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Speaker 1: Welcome to soft Core History.

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Speaker 2: What is up? Welcome back to soft Core History. I

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am your host for the week, Rob Fox, joined as

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always by Dan Regester.

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Speaker 3: Hi, Rob, and we have a very special guest today.

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I've never met this person new to the show.

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Speaker 2: Hasn't heard it. Uh, she's been on before though. Actually,

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my wife, Courtney Campbell Fox hyphenated, is on the show today.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Rob, not hyphenated, don't listen to the show.

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Speaker 2: Just Courtney Fox. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I haven't been asked back in two years.

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Speaker 3: But first time, long time. Actually it was before really.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, four four years.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we've been doing this podcast for five.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we tried, which I tried to explain to her

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on the way in. I was like, if she comes

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on the podcast, so my parents are in town and

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they're watching the kids right now, who are hopefully asleep. Anyway,

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but I tried to explain to her, if she comes

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on a show on a normal weekend, we have to

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hire a babysitter, and as a family, we lose money

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on the show. Yes, like the show no longer becomes

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profitable if you're on it any other week than this week.

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Very slim margins.

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Speaker 4: We operate on that's fine. I mean our parents come

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and visit regularly, but that's okay. You don't have to

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have me back.

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Speaker 1: It's fine.

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Speaker 2: We don't really. I mean, you were so tired this pregnancy.

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I feel like that would have been Oh.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited, a little couple fight. Yeah, on the podcast,

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and I'm just gonna sit back watch.

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Speaker 2: Clawse out the whole time. You might watch things disintegrate. Today,

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you might all crumble.

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Speaker 1: And I don't even know how the show works because

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we know I don't listen.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well I dunked on you and you never came back.

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Speaker 1: That's true.

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Speaker 2: What was that episode? It was on, just like fucked

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up birthing things through history your TOPA. Yeah, I don't remember.

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I mean I don't remember what I did. Three weeks ago,

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so five years old, before you had kids, before.

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Speaker 1: You Yeah, you were like does this sound yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Corney was very You were showing like you were

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like eight months.

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Speaker 1: Pregnant at that point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think I was like really pregnant, and I kept saying,

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this looks terrible.

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Speaker 2: It's not great. I just flush out the stuff that

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you have, ADHD.

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Speaker 3: I have the tism. It's a good balance.

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Speaker 2: I won't remember half the things I said on this podcast,

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which is like, if I ever got in trouble for

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anything that I said on a podcast, I literally all

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it would be like is like I don't even remember

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saying that. So that that gives you any idea of

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how seriously I take what I'm doing. But I will

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say anything. Yeah, shows.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how you guys keep up with all

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the topics.

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Speaker 3: Those kids.

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Speaker 4: You have the memory of a goldfish, So I don't

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know how you just don't bring the same ship.

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Speaker 3: I have to remember and remind him.

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Speaker 2: I have a whole document of just links, and I'm

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so impressed links.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't remember. Yes he did, though, so I have

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to constantly tell him about Jake's stuff. Yeah, from four

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years ago. And now we have Patreon. We do three

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episodes a week, so check out patreon dot com. Slash

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Software History an additional episode every Wednesday and Friday. Boy,

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we've done a lot of topics.

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Speaker 2: We've so many you should be out of history at

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this point.

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Speaker 3: That's the thing about history keeps going fucking bottomless.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we just can't do like our joke, like to say,

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Jake's History of Sound episode, like we can't.

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Speaker 3: Two bron we've exhausted all the big ones. Yeah, it'll

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be sweeping too many things under one row.

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Speaker 2: So now we have to go really detailed. And we

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are going detailed today. And I like to to cater

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the topics to the guests on the show. Typically, if

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it's like Gabby for the ace time, I'm like, we're

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just doing this and you can show up. But I

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typically like to cater the topics to the people on

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the show. So today, since we have a hashtag boy mom.

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Speaker 1: On the show, an actual boy mom times three.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So were you disappointed with Sammy?

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Speaker 1: No, he's the best baby.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but you wanted the girl.

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Speaker 1: I did, but then he was born and I felt

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like a real asshole for being upset.

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Speaker 3: It was Sammy gonna be the name regardless.

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Speaker 1: No, we had no name for like we to day.

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Speaker 2: I said this on the show, like we sat there

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for a day and it was just like hi baby. No.

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Speaker 4: Rob was very mad, he was very mad at me,

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saying this baby needs a name.

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Speaker 1: Come up with a name.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I was like, I can't, I can't. I

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can't love it until I know its name.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's actually a terrible thing.

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Speaker 3: I think you guys actually should have waited to the

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first birthday party to pick the name.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, I kind of liked waiting because it's like, well,

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now I've met you, I.

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Speaker 2: Gotta figure out your personality.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, otherwise you're just kind of rolling in with a

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name and it might not fit them, you know.

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Speaker 3: Kind of disappointed it wasn't Damn.

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Speaker 2: But sure.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, we threw around Daniel as a middle name because

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not for you, but for my grandfather, and I just

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felt weird because it felt like it would be you.

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Speaker 3: We already have a rob, we have a white Jake. Yes,

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there's no there's no Dan. I know Daniel.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it could have been. Could have been Samuel Dan.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, sam Dan, sam Dan sam Dan Fox.

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Speaker 1: That has a ring.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, Samuel Daniel.

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Speaker 1: She she got Samuel and Daniel. That is a choice strong.

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Speaker 2: She got selfish and gave the child her middle name.

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Speaker 3: Wake Ye who would do such a thing? I would,

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thanks Dan, Well, I would do So that was that

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was a shot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that was that was all on me. But so

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as a boy mom, which is like such a memed

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thing online, how do you what what is life like

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to you? Dealing with three boys every day, because that's

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the topic of this episode, is what you're gonna have

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to deal with in the future based on these historical anecdotes.

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Speaker 1: Exhausting, somewhat violent, and very dirty.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my dad's just been taking Finn to play in

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the mud every morning.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's disgusting. I'm sure there's a dog shit in

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there too.

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Speaker 3: And how excited are you for when they all hit

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puberty at relatively the same time.

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Speaker 2: No, like within a year of each other. They're all

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going to hit puberty.

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Speaker 1: In high school at the same time.

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Speaker 4: You know, I'm not not excited because they're boys, so

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they're not going to hate me the way a girl would.

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Speaker 3: Girl's easier, first, harder in teenage years from what.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I was awful. It was a horrible teenager, which.

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Speaker 2: Is so funny to imagine. It was a huge at

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your ball.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm fine with it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they will like you.

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Speaker 1: It's just my house is gonna smell bad.

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Speaker 3: And you spend your entire day talking to three toddlers,

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three little boys.

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Speaker 1: I do Rob will come home from work and be like,

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I don't really want to talk. I've been talking all

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day like this. I don't care.

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Speaker 4: I haven't spoken to anyone over the age of four.

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You need to talk to me.

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Speaker 2: Don't make me speak. That's all I've been doing. It's

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all I know.

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Speaker 3: If Rob doesn't talk to you, I fear it might

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be Leo's wife in Shutter Island. He comes home and

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he's like, with the kids, honey, they're at school. It's Saturday.

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Was cool and sat.

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Speaker 2: Fortunately there's no pond by our house. It's dark Dan,

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So we're good. We're all right on that. But yeah,

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today I'm excited for you to watch to deal with

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these boys as like call it like eleven to seventeen,

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because I don't like I was a ridiculous child, like

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I've been arrested. I got into all kinds of bullshit.

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We have your mugshot. There is no mugshot.

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Speaker 1: I wish there was a mug shot.

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Speaker 2: I know it would be like I actually think I

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was nineteen. So you're not arrested.

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Speaker 1: No, he was thrown in a cell.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you got a minor in possession.

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Speaker 2: That was it was an MIP, but that kept me

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in jail over night because we were also tepeing houses.

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So no mugshot, I don't think.

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Speaker 3: So you didn't take a photo. You don't remember that.

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I remember a homeless guy trying to hang himself in

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his cell. Well, that's a core memory, it's an absolute.

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Speaker 2: That's like I will have dementia on my deathbed and

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that will come in like before, like my parents, Like

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that will be a stronger memory than my own mother.

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Speaker 3: The last thought you have before you die, Yeah, is

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just his face.

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Speaker 4: I just love your dad's logic to not come bail

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you out of jail, that it was unsafe to go

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to an ATM in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he left me in there because it was what

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like'st St.

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Speaker 3: Louis.

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Speaker 2: No, it was U City is where I'm from, Okay,

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but it's.

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Speaker 1: I was like, there's They didn't even charge him.

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Speaker 2: They didn't. Well, my dad knew the cops too, I know,

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so he just came in the morning. The cop was

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from our parish, and the cop was like, oh, Bob, yeah,

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your kid's in here. You can just take him.

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Speaker 3: Must be nice, Must be nice. We had different childhoods.

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Speaker 1: Did you go to jail?

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Speaker 3: Never went to prison? I actually loved out to hear it.

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I you know, Kevin Wared shattered my tip fib and

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his football a week before all my friends got arrested

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for drinking underage, so I would have been there and

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I would have gotten He broke.

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Speaker 2: His legs so bad. She's not gonna understand, Kevin, whare

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he broke his legs so bad that the bone shot

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out of the skin both ends. Oh my god, two bones.

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Speaker 3: And then also, I mean they reset my leg wrong,

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so you see how it's not straight. I get the

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feet crowd right now, you see these little toes.

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Speaker 2: Let's get it.

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Speaker 3: Try to get a larger audience. We can grow anyway

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we can.

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Speaker 2: Dan was allegedly supposed to be like six three, but

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you're pretty tall.

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Speaker 1: How tall are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm six foot like on the dot, and no one

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believes that.

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Speaker 1: Like now you're five to oay, I believe you.

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Speaker 3: I know nobody's nobody except me is exactly six feet

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No one.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like a lie, it does. I'll tell you

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six feet even. I should round you're six feet yeah,

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I'm the shortest sibling. I should say six to one.

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Speaker 3: You are, yes, because then the beliefs six one.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, especially if your hair, if you have like the

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flow going and even right now it's enough. But if

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the flow is going and you're adding like an inch

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and a half on that. People won't question it.

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Speaker 3: Courtney, Do I look less homeless than the last time

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you saw me?

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Speaker 1: Yes, it looks like you've trimmed your facial hair.

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Speaker 3: And my actual hair.

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Speaker 2: It's fight. Yeah, kept it tight, all right?

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Speaker 1: So did I tell you to your face you look?

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Speaker 3: Tomas was uh no, Rob just relayed the message.

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Speaker 2: I posted something on Instagram and you were like, what

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the fuck is going on with Dan?

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Speaker 4: Well, it just kind of looks like somebody dumped you

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in the wilderness and then picked you up.

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Speaker 1: A couple of weeks later.

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Speaker 3: We could try different things. Yeah, I like to customize

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my avatar.

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Speaker 2: It's fair I can't, so, yeah, you have no options.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're kind of one note.

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Speaker 2: You're backwards at or nothing pretty at this point. I

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just there's three kids, like, I'm not gonna do my hair.

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Thank you for doing your hair for the show.

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Speaker 1: I did wash it today. You're welcome.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I appreciate that. There's no way I was going

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through it.

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Speaker 3: She's too vain. She was talking about her shot before

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the show. She's like, is this what I look like?

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It's like, yeah, sorry, it's too purple.

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Speaker 1: Also that yeah, all.

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Speaker 2: Right, So today we're talking about some boys who got

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into some shit. Boys like literal like I think like

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nine to fourteen is roughly the range who got into

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some shit in history that I find semi plausible that

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our boys could get into under the right circumstances. Okay,

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First up, we start in Paris in eighteen thirty. Believe

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it or not, the French you're having another revolution.

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Speaker 3: Happens every couple of decades.

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Speaker 2: Every this was like every other year. This is lame Is,

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Eir of France. So this is like, why does the

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king ohpress me again? This was a loaf of brad.

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Were you in Lamez? I was in high school.

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Speaker 1: You better believe he was in lames.

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Speaker 2: Why were you no one? I was in the chorus? Damn,

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I know, I wasn't. That was I did have a

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solo though. That was the one musical ever that I

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had a solo in song.

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Speaker 1: Uh but were you just a lowly peasant?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I was literally a peasant. I think it was

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at the end of the day or another day. Older.

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Speaker 1: You need to just lie and say you're Jean Valjean

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the other Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well that Courtney, our audience would know. I wasn't Jean

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Valjean because Jean Valjean is one of the few tenors

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in the cast. They call me out on that immediately.

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Oh okay, oh no, I'm sorry. Javert is a tenor,

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Jean Valjean, it's a baron. So yeah, I could have

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been John Beljean Cool.

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Speaker 3: I got caught out for our Patreon episode because I

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said Atlantic City is North Jersey, which is just not

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accurate at all. It's North Jersey to me, but it's

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still south of Philly.

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Speaker 2: It's what.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I used to go to like super super

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South Jersey wild Wood and it's still.

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Speaker 2: It's north of that.

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Speaker 3: It's north of that, but it's but it's technically South Jerseys.

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Speaker 2: Okay. But to me, I didn't. I don't know Jersey.

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That one would have never called you out on that,

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and I've lived next to it my entire life. Yeah,

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I would have never known.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 2: If it wasn't for the listener, I would have been like, oh, yeah,

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Dan knows Jersey pretty well.

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Speaker 3: Me a copa.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, You've got to own it. We make mistakes. It happens,

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it will happen. We're softcore history, that's geography. We're soft

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core geography too. It's fun, yeah, softcore everything. So the

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July Revolution of July twenty six to twenty ninth, eighteen thirty,

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King Charles the tenth of France has just issued a

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bunch of just new laws that people hate. Protests spark

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around the city because the French ride about everything. And

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in true Lemas fashion, you know, the barricades were thrown up,

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wagons and chairs and everything, and soldiers started clashing with

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people and there were just fights all over the city

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and stuff like that amid this. It's a great time

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anytime this happens. Great time to be a street urchin

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perfect great time to be an Oliver Twist type little pickpocket.

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Speaker 1: Just a little shit like like a little Oliver Twist.

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Speaker 3: Group, Yes, just like a little group, just like little

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groups of kids were boys specific For the most part,

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we're running around the city unattended, getting into some shit

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because no one cared because there were bigger things going.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure all their parents were dead doing hood.

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Speaker 3: Rash shit with their friends.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well or there were orphans, yeah, one of the other.

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Speaker 3: They will steal from you, they may they may stab you.

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Speaker 2: They will do anything. It's uh, what was the end

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of that movie City of God. Yeah, we're just like

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the twelve year olds take over the street gang.

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Speaker 3: City God is one of my favorite movie.

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Speaker 2: City of God is fantastic. But they assassinate like the adult,

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like the twenty year old gang member. Yeah, and they're

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like yeah, like it's like the have you seen the

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City of God?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 1: Is that the Christian Bale movie?

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Speaker 2: No, it's a brilliant Oh.

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Speaker 1: I know what it is. No, I would never want

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to it sounds sad.

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Speaker 2: Oh not that many kids dying?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not.

