Speaker 2: It is very nice. I will say, Tom, I had
cans of Finches orange. No sign of the lemon just yet,
cans of Finches orange. And but the real test of
any of these drinks is drinking a glass bottle of
it in a pub with bank cripts.
Speaker 1: There's nothing else. And that's I thought that that was just,
you know, something that we had. Psychological turns out no garden.
To the sister who worked for Boomers at one stage,
she gave me the full rundown that inside of a
can of anything, yeah, totally changes the flavor and the
extra on your tongue and everything versus a glass bottle.
Because so you're you're right if you think it's nicer
out of the glass bottle, it is nicer because I
can scientifically show it's looking nicer than the stuff on
the because they have to add something to it's a
different one that goes into the bottle, that goes into
the can, because it has to counteract the ship that's
on the inside of the can. Yeah, because cans are
aluminum or whatever they are.
Speaker 2: Makes perfect sense to me.
Speaker 1: There's a dog in here, someone there. I'm just gonna
say that. I don't fucking know where, but I.
Speaker 2: Can watching them. They're lurking behind you.
Speaker 1: He's not there now, it's just breathing, like Lord knows,
dark Vader somewhere. Anyway. I'm in the in I'm in
the business and in the market for some bets. I
need bats, cricket or vampire vampire. I need the vampire ones.
I need bats. Apparently it's the best. I've ordered two
back boxes. I don't know how to draw them in.
I don't know how to hear about you, but I
don't know how to get them to commit. Apparently your
average Irish bat will scoff two thousand midgies a night.
Speaker 2: Okay, so if I can go right, okay, So yeah, yeah,
yeahsa scorged.
Speaker 1: It's like a fucking Egyptian fucking level like Kim King
fucking Imo te plague of midges, plague of midgies, and
I apparently two thousands a night. That's a feed. If
I can get five or five to ten these guys
on the.
Speaker 2: Go every night, twenty thousand midges gone every night.
Speaker 1: I mean, if the very least they'll put the word
out to Midgie fucking town, don't. It's a fucking horror.
It's a fucking blood bat around the man's they've got bats.
They've got these flying can murder weapons.
Speaker 2: That okay, you know if you get bats, then you've
got bats.
Speaker 1: Do you know what I can see a bat? I
can if I get bitten by a that I can
go all right? Do you know what you came at me?
Speaker 2: Bro?
Speaker 1: You've got speed, you've got agility, but at least I
could see you these little fucking deaths by a thousand
fucking bites. I can't be dealing with him. I just
we're not on the same page at all. All the
bet I can. I can go nose to nose with
a bat.
Speaker 2: I will say what a midgie will not give you
if he bites you tom his rabies? Yeah, or what
rabies are you worried about rabies the bat, you'd be
worried about it. I wouldn't be one bit worried about bats.
Aren't listen. If that bat is full of two thousand midgies,
he has no interest in coming down and taking a
bite out of my sour hole. I can promise you
the last thing he wants is anything to do with
me and be like, oh Jesus Christ, I don't want to.
I don't want to give away a million dollar ideas
on the podcast that we.
Speaker 1: Don't see a fucking dime again.
Speaker 2: How about this, right, citronella vapes.
Speaker 1: I'd have to give them to the goats because and
citronella vapes over a two and a half acre plot.
Speaker 2: Okay, fair enough? Yeah, but I have never had you'd
never not have your vape, which is so you'd be
constantly walking in like a fucking Charlie Brown.
Speaker 1: It's not a bad it's not a bad idea. But
I honestly I've had I've had all sorts of sprays,
you name it, and nothing works. There's there's when you
get to a certain volume they break through it. You
know what I mean? Yeah, it's volume Jersey. You like
you look up after coming to a stop for a second,
like you gotta do undo a not on a rope
or something of the fucking yocus tied itself and try
to and you look up and you go, oh, why
is my head all for? I've got a hat. I'm
wearing a hat.
Speaker 2: Of me geeesz.
Speaker 1: So that's where I'm at here. I need bats, any
bat enthusiasts, how I can draw in some bats of
the boxes on the way and they'll sit idle until
I know how to get a beat into it. Apparently
they'll just rock up if it's a nice spot. If
anybody wants to give me advice, do I put it
at two foot? Do I put it at twenty foot?
Speaker 2: Up a three?
Speaker 1: I don't fucking know.
Speaker 2: Like so, folks, if you can, if you can help Tom,
get a bat kind of finches orange in it for you.
But we'll do now, Tom, We'll get on with the
show we had on with the show before the midges
come in and get us. We're going to get right
into the big news of the week, Tom, with the
first segment of the show, the weekly what have you.
Speaker 1: This is a very complicated case, mad, You know, a
lot of a lot of outs, a lot of what
have you and uh, a lot of strands to keep
in my head.
Speaker 2: Man, tough fun going to be heard of mind comedy
out of this one, I'll tell you. But we're not
gonna We're not gonna try, we said last week on
the commentary show. Even last week we said, though we
don't touch any anybody that's passed away or any deaths
or accidents or things that that, we're not that kind
of podcast. But fuck me, Tom, here we are.
Speaker 1: That's completely lined to our listeners up front. We we
we we turned into the fucking obituaries. That's what we
had see.
Speaker 2: We had see the iceman on the podcast last week
and I said, yeah, he's dead, but he's like five
thousand years old dead. This week's death is a little
more fresh than the memory. But mention it anyway, just
so everybody knows. We're not making little of this lady
who passed away at the weekend. But it was such
a fucking horrific circumstance that we decided that's fucking bind
tidy for a comedy podcast. No jokes about this. It's
a Brazilian lady, twenty some odd years of age, twenty one,
twenty one died in a bridge swing accident. A video
of this went viral online and I had watched this
like ten times before I realized, oh shit, this isn't Ai. Yeah, yeah, no.
You see these AI videos and it's like a lady
or a man with a big rock that smashes a
glass bridge over a river in China and fifty people
faulted their deaths, and it's like it's Ai. Okay, that's
the video. I felt, we were watching now, But no.
It is a lady in Brazil, a twenty one year
old on vacation when her falla. Her name is Maria
Eduardo Rodriguez de Fritis.
Speaker 1: I mean, what you say vacation, She isn't from Chune,
I'd say, don't know. In all fair, ince's a big
beef plant up in Tune. She easily could be from
fucking tub if she's.
Speaker 2: One thing for what I for what I know about Brazil,
Thomas that you can get in the air, report in
Brazil and fly for ten hours and land in Brazil.
Speaker 1: That's that's come big.
Speaker 2: She went on a on a rope bridge swing, little
little extreme kind of bungee jump sort of a thing,
and opted to go for the Superman dismount, which is
which is where you can just let's drink you off yourself.
You can get two guys to lift you up in
sort of like a dirty dancing uh you know. The
final dirty dancing post was extraction. You lift out and
then they just hock you off the bridge, and she
opted for that. And as the video goes on, you're like, oh,
she's not tied to anything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially when you hear the other people go, that's.
Speaker 2: Lots of people around there, like, you know, should they
not be we look? Are we looking at what? And
they they just pitch her off the side of this
and she falls forty forty meters to the ground and
and unfortunately did not survive her injuries. The lads who
did it Tom, it must be said immediately, fucking scarboard.
They like cartoon villains. They ran and were eventually found
by a police helicopter infrared camera that saw them hiding
in the woods.
Speaker 1: They were. It turns out they were completely unregulated, they
had no insurances, they'd know nothing. They weren't. They were
at business of sorts. They named themselves a business, but
as it turns out they had This is a bit
frowned upon It isn't bungee jumping as people would think,
because you need one hundred meters of a jump, right,
do you know? Because when I heard about it first,
it was like forty meters one hundred and thirty feet,
like you know what I mean? That's yeah, No, that's
not a bungee jumping hide No, but that's that's that's
that's you know, how many family aids in one hundred
and thirty like you're talking about like eighteen nineteen stories
like off off a bridge skeleton bridge is in South Paulo.
