Speaker 1: You're watching Chewing the Cud with Mike, Benyon Row and
Speaker 1: Aaron twitching.
Speaker 2: And I said, like chocolate auses are not really an
Speaker 2: appropriate Valentine's gift.
Speaker 3: But there we go. Hello, welcome to Chewing the Cats.
Speaker 3: I am error Chitchen.
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 3: I'm very good. I don't know what I felt like
Speaker 3: I had to announce myself, how are you?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: I thought you might follow suits and announce yours.
Speaker 1: I am Michael James Edward Benyon Rowe.
Speaker 3: Oh that was very cool. Now I didn't full name myself.
Speaker 3: What have we got today, Mike.
Speaker 1: Today, Well, I have a story about an accidental wash,
Speaker 1: and then I'm going to bring you something that's barely
Speaker 1: scientific in that science though.
Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to I love a bit of science.
Speaker 2: And we even have a game to play in our
Speaker 2: Game of the Week. But on screen now you can
Speaker 2: see our social media contact info.
Speaker 1: Just look for at the Cud TV And as the
Speaker 1: names of people who dropped us a line on the
Speaker 1: old tinter web go along the bottom of the screen,
Speaker 1: it's time for Aaron and the Showbis.
Speaker 2: Elliott Page has made groundbreaking historic news. Actor Elliott Page, Well,
Speaker 2: what did they do with the film not familiar with.
Speaker 1: Well, when they transitioned on the Umbrella Academy.
Speaker 2: I did to watch that. Actually, is that the first
Speaker 2: time a character has done.
Speaker 1: That IRL in real life?
Speaker 3: They handled that pretty well.
Speaker 2: Well, Well, this time it's for a movie that they're
Speaker 2: in and the director is the first trans director I
Speaker 2: believe to be nominated in the short film live action.
Speaker 2: These are categories are so long, like this live action
Speaker 2: short the very very long. So this is a movie.
Speaker 2: It's actually only twenty minutes long. So if you're like me,
Speaker 2: can't handle a long movie, Like if anything over ninety
Speaker 2: minutes makes you think count bloody do it, this could
Speaker 2: be the movie for you. Only twenty minutes. Starts off
Speaker 2: you're thinking I've not watched review. It's called avocado start off,
Speaker 2: you think avocado pit.
Speaker 3: Actually it's cooled, it's just wrong on the autoque behind
Speaker 3: the scenes secret revealed.
Speaker 2: It starts off with a sex worker gets in squar
Speaker 2: it starts to turn violent and then takes an unexpected turn. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Elliot's looking tired. They're looking like me today, but happy,
Speaker 2: and that's what's important.
Speaker 1: I be but tired. I think that's a phrase.
Speaker 2: Yeah, are you someone that Watches nominated for I'm no what,
Speaker 2: I can't remember what it was nominated for.
Speaker 1: Well, I think Elliott Page is a a fun favorite.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well divisive? What's it? Very busy? You just
Speaker 3: had a book out as well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm sure there's a final series of Umbrella ACADGORI.
Speaker 1: If you're watching, take a day off, Darli, have a
Speaker 1: coup of tea, have a break.
Speaker 3: You've been through enough. It's time you can just sit
Speaker 3: back with a good book. Next story. Are you okay?
Speaker 2: Because I don't seem like I'm okay. I don't know
Speaker 2: if you've noticed today I'm not okay. And don't you
Speaker 2: feel like sometimes you just need someone to ask if
Speaker 2: you're okay?
Speaker 1: And I'd appreciate someone just asking on occasion. Are you okay?
Speaker 3: You're Okayhn, you're okay?
Speaker 2: Han, Well, that's what Elmo has been doing. Elmo has
Speaker 2: been is a map at me? Yeah, that's straight there
Speaker 2: he is. Look, he's just been on Twitter, formerly known
Speaker 2: as X formerly known as Twitter. I'm always going to
Speaker 2: call it Twitter. Screw you, eel On Musk. You don't
Speaker 2: control my house.
Speaker 3: You could for the.
Speaker 1: Right price, you don't. My mouth.
Speaker 3: Mask has been asking people if they're okay, and there.
Speaker 1: Is asking people if they are okay.
Speaker 2: Oh, both have Elon Musk through the platform that Elon
Speaker 2: muscow Almo was asking people if they're okay. Maybe Elon
Speaker 2: Musk has put a chip in my head and it's
Speaker 2: backfiring today because I do not know anything in this
Speaker 2: section and the response is got dark. They did people
Speaker 2: people were treating Alma like their therapists unpaid. You don't
Speaker 2: need to post that.
Speaker 1: Well, I think it sat. That was supposed to be
Speaker 1: lighthearted fun and it just went a bit accidentally dark accidentally.
Speaker 1: So it's like people say you're right, and you go, no,
Speaker 1: I'm awful I'm asking that question.
Speaker 3: That's a very Polish thing, you know, so like in Poland,
Speaker 3: you don't. You don't like this kind should we do?
Speaker 3: How are you?
Speaker 2: And really we just expected you to like, Yeah, in
Speaker 2: Poland they don't do that. They if you ask how
Speaker 2: someone is and they think you're asking because they care,
Speaker 2: and then they will tell you all about their problems
Speaker 2: and their ailments and their woes, which are quite like
Speaker 2: why do we lie so much?
Speaker 1: I love it? In the doctor's surgery child doing on
Speaker 1: my grand I used to hear oh are you doing Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm fine. It's like what you're doing here?
Speaker 3: Then why are you and the doctors?
Speaker 1: If you're fine, that train on that chest this.