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Speaker 2: No, it's like max five max, all of them twenty.

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They also grow up faster there they do. Oh my gosh.

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That's the end the whole literally the end of the

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movie is they kill like the twenty year old gang

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leader and these two like nine year olds have guns

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now and they're like, okay, first we got to kill

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this guy, and then we're gonna kill this guy because

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he's a dick. And they're like, clearly horrible, clearly talking

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about other children.

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, No, I don't want to watch that bit

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date night, absolutely not. No, get us with what little

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time I happened to myself at night. I don't want

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to watch kids die.

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Speaker 2: I think it's like a three hour movie due as

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long as fuck.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a far cry from Diners Drives and hey,

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Triple D, I know you do.

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Speaker 2: We're Triple D House. Absolutely so. Enter a twelve year

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old street urchin named Lyon. He was having a blast.

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He was a scrappy kid. And on July twenty seventh,

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as the riots got crazy and no one was really

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paying attention to anything, he spotted on the streets of

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eighteen thirty Paris a like a vendor cart, you know,

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like a hot donk cart or whatever, loaded with candy

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with bond bonds. There was a huge riot going on

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right next to it.

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Speaker 3: The original candy van.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, the vendor was watching. Yeah, but he he doesn't

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get candy van. The vendor was watching what was going on,

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so he just steals everything out of the vendor cart.

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It's just like fuck, yeah, what a haul, free candy,

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let's go. The vendor eventually sees him stealing it, sees

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him running away with his whole cart or everything in

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his cart that's his livelihood literally, yeah, and starts chasing

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him through the crowded streets, shouting thief, thief, thief. Leon

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is like, oh shit, this guy's gonna track me down.

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So he climbs.

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Speaker 1: We hold on, does he put all the candy in

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a bag or something?

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00:16:31,519 --> 00:16:33,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, he got like two bags of candy, you know,

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like just imagine.

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Speaker 1: Like he's not pushing the cart.

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Speaker 2: No, no, no, he's got like bags of candy.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 2: He climbs a light post, a lamp post, and the

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vendor can't follow, and the vendors just at the bottom

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screaming like give me back my fucking candy, and the

388
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kids just like no Leon. Then all Leon's friends like

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00:16:51,399 --> 00:16:53,639
follow him. They're like, oh, that's so funny, Like Leon

390
00:16:53,759 --> 00:16:56,000
Jack stole a bunch of candies. That's hilarious. And the

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vendor's next to him, and he's like yelling up at them. Leon,

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in order to I guess, just make enough of a

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mess that he can run away, starts throwing the free

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candy to all the kids beneath them. Word gets out.

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Hundreds of children show up because free candies being tossed

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from a lamp post.

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Speaker 1: It's impressive how fast word got around.

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Speaker 2: And there's not much else going on other than the riot. Yeah,

399
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:31,799
so other street urchins join in and they start being

400
00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,920
like oh yeah, the police are busy. We should just

401
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:40,640
start robbing every every vendor cart that looks delicious and

402
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,480
the bonbon riots so breakout, smashing grabs the tails.

403
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Speaker 3: Oldest time.

404
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,640
Speaker 1: I was waiting to figure out how in the world

405
00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:50,839
this kid made history. This makes sense.

406
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:56,880
Speaker 2: The riots breakout because as he's on the top of

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the lamp post, adults who are already robbed up by

408
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:04,039
the revolution mistook the frenzy for a protest breaking out.

409
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So this kid's throwing candy. All the other kids are

410
00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:10,960
going insane. The guy, the vander cart whatever guy is

411
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:14,680
screaming at him, please give me my candy back. You're

412
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:19,319
a thief, he shouts down at him. He's shouting from

413
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the lamp post. Take the sweites, fight the greedy.

414
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Speaker 3: So he's just like, yeah, never let a good ride

415
00:18:24,519 --> 00:18:28,000
go away, right, He's he turns his literal just candy

416
00:18:28,039 --> 00:18:31,599
theft into a statement against the crown, even though he

417
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just stole it from another.

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Speaker 2: Working class vendor card guy. Everyone shows up, Everyone mistakes

419
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,359
the group of kids for a protest, a riot breaks out,

420
00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:46,079
everything starts getting robbed. Workers and students joined the mob

421
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start putting up barricades around the area because his twelve

422
00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:53,799
year old boy is on a lamp post throwing candy.

423
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Speaker 4: I'm impressed he gathered all the kids in the city together.

424
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He even got a tagline like in the middle of

425
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all the chaos.

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Speaker 2: Take the sweets, fight the greedy.

427
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:05,079
Speaker 1: Yeah.

428
00:19:05,119 --> 00:19:08,039
Speaker 3: Wait, and they set it up like their own autonomy zone,

429
00:19:08,079 --> 00:19:09,160
like a Seattle and Portland.

430
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:13,160
Speaker 2: Yes, they immediately created a chaz. They put up barricades

431
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,839
around all the streets and it became walled off from

432
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the troops.

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Speaker 1: So they basically just got to rip everything out of

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all the carts.

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00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,880
Speaker 2: Yes, and then they started robbing all the cards.

436
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:21,200
Speaker 1: Yeah.

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00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:26,720
Speaker 2: Then of course troops have to be deployed to put

438
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down the now riot because his child stole candy. Fortunately,

439
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:39,920
no one died. However, several people were mercilessly beaten, both

440
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troops and rioters.

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Speaker 3: Right.

442
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 2: It took several days to put that down, and it

443
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:54,200
more or less contributed to the King of France's abdication. Wow,

444
00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:55,759
this kid.

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Speaker 3: Single handedly brought down the crown, brought down the crowd

446
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by stealing the can because he was a little.

447
00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 2: It's just like I was some candy.

448
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Speaker 1: What happened to him?

449
00:20:04,519 --> 00:20:05,720
Speaker 2: I don't know if you know this, but the French

450
00:20:05,799 --> 00:20:09,599
riot over everything, like if there's a firefight, Like you

451
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,400
remember a couple of weeks ago, and not a couple

452
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,640
weeks ago, a couple years ago, there was like a

453
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firefighters strike potentially in Austin where they were like wanted

454
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:17,920
more pay and the union was gonna go and strike

455
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,440
whatever blah blah blah, and they just kind of did

456
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:24,559
it and they lobbied and you know whatever they did American.

457
00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:26,279
Speaker 3: Dude, firefighters should only be volunteers.

458
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:29,279
Speaker 2: And when that happens in France, and it happens in

459
00:20:29,279 --> 00:20:33,240
France all the time, they riot immediately, there's no protests,

460
00:20:33,279 --> 00:20:35,559
there's no they just start breaking shit. The firefighters go

461
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out in the street.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just classic photos of people at a cafe

463
00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,160
smoking zigs, having coffee and there's just fires in the

464
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back because there's another clients.

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Speaker 1: I feel like they just kind of overreact.

466
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Speaker 2: Well that's just that's just what they do. It's it's

467
00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:48,720
like sport for them.

468
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,279
Speaker 1: No, No, but throughout history they just kind of overreact.

469
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:55,279
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's two people in France, those who are apathetic

470
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and those that care too much.

471
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Speaker 2: Yeah, there's no one.

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Speaker 3: Between, nothing in between. There's no one who's there's no

473
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:01,400
normal people in France.

474
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,839
Speaker 2: No, it's either like the most yeah, the most apathetic

475
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,920
people you ever seen, who could watch someone die and

476
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:09,640
they're just like Levy, I don't think he's life. Don't

477
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:10,680
once my coffee.

478
00:21:10,799 --> 00:21:12,079
Speaker 3: They read the Stranger Wants.

479
00:21:12,519 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good I feel like that's the perfect

480
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:20,680
representation of that. Half of France is Albert KMU. But yeah,

481
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,720
this kid helped bring down the king because he wanted

482
00:21:23,839 --> 00:21:29,000
to have a dad At cookie, as Rory calls them.

483
00:21:29,279 --> 00:21:33,559
Speaker 4: Yeah, so Dan, like I don't know, two years ago,

484
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:37,319
Rob bought himself some like some of those shitty Keebler

485
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,319
Elf cookies yea, which I don't eat beause they taste

486
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:42,079
like cardboard and.

487
00:21:41,839 --> 00:21:44,519
Speaker 3: The fudge ones Yeah, fudge and M and M.

488
00:21:44,599 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: Yeah they're gross.

489
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,519
Speaker 4: And Rob had him in the pantry and Rory went

490
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:50,640
in and tried to get one and I said, and

491
00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:51,440
you can't eat that.

492
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 1: That's a dad At cookie. And now any.

493
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:58,359
Speaker 4: Sort of shitty prepackaged cookie, be it Keebler or Oreo

494
00:21:58,559 --> 00:22:00,759
or whatever it is, is still just call the dat

495
00:22:00,759 --> 00:22:01,440
at cookie.

496
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 3: Boy, you're really handicapping this kid.

497
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 2: Dan likes to shit on my diet constantly.

498
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:11,079
Speaker 4: Well, Rob just likes to have a little sweet treat

499
00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,440
every night one most will go have a little keebler

500
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,039
elf cookie.

501
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 2: Not eating like a sleeve of oreos.

502
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 1: No, he literally has one.

503
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,039
Speaker 2: Are you familiar with Rob's bathroom habits or does he

504
00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:23,119
only keep it for work?

505
00:22:23,839 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 1: How he's in there for like forty five minutes.

506
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,799
Speaker 3: He poops at least four times at work every day.

507
00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,119
Speaker 2: No, it's absurd, it's insane. It's healthy.

508
00:22:30,279 --> 00:22:32,200
Speaker 1: No one poops more than you. Maybe our dogs.

509
00:22:32,359 --> 00:22:35,680
Speaker 3: I have Crohn's disease, I still don't poop as much

510
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:36,039
as you do.

511
00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 2: It's healthy. So that's a fucking grease tunnel.

512
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:42,160
Speaker 4: No, it's really annoying, especially when I'm home alone with

513
00:22:42,200 --> 00:22:44,799
people who I can barely hold a conversation with. And

514
00:22:44,799 --> 00:22:47,079
then he comes home and within five minutes goes and

515
00:22:47,079 --> 00:22:51,920
sits on the toilet. Did you tell him about your

516
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,000
toilet escapades at the hospital?

517
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:57,079
Speaker 2: What? How? I took a big dump asy as I

518
00:22:57,119 --> 00:22:59,880
got there. Yeah, so it was poop time. That was poop.

519
00:23:00,599 --> 00:23:02,240
Speaker 3: Does your body retain any nutrition?

520
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:03,839
Speaker 2: A great question.

521
00:23:04,079 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: Well, you don't eat fruit or vegetables, so probably not.

522
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,119
Speaker 3: I eat no fiber day.

523
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,480
Speaker 2: What are you talking about? Barely you put a thing

524
00:23:11,519 --> 00:23:12,960
of cauliflower in the oven. I eat it.

525
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,640
Speaker 3: It's gonna come out easier if you put some fiber

526
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:15,119
in that diet.

527
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,039
Speaker 2: I don't even know.

528
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,519
Speaker 1: No, then he'd just be there more.

529
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it'll be more efficient, you know.

530
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:21,519
Speaker 2: Quick.

531
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,119
Speaker 3: I'll still sit on the he's not struggling.

532
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,880
Speaker 2: I'm not leaving the toilet after fire scrollings A waste

533
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,000
of time, he is.

534
00:23:27,279 --> 00:23:29,359
Speaker 4: I can hear him, you know, in the mornings. I

535
00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:32,039
hear him in there watching, or he'll set an alarm.

536
00:23:32,319 --> 00:23:34,440
He falls asleep on the toilet and the alarm goes

537
00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:36,400
off because he likes to just sit in there.

538
00:23:36,759 --> 00:23:38,400
Speaker 1: Well, I get everybody away from today.

539
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,680
Speaker 3: It's a good toilet. Naps a good nap. He naps

540
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:41,799
in the car outside of work.

541
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 1: Sometimes he could sleep in the front yard.

542
00:23:45,279 --> 00:23:47,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't like to sleep in it here. It's

543
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:48,119
too cold.

544
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am not cold in here.

545
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,640
Speaker 2: Not today. It's not usually like this, Okay. It's usually

546
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:57,519
fucking freezing, a little toasty. Yeah, No, it's usually on

547
00:23:57,599 --> 00:23:59,039
the weekdays it's fucking freezing.

548
00:23:59,079 --> 00:24:01,799
Speaker 3: I find it just right now, it's horrible goldilocks here.

549
00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:05,759
Speaker 2: You're nipping out, That's what I say. Just Dan's nips

550
00:24:05,799 --> 00:24:09,359
on display constantly. Pop Top, Yeah, pop Top. Dan was

551
00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:12,200
supposed to pop Top for this show. Oh really, Because

552
00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,359
a first birthday, he promised the people that he would

553
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:14,880
pop top.

554
00:24:15,319 --> 00:24:18,519
Speaker 3: Injured in my shoulder. I can't. Oh, you can't take

555
00:24:18,519 --> 00:24:20,119
the shirt off. It'll hurt my shoulder more.

556
00:24:21,599 --> 00:24:23,279
Speaker 1: Are you gonna take your shirt off when you get home?

557
00:24:24,839 --> 00:24:25,000
Speaker 2: Nah?

558
00:24:25,079 --> 00:24:27,880
Speaker 3: I just kind of put another shirt on, but you

559
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:28,240
need to.

560
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:32,480
Speaker 2: You haven't cut yet either. We gotta get you real dehydrated.

561
00:24:32,519 --> 00:24:33,119
Speaker 3: I'm gonna cut.

562
00:24:33,279 --> 00:24:36,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, we gotta get you like cut. And then the

563
00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:40,640
night before camp, we shoot. Just drink half a fucking

564
00:24:41,519 --> 00:24:43,319
fit the vodka. Yeah, you know what I mean, just

565
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:45,680
like real dehydrated. Everything's just written.

566
00:24:45,799 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 3: Just go as hard as I did Friday night for

567
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:47,960
my birthday?

568
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, how was that?

569
00:24:49,039 --> 00:24:49,480
Speaker 3: It was good?

570
00:24:49,559 --> 00:24:50,400
Speaker 1: Did you go really hard?

571
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:51,440
Speaker 3: Watermelon marks?

572
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:55,680
Speaker 2: Dude, those watermelon marks. My favorite part, my favorite of

573
00:24:55,799 --> 00:24:59,039
your birthday parties was when Bach was there and he

574
00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:02,279
was just like, yeah, Lindsay got a new job that

575
00:25:02,319 --> 00:25:04,839
pays her a ton of money at Walmart, so like

576
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:05,880
corporate Walmart.

577
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 3: Audience doesn't know who this man is.

578
00:25:07,319 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fine. He's former TFF employee.

579
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,279
Speaker 3: That's fine. I also don't think I invited them.

580
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,039
Speaker 2: Probably not. And he goes like, hey, just want to

581
00:25:13,039 --> 00:25:15,400
meet me here, and uh yeah, he just put he

582
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,279
just paid for my drinks all night. It was your birthday,

583
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,759
and I ran it up. I ran it up real

584
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:22,519
fucking good.

