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<v Speaker 1>This is pod Popular Podcast for the People, The Great

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<v Speaker 1>Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate, the.

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<v Speaker 2>Great Love Debate. It's a great love to hi again,

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone's Brian Howie. Welcome to the Great Love Debate, the

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<v Speaker 2>world's number one dating a relationship podcast since twenty fifteen.

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<v Speaker 2>I am here in the very fine and fancy studios

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<v Speaker 2>of Pod Popular Podcast for the People. I am at

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<v Speaker 2>the one in uh Cleve. I mean it's just outside

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<v Speaker 2>of Cleveland. It's about ten miles from downtown Cleveland Lynnhurst, Ohio,

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<v Speaker 2>and it is one of the newest ones.

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<v Speaker 3>It is in a lovely complex called Legacy Village.

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<v Speaker 2>And I gotta say, you know, you guys who listen

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<v Speaker 2>to the show, you know, I'm always a fan of Cleveland.

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<v Speaker 2>But when it is nice, which is not a lot,

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<v Speaker 2>it's very nice. I say that about Chicago a lot

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<v Speaker 2>that if it was seventy degrees everywhere for one day

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<v Speaker 2>on that day, Chicago wins. It's not seven degrees nearly

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<v Speaker 2>enough in Chicago or Cleveland.

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<v Speaker 3>So neither one of them win a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>But when they do, they do a little bit of

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<v Speaker 2>a news dump here, and it's a little bit of

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<v Speaker 2>a different show. I'm gonna explain some things and whatever. So,

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<v Speaker 2>as you guys know, this podcast came out of the

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<v Speaker 2>Great Love Debate Tour, and that tour came out of

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<v Speaker 2>my book I wrote, called How to Find Love in

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<v Speaker 2>Sixty Seconds that I no longer stand behind ninety percent

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<v Speaker 2>of that book because I hadn't.

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<v Speaker 3>Done the tour yet.

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<v Speaker 2>So this the tour started January fourteenth, twenty fourteen, at

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<v Speaker 2>the Center Stage Theater in Santa Barbara.

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<v Speaker 3>It was supposed to be a promotional stunt, a one

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<v Speaker 3>night event.

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<v Speaker 2>To promote the book, and that was supposed to be it.

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<v Speaker 2>I did not even host it. I was on the stage.

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<v Speaker 2>My good friend and prolific best selling author Joe Piazza

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<v Speaker 2>did the honors of hosting. I was just one of

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<v Speaker 2>a handful of people on the stage. It was supposed

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<v Speaker 2>to be just a quick little promotional stunt, talk about love,

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<v Speaker 2>dating relationships, and that would be that. Well, thatned into

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<v Speaker 2>something else, and people heard about how it went in

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<v Speaker 2>Santa Barbara, and so two weeks later I got booked

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<v Speaker 2>at I think it was the Long Beach Performing Arts

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<v Speaker 2>Center in Long Beach, California. And then I did another one,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I thought, hey, maybe let's there's something here.

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<v Speaker 2>And I started barnstorming pretty much city to city. I

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<v Speaker 2>went to Boston, worked my way through the East Coast,

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<v Speaker 2>and one thing led to another end. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>eleven seasons of this later four hundred and fifty something

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<v Speaker 2>live shows, and I think one hundred and sixty four cities,

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<v Speaker 2>a dozen countries, we have done the Great Love Debate

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<v Speaker 2>live show all over the world, thousands of people, thousands

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<v Speaker 2>of laughs, perspectives that the famous and the not so.

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<v Speaker 3>Famous coming together to share.

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<v Speaker 2>Or look for something special, something great. And I always

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<v Speaker 2>said my role in that show was to raise the

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<v Speaker 2>questions and not necessarily give the answers, And even on

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast, my job has always been to raise the questions.

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<v Speaker 2>I just think for that live show and how long

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<v Speaker 2>I've been doing it, and the and the toll that

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<v Speaker 2>the travel takes, and I already travel a lot for

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<v Speaker 2>my regular life, I think it's time. I think that

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<v Speaker 2>I need to step off the stage so the and

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<v Speaker 2>I know people who listen to this podcast a lot

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<v Speaker 2>are probably going to say that I have had more

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<v Speaker 2>more finales than than Elton John.