And she went for it. And it's ill advised anyway,
because it is just like we do it back Do
you remember back in the day you do you be
down at the river and you had a stick on
the end of it or a tire on the end
of a rope and you swing out and that's grand.
That's eight foot of a rope and you swing out
your landing in ishke. This woman wants to be attached
to a rope, fucked off the side and in the
hope that the you know, even with the rope attached,
you're going, well, I hope the rope is just the
right length and that the lads, I don't come to
it like a grinding ankle splitting halt. You'll actually swing
back underneath. That's the hope, and that's what makes it
an extreme sport rather where bungee is you can bounce
and come back up, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like, well, you hope.
Speaker 1: So, I mean, we've all seen those videos with the
rope is a little bit too long too, but the
there was nylane fucking rope at all tall and as
it turns out, sitting on the ground, on the ground
behind her and Simpson joke.
Speaker 2: You know, shouldn't this be tied to something that you've
ever seen in your goddamn life. We're not making light
of it.
Speaker 1: It's absolutely her when her fiance stood there looking on.
Speaker 2: That's a rough one stand there like you know, so yeah,
a dreadful situation. And our heart's go out to them,
like you know, young people in giyant life and this
kind of shit happens. So me and Tom have like
thoughts on how this kind of thing in life can
be avoided going forward. And I'll give you mine now, Tom.
Speaker 1: Let's hear it.
Speaker 2: Really, it's really very simple. You've heard me. Everybody who's
listened to this podcast for long enough has heard me
talk about my thoughts on health and safety and how.
Speaker 1: You love it.
Speaker 2: You love it, you know. I love a bit of
health and safety. I love a bit of checks, and
I honestly think I would be a pretty good health
and safety officer.
Speaker 1: Would be a horrible, horrible bastard.
Speaker 2: I would not let Oh lord, Now, this is not
necessarily how people avoid I'm not giving people advice on
how to avoid bridge swing catastrophe in their life, because
you're going to meet it on a day to day basis.
But just to avoid catastrophe anywhere else, whatever you're doing
in this life, Tom, give it a wee check.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2: And I don't want to get too deep into it,
but I feel we're entering into an age where shit
doesn't work anymore. Okay. I've been in the last six
months in a public toilet having a sit down and
people come busting in the door and I'm just like, hey, yah,
I'm here, and they start the door. Does all go terribly?
That that has happened to me three times this year?
Do you know how many times it's happened to me
in my life?
Speaker 1: Go on?
Speaker 2: Three times that's it. They all happened in the last
six month period. And it's not me for getting to
locked the fucking thing. It's just that the locks on
the door don't work anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do you know what. I in the last
maybe four or five days, I, myself and two other
people have talked to have had road incidents where cars
are just drifting over into my lane on a normal
Like what level of fucking stupidity is coming over? Like, look,
ineptitude is coming over?
Speaker 2: People have late Like, I'll tell you what it is.
And I'll tell you I can't I can't account for
the driving one now, but I'll tell you what it is.
Just in your general walk around day to day life, Tom,
it's people are being paid less and worked harder and
rewarded less, and there's a lot of fuck right, there's
a wee bit of fucker coming in, And there's also
a little bit of I'm giving one hundred things to
do and eight hours to do it, and you know what,
there's a couple of them. But I just I tried
my level best and I just didn't get around to
doing it. I just didn't get around to doing this.
I just didn't get around to doing that stressed to
the high though fucking everything's mad expensive. I'm doing my
level best and I'm sorry. Of the one hundred things
I was asked to do today, I got to ninety
five and one of those five was I didn't fix
the lock on the toilet door. And someone busted in
a film McBride trailers around his ancles.
Speaker 1: You see, that's that's where this is where it starts.
And give it five years and we look like, yang,
do you know what I mean? Where it's not just paint,
it's painted on fruit on the front of the fruit
Red shop. You're going, well, I didn't have time to
pick the fucking fruit because your man had me breaking
fucking rocks for fucking forty two hours this week. Right,
I'm just gonna paint paint some apples on the front
of it, and you can take that for what it
is and as good as I can do.
Speaker 2: You know, you know, we we all learned about this
on the side Tom yourself or I learned it about
it in the shop when my forklift course and all this,
and we were always told with your forklift, check your
forklift every morning before you go anywhere, to make sure
everything's right, the lugnuts are tight. All this kind of thing. Now,
how many times did you fucking do it? Because, like
I was driving it yesterday was fine. Here we go,
I'm telling you, man, going forward, you gotta fucking check shit.
You gotta give everything just a little. If you take
the card of the garage and do a pre nct
check and the handed back you here's the thing. Just
go around and make sure they put the lugnuts back
in the wheels, because they are working like dogs all day.
Might have just slipped her mind? Might I only put
three of the five in? Like this is not beyond
the realms of possibility. You gotta gotta gotta check, folks.
Otherwise you know you're you're, you're, you're just you're leaving
your hand out to be slapped.
Speaker 1: I feel well, you see what you did, what you've
tracked over into exactly where I was coming from there,
and I'll be won't be as I want.
Speaker 2: To say one more thing before the pitch de orbit,
because this this is, this is, this is personally this
is all right if you're a gym goer. I'm a
gym goer as well. Here's here's where I got real
strict on health and safety of late and and doing
checks and all this. Anytime I stand on a treadmill
or an exercise bike or whatever the fuck it is,
you rest assured, Tom, I checked to make sure everything works.
I turn it on, I turn it up to a
certain speed, to make sure that it's calibrated to kilometer
and not miles, because it might be some calibrated to
kilometer or summer miles before. It's just mixed. It's just mixes.
Whatever it set, it's never regulated. And then you walk on.
You go, well, I can run that six, and you
put it up to six, and it throws you into
the far fucking wall because that's six miles and not
six kilometers. See these things happen, right, I'll tell you
another one. On a lot of a lot of the
treadmills that you're running along and think I've had enough
of this. It's time for me to stop, and you
press the stop button and it stops.
Speaker 1: Not all of them, do Tom, No, not all of
them do.
Speaker 2: You press the stop button and you're pressing it like hell,
and and it's never been fixed, and nobody's ever So
I get on a treadmill, I put up to a
certain speed. Make sure that that's calibrated to what I
know is going to be checked. The ups and downs work,
check it, The stops and starts work, and then I stop,
go back to zero and start again. And I'm telling
you fucking take that lesson through everything you do in life,
whether you're a fucking crane driver or opening a bottle
of milk like whatever it might be. Just check everything
is going to work before you use it, because nobody's
fucking checking by your buddy. I'm telling you that now,
That's what I said.
Speaker 1: As we know, we do have a whole family of
crane drivers listen to the show and trucks.
Speaker 2: We got a lot of We've got a lot of
working people.
Speaker 1: You know, some of them lads could actually probably open
a bottle of milk with their crane. But it's it's
it's simple enough for me jir and having run sites
and have and like takeover situations after lads had already
been Actually, yeah, that's done there. Now there's one rule,
and one rule of only that. I was tall taught,
but the scariest boss I ever had trust no cunt
that was literally his. He wouldn't trust the fucking wife,
not that she's gonna run off me, but I mean
their mind might have been somewhere else. They might have
been had your best interests at the They definitely doesn't
have your best interest unless they're being paid to have
your best interest at the top of the top of
the pile. You you cannot take your eye off whatever
a fucker has done before and going hey, because you're
going he could have just had a round wife, He
could have have had a cold with a bit of
brain fog. He or she may not. I'm serious after
every fucker because they do not have your best interest
at heart. And it's not impersonal, it's they're getting through
their day.
Speaker 2: And like I said, it's not that they don't have
your best interest in heart. I feel it's just like
they've got life is so fucking fuck these day's life
comes at you so especially.
Speaker 1: In Ireland right now, we're being worked to the fucking
cogs like we are down to fucking we're down to
the wires now and the tires at this stage for
some people's.