585
00:25:22,799 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 4: Yeah I remember that because the next day Lindsay texted

586
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,359
me and was like, fucking Rob.

587
00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:31,319
Speaker 3: That's the kind of guy Rob is.

588
00:25:32,039 --> 00:25:34,319
Speaker 2: If you give me an open bar, he'll take advantage.

589
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,079
I will absolutely do it. All right, So our next

590
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:41,799
child and his mischief takes place during the Salem witch Trials?

591
00:25:43,759 --> 00:25:44,960
Speaker 3: Is it the two females?

592
00:25:45,119 --> 00:25:48,799
Speaker 2: No? No, no, it's not that we excluded history's worst monsters. Okay,

593
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,519
so there's no like boy Kings, there's no like Jeoffrey's

594
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,880
just like lighting peasants on.

595
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 3: But those like two teenage bitches that got twenty people killed.

596
00:25:57,559 --> 00:26:00,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think they were teenagers. I think they

597
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:03,160
were like fourteen thirteen. Oh yeah, I think you're right. Yeah.

598
00:26:03,519 --> 00:26:06,039
Speaker 3: Uh, that's how they say the witch child started. His

599
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,720
two girls claim they were insane. Just start calling everyone witches.

600
00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:13,519
Speaker 1: Perfect, Yeah, I see little teenage girls suck.

601
00:26:14,759 --> 00:26:17,640
Speaker 2: Oh they did it. They were they were absolute bitches.

602
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, and god, we got an old man crushed with rocks?

603
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,559
Speaker 2: Is how they killed one person?

604
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:23,880
Speaker 1: That sucks?

605
00:26:24,039 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 2: They put it's called was it called just crushing?

606
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:26,680
Speaker 3: Yeah?

607
00:26:27,279 --> 00:26:29,880
Speaker 2: You put a rock on someone and then you're like,

608
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,680
are you a witch? And they're like, no, sill, you

609
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:36,920
put another rock on them, Sure, you're not a witch.

610
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,640
And they just keep doing that and the old man

611
00:26:38,759 --> 00:26:40,880
was like, I don't give a shit, I'm not a witch.

612
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,559
Fuck you. And then they just kept putting rocks on them.

613
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:47,240
Speaker 1: So how do you deduce if they're a witch they survive?

614
00:26:47,759 --> 00:26:49,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, if he had survived all those rocks, he would

615
00:26:49,799 --> 00:26:50,279
have been a witch.

616
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:52,119
Speaker 1: Was there like a max number of rocks?

617
00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 2: No, you just keep going. But now that he's dead,

618
00:26:54,519 --> 00:26:58,079
do they just admit oh shit, like, oh he clearly.

619
00:26:57,799 --> 00:27:00,359
Speaker 4: Was not well, didn't They also just like talk people

620
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:02,960
in the water and if you didn't drown, that's a

621
00:27:03,039 --> 00:27:04,640
money python bit.

622
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,759
Speaker 2: It is true, but that is from Moneypothoonal was it?

623
00:27:07,799 --> 00:27:08,880
Speaker 1: I've never seen moneypathon?

624
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,640
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it is a real thing. Though. If you

625
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,119
throw them in the water and they float, that's the

626
00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:13,359
water rejecting them.

627
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,279
Speaker 4: Because they're a witch. Yes, because they're so it's like

628
00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:19,079
you're only not. They only accept you if you die

629
00:27:19,759 --> 00:27:20,160
and drown.

630
00:27:20,279 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you drown, they're like, oh, well worked out.

631
00:27:22,720 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, she wasn't good to her, she didn't lose, she

632
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,559
isn't heaven. Now it works, Yeah, so I think it's

633
00:27:28,559 --> 00:27:31,319
a flawed system. So during during the Salem With Trials,

634
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,759
the Puritan community was of course obsessed with the devil

635
00:27:34,799 --> 00:27:38,960
and the Devil's everywhere, demons are everywhere, sin is everywhere,

636
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,119
and uh. Children in Puritan.

637
00:27:41,799 --> 00:27:46,160
Speaker 2: Communities were expected to be basically like many adults like.

638
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:51,759
They were supposed to be quiet, obedient, basically like as

639
00:27:51,759 --> 00:27:56,160
responsible as an adult more or less. Obviously, that doesn't

640
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,119
really fly with actual little boys. Yeah.

641
00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, good luck with that.

642
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:03,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, well they have their methods, mostly violence.

643
00:28:03,759 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 2: Ye, beating the ship out of them always helpful. So

644
00:28:08,319 --> 00:28:13,200
twelve year old named Ezekiel was a farmer's son, and

645
00:28:13,319 --> 00:28:16,759
he was He was a mischievous boy, like to have

646
00:28:16,799 --> 00:28:18,839
some fun, didn't like to do his chores.

647
00:28:21,599 --> 00:28:26,839
Speaker 3: Ezekiel, get back to that isjah some biblical real punch.

648
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're lying immune, I believe you claimed the other

649
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:32,359
day I am in one of the shows.

650
00:28:32,359 --> 00:28:33,839
Speaker 3: I believe dragon immune as well.

651
00:28:34,039 --> 00:28:35,839
Speaker 2: Why are you How could you be dragging? Because Daniel

652
00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:40,200
also fought a dragon? Did he? Yeah, I remember that one.

653
00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,319
Speaker 1: I definitely don't remember that one.

654
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,400
Speaker 3: Well, you don't read the Bible, so she grew.

655
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:48,480
Speaker 1: Up reading the Bible way more than more Bible. I

656
00:28:48,519 --> 00:28:49,200
don't doubt it.

657
00:28:50,039 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 2: He's not Catholic.

658
00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:52,680
Speaker 4: When I was in sixth grade, we had to memorize

659
00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:56,720
the entire Book of Philippians and just recited it.

660
00:28:56,799 --> 00:29:01,559
Speaker 3: I entered the clergy. So when, don't worry about it?

661
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:04,559
Speaker 2: When did you that? The Naval Academy said.

662
00:29:04,359 --> 00:29:07,559
Speaker 3: No, No, dude, twenty nineteen, it was dark. What I

663
00:29:07,599 --> 00:29:09,000
need a roof over my head?

664
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:10,559
Speaker 2: What did you do?

665
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:11,759
Speaker 3: Don't worry about it?

666
00:29:12,200 --> 00:29:13,480
Speaker 2: Did you lie and say you want to be a

667
00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:14,279
priest for like a week.

668
00:29:14,319 --> 00:29:16,640
Speaker 3: I'm about to be an ordained minister to marry my

669
00:29:16,799 --> 00:29:19,960
uh my sister, So yeah, I'm gonna wear the collar.

670
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:22,279
I want to enter my name to be the next

671
00:29:22,279 --> 00:29:23,960
pope once Leo's dead.

672
00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,759
Speaker 2: Pope Dan, any any Catholic is eligible technically to be

673
00:29:27,799 --> 00:29:31,079
the pope. That's legitimately true.

674
00:29:31,279 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 4: But like I assume you have to hold a position

675
00:29:34,759 --> 00:29:37,000
in the church. No, it could just be Pope Rob yep.

676
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 3: Well, no, I'd have taken you new You have to

677
00:29:39,519 --> 00:29:42,839
pick kind of like Daniel, I could be Pope Daniel.

678
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

679
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 3: Did the Holy Spirit enter you? No?

680
00:29:45,839 --> 00:29:47,799
Speaker 2: Okay, are you special?

681
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 1: No?

682
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:50,319
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, did he enter you? He entered me

683
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:51,720
when confirmation?

684
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,039
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay with me too.

685
00:29:53,079 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: Then, my gosh, Catholics are so annoying.

686
00:29:55,759 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 2: She's not a fan.

687
00:29:57,359 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 3: Uh you mean the best you guys are just fucking

688
00:30:01,319 --> 00:30:03,039
dollar store versions of us.

689
00:30:03,599 --> 00:30:07,079
Speaker 4: Oh, tell me one more time about how my pastor's

690
00:30:07,079 --> 00:30:07,960
wearing blue jeans.

691
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, she doesn't like playing guitars as well.

692
00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:12,039
Speaker 2: She doesn't like that joke at all.

693
00:30:12,119 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 3: Does he roll in on a skateboard?

694
00:30:14,039 --> 00:30:16,799
Speaker 2: He lee's Actually, my gosh, hate kids.

695
00:30:17,519 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: Whatever.

696
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 4: All the Catholic masses I've been to are really weird.

697
00:30:21,519 --> 00:30:23,240
They like squirt water in your face.

698
00:30:23,599 --> 00:30:24,519
Speaker 3: It's supposed to scare you.

699
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the whole point. It did.

700
00:30:26,519 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: And they swing around that thing with the incense.

701
00:30:29,759 --> 00:30:32,000
Speaker 2: She went to the first I don't know that was

702
00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:33,920
your first Catholic Mass, but the first one I took

703
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:36,200
you to you at my church was Christmas.

704
00:30:37,319 --> 00:30:39,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think they flung water in for stuff.

705
00:30:39,839 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 3: That's extra stuff stuff going on respect for the Lord,

706
00:30:44,079 --> 00:30:45,440
which I guess your church does not.

707
00:30:46,519 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 2: What's trip mall? You guys in pretty next to a

708
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,920
jiu jitsu and.

709
00:30:51,279 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Dan, do you even go to mass ever?

710
00:30:54,799 --> 00:30:57,799
Speaker 3: No, dude, it's a cultural thing. You want to get it.

711
00:30:58,759 --> 00:31:01,599
Speaker 1: I know that's what's so annoying is it's just a

712
00:31:01,599 --> 00:31:03,359
cultural thing, but you never go.

713
00:31:04,519 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 2: I did my time.

714
00:31:05,839 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was an altar boy.

715
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,319
Speaker 2: I'm going to three masses a week.

716
00:31:08,799 --> 00:31:09,759
Speaker 1: You were an ultra boy too.

717
00:31:09,920 --> 00:31:10,119
Speaker 3: Yeah.

718
00:31:10,519 --> 00:31:14,079
Speaker 2: We just have to be really really sorry before I die. Yeah.

719
00:31:14,119 --> 00:31:15,519
Dan used to do mafia funerals.

720
00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:19,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, they paid the best. M I'd be in like

721
00:31:19,599 --> 00:31:22,519
sixth grade, making a hundred bucks a funeral. I loved

722
00:31:22,559 --> 00:31:26,960
when Gangster's dadad.

723
00:31:25,160 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 1: I really don't know what to say to any of this.

724
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,799
Speaker 2: An Italian guy gets off, You do his funeral.

725
00:31:29,519 --> 00:31:30,279
Speaker 3: You make a lot more money.

726
00:31:30,319 --> 00:31:31,319
Speaker 1: To you have mob funerals?

727
00:31:31,359 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 2: No, no, no, we're Irish German. Then a mob over there.

728
00:31:35,519 --> 00:31:36,799
Speaker 1: I thought the mafia was.

729
00:31:37,519 --> 00:31:40,039
Speaker 3: Yeah, rampant in Saint Louis and it was during the

730
00:31:40,079 --> 00:31:41,960
weekday so I could get out of class.

731
00:31:42,039 --> 00:31:43,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was the best part about doing funerals.

732
00:31:43,759 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 1: Did you go to Catholic school took through eight.

733
00:31:47,119 --> 00:31:48,799
Speaker 2: Wow he went to public high school?

734
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, couldn't couldn't hang Oh god, I wanted to go

735
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:55,119
to public high school? Was my choice?

736
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:55,720
Speaker 1: Oh really?

737
00:31:56,319 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 2: Uh yeah? What is it?

738
00:31:57,519 --> 00:31:59,319
Speaker 3: School choice now here in Texas. I would have chose

739
00:31:59,359 --> 00:32:00,240
to go to the public school.

740
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 2: Dude, wouldn't you have gone? Would you have gone to

741
00:32:03,359 --> 00:32:05,279
Rob mclinnis High School? If you went Catholic?

742
00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:08,279
Speaker 3: He went to Saint Jose Prep, which is where one

743
00:32:08,279 --> 00:32:09,960
of my the best friends who actually listens to the

744
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:13,039
show shout out, Mike Ponchatti played football at.

745
00:32:13,359 --> 00:32:14,839
Speaker 2: Then he went to Penn Would you have gone to

746
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,640
Saint Joe's Prep?

747
00:32:16,599 --> 00:32:20,039
Speaker 3: No, I would have went to either Cardinal O'Hare or Malvern.

748
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,319
Speaker 2: I've heard of Cardinal O'Hare.

749
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:22,480
Speaker 3: Yeah that's pretend Donna.

750
00:32:22,559 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 2: He was, oh nice, Yeah, yeah, there you go. Should

751
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,519
have done it, dude, could have could have had that

752
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,279
Catholic school.

753
00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,319
Speaker 3: Or if I wanted to be all boys with Malvern,

754
00:32:32,319 --> 00:32:34,319
I could have went to Bonner as well, which is

755
00:32:34,359 --> 00:32:36,319
where they filmed Silver Line's Playbook.

756
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:37,680
Speaker 2: At the high school.

757
00:32:37,759 --> 00:32:41,880
Speaker 3: The high school, that's uh Bonner, Okay, Bonner Prandi, And

758
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:44,920
then that's where I guess Bradley Cooper teaches in the movie.

759
00:32:45,599 --> 00:32:47,680
Speaker 2: Hmmm, I don't remember him being a teacher in that movie,

760
00:32:48,599 --> 00:32:50,680
fair enough. I just knew he was supposed to be

761
00:32:50,799 --> 00:32:52,960
ex fat, and I was like, you've never looked fat

762
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:53,359
at day.

763
00:32:53,240 --> 00:32:55,079
Speaker 1: In your life running around in his trash bag.

764
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, and hoodie and everything.

765
00:32:56,559 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 3: And to Shaun Jackson Jersey, oh.

766
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:05,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, Biggie Eagles movie. So the town of Salem is

767
00:33:05,079 --> 00:33:08,480
on edge because the devil's everywhere. And also they're getting

768
00:33:08,519 --> 00:33:09,799
rated by Indians all the time.

769
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: Indigenous peoples, Yes.

770
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:16,000
Speaker 2: Indigenous peoples, as you said in the sketchy recorded before

771
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:20,799
this show started. Brilliant work, Thank you so much. So yeah,

772
00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:23,799
back at this time, some naked people might run into

773
00:33:23,839 --> 00:33:25,039
your village and kill a few people.

774
00:33:26,039 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 3: Conquered, not stolen.

775
00:33:27,319 --> 00:33:30,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, it just happens. So they're a little worried. Basically

776
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,279
everyone in the village, every male in the village is

777
00:33:34,319 --> 00:33:37,440
part of the militia, like everyone's in it. So they

778
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:43,839
all they do militia drills regularly. Households like ezekiels have that.

779
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,920
Would you feel safe with a gun in the house.

780
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,640
Speaker 1: No, what, I don't like guns.

781
00:33:48,799 --> 00:33:51,799
Speaker 3: You just don't think Rob could handle it. I understand, well,

782
00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:53,680
I've seen Rob shoot the guns.

