Speaker 1: And dating, what's safe is risky and what's risky is safe?
Speaker 1: Welcome back to how to Get a Girlfriend podcast Today.
Speaker 1: I want to help you get a girlfriend this way.
Speaker 1: Blow up your next date. Blow it the fuck up,
Speaker 1: blow up your date. If you're tired of dates that
Speaker 1: don't go anywhere, change it up, blow it up. Here's
Speaker 1: what I mean. So long before I became a dating coach,
Speaker 1: I was a lot like you, just an introverted dude, nice, smart,
Speaker 1: but not naturally confident. And I played it safe and
Speaker 1: I was getting kind of fatigued on first dates that
Speaker 1: mostly didn't go anywhere, mostly back in the day for me,
Speaker 1: before I figured it out and kind of cracked the
Speaker 1: code on this whole how to approach and attract and
Speaker 1: connect with women thing. And so long before I was
Speaker 1: a dating coach, I was on a first date with
Speaker 1: a girl named Natalia. I met her on Match And
Speaker 1: at the time, I was so fatigued of dating. You know,
Speaker 1: I wasn't just tired of struggling, but I was also
Speaker 1: getting kind of bored. I wasn't even enjoying dates. There
Speaker 1: was a lot of you know, all the small talk,
Speaker 1: where are you from, what do you do? How many siblings.
Speaker 1: Do you have all those questions that can, you know,
Speaker 1: really drag you down and make a date feel like
Speaker 1: a chore. And I remember I just said, I'm going
Speaker 1: to do something different tonight. I want to try something
Speaker 1: very different. So she and I sit down at some
Speaker 1: irish pub in midtown Manhattan and I say, I have
Speaker 1: an idea. Let's play a game. And she said, what
Speaker 1: do you mean. I said, well, neither of us. Here's
Speaker 1: the game. Neither of us can ask a single question
Speaker 1: on this date that we've ever asked on a date before.
Speaker 1: And she was like, that sounds great. I'm all in.
Speaker 1: We high fived. It's like cool, great, And so I said,
Speaker 1: you go first, ask me anything, and she said, when
Speaker 1: was the last time you cried? And I told her
Speaker 1: the truth. At the end of My Cousin Vinnie, this
Speaker 1: is not a joke. It sounds like a shtick, but
Speaker 1: I'm serious. So at the end of My Cousin Vinnie,
Speaker 1: whenever I watched the end of My Cousin Vinnie and
Speaker 1: he finally gets Ralph Macchio off of those bogus charges,
Speaker 1: and Joe Pesci and my future wife Marisa tome win
Speaker 1: the case, it just I don't know. It got to
Speaker 1: me a couple of times. I said, oh, I cried
Speaker 1: at my cousin Vinnie, and she said, oh my god,
Speaker 1: you're so lame, which she's not wrong. And then we
Speaker 1: just gave each other all these fun, rapid fire anything
Speaker 1: goes questions. I remember I said, Okay, if you could
Speaker 1: punch anybody in the face, who would it be? And
Speaker 1: she said she kind of surprised me with her answer.
Speaker 1: She said, Ted Moseby, the name of the main character
Speaker 1: on How I Met your Mother, Ted, And then she
Speaker 1: explained why she hated Ted Moseby, just that he's a
Speaker 1: character who sucks. And so this went on for a while,
Speaker 1: back and forth, rapid fire questions and all bets were off.
Speaker 1: It's like, what is your greatest fear? And I told
Speaker 1: her or whatever it was, I forget. It's been many years,
Speaker 1: And I asked her. I'm a journalist, or I was
Speaker 1: a professional journalist at the time, so I'm pretty good
Speaker 1: at asking questions and asking some prizing questions. So I
Speaker 1: was really this was just a way for me to
Speaker 1: lean into my strengths of being a good interviewer, a
Speaker 1: good conversationalist. I like to think and then things got
Speaker 1: actually pretty real. About halfway through the date, she said,
Speaker 1: have you ever cheated on a cheated on anybody? Have
Speaker 1: you ever cheated on a partner? And I was like,
Speaker 1: oh shit, this is really getting real. Do I tell
Speaker 1: her the truth? And the truth was that yeah, I
Speaker 1: had cheated on a woman earlier, years earlier, felt terrible
Speaker 1: about it, but it was the truth, and so I said,
Speaker 1: yeah I had, and I really owned it too. I
Speaker 1: remember thinking, yeah, I have, and her reaction was really interesting.
