Speaker 1: Made decision. Oh, thanks Sunny Sun, I had a vision.
Speaker 2: What it's nice.
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome to for crying out loud, for crying
out loud, crying out loud, Happy Friday, everybody. What are
you doing? I'm doing just well. Thanks? How are you
doing stuff? You have some good stories?
Speaker 3: Oh you got some stories? I got some I had
a mystery to tell you guys about.
Speaker 1: Oh I can't wait till not solved though, So you
might not like it because there's no I haven't solved
it case. Well maybe you can solve it. Has the
case gone cold? Yeah, it's gone cold? Steaks just kidding.
So what's the tell me the mystery? So okay, the mystery?
All right, So muffin walking muffin walker. Now my uh,
my daughter has a friend that likes to eat muffins
around moble muffins, mobile muffins drop cry everywhere. And also
she does the soccer thing with she walks in the
house after her soccer practice and her cleats are caked
with mud and she just walks in dries adam and
saying that, ah Linette, I literally have that all over
my kitchen floor. It's the worst. Yeah.
Speaker 3: So yeah, we already have Phil. We don't need the
walking muffin and cleats. So anyway, it has really sort
of this story has a little to do with but
I don't know because.
Speaker 1: It's a mystery.
Speaker 3: So over the weekend, I get in the car to
forget about the meeting that I was supposed to go
to and to come here to stuff Christmas boxes. And
it's Saturday morning. I get in, I put my purse
next to me and I'm driving and then I reach
in my purse to get chapstick or something, and I
feel a box of cigarettes Marborough lights, already open and
half smoke.
Speaker 1: I guess it's like eight laughter or something in my purse.
And You're like, who smoked my cigarettes? Who the fuck
somebody owes me for a cigarette? Now? I was like,
what what is this.
Speaker 3: Doing in my purse and my purse? People know that
kind of person I have. It's got that It's got
a pocket that just snaps shut on the outside, right,
which is why I like it, because you can grab
your chapstick while you're driving and stuff really quick. And
it's in that slot in that packet, And I'm going, okay,
who how my purse is in the was in the
living room. So then I'm thinking, Okay, I didn't go anywhere.
The night before Friday night, I stayed home because we're
moving and I have to pack and purge and do
all this shit. And so all Friday and into the night,
I was home, but the kids had friends over, so
Walking Muffin came over, and then there was another girl
with them, and then Sonny had a friend over, who
I can't understand because I like the kid and I
think he's a nice kid. Natalia had a rough go
with him, but now Natalia likes him, so I can't.
Speaker 1: Tell if this kid's a good kid. Back he's really nice,
but you could Mobile Muffin was over too. M hm.
Mobile Muffin was over. She's kind of trouble a little bit.
I feel bad for her. I know that's how people
think she did Thanksgiving. No, I probably not. I'll tell
you what she did for Thanksgiving. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah,
she went to her Well, okay, we had Julie. Oh
you know what happened the week before we had Julie. Yeah,
we fast forwarded to our Thanksgiving. That's we talked about
Thanksgiving as if we'd had Thanksgiving already. Yes, but we
were just projecting into the future what Thanksgiving would be like, right,
because we're good that way. Yeah, and you figured and
you found out which what Mobile Muffins was doing, yes,
which was her parents are divorced.
Speaker 3: Fine, whatever, and then her her mom has a boyfriend
old jealous but anyway, and so Olga says, what are
you doing for Thanksgiving? Moble Muffin, And she says, I'm
going to my sister's boyfriend's house.
Speaker 1: Oh how old your sister? Fifteen? That story kills kills you.
Oh now I's got a fucking a cardiac arrest, you know.
Oh guys, she ain't down.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: That's like the worst part of that story is like
the fifteen year old sister is the most stable one
in the family. She's got the boyfriend that everyone's like, oh,
we'll go there this year. You know what I'm saying.
That's so true, Like that's been really sad when they're like,
what's the fifteen what's our fifteen year old? Oh you
got a boyfriend, let's all go to his house. Oh
my god, I never thought that's terrible. I can't wait
to told you that she's gonna love that. Oh my god,
I know, I know, I feel bad. So how was
her Thanksgiving? We know she got She's like, well, I'll
tell you how my Thanksgiving was. I lost my fucking
cigarettes list missus stole my cigarettes? You got a light?
I can't smoke my cigarette in the dark. These cancer
sticks aren't gonna smoke themselves. So yeah, she gave me.
Do I have to blow to get a light around
here for a cigarette? Excuse me? It's the stablest one
as the sister, not even the boy. Oh god, all right, anyway,
I don't go to hell for this. But so, so
she was. So she's there, the boys there, and I'm
driving into the work going what the hell? So I
had to go see.
Speaker 3: Adam at the new house that we're moving into and
got I. When Adam is in the work mode of
bill holding and construction, it's like you want to be
as far away from him as possible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you can ask anybody in this building because
he's just like, what's that doing here? What's that? Get
that box out of here? What's going? How come? Why
those have been the biggest stressors on your marriage? Oh
my god, Well that's why. Knowing you as long as
I've known you, hearing every story. That has always been
the time that you're the most unhappy. Exactly, you guys
are all stressed out. He's always like, we're not doing
that anymore, mama, Exactly, you know what, We're not going
to move We're this is our house.
Speaker 3: He did it like a weird Yes, you're a thousand
percent right, but he did like this weird like boomerang
thing where he goes, you know, it's time now to
build the dream house.
Speaker 1: No, we could get a divorce and it's going to
take three years and millions and millions of dollars. Or
there's a house that just came to the market up
the street that we could just buy and move in.