Speaker 3: Way, you can't get an appointment there.
Speaker 2: All the old ladies that are fine just going because
Speaker 2: they've nothing better to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, watch count now say yeah that make you well? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I like the fact that that Alma was asking people
Speaker 1: if they're okay when people were responding back going, I
Speaker 1: think life's a bit of a waste of space. Or
Speaker 1: I'm glad you asked, because that's the only person that's
Speaker 1: asked all week, like.
Speaker 2: Staying your lay now, I think they're really good at
Speaker 2: what you do. I think this is a misstep for you.
Speaker 2: I mean, great, you've gone viral, but stick to your ABC,
Speaker 2: not your UK.
Speaker 1: Hans Elm was only three and a half years old.
Speaker 3: Still huh. Alma and Maria Kerrey have a lot in common.
Speaker 1: Then, and me, I am still only twenty one.
Speaker 3: I'd say, al make a do that we shave. That's
Speaker 3: let's let's see a new look from you. Let's see
Speaker 3: what else you can do shaving. Elma, Oh, I've seen
Speaker 3: that movie.
Speaker 1: That's that's a specialist film.
Speaker 3: Shaving elmo Ye. I didn't enjoy it. It was a
Speaker 3: bit bit accidentally dark.
Speaker 2: I'd say, Okay, I've been on the promotional trot too long.
Speaker 3: This is get hard way. But one final story for you,
Speaker 3: drag Race. You're a big drag Race fan.
Speaker 1: I like drag Race. I'm a bit drug raced out
Speaker 1: because we're on what season nineteen of one and then
Speaker 1: forty two of another and they were running at the
Speaker 1: same time.
Speaker 2: And it's true, I know, and people do say that
Speaker 2: our is too much of it. It's too much of it,
Speaker 2: and I think, get over yourself. It's joyous, it's happy.
Speaker 2: There's not really any misery and drama. And people watch
Speaker 2: two hours two and a half hours and or soap
Speaker 2: every week every week.
Speaker 3: That's relentless. No, I don't. I don't think anyone does
Speaker 3: really today.
Speaker 2: But you know that's there, and it's only an hour
Speaker 2: drag Race, and you don't have to watch all of it.
Speaker 2: You can skip quite a lot if you want to.
Speaker 3: Anyway, that's not the story o.
Speaker 2: The story is actually focusing on the unsung heroes of
Speaker 2: drag Race, the pit crew.
Speaker 3: Love the pit crew and Jesse here he is there
Speaker 3: he is there. He is.
Speaker 2: I'm honestly going to tell you now, I do not
Speaker 2: know what his face looks like because when someone's got
Speaker 2: their hippos out, I can't focus on their face and
Speaker 2: I'm very distracted.
Speaker 3: Now look at him. He's got a full range. He's
Speaker 3: an actor.
Speaker 2: You probably don't know this is an actor and this
Speaker 2: is him going range, sultry, horny, thirsty. He's back for
Speaker 2: a series. It looks like he's staying on.
Speaker 3: Okay, do you reckon? You could have been pit crew.
Speaker 3: I know what's what? Why not?
Speaker 1: Everything from my forehead down? Would it's not pick material?
Speaker 2: See, I don't think it's a bit of the body
Speaker 2: for me. I mean, look at him there, bless him.
Speaker 2: Look at him staring straight into the light, alert his
Speaker 2: eyes like that.
Speaker 3: But got the shot.
Speaker 2: And for me, it's that they don't ever get to talk.
Speaker 2: I'd be terrible on it because I'd be constantly trying
Speaker 2: to have a personality on the show. And he's been
Speaker 2: the three or four series now and he's back for
Speaker 2: this one.
Speaker 3: And who is he?
Speaker 2: What do we know about his likes and dislikes? He
Speaker 2: used to date Toddrick Haul We know that. Well, yeah,
Speaker 2: I found that out by reading a thirty second article
Speaker 2: on the show, and I'd managed to retain that information.
Speaker 2: But what about him, Who does he vote for Will
Speaker 2: Young or Gareth Gates?
Speaker 3: We don't know. We don't know anything about it.
Speaker 2: Oh, I imagine he loves bananas and look at those veins.
Speaker 2: Madonna would be just oh, he has got an auti
Speaker 2: belly button. Oh, you know, that's body diversity there, This
Speaker 2: is ruperul giving us the full range of the human body.
Speaker 2: Here an auti belly button. Don't be disgusted, kids, It
Speaker 2: could happen to it anyway.
Speaker 1: It's like, would report put a ginger on as pit
Speaker 1: crew to your diversity.
Speaker 2: Dis Yeah, they can't tan. It was very difficult to
Speaker 2: be on TV if you can't tan.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I always feel sorry for the pit crew because they
Speaker 1: are in a room with like four or five drag
Speaker 1: queens by the end of it, who have not had
Speaker 1: human contact for a long time, and they tend to
Speaker 1: get very I don't say sexually aggressive towards them, just
Speaker 1: a bit worried about the pit crew sometimes going in
Speaker 1: and going oh no, not that one again.
Speaker 3: It's a bit lawsuit, he isn't it.
Speaker 2: It's well given the number of people on drag Race
Speaker 2: that have had lawsuits active during the time of filming.
Speaker 3: I don't know if we're legally allowed to say that.
Speaker 1: Allegedly there have been people who have been with lawsuits
Speaker 1: while filming drag Race.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I just want to know how much drag
Speaker 2: Race pays for pit crew as well, because he's got
Speaker 2: an online fitness industry as well, and he does a
Speaker 2: little bit of acting. Apparently he was in Hustlers. I
Speaker 2: don't remember him. He must have had his nipples out,
Speaker 2: Thats why I.
