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Speaker 1: Hi, it's Devon and welcome to this bonus episode. Now

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this one's a little different. You see, when I hear

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people talking about conscious sensuality and tantra, it's generally misunderstood.

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People assume tantra is about strange sexual positions, but it's

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really not. It's about a connection with your deeper sensuality.

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It's about building confidence. It's about being the person you

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are and being proud of it just as you are.

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The essence of conscious sensuality covers many bases. It's a

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deeply powerful technique. So today I'd like to share a

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story with you, one that's quietly powerful, deeply human. It's

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about a woman that I will call Christie to protect

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her privacy. All the details in the story are true,

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So if you're in a place where you'd prefer not

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to listen to stories about intimate life and sexuality, you

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might want to skip this one. For everyone else, just

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take a nice, deep breath and let it go with

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a sigh, listening with an open hearted mind. Christy first

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came to me at forty six. She'd been in a

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long term relationship for many years. To the outside world,

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everything looked well ordinary. They share their home routines, responsibilities,

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even children. But inside she felt invisible. She felt neglected.

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She told me, she felt unwanted, undesired, like the person

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everyone relied on to keep the home together. She did

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the dishes, but she wasn't seen as a sensual, vibrant person.

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She wasn't seen as a complete human. So over time

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she'd lost confidence. Not overnight, but bit by bit. The

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intimacy and the relationship had dwindled. When sex did happen,

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it was cold and prescriptive, something they did on a

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Sunday morning, and she thought sensual pleasure was something given

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by someone else. If her partner wasn't present or didn't

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meet her there, she thought she had no access to it.

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We began with small steps, nothing dramatic. Christie told me

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later that the idea of relearning how to feel sounded

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almost silly at first, as if sensation and desire were

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both basic instincts that should just be there. But life

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had trained to to look outward for validation, and that

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inner connection had gone quiet. So that's where we started.

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Central presence. That took no more than five or ten minutes.

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It helped her realize that her sensuality was still there.

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It had just become ignored and distant. We also worked

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with her in a voice. Christie had internalized messages, small

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unhelpful messages like you'll pass that, well, that's not for

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people like you. We tracked those stories, named them, and

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gently rewrote them. Instead of waiting for some one to

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say you're desirable, she practiced saying it to herself, quietly,

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one word at a time. Another gentle shift was reframing

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pleasure as something that lives inside her, not granted by

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someone else, something not to be embarrassed by, but to

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embraces a beautiful part of her. That idea landed for

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her like a door opening. Pleasure as an available, lived experience,

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not a reward to be earned or reprised to be

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given away. It was hers to give, to enjoy. Within

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about three weeks, Christie began to notice a significant change.

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It wasn't sudden fireworks at first, It was little, steady things,

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she said. There were nights when she went to bed

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feeling a warm glow in her body just from paying

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attention to her breath. She'd find herself smiling unexpectedly, noticing

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the ways sunlight looked on her arms, or how gentle

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self touch felt after a long, hard day. These were

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the small reclamations on the journey of conscious sensuality. And

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then something she hadn't expected. She experienced her first sustained

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accessible orgism at forty six. She told me she'd assumed

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that that moment had passed for her. She believed those

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experiences were only for other people. But through constant presence,

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breath work, and giving herself permission to fill without shame

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or performance, her body remembered, or perhaps learned anew how

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to enjoy her deeper pleasure. She described it to me

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like this, She was discovering an inner flame, not a

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flash of eroticism that needed someone else to light it,

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but a steady warmth could return to a resource she

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could draw on when she wanted, and that resource changed

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how she related to her partner, her life, everything around her.

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She didn't need him to create her pleasure. She could

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bring more of herself to their connection, more presence, more invitation.

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The difference open new possibilities for communication and for a

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tenderness between them. Now, this is important, and I want

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to be clear on this. Everybody's journey is their own,

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uniquely so Christie's timeline was hers. People come to this

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with different histories, different bodies, different layers of nervous system response,

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so how you will experience a deeper pleasure will be

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uniquely yours. But I do know that by learning how

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to be present your senses, by restoring your permission to

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fill and deepening your connection with your natural sensuality, and

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practicing simple, consistent exercises can create a meaningful shift, sometimes

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sooner than we expect. So if Christie's story resonates with you,

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if you recognize that feeling of being unattractive, unsexual, unsensual,

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and you want to reclaim your sensuality is your own.

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I have a small complimentary audio that can help you begin.

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It's a gentle guided meditation called the Inner Flamegateway. It's

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about fifteen minutes long, and it's designed to guide you

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into a RESTful state where we can safety open your

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senses to your deeper sensuality. Now, you can find the

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damn link in this episode's notes, or you can come

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and see me at in a Flame dot com. It's

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a free invitation to give yourself a moment to focus

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sensual pleasure. So if you are ready to go deeper,

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then you can take your inner fire even further, as

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we will take you through step by step guided audios

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to reclaim your sensual presence, to indulge in a deeper

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level of pleasure, not just in the bedroom, but in

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daily life, in the world around you, and intensify the

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pleasure that you can experience every single time. So if

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you'd like to learn more, you'll find a link in

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the show's notes. Remember, Christie's story is a reminder that

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sensuality is not an external luxury. It's not the thing

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you have to ern or be given. Is a part

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of you waiting for permission to be felt. If you're

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listening today, in something inside you have softened, that's the beginning.

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Be kind to yourself, start small notice, breathe but for now,

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thank you for listening and sharing this time with me.

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And if this episode has touched you somewhere deep inside,

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then the inner flame gateway is waiting for you. Or

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maybe you'd like to share this episode with someone who

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might need a gentle reminder that they're in a flame

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is always there. The same that say Spain to Spain

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and pad into add a ducted and into a taducted

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passssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