Speaker 3: I was like, yes, done, done. He goes, Okay, they'll
no arguing we just move into that house.
Speaker 1: Okay. But also, though, can I ask a question, can
we hire movers this time?
Speaker 3: Or do I have to do everything with Robuh? But
he's actually uh saying, let's hire a mover.
Speaker 1: Wow. I know it's crazy, but they can't have a truck. Right.
Speaker 3: You can just know this the guy actually transport it.
They're gonna help us pack.
Speaker 1: Call that jack Rabbit or task grab it or task
grab it, yeah, goot a guy.
Speaker 3: Yes, so uh so I go and I go see
him and I said, Adam, did you put cigarettes in
my purse? And he goes no, And I said, okay,
what I said, there was a like a pack of
cigarettes in my purse.
Speaker 1: And he goes, well, who huh what? And I said, well,
I don't know whose it is. It's not old does
and old and I were home with four kids, five kids,
two of them ares.
Speaker 3: I don't know, it could maybe it's you know, the
first person you think of is unfortunately the daughter and
her friend. But I'm also thinking, well we'll hold on
though the sonny's friend is a little on the fence.
I can't get a read on him. The tidn't like.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out whose cigarettes are these?
Speaker 3: And then I go, okay, it's got to be one
of them, one of their friends. So we're gonna we're
gonna lay it on front of them. I don't know,
should we like do it one on, you know, just
should we have them most idea and I'll tell you
what we did.
Speaker 1: Okay. My suggestion would be to wait till they're in college,
wait till they drink of soda, okay, and then they
leave the soda. Yeah, and then you pick up the
can and then you have a DNA tested and then
you do a fingerprint on the on the pack of cigarettes.
You've been watching Dayline right too long. I was thinking that.
I was thinking that, I like, you're digging out in
their trash getting a DNA swap.
Speaker 3: I I'm like, dumbfound it. Adam is just like what,
I don't get it, and and so I don't. So
then I said, so did we get them both in
the room? Should we do it one at a time,
like surprise attack, we'll know right away who's lying, blah
blah blah. So the weekend we're pisso boers though, But
what I wanted to do was have them suit at
the table and then have pull out the cigarettes and
go whose are these? And when you know, you surprise
attack them like that one of them, you're going to
be able to tell, like, right, m shit, I want
to fucking kill that muffin eater. But then also though,
why would they put it in my purse?
Speaker 1: Though? Because they other maybe thought it was an Italia's
purse where they thought it was I don't their purse
for a second, really or somebody walked into the room
and they were trying to hide them really fast. Maybe
that's a good point. I don't know. But my purse.
So then that morning before I left, Sonny says, can
I go get my bag out of the car? I said, yes,
my purse, my key.
Speaker 3: Just take my purse because my purse has a key,
and the key the thing unlocks with the purse, so
they usually just pick up the purse up, they go
to the car, they get the thing, they come back.
Sonny did that, and I'm thinking he must have saw
the cigarette sitting out of mice. They're sticking out of
my purse, so huh. So then all right, so weekend
was busy and I kind of forgot about it. And
then last night was Sunday night, and Adam is at
football all day and I'm with the kids and they
got sports up the ying ying, She's got her volleyball
practice on us, and then he's got his basketball game.
So then afterwards, I go, let's the three of us
go to dinner. So we go out to dinner, and
now Mama has a half glass of wine. Now I'm relaxed,
and now I'm going talking about their friends and I go,
you guys got some good friends now, like, you know,
do any drugs or anything like that?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, no, I know, you know. And
then I go, who smokes? I looked at both of
them and they're like, huh any talking about smoke?
Speaker 3: What?
Speaker 1: I go, who smokes cigarettes? And they're like dad, because
Adam does smoke cigarettes at night after they go to
bed outside, not stupid, uh no, he smokes like those
like in like you know, I don't know, the Indian kind,
American spirits. Thank you. It's the worst. First of all,
aren't kids vaping these days? That's so old school to
be a cigarettes?
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: And so they all vape.
Speaker 3: I thought, that's what I thought. So I I I
come to.
Speaker 1: Unless mobile muffins stole the cigarettes from.
Speaker 3: Our parents or somebody sister, some trash somebody. Yeah, well
so but I looked at both of them. They both
were like no, I mean I could tell they didn't.
It were somebody's okay, So what I'm thinking?
Speaker 1: Do you smoke cigarette? Scalen? Who around here smokes? Smart?
I do? Yeah? Well no, not Marborough's that's Dylan.
Speaker 2: Dylan.
Speaker 1: Dylan smokes Marbols.
Speaker 4: Twenty sevens yeah, Marble twenty seven's.
Speaker 3: They're his because they have to be. They had to be. First,
I thought they were Robs who's over at the new
house because I put my purse down over there.
Speaker 1: What I was thinking is that somebody was cleaning up
or something.
Speaker 4: Rob also smokes Marbo marble lights, So they're probably Robs.
Sounds like because lands that's oh nobody around here.
Speaker 1: They're not red, they're not reds. They're Marvel the marbles.
They're silver or gold their gold. Oh yeah, that's Dyling.
That's the He hasn't really been smoking a lot recently,
so which is weird. Yeah, well now, yeah, it's because
the cigarettes are missing. It's because of Sonny and Italia
are smoking them. So there it is, there you go,
all right, you see I solved it. Yeah. I had
a feeling, Thank you, Kaylin this one. It would have
made a good episode of Unsolved Mysteries had Kaitlin not
solved it. Yeah, it's true. Now I could go into
cold case files. That's right, because they're solved. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Again, it doesn't seem like it would be Dylan because
he has cut down up bunchs like I haven't seen
him with his pack in weeks, and it's weird that
it would be in your purse.