Speaker 2: And to that end, you know, even if you're like
so surely someone did it. I'm sure that lady in
BRAZILA was like there's no way that they would huck
me off this bridge without connecting a rope to me.
But those three men there and they were like, I
just got to get through the fucking day. Yeah, thrown
another one over the side? Did you? Did you ship
none of us?
Speaker 1: That was the argument with the cops. They went, we
weren't sure who was to tie the rope. You go,
And she's not to be blamed because in all fairs,
she's at a height, it's her first gig or whatever, and
she's in a heightened state of adrenaline, and she's not
She's just assuming that the job has been done. And
I'll refer back to like we think their safety and
all these things. I can remember being on things and
you're looking at the welds on these fair ground rights
and you're like what, and as I I must. This
might be my fifty reference to Fantasia Land, the time
one of the lads broke his fucking arm because there
was a girder in a tunnel on a fucking roller
coaster and he stuck his hands outside their like who
doesn't want who doesn't stick their hands outside the box?
The fucking a roller coaster broke his fucking arm from
a girder at forty five degrees like that was there.
He might have been to one hundred. Fuck, but just
don't be fucking stupid. The good boy scout always double, Jaggs.
Speaker 2: Always double. You had a lot to say on this
as well. That's my that's my take for avoiding peril
in this world. How are you gonna advise the good
people of the Tom and Jerry Show how to avoid
incidents during extreme sports?
Speaker 1: Don't trust anybody with dreadlocks for one there, just at all.
If they have dreadlocks or the look of a fellow
that wouldn't mind having a head of dreadlocks, do not
let that fella take the most most crucial part of
what you're doing. But I would stare. Here's the thing
when it comes to extreme sports, I have it much
like the bat right, much like the bat situation. Yes,
I can I can level in my mind a toe
to toe row with a bat right. I can level that.
I can't level with jumping off something and letting God
and gravity deal with the situation and a couple of
focos and a rope that will never happen me. I
will never bund you jump.
Speaker 2: I will because so your your solution is just don't
fucking do these things.
Speaker 1: Don't do the stupid shape where you're handing over all
the chips you're handing like you go, what's the worst
that can that's the worst that can happen. You literally,
like Jerry said at the top of the show, we
don't want to make little this woman. That woman made
herself into it, but fifty pence piece by the time
she was fucking done because she trusted lads to just
let the worst happen. They let They didn't do something
that made the worst happen. They just let the fucking
worst happen.
Speaker 2: To your dreadlocks comment there, Tom, it must be said
that a lot of these things are run by new
age Carni folk, you know what I mean. These are
the same guys that would be like, why'd you like
to ride the doublehel like sir?
Speaker 1: And if I'm not mistake.
Speaker 2: There, they're like, hey, you want to do a bunch
of jump off a crane over the harbor?
Speaker 1: If I'm not mistaken. Brazil, we're playing in the World Cup.
This is that day against I don't know who I
can promise you as a football insane No fucking nation.
They were trying to peddle through as many of these
fucking things to get down the pub as fast as
they post possibly could. So, if you're ever trusting lads
with something, and if all it is is something along
the lines of, hey, we're gonna get fucking pushing around, fine,
but I can't die right if you haven't paid full attention. No,
not really, just my hurt, Okay, but when it comes
to that level of trust, and the worst that can
happen is fucking horrific date in front of your fiance. Yes,
that's the time.
Speaker 2: Go by. More fucking camera angles by the than the
Kennedy assassinate.
Speaker 1: Bring the bridge, And for whatever reason, it's doing the
rounds and nobody's everybody seems so like easy going about it.
For whatever fucking reason, it doesn't make any sense to me.
I personally, I couldn't watch the video. I just saw
the girl have been hyped up onto the lad's arms
and oh no, I've been told about it now, but
I can't. I can't now that I know the full
backstory to it, I fucking can't. This is going to
be the bleakest thing ever. And in that my first
thoughts were, what were the three counts done that did it? Like,
even even going on ski with ski, you know, holidays
and stuff, I'm always looking up at the gundle that's gone.
And I remember pulling a fellow one day again. I
went to get on one. I went, hey, hey, hey, hey,
fucking nut washed. The whole lot is gonna off the
fucking into that, and then all fairshry man. It had
just been fucking service. But the bloke that did the
service and didn't have the fucking brains clued in that
fucking morning, stopped the whole fucking thing, took that one off,
and then went through every single fucking one of them.
After that, everybody was fucking raging at me for pulling
them on one of these fucking Now, it wasn't a
high up thing, but you come off that and you're
gonna land twenty feet anyway on your fucking back.
Speaker 2: Tom, you had a little final destination glimps in your
mind of something dreadful happening.
Speaker 1: Like I guaranteed land on a fucking Douglas fir and
it got just straight up through my hole like flag
the Impaler and out from one of my fucking eye
sockets and now everybody's laughing at Tom because he looks
like a fucking the fairy top for Christmas tree in
a horrific fashion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Tom, I've I've bune, you jumped, I've yes,
I've skydived, skydived, I've run with the bulls man, I
have fucking I.
Speaker 1: Can do the running with the bullsting. I could that.
I can do that. I can do much like the Siegar.
I don't trust high up gravity because the thing is,
I know exactly what I'll do. It has no forgiveness
on me, and it's the cunt that I'm tied to
or that tied me up to. Thing don't know. You
don't trust you.
Speaker 2: I gotta tell you this, this one here is kind
of I thought I was heading into a life where
like me and the young lad would do all these
things together and I would take them skydia even when
he turned eighteen, and I would do all this kind
of crack. I gotta tell you. I watched that video, Tom,
and I think I'm coming around to your idea. I
know extreme sports are for extreme people. I'll tell you
what it is. Right, we'll get off this and move
on with the show. But I remember a time we
remember when I remember when to do dar Devil things,
you have to be a Dare devil. There were ten
people in the world that did crazy shit like this,
that did high jumps from movies that did you know,
you want me to fall off a ten story building
and land on a cushion. There was a very speyized
industry of stunt people that could do these things. Somewhere
in their lifetime. It was like, oh, by the way,
you can do that. You want to pay me one
hundred dollars American. You can you can bungee jump, you
can jump, you can swing, you can dive, you can
do whatever the fuck you want.
Speaker 1: Quick question, when did you do the bunge jump?
Speaker 2: Out of interest? I did it when I was twenty
so eleven, okay, as I measured these things.
Speaker 1: But I think there was there was a there was
a golden age of extreme sports coming in where they
took it so seriously because they were very aware of
the danger because we'd only just come away from me
with Canevens and all the do you know what I mean?
And I think there was a period where, you know
where we're like, fuck, what are we doing? Okay, everything
needs to be on point here. And then it's gotten
to a point where, oh the fucking the ankle straps
are a little bit fucking warm. Sure, no, biggie, you
know what I mean. Before they'd come with a date
on them, when they were like harnesses, you know when
you go up on a high riser, you go Haronson,
coming to date on them where they be calibrated and stuff.
And there was even I'll never forget there was a
I got a set of letders a friend who was
curating a famous cathedral in Dublin, and the ladder had
never been used and he had to give it away
because it's a check date, like it's working date, like
it had gone off, was a year gone and had
never been used and he was able to give it
away to me for another I think now we've gone
into a point much like you said about people just
being over overworked and underpaid, but also the fucking dyne
shruck has gone off for the small but where people
are kind of going should have. There's this housing gone
through it now, should for Fox's sake, what's with all
the fucking what's our Our crowd are playing at three,
they're playing at fucking three, and it's fucking quarters three now,
and we will miss the fucking We're gonna miss the
anthems if this we don't get the command pick her
up to fucking throw it off.
Speaker 2: I just I just go back to the stuntmen of
old home, where you and I would have been watching
stunt Masters on TV and if it was Oh, it's
a daring bridge swing for the new James Bond Fields
and they planned it for six months and this one
man in the world that could jump off a bridge
and swing on a rope and come around and not
hit the beams, Like it's very specialized skill with one
hundred people working on it to make sure it went
off without a hitch. And now it's just like next, next, next,
Oh fuck, we didn't ty the rope on that one.