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<v Speaker 3>But I think this really is it.

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<v Speaker 2>So I'm not sure how many shows I'm gonna do

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<v Speaker 2>between between the time I'm recording this and the time

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<v Speaker 2>of the last show, which I'm telling you right now,

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<v Speaker 2>They're probably gonna be a couple more in there, because

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<v Speaker 2>I owe some shows to some cities. But the last one,

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<v Speaker 2>the tour finale, will be November sixth at the Boca

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<v Speaker 2>black Box Center for the Arts in Boca Raton, Florida.

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<v Speaker 2>So you might be like, that's weird. Why are you

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<v Speaker 2>Why did you start in Santa Barbara and why'd.

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<v Speaker 3>You end in Florida? Well?

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<v Speaker 2>I like the sunshine, but why am I choosing to

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<v Speaker 2>end it there. I've done more shows than anywhere in

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<v Speaker 2>New York City. I have done residencies in Minneapolis, Chicago, La.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>There's a lot of places where I have done bigger shows,

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<v Speaker 2>more shows, you know, And this is I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I think it's about three hundred and fifty seats. It's

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<v Speaker 2>not our biggest venue. I'm not even sure it's my

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<v Speaker 2>favorite venue. And I'm not even sure the best shows

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<v Speaker 2>are in Florida because they are particularly nutty group there,

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<v Speaker 2>and sometimes the conversation that happens at these shows get

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<v Speaker 2>a little bit out of control. But why am I

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<v Speaker 2>picking to choose it there. The first time I played

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<v Speaker 2>that theater, it was October twenty nineteen, and on my

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<v Speaker 2>way to Lax out of Los Angeles to fly to

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<v Speaker 2>that show, I had to do a news thing in

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<v Speaker 2>the morning. I was on the back of a lift

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<v Speaker 2>on my way, about two miles from the airport, and

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<v Speaker 2>we got hit from behind. And it was just a terrible,

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<v Speaker 2>terrible car accident. And if you go back to this

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<v Speaker 2>podcast and listen to somewhere mid October, I did.

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<v Speaker 3>A podcast about it maybe a week later.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a really really rough time and rough set

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<v Speaker 2>of injuries, but I didn't know how badly I was hurt,

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<v Speaker 2>you know. I went in an ambulance, went to the

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<v Speaker 2>emergency room. They're like, oh, maybe you.

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<v Speaker 3>Broke a rib, blah blah blah.

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<v Speaker 2>And I couldn't process the pain properly, and so I

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<v Speaker 2>got back on an airplane the next day and I

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<v Speaker 2>did a show forty eight hours later at that theater.

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<v Speaker 2>I got on the stage after this awful car in

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<v Speaker 2>unfathomable amounts of pain, and I had twenty one broken bones,

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<v Speaker 2>as it turns out, thirteen broken ribs, broken leg, broken vertebrae,

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<v Speaker 2>broken scapula internal injuries. But I was stupid and I

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<v Speaker 2>was stubborn, and I didn't know how badly I was hurt.

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<v Speaker 2>But I got through it. And I've probably played that venue,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, four or five times since. Maybe once

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<v Speaker 2>a year I go back there, And until recently, I

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<v Speaker 2>always had sort of a bit of PTSD every time

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<v Speaker 2>I went back there, because I would remember that night

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<v Speaker 2>and I remember the pain, and I thought I was

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<v Speaker 2>just gonna die on a stage. But I never want

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<v Speaker 2>to cancel a show, despite all those shows that canceled

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<v Speaker 2>on me during the COVID days. But and I did it,

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<v Speaker 2>and I survived it, and I just think surviving that

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<v Speaker 2>situation and that night gave me a warm sense of

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<v Speaker 2>pride and fondness and gratitude for that theater and for

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<v Speaker 2>that community and for that experience, and for doing the

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<v Speaker 2>Great Love Debate in general.

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<v Speaker 3>Like I.

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<v Speaker 2>Just realized how much I enjoyed doing that show, that

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<v Speaker 2>I was willing to do it no matter what. And

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<v Speaker 2>you know, that was five something years ago, and probably

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<v Speaker 2>haven't done as many shows since.

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<v Speaker 3>I know, I definitely haven't done as many shows since, because,

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<v Speaker 3>as I just.

