Speaker 1: Hi, it's Devon and welcome to this bonus episode. Now
this one's a little different. You see, when I hear
people talking about conscious sensuality and tantra, it's generally misunderstood.
People assume tantra is about strange sexual positions, but it's
really not. It's about a connection with your deeper sensuality.
It's about building confidence. It's about being the person you
are and being proud of it just as you are.
The essence of conscious sensuality covers many bases. It's a
deeply powerful technique. So today I'd like to share a
story with you, one that's quietly powerful, deeply human. It's
about a woman that I will call Christie to protect
her privacy. All the details in the story are true,
So if you're in a place where you'd prefer not
to listen to stories about intimate life and sexuality, you
might want to skip this one. For everyone else, just
take a nice, deep breath and let it go with
a sigh, listening with an open hearted mind. Christy first
came to me at forty six. She'd been in a
long term relationship for many years. To the outside world,
everything looked well ordinary. They share their home routines, responsibilities,
even children. But inside she felt invisible. She felt neglected.
She told me, she felt unwanted, undesired, like the person
everyone relied on to keep the home together. She did
the dishes, but she wasn't seen as a sensual, vibrant person.
She wasn't seen as a complete human. So over time
she'd lost confidence. Not overnight, but bit by bit. The
intimacy and the relationship had dwindled. When sex did happen,
it was cold and prescriptive, something they did on a
Sunday morning, and she thought sensual pleasure was something given
by someone else. If her partner wasn't present or didn't
meet her there, she thought she had no access to it.
We began with small steps, nothing dramatic. Christie told me
later that the idea of relearning how to feel sounded
almost silly at first, as if sensation and desire were
both basic instincts that should just be there. But life
had trained to to look outward for validation, and that
inner connection had gone quiet. So that's where we started.
Central presence. That took no more than five or ten minutes.
It helped to realize that her sensuality was still there.
It had just become ignored and distant. We also worked
with her in a voice. Christie had internalized messages, small
unhelpful messages like you'll pass that, well, that's not for
people like you. We tracked those stories, named them, and
gently rewrote them. Instead of waiting for some one to
say you're desirable, she practiced saying it to herself, quietly,
one word at a time. Another gentle shift was reframing
pleasure as something that lives inside her, not granted by
someone else, something not to be embarrassed by, but to
embraces a beautiful part of her. That idea landed for
her like a door opening. Pleasure as an available, lived experience,
not a reward to be earned or reprised to be
given away. It was hers to give, to enjoy. Within
about three weeks, Christie began to notice a significant change.
It wasn't sudden fireworks at first, It was little, steady things,
she said. There were nights when she went to bed
feeling a warm glow in her body just from paying
attention to her breath. She'd find herself smiling unexpectedly, noticing
the ways sunlight looked on her arms, or how gentle
self touch felt after a long, hard day. These were
the small reclamations on the journey of conscious sensuality. And
then something she hadn't expected. She experienced her first sustained
accessible organism at forty six. She told me she'd assumed
that that moment had passed for her. She believed those
experiences were only for other people. But through constant presence,
breath work, and giving herself permission to fill without shame
or performance, her body remembered, or perhaps learned anew how
to enjoy her deeper pleasure. Once she had opened the
gateway to her newfound sensuality, it just kept growing. She
said that she could become aroused in every day's situations,
dusting the table, grocery shop, or even walking. Not the
kind of arousal that made her desperate for an orgasm,
but the kind of growing, gentle warmth that swelled inside her,
reminding her just how sensual she was in the few
moments her and her partner were intimates. The change was dramatic,
not because of anything he did he hadn't changed, but
because she had connected to her in the sensuality. Now
every touch was electric, every sensation was an avalanche. Of pleasure,
and her satisfaction became mind blowing as her sensual confidence
grew further. As she became more and more present in
her own sensual moments, her mind and body began opening
to new experiences, realizing the inhibitions she felt were imposed
on her by other people they were never hers, and
she began living her authentic sensual life. She was truly
satisfied on every level and all because she took ownership
of her natural sensuality. She described it to me like this,
She was discovering an inner flame, not a flash of
eroticism that needed someone else to light it, but a
steady warmth she could return to, a resource she could
draw on when she wanted, and that resource changed how
she related to her partner, her life, everything around her.
She didn't need him to create her pleasure. She could
bring more of herself to their connection, more presence, more invitation.
The difference opened new possibilities for communication and for a
tenderness between them. Now, this is important, and I want
to be clear on this. Everybody's journey is their own, uniquely,
so Christie's timeline was hers. People come to this with
different histories, different bodies, different layers of nervous system response,
so how you will experience a deeper pleasure will be
uniquely yours. But I do know that by learning how
to be present in your senses, by restoring your permission
to fill and deepening your connection with your natural sensuality,
and practicing simple, consistent exercises can create a meaningful shift,
sometimes sooner than we expect. So if Christie's story resonates
with you, if you recognize that feeling of being unattractive, unsexual, unsensual,
and you want to reclaim your sensuality, is your own
more complimentary audio that can help you begin. It's a
gentle guided meditation called the Inner Flame Gateway. It's about
fifteen minutes long, and it's designed to guide you into
a RESTful state where we can safety open your senses
to your deeper sensuality. Now, you can find the download
link in this episode's notes, or you can come and
see me in a flame dot com. It's a free
invitation to give yourself a moment to focus sensual pleasure.
So if you are ready to go deeper, then you
can take your inner fire even further, as we will
take you through step by step guided audios to reclaim
your sensual presence to indulge in a deeper level of pleasure,
not just in the bedroom, but in daily life, in
the world around you, and intensify the pleasure that you
can experience every single time. So if you'd like to
learn more, you'll find a link in the show's notes. Remember,
Christie's story is a reminder that sensuality is not an
external luxury. It's not a thing you have to earn
or be given. It's a part of you waiting for
permission to be felt. If you're listening today, in something
inside you have softened, that's the beginning. Be kind to yourself,
start small notice, breathe, But for now, thank you for
listening and sharing this time with me. And if this
episode has touched you somewhere deep inside me in the
flame gate where he's waiting for you, or maybe you'd
like to share this episode with someone who might need
a gentle reminder that they're in a flame. It's always there,
attacted a