783
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 4: But I also think that a kid could go and

784
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,240
play with it and hurt somebody or themselves.

785
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:00,960
Speaker 2: Yeah. Not if you tell them, hey, I'm putting this

786
00:34:01,079 --> 00:34:02,680
on the kitchen counter, don't touch it.

787
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:04,759
Speaker 3: They gotta respect it.

788
00:34:04,839 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally.

789
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:09,519
Speaker 3: We'll listen to every time with Rory and Finn. Yeah, yeah, hey, guys,

790
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:11,119
don't touch this.

791
00:34:12,079 --> 00:34:14,280
Speaker 4: I just didn't grow up in a typical Texas house

792
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:17,679
with guns, so I'm just not used to it.

793
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,559
Speaker 2: No, you grew up in the sort of Texas house

794
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:20,639
that doesn't need guns.

795
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 1: That's fair.

796
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:24,199
Speaker 4: But I have been to the shooting range once, thank

797
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,039
you very much. I'm an okay shot, how they go,

798
00:34:27,519 --> 00:34:29,199
I'm an okay shot. But it kind of freaked me

799
00:34:29,199 --> 00:34:31,599
out because I was like, it was, you know, my

800
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:33,760
intrusive thoughts that all I had to do was turn

801
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,639
slightly to the right and I could just kill people

802
00:34:35,679 --> 00:34:36,039
next to me.

803
00:34:36,559 --> 00:34:38,519
Speaker 3: Oh see, that's never entered my head.

804
00:34:38,519 --> 00:34:39,840
Speaker 2: Has never once occurred to me.

805
00:34:40,039 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 3: No, I'm always thinking guns safety.

806
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,360
Speaker 2: Yeah. The last the last guns I shot were World

807
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,199
War Two guns. At no point holding the Thompson submachine

808
00:34:48,199 --> 00:34:49,079
gun was I was I.

809
00:34:49,079 --> 00:34:55,199
Speaker 3: Like, maybe can kind of see how this story is

810
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:56,480
going to play out for YouTube.

811
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,199
Speaker 2: Also, the last time I shot guns, if I had

812
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,079
turned on anyone I be, it would have been ridly

813
00:35:01,119 --> 00:35:02,880
with a thousand bullets before. Yep.

814
00:35:03,079 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's that always sunny episode where they go to

815
00:35:06,039 --> 00:35:08,679
a to buy a gun at the gun show. At

816
00:35:08,679 --> 00:35:10,320
the gun show and they turned the gun on the

817
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:11,840
guy and everyone around them.

818
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 2: Just they just like it like pans out and there's

819
00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,320
just like a fucking Mexican standoff of it was like

820
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:17,159
a thousand I see.

821
00:35:17,159 --> 00:35:20,880
Speaker 3: Suddenly everyone with a gun actually made this place safer.

822
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:28,519
Speaker 2: So you wouldn't feel safe with a gun in the house. No, well,

823
00:35:28,559 --> 00:35:30,840
these people quite a few of them. Well they all

824
00:35:30,840 --> 00:35:31,639
had guns in the house.

825
00:35:31,679 --> 00:35:33,599
Speaker 4: Okay, Well, first of all, it would be very different.

826
00:35:33,599 --> 00:35:35,880
And if I lived in this time period where you

827
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,880
literally need a gun, need the protection, or you're probably

828
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:39,880
just gonna get slaughtered.

829
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:40,920
Speaker 3: Oh need a gun now too.

830
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,239
Speaker 2: Well, Ezekiel everyone had a gun in the house, but

831
00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:46,119
Ezekiel's house was one of the houses in the town

832
00:35:46,599 --> 00:35:53,119
that also had a cannon. I'm sorry, what was he?

833
00:35:53,159 --> 00:35:53,599
Speaker 3: A ka?

834
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:57,719
Speaker 2: Yeah right, this is a very Ka esque story.

835
00:35:57,880 --> 00:36:00,760
Speaker 3: Kappa Alpha Order, they always have cannons their front yard.

836
00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:03,519
Speaker 2: Really, you don't remember the cannon in the front yard.

837
00:36:03,679 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: I went to the k approximately never, so.

838
00:36:06,039 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 2: That cannon has a fun story, didn't Mike has set

839
00:36:10,039 --> 00:36:11,719
it off. Micah might have been one of the people

840
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:14,159
that set it off. Well, one day. It was the

841
00:36:14,239 --> 00:36:16,000
year before I was in school. Mike was a little

842
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:16,599
older than us.

843
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:20,519
Speaker 3: They were shit faced, and they were like, dude, just

844
00:36:20,599 --> 00:36:24,119
cannon work and they just stop jammed it to the

845
00:36:24,199 --> 00:36:26,559
brim with fireworks, which is not how you're supposed to

846
00:36:26,599 --> 00:36:29,800
do a canon, idiots, and then lit it and it

847
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,320
you know how a canon's.

848
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 2: Like on wheels or whatever. Yeah, it exploded off of

849
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:37,599
its base and flew through an apartment complex across the street.

850
00:36:38,519 --> 00:36:40,239
Speaker 3: I'm sorry you didn't have fun in college.

851
00:36:40,639 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. Well, kay, it was kind of far away.

852
00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 2: Yes, it was on the other side of camp. Yeah,

853
00:36:46,039 --> 00:36:46,800
you don't want to walk.

854
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 4: I wasn't trying to cross that busy street. There were

855
00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:50,519
other frat houses.

856
00:36:50,199 --> 00:36:50,719
Speaker 1: To party at.

857
00:36:50,840 --> 00:36:51,039
Speaker 2: Yeah.

858
00:36:51,079 --> 00:36:53,199
Speaker 3: Their spiritual leader is Robert E. Lee.

859
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,039
Speaker 1: Really yeah, spiritually you weren't. You were not a ka.

860
00:36:58,400 --> 00:36:59,960
Speaker 2: No, it's a Fiji. He's got the frat.

861
00:37:00,159 --> 00:37:02,280
Speaker 1: Ah, that's right. Who could forget Yeah.

862
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 3: Five gamma delta.

863
00:37:06,159 --> 00:37:09,039
Speaker 2: So this canon that they owned was about four feet long,

864
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,039
and obviously they had powder and shotford as well.

865
00:37:12,199 --> 00:37:13,760
Speaker 1: Is it just in the living room, No, it's like

866
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:14,519
in the barn.

867
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 2: It's in the garage. Okay, So to speak on Sunday,

868
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:20,920
Ezekiel was stuck at home while the rest of town

869
00:37:21,079 --> 00:37:24,239
was at church for and Protestant church, these Protestant Church.

870
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:26,079
The last hours and hours he was stuck at home

871
00:37:26,119 --> 00:37:30,400
doing chores. But he was bored and uh, other kids

872
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,679
were out doing chores too. So he grabs a couple

873
00:37:32,639 --> 00:37:36,280
of friends and he's like, do you guys want to

874
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:40,280
play with the canon? Does that sound like fun? This

875
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,880
seems pretty sweet.

876
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,559
Speaker 1: This is really giving little rob. Yeah, you would so

877
00:37:45,679 --> 00:37:45,920
do this.

878
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:46,719
Speaker 2: Play with the cannon.

879
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, you would do this.

880
00:37:48,559 --> 00:37:51,960
Speaker 3: Now that's why when people always bitch about the Second Amendment.

881
00:37:52,039 --> 00:37:54,719
Now they're like, oh, the you know founding fathers didn't

882
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:58,559
have this in mind when they wrote the you know, Constitution,

883
00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:00,840
but they literally had cannons.

884
00:38:01,079 --> 00:38:03,679
Speaker 2: Every person had a cannon. If you lived on the frontier,

885
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,760
there were cannons. People had owned private cannons, like through

886
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:07,400
the Civil War.

887
00:38:07,679 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 1: I literally never.

888
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 2: Knew that that people owned cannons.

889
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 4: No, I've never thought about cannons outside of like a

890
00:38:14,559 --> 00:38:15,800
battlefield or like.

891
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,639
Speaker 1: You know, watching the Pirates of the Caribbean.

892
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I don't know, No people owned cannons.

893
00:38:20,079 --> 00:38:22,639
Speaker 1: It was just guns and there was there's.

894
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 3: A range, right, So this cannon is a smaller cannon.

895
00:38:25,719 --> 00:38:27,719
It's not it's not a Pirates of the Caribbean like

896
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:30,599
giant cannon, but it is still a fucking canon. It's

897
00:38:31,039 --> 00:38:32,159
still landscape pie.

898
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:32,599
Speaker 2: Yeah.

899
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:35,679
Speaker 3: Yeah, you just have it in your yard really sets

900
00:38:35,719 --> 00:38:36,360
the tone.

901
00:38:36,599 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 4: I just find it so strange, Like when when do

902
00:38:39,519 --> 00:38:42,400
you have the time to like go and light it

903
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:43,800
and put the stuff in, and like.

904
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,519
Speaker 1: Who are you aiming it at the Indians? Okay?

905
00:38:46,559 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 2: When they so you hear. I don't know if Salem

906
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:51,760
was walled, but there were certainly defenses outside of it.

907
00:38:52,079 --> 00:38:54,519
And so if someone's like I saw Indians like out

908
00:38:54,679 --> 00:38:57,119
three fields away, you roll up the cannons to the

909
00:38:57,239 --> 00:38:59,960
edge of town, load them up. Everyone's got their muskets

910
00:39:00,119 --> 00:39:01,320
and you're just ready.

911
00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: That's fascinating. I feel like the older I get, the

912
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,480
more I just feel like I don't know shit about history.

913
00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:06,480
Speaker 2: Most people don't.

914
00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 3: You don't listen to this show. It's fine.

915
00:39:08,239 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's true.

916
00:39:09,079 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 4: I also literally don't listen to the show, so that

917
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,199
might help my cause it's a.

918
00:39:14,159 --> 00:39:16,880
Speaker 2: Good thing you don't because I'm constantly defending your honor.

919
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:18,400
Speaker 3: Rob's always talking.

920
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,199
Speaker 1: True, you're constantly bitching about.

921
00:39:20,039 --> 00:39:21,679
Speaker 3: Me, Dan, I never bitch about you.

922
00:39:21,639 --> 00:39:24,840
Speaker 4: Which is so funny because literally the only episode I

923
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:26,599
ever remember listening to was one of.

924
00:39:26,519 --> 00:39:29,039
Speaker 2: Your episodes, one of Dan's.

925
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:31,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it was so long. Go Chake was still

926
00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:31,679
on the show.

927
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds about right.

928
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,760
Speaker 3: The only person that caught her interest those little old

929
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:37,320
names was you.

930
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, I want to hear me.

931
00:39:38,599 --> 00:39:39,519
Speaker 1: I laughed a couple of times.

932
00:39:40,119 --> 00:39:42,159
Speaker 2: Oh good, with a ringing endorsement of.

933
00:39:42,159 --> 00:39:46,320
Speaker 4: The shown't bad, she laughed once or twice.

934
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:47,039
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.

935
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 2: Uh So the boys are like, fuck, yeah, let's play

936
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:52,920
this cannon. Let's do this. So they grab the cannon.

937
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,159
They roll it out into uh the front yard, I think,

938
00:39:57,119 --> 00:39:58,960
loaded with powder. I was like, what should we shoot?

939
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,639
Can't shot cannonball? That'll kill someone? So and when you

940
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,480
can't put like hard, hard things in there because that'll

941
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:07,519
shoot out like shrapnel that might hurt someones. What are

942
00:40:07,519 --> 00:40:09,199
you put in there? So they were like, oh, you'll

943
00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,360
be funny in true twelve year old fashioned.

944
00:40:12,039 --> 00:40:14,760
Speaker 3: Poop poop cannon.

945
00:40:14,880 --> 00:40:17,159
Speaker 2: Poop cannon that is.

946
00:40:17,199 --> 00:40:18,639
Speaker 1: So something only a boy would think of.

947
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go shoot poop. It's pretty cool.

948
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 4: Giving like Salem witch version of a bag of dog

949
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,199
shit on somebody's door step.

950
00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 2: It is very much the Salem witch trial version of

951
00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,119
lighting a big at dog shows the porch.

952
00:40:33,119 --> 00:40:36,599
Speaker 3: So they have thought like potato, right initially.

953
00:40:36,159 --> 00:40:37,159
Speaker 2: That'll kill you man.

954
00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:38,960
Speaker 1: I was going to say, clothes.

955
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:42,079
Speaker 3: Did you not make potato cannons with We had potato cannes.

956
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,960
Speaker 2: In the front in college. Yeah, yeah, we had potato canes.

957
00:40:44,039 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 3: I'm talking about eighth grade, ninth grade. Oh no, We

958
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,480
used him in the frottle and then we fired it

959
00:40:47,519 --> 00:40:51,760
into the highway. There was gosh d a what's up

960
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:52,400
ninety five?

961
00:40:53,159 --> 00:40:54,639
Speaker 2: One of the guys in our house who's like a

962
00:40:54,639 --> 00:40:58,079
brilliant like engineering student, but like in a very mcguiver way,

963
00:40:58,519 --> 00:41:01,000
he would make these potato cannons and then just like

964
00:41:01,079 --> 00:41:05,440
load full coat cans into them and shoot shoot that out.

965
00:41:06,199 --> 00:41:06,880
Speaker 3: That's dangerous.

966
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,880
Speaker 2: That's dangerous, although, but a regular potato would fuck you up.

967
00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,800
He would also he would hit us with like tennis balls,

968
00:41:12,599 --> 00:41:13,880
got like a tennis ball in there, and.

969
00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,360
Speaker 1: Just potatoes hard.

970
00:41:15,639 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, you take a potato to the dome at the

971
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,000
right range, or a potato gun, they might kill you.

972
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:27,199
Speaker 2: Not a gun, a cannon, a potato canned. So they

973
00:41:27,199 --> 00:41:30,960
makes everything in They aim it vaguely towards the town square.

974
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:35,440
Animal poop, cowshit, They aim it vaguely towards the town square,

975
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:37,320
being like it'll be funny to rain.

976
00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:41,440
Speaker 3: Maybe we've wrongly accused these women of starting the selling

977
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:41,960
witch trials.

978
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 2: It was these boys, because.

979
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,679
Speaker 3: They'll often say the ergat that they ingested is what

980
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:50,079
caused them all go crazy. So they ate rotting corn allegedly,

981
00:41:50,199 --> 00:41:52,760
and that rotting corn it had like mold on it,

982
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,880
and the mold was for all intents and purposes LSD.

983
00:41:57,079 --> 00:41:59,800
So they think they kind of were hallucinated the entire time.

984
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:05,960
But what if what if this poop canon is what

985
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,679
in their brains? Yeah, got things.

986
00:42:08,480 --> 00:42:10,639
Speaker 1: Going, well, we were poisoned the corn.

987
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 3: Mushrooms, right, you find in colfeeces.

988
00:42:14,679 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, is that psilocybin?

989
00:42:16,599 --> 00:42:19,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you grow it.

990
00:42:20,199 --> 00:42:21,079
Speaker 2: It just grows naturally.

991
00:42:21,159 --> 00:42:27,000
Speaker 3: Think it naturally grows in col fungus cow poo grows, so.