Speaker 1: I had never told a woman that before, certainly not
Speaker 1: on the first date. I don't recommend you tried this
Speaker 1: at home necessarily. This is a this worked for Connell move.
Speaker 1: Your mileage may vary, but I remember her reaction was
Speaker 1: really interesting. Emotionally she pulled back, but physically she leaned forward.
Speaker 1: It was like there was a vibe of damn, this
Speaker 1: guy's actually telling me the truth, combined with but can
Speaker 1: I trust him? She was almost excited, almost for lack
Speaker 1: of a better term, it was almost like WHOA, finally
Speaker 1: a guy who was just telling me the truth. And
Speaker 1: I told the story of the woman I cheated on
Speaker 1: and how it happened and why I didn't go into
Speaker 1: it for ten minutes, but you know, had to tell
Speaker 1: her a little bit about it, and I think it
Speaker 1: actually kind of created trust with her because she realized, Wow,
Speaker 1: he's going to tell me that he's not giving me
Speaker 1: some line of bullshit saying what I want to hear.
Speaker 1: And I just felt really free that night. I felt
Speaker 1: really freeing to let go of all the things I
Speaker 1: felt like I had to say, had to do, and
Speaker 1: just be really spontaneous and in the moment we kiss
Speaker 1: goodnight Italian and I and I remember she texted me.
Speaker 1: I remember she texted me quote, I have this floaty
Speaker 1: feeling I could get used to. This winky emojis pretty
Speaker 1: damn good text message to get back from a woman.
Speaker 1: And before that date with Natalia, I was in a
Speaker 1: little bit of a slump, not getting second dates with
Speaker 1: most of the women I was meeting. And I remember thinking, wow,
Speaker 1: this is pretty cool. I didn't use the term blow
Speaker 1: it up at the time. I just made up the
Speaker 1: term blow it up recently because I thought, Hey, what
Speaker 1: will be a cool different kind of insight to share
Speaker 1: with my audience here, And the insight is give women
Speaker 1: something they're not used to. Break that pattern zag every
Speaker 1: other guy is zigging. You can zag blow up your
Speaker 1: next date. Here's how to do it. Here are three
Speaker 1: rules you can follow. Your mileage may vary, but you
Speaker 1: can certainly give it a try. Three rules to follow
Speaker 1: to blow up your next first date. Rule number one,
Speaker 1: no questions you've ever asked on another date are allowed,
Speaker 1: and you can even say that I've got an idea.
Speaker 1: Let's shake up our date. You don't need to say
Speaker 1: blow it up, but you can say, let's I have
Speaker 1: a fun idea. Let's do something different for our date.
Speaker 1: Let's ask each other any question, as long as it's
Speaker 1: nothing we've ever asked before on a date. I think
Speaker 1: a lot of women will really like that. Rule number
Speaker 1: two for blowing up your next date, no lying, no lying.
Speaker 1: You both have to wear wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth.
Speaker 1: I remember with Natalia, I mimicked having a lasso and
Speaker 1: I threw it around her. I'm like, okay, remember we're
Speaker 1: both wearing the Lasso of Truth and I was wearing
Speaker 1: it two and I really basically acted like I was
Speaker 1: on truth serum. And I used to be such a liar.
Speaker 1: A liar's not the right word. Such a such a
Speaker 1: say what makes her what makes her like me kind
Speaker 1: of guy on previous dates? What does she want to hear?
Speaker 1: What will attract her? What is good? Content? Good? We
Speaker 1: didn't say content back then. What is good? Game? And
Speaker 1: it felt so freeing to just say, you know what,
Speaker 1: let's just tell the truth, drop the guard unguarded, this
Speaker 1: is me warts and all, love it or hate it.