Speaker 1: Like there's like probably you and all my everybody I
know almost has done a bunch of jump But I've
never trusted the kind of people that I see that go, hey, man,
I run a bungee jump thing. It's like you're doing
that while backpacking across the place, Like this isn't your
chosen endgame job back do you know? I'm just just
saying that's like I'll trust you in a you know,
in a smoothie bar.
Speaker 2: I trust you for directions.
Speaker 1: Maybe, yeah, you know, I'll buy some beads off you
on the side of the road if you're you know,
whatever you need. But man, you are not fucking pushing.
Speaker 2: Off off a bridge. Tom Ar. Condolence is to the
family of mister Fridis. And yeah, fucking mind yourselves out there, folks.
We're gonna get on into boy. I'll tell you the
rest of the shows getting much.
Speaker 1: Better, it gets, it gets funnier.
Speaker 2: Gotting to get on to the subject of our next segment,
which as paranormal, is this lad.
Speaker 1: Now there's that guy, oh see and Land.
Speaker 2: And I mean America America, folks. We always said this
lad could be one man, a lady, a dog, cash
species or whatever. This week, this lad is an entire nation.
It is the nation of America, who could be this
lad any given week, quite frankly, but this week they
out American themselves, the American more than America has ever
americaned with the Freedom two fifty celebration featuring UFC on
the White House.
Speaker 1: Loans fucking incredible, like incredible. I think everybody at this
stage has seen the scenes, and you know what, like
they knew would be a sellout. They you would be
a big distraction thing because you know, for what, for
what popularity Trump would have had before this. He's in
the ship at the minute, and this would have been
a good distraction for for you know whatever. But when
you look at the lineup of fights that were on,
you're like, yes, uh huh, you're not. I'm just saying
that's nottsleg any AFTERNAT. But it isn't the platinum, It.
Speaker 2: Isn't your highest of the whole fight. I knew one.
I knew a couple of fighters, and I knew Amanda Nunas.
Who didn't she fight? Who she beat last? She didn't
she beat like Rander Rozsi or something like.
Speaker 1: That, nod therouses long. Randa Rowsei fought recently though, and
she fought Gina Corano in I don't know it was
a PFL or something and she finished her in seven seconds.
But the Judo.
Speaker 2: Maria s sort of a thing. All this to say,
I I all this to say, what Tom all this
to say? Fucking nothing. I've got nothing to say about
this American thing.
Speaker 1: I've got loads I this was talked about much like
all the Madge ship that comes out of fucking America
and out of the you know, the current administration, out
of all the administrations, I don't believe nothing. But when
this came out and went away that it was like, yeah,
she aenuinely didn't think this was happening up until Friday.
Speaker 2: I think on Sunday at six o'clock, I swear I didn't.
Speaker 1: I that's not no, I've gotten it wrong, Like you
know what I mean, it's you know, to be let's say,
they'll have their press conference maybe there, and they'll go
fight then up the road and we sent stable, but
they took over the To be honest to you, in
one way, I'm I was kind of going, it's the
best fucking use of that fucking place in a long time,
like because it looked spectacular what they did. They had
the claw from you two that they borrowed, that they
were using that stage, the class stage. But it was
the I knew, like that's out in the lawn, which
is fine. We've all had kids parties out in the
lawn like this is. But it was the press conferences
coming out of the fucking watch and call it build
and blew my mind out of the what's the name
of the building, fucking the one with all the pillars. Yes,
and you know there's not n in there. The lads
are just widening the darkness to come down the steps
with all the military band beside them or whatever, and
it's and it's like seventy steps all the way down
and about it's it's it's.
Speaker 2: Absolutely amazing to me. I saw one image there which
is just like the White House. And again, if you
if you think if people have been living on a
rock and haven't seen this, and they're like, what do
you mean UFC at the White House? I mean UFC
at the fucking.
Speaker 1: White House, where it's normally in an arena.
Speaker 2: They built an arena outside the White House. They shipped
in as many handpicked celebrities to come in. You know,
they didn't bring anybody that was puging into the clause,
so they didn't bring in a bunch of lefties and
it wasn't the ticket at event.
Speaker 1: Zach Bryant band playing exactly like I do like Zach Bryant.
Speaker 2: But you know there's there's a shot, Tom, I'm sure
you've seen it. It's the White House in the background
with the U two claw and the k the KFC.
Speaker 1: The UFC KFC. We're definitely there, the UFC.
Speaker 2: Cage and two lads swinging thomps at each other as
a squadron of fighter jets scream over the road. This
is of the White House pumping out red, white and
blue smoke. And I'm like, you cannot, you cannot American
more than this.
Speaker 1: It was the timing. Whoever choreographed that to get waiting this,
this is a very rare thing to do, this said.
So they had the blue leadsweater, the blue angels, and
they had the Navy fly a squadron what's known as
a delta squadron of twelve. And you never see twelve, right,
but of course Trump want to twelve. Whoever got twelve?
But they set the timing amazing, a very good man singing.
I don't know who he was, very good man singing.
I thought they'd have some sort of selim but he
looked like he looked like a fellow that would sing
at your wedding. And he got Rico Palazzo. Do you
know what I mean? They got it, but he got
it bang on there and the free and these fucking
twelve JITs. And this is when I was we were
talking before. There was a moment right where everyone's like whoa,
and everybody's who and Trump is fucking salutin like he's
in the army, and it actually cut to your mandana
White and then fairness, there was a moment of him
kind of gone, you genuinely just starts cracking. It looks
after the left by himself gone Fox's sake, even he
knew here it was a bit charry because that would
that now would be out of his hands, like you
know what I mean, because when it gets to the
White House, you're not allowed, you know, dender bringing in.
But I mean the panto that it was like did
you see now I'm telling you, my they are out American.
You didn't mention the most American thing ever right now,
I'm gonna tell you in the second. First of all,
I says, they must have set up a good sized marquee,
you know, a nice, a nice, a nice marquee. Now
you know what a nice ones you'd see the punching
down racist or whatever that must be worth. They're changing
it coming out of right, because there's the big thing
is the you know the walk, the camera walk, and
all the fucking music started.
Speaker 2: They're all doing.
Speaker 1: It now, you know, they're actually walking to the stage,
you know what, fucking kid rock or whatever, and that's
where they go. I did walk from. I suppose sure
everybody knows what it is, right, nobody's under any illusions
that they're not getting changed inside the Marquee, right and
warming up inside of the marque getting you're strapping on
your hands inside of the Marquee. Well, they must have
done him up in the Marquee and then brought him
in the fucking the patio door right of the fucking
White House, because then it would cut to down the corridor,
a carpeted corridor down to nearly the oval office, right,
and one of the fighters, and I was fucking hilarious.
One lead Diego Lopez, the Mexican fella you've ever seen
mullet skinny Diez, Diego Lopez. He sounds like a bad
wrestling there, right. Yeah, he wears a cowboy hat and
he has the least and I was, fuck, he's an
unbelievable fight. He's got you know that the religious kind
of calligraphy tattoo across the chest. He's walking all Seniory,
he's there. He's so happy, Senior, and he's he's walking
and they've got two cops beside him walking out, like
even even on the main vent of the UFC, because
there's an undercaracter won't be on Telly even then trum
Trump doesn't trust the fucking Mexican to be walking out
in the White House by himself. But they walked all
must have brought him in and for the panto of
the whole thing, walk out of the White House down
a carpeted floor and put the patio door of the
fucking White House and after.
Speaker 2: Like it was.
Speaker 1: And the very fact that they call the UFC Freedom
to fifty sounds like I was sponsored by fucking Dodge Charger,
because it's actually like if they were to do the
way they've been doing it, it's actually you have se
three two nine right exactly? Do you know what I mean? Like,
it's there's no two fifties.
Speaker 2: A couple years ago.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So two fifty is to celebrate.