992
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 2: They shoot the cannon. Cowshit reins over the town square

993
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:38,800
right as church is getting out, and the whole town

994
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,840
freaks out for two reasons. One they hear a cannon,

995
00:42:42,199 --> 00:42:44,519
so they think Indians are coming and they're like, oh,

996
00:42:44,519 --> 00:42:47,920
my god, a bunch of naked people are about to

997
00:42:48,039 --> 00:42:54,280
murder us again. And two, it starts raining poop, which

998
00:42:54,360 --> 00:42:56,840
they don't take as a great sign from God.

999
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,800
Speaker 1: I was going to say, the hand of God is smiting.

1000
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:01,679
Speaker 3: Them, the opposite of manna.

1001
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:04,920
Speaker 2: They thought it was Satan's wrath or a witch's curse,

1002
00:43:05,039 --> 00:43:11,639
that it was raining cowshit and all hell breaks loose

1003
00:43:11,679 --> 00:43:12,320
in the town.

1004
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:15,199
Speaker 3: Or a witch is flying above and just dumping it

1005
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:16,000
tuckets the ship.

1006
00:43:16,079 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, just dumping ship on you. They are pretty convinced

1007
00:43:20,039 --> 00:43:24,880
at first that it is other worldly stuff, but very

1008
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:29,239
quickly they're like, no, I heard a fucking cannon. Somebody

1009
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:30,159
did this.

1010
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 4: Well, also, I'm sure, I mean it's only going to

1011
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:37,760
fall for so long, right, yes, So assuming when it stopped,

1012
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:38,840
they're like, oh, just kidding.

1013
00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:45,119
Speaker 2: Yeah. So the town minister starts an investigation. John Hale,

1014
00:43:45,159 --> 00:43:48,679
who is a key figure in the Witch trials, is Ego.

1015
00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:50,320
As soon as they shot the cannon, is Ego and

1016
00:43:50,360 --> 00:43:51,920
his friends are like, oh shit and just run back

1017
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,920
and act like they're They're like, I'm just sweeping.

1018
00:43:55,079 --> 00:43:57,719
Speaker 3: I didn't do I didn't do a fucking thing. Fine,

1019
00:43:58,199 --> 00:44:01,400
So they questioned Ezekiel.

1020
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,559
Speaker 2: They're like, you were there were like four people down

1021
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:07,280
at church and a cannon just got shot off full

1022
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,119
of cowshit and you're a twelve year old boy, and

1023
00:44:10,159 --> 00:44:12,360
we know you're kind of a dick already, like we

1024
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:15,920
know you're a mischievous kid. Did you do this? And

1025
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:23,320
Ezekiel was like, oh, sort of, but it was actually

1026
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:26,960
an evil spirit that got inside of me and there

1027
00:44:27,039 --> 00:44:30,000
was a shadowy figure in the barn that might have

1028
00:44:30,079 --> 00:44:33,119
been the devil, and that's why it happened.

1029
00:44:33,719 --> 00:44:35,840
Speaker 3: Then my buddy exercised me and he's.

1030
00:44:35,639 --> 00:44:37,199
Speaker 2: Gone, yeah, and we're good. We're good now.

1031
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:41,079
Speaker 1: It sounds like something super believable at the time.

1032
00:44:41,599 --> 00:44:44,320
Speaker 2: It does, but surprisingly people don't lie.

1033
00:44:44,360 --> 00:44:45,039
Speaker 3: Back then, the.

1034
00:44:44,920 --> 00:44:48,280
Speaker 2: Town magistrates, who would be who are completely primed for

1035
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,519
oh the devil made them do it, were like nice

1036
00:44:51,559 --> 00:44:54,159
try no, Yeah, they're a nice trie. You're just a dick. Yeah,

1037
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:58,880
you're no, So you know, as they do to boys

1038
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,920
at the time. Uh, he was taken to the town

1039
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:05,920
square and publicly whipped. Oh that's a twelve year old boy.

1040
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:06,719
Speaker 3: Bad.

1041
00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:08,960
Speaker 1: I hate publicly executed.

1042
00:45:09,199 --> 00:45:11,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, just a casual whipping.

1043
00:45:12,199 --> 00:45:13,280
Speaker 1: That's so awful.

1044
00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,599
Speaker 2: Well he made he lied about the devil.

1045
00:45:16,639 --> 00:45:17,840
Speaker 1: Whatever, he's just being a boy.

1046
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:19,719
Speaker 3: He also shut a poop cannon.

1047
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,599
Speaker 1: Well whatever, a ground him. They probably didn't ground him.

1048
00:45:23,199 --> 00:45:25,320
Speaker 2: Get powder's got powder at the store.

1049
00:45:26,559 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 1: Give him extra chores, so you're not an old school mom.

1050
00:45:30,159 --> 00:45:31,360
Speaker 2: Rory acts up.

1051
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,119
Speaker 3: You're not getting the switch from the backyard.

1052
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:36,280
Speaker 2: Well, also good switches in the yard too.

1053
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:39,079
Speaker 1: I think what's so stupid about that is like, he's

1054
00:45:39,199 --> 00:45:42,039
literally your free labors, So why are you whipping him

1055
00:45:42,039 --> 00:45:43,559
where he's just gonna be in pain and not be

1056
00:45:43,599 --> 00:45:45,519
a good worker. I don't know.

1057
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 2: I just thought a lot of American history would argue

1058
00:45:49,239 --> 00:45:50,920
against that free labor.

1059
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:52,679
Speaker 3: Just whipping your free label.

1060
00:45:52,679 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Oh well good point.

1061
00:45:58,679 --> 00:46:01,159
Speaker 2: Uh, last, but not least, we have a kid in

1062
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:01,880
ancient Rome.

1063
00:46:02,039 --> 00:46:03,960
Speaker 1: Wait, that's it, he's okay.

1064
00:46:04,599 --> 00:46:07,400
Speaker 2: Oh his story became famous. Yeah, yeah, he's fine after that. Okay,

1065
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,159
but his story became famous and was talked about in

1066
00:46:09,199 --> 00:46:12,280
Salem for like one hundred years. Afterwards they called it

1067
00:46:12,320 --> 00:46:16,360
Ezekiel's Folly or the Great Dung Shot, and they're like, oh,

1068
00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,280
that was funny. He got a whipping last, but not least.

1069
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,800
I feel like this is what you'll appreciate. It was

1070
00:46:21,840 --> 00:46:27,199
a boy who bullshitted his way into a chariot race. Yeah,

1071
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:28,039
in ancient Rome.

1072
00:46:28,079 --> 00:46:29,239
Speaker 3: How old was he?

1073
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 2: He was fourteen. I believe that's old enough. How old

1074
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:35,119
are you supposed to be an adult?

1075
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:37,639
Speaker 3: This is like Anakin in the pod Racer.

1076
00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 1: No, I was literally thinking the same thing.

1077
00:46:41,079 --> 00:46:45,639
Speaker 3: Big Star Wars, Gal she is actually so we're Star

1078
00:46:45,679 --> 00:46:46,960
Wars by the way, phenom menace.

1079
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,639
Speaker 2: It's not even close to the worst Star Wars. It's

1080
00:46:49,639 --> 00:46:51,480
better than the all three that came out.

1081
00:46:51,559 --> 00:46:53,360
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, don't argue that with Rob. Rob

1082
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:54,400
thinks the first three or the.

1083
00:46:54,320 --> 00:46:57,039
Speaker 2: Best the best three? Oh yeah, for sure. Star Wars

1084
00:46:57,039 --> 00:46:57,400
by far.

1085
00:46:57,519 --> 00:47:00,440
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, just the acting is so bad with uh,

1086
00:47:01,760 --> 00:47:03,400
I guess both Anakins.

1087
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:05,519
Speaker 3: But yeah, but I get distracted by Natalie Portman, so yeah,

1088
00:47:05,519 --> 00:47:06,079
it doesn't.

1089
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:08,079
Speaker 1: Really know, but like it's also her worst.

1090
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:12,000
Speaker 3: Acting, yeah, but it's also her best at her hottest

1091
00:47:12,039 --> 00:47:15,639
by far. Really Oh my god, in the White Outfit

1092
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:16,760
in Attack of the.

1093
00:47:16,679 --> 00:47:20,559
Speaker 4: Clones, when that thing casually just rips off a perfect

1094
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:21,559
middrift shot.

1095
00:47:21,639 --> 00:47:25,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that happens. Have you ever fought in an arena? No,

1096
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:30,119
you don't know, Yeah, I don't. A monster takes a middrift.

1097
00:47:32,559 --> 00:47:37,000
So this kid, he's a stable boy, and he's like,

1098
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,800
this job sucks. I'm literally a slave. Yeah, this is

1099
00:47:41,199 --> 00:47:41,679
the worst.

1100
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,519
Speaker 3: Well, I mean back then, if you were a slave,

1101
00:47:43,599 --> 00:47:47,599
it could be much worse too. You could just get someone.

1102
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:50,440
Speaker 2: Super grim getting stuffed up. You could get your junk

1103
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:51,480
cut off, and then.

1104
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's not a time I would have wanted to

1105
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:57,519
be visible.

1106
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 2: You don't want to visit like ancient Rome.

1107
00:48:00,119 --> 00:48:04,199
Speaker 1: No, I think I'm okay. I just picture like walking

1108
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:06,840
through the streets and just like people fucking everywhere.

1109
00:48:07,519 --> 00:48:12,559
Speaker 2: The fucking would be the least smelly thing. Yeah, yeah,

1110
00:48:12,599 --> 00:48:13,320
it'd be horrific.

1111
00:48:13,639 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 3: Nobody brushes their teeth.

1112
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:18,159
Speaker 1: No, No, I know I can't do any of it.

1113
00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,000
Speaker 2: No, no, but you kind.

1114
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:21,880
Speaker 3: Of get used to it and I do it. It'd

1115
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:23,000
be fun, it's all.

1116
00:48:23,039 --> 00:48:27,360
Speaker 2: You know. You don't want to go to India walk

1117
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:28,039
around the streets.

1118
00:48:28,119 --> 00:48:28,800
Speaker 1: I'm okay.

1119
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:31,159
Speaker 2: Are you sure. Yeah, I was gonna do that for anniversary.

1120
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:32,039
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm pretty good.

1121
00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 2: Bombay a bunch of bugs.

1122
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 3: Now Calcutta, you know, I don't do bug Calcutta or

1123
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,280
whatever it's called. Now I don't even know it's not

1124
00:48:38,320 --> 00:48:40,320
Calcutta anymore. Really.

1125
00:48:40,480 --> 00:48:43,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, they took away all the British names. They de

1126
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:47,599
anglicize that powerful Bombay is I think Mumbai, no, but

1127
00:48:47,679 --> 00:48:50,400
I forget what Calcutta is. Have no fucking idea.

1128
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:52,679
Speaker 1: So this kid didn't even know these were all the

1129
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:53,159
same things.

1130
00:48:53,599 --> 00:48:56,679
Speaker 2: This kid's work at the stables and it's a major

1131
00:48:56,760 --> 00:48:59,719
race day, it's a race day, and it's Roman Festival.

1132
00:49:00,119 --> 00:49:03,559
Circus is absolutely packed, knows the horses. He does know

1133
00:49:03,599 --> 00:49:05,840
the horses. And I guess it was a thing at

1134
00:49:05,840 --> 00:49:09,000
the time, which makes sense because why not get have

1135
00:49:09,039 --> 00:49:11,800
as much fun as you want stable boys while they're

1136
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,480
people who own them were away racing. We're just like,

1137
00:49:14,559 --> 00:49:16,760
let's get drunk on wine. Let's just steal people's wine

1138
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,320
from the crowd and get fucked up and feels like

1139
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,199
little rob Yeah, that's absolutely what I would do. Yeah,

1140
00:49:23,519 --> 00:49:27,599
my mom for a church golf tournament. My mom came

1141
00:49:27,639 --> 00:49:29,079
to me. I think it was nineteen. But my mom

1142
00:49:29,159 --> 00:49:30,639
came in and she's like, do you want to ride

1143
00:49:30,679 --> 00:49:33,360
the run the beer cart for the Christ of King

1144
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:36,840
golf tournament. Just drive around and you know, hand people

1145
00:49:36,840 --> 00:49:37,320
beer out.

1146
00:49:37,679 --> 00:49:38,679
Speaker 1: I twist my arm. Mom.

1147
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:41,880
Speaker 2: Yeah. Me and Thomas Red were like. I called Thomas

1148
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:43,119
Redd my buddy Thomas, and I was.

1149
00:49:43,039 --> 00:49:47,440
Speaker 3: Like, to another reason why the Catholics are better. Yeah, drunks, drunks, drunks.

1150
00:49:47,559 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 1: We were just your parents are absolutely not.

1151
00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,920
Speaker 2: No. We spent the afternoon of that golf course ripping

1152
00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:55,039
heaters and getting blackout drunk on free beer.

1153
00:49:55,039 --> 00:49:59,320
Speaker 3: The church gave us my mom's functional alcoholic that's as

1154
00:49:59,320 --> 00:50:01,880
Catholic as a gain. My dad doesn't drink as much.

1155
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,360
Obviously doesn't drink now because the lung transplant, but he

1156
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:04,800
was high.

1157
00:50:04,880 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 2: My entire youth was also what led to the lung transplant.

1158
00:50:09,559 --> 00:50:12,679
Speaker 3: Probably also the chemicals in the water.

1159
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:13,199
Speaker 2: Chemicals.

1160
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, very different from your parents.

1161
00:50:16,039 --> 00:50:17,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know my parents are just like that. I

1162
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:20,440
like didn't have alcohol to steal in my house as

1163
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:22,840
a child. It was weird.

1164
00:50:23,199 --> 00:50:25,880
Speaker 3: Oh, I stole so much booze I got caught.

1165
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:26,800
Speaker 2: There was no liquor cabin.

1166
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,400
Speaker 1: A bunch of times Dad had so much liquor.

1167
00:50:29,519 --> 00:50:32,159
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm sure your dad still does. Yeah. They made

1168
00:50:32,199 --> 00:50:36,440
me do manual labor though, as punishment while you were hungover. Yeah,

1169
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:38,079
that's that's a good.

1170
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:40,559
Speaker 1: Punishment that that I will do.

1171
00:50:41,039 --> 00:50:45,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, that is if lady's hungover at like fifteen sixteen,

1172
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:46,639
like you're mowing the lawn today.

1173
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:48,320
Speaker 4: No wonder your mom made you put up an above

1174
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:51,280
ground pool. Was well that while you were hungover.

1175
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,360
Speaker 3: She didn't know I was hungover. I was just forced

1176
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:54,800
to do that. Wait a minute, you guys, are you

1177
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:56,079
have an above ground pool?

1178
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,519
Speaker 2: No, not really.

1179
00:50:58,519 --> 00:51:00,000
Speaker 1: It's a low point in his past.