Speaker 1: And I felt really good, really good. So Rule number
Speaker 1: one no questions allowed you've ever asked before on a
Speaker 1: first date. Rule number two no lying. You both must
Speaker 1: wear the wonder Woman lasso of truth. And rule number
Speaker 1: three no trying to give a good answer. Don't think
Speaker 1: through the lens of is this good? Is this attractive?
Speaker 1: Think through the lens of I'm expressing the truth. Think
Speaker 1: express the truth, not impress the girl. Express the truth,
Speaker 1: not impress the girl. Paradoxically, what I've learned from my
Speaker 1: twenty one years in this world of looking at dating
Speaker 1: and studying it fourteen years as a coach, is that
Speaker 1: when you stop trying to impress her and you fully express,
Speaker 1: you actually start getting the kind of attraction and romantic
Speaker 1: sparks you want. So you actually do impress her in
Speaker 1: a way by not trying to impress her one of
Speaker 1: those brain melting things I learned along the way that
Speaker 1: I impart to my clients. Speaking to my clients. Here's
Speaker 1: a quick commercial paid for by me. If you would
Speaker 1: like to talk with me about how my dating coaching works.
Speaker 1: If you want to blow up your next date, or
Speaker 1: blow up your whole dating life and start again and
Speaker 1: get a great girlfriend, then you can do that by
Speaker 1: talking to me. I am a dating coach. I do
Speaker 1: one on one personalized coaching with men. I can coach
Speaker 1: men anywhere in the world. And my specialty, if I
Speaker 1: had to say I have two specialties, it would be
Speaker 1: helping men with approaching knowing what to say and how
Speaker 1: to approach women in a very confident way. And also
Speaker 1: just the act and art flirting, how to flirt, how
Speaker 1: to make sparks, romantic sparks happen so that you never
Speaker 1: run out of things to say, flirting really well, having
Speaker 1: really good dates. So, if you're interested in learning how
Speaker 1: my coaching works, good at Dating Transformation dot com and
Speaker 1: you can book a free call with me today, or
Speaker 1: at least you can book it today. We won't have
Speaker 1: it for a little while, a few days. Anyway, Not
Speaker 1: everybody wants coaching, that's totally cool. If you don't want coaching,
Speaker 1: then I would love to give you something just because
Speaker 1: you're a person listening to my podcast, and that really
Speaker 1: means a lot to me, It really does. I'm a
Speaker 1: huge podcast guy and I have such a strong bond
Speaker 1: with my favorite podcasts. I love The Rest is History,
Speaker 1: I love screw It. We're just going to talk about
Speaker 1: the Beatles. I love of the Rewatchables. The Ringer podcasts
Speaker 1: are awesome, and I have such a strong connection with
Speaker 1: the people on my favorite podcasts. And if you like
Speaker 1: this podcast and want an even stronger connection to me,
Speaker 1: then I want to send you my book. I wrote
Speaker 1: a book came out five years ago called Dating Sucks
Speaker 1: But You Don't did pretty well, hit a couple bestseller lists,
Speaker 1: and I want to send it to you for free.
Speaker 1: So if you want a free copy of my book,
Speaker 1: email me Connell at Dating Transformation dot com. Just put
Speaker 1: free book in the subject. I will see your email
Speaker 1: soon and I'll send you a PDF of my book.
Speaker 1: You can instantly get it start reading it. So email
Speaker 1: Connell at Dating Transformation dot com to get that all. Right,
Speaker 1: back to blowing up dates, here's a story. When I
Speaker 1: started blowing up my dates, I knew I was onto something,
Speaker 1: and I said, all right, I want to make sure
Speaker 1: I give every woman on every first date the full
Speaker 1: Connell experience, going full Connell. And I remember I had
Speaker 1: a first date with a woman I was really excited about.
Speaker 1: And if you're anything like I used to be, when
Speaker 1: you're really excited about a woman, in a way, it
Speaker 1: kind of gets you in your head and can make
Speaker 1: you play it safe and can make you like play
Speaker 1: a prevent defense. And they say in the NFL, if
Speaker 1: you play that prevent defense, they call it the prevent
Speaker 1: defense because it prevents you from winning. And I remember
Speaker 1: I had a first date lined up with this really
Speaker 1: beautiful woman, an actress from Eastern Europe. I forget her name.