Speaker 2: Two hundred and fifty years of the same of the
decoration decorated.
Speaker 1: And when I looked at the lineup, I went, Okay,
I recognize some of the names like Justin Gagee. He
either would eat beat, a fellow from Georgia, Hard Cunt,
Sean Amalley and a couple of more greatest name. Now
this fellow could be a NASCAR apparently he's he was
amazing bow Nickel something Nickel. He was fighting too. But
again you're kind of going the more you the more
of it you could.
Speaker 2: Have, you know, for the car.
Speaker 1: But I saw an interview with McGregor, who's I thought
it was going to be honest. They sucked him off
it right, and I thought, why they fuck him off?
It did they do with McGregor? Think he didn't buy
all accounts? And McGregor said that, He goes, I can't
be mad, it's just because they called the shot. I can't,
he says. But they won't have me on two fifty
because they'll sell out to fifty. No bother there's two
fifty three. They'll have me on when it's in some
fucking count of a city like Detroit or something, when
there's it's And I get that in fairness, because I
get that business. If I was selling tickets, I would
do that to me too. Why would I double? Why
would I waste my tickets? Selling ability, and I think
that's going to sell out anyway, Like.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, giving away for free on
Paramount Plus or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I was wild for fox sake, Like I mean,
I don't watch the UFC anymore because it's all over
the fucking top. Shout out to A much I think
a much more aligned with what MMA is. There's a
group called Octagon and they are huge in Europe. And
our very own Tipperary's very own double champ light heavyweight
and heavyweight champion, Will Floury from up the Road and
care is defending his title this coming weekend in Berlin
and will be in front of jesseic be in front
of farm Way, but in the UFCA, could be in
front of forty fift thousand people.
Speaker 2: He does.
Speaker 1: And you know what, I love Will. He's got the
coolest fucking beard in the business. He calls himself Will
fucking Flory and he makes them say it over the
microphone in and the man doesn't wax. He's got a
hairy back like a fucking mountain goat. He's got a
big hairy shoulders, he doesn't wax. I love it. Imagine
nineteen stone, grizzly bastard driving his shoulder into your face.
You ain't putting that on the lawn of the fucking
White House, like you know what I mean, You're not.
But I'll tell you the most American American America thing
that happened that I saw right So between the fucking
shite hawk and walking out of the fucking corridor, right
and we're all supposed to believe that they got changed
below on your man's fucking you know, Jax.
Speaker 2: On the desk.
Speaker 1: How funny would that be?
Speaker 2: Though?
Speaker 1: If you were the smell of DPE, I think you
couldn't get out of the your open office for a
month just fucking But there was that, There was the
jets flying over, There was fucking Trump trans the solutiony
who he was looting? The Mexican felt like getting fuck
walked out by the guards. I saw American the Zach
Bryant band walking out of the whatever that fucking other
building is that Martin Luton King talked from.
Speaker 2: And it was.
Speaker 1: Before all of that, right, non ticket event apparently before
earlier in the day, thousands of people showed up to
get excited about the whole thing. There was a big
stage set up in front of the fucking and this
big stout girl, stout now strong woman you would worry
about now on the windy day, walked out on the stage.
Nobody fully knew what she was in. She was in
a blue polar shirt. Or what would this girl be at?
Maybe she's lost something, or that she's security or something. Nexting,
she sticks her arm and maybe a seventy degree angle
up into the air and out of nowhere throughout the
silence of a few thousand people all your year is
God and the biggest fucking American baldy you've ever seen
your Joe light. Oh, I swear to God, Jerry find
this for herself, glides over everybody's head and in a
fucking fray of just let's go to war. This fucking
goose sized yoke. Now it's a good thing she was
a strong girl, because a normal girl's arm would have broken.
This yoku is as big as a fucking goose. It
landed up in her arm and wasn't happy to land
on her arm, and it started flapping its wings at
full go like full extension, jar and the place like
it was. This Yoko was the biggest hype fucker like
I've never seen.
Speaker 2: Him looking at it here, Tom, it is it's really something.
Speaker 1: And he's going bananas this fucking like he would like
he would carry away a small child like the size
of this fucking thing, and fair place to that girl.
She has him up in the air and the fucker
is flapping his wings good and the crowd are frotting
for it, and then cuts to like jets flying out
or the fuck but nothing beats a giant fucking ball.
Speaker 2: Legal, you can't say, well, that is That is the
challenge that we have set ourselves here. Now that we've
we've laid we've laid out the hoosey watsons of the
whole thing. Folks, we want to talk to you about
where America goes from here. Like we're here telling you
that this is the most America that America has ever American.
But Tom, I believe they can America harder than this.
Speaker 1: There's definitely more in the tank there. I mean, we've
there's so many tropes that we can go into, but
I could what could they do from here? I definitely
think we missed the trick, even on with the walking
out and all the rest of it. That was totally
misster trick. When you don't have somebody like bow Nickel
or Josh hokit never mind them coming down the steps.
I want to hear from behind everybody way down the back.
I want to hear, oh oh, I want to hear
a V twenty four fucking monster truck. Yeah, just grave
Digger brings fucking bone Nickel to the fucking octagon and
he gets out on bonn at first, smashes two cans
stone cold style, pours him over into cans of Monster
Energy drink they sponsored. They Yeah, they sponsored a lot
of it, like, they sponsored a lot of it. I
that was the They missed the trick. They made it
all very safe, Like I don't I want to see
him doing donuts out on the fucking the Rose.
Speaker 2: Garden, tearing up the rose Garden, and yeah.
Speaker 1: Never promised you fucking one, and he ain't getting one
after I tear it up with fucking fourteen tons of
monster truck. There was a huge trick miss there.
Speaker 2: I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you I went
from monster trucks as well, Tom, But you know it's
one thing to have a monster truck show up at
the at the White House and start tearing up the
rose Garden at this stage, I would be like, well,
the White House is just literally a fucking casino at
this stage. You expect that kind of tomfoolery, you know,
And and.
Speaker 1: True it wouldn't have been out of place, That's true.
Speaker 2: Dana White to a quick forty five minute Netflix special
from the from the Over Office. You know, like these things,
I wouldn't say that's American American? What I feel the
Americans should do just to be more American? What do
the Americans love more than themselves? Tom loveable of war?
Speaker 1: Oh god, they love war, they love it.
Speaker 2: Now what do the Americans not have in their fleet
at this moment in time, in their fleet, Yeah, in
in their arsenal, in their in their in their in
their machines of war.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you what they don't have when they've dropped
fucking eighty percent of Iran. Apparently right now they're depleted
some serious But go on.
Speaker 2: Will I tell you what? You want to go into
Iran with Buddy Eagles, monster trucks and monster trucks. Let's come,
monster trucks roaring across the desert towards Fallujah to take
that bitch again much like.
Speaker 1: And just have like are we always always braying chrome
stuff into our face and going with you mad Max, go.
Speaker 2: Full mad Max with it. But like you know, let's
go tactical Max. Okay, there there, there, there there, They're
very death with American.
Speaker 1: Let's switch out the bodies because you know, you can
drop the body on to look like anything, like whatever
you want is what. Switch out one of those cyber trucks, right.
Speaker 2: A cyber monster truck, Camo version.
Speaker 1: With yeah, with maybe a generally flag on the top.
Speaker 2: With a generally flag on top of it. I'm reaching
here to him because I genuinely don't know what America
can do to be more American than what we witnessed
at the weekend. But that's what we love them for,
right how we say this?
Speaker 1: Do you know what it's? It's it's family guy, come
to life, like it really is, like if they started
just drilling for fucking just drilling for oil everywhere, like
I mean everywhere, like just having to go every fucking
place that has.
Speaker 2: Been an every time they do is invade themselves. Tom Yeah,
I think.
Speaker 1: They did that a while back. I think they did
that a while back because people think that they're living
in the land of the free.
Speaker 2: I get something to tell you. I gotta tell you
I saw as I saw online there about America during
the week. Yeah, if it wasn't for the shootings, you
wouldn't know the concert schools.