Speaker 3: Don't But how much do they pay?
Speaker 2: Do they make more than the Queen's and the UK
Speaker 2: one They must do because they don't make anything.
Speaker 1: I don't think they get paid a basic wage, but
Speaker 1: I don't think they're there for.
Speaker 3: You, paid by screen minute.
Speaker 1: Probably.
Speaker 2: I think we should have pit crew all stars where
Speaker 2: we actually get to learn and understand about the pit crew.
Speaker 3: That's what I think. This is what I'm calling for.
Speaker 1: And we should have them doing little challenges against each other,
Speaker 1: like the one where they do that whole photo shooting
Speaker 1: a fish tank one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then you have a design challenge or hear
Speaker 2: all the pants Now you have to design a Pantanah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that's got legs. Well, it definitely, it would
Speaker 2: have legs, it would have torsos, biceps only one.
Speaker 1: Chin, only one chin. Okay, that's it for the show
Speaker 1: bits section. Well, thank you very much for that. Always
Speaker 1: nice to know that you can distract with a pair
Speaker 1: of nipples.
Speaker 3: Well, you are welcome to stick around as next it's
Speaker 3: Mike in the Buzz. You're watching chewing the card with
Speaker 3: me Aaron twitching and him Mike. Now let's go deep
Speaker 3: into the somewhat poorly lit web as it's Mike and
Speaker 3: the Buzz.
Speaker 1: How you ever washed something that you shouldn't have in
Speaker 1: the washing machine?
Speaker 3: I was like, I keep mind very clean.
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm always rowing with my washing machine actually because
Speaker 2: it's a liar. Okay, my washing machine tells a lot
Speaker 2: of lies. It'll be like I'll be done in eight minutes,
Speaker 2: and then you come about forty minutes later and it's
Speaker 2: like ooh, still.
Speaker 3: Going like and I get very nervous about washing things.
Speaker 2: I think a lot of my clothes are very delicate,
Speaker 2: so I probably have Yeah, I've shrunk a lot of things.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know when it's doing that whole lying thing.
Speaker 1: It means you put too much stuff in it.
Speaker 3: Keep hearing that.
Speaker 2: But like I have washing that needs to be done,
Speaker 2: the washing machine's job is to clean it and get
Speaker 2: over yourself to steal.
Speaker 3: I don't believe washing machines are that intelligent. Actually might
Speaker 3: Everyone keeps going on, Oh, it can sense how much
Speaker 3: is in there? It's too much.
Speaker 1: How it depends how much water is passing through the
Speaker 1: waist pipe as.
Speaker 3: I don't believe that, I honestly don't.
Speaker 2: I think that's lies the washing machine company have told you,
Speaker 2: because they've yet to install a timer that works.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just a random look.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's that's the conspiracy theory. Hill, I will die on.
Speaker 3: I don't care about where.
Speaker 2: The pyramids got here, or aliens or the vaccine being fake.
Speaker 2: I care about washing machine life.
Speaker 1: What about the toast button? Put toast?
Speaker 2: What's those numbers mean? Why didn't it just say crump
Speaker 2: it and then like color?
Speaker 3: That's the toast brands? Get me on the Apprentice.
Speaker 1: What's a lady called Briley coaches from Norfolk? Right? Who
Speaker 1: accidentally washed a nan Sorry, I had a nine cremated.
Speaker 1: They each got a little oh my god, and accidentally
Speaker 1: put her through the wash Oh now good A way
Speaker 1: to go good loos is the bag was so tightly
Speaker 1: that some ashes still left. So she didn't lose all
Speaker 1: of it, no, so yes, but she did lose a
Speaker 1: significant proportion of a nun in the washing machine.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's awful. It is.
Speaker 2: She doesn't look that upset about it, and then she
Speaker 2: looks very happy and pretty though who did her lips?
Speaker 2: That's a lovely highlight. I mean, the only thing is
Speaker 2: it's not a nan is it? She lost some random
Speaker 2: ashes because they don't give you your actual ashes do
Speaker 2: They just give you a bit of dirt from the ground.
Speaker 3: That's another thing. I don't believe in cremations.
Speaker 2: It's another conspiracy unless I'm actually watching it burn there,
Speaker 2: and then I don't believe any of it.
Speaker 1: Do you know?
Speaker 2: This is what I found out this week? You know
Speaker 2: the coffin when you go to a comic, you know,
Speaker 2: they don't burn the coffin. They take them out and
Speaker 2: then burn them. Why are we paying for the coffin?
Speaker 2: Why can't you rent a coffin?
Speaker 1: Can you?
Speaker 3: Oh? Well that's that bit Dane.
Speaker 2: So my lte spent a fortune on her mum to
Speaker 2: go in this like glittery coffin and it was stamming.
Speaker 3: I'd want to be burning it. I wanted wanted to
Speaker 3: go with me.
Speaker 1: But if if I'm spending that which went on a coffin,
Speaker 1: I'd want to get buried. I don't want to burn
Speaker 1: the coffin.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: True, Gary just threaten to bury me there. Yeah, good
Speaker 1: news is sort of nandas remained and she didn't have
Speaker 1: the only pot that were shared amongst people so she
Speaker 1: could get some more.
Speaker 3: Oh she got a good ash.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You mentioned before about el Elon musk.
Speaker 2: El Yeah, oh is there any elon mask porn?