Speaker 1: I don't see where is he? Is he here? He
just left? God damn it, he left on purpose. He
heard me starting to talk about the cigarettes.
Speaker 3: I have to think that my purse got set down
next to somebody's cigarettes, either at the new house with
Rob or here, and maybe somebody was cleaning up and
they thought and they just stuck because it was just
stuck into my purse.
Speaker 1: So it doesn't make sense that one of the kids
would put them in your purse. M they wouldn't let
you see them.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 1: I think they'd be vaping. I know, right, That's what
I said. That's what they all do. I've literally not
heard of a kid smoking a cigarette. They vape exactly.
And then I was thinking, yeah, like that's their vices
these days. Oh my god. Yeah, you would have smelled it.
You would have smelled it on them, right right, I
thinking That's what I was like, there's no way, what's worse.
For forty eight hours, I thought it was one of them.
If you had to pick a worst thing, would it
be smoking or eating a muffin while walking in the house.
I thought, you're gonna say it's a toss up. I
gotta say. I mean, I mean they're they're kind of equal.
It's like that's a that's a that's a parent's worst nightmare.
I have to I don't know. What would you do?
I don't know. I think i'd go with the smoking. No,
what would you at least smoke? At least smoke you
could kind of get out of your car seats those
muffin crumbs. Man, I'm never coming out. You gotta get this.
You're going to get that out. They get like goldrush.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, the worst it is. Yeah, So anyway,
there you go.
Speaker 1: Okay, that was a good story mystery saw. But over
forty eight hours, I thought my kids. I was mad.
I was like that little who which one like? It
couldn't be.
Speaker 3: I didn't think it was Sunny or Italia, because they're
not that stupid to put cigarettes into my perm.
Speaker 1: No, I don't figure.
Speaker 3: I thought it would have been one of their friends
who brought it over to joke around and try it
or something, and then panicked and shoved it in my purse.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But it's funny though, when I think
back to what I was trying and doing at that age.
Oh my people did have cigaret I don't know, and
hedges ultra lights.
Speaker 3: That's we would smoke cigarettes outside of our middle school.
And our health teacher in her station wagon sue because
I went to the hippie school and we called our
teachers by their first name.
Speaker 1: Me too.
Speaker 3: She drove by, and I'll never forget this. In the
pouring rain and on Balboa the street gets flooded and
we're standing outside smoking kids smoking my and she comes
pulling up, and she pulls up hard and she just
drenches all of us and she got, how about put
your cigarettes out?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's hilarious.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So wait, so that that was Valley Alternative? Was that?
Was that your middle school and high school? Yes?
Speaker 3: Suzanne went there for kindergarten through six through eighth through
through middle school. Then she left and went to Cleveland
High School.
Speaker 1: Yeah humanities. Yeah, it's been around for it.
Speaker 3: Okay, her older sister went there too, and then, uh,
but I came for the dumb part of the year.
I came from eighth grade through twelfth. That's when you
know what. I just found out.
Speaker 1: My best friend that I grew up with that was
lived on my street passed away. Really, yeah, of what,
she had knee cancer? What?
Speaker 3: Yeah, but her mother smoked, she was she's she's the
house always smelled really, I mean like cigarette. I mean
one she was a chain smoker. Then she started smoking
and then you know, so I didn't but I didn't know.
I had no idea she even had cancer anyway. But anyway, Yeah,
we were talking about the Magnet school, hippie school.
Speaker 1: Yeah, smoking outside, smoking in the bull's room, about like
how at a young age I was doing stuff. I
mean I was told you last time, I was drinking
up a storm already by fourteen. Yeah, I know me too.
It's just so interesting when I look at LB. She's
so innocent. And I'm not saying like her mind is innocent.
I'm just saying she's a very like Like I talked
to her about so and so who's vaping, who got
hot vaping? And she's just very like, oh, that causes
cancer right now? Like why would I do that? Yeah,
Sonny says that She's like, oh yeah, I asked her
if there's kids smoking at her school, if they're vaping,
like she knows, She's like, oh yeah, yeah, but only
the bad kids. Yeah. I know, she only the bad kids.
She goes the typical ones who are in trouble for everything,
the ones that are getting bad grades, getting yelled at
by the teachers, getting infractions, getting suspect, you know, detention.
Those are the same ones that are also vaping. Right,
there's a very hard demarcation between like, yeah, the good
kids that care about their grades and you know, right,
bad kids who don't give a shit about anything.
Speaker 3: And yeah, there's always that same kid. There's this one
older brother that's always getting in trouble and you just
got expelled for fighting. They were telling me about got
into a fight and actually punched the vice president.
Speaker 1: What the vice principal and the vice principal, Yeah, should
have punch the vice brother. Yeah, yeah, because he got.
Speaker 3: In between them and he went and kids don't know
how to fight. He just like swung his wrist and
hit him in the face. Yeah, and he's expelled. But
he vapes and blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Not jew not a Jewish kid though, right. I
couldn't imagine he would be. No, I know, it's uh,
it's scary though to think. But the thing is is
that they know now about the vaping, So now they
like they're on the lookout for it that the school
is and and kids are afraid, you know, of having it.
But I was going to say something about Italia, so
Sonny is like all about Sonny doesn't like to hang
out with the kids that vape because I remember at
a basketball game he was with his friends, but then
he started sitting by himself and I said, why aren't
you sitting with your other friends? Like those are your
boys are over there?
Speaker 3: But they were sitting with a group of the eighth graders,
older boys, and he goes, those boys vape.
Speaker 1: Oh I like that, you know, any part of that.