Speaker 1: But I just delighted to take Diego Lopez made it
back out of the cage that they didn't just fucking.
Speaker 2: To catch one more Mexican. Well listen, speaking of schools,
we're going to go back to school. We're going to
go back to school time for the final episode of
the Tomment Jerry Show. Ladies and gentlemen, you know what
we do for the final episode of the commentary show.
We take it all the way back to our childhoods
and talk about the ship we've seen in our forty
odd years on this planet. We call it we remember
when when I was a.
Speaker 1: Young lad twenty or thirty or forty years ago. I
get very excited when you put something like this across
my my, my, my desk. Jerry knows, he knows what
what gets.
Speaker 2: What takes a few softballs.
Speaker 1: You can do there is and if it comes down
to toyotas, I've had a couple of toyotas, and I
get so nostalgic when I you know, you see the
runs on Sundays during the summer. Sure there'll be a
Capri or two. There'll be you know, there'll be a
Mark one es cart and there'll be you know, old
Japanese stuff and all the res you know, but but
they'll be done up. When I see a stock stock
like Toyota Starlet or you know, even a Nissan Bluebird
or something like, fuck me, look at that time to
be alive, it isn't that the outlet in me. But
I can I remember when you and I said this
before about the tractors. I think everybody should have a
goal of a very basic car, like I mean super
basic for a week at least so you understand what
the feeling of the road is. Linkages are stuff like
that in your hands, so that it isn't just sitting
into the starship fucking enterprise.
Speaker 2: Well that's that's that's what we wanted to talk about
on this closing episode. Closing segment, closing episode, No ship,
We're not going anywhere, don't worry about that. The closing
segment of the show, we got to talking about cars,
me and Tom and the all mod cons that we
have on our cars to day is and they're whispered quiet,
and it's basically like it's an iPad on wheels. So
what we want to do for the closing segment of
the show is compare the cars that Tom is talking
about that we ourselves were driven around in the eighties
and early nineties to what we would expect to buy
going forward here. And we didn't want to just go like, well,
you know, top of the range, you know, super duper
land Rover, you know, range Rover, kind of a kind
of a job here, know what what would be an
affordable mid size family sedan, and that was indeed the
Tyler coroll Again, we wanted something that was available for
purchase in the eighties that is also available for purchase now,
which is the leef Talme. What you've done here is
a little bit of a matrix, Yeah, a little bit
of a chart between the Tiger Toyota Corollas of the
eighties that we would be familiar with and what the
Tayota Corollas are today.
Speaker 1: I call this thirty seven years I've gone places Corona
like it was. It's a hard one to find. As
Jerry said, like he picked out like if you went
to land Rover Mark one or Defenders like they've there's
they're incomparable, you know what I mean. You've gone from
fucking thrashing engines nearly up to fucking spaceships.
Speaker 2: And I want to say like that, I want to say,
like a Ford focus of today, I wasn't in the eighties.
Speaker 1: Wasn't like Granada. Yeah yeah, well the Grenada, No, it
would have been. The Escort been the focus, and like,
fuck the Ford Focus, I think we want, we want.
I fucking hate them. I had one for a brief
period I fucking hated and I had an Escort for
a little while to and I fucking hate it.
Speaker 2: So Tom so so Tom. Features Okay, we assume that
these cars had engines and wheels and whatnot.
Speaker 1: But features features, well, I'll quickly run through, like the
thing is cars is cars, cars, carrs Like your average
one that you were getting in the eighties was was
a four cylinder petrol. So that's exactly what it sounds like.
There's four pitch to four settlers and anywhere from one
point three to one point six light, you know, not
over wardened by anything heavy metal with light on fucking guts,
and your average the new tire grows are all hybrids
now more or less. Now you can get I think
you can get a two liter petro one, all right,
but typically they're like one point eight hybrids, you know. Electric, Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So number one that's one change straight away, horse
engineumer the horsepower.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the horse power had to come up in because
we weren't doing one hundred and twenty k you know,
you know you weren't, as you weren't, so you only
anywhere between the power outputs are the ones you could
get where anyone between sixty five and one hundred and
twenty one hundred and twenty two, which was good savage
for putting a cart on the road. But you're looking
at one hundred and thirty eight to one hundred and
fifty six in the So that's really all. I needn't
go into the fucking anymore of the of the nuts
and boats of it, but all of us for the
most part, even if if you're fucking eighteen and listen
to this, you know, there's a vast difference between eighteen
year old Corolla from now to the ones that are
there now. Right, Yes, but a lot of the features
that come in that would seem we nearly Mandela affected
ourselves into believing that we're always there. Weren't they They
were as there and but still something still remain, you know,
like there are symbols in life. So you give the
okay for when you're underwater and it will be there forever.
When people want to put down a you know, is
what I wanted to say, Yeah, put down your window. There,
put down your window. You don't go put down your window.
You don't. Nobody does that, even kids that wouldn't know.
Seventeen year old kids driving a fucking new Lexus today
wouldn't know. They do the wind down.
Speaker 2: The accepted symbol for wind down your win is a
window being wound down, which is what we did in
the eighties, but not anymore.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: Can you even get a car these days that doesn't
have electric windows.
Speaker 1: I can't think of it unless they're in the back
for safety or something. I don't know, Like I I
can't think of it for whatever reason. I don't, I
don't know. I don't think.
Speaker 2: So. I know we had no electric windows back in
the daytime. No, at the corollas of old did not
have electric windows. An actual fact, on occasion, we didn't
have the handle to put it down, and you'd get
like a mini set of ice scripts to grab it.
Speaker 1: There was a brief period Yurre where I had a
starlet for a couple of weeks and the window wouldn't
stay up. They had. The only thing they would just
keep it up was a half a timber clothes peg
ram down the inside the door card to keep it up,
and that kept it up, and.
Speaker 2: That kept it up. So number one, Number one, the
engines are different from these vehicles in the forty year
span that we've been driving around them. And number two,
simple things like how you put the fucking wind open down? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Nothing. There was not an option for air con now
it was. There was mooded that you could on a
Japanese import because Japan was hot, right, and they had
means of doing it. But we didn't have air con.
We did the UK did not have air con.
Speaker 2: Did we need it?
Speaker 1: Didn't we need it? You had four windows that you
could fucking wind down to let the fucking didis in
around the place and just let nature's air condition and
cool you down the and as we used to say,
up their way, put the blower on, Yeah, put the
blower on. Exactly.
Speaker 2: I gotta tell you, Tom, forty odd years driving, forty
odd years of living, thirty odd years of driving. You
see the thing in the blower of a car where
it's like there's just one symbol that looks like the
air's going over the car, and another symbol it looks
like the air's going into the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I don't know what the fuck that is, Okay, and
I don't want to find out.
Speaker 1: Okay, I want to tell you. So that's fine.
Speaker 2: I'm happy in my ignorance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if you find I will say, if you find
yourself in the carry side and you get a wofull
bang of shit, or you're driving behind the yoke, who's
fucking an injector has gone, has blown white smoke out
of it, put the air in the vehicle, one in
the vehicle and circulates the one in the So nowhere
can central lockinger central locking?
Speaker 2: No central lock. And I remember had a little I
don't even know if they're in cars. It was like
a little tit on the car that you pulled it up,
pushed it down. Well, I mean that's put you who
had to do all four doors individually, You had to
do them all individually four doors individual you put your
locked down, you remember that you put you didn't put
the come here right, You would all have to walk
back to the car and put the button down because
Jose didn't put the button down on her side. I
want to say, through time it became that if the
driver locked his door, the other forward locked.
Speaker 1: But that that's central Lockinger, that wasn't there. It wasn't
there in eighty eight.
Speaker 2: Well, sorry when I say when I say central lock,
and I mean like.
Speaker 1: You, that certainly wasn't there. That certainly that wasn't there.
Speaker 2: That's a standard in cars now.