Speaker 3: I did enjoy that really. Yeah, he gets over in
Speaker 3: business and then he gets over and all.
Speaker 2: I love seeing rich people fall, so I think I
Speaker 2: probably really enjoy watching a porno where it's a really
Speaker 2: rich person getting absolutely screwed by like some peasant worker
Speaker 2: that he's screwed over something.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Yeah, accidentally, dark Elmo, I'm not fine, well.
Speaker 3: Very much.
Speaker 2: Well that's my Internet search being checked by the fence.
Speaker 2: How am I still on Twitter about that?
Speaker 1: Guy's created a patch that you can have installed in
Speaker 1: your brain and he said it's to help people with paralysis,
Speaker 1: and so they can control computers and environments and that
Speaker 1: sort of thing. And it's a hefty piece of kit.
Speaker 1: That's that's in your brain.
Speaker 3: Hang on, that's the size of that finger, right, okay, okay,
Speaker 3: in your brain controlling things.
Speaker 1: I'm concerned.
Speaker 2: I mean, I did hear about this, and then the
Speaker 2: lovely person on the radio said, it's not really mine
Speaker 2: control stuff.
Speaker 3: But maybe they add a chip.
Speaker 1: Who knows. I just don't.
Speaker 2: Trusteal a mask, but I think if it's helping people.
Speaker 2: I mean, we do do things all the time that
Speaker 2: we put things into our bodies.
Speaker 3: You get chips.
Speaker 2: You can get chip, well you and I can't because
Speaker 2: we don't meant straight. But you can get like a
Speaker 2: chip that does you the pill. It releases the hormones
Speaker 2: for that, doesn't it.
Speaker 3: Lots of women, you.
Speaker 1: Can have chips. Yeah, I do get chips put them
Speaker 1: in my body.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I don't.
Speaker 2: No, Yeah, we do get chips and put them in
Speaker 2: our So we do use chips of things like that.
Speaker 2: And I imagine that there are also some chips that
Speaker 2: they use. But I guess it's the level of how
Speaker 2: easy is this to update?
Speaker 3: How much control do they have?
Speaker 1: And that's my concern. It's Elon Musk having control of
Speaker 1: or something that's in my brain.
Speaker 3: I feel like it's.
Speaker 2: Probably been blown up a little bit more than it
Speaker 2: actually is in my brain. You imagine I'm going to
Speaker 2: be like the boys? Yeah, I just I just don't
Speaker 2: know how Elon Musk is still not going to about
Speaker 2: being trusted with stuff.
Speaker 3: Hasn't he proven that he can't? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I mean it's like Tesla cars and stuff and space X.
Speaker 2: I just know apparently he's the first self made for
Speaker 2: self made billionaire that's also going to get demoted. People
Speaker 2: never get demoted from billionaire to millionaire, and he's going
Speaker 2: to because he's spent all his money messing up Twitter.
Speaker 1: Good long why he continues spending all of his money
Speaker 1: so he has no more power?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Enough so that he has to turn to low grade
Speaker 2: porn parodies starring as himself.
Speaker 3: I have a feeling that you would watch that. I
Speaker 3: now am so intrigued to find out what's there?
Speaker 1: Could we get to carry on that? Sorry? Cool? And
Speaker 1: if you want to see people in porn that you
Speaker 1: really shouldn't offer, you to share it with us at
Speaker 1: the cod TV on our social media and that brings
Speaker 1: us to our story of the week.
Speaker 3: Oh now, penis shape, it's familiar.
Speaker 1: Okay, do you have a preferred one?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I prefer just one. That's not always true. Why
Speaker 3: I feeling so much? Can we cut that? I want
Speaker 3: that cut? That's how I want it cut. I'm really
Speaker 3: not picky.
Speaker 2: I don't know I've ever seen a penis and thought,
Speaker 2: oh my god, it's beautiful, Like they're just they're not
Speaker 2: the sort of thing that strikes you withh I'm far
Speaker 2: more interested in the rest of the package, I think
Speaker 2: than the penis. Well, because if the nipples are out,
Speaker 2: I won't see it anyway.
Speaker 1: Oh no, sorry, nipples, I.
Speaker 3: See it.
Speaker 1: So the reason why I ask is because they've done
Speaker 1: a study.
Speaker 3: A sturdy I do like them sturdy.
Speaker 1: They've done a study, right, They've pulled the people, as
Speaker 1: you will, about penis shaping things. Yeah, they've actually come
Speaker 1: out with the fact that it depends on what you're
Speaker 1: looking for from the penis.
Speaker 3: Is this boyfriend penis.
Speaker 1: Well, whether it's boyfriend penis or just one off encounter
Speaker 1: penis right, right, Because apparently if you want a one
Speaker 1: off encounter penis right, you want it a little bit long.
Speaker 1: So over eight inches and of a decent girth, right,
Speaker 1: but boyfriend penis, you'd prefer a little bit shorter.
Speaker 2: I mean I've seen the term boyfriend penis being thrown
Speaker 2: around a lot on the internet.
Speaker 3: I you know, I think we.
Speaker 2: All need to get over penis size, like just forget
Speaker 2: about it, because it's just I'm tired of people being
Speaker 2: proud that they've got big cocks, to be honest, because
Speaker 2: you've done nothing to earn it. Like, it's not like
Speaker 2: you've strapped yourself to a machine and like pulled it
Speaker 2: like it.
Speaker 1: Some people have them.
Speaker 2: Oh, I did actually watch this documentary, Actually, me and
Speaker 2: my friends Alice watched this documentary about penises.
Speaker 3: Did you watch it? She put it on. It was
Speaker 3: with his Love Island Star.