I love that. Also, I feel like if we can
keep the kids busy because LB's in like, you know,
a hundred I know, you know what I was thinking.
This is one of the things I wanted to tell
Natalia and the thing I was thinking about because I
have an app on my phone now that I downloaded,
I can see where she is hint them but her
and I can, you know, see the apps. I can
read their texts even though I don't really want to,
but I can. But I think, like I tell him, Ty,
I go watch what you say on tech.
Speaker 3: There was a girl the year before, one year older
than her, who took a picture of herself popless and
it went around the school and she was horribly depressed.
She could not go to school. She wanted not to
see anybody. It was very so I said, let that
be a lesson. And then I said, and also because
I know she talks on the phone with her boy
that she loves, that she talks to all the fun,
that they're just friends. But I said, well watch what
you say on your text too, because his parents are
probably reading them. So just you know, I don't want
to be sitting in a basketball game and having you know,
one of his parents come over to me and go,
missus Corolla, can we talk.
Speaker 1: About your daughter? You know, so you got to be
you know, you gotta just say yeah, yeah, okay, I
get it. What am I dom? Not stupid? Get out
take Phil with you. That's what she says. Yeah, I know.
I think you're doing the right thing though you're trying.
I mean, that's good you have that app.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I have to for her because also I can
control it and shut it down when I want to
shut it down. I don't wonder if she can't be
on the phone until all hours of the night and
stuff like that. And I, you know, once I heard
that she was on the phone at like twelve thirty
given this poor kid grief.
Speaker 1: You know. Did we talk about that on the shirt? Yeah,
and she's like, why are you saying this? Why you
don't know?
Speaker 3: I just wanted to say to the poor kid, just
hang up on her already Jesus. But I I had
to because I just you gets the app called.
Speaker 1: It's called are Packed, Oh you are Packed? Okay, pact
and you just connect the phones to it.
Speaker 3: It's kind of yeah, you got to have their passwords
for Apple, I d they have Apple. And then also
of course if they have a password to their phone
or whatever you got, you need to have their phone
so she knows she has it on her phone. But yeah,
it was like highly recommended and that's good though.
Speaker 1: That means that she knows whether you use it or not.
She's going to be thinking about that. Yeah, h yeah,
I worry about you know. It's interesting parenting, are you
know at this day and age. I guess not to
sound like a grandma back in my day, but but
when I was a kid, yes I had kind of
shitty parents, but but we did they even so, I
just think that we parent a lot differently now that
we are much more aware of what our kids are doing.
We're much more sensitive to their feelings. In fact, I
think we try to go We try to not stand
in their way and not fix everything for them. And
it's hard. It is, it's really hard to go how
much of them testing and experimenting is them growing up
and how much of it is something that we can
stop them from doing or protect them, you know, because
sometimes there's a part of me that's like, Okay, well,
Lbie is not necessarily normal for the fact that, like,
at some point she's going to have to grow up
and not be such a goodie goodie, you know what
I mean. But I just want to be I just
want to her to feel like, here's the thing, I
love her so much and I like being with her,
and I'm hope that the day doesn't come too soon
that she doesn't like being able to come to me.
But then it puts you in a weird spot because
you're like, I really enjoy I know that my kid
loves me and feels like I'm fun to be around,
and she can swear and we can like, you know,
make funny jokes and we can that I'm cool, right,
but then I don't want to be cool mom from
me and girls that's like hi girl, yeah you do
some cocktails drink here so that you need to drink
your house. Like there's a happy medium. There is a
happy medium. But I just feel like we as parents
have to check ourselves because before we wreck ourselves, you know, well,
I know, you know what's funny is that like Sonny
and I have that more like Natalia is in that
preteen like okay, but she still actually does have the
thing where when her friends are like, she everything's cringey,
you know whatever, But when her friends come over, she'll go, mom,
do that dance that from the Fortnite you know, like
they she oh. And then one of our friends go,
I like your Instagram page, missus Corolla. I was like,
oh no, really, fuck, I am an alcohol business, Like
what did I say on it? Now? I gotta watch
everything I say.
Speaker 3: But anyway, so she used to got that preteeny kind
of like get out, take fill with you, but Sonny
doesn't really have that. So and Sonny and I hang
We are together a lot because I'm taking him everywhere
around the Globe for basketball. But there's a point sometimes
where he wants to be with his friends. On a
Friday night or a Saturday night, he wants to go
spend the night.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, I thought we were gonna watch like
Modern Family tonight, Sonny. I thought we was friends. I know,
I thought we was friends. That's how I.
Speaker 3: Feel like it's we I go, oh God, and I
gotta think to my I gotta get yes. I gotta
stop myself because I think, oh god, I don't want
to be that mom.
Speaker 1: I know. I totally relate, though, Oh I do that
with Elbe sometimes Sometimes Elbie wants to have like two
back and yeah, She'll be like, oh and it's whoever,
Like she's kind of a hoe about it. It's the
last whoever asks or Whoever's like, hey want to come over?
Some people are coming over. She's like, yeah, Mom, do
we have any plans? And I'm like, huh, oh, we didn't.
But that makes so I know. That's how I feel.
That we're just gonna stay home and watch a movie.
That's how I want to see Me and girls. We
haven't seen it in a few weeks. Who else am
I going to talk to a round the house. I
don't watch whatever Pitch Perfect one, two or three out
of here do you want to watch? Have you guys
seen the Jerk? Because there's something like, and I love
Sadie and I love Xander. Obviously there's a different as
much as Shelby. Yeah, no, I'm just kidding, but yeah,
it's a little you know what it is too those
two have each other. Oh yeah, and and I love
like I have to come up with more stuff to
do just with Sadie because I really do like being
around Sadie. But here's the total truth of the matter.