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<v Speaker 2>Said, the world shut down for a while kind of

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<v Speaker 2>killed the momentum, But I'm like, you know, that was

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<v Speaker 2>the hardest. People tell me all the time what was

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<v Speaker 2>the hardest show to do? And they always ask me

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<v Speaker 2>in terms of crowd, or in terms of feistiness, or

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<v Speaker 2>in terms of location or whatever. That was the hardest

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<v Speaker 2>show and that. But like I said, I don't look

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<v Speaker 2>back on that badly. I look at back on that

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<v Speaker 2>like we did this, and we meaning me, the crowd,

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<v Speaker 2>the people on the stage. I mentioned it at the

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<v Speaker 2>beginning that I was kind of playing hurt and not

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<v Speaker 2>medicated though I probably should have been, and the crowd

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<v Speaker 2>got me through it, and the energy of what we

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<v Speaker 2>do all of the time at the Great Love Debate

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<v Speaker 2>got me through it. And I just feel really good,

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<v Speaker 2>as you know I have I you know, sometimes record

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<v Speaker 2>this podcast that pod popular in Boca Riton, Florida. That

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<v Speaker 2>was my first time in that city, and so there's

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of things about that that I'm like, you know, what,

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<v Speaker 2>if I'm gonna wrap that up, They've always been good

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<v Speaker 2>to me. Wrap this tour up. That's where I want

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<v Speaker 2>to do it. So that's where I'm going to do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna talk a little bit more about a few

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<v Speaker 2>more things. I would just want to open up with

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<v Speaker 2>that I take a quick break because we still have

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<v Speaker 2>to pay for things like airplane tickets to Pokerito in

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<v Speaker 2>Florida to do shows, and we will be back right

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<v Speaker 2>after this, and we are back, so you know, as

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<v Speaker 2>I said, you know, my job was to raise the

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<v Speaker 2>questions and not give the answers for the live show.

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<v Speaker 2>I think I have too many of the answers, not

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<v Speaker 2>nearly all of the answers, like I will never have that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I think enough of it that when I go

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<v Speaker 2>into a city, if it's not a new city, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't quite have as much curiosity on it as I

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<v Speaker 2>used to. I sort of know where all the bodies

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<v Speaker 2>are buried. Like if I do a show in Philadelphia,

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<v Speaker 2>I know where a lot of the dating bodies are

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<v Speaker 2>buried there, and not that that doesn't make it any

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<v Speaker 2>more fun and the audience obviously doesn't know. But a

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<v Speaker 2>little bit of my mojo to work through is restricted

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<v Speaker 2>by the format of the evening. You kind of have

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<v Speaker 2>to Every show is different, every crowd's different, every night's different,

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<v Speaker 2>but there's certain beats in a theater show, comedy show,

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<v Speaker 2>whatever you want to say that you have to beat

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<v Speaker 2>so you have to get through so that you see

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<v Speaker 2>that the show starts here and the show ends here,

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<v Speaker 2>and you have to end in sort of a hopeful

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<v Speaker 2>place despite ninety minutes of bitching and winding and dating disasters.

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<v Speaker 3>We have to get through it.

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<v Speaker 2>And like I said, I don't want to ever make

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<v Speaker 2>it seem like everything is different, but a lot of

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<v Speaker 2>the things that are raised hit a certain format. There

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<v Speaker 2>is something to the show, and not that I'm ever

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<v Speaker 2>restricted by that, because within that context it can go

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<v Speaker 2>in any sort of direction. But I don't quite have

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<v Speaker 2>the freedom. So people are like, well, how can you

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<v Speaker 2>quit the live show? But you're still going to do

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<v Speaker 2>the podcast. The podcast allows anything to happen. And we

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<v Speaker 2>have done slightly more podcast episodes than we have done

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<v Speaker 2>live shows, which tells you how many live shows I

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<v Speaker 2>did back in the day.

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<v Speaker 3>I was always on the road. But the podcast can

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<v Speaker 3>talk about anything. I can talk about this.

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<v Speaker 2>I am not so restricted. I can talk to one

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<v Speaker 2>person about one experience. I can do that, and you're

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<v Speaker 2>not inhibited by people who paid, you know, fifty five

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<v Speaker 2>bucks and two drinks to come see it live.