Speaker 2: She was going around watching people have penis jobs and stuff,
Speaker 2: and they were like they're.
Speaker 3: Cutting it open and like putting their hand in there while.
Speaker 1: They were awake.
Speaker 3: These people were awake now, And he only gained an
Speaker 3: extra three centimeters on a two inch dick. I mean
Speaker 3: that's not going to make a difference, is it.
Speaker 2: But the point is it doesn't matter how big your
Speaker 2: dick is because you've done nothing to earn it. I
Speaker 2: think we should start bragging about other things. Let's have
Speaker 2: like boyfriends voluntary credits, Like how much is he volunteered?
Speaker 2: Does he a magistrate?
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? What can he do? Can
Speaker 3: he get you out of trouble? What is connection? I
Speaker 3: don't care about penis shape. What's the ideal for you?
Speaker 1: I don't have an ideal.
Speaker 3: You'd just be happy to have one, would you.
Speaker 1: At this point? Yeah? Yeah, it's like one that isn't
Speaker 1: made a silicone would be a big ticket.
Speaker 2: Are quite happily have other people's reject dick.
Speaker 3: I think I don't know that bothered.
Speaker 1: Well, at my age, everybody's rejected. You can't get any
Speaker 1: fresh dick. No, yeah, because you're also talking about pubic
Speaker 1: hair tool. Yes, and again one of thin counter penis
Speaker 1: tends to be more trimmed and very neat. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: boyfriend penis, No, not as much, as long as it's
Speaker 1: well kept, it doesn't have to be very shortly.
Speaker 3: No, I think it should be the other way around. Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, I think you've got to make an effort personally.
Speaker 2: I like an asymmetric bob down there with a slidely fringe,
Speaker 2: a couple of highlights.
Speaker 3: Well, at least that's what I call my grays. No,
Speaker 3: I think you've got to you've got to keep trim.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know you let yourself go a little
Speaker 2: bit when you are in a relationship, but I think
Speaker 2: it's important to keep on top of it all over
Speaker 2: body hair maintenance. I actually I got in trouble my friend.
Speaker 3: She had hair. I won't name her because she won't
Speaker 3: be a bit.
Speaker 2: She had airy toes and she was going on holiday
Speaker 2: with her boyfriend. And I was like, you absolutely cannot
Speaker 2: go anywhere with hairy toes. Let me pluck them for you.
Speaker 2: Pluck your toes. Girls, pluck your toes. Pluck No, don't
Speaker 2: shave your toes. This is a mistake. She went home
Speaker 2: shaved us her it's got stubble rash on her feet.
Speaker 2: And then she was in I'm gonna lie say where
Speaker 2: she was. She was on holiday somewhere right and it
Speaker 2: was hot and she had a hairy, stubby toes out with.
Speaker 3: All shaving rash. Pluck them, pluck them, pluck them. She
Speaker 3: blamed me. I said, I didn't tell you to shave toes,
Speaker 3: and I said, go in and pluck them. I said,
Speaker 3: I'd do it for you.
Speaker 2: But she refused, and now she's having electrolysists on her
Speaker 2: feet and a bummer.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: That's all for the pots this week. Thank you, Mike
Speaker 2: reference something bumholes, haven't beat it. You can use feet
Speaker 2: down there, just don't leave it on for too long.
Speaker 2: Stick around as coming up, we have a game to
Speaker 2: play in our Game of the Week, and the game
Speaker 2: is have you waxed your bumhole?
Speaker 3: Welcome back, Gilgeous.
Speaker 2: You're watching Chewing the Cards and we're going to play
Speaker 2: it a little game of the Gotta Be Game Show
Speaker 2: Fluid edition, and this one is what our favorite Fluid user.
Speaker 3: I'm glad I didn't write that joke.
Speaker 1: It's off because it's true of the week.
Speaker 2: So in this game, I'm going to attempt to guess
Speaker 2: the song that Mike is portraying. The challenge is he's
Speaker 2: going to be doing it whilst gargling presumably hopefully water.
Speaker 1: It's mostly gin. I might swallow a couple of times
Speaker 1: by accident before right. First drink, first drink, first song?
Speaker 3: Right have you started?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: I think no, it was very good. That was very good.
Speaker 3: I am you do a little bit of it again.
Speaker 1: I'll do some chorously bits, yea was that averse? Okay,
Speaker 1: I swallowed them. It's so sad she's gone.
Speaker 3: I've gone. There's nothing here anymore. I'm so sorry because.
Speaker 2: Obviously you're trying very hard, and I really appreciate the effort,
Speaker 2: but it's a no from me.
Speaker 3: Hant it was Bale boot Camp.
Speaker 2: I got nothing from that rendition. If I'm honest, it
Speaker 2: was motion. I got no rhythm. I maybe the people
Speaker 2: at home are watching this frustrated that I'm getting absolutely nothing.
Speaker 2: But I'll be honest with you, that just sounded like
Speaker 2: someone trying to swallow a paracetamor.
Speaker 3: Could I have a clue someone who's dead. It's Whitney Houston.
Speaker 3: I'm every woman. No, is it Whitney Houston?
Speaker 1: Be of high hair.
Speaker 3: Amy wine House. Yes, Valerie isn't really Valerie.
Speaker 1: Valerie Valerie. That's what I was doing.
Speaker 2: That was all of context clues. Okay, let's take it. No,
Speaker 2: I think I get the game now. Before what was
Speaker 2: happening was I was, okay, let's try another one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really joked and died. H traum what bro
Speaker 1: bro b.