1180
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:06,480
Speaker 2: My mother. Who look, my parents, I like to say

1181
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:09,440
all the time, if they won the lottery, they wouldn't

1182
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,719
know what to do with it. They're just two thrifty

1183
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:14,400
in midwestern mm hmm. Like they would come and stay

1184
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:18,199
a very practical Catholics, a nicer holiday. So one day

1185
00:51:18,280 --> 00:51:21,760
my mom's like, I want a pool, and we're like, oh,

1186
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,400
are we going to put a pool of the yard

1187
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,880
that'll take up the whole yard? And she's like no,

1188
00:51:27,440 --> 00:51:30,719
I saw one at Sam's Club and I was like,

1189
00:51:30,920 --> 00:51:34,920
absolutely fucking not like a cowboy pool, like one of

1190
00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,400
those ones where you the ring inflates and you fill

1191
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,840
it up and the ring rises. Not a cowboy pool

1192
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:43,239
that's like a horse like the horse pool or whatever. No,

1193
00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,480
it's just some shitty inflatable pool for your backyard, giant

1194
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,239
inflatable pool.

1195
00:51:47,639 --> 00:51:49,880
Speaker 4: And so we had to like one of the big

1196
00:51:49,880 --> 00:51:51,800
ones where adults are like, waist.

1197
00:51:51,559 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 3: Deep, you are white trash.

1198
00:51:54,519 --> 00:51:57,760
Speaker 2: It was the most shameful moment of my life. I

1199
00:51:57,840 --> 00:52:00,679
was out there pounding the ground flat. My dad's like, no,

1200
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,039
we have to do it, and I'm like, this is

1201
00:52:02,079 --> 00:52:04,519
a fucking dug fucking like.

1202
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:05,599
Speaker 1: Didn't you never go in?

1203
00:52:05,639 --> 00:52:08,159
Speaker 2: I never went principle, I never went in. I never

1204
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,800
touched water. My mom was like, is it this great?

1205
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:13,800
And I was like, it's a fucking disgrace.

1206
00:52:13,880 --> 00:52:15,280
Speaker 3: How much of the grass did it kill?

1207
00:52:16,039 --> 00:52:18,199
Speaker 2: Well, we took killed the grass. We took it up,

1208
00:52:19,119 --> 00:52:23,519
and then pounded the fucking earth flat all morning. I

1209
00:52:23,559 --> 00:52:25,800
was hungover from god knows what, just some dumb high

1210
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,159
school shit. And then they put the pool up and they're like,

1211
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,199
let's all get it, and I was like, I'm going inside.

1212
00:52:30,360 --> 00:52:31,360
This is disgusting.

1213
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:34,320
Speaker 1: Like twenty plus years later, it's still a sore topic.

1214
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:37,800
Speaker 2: It pisses me off so much to this day, especially

1215
00:52:38,039 --> 00:52:39,239
how happy they all were.

1216
00:52:39,599 --> 00:52:40,239
Speaker 1: It'd be one thing.

1217
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:42,880
Speaker 2: I think if it was like a hot tub, I

1218
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:44,280
wouldn't even understand the point of that.

1219
00:52:44,400 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 3: My parents have a hot sub.

1220
00:52:46,639 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 1: It's nice, like you know at night.

1221
00:52:48,679 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 3: Sure, my dad had a midlife crisis and it was

1222
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,679
between a hot tub and a motorcycle.

1223
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:55,599
Speaker 1: That was he made the right choice. Yeah, I don't like.

1224
00:52:56,039 --> 00:52:58,039
Speaker 3: We still have the hot tub to this day. But

1225
00:52:58,119 --> 00:53:00,840
I had to dig the power line for in my backyard.

1226
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:03,159
So I had to dig like a trench there you go,

1227
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,639
free labor to install the power.

1228
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not digging shit. So I guess if

1229
00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,440
you want to put some garbage in our backyards.

1230
00:53:09,079 --> 00:53:11,079
Speaker 1: I'm not putting a hot tub out there. I don't

1231
00:53:11,079 --> 00:53:12,679
want my child to drown in a hot tub.

1232
00:53:12,719 --> 00:53:13,800
Speaker 2: I mean that you can't do it.

1233
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:17,519
Speaker 4: Now, Wait, so is your is your Roman teenager going

1234
00:53:17,559 --> 00:53:19,000
to drunkenly.

1235
00:53:19,320 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: Drive a chariot? Yes, okay, well not to steal your thunder.

1236
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:27,039
Speaker 3: Come on, it's but you can't drink water, then wine's

1237
00:53:27,079 --> 00:53:28,760
probably a little bit, you know.

1238
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:31,480
Speaker 2: I mean, it's better for your gi but he's doing

1239
00:53:31,559 --> 00:53:34,400
it to get fucked up specifically. Yeah, he's not doing.

1240
00:53:34,159 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 4: It like, oh, I forgot it's dirty water. So but

1241
00:53:36,559 --> 00:53:37,440
he's just drinking wine.

1242
00:53:37,519 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's people forget about that.

1243
00:53:39,519 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 2: What did kids brought to history?

1244
00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,760
Speaker 3: You drink beer because it's just cleaner juice.

1245
00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:43,920
Speaker 1: Do they have juice? Is that a thing?

1246
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:44,480
Speaker 2: I probably have.

1247
00:53:44,559 --> 00:53:47,679
Speaker 3: Juice, I couldn't tell you. Or they just drank dirty water.

1248
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,519
And if they lived to adulthood, congratulations.

1249
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,320
Speaker 1: That's so grim.

1250
00:53:51,599 --> 00:53:54,880
Speaker 2: Okay, So this kid takes a fucking get is drunk,

1251
00:53:55,199 --> 00:53:57,599
and he's like, dude, fuck my bosses. This shit sucks.

1252
00:53:57,639 --> 00:54:00,360
I hate being a slave, which I guess fair enough.

1253
00:54:01,079 --> 00:54:05,440
And he just grabs a chariot while his uh, his

1254
00:54:06,159 --> 00:54:09,199
rider is away and goes out. There's more than one race,

1255
00:54:09,239 --> 00:54:10,880
by the way, it's like the Kentucky Derby, right, Like

1256
00:54:10,920 --> 00:54:14,480
it's like there's races throughout the day. He's uh, he

1257
00:54:14,559 --> 00:54:17,440
worked for the Green faction, not our favorite faction.

1258
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:18,599
Speaker 3: We're not greens.

1259
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:23,079
Speaker 2: No, we're whites, whites only whites. We are go whites,

1260
00:54:23,199 --> 00:54:28,280
go whites. Uh. Despite the fact that getting into a

1261
00:54:28,360 --> 00:54:34,000
chariot is nothing like getting into a car.

1262
00:54:33,639 --> 00:54:34,760
Speaker 3: I think it's kind of similar.

1263
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,000
Speaker 2: No, No, it's wildly complicated to steer if you don't

1264
00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,039
know what you're doing. But he had seen his bosses

1265
00:54:40,079 --> 00:54:41,400
do it, and he's like, I think I grabed this.

1266
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,079
Speaker 1: Well, I'm sure it's kind of heavy.

1267
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:47,280
Speaker 2: It's you need to be strong to make four horses

1268
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:48,159
go wherever the fuck you are.

1269
00:54:48,519 --> 00:54:52,280
Speaker 3: Four horses, four horses pulling the chariot.

1270
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,719
Speaker 2: So he gets on and he's like, yeah, fuck it.

1271
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:57,559
He drunk drives into the middle of a race that's

1272
00:54:57,599 --> 00:55:02,039
going on currently sick, immediately crashes and causes a pile up.

1273
00:55:02,199 --> 00:55:06,960
Speaker 3: Yes, you have to factor that in the gambling market.

1274
00:55:07,159 --> 00:55:09,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, like literally just gets onto the track and it's

1275
00:55:09,599 --> 00:55:13,400
like within thirty seconds, it's like and there's just like

1276
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:17,079
a NASCAR esque pile up on the chariot track. Horses

1277
00:55:17,119 --> 00:55:18,159
are getting obliterated.

1278
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:20,920
Speaker 3: I do appreciate that. He's like, we don't need to

1279
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:21,719
do a trial run.

1280
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:22,719
Speaker 2: No, we don't need to.

1281
00:55:24,119 --> 00:55:24,639
Speaker 1: They've seen it.

1282
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:27,000
Speaker 2: Think fuck it, will do it live. I think I'm

1283
00:55:27,039 --> 00:55:30,559
fucking good. So yeah, immediately just crashes. Horses are going

1284
00:55:30,599 --> 00:55:33,760
over chariots, people are flying off their ship. The crowd

1285
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:38,440
loves it, absolutely goes insane. Yes, absolutely is like this

1286
00:55:38,519 --> 00:55:40,960
is the best because like most people who go to

1287
00:55:41,000 --> 00:55:44,639
a NASCAR race. They just want to see people get.

1288
00:55:44,480 --> 00:55:46,599
Speaker 1: Fucked up, or like going to a hockey game fights.

1289
00:55:46,719 --> 00:55:51,400
Speaker 2: Yes, you want to see violence. So a horrific pile

1290
00:55:51,480 --> 00:55:52,400
up ensues.

1291
00:55:52,519 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 3: Did he have the spikey wheels? Probably like a cholo

1292
00:55:55,880 --> 00:56:00,480
driving a Cadillac. It's called a Scythian chariot. Scythian chariot.

1293
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:03,559
Speaker 1: Well, that's depressing. Is it supposed to like hit other

1294
00:56:03,639 --> 00:56:04,280
horses and.

1295
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:06,679
Speaker 2: Hurt them and other wheels?

1296
00:56:06,679 --> 00:56:07,480
Speaker 1: I can't think about it.

1297
00:56:08,119 --> 00:56:12,599
Speaker 2: For the horses now chariots, these races weren't super nice.

1298
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:14,280
Speaker 1: I'm sure it was horrible.

1299
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:15,760
Speaker 2: Sometimes you cut off a horse's leg.

1300
00:56:15,840 --> 00:56:18,480
Speaker 3: Do you know movies before, like the eighties, when you

1301
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:20,199
saw an animal die on screen? They died?

1302
00:56:21,480 --> 00:56:27,079
Speaker 4: Dan, that's not real, isn't it real? Are you telling

1303
00:56:27,119 --> 00:56:28,119
me Old Yeller died?

1304
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:29,119
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1305
00:56:30,280 --> 00:56:32,760
Speaker 2: Was that an off screen death or did they show them?

1306
00:56:32,920 --> 00:56:36,639
Speaker 3: There's multiple show I'm getting domed, there's multiple Like that

1307
00:56:36,679 --> 00:56:37,719
was an off screen death?

1308
00:56:39,280 --> 00:56:39,559
Speaker 2: Dude.

1309
00:56:39,599 --> 00:56:42,280
Speaker 3: They kill animals on screen all the time. And like

1310
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,880
the movies in the fifties and sixties and seventies, those

1311
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:45,519
horses that.

1312
00:56:45,679 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 1: Lassie you're telling me Lassie dies, I feel like.

1313
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,679
Speaker 2: You're talking about like Ben Hurr. I'm talking about like

1314
00:56:50,719 --> 00:56:54,960
Mister Ed and shit, like who killed anyone in Mister Ed?

1315
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:56,760
Speaker 1: Mister Ed led his own show.

1316
00:56:57,039 --> 00:56:59,519
Speaker 2: I mean they did kill I mean animals died. Wait,

1317
00:56:59,559 --> 00:57:01,840
I think in the ben Hurst seeing that the chariot scene, it.

1318
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:03,800
Speaker 3: Was I'm not even talking about like animals that are

1319
00:57:03,800 --> 00:57:05,840
like the main character. But if you saw a western

1320
00:57:05,880 --> 00:57:08,400
in the fifties and a horse gets shot, the horse

1321
00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:08,960
gets shot.

1322
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 1: They used live guns.

1323
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:14,880
Speaker 3: Yes, they killed the horses. That's why I like they

1324
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,320
for a while, they had to be like no animals

1325
00:57:17,559 --> 00:57:20,000
were harmed during the filming of this production. That had

1326
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,199
to be like there was like lost past that you

1327
00:57:22,239 --> 00:57:24,559
could no longer murk animals.

1328
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,840
Speaker 1: Well, that's horrible. That's Hollywood, baby, I'm just never going

1329
00:57:28,920 --> 00:57:30,079
to watch another John Wayne movie.

1330
00:57:30,199 --> 00:57:32,599
Speaker 3: That's the industry we wanted to watch anyways. Yeah, we

1331
00:57:32,639 --> 00:57:33,880
all wanted to go to Hollywood.

1332
00:57:33,920 --> 00:57:37,079
Speaker 2: I kill animal this is it's just an attack on

1333
00:57:37,199 --> 00:57:41,639
practical effects. That's big SFX, yeah or big FX.

1334
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:44,119
Speaker 3: Just what if Nolan goes to old school for the

1335
00:57:44,159 --> 00:57:46,079
Odyssey just kills.

1336
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 2: Horses, starts killing If anyone could get away with it,

1337
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:50,599
Christopher Nolan could kill a horse.

1338
00:57:52,199 --> 00:57:53,360
Speaker 1: I don't think he would.

1339
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:55,159
Speaker 2: I hope he does.

1340
00:57:56,119 --> 00:57:56,920
Speaker 1: No, you don't.

1341
00:57:58,039 --> 00:58:01,599
Speaker 3: But like horses that are already not for this world. Yeah,

1342
00:58:01,599 --> 00:58:02,239
they have cancer.

1343
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 4: Well, they canceled that Dustin Hoffman Horse Racing Show because

1344
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:06,519
they were hurting, dying.

1345
00:58:06,639 --> 00:58:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, they killed like eight horses on that RP.

1346
00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:09,400
Speaker 3: Barbara.

1347
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:11,239
Speaker 2: I think it was called luck, wasn't it.

1348
00:58:11,280 --> 00:58:13,559
Speaker 3: Barbara broke his leg I think in the second race

1349
00:58:13,599 --> 00:58:15,760
after the Kentucky Derby, and they had to put him down.

1350
00:58:16,159 --> 00:58:18,440
Speaker 2: What I thought they fixed it in their bread them.

1351
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,760
Speaker 1: They put him down because his barbrea.

1352
00:58:21,519 --> 00:58:23,360
Speaker 3: Won the Kentucky Derby. And then I think either the

1353
00:58:23,360 --> 00:58:25,519
second race or the third race broke his leg in that.

1354
00:58:25,599 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 2: To kill him. Why do they have to kill him

1355
00:58:26,960 --> 00:58:27,880
because he broke his leg?

1356
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,400
Speaker 1: Who cares? Put a brace on him, send him out

1357
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,199
to a pasture to live the rest of his days.

1358
00:58:32,880 --> 00:58:35,519
Speaker 2: That sperm is too valuable. You can't just kill it.

1359
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:36,639
Speaker 3: They did.

1360
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:39,119
Speaker 2: That is just cut it off.

1361
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:42,199
Speaker 1: See this is why I don't do the Kentucky Derby.

1362
00:58:42,199 --> 00:58:42,920
I don't like any of this.

1363
00:58:43,000 --> 00:58:43,519
Speaker 2: You would love it.

1364
00:58:43,599 --> 00:58:45,719
Speaker 1: I don't like Rome, I don't like the Kentucky Derby.