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<v Speaker 3>So that is the difference.

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<v Speaker 2>That that I feel uninhibited and I feel that there's

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<v Speaker 2>no restrictions on this podcast, which is why this podcast

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<v Speaker 2>is going to go as long as I forever. I mean,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm never gonna gonna wanna stop talking about this stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>People say that to me a lot, like do you

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<v Speaker 2>ever run out of things to talk about on the podcast? No,

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<v Speaker 2>I would be talking about this anyway. There's so many

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<v Speaker 2>ways to skin this apple, and so many layers to

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<v Speaker 2>this and so many things to revisit. And the world

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<v Speaker 2>changes all the time, and I change all the time,

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<v Speaker 2>and and and and.

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<v Speaker 3>That's another part of it. You know.

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<v Speaker 2>Somebody said to me when I when I mentioned that

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<v Speaker 2>everything I just brought about, like why I booked it

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<v Speaker 2>in Bukton. I talked to it to the guy who

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<v Speaker 2>runs the theater there. He's a really good guy, and

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<v Speaker 2>I explained that to him and he goes, you're kind

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<v Speaker 2>of emotional about this, and I'm like, I didn't have emotion, Sadly,

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<v Speaker 2>before I started doing the Great Love Debate, I really didn't.

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<v Speaker 2>I really lived in a emotionally walled off space and

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<v Speaker 2>I was never too high and I was never too low.

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<v Speaker 2>And even when we started the Great Love debate. It

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<v Speaker 2>was a lot more Jerry springerish, It was a lot

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<v Speaker 2>more men against the women.

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<v Speaker 1>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>I produced a play once called Boys Dumb, Girls Crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>It had a lot of elements of that in it,

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<v Speaker 2>And early on, I think a lot of people left

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<v Speaker 2>those shows, not that they weren't fun and funny, but

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<v Speaker 2>feeling a little bit more validated in their misery. And

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't want that. And somewhere along the line, I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't make a con just changed to change it. I

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<v Speaker 2>think I changed. I started to hear people sharing and

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<v Speaker 2>revealing and talking about things, especially the men that I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, I'm the weirdo here. I'm the one who

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<v Speaker 2>has not having proper relationships. I'm the one who who

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<v Speaker 2>I was like a dating zzy girls like me, what's

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<v Speaker 2>the problem here? I was the one who is not

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<v Speaker 2>putting all my chips on the table and all of

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<v Speaker 2>these you know experience I've had in relationships, and my

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<v Speaker 2>various girlfriends would say like, you just don't understand what

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<v Speaker 2>I'm talking about, do you? And I would answer and

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<v Speaker 2>I don't, I don't know what you're talking about. Well,

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<v Speaker 2>doing the Great Love Debate made me understand.

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<v Speaker 3>It made me open.

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<v Speaker 2>Up and all of these people in all of these

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<v Speaker 2>theaters and comedy clubs and live music venues all over

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<v Speaker 2>the world, and we have done this show in Sydney

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<v Speaker 2>and Tel Aviv and Mantra all and all kinds of locations.

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<v Speaker 2>Made me have to go deeper and drove me into

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<v Speaker 2>therapy and made me have to think what am I missing?

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<v Speaker 3>What am I not sharing? How am I not growing?

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<v Speaker 3>What have I missed in my life? That was somehow unfulfilling.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's what doing these shows did.

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<v Speaker 2>Just hearing people mestick a microphone in their face and

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<v Speaker 2>say stand the fuck up. And I would say that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, get the fuck up, Like, have you've been

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<v Speaker 2>to one of our shows? I'm kind of a dick.

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<v Speaker 2>But that's what you have to do to wrangle hundreds

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<v Speaker 2>of people to reveal good, bad, funny, strange, painful in

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<v Speaker 2>front of you know, they're dating peers.

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<v Speaker 3>For lack of a better term.

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<v Speaker 2>And that's not always easy for some people. Like we

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<v Speaker 2>do shows in you know, a place like San Jose, California,

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<v Speaker 2>or Silicon Valley or Portland or Seattle of course, where

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<v Speaker 2>there's a lot of at best social, awkward and introverted

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<v Speaker 2>to people who are not likely to share one on one,

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<v Speaker 2>much less in front of people in the room. And

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<v Speaker 2>I am pretty ballsy and a little bit alpha on

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<v Speaker 2>that I get the fuck up and share. And if

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<v Speaker 2>they were willing to do that, and if I was

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<v Speaker 2>willing to putting people in a position to say, you've

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<v Speaker 2>got to talk about this in front of people.