Speaker 3: That was a lot better.
Speaker 2: That has real energy inverve, Like I really died. That
Speaker 2: was an upbeat number.
Speaker 3: It was so good. Honestly, you really gave that, you're all.
Speaker 3: I felt the emotion and the energy. I have absolutely enough.
Speaker 3: I didn't want it. I couldn't tell you, honestly, I
Speaker 3: could probably do it.
Speaker 1: Hang on, what was that?
Speaker 3: Why don't you guess that one?
Speaker 1: That was? You know how?
Speaker 2: Like they used to say, I use postman or the
Speaker 2: post box. I think I might be the performer, not
Speaker 2: the guess.
Speaker 3: Okay, have to give me a clue.
Speaker 1: Let me get off clues of a clue.
Speaker 3: This is a.
Speaker 1: A social networking service that makes you angry because people
Speaker 1: are shouting at you.
Speaker 3: Oh TikTok yeah ticket.
Speaker 2: So that was a wonderful clue. I can hear it now,
Speaker 2: Yeah say it, you can get it? Okay, No, really
Speaker 2: very good? Is that honestly sounded like a song? That
Speaker 2: did sound like a song. And that again, I got upbeat,
Speaker 2: I got jazziness, I got excited.
Speaker 3: I genuinely felt like you were performing that. What is it?
Speaker 3: That's a very good question. I would have to go
Speaker 3: with Backstreet Boys. I want it that way.
Speaker 1: I just had to think of it.
Speaker 3: No idea how anyone gets anything out of it? I can't.
Speaker 2: I can hear you are singing, and I could probably
Speaker 2: replicate a bit of it. I don't think I could
Speaker 2: do this if my life.
Speaker 3: Depended on it.
Speaker 2: In fact, I'm sat here wishing my life would end.
Speaker 2: I you know how they used to have like spontaneous
Speaker 2: human combustion. I never believed in it until now, and
Speaker 2: I actually think it could happen because I'm so unable
Speaker 2: to think of anything that you're singing. I'm spontaneously canbust
Speaker 2: out of awkwardness. Okay, so this person married Russell Brand
Speaker 2: Katie Perry. I'm a firework, no raw, no black but
Speaker 2: not black horse. She had all, since she had all,
Speaker 2: I kissed a girl, and I like that's the one.
Speaker 3: Yes, Why is this telling you how many gay berry
Speaker 3: songs gonna? I really earned my gay badge here?
Speaker 2: I think people won't worries or maybe he's faking it,
Speaker 2: but I imagine Perry songs.
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, he's one of those guys.
Speaker 1: Okay, you'll be able to get this one.
Speaker 3: Don't threaten me.
Speaker 1: Wrong. No, he died. Do you get it before I died?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: Well, do you know what it is?
Speaker 2: I think I'm distracted by the lyrics. Okay, and I
Speaker 2: know that that's the rhythm, but I'm just hearing it
Speaker 2: as words.
Speaker 3: And that was very good. Again, there was pause in there,
Speaker 3: there was effort. I'm so bad if I tried.
Speaker 1: There, God does that help?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: No, really died then.
Speaker 3: And elon message now I did you send him? I'm
Speaker 3: so being a dumble on right now.
Speaker 1: But I think done blonde. She's no longer doing music.
Speaker 2: Britney spears and you're dancing with knives. Hit me baby
Speaker 2: one more time.
Speaker 1: No, I think think airline, think toxic, Yes, toxic.
Speaker 3: I don't know that one. That one's just for basic straits. Okay,
Speaker 3: I'm too deep in the discography. I only know.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, this would be better.
Speaker 2: And I don't want to tell you how to run
Speaker 2: your show and how to do it, but this would
Speaker 2: be better if it was two people competing.
Speaker 3: Really it would because there was someone else there that
Speaker 3: would be able to bring up the energy and I
Speaker 3: could just.
Speaker 2: Chime in with any song and make it app like
Speaker 2: I knew I was going I'm going to get this
Speaker 2: next one straight off.
Speaker 5: I am actually going to get this next okay, brother, ruh, No,
Speaker 5: that was really good.
Speaker 3: That was really good. That was Kings of Leon Sex
Speaker 3: is on fire.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I don't know. I did hear it
Speaker 2: and it really did sound good. And then I got
Speaker 2: distracted thinking this is really good?
Speaker 3: Why are you so terrible at this? And then I
Speaker 3: started thinking, like what brain disease might I have?
Speaker 2: That means that I can't ignore the bub births to
Speaker 2: identify the music. And then I started getting so distressed
Speaker 2: and worried about myself. I couldn't concentrate on you in
Speaker 2: the game. And now I'm sat here thinking maybe I've
Speaker 2: got a brain disorder. It was, that's not what I
Speaker 2: came on this, and he came here to try and
Speaker 2: sell my bloody book. And now I'm leaving thinking I'm
Speaker 2: probably not going to see the book come out of
Speaker 2: what brain disorder?
Speaker 3: And now I'm worried that the book might not be
Speaker 3: very good because I've got a brain disorder and I
Speaker 3: could have written a load of old gibberish and no
Speaker 3: one's told me till this point, and it's all gonna
Speaker 3: come out in print and I'm going to look bloody stupid.
Speaker 3: Oh look bloody stupid, or this now, I mean, don't
Speaker 3: go bloody orange.
Speaker 2: Listen to someone trying downwall and I don't even know
Speaker 2: what in Everyone at home probably screaming, it's.
Speaker 3: So bloody obvious, you THICKO. Can we let's go to commercial.