1365
00:58:45,920 --> 00:58:47,440
Speaker 2: I don't like befair.

1366
00:58:47,559 --> 00:58:50,599
Speaker 3: I could also be making this up. But I think

1367
00:58:50,639 --> 00:58:53,400
I remember they did put down Barbara. I mean, I'll

1368
00:58:53,440 --> 00:58:56,960
just go Smarty Jones. Also, I think got injured, but

1369
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:58,239
they didn't kill Smarty Jones.

1370
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:01,239
Speaker 1: Uh, don't like any of this.

1371
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think they put down Barbara.

1372
00:59:03,119 --> 00:59:11,199
Speaker 2: Right, he was euthanized, but not immediately. A year later

1373
00:59:11,239 --> 00:59:12,079
he was euthanized.

1374
00:59:12,639 --> 00:59:15,800
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, you can't move on with the story.

1375
00:59:16,079 --> 00:59:18,159
Speaker 2: Yeah. Oh, and they strangled him.

1376
00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:19,800
Speaker 1: Rob, No, they didn't.

1377
00:59:21,800 --> 00:59:22,679
Speaker 3: They cut his head off.

1378
00:59:22,760 --> 00:59:25,079
Speaker 2: Yeah. It took a lot of people for the picture.

1379
00:59:25,199 --> 00:59:29,920
Speaker 1: It's like, isn't that how they kill rabies? Animals cut

1380
00:59:29,920 --> 00:59:30,280
their head off?

1381
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:32,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, that you cut, cut their head off and drill

1382
00:59:32,039 --> 00:59:34,800
into their brain to see if there's rabies in there. Oh,

1383
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,639
because there was that school that had like a wash you.

1384
00:59:37,800 --> 00:59:41,079
It was in Saint Louis a bear, right, like a cub. Yes,

1385
00:59:41,679 --> 00:59:44,960
so wash you in Saint Louis's mascot is the bears.

1386
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:50,559
And as a sort of like finals stress relief, they

1387
00:59:50,559 --> 00:59:52,840
brought in a baby bear for students to pet.

1388
00:59:53,639 --> 00:59:55,280
Speaker 1: Rob If you're going to tell me they cut this

1389
00:59:55,320 --> 00:59:56,239
fucking bear's head.

1390
00:59:56,079 --> 00:59:58,519
Speaker 3: Off, well, the bear bit someone.

1391
00:59:58,559 --> 01:00:03,280
Speaker 2: The bear bit someone. Were they bothering someone who pets

1392
01:00:03,280 --> 01:00:04,760
a bear deserves to get bitten by a bear.

1393
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,920
Speaker 3: I would agree, Yeah, no, I trust bears.

1394
01:00:08,039 --> 01:00:11,800
Speaker 2: So the bear bites this person and they're like, we

1395
01:00:11,920 --> 01:00:13,679
have to test it for rabies. It's kind of like

1396
01:00:13,719 --> 01:00:18,760
a wild bear. And the students stopped it from happening.

1397
01:00:19,679 --> 01:00:21,679
They did not cut the baby bear's head off.

1398
01:00:23,159 --> 01:00:24,360
Speaker 1: They just drilled into its head.

1399
01:00:24,519 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 2: No, they didn't do either. Okay, they were like, it's fine,

1400
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,920
I'll get tested for rabies. Please don't cut this child

1401
01:00:30,000 --> 01:00:33,000
bear's head off. Please don't got this bear cub's head off.

1402
01:00:34,360 --> 01:00:34,880
But they were.

1403
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:38,000
Speaker 1: Gonna, okay, I'm waiting for it.

1404
01:00:37,679 --> 01:00:39,079
Speaker 2: That's okay, there's no twist.

1405
01:00:39,159 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 1: Okay.

1406
01:00:39,400 --> 01:00:40,639
Speaker 3: See I thought they actually did cut the.

1407
01:00:40,719 --> 01:00:42,719
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, but they were gonna, like the drills

1408
01:00:42,719 --> 01:00:43,639
were warm.

1409
01:00:43,559 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 1: Enough, they were on the table, they were charging.

1410
01:00:45,599 --> 01:00:49,599
Speaker 2: They were like, please don't do that. So the race

1411
01:00:50,199 --> 01:00:54,119
was halted briefly and the wreckage was hauled off Guayas

1412
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:55,880
the kid was hauled off to face.

1413
01:00:55,679 --> 01:00:58,719
Speaker 1: Punishment, did he get publicly whipped?

1414
01:00:58,880 --> 01:01:01,280
Speaker 2: As he was being taken and off Because he was

1415
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:04,840
so drunk, he turned around and mooned the Emperor Claudius.

1416
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:10,320
It was like, kiss my ass. Yeah, but it.

1417
01:01:10,280 --> 01:01:12,360
Speaker 1: Could be the audience loved it.

1418
01:01:12,360 --> 01:01:14,880
Speaker 2: It could be so etigious that he would respect it.

1419
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:15,960
Check it out.

1420
01:01:16,320 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 3: He did the Emperor's like, oh, that was actually cool.

1421
01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:21,880
Speaker 2: Claudius thought it was hilarious and spared Guayas from a

1422
01:01:21,880 --> 01:01:25,960
harsh punishment, no whippings or death for him. He was

1423
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:28,840
just like, that's a funny kid, and let him go

1424
01:01:29,599 --> 01:01:30,440
for the next.

1425
01:01:30,239 --> 01:01:33,320
Speaker 3: So wait, he got less punishment for mooning the emperor.

1426
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, and destroying his rais.

1427
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:37,440
Speaker 3: Then when Randy Moss did the fake moon, yes, and

1428
01:01:37,559 --> 01:01:38,880
Joe Buck lost his mind.

1429
01:01:38,960 --> 01:01:43,639
Speaker 2: Yes, he got less punishment in a society that did

1430
01:01:43,679 --> 01:01:48,480
punishment for sport than Randy Moss sick.

1431
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:51,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, Joe Buck lost his fucking mind.

1432
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:53,360
Speaker 2: Disgusting act.

1433
01:01:54,880 --> 01:01:56,320
Speaker 3: Didn't even actually moon anyone.

1434
01:01:56,360 --> 01:01:58,159
Speaker 2: I love Joe Buck, but that was the dumbest thing

1435
01:01:58,199 --> 01:01:59,119
I've ever seen in my life.

1436
01:01:59,119 --> 01:02:02,239
Speaker 3: That's maybe the low of his career, and.

1437
01:02:02,239 --> 01:02:04,239
Speaker 2: It was early on in his NFL career. That's what

1438
01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:06,719
turned That's what turned everyone on Joe Buck. Yeah, was

1439
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:11,920
the Randy Moss wowment. So this kid actually becomes a

1440
01:02:12,039 --> 01:02:14,960
legend for the next two hundred years among slave boys

1441
01:02:15,360 --> 01:02:18,320
who were like, remember guys, did they build a statue? No,

1442
01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:19,280
they didn't build us.

1443
01:02:19,360 --> 01:02:21,119
Speaker 1: No, they're fucking slaves. Do not have any money for

1444
01:02:21,159 --> 01:02:21,639
a statue?

1445
01:02:21,760 --> 01:02:25,760
Speaker 2: We did not. But Roman teenagers and Roman teenage slaves

1446
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:30,360
loved the story and it became a legend amongst boy

1447
01:02:30,440 --> 01:02:33,320
slaves for the next two hundred years that you could

1448
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:36,400
have just a little fun. Yeah, not a lot. It

1449
01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:37,239
wouldn't last long.

1450
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,199
Speaker 1: He just had this day and then went back to

1451
01:02:39,280 --> 01:02:39,840
his stable.

1452
01:02:40,000 --> 01:02:43,000
Speaker 3: Yes, went back to his shitty life. Yet he wasn't free.

1453
01:02:43,039 --> 01:02:46,119
The emperor didn't think it was funny enough to free him.

1454
01:02:46,320 --> 01:02:49,079
Speaker 4: Okay, here's I think how it should have ended is

1455
01:02:49,119 --> 01:02:51,880
the emperor should have made him like maybe one of

1456
01:02:51,920 --> 01:02:54,480
his slaves, given him like a slave.

1457
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:57,239
Speaker 2: Upbate, Well his jester probably, yeah, just.

1458
01:02:57,199 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 1: Like a better job. Oh did they have gestures?

1459
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:00,719
Speaker 2: And yeah?

1460
01:03:00,840 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, is it not the same?

1461
01:03:02,639 --> 01:03:05,480
Speaker 1: I picture that is very like medieval They had people

1462
01:03:05,519 --> 01:03:06,280
to entertain them.

1463
01:03:07,199 --> 01:03:09,039
Speaker 2: They probably didn't call it a jester, but yeah, they

1464
01:03:09,039 --> 01:03:10,639
had people there to goof around.

1465
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:11,079
Speaker 3: Fair.

1466
01:03:13,239 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 2: But that is the story, the stories of boys being

1467
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:20,800
boys throughout history. It's nothing new. Guys being good boys

1468
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:24,119
will be boys. It's better than that. Could you see

1469
01:03:24,320 --> 01:03:26,400
just the darnedest. Could you see your boys doing any

1470
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:27,920
of this stuff? Yes?

1471
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:30,239
Speaker 3: Who's the real trouble maker?

1472
01:03:33,920 --> 01:03:36,239
Speaker 1: I mean they can they can both be little shits.

1473
01:03:37,000 --> 01:03:38,760
Speaker 3: Oh, Sammy's perfect so far he is.

1474
01:03:38,840 --> 01:03:41,199
Speaker 2: Yes, he actually is the best baby by a mile.

1475
01:03:41,559 --> 01:03:43,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's my personal favorite because he's not mean to

1476
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:44,360
me yet.

1477
01:03:45,239 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 2: What does Rory mean to you?

1478
01:03:47,360 --> 01:03:48,079
Speaker 1: Well, I don't know.

1479
01:03:48,159 --> 01:03:50,920
Speaker 3: Sometimes Finn's gonna be a problem because he's a redhead.

1480
01:03:51,760 --> 01:03:55,039
Speaker 1: He's already really feisty. I don't know. Rory's a little

1481
01:03:55,039 --> 01:03:57,880
more low key about being mischievous.

1482
01:03:58,079 --> 01:04:01,639
Speaker 3: Yeah, but he definitely I think Finn's the one that's

1483
01:04:01,639 --> 01:04:04,719
going to get into the ship. Yeah, because Finn's more

1484
01:04:04,920 --> 01:04:08,079
reckless with his body. Yeah, and you're going to ignore

1485
01:04:08,159 --> 01:04:09,440
him because he's a middle child.

1486
01:04:09,920 --> 01:04:13,679
Speaker 1: That is not true, it is I don't ignore him

1487
01:04:13,679 --> 01:04:15,039
at all. Do I ignore him?

1488
01:04:15,159 --> 01:04:15,360
Speaker 2: No?

1489
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 1: Thank you? Are you lying a little bit?

1490
01:04:18,079 --> 01:04:18,199
Speaker 3: Uh?

1491
01:04:18,960 --> 01:04:24,639
Speaker 2: Rob? I mean Rory definitely demands the most attention.

1492
01:04:25,159 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 1: Yes, he's a little prince.

1493
01:04:26,519 --> 01:04:30,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, so de fact, you don't we don't intend to

1494
01:04:30,639 --> 01:04:33,880
ignore Finn, but Rory requires more bandwidth.

1495
01:04:34,039 --> 01:04:36,719
Speaker 1: Well, Finn doesn't need me as much because.

1496
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:38,280
Speaker 2: He's grown up, not needing us as much.

1497
01:04:40,000 --> 01:04:41,320
Speaker 1: I think that's just his personality.

1498
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,559
Speaker 3: You give him less attention, he said, he's gonna be

1499
01:04:43,559 --> 01:04:44,280
a real spartan.

1500
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:47,079
Speaker 4: Stop acting like he's just some neglected like tossed in

1501
01:04:47,119 --> 01:04:47,639
a corner.

1502
01:04:47,920 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 2: We shower fit with love. He's fine, but Rory is

1503
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:52,480
still the one that requires the most.

1504
01:04:52,360 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 1: Attention, easily more than the baby.

1505
01:04:54,559 --> 01:05:00,719
Speaker 3: Well yeah, yeah, what you guys learn today learned about

1506
01:05:00,840 --> 01:05:01,679
the candy riot.

1507
01:05:02,320 --> 01:05:05,079
Speaker 2: The kid that was my favorite of the three was

1508
01:05:05,119 --> 01:05:07,199
the first one, the kid that was just like, got

1509
01:05:07,239 --> 01:05:09,039
caught doing something, but it was in the middle of

1510
01:05:09,039 --> 01:05:12,199
a political riot, so he just politicized it until he

1511
01:05:12,239 --> 01:05:13,119
got out of trouble.

1512
01:05:13,960 --> 01:05:22,119
Speaker 3: And you know, breaking into storefronts just to rob and loot. Yeah,

1513
01:05:22,360 --> 01:05:23,119
it's been around for.

1514
01:05:23,039 --> 01:05:24,400
Speaker 2: A while, tail as old as time.

1515
01:05:25,519 --> 01:05:29,360
Speaker 3: Find an opportunity, get yourself some new goodies.

1516
01:05:29,400 --> 01:05:32,320
Speaker 2: What people were really angry at wasn't the king. It

1517
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:34,960
was that they couldn't afford stuff in that store.

1518
01:05:35,599 --> 01:05:39,199
Speaker 3: And that store owner has nothing to do with the Crown.

1519
01:05:41,039 --> 01:05:43,960
Speaker 4: I honestly kind of learned a lot because I don't

1520
01:05:43,960 --> 01:05:47,800
know anything about history, and you know, don't listen to

1521
01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:52,199
the show. I didn't know that the French have all

1522
01:05:52,199 --> 01:05:53,079
these riots all the time.

1523
01:05:53,159 --> 01:05:53,639
Speaker 2: All the time.

1524
01:05:53,679 --> 01:05:55,559
Speaker 1: I just kind of think of, like Marie Antoinette that

1525
01:05:55,719 --> 01:05:56,559
and I kind of leave it.

1526
01:05:56,599 --> 01:05:58,559
Speaker 2: They started there and just didn't stop.

1527
01:05:58,800 --> 01:06:01,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't know this so interesting.

1528
01:06:02,719 --> 01:06:07,000
Speaker 4: I didn't know that teenagers started the Sandwich trial.

1529
01:06:07,800 --> 01:06:14,239
Speaker 1: Yes, so interesting. Yeah. I didn't know that Hollywood just killed.

1530
01:06:14,039 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 2: Animals all the time TBD.

1531
01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:23,360
Speaker 1: That and I didn't know that Dan almost joined the church.

1532
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:27,000
Speaker 2: Well that was a lie. Yeah, that felt like it

1533
01:06:27,039 --> 01:06:31,159
wasn't true. But we're once destitute, just destitute enough.

1534
01:06:31,400 --> 01:06:33,760
Speaker 3: It's like a m gonna be homeless. Where joined the church?

1535
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:36,480
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, I mean you can just sleep at the y.