Sadie is quieter and Albie yeah, like she's super fun
and she's great and I'm obsessed with her too. But
Elbe's like very chatty, and Alb's like I'll pick Alb
up from school, I'll pick Sadian and Xander up from school,
and then I'll be like, so, what happened today? Like
did you get in any arguments with people? Like you?
Like I want to have a little podcast, you know,
like did you have any fights with people? Did anybody
annoy you?
Speaker 3: Like I go, oh gosh, so I heard about what happened,
Tell me about tell me what happened? And they're like,
what what happened? I go, you know, come on, tell me,
like shut up?
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. But so both of them will be like well,
and then it'll be not the fun kind of gossip
like we do. It'll be the bad kind where they're like, well,
when I was doing math, it was really boring and
you know, uh, dont me kick my chair? Yeah, Timmy
was like sitting at my table and he was just
making a lot of noises and I didn't like that,
but I can't tell the teacher because she'll just say, like,
just tell him to stop, but he doesn't, and I'm
like I'm gonna freaking kill myself right now. This is
not what I had in mind about it, right, But
I'm like, no, but was somebody like did anybody get
in an argument on the field, like you know, yeah whatever?
Did a mom? Like, did any moms get into it? Like?
Were there any volunteer like right, you know, got any
juice about the principal something? Yeah? Well no, nothing like that.
I'm like all right, But then Elbie will get in
the car and I'll be like, spill the tea girl,
and then she'll have some great store like there'll be
something she knows what I like to hear about. And
she'll be like, okay, she can read the room, yes,
And I'm like, see it's entertaining, like I like when
I pick her up. Or she'll just be like she's
just funny. She'll just be like, mom, oh, she said
that's some guy at school. I can't remember, but something
about oh like she likes. She's like, oh, mom, this
was funny. She goes, Me and my friend were at
the mall and she goes in. This gay guy in
the work at the store. She was telling me it
was pack Son. She goes, me and my friend were
shopping at pack Son and we tried and my friend
I'll call her, you know, Delia. She goes, Delia tried
on this top and she goes in. This gay guy
who worked there walked by and he was like what.
He goes, what sis? He goes, Sis, that your body
looks snatched or whatever. It was just really funny the
way she said it. She goes, Oh my god, mom,
it was so funny. We were laughing so hard. It
was amazing. And then she just repeated it for me
three times. I get it right right, right, hey sis,
and makes you look snatched? Or whatever. And I was like,
that is like the tidbit I'm talking about right, Like
it's a fun story. It had a voice, right, it
had an impression in it. It showed me her personality
with her sense of humor. Is I'm like, why can't
your sister and brother do that? That's all I ask?
Just like an impression of a gay guy that works
at pacsun Is that that's all I ask? That's funny.
You know what's funny is that, Hey, sister, there's that.
Speaker 3: Remember I told you Natalia did a report on somebody
whoever she wanted to meet, dead or alive. And it
was the report on a YouTube star that did make
up a guy that did make up the guy I
can't think of his name, but he starts every show,
every YouTube with high Sisters.
Speaker 1: I'm sure people know, maybe they do or don't, but
every High Sisters.
Speaker 3: So when I say that to Natalia, she'll I don't know,
maybe that, but I say that, and she'll say, mom,
say it again, and then she tries to record it
for her friend. But yeah, that's I know, it's nice
to have that. I was like, you gotta have one
fun kid. Well, you know, it's like boring, like what
are we gonna?
Speaker 1: I was, I was saying, who was I just saying
this to Oh, I was at lunch today, was and
I was saying with Robin with a friend of mine
who's single, and she was saying, the holidays really suck
when you're singles. She goes, when you're you know, young
and single, because like everybody's Instagram is full of like, oh,
here's my boyfriend getting a tree or whatever. You know,
here's my boyfriend like with a puppy dog or whatever.
Like here's me and my boyfriend. And I go, well,
just wait, I go when you're married, the guye part
goes away and it's just all your kids, Like I go,
who cares about the husband?
Speaker 2: Myself?
Speaker 1: Lug and the Christmas tree? Yeah, but it's like here's
my kids just got their haircut. Here's us at the mall.
Like there's that the husband takes the back seat right
right right. I don't know, it's like you've been with
them a long time. You're not gonna be like, oh
my god, it was John, we're some kids together. No,
it's like here's my fucking awesome kid right exactly. And
then your boyfriend's and my kids the Starbucks.
Speaker 3: Yes, at Starbucks. I was thinking, why do kids love Starbucks?
So my kids love Starbucks and your kids do too.
Speaker 1: I don't know. They all love it. They get each
other's Starbucks gift card. No, what's to do? Like they
get excited when they get a Starbucks gift card. I
know they love coffee. I know they don't eat, they
drink the tea or whatever. I don't know. Italian likes
the brand, but kids are obsessed with Starbucks. Yeah, so
what else? Steph Okay, So Sadie is like my more
daring child. Elbie will tell you that she's like a
basic bitch. We've talked about that. She's like, Mom, I'm
really basic. I'm not quirking. You don't send me to
schroll quirky people. Like, it's just not me. Like, I
want to be the same as everyone else, maybe a
little bit different. I don't want to stand out too much.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it's not going to get the pink
shaved hair on the side.
Speaker 1: She's like, if everybody's getting their clothes from pacsun count
me in. That's where I want to show for everybody's
going to Starbucks, That's where I'm going yeah, you know,
just the same drink as everybody gets you, maybe a
little extra whipped cream. I don't know, I'm a little crazy.
She's just a go getter, a b part of everything.