Speaker 2: I'm going to get a brain test, and then when
Speaker 2: we come back, we go to do science on my brain.
Speaker 3: Probably welcome back to chewing the cud. Now we've had
Speaker 3: some messy situations so.
Speaker 2: Far, but now it's time for us to get educated.
Speaker 2: As we go into the science lab with Mike.
Speaker 1: That's science. That is okay. So today we're going to
Speaker 1: be making hydrogen, which is an element and it's a
Speaker 1: gas and it's lighter than there, so we need something
Speaker 1: to catch it. This is highly explosive. What just a
Speaker 1: full warning?
Speaker 3: Are we genuinely doing this?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh gosh.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So you need basically two chemicals that you'll find
Speaker 1: lying around that not lying around the house, but in
Speaker 1: your home. And the first one is drain cleaner. Now
Speaker 1: my house.
Speaker 3: Clean rains.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, okay, so that's what's in the big plastic bottle.
Speaker 1: You've got drain cleaner already in the bottom there. That
Speaker 1: was a don't drink it, it will kill you. And
Speaker 1: then the other thing you need is aluminum foil or
Speaker 1: aluminum foil if you're not American sandwich wrap sandwich rep right,
Speaker 1: So what wants to do is we want to take
Speaker 1: the aluminium and put it into the drain cleaner words,
Speaker 1: but we want it to be small pieces because you
Speaker 1: what a large surface area, rights tear up the foil
Speaker 1: into small pieces. Okay, okay, so just small pieces.
Speaker 3: Well I've gone very small, minor like confetti size.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well will that?
Speaker 3: Will that make it better?
Speaker 1: That will make it quicker as a reaction, so.
Speaker 3: Turning me out, I'm just waiting for you to react.
Speaker 2: If I put this in, will it react by the
Speaker 2: pussy kettles featuring the cow chasing and jumping out of
Speaker 2: the botto?
Speaker 3: It will? It will anxiety?
Speaker 1: That's okay.
Speaker 3: What does one do with hydrogen? What's its purpose?
Speaker 1: Hydrogen? So you can use it to power cars? Hydrogen
Speaker 1: powered cars are safe? Yeah, it's light to the nere
Speaker 1: So it used to be using dirigibles in what dirigibles?
Speaker 1: So is a ship's okay? So of things like the
Speaker 1: Hindenburg that eventually blew up?
Speaker 2: Could you make a hydrogen you know, like you get
Speaker 2: helium balloons? Could you make a hydrogen balloon because helium
Speaker 2: is going to run out by twenty thirty, and I
Speaker 2: love helium balloons.
Speaker 1: You can make hydrogen balloons. We will be capturing our
Speaker 1: hydrogen in a balloon. Very handy, which is good, but
Speaker 1: again it is highly explosive, so it wouldn't be great
Speaker 1: to have as a toy.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that'd be great actually, because you know,
Speaker 2: sometimes you have people around at a party.
Speaker 3: And you think when will they leave?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 3: I don't know why I cursed out to swear there myself.
Speaker 3: I've swell all episode. Yeah, and you could just blow
Speaker 3: up a balloon and then they'd know.
Speaker 1: Why are you inviting people who don't want your party
Speaker 1: to your party?
Speaker 2: Because I don't know anyone that I like, and when
Speaker 2: I have a party, I just have to invite people
Speaker 2: I don't like, just so there's people.
Speaker 1: Oh right.
Speaker 3: I quite like hosting a party.
Speaker 2: I like doing all foods and things I've seen on Instagram,
Speaker 2: but I don't have any mates.
Speaker 1: So I do endo hosting a dinner party. That's what it's. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: for a semi casual hostage situation, I can't leave.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 2: I started off very very small, and I very very lazy. Okay,
Speaker 2: so I've added very small and then very big. Now,
Speaker 2: so there's a real range.
Speaker 1: There's a range. Well, that's good. A range is always good.
Speaker 1: Now what I want you to do is you have
Speaker 1: to do this quite quickly. Okay. So we're going to
Speaker 1: put the foil into the bottle and then the balloon
Speaker 1: over the neck of the bottle.
Speaker 3: Oh God, I don't know if that's going to happen.
Speaker 3: To be honest, what.
Speaker 2: Happens if I don't what happens if you don't get
Speaker 2: the balloon on insteade?
Speaker 1: Just put the cap on. I will just have to
Speaker 1: watch it to make sure that the bottle doesn't overinflate.
Speaker 3: Oh, I am actually genuinely a bit worried. Okay, Now
Speaker 3: I can do this. I'm definitely great.
Speaker 1: It's fine.
Speaker 2: I'm just not very good with anything like air related.
Speaker 2: I only actually I only did my tires for the
Speaker 2: first time the other week on my car, okay, and
Speaker 2: they were meant to be like thirty six.
Speaker 1: And they're on nine.
Speaker 3: Because I'm very I know this is very anti feminists
Speaker 3: and very sexiest of me, but I just get a
Speaker 3: man to do it.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: No, I hadn't done it since I broke up with
Speaker 2: my ex and more well because I used to drive
Speaker 2: to cast.
Speaker 1: On and get.
Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm quite nervous about this fault.
Speaker 2: Yeah this is and this blows up my face. That's
Speaker 2: his fault's anything.
Speaker 1: So what we'll do that is, I won't expect you
Speaker 1: to do the balloon. We'll just use mine as a
Speaker 1: Guide's what forgot to do. So just get the foil
Speaker 1: into the bottle, right, okay, and then put the lid on.
Speaker 1: Make sure the lids on tight.