Speaker 1: Again there was talks of the Japanese imports having it,
but I don't remember it in in nineteen eighty eight
Toio the Corolla, no.
Speaker 2: Not upper around car. Mcross will tell you it was
lock your door.
Speaker 1: So you you yeah, I mean never mind, you know,
keyless entry. Obviously there was no bloop plub. There was
no blop blub, no blue club. You had nothing like SAT.
You know SAT now as touch screens get the fuck
out of the USB charge.
Speaker 2: Like that's the thing thom. Even like the notion that
you would have a little map in your car that
updated to where you were. That wasn't the thing. I
can tell you what you had. You didn't have sad
enough times, you know what you had? Ye had the
atlas folded up, balled up in the globe fox. Yeah,
that the lap of Ireland that had a right way
to fold it. Fuck if anybody knew it. So generally
you just folded up.
Speaker 1: As best you can and it always ended up being
ten times fatter than it should have been exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, and the roads you wanted to drive, that
was where the crease was and you couldn't see shit.
That was your sad enough now.
Speaker 1: I mean, these are not probably some surprising a lot
of people. What is surprising, though, what is surprising is
that in nineteen eighty eight Corolla did have a rare Again,
this was one that was definitely on in some Irish roads,
cruise control. Because cruise control isn't that big of a deal,
like you know what I mean, it isn't. You're just
locking out the throttle. Really, that's all you're doing is
locking out the throttle. Probably would imagine it was nearly
like cranking a lever. It wasn't like pushing a button
where it electronically locks and it.
Speaker 2: Wasn't putting the speed of up and down with a
little button on your wheel either.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'd say it was like in a track,
this is going to be You just pulled you remember
the tractors to head that throttle behind the steering wheel,
and it was just a stiff bar. You just fucking
pulled down to a certain point. And I'm guessing that's
all it did was lock it out.
Speaker 2: You let me ask you a question, Tom, because it
never adequately explained to me what a choke was.
Speaker 1: Oh, okay, it chokes. Yeah, chokes were thing She's well
pointed out. Yeah, chokes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So a choke allows more petrol in than it's efficient.
You couldn't be driving around with the choke open because
you actually you would what's known as flood the engine,
which is you're drowning your engine in too much petrol
that it can't burn give. But also sometimes you know
what I mean, like you to get out of the
bed in the morning, you need to smell the sausages
down the fucking you know, But you couldn't spend your
day in bed eating Pucan sasages all day. You could,
but you die of you know what I mean, this
is a very rough fucking analogy, but it is for
that purpose. It's just and small still two stroke engines
like lawnmowers and streamers, they will still have a little
choke on them just to allow a bit in, a
bit extra than you normally would need. Now, you need
that just to get the carr up out of bed
in the morning, especially a cold fucking morning when all
be all fuel with a drained back out of cylinders
and whatnot.
Speaker 2: So now my question is what change that that isn't
needed in care.
Speaker 1: Automatic chokedure or don't worry about it. Oh, you don't
have to automatic choke.
Speaker 2: A standard in the twenty twenty six it is, it
certainly would be.
Speaker 1: And you you've you've better petrol technology too, like you've
better oil technology to where it's you know, you have
this stuff that will actually kind of stay where it's
supposed to be. You're not completely drained back into the
fucking tank or whatever like, so you will you'll have
a bit there unless I'm guessing maybe maybe over a
few weeks. But also you've got you've got the notion
of a hybrid too, which maybe I don't know. Can
you start off an electric I've I've never I know
I've driven them on as higher cars, but I can't remember.
Can you drive off an electrics? John, don't really care.
It's it's not you know, it's it's what about?
Speaker 2: What about gizmos and gadgets? Some what gazzet?
Speaker 1: So you're down to just the Are you sure ship?
Are not pairing anything with anything? You know what I mean?
You ain't pairing your phone with your Spotify that's on
the fucking toutch screen.
Speaker 2: Like Ken's stressed enough, folks, none of this ship existed.
Speaker 1: You had an a m f M radio and you
were fucking glad of it, which you analog style wound
from left to right?
Speaker 2: Would I argue Tom that you had an a m
f M radio but I also had l W on
it as well. Was it l w R a medium
or MW LW for long wave to pick up long
wave radio? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Long wave to I don't I know.
Speaker 2: I know the fucking bands have been shut down, man, Yeah, I.
Speaker 1: Know, I know, and I mean this is the I
know that there's some old school rednecks that were listening
to this now going love that Joe bang a CB
area no, no, no, stay away. Look we're staying stock
for the minute. Yeah, yeah, of course, you know, not
all of them came with but you could if you
got if you had a good in with your dealership,
you could get the cassette player with that. Because some
of them just came with a radio. And that was.
Speaker 2: This is because this is a whole industry that today
they don't know about. That you would go and buy
a car radio. You would buy a car radio.
Speaker 1: And have them stolen. Like cars with cars, radios would
get stolen.
Speaker 2: They would break the window and commit and grab it.
Nobody's breaking the window of your of your reno captor
and robbing the media console out of the minute the middle. No, no,
that's not happening.
Speaker 1: No, no, not of hope, and like it wasn't there
to be happened. You could there was. It was a
whole industry. I remember, I remember there was. I was
trying to explain this to the lad the other day.
I was like, so there wasn't Spotify. It's like, so
where did your music stay? I said, stayed on a well,
a little disc, a little black box. And he goes,
so what what was on that? That's whatever one music
you chose to leave the house with that.
Speaker 2: Day, whatever you put on it.
Speaker 1: So what band what? Technically you could record a bunch
of bands onto it. And this is a creature of
a that's fine, you just left the time.
Speaker 2: But that I find when I'm want to explain these
things to my payer, the touchtown round and they're like, yeah,
but that's Spotify, and I'm like, yeah, damn it, I
just said it wasn't a thing. Yeah, I don't that
we had the option of Spotify or this, and we're
just like, era, fuck it, will take the tapes.
Speaker 1: There was obviously no heated electric mirrors back in the day.
You manually move them little things with a do you know?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, they didn't heat themselves up in the frost?
Speaker 1: Did they fuck steel wheels all round? None of this
alloy rubbish, you know what I mean? Not even a
home cap. When did alloys come in to them? I
feel like that's like a nineties it is very united
scene because the any lad that I knew with the hand,
the civics or anything around, they were switching out the
stock steel wheels that came on it. And I'm still
a fan of steel wheels. I like steel wheels amazingly.
My car has steel wheels with the with the hubcap
on it, the whob cap that makes it look like
but I took them off.
Speaker 2: I love them.
Speaker 1: They're black steel wheels and they're big, aggressive looking fucking things.
And you know, Watcher, I could hit a thousand bottles
and never been to any care, but I feel like
steel fucking wheels. And so yes, they steals all around
with the little cap, the little Toyota cap. And what
I thing that they've come back with the the the
the inside, and I've seen it on the new Toyota
land Cruiser that's out. They've gone for a very old
they've gone now for the little cap inside with the
and stuff. There's little note there's beautiful little notions on
the new land Cruiser where they've harked back to, like
the It's lovely. It's lovely to see that they've gone
back to come back to those old school ways. Aside
from that, like you're talking about a much tougher fucking vehicle,
like the bumper, the mumper issue. You ain't getting air bags,
you're not getting side I pack bags, you're not getting
side in pack bars. One of the first cars I've
ever had them was like sabs and Volvos, you know
what I mean. And we all thought amazing, thank of
a thing, but sh what would you need them for?
Do you know nobody really grasped what side impact bars
are fucking or roll cages? And no, no, no, no,
we we we did.
Speaker 2: Now it must be said. Now come around in the
golden age of the crash test dummy, where oh yeah,
it had to be explained to us on tomorrow's world
what an airbag was and what an air bag does.
And here's crash test dummy footage of how that is
going to save your life and has been a life
changing invention in their timetime. Here's what it is standard
and charts days.