It all sounds good. Sadie is not, and I'm really
kind of learning to love it. Like I got admire
the girl. Oh absolutely, Like at five she was, I
was reminding her because okay, so this what this leads
me to is so Sadie has for a while now
been shaving the side of her head, right, and then
she the last thing she did was shave the other
side of her head, so she had two sides that
were shaved down and then long on top. Okay, but
the hairs it was like a very wide mohawk, right,
but the hair would cover the shave part unless she
wanted to show it off. Then she would like put
in a ponytail or whatever. And of course at first
I was like, really, just shave both sides, Like don't
you want to be more like Lbie?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: But then I was like, oh, that looks cute. Yeah.
I don't know where she gets her ideas, yeah, but
she's the one who at five was like I want
to I want to do pink hair right, okay is
her hair? What color is her hair now? Right now?
It's like platinum blonde because I've I've pulled all the
color out of her hair. You do it. I do
it myself because otherwise it would be too expensive because
she's always wanting to do her hair change it. Okay, yeah,
so I the first time I did it, it costs
so much money that the next time I was like, okay,
well how about I just buy some bleach and bleach
your hair. So she was like, all right, so here's
what her hair color looks like right now? Her hair short.
I love that. Yeah, she Marilyn Monroe. I know, she's
very cute and so and I love it when it's
just super blonde. At first, I was like, why is
she trying to look so sexy? But where are you?
Like in the you guys look like Floyd Booth, like Floyd's.
Oh it's a barber shop. Okay, yeah, but look that's
like the back of it. It's so cute. She's just
very okay. So she just announces, you know, and I
want to have my hair short, like a pixie cut.
And I was like, uh, okay, are you sure? But
then I remember when she was but that's like her hair.
She got this really cute cut. That's really cute.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I I wish I could do my hair like
that where it's cut it's like a it's very short
in the back, but it's long and it's shaggy and
around the top and around it not like.
Speaker 1: Past her jawline. No I know, right, but she's very pitch.
She's just like super cool as a cucumber. She's like, yeah,
I want to cut it short. So I take her
to Floyd's and we had this haircutter, her name is Audily,
and she was just like the cutest, most fun hairdresser.
They have fun young people there. Y. I just love her.
And so so anyway, Elbe was like, well, I want
to do something with my hair, which I was so
excited for her because she never wants to do anything
with her hair. Right. So she's like, now here's the
thing I'm constantly spending money on, like Sadie's hair, right
because she's always doing stuff. Now Elby will just let
it she I haven't really even paid for a haircut
for her in a long time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, how much does it cost to get your hair?
Like if you wanted to change the collar. It's freaking
a lot of money.
Speaker 1: This is why I always do the bleaching myself for Sadie.
But it's still you pay for the bleach. I do
it myself, and then I put I buy colors and
I put it in her hair, okay, and she doesn't
need it to be really specific. It's not like doing highlights. Yeah,
when you say bleach, I think white, but it's not.
It's just it's well, it's yeah, lightens it. You just
have to be careful that you don't turn it orange accident.
If you do, then you have to keep going until
it's like really white. And I just do as much
of it as I can. But then I put color
in it, which blends it all in so it doesn't
just look like I fried her hair, right, right, but
it looks good whatever. The point is that, but I'm
not good at doing like real highlights. I'm not like
a freaking hairstylist, right. So the thing is, though, it's
a freaking crazy expensive. So then Elbie gets it in
her mind. She's like, I want to do my hair,
and then she shows me a picture and it's full
of highlights. And I was like okay. Well, so then
I bring her to Floyd's when Sadie got her hair cut,
and I had the hairdresser give her give us a consultation,
like tell us how much it's going to be, and
it was like going to be two hundred bucks? What yeah,
to do? But because it was like two different processes
to do the kind of highlight she wanted. You have
to pull the hair out, color out. Then in some
of it you have to put color in like for
her high for her to make it look highlighted. Yeah, okay, yeah,
well but then at that point she was super excited.
Then she was like, well, I'm going to do it
for you for one hundred and fifty. Oh that's nice.
But that's like that was kind of what was allying.
Speaker 3: It looks really cute. It's highlighted. Yeah, it's highlighted all
the way through it. But I could not believe it
was three hours. Oh I know, it takes a long time. Yeah,
And it was like and.
Speaker 1: Then of course I was like, I don't think I
want to spend that much money on your hair. I mean,
you're fourteen. But then I had to go all right,
let me think if I amortize out all the times
that I haven't had to do anything to her hair
ever for like a few years, she was just growing
it out. She let me trim at a tiny bit,
you know, and I was like, I spend money on
my hair. Well, I mean it felt bad.
Speaker 3: The thing is is that it was like, it's not
like she's got gray roots where you got to take
her every four to six weeks. You know, I don't
get to like she might even just not want to
continue and.
Speaker 1: Keep it up. I don't know, but I guess I'm
just saying that, like you start to think about it
and go, like, when I was a kid, could you
I'm spending any money on my hair, let alone my
hair got cut by first of all, my mom cut
my hair herself until I was it's like sixth grade.
And in the sixth grade I cried so hard because
I was like I was the only kid who didn't
have a professional haircut. So she brought me to like
a friend's house, like somebody who cut hair out of
their house. That was like sit on a milk crate, Yeah,
I get hair. It was not like she had a
studio in her house. It was like, you know, she
was drunk on gin smoking a cigarette and like, sure,
I'll cut your hair. And it was supposed to be
a Dorothy Hamil but it looked terrible, you know. So
I have bad memories, so I've always brought my kids
to salons. Yeah, and I'm like, I'm not You're not
gonna have to relive my past.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, Well oldest daughter cuts kids here, right, Oh,
she cuts their hair.