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<v Speaker 3>Then I had to be willing to do that too.

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<v Speaker 2>And I couldn't just do that, you know, one on

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<v Speaker 2>one or in the privacy of a therapist office. I

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<v Speaker 2>had to reveal, you know, a lot of my own

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<v Speaker 2>stuff I had, you know, you've heard me talk about

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<v Speaker 2>in the past.

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<v Speaker 1>Uh.

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I never trusted my parents' love for each other,

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<v Speaker 2>which means I didn't trust their love for me, which

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<v Speaker 2>it means I didn't trust the concept of it.

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<v Speaker 3>So the fact that I'm doing the great love debate,

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<v Speaker 3>a lot of that is rooted in all of this.

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<v Speaker 2>I got interviewed for for Nightline on ABC a couple

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<v Speaker 2>of years ago, and uh, after the interview was over,

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<v Speaker 2>the reporter, I forget her name, was it, Deborah Roberts.

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<v Speaker 3>Maybe she goes, can I ask you something?

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<v Speaker 2>And I said, yeah, and she goes, you talk about

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<v Speaker 2>this as you know, you call the Great Love Debate

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<v Speaker 2>the world's greatest social experiment on love, and it's in

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<v Speaker 2>your press materials and all that, and I go, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>yeah it is, and she goes, is this whole thing

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<v Speaker 2>about you? And at first I thought that the answer

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<v Speaker 2>to that felt too way, too self centered and if

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<v Speaker 2>that was the case, but I had to think about it,

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, I think this is about me, and

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<v Speaker 2>I think raising the questions of everybody else really is

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<v Speaker 2>about raising the questions of myself.

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<v Speaker 3>And so when I say that that I know the answer.

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<v Speaker 2>Is to a lot of the questions, well, I have

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<v Speaker 2>had to do that work and I have had to answer.

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<v Speaker 2>So if anybody asked me a question, you know, nine

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<v Speaker 2>years ago or the beginning of this tour, I would

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<v Speaker 2>have given him the answer most likely to elicit a laugh.

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<v Speaker 2>I would have given them a snarky answer. People that

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<v Speaker 2>would ask me then they would stand up in the

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<v Speaker 2>show and they're like, how come you're not married yet?

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<v Speaker 2>And I would say, the day's not over. That's a

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<v Speaker 2>fun answer, but it's not the real answer. It's because

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't willing to or able to or ready to

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<v Speaker 2>or put it in a situation where I'm like, ah,

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<v Speaker 2>this is what all of those people were talking about,

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<v Speaker 2>this is what they mean, this is what this show means.

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<v Speaker 2>And so doing this over and over and over in

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<v Speaker 2>different cities and you know, different crowds, different types of places,

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<v Speaker 2>and but the through line in it was everybody had

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<v Speaker 2>some fear, everybody had some pain. Everybody wasn't willing to

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<v Speaker 2>go into that mental, physical, emotionally scary place outside of

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<v Speaker 2>their comfort zone to seek the answers. And so this

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<v Speaker 2>was me doing this. I spent you know, twenty something

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<v Speaker 2>years in show business, writer, director, producer before I ever

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<v Speaker 2>became the talent. And the Great Love Debate suddenly I

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<v Speaker 2>had to be the talent. And you know, people ask

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<v Speaker 2>me all the time like, oh, you've done stand up comedy.

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<v Speaker 2>No I have not performed, No I have not. I

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<v Speaker 2>hid behind other people's talents and put my voice through

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<v Speaker 2>words and screenplays and plays and TV shows. And I

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<v Speaker 2>was never comfortable being out front, Like even said even

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<v Speaker 2>the first Great Love Debate, it was never that.

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<v Speaker 3>And then.

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<v Speaker 2>The longtime producer of this show and maybe the smartest

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<v Speaker 2>person and most in tune with who I am and

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<v Speaker 2>what I'm doing. The two time Emmy Award winning Keko.