Speaker 3: Well, what about the balloon.
Speaker 1: If you want to try and put the balloon over
Speaker 1: the neck of the bottle, that's fine too. All of
Speaker 1: the foil a good handful. Maybe not some of the
Speaker 1: bigger bits, because as you said, you got very lazy.
Speaker 3: I can make them smaller. Oh gosh, so.
Speaker 1: This is just propping the foil bit sin.
Speaker 3: Can I scow you some all up together? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Sure, I know we said increase the surface area, But
Speaker 2: what I've realized is I've just then screwed all mine up.
Speaker 3: Now there're one big lump.
Speaker 1: Okay, it might just take a little while longer for
Speaker 1: yours to react to.
Speaker 3: Well, that's for you a good thing. It gives me
Speaker 3: time to get the balloon on. Okay, what's that Royally?
Speaker 3: I have absolutely royally, so it's fine. Just pop it on.
Speaker 1: It'll it'll be okay, Okay, what's it? What's it's all in?
Speaker 1: And hmm see I started to get around because I
Speaker 1: already started to create little bubbles.
Speaker 3: Put it in. Get a baby, get a baby, chicken, baby,
Speaker 3: get do the baby to the baby, put it in.
Speaker 1: I'm just fucking.
Speaker 3: Oh, I might have blocked my passageway. Oh it again.
Speaker 3: You know I've got a science degree.
Speaker 2: Everyone assumes media studies are acting, but which I graduate
Speaker 2: of psychology from Coventry University.
Speaker 3: Well it wasn't really a university when I went, but
Speaker 3: it is now right.
Speaker 2: And then I'm getting this balloon on because it's going
Speaker 2: so slow, we could be it till next week.
Speaker 3: This is how you put it on.
Speaker 1: You practice with a banana, then a cucumber.
Speaker 2: It's a bit ambitious. The banana's more boyfriend. Okay, actually,
Speaker 2: do you know what I've done it?
Speaker 3: I've got it. I don't think it's going.
Speaker 1: To react, though, I think it is reacting because if
Speaker 1: you look at it, look below, you should see some
Speaker 1: bubbles before me.
Speaker 3: Can I give it a shame, a bit of a shake. See.
Speaker 3: So what's actually happening is.
Speaker 1: What's happening now is that the the hydrogen peroxide that's
Speaker 1: in the drain cleaner is reacting with the aluminium and
Speaker 1: it's releasing the peroxide side of the hydrogen. So the
Speaker 1: hydroen has been released from the liquid and causing a
Speaker 1: gas in here.
Speaker 2: And is that what happens to my dad on a
Speaker 2: Sunday after he's eating his dinner and he's just creating gas.
Speaker 3: My balloon's going she slowly rise.
Speaker 1: That's that's mostly carbon dioxide and sulfur.
Speaker 2: What I would say is this is a bit like
Speaker 2: I'm watching it slowly rise up. Is like you know
Speaker 2: back in the day, when you have like a guy
Speaker 2: that you fancied and you invited him around to yours
Speaker 2: and he was like, let's watch a movie, and you'd
Speaker 2: be like, okay, let's watch Cruel Intentions because that was
Speaker 2: the movie that you could watch that was one of
Speaker 2: my favorites.
Speaker 3: Them up.
Speaker 2: Wasn't it to get them a bit rolled and excited?
Speaker 2: Not a little bit of gentle sexuality in it?
Speaker 3: Didn't it?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 3: I don't know why, but mine is going faster than yours.
Speaker 3: That's okay.
Speaker 1: I had a lot more giving my bottle. But if
Speaker 1: you feel the bottom movie bottle, it should be getting hot.
Speaker 2: Well I was holding in the wrong place. I was
Speaker 2: going to say it was so I psychologically went in
Speaker 2: and thought it was there.
Speaker 1: So it's an end or thermic reaction, so it causes
Speaker 1: heat as it goes. Okay, now this is going to
Speaker 1: take a few months do so while this does make
Speaker 1: a cup of tea, you could make a cup of
Speaker 1: tea right or I could pop over there after I've
Speaker 1: said that science size that science that is.
Speaker 3: So you mentioned a book, Well, I don't like to
Speaker 3: mention it, but I write a book.
Speaker 2: A new book is out called Hogo History, and it's
Speaker 2: a collection of essays about like the social queer experience.
Speaker 2: So it takes like all those sort of issues that
Speaker 2: we talk about that don't really understand that much, like
Speaker 2: gay blood donation, like trans writes, and it breaks them
Speaker 2: down and makes them easy and understandable.
Speaker 3: I mean, as I've demonstrated in this show.
Speaker 2: Going capable, So I made it so it was understandable
Speaker 2: like that. It's like a bimbo guide to these issues,
Speaker 2: so that it's accessible. I think because it can be
Speaker 2: so hard to understand all these topics. I think sometimes
Speaker 2: we don't necessarily talk about them. And who knows who
Speaker 2: threw the first brick at Stone World, You know what
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 3: He's in the book.
Speaker 2: I was about to guess that I won't give it away,
Speaker 2: Sonya Jackson, Jerry halliwell thinks she threw the first brick
Speaker 2: at Stone Walls. She'll tell anyone who listens that she
Speaker 2: actually got women the vote.
Speaker 1: But there we get here. So that's almost the end
Speaker 1: of the show for this week. Remembers on at the TV,
Speaker 1: on all the usual places in social media.
Speaker 3: Thank you for watching, and we will see you soon.
Speaker 1: Bye bye.
Speaker 3: I'm genuinely worried.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I filled her out.