Speaker 1: Although I've cut Sonny's hair.
Speaker 3: A couple of times, and I think I did a
pretty damn good job. It's easy for boys, just you know.
But when I was a kid, I had the afro,
I had the jew frow that.
Speaker 1: Nobody knew what to do with. And there was no
you know, there was no straightening, there's no anything nothing.
Speaker 3: I went to Tisha Calhoun's house and she, you know,
I ironed it. I ironed it and put the like chemicals
that her mom had in it, and I smelled like
that chemical for and my hair just got worse and worse.
And finally, because my dad put me in showbiz and
wanted me to, you know, go on auditions, he was like,
I have you looking like this?
Speaker 1: So he took me. Remember, there was a chain of
them great expectations. I remember great expectations. Yeah, oh wait,
maybe I'm thinking of the dating website. Okay, I think
that's what it was. And I remember leaving there thinking,
oh my god, this is a dream. I was like
in seventh grade. They blew dry my hair so it
was like smooth and everything. I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 3: And I remember everybody going, you look like a young
Valerie Burtinelli, and I was like, and I loved one
day at a time, I was just like, ugh.
Speaker 1: And then I'll never forget.
Speaker 3: When I washed it and tried to do it myself,
it was the best day of my life. And then
five days later it was the worst fucking day of
my eye cried, could not stop crying. I go, I can't,
and I like blamed it on them for some reason.
Speaker 1: Like they screwed up my hair. They did it nice,
but now I can't do it because it's all I
looked like Darth Vader, like I looked like Roseanne, Rosanna
and Dana right. It was just like because they probably
put some layers in it, they did just make it,
which you can't not with curly hair unless you're gonna
blow it dry, unless you're gonna have it blown out professionally.
Now you can't do it yourself. No, I know, trust me,
because no matter what, unless you're really taking piece by
piece and doing it, parts of it are gonna wave
out and kind of frizze out, and then it's gonna
make the whole thing like a crisp fucking mess.
Speaker 3: And by the way, there was no like roll brushes
back then. It was always Vent brushes.
Speaker 1: Everybody had a Vent brush or a comb in their
back box, but it was a Vent brush, and everyone's like,
this is the brush you need. You're gonna need a
Vent brush. Like fuck, no, I'm gonna need a fucking
new head because I can't blow dry my own hair
like it was. My hair was always bad, my whole entirely.
And then I thought one time, oh, I'll cut it
short and maybe then that'll fix the problem. And that's
even worse. That's even worse. Oh yeah, I tried to
do the cut from the from Natalie Portman when she
was in the professional Yeah. So she had that little
she had that lot of an a line bob that
was very severe that went to her chin, and then
she had like the bangs. No, because you don't know
because my hair is very it's it's it's I have
to straight I use a straightening ron now, But at
the time my hair was even more like kind of
frizzy weight. It was weight. Did it expand? Oh yeah,
so I looked like I just had a mushroom on
top of my head. I mean it was one of
the worst haircuts I've ever had. It was appalling, And
I remember when they first did it, it looked like okay,
but it was a little too full. Even when they'd
blown it dry and tried to make it look like that,
it was like the bangs were a little bit curling
out that much, and the hair was a little too
far away from the sides of my head. But I
was like, and you know when even when they've done
it and it starts starts to take a life of
its own, like a couple hours later, it's just starting
to make an escape from my head, and I was like,
this is a a line. Yeah, oh yeah. But the
first time I washed it, I had the same thing,
and I was like, that was done at Fantastic Sam's too.
I think I told you this story. It was years
ago because the guy was like had been somebody was
on the air at k Rock. His name was like
a Mirror or something. I can't remember, but I remember
going in there and he started telling me that he
worked k Rock. He was like, but but he also
worked at Fantastic, saying yes, yes, because he'd like, oh,
was he like an intern or something? But he got
on Omar, Oh it was an Omar. Maybe this was
like an older guy, like middle Eastern guy. Was it
the Armenian comedian And yes, the Armenian comedian. Yes, oh
my god, yes, he cuts hair at Fantastic.
Speaker 3: He was like a whack packed person. He's a real
person that cut hair. And then like somebody discovered him
and with that he was funny.
Speaker 1: And the Armenian comedian gave me the mushroom cut. Oh no, yes,
oh my god. Yeah, but talk my you're off about
being the Armenian comedian. Yeah, true Storyry. So I have
all this trauma hair trauma. So I guess I feel
like there's this one part of my brain that goes,
am I the kind of person who has a fourteen
year old daughter with highlights and an iPhone X. But
on the other hand, like, what's what like then, am
I the kind of person that's like no, you will
not have highlights in your hair. I don't care how
bad you want them. Because we found a way to
get highlights when we were that age, and it was
called qt qt No. Yeah, son in son inn in.
Qt was the Orangish self tanner stuff, right. Son In
was the spray you put in your hair and it
turned your which was basically like lemon juice. Yes, exactly.
You hope that the sun would do the rest of
the job, right, it didn't. You think your hair is
going to turn out like fairy faucet right or jacqueliness
the perfect light, you know, and fuck no, it turns
into dentist the menace. Yes, orange orange, Oh my god.
That's the best case scenari A worst case scenario is
you buy the sun in with your allowance and it does.
Speaker 3: Nothing, does nothing nothing. I have a ton of hair trauma.
Like my whole wife, Suzanne always says like like, I
don't know what happened to you, but you got lucky
as you got older. I don't know IF's hormones or something.
My hair calmed down. Also, my roll brushes came into
the picture. And also you know, the right kind of
hair treatments came into the picture. Wendy my sister in
lawnch When I first met her, she's ten years older.