1536
01:06:36,800 --> 01:06:39,880
I don't know why you would take take vows.

1537
01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 1: You could just everybody at a bar, you know.

1538
01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:47,079
Speaker 3: Twenty nineteen, great year, great year for us.

1539
01:06:47,760 --> 01:06:49,880
Speaker 1: Nineteen could have just slept in our guest room.

1540
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 3: I would never I never put that on you.

1541
01:06:54,000 --> 01:06:56,119
Speaker 1: Those pre kids, we had nothing going on.

1542
01:06:56,239 --> 01:06:59,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, truly nothing here a Circle seahouse, it was. Yeah,

1543
01:07:01,039 --> 01:07:02,360
I missed that neighborhood.

1544
01:07:03,079 --> 01:07:04,639
Speaker 1: Well we were next to Circle. See we were too

1545
01:07:04,639 --> 01:07:05,400
poor for circles scene.

1546
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:08,760
Speaker 2: But yeah, we were in the school district fair enough. Yeah,

1547
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:09,280
but yes.

1548
01:07:09,159 --> 01:07:10,679
Speaker 3: We were too poor for I missed the house. We

1549
01:07:10,719 --> 01:07:13,440
recorded a lot of things in that house. Oh yeah,

1550
01:07:13,639 --> 01:07:14,880
a ton a lot of episodes.

1551
01:07:15,119 --> 01:07:17,239
Speaker 1: It wasn't that where you recorded this first episode?

1552
01:07:17,280 --> 01:07:20,280
Speaker 3: We started software history in my house. Yeah, he did

1553
01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:24,159
Spare Bedroom partially in that partially in that house. If

1554
01:07:24,159 --> 01:07:28,360
only we had the equipment to knowledge at the time.

1555
01:07:28,280 --> 01:07:31,440
Speaker 2: We have it. Now here we are and we're making shit.

1556
01:07:31,519 --> 01:07:33,360
Speaker 3: Go listen to Spare Bedroom. I don't know if we

1557
01:07:33,400 --> 01:07:34,440
should just make it for free.

1558
01:07:34,639 --> 01:07:36,239
Speaker 2: We should just just dump it on the Patreot.

1559
01:07:36,320 --> 01:07:37,840
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, why I have Why isn't it

1560
01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:38,639
already on the Patriots?

1561
01:07:38,639 --> 01:07:40,000
Speaker 3: I think I've put two episodes up.

1562
01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,079
Speaker 2: Okay, there was a.

1563
01:07:41,960 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 4: Time when I would like plug my phone into play

1564
01:07:44,559 --> 01:07:47,320
music in my car, and Spare Bedroom would just pop.

1565
01:07:47,159 --> 01:07:49,480
Speaker 1: Up and it'd be, uh, what was his name?

1566
01:07:50,000 --> 01:07:50,239
Speaker 2: Dave?

1567
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 4: I was gonna say, the little guy, Yeah, Dave, just

1568
01:07:52,880 --> 01:07:56,760
strumming the guitar, seeing his little his little ditty.

1569
01:07:58,440 --> 01:07:59,519
Speaker 2: It was a it was a big swing.

1570
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 3: Should have put it on the Patreon, Yeah, not iTunes?

1571
01:08:04,079 --> 01:08:05,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably definitely.

1572
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:07,760
Speaker 3: That's my bad Live and Learn.

1573
01:08:08,280 --> 01:08:10,760
Speaker 1: Did you put Helen Helen on?

1574
01:08:10,920 --> 01:08:14,639
Speaker 3: Well, Helen's come over made it come back recurring.

1575
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:16,239
Speaker 1: Character on the didn't you put did you put the

1576
01:08:16,279 --> 01:08:17,359
original Helen?

1577
01:08:17,399 --> 01:08:19,279
Speaker 3: I think I know it is. Oh, it is because

1578
01:08:19,319 --> 01:08:21,239
two episodes of Spare Bedroom are on Patreon.

1579
01:08:21,399 --> 01:08:23,600
Speaker 2: Oh, I'll have to add that to the sketch lit

1580
01:08:23,680 --> 01:08:27,960
the sketch playlist. It's way back. I'll find it. I'll

1581
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:29,159
find it. It's not a big deal.

1582
01:08:29,359 --> 01:08:31,159
Speaker 3: Yeah, so check out the Patreon pitch. On dot com

1583
01:08:31,159 --> 01:08:34,479
soo software history, so many episodes, including sketches.

1584
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:39,439
Speaker 2: Who's today's hitler I'm gonna go with.

1585
01:08:41,399 --> 01:08:44,840
Speaker 3: Uh, probably the poop cannon Boy.

1586
01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:47,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's kind of a dickhead.

1587
01:08:48,119 --> 01:08:49,720
Speaker 3: He probably called the most ruckous.

1588
01:08:49,800 --> 01:08:53,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like to think it was. I hope it

1589
01:08:53,359 --> 01:08:55,359
was like that situation where the guy sent the wrong

1590
01:08:55,439 --> 01:08:56,800
text in Hawaii.

1591
01:08:58,039 --> 01:08:59,800
Speaker 3: Where it's like in nuclear bombs about the drop.

1592
01:09:00,159 --> 01:09:03,439
Speaker 2: Did you hear about this? There was? There's obviously there's

1593
01:09:03,479 --> 01:09:06,399
like a warning system in different cities and states, and

1594
01:09:06,439 --> 01:09:07,960
you know, like if you're in Saint Louis, you'll get

1595
01:09:07,960 --> 01:09:10,119
a push notification on your phone, like it was a

1596
01:09:10,119 --> 01:09:13,600
tornado coming in Hawaii. One of the things they have

1597
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:16,800
is a push notification for North Korea is about to

1598
01:09:16,920 --> 01:09:21,159
nuke you, Like a nuclear weapon is incoming from North Korea,

1599
01:09:21,239 --> 01:09:24,720
China or whatever, and they have it, but they also

1600
01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:27,520
have like a test, right, you send out tests sometimes

1601
01:09:27,520 --> 01:09:30,119
just to make sure it works. The guy who sent

1602
01:09:30,199 --> 01:09:34,359
it out forgot to send out the test one and

1603
01:09:34,439 --> 01:09:37,880
send out the real one. So everyone on this Hawaiian island,

1604
01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:41,640
I forget which one literally thinks in nuclear missile is

1605
01:09:41,960 --> 01:09:44,960
barreling towards Hawaii. This is like five years ago.

1606
01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:46,760
Speaker 1: By the way, were they doing like jumping on boats?

1607
01:09:47,039 --> 01:09:50,399
Speaker 2: They're jumping into sewers, running to their not basements, I

1608
01:09:50,399 --> 01:09:51,000
guess I don't even know.

1609
01:09:52,199 --> 01:09:53,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're jumping into sewers.

1610
01:09:54,039 --> 01:09:56,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, underground, just anywhere to come.

1611
01:09:56,039 --> 01:09:58,119
Speaker 3: I mean, it's a whole hypothetical, right, like you have

1612
01:09:58,399 --> 01:10:02,239
you know, ten minutes we're in your life asteroids about

1613
01:10:02,239 --> 01:10:03,159
the hit. What do you do?

1614
01:10:05,399 --> 01:10:07,880
Speaker 1: That's so sad? I don't know. Hug my kids.

1615
01:10:07,920 --> 01:10:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, one guy thought it was real. Everyone thought

1616
01:10:10,760 --> 01:10:12,119
it was real. But one of the guys he thought

1617
01:10:12,159 --> 01:10:14,039
it was real, Uh, freaked out and had a heart

1618
01:10:14,079 --> 01:10:14,680
attack and died.

1619
01:10:16,520 --> 01:10:17,760
Speaker 1: Did this guy at least get fired?

1620
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:18,880
Speaker 3: I hope.

1621
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:21,920
Speaker 2: So, I don't know, I have no idea. Didn't follow up.

1622
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:23,399
Speaker 1: Like, how are you that stupid? You have one drop

1623
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:23,680
to do?

1624
01:10:23,800 --> 01:10:27,319
Speaker 2: Dude? Yeah, who's today's hitler for you?

1625
01:10:28,239 --> 01:10:30,079
Speaker 1: Since I don't listen, does this mean the worst?

1626
01:10:30,199 --> 01:10:31,239
Speaker 2: Yeah? Who's the worst person?

1627
01:10:36,640 --> 01:10:37,119
Speaker 1: First guy again?

1628
01:10:37,199 --> 01:10:40,640
Speaker 4: Oh the candy kid, poop kid poop kid, Yeah, definitely

1629
01:10:41,000 --> 01:10:43,720
caused the most problems, mostly because everybody was so stupid.

1630
01:10:43,720 --> 01:10:45,159
Speaker 1: Then they all thought it was satan.

1631
01:10:45,199 --> 01:10:46,600
Speaker 2: Well, he was the only one that got punished.

1632
01:10:47,800 --> 01:10:50,079
Speaker 4: Oh that's true. Actually, you know what, I take it back.

1633
01:10:50,119 --> 01:10:51,840
It was the candy kid because he caused a whole.

1634
01:10:51,640 --> 01:10:55,680
Speaker 3: On a person that whipped the poop boy.

1635
01:10:56,039 --> 01:10:59,520
Speaker 1: The person that whipped the poop boy, Yeah, that guy.

1636
01:10:59,640 --> 01:11:04,800
Speaker 3: Since your anti you know, child punishment, I am. Do

1637
01:11:04,880 --> 01:11:06,560
you just give him a stern talking to or do

1638
01:11:06,600 --> 01:11:07,079
you just let him?

1639
01:11:07,159 --> 01:11:10,760
Speaker 2: We just say, hey, you're doing a good job expressing yourself. Yeah,

1640
01:11:11,079 --> 01:11:13,319
let's first and foremost let them walk all over. You're

1641
01:11:13,319 --> 01:11:16,039
doing a great job expressing yourself. I have some notes.

1642
01:11:16,039 --> 01:11:18,680
Oh you don't want the notes, that's fine. That's also

1643
01:11:18,720 --> 01:11:21,920
a great job expressing yourself. And then yeah, just go

1644
01:11:21,960 --> 01:11:22,319
do whatever.

1645
01:11:23,039 --> 01:11:25,119
Speaker 1: Okay, well it doesn't really go like that.

1646
01:11:25,279 --> 01:11:27,079
Speaker 2: Just take like subtle shots.

1647
01:11:27,159 --> 01:11:29,159
Speaker 1: You can't really argue with the three year old.

1648
01:11:29,319 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 2: Yes you can, No, you can't.

1649
01:11:30,920 --> 01:11:31,520
Speaker 1: Good luck to you.

1650
01:11:31,680 --> 01:11:33,159
Speaker 2: That's The worst part about a three year old is

1651
01:11:33,159 --> 01:11:33,439
they have.

1652
01:11:33,720 --> 01:11:35,279
Speaker 1: You come babysit. We'll see how it goes for you.

1653
01:11:35,560 --> 01:11:37,319
Speaker 2: Rory loves No. They'd be fine with him.

1654
01:11:37,800 --> 01:11:40,560
Speaker 1: They actually would. Yeah, he comes into the STA, you

1655
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:43,039
know what it would be like. Uh well, actually I

1656
01:11:43,039 --> 01:11:44,840
don't need to say that on the show because he listens,

1657
01:11:44,840 --> 01:11:45,600
so never mind.

1658
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:47,640
Speaker 2: Oh no, he says it all the time of the show.

1659
01:11:47,720 --> 01:11:49,520
What how you tamed Wheeler?

1660
01:11:50,039 --> 01:11:50,279
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1661
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:54,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he said. I didn't want to talk that

1662
01:11:54,439 --> 01:11:56,159
two Jake's face on and off Mike.

1663
01:11:56,439 --> 01:11:58,399
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, it's documented on the show.

1664
01:11:58,640 --> 01:12:01,600
Speaker 4: Okay, I I did say a bad word about animal.

1665
01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:03,359
But Wheeler's fine now because.

1666
01:12:03,159 --> 01:12:06,000
Speaker 3: I trained him. I had him for a week and

1667
01:12:06,039 --> 01:12:06,600
I trained him.

1668
01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,319
Speaker 1: I thought he went to like training camp.

1669
01:12:08,479 --> 01:12:10,960
Speaker 2: He did also do that after you. Then he went

1670
01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:11,640
to Dan Camp.

1671
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:14,600
Speaker 3: No, I know, Dan Camp turned his left around.

1672
01:12:15,239 --> 01:12:16,840
Speaker 4: Dan was just like Dan just has to walk in

1673
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:20,439
a room, and Wheeler just I think all Dan did

1674
01:12:20,520 --> 01:12:22,760
was just once just be like, no.

1675
01:12:23,039 --> 01:12:28,239
Speaker 3: I do a little Caesar Milan action, just ignoring, ignoring, ignoring.

1676
01:12:28,319 --> 01:12:30,000
We're going to walk and not the bus of this room.

1677
01:12:30,159 --> 01:12:32,399
Speaker 2: He's walking with us, He's not leading the walk.

1678
01:12:33,520 --> 01:12:37,239
Speaker 3: He walks with this. Well for dan Or Jester and

1679
01:12:37,279 --> 01:12:40,239
my wife, Courtney Fox. That's all I got for today.

1680
01:12:40,319 --> 01:12:42,960
Speaker 1: Sweetney, thank you for joining us, Thanks for having me.

1681
01:12:42,960 --> 01:12:49,279
Speaker 3: Working the fine folks at Rob's house. Yeah, at Rob's house,

1682
01:12:49,439 --> 01:12:52,319
which is documented somewhere on the internet.

1683
01:12:52,600 --> 01:12:53,000
Speaker 1: I hope not.

1684
01:12:53,119 --> 01:12:56,359
Speaker 2: Please don't come, Please do not show up. Well, we

1685
01:12:56,359 --> 01:12:57,960
don't have any guns, so there's nothing we can do

1686
01:12:58,039 --> 01:12:58,560
to stop you.

1687
01:12:58,840 --> 01:13:00,560
Speaker 3: The word's a Kamala Harris, do not come.

1688
01:13:00,680 --> 01:13:02,720
Speaker 1: We have an alarm system. Hopefully it still works.

1689
01:13:03,119 --> 01:13:08,760
Speaker 2: Uh yes, hopefully. Someone broke into my trunk yesterday again.

1690
01:13:09,600 --> 01:13:11,279
It happened again during the day.

1691
01:13:12,239 --> 01:13:14,399
Speaker 1: Why not, you know, aren't trucks more likely to be

1692
01:13:14,439 --> 01:13:15,000
broken into?

1693
01:13:15,159 --> 01:13:16,439
Speaker 3: I guess he ain't smash anything.

1694
01:13:16,720 --> 01:13:18,319
Speaker 1: No, one's trying to break into my hand a pilot.

1695
01:13:18,560 --> 01:13:20,520
Speaker 2: No, because his car looks like there might be a

1696
01:13:20,520 --> 01:13:20,920
gun in it.

1697
01:13:21,319 --> 01:13:23,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, mine's just full of old kid food.

1698
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:25,840
Speaker 3: But you just got saucered