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<v Speaker 2>She said, she forced me. She'sai' this is you. It's

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<v Speaker 2>a great love to baby with Brian Howie, Like this

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<v Speaker 2>is it. You've got to put your name to this,

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<v Speaker 2>You've got to own this. You've got to understand that

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<v Speaker 2>if you're asking this of other people, you have got

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<v Speaker 2>to be the conduit. And so a lot of times

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<v Speaker 2>being the conduit, you know, that puts me in a

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<v Speaker 2>position where I have to really think, and I have

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<v Speaker 2>to really feel, and I have really and all these

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<v Speaker 2>things that I never done. And you have a really

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<v Speaker 2>nice life coasting around and especially in show business, without

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<v Speaker 2>putting yourself in a position to get hurt, without putting

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<v Speaker 2>yourself in a position to put.

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<v Speaker 3>All your chips on the table.

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<v Speaker 2>And doing the Great Love Debate has made me put

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<v Speaker 2>my chips on the table. And because in order to

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<v Speaker 2>be authentic for the audience and not just make them laugh,

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<v Speaker 2>it's one thing to make people laugh, it's a whole

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<v Speaker 2>other thing to make people think. It is hard to

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<v Speaker 2>make people think, and it's another thing to make people feel.

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<v Speaker 2>I to do all these things myself, and so that's

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<v Speaker 2>what the Great Love Debate has done for me. So

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<v Speaker 2>That's why I feel like, am I going to misdoing

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<v Speaker 2>this show? Every time I've said this before, like I

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<v Speaker 2>don't want to do this show anymore, travel and then

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<v Speaker 2>I do it and I'm like, oh my god, that

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<v Speaker 2>was the greatest night. I can't believe that I would

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<v Speaker 2>even consider not doing it anymore. I considered this. This

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<v Speaker 2>is some thought going into this, or some timing going

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<v Speaker 2>into this.

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<v Speaker 3>It's just time. You know. I wanted to be like, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>last year.

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<v Speaker 2>Ten years, nice bookend whatever, and then you know, creeped

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<v Speaker 2>into an eleventh because they call and they offer and

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<v Speaker 2>stuff to turn down, money and opportunity. But I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to be honest about it, like this will be our

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<v Speaker 2>last show. Barring changing my mind. The Rolling Stones are

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<v Speaker 2>still going around. But so there might be some iterations

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<v Speaker 2>of this. There might be some special live podcasts which

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<v Speaker 2>I will do. So I don't know if I'm completely

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<v Speaker 2>putting down the microphone in front of crowd altogether, but

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<v Speaker 2>this version of our traditional great love Debate show, it's

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<v Speaker 2>time to put an exclamation point on the sentence. So

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<v Speaker 2>I want to share that all of you guys are

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<v Speaker 2>a larger Every single one of these episodes probably gets

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<v Speaker 2>a larger audience than dozens of those shows combined. But

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<v Speaker 2>I want to share it, so it's breaking news. I've

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<v Speaker 2>kind of hinted at it before. You guys know, at

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<v Speaker 2>the end of these shows, I say, oh, my live

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<v Speaker 2>tour schedule, check it out, and I'm not quite as

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<v Speaker 2>enthusiastic about it where I used to rattle off the

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<v Speaker 2>next fifteen shows in the various accents of the city

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<v Speaker 2>that I was traveling to, like Boston.

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<v Speaker 3>But that's it. So this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Will continue, obviously over and over and over. Tickets around

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<v Speaker 2>sale for that show and possibly some others in between.

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<v Speaker 3>Great Loovedebate dot.

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<v Speaker 2>Com, shoot me an email, Great Love Debate at gmail

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<v Speaker 2>dot calm. If you make me an offer, I can't

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<v Speaker 2>refuse to say no, you got to do one more

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<v Speaker 2>show in Dallas.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll think about it. Please like, share, follow, and review

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<v Speaker 3>this podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Your reviews, even when I get off the stage, will

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<v Speaker 2>always mean a lot in the podcasting ecosystem, because, as

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<v Speaker 2>always at The Great Love Debate, we.

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<v Speaker 3>Never stopped making love. See you next time.

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<v Speaker 1>The Great Love Debate. It's the Great Love Debate.

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<v Speaker 2>The Great Love Debate.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a Great Love Debate.