Speaker 1: Thankfully, here's one for you that this this You may
not you physically have not had this moment of nostalgia
in a long time. Setting the odometer, as Americans will
call it, back to zero, you would have to wind
that little shtick sticking out of the console. Remember that,
feel feel the chunk of it, chunk. And but in
the eighties you could Forst Bueller and I can guarantee
you this because you could do it on the nism
Lou Bird in the in the in the fucking early nineties. Anyway,
if you could get it up on chocks and put
it in reverse for a while, you can bat it back,
roll it back. Now that very quickly, it was I
thinking about I just got lucky with that particular character,
the Oulvolve vote that we had afterwards. I think that
was old, if not as older than it.
Speaker 2: You couldn't do that. It just was not.
Speaker 1: It wasn't going backwards for you. But I had that
popped into my into my zeitgeist. There was like a
fuck you remember the button. It was actually a little stick.
You didn't hit a button that set it to zero
to see how your MPG was doing, or this fucking
thing just went yeah, wind me back if you want,
don't if you don't the same, if anybody's kind of
what you talking about, the same like if you were
if you were doing the door on a fucking venue
and you're clicking the clicker, those same for little get
you know across a.
Speaker 2: Row about nine across, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.
Speaker 1: Other than that, what changes are there time, well, what
changes there are there is they were military grade. The
lights of the land Cruiser and the Corolla and a
couple more were made with a twenty five year lifespan,
and most of th most of their nuts and boats,
and if anybody's wondering and gone, especially the land cruisers,
the land cruisers up until about two thousand and three.
If you can get one two thousand and two, that's
in good nick, buy it and never get rid of it,
because after about that point, Toyota, like the rest of
the world, realized, what the fuck are we doing?
Speaker 2: Why are we making long lesson things? There's no money
in that now like you had absolescence.
Speaker 1: Time, it was not weird and it was very much
commonplace that a Corolla starting its life in the mid
eighties would make it a three hundred thousand with normal
servicing obviously, timing belt and stuff like that. The plugs
and points. Plugs and points are gone now as well,
do you know what I mean? But especially they're not
in a hybrid anymore. But having the consumables changed, we'll
call you so the likes that they your all your filters,
your tupper belts break, but all that. But it wasn't
uncommon for them to make it the three hundred k
and people the thing, here's the thing, jer here's the thing.
What a bulletproof Japanese car from the eighties gave you
or was allowed to give you no keeping up with
the Joneses, and that's what fucked us. Like I'm looking
around and God bless them there people are like the
amount of eighty and ninety grand SUVs that are driving
around these roads.
Speaker 2: Like I just what the fuck?
Speaker 1: That's an that's a that's that's not that's a half
a house in some parts of the country, Like what
that is a fucking and I you know, if like
you didn't go and pay monthly for nineteen eighty eight
fucking Corolla, you didn't you fucking bought the danger you
the thing, or you got a credit Union, you've got
a credit Union loan. You didn't go whatever that's pt P,
you know what I mean, you didn't pay Yeah, yeah, yeah,
you know PP. I don't know how that's I don't Yeah,
this was the thing. And they quickly, they quickly fucking
turned about face and like we can't now in all fairness,
a Toyota is still a great car. Like one of
the finest ones you'll ever get is the two liters
D four D from the mid like a zero four
one of them on a Corolla fucking one of the
greatest engines I believe there ever was. So it wasn't
that they quickly declined or an like that. But I
will tell you here now you were never gone. You
just you were set. You're set to fail now versus
back in the day, they.
Speaker 2: Just lessons the thing. They don't exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: I'm just you know what, I never actually checked how
much was a nineteen eighty eight Toyota. It was five
onions and two pallets in Ireland. We'll say, yeah, we'll
transfer in Ireland. Let's see what I oh well, I mean,
oh yeah, because of course we were in punts at
the time. Yes, about nine thousand punts for the basic
Still that.
Speaker 2: Was a lot for a working land.
Speaker 1: It is dough, Jerry, But do you know what, here's
the fucking thing. It drove you for three thousand, three
hundred fucking thousand miles. And as your average person said,
and how this came up to Jerry, I sent Jerry on.
I think from a four truck, whether it was the
F fift, like the F two fifty or something from
the seven seventies in America, gave an optional extra of
a fucking chainsaw. That would sit in the engine bay.
And that's what got our brain thinking, like with this
that that thing with minimum of vice scripts And as
my own outlad used to change the oil filters like
he would he had like he had a strap for
opening the fucking oil filter, but didn't bother his whole
He just drove a fucking flat out, big long, flat
oued screwdriver through the side of it and turned and
just turned it. Yeah, and that was it, and then
he graced up the next one rammed it on. And
that's that's how you kept your car going, do you
know what I mean? Like, so you're nine thousand euros
what our pounds was money well fucking spent because you're
going to get your You're going to get your three
hundred thousand. And there was no like fucking shame of
choosing only driving a Corolla. People come around to go
fuck a fair place. You've got a car that actually goes.
Speaker 2: You know, I'll tell you what it was, and it wasn't.
You're paying sixty grand for a car and find out
after three years time that you never really owned it.
You just sort of hired it in the time, and.
Speaker 1: It's broken your fucking heart. Lost.
Speaker 2: You're the security deposit on it and you're at Cars Tom,
I feeling we'll be back in Corolla Land before too long. Yeah,
but there you go. What we drove around back then
versus what we're driving around here now. Folks a few
events and say about the cars you drove around. Oh, Betty,
happily in your in your ute, or maybe you're incredibly
youtiful and you haven't even gotten your driver's license. Y.
Actually the rarest the rare things. A teenage listener to
the Tom and Jerry Show, how the fuck did you
find the show? That's what I want to know. But
whatever you are going to do, you can let us
know on our social media channels. Find us at Tom
and Show on Instagram, Tom with a T, Jerry with
a G. If you're looking for me, you'll find me
over on Blue Sky at Jerry McBride, Tomo Man and
his Heart choice his Instagram. We have a couple of
comments on the on the Spotify great from last week.
They as for what people are looking for in the
New York sewers. You might remember we were talking about that.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Deirdre claims that she would be looking there's a chance
that the lasts that are going down in the sewers
in New York City are looking for dumped weapons. Not
a bad shout. Indeed, there's We've got people replying to
her replies. Look at this, looking for dumped weapons is
a good shout, says mac put. It's the equivalent of
going snorkeling in a slurry tank. Yeah, absolutely right, Yeah,
I can find weapons elsewhere. Anybody who wants to go
digging into that story. I didn't even bother send any on. Yeah,
it seems to be a bit more nefarious than even
we were messing with. Oh really, well, I'll tell you
what this we were recording on Monday. Maybe I'll get
some some things up on the Instagram between now and then,
so you'll be hearing now about stuff that I plan
to do that I've already done. Man, it's like Inception.
Tell these people to do something last time.
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. Well, you bet my brain inside out as
you just did. You can comment on Spotify and we
will see them. As Jerry said, follow us on all
the user platforms if you can hit subscribe whatever platform
you're on right now, and give us the five stars.
You have done beautifully in fairness when we ask you,
you've done it. It's absolutely fantastic, So do please give
us the five stars. If you can share it, that'll
be absolutely fantastic. I think there's a one as I
say this, there'll be kind of one more chance where
I'm doing it. I'm giving a talk at the Care
Wellness Festival jar about the benefits of going to see
comedy and enjoying ourself and what and piggyback in the
whole situation is Natasha's gonna cut her hair get her
hair cut on stage. So if anybody wants to donate
to the Laurelin Foundation, that'll be great. You can see
see the link in all the usual places you'd find
them other than nature.
Speaker 2: I gotta I gotta tell you I wone thing, Tom.
I'm not gonna announce it now, but because I have
an exact days and dates, but I will be doing
a gig. Yeah very I'm I'm going to tell you
more about that next week when I have the when
I have the full details of it for my friends.
Speaker 1: Ager it's it's late, it's later. I'm gonna go and
draw some cars. I mean that was I'm just gonna draw.
Speaker 2: A Corolla go ahead, Take care of good look