She has the same hair. She taught me how to
blow dry my hair straight. She was like, oh you
poor dear, who nobody's helping you with that fucking head.
Speaker 1: Let me show you what to do. Like she got
hot tools, had like that, the blow dryers with the comb,
with the right attachable brush, comb whatever, and it had
the comb and she's like, you use it, and I
was like I had to.
Speaker 3: I was like, what if this thing overheats and it dies,
and then what am I going to do?
Speaker 1: I don't know how do I find this?
Speaker 3: And she's like, you can get it at a beauty
supply store. And I for years would do that, and then,
you know, then I got older, and then the Brazilian
blowout came on the scene, and then by.
Speaker 1: Then my hair just started naturally getting the hair. My
hair is basically all right, bitch, we got it, and
you want to be straight. It's gonna you know. It changed,
but it didn't change that much. Mine air is still
not great. Hell, I gotta be honest with you. I
need to write. I have to. I've stuck with the
same hairdresser for years because if I find someone who
can cut my hair and make it look cute, and
I just stay with them. Now, if you do one
wrong thing with my hair, it does its own. It
just has a mind of its own. It has weird
waves in weird places that are not attractive, wavinginess. It's
just odd. And some parts are just kind of kind
of frizzy, kind of wavy. You have to do something
with it, yes, yeah, got to blow it dry and
then if you want curls, you got to purposely make
some curls. You can't just scrunch it. Now. There's not
going to be a kind of beachy waves that just
looks like shit on me. Oh totally me too. Yeah,
So I'm n this with my kids. I've been very
lax about like, all right, I'll spend that much money
on your hair. It's weird because it's like, what are
they do? You remember when your parents would say, Uh,
my mom would say this to me all the time,
Like if I wanted a certain kind of clothes or something,
my mom would be like, it's not a fashion show,
like you're going to school. That was her brain. It's
not a fashion show like you don't need to look
like you don't need to have Yeah, exactly where are
you going? Which is kind of what I say to
myself now, Like when I think about buying something that's
at all expensive, I always talk myself out of it
by going, when will I ever wear? Where am I going?
Speaker 6: Target?
Speaker 1: I don't need Chama first, I know, right, I'm like,
I'm going to my podcast, then I'm going to my
other podcast. What I'm going to go to my other podcasts?
And then I'm going to the grocery Ralph, right, and
then I'm going home. I know me too, I think
where we're am I going to wear that? If I'm
really going crazy, I'm going to go to the movies
with somebody. Sometimes I'm like, when I think about putting
on makeup because I just want to look cute, I
sometimes like, who am I kidding? Like for like, am
I gonna like scam on guys while I'm out? And
like are they gonna be like? Oh, I wouldn't liked
your mini van? Anybody want a juice box? Anybody want
a Caprice lemonade? Exactly?
Speaker 5: That's okay, all right, your parent, Now, don't lef it up.
Speaker 2: Some yourself.
Speaker 6: You better yourself because I'm bad for your health.
Speaker 2: I'll come little stuff dropping your mom calm moms doing
felt up and they don't. I wants the four six,
so h is that tricks?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 6: And friends, no we got that Indo, No suck, don't
sitting in the house up pain and no I'm not
the butler. I'll touch up. They say you can't touch this,
and I wouldn't touch up.
Speaker 2: Motherfucked up. Let you know. Boy, oh boy, I'll make joke,
but don't.
Speaker 7: Tell me no wood this same, no fucking motionp bitcher,
I got your bitcher.
Speaker 2: My nigga gets wincher.
Speaker 6: And then just thinking, they get to the neck, so
you better brunner, sure, help me get.
Speaker 7: Yourself just before you.
Speaker 2: Yourself because s I go, do us all bare for
the hillig ship?
Speaker 7: Yeah ship's not the Cuba.
Speaker 6: And then they did play because they bitch made pulling
out a switch blade. That's come a boat, because that's
a night fout ak forty seven, that's all light foak.
Speaker 2: I'll look at it.
Speaker 6: I'm niftyep time got a new sad watch I had
claiming that they foting bank.
Speaker 2: But that he talking ship in the holes. But you
want to step to me. Now you're asking him and
for the.
Speaker 6: Depth Jetty, they said you're Charlie's baker, timber broke. Now
he's running up for yourself, yours to be the time one.
Speaker 2: Now your name is just one snapping one of your
guys and now your better runner.
Speaker 6: Before you yourself, come your something, just something before yourself.
Speaker 2: Big dicks in your ass is bad for your head.
Speaker 7: Chi show what y'all need to check yourself. You know
what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Word is born, word is born. If your foul, you
better run to make on that night SI place, you
could have had a beat Bakes.
Speaker 6: It's that of betray yes to Ukrainey, I got six
and I'm payment.
Speaker 2: Keep your guessing because fuck you one that ship just
stresses and get off the wood.
Speaker 6: You're no good that goes the neighborhood. Keep your DAWs,
giving them the class means the flaws.
Speaker 2: At the time. And your dad then said to mind,
give me her what came. Head picks hard and send
lungs now be dunk out, Get the fuck out, because
where gets no respect. Your matter brunner.
Speaker 7: Before you yourself, so take it exactly just before you yourself,
because it.
Speaker 2: Moved like you with that for myself chickens. Set before
you yourself, so take it exact. Just set before you,
just just yourself yourself.
Speaker 7: It's an except just before you yourself.
Speaker 2: The mob for your help. Nine break, we'll mix. Old
school tells. Yeah, it's like to tackle sometimes, make him
wander how I killed going out?
Speaker 1: Who