Speaker 1: I wish I could remember it, but I'll call her Lena. Beautiful, slender, brunette,
Speaker 1: just dynamite, gorgeous actress. I met her. I met her
Speaker 1: at a Tony Robbins event, so we had a lot
Speaker 1: in common. We met at this Tony Robbins event. I
Speaker 1: approached her, we chatted, I got her number, and turns
Speaker 1: out she lives in New York and we went on
Speaker 1: a first date, and I remember going to the end
Speaker 1: of the date thinking to myself, don't play it safe,
Speaker 1: play it risky, because what does every guy do with
Speaker 1: this beautiful woman, actress dynamite? I look, every guy, not
Speaker 1: every guy, dozens of guys at the Tony Robbins event
Speaker 1: we're talking about this woman. Or she was one of
Speaker 1: those women who were like, oh yeah, did you see
Speaker 1: that girl? Oh my god. She was even on stage
Speaker 1: with Tony at one point, so she got everybody's attention anyway.
Speaker 1: So I was excited to have a first date with her.
Speaker 1: I was also nervous because I was like, damn, how's
Speaker 1: it gonna go? She gonna like me, wouldn't it be
Speaker 1: amazing if we hooked up or if we dated? And
Speaker 1: those kinds of thoughts about the outcome can actually create
Speaker 1: it create a block. So that makes it harder for
Speaker 1: you to get the outcome because it makes you play
Speaker 1: it safe. And there's a really cool paradox that one
Speaker 1: of my coaches taught me back in the day. He
Speaker 1: used to say to me, Connell and dating, what's safe
Speaker 1: is risky, and what's risky is safe. I thought that
Speaker 1: was kind of a cool little mind blower. What did
Speaker 1: he mean by that? Well, what he meant was And
Speaker 1: I tell my clients the same thing, that what you
Speaker 1: think is risky, like making a move, telling a woman
Speaker 1: she's sexy, doing a bold approach. It feels risky to
Speaker 1: you because you're pushing your comfort zone, but it's actually
Speaker 1: a very safe, smart dating move to make because women
Speaker 1: like boldness, women like a man who goes for it.
Speaker 1: At the same time, what feels safe hanging back, being mysterious,
Speaker 1: not letting her know if you like her, or other cautiousness,
Speaker 1: walking on eggshells, so to speak. That might feel safe
Speaker 1: in the moment because you're not stretching your comfort zone,
Speaker 1: but it's very risky because you risk a woman feeling
Speaker 1: like you're just not a guy who goes for it.
Speaker 1: And generally speaking, a quality, beautiful, attractive woman wants a
Speaker 1: guy who knows when and how to take risks. So
Speaker 1: risky is safe and what's safe is risky. And I
Speaker 1: had that mindset as I walk into the Tempest Bar
Speaker 1: in Chelsea. No longer there Chelsea's there, Tempest is not.
Speaker 1: And I walk into this really cool, fun dive bar
Speaker 1: for my first date with Lena, and I'm thinking all right,
Speaker 1: play it risky. Don't force it, but play it risky,
Speaker 1: because risky is safe. Safe is risky. And this is
Speaker 1: a variation of blowing up the date. This is part
Speaker 1: of the theme here. By the way, do not try
Speaker 1: this at home what I'm about to say to you.
Speaker 1: Do not say this to a woman, but know that
Speaker 1: it It's what I said. So I get to the
Speaker 1: bar and I'm waiting for Lena, and I sit down
Speaker 1: in this area of the bar sectioned off kind of
Speaker 1: a dark quiet area, seats about fifteen people, and it's
Speaker 1: just me, maybe one other person. However, before Lena arrives,
Speaker 1: a whole cross team of dudes shows up. I think
Speaker 1: it was a lacrosse team. They had just finished a
Speaker 1: practice nearby, and they're all having post practice drinks at
Speaker 1: Tempest Fun little grungey dive bar in Chelsea, and all
Speaker 1: of these beefy shorts wearing sweaty twenty something lacrosse dudes
Speaker 1: enter this area and sit all around me and near me,
Speaker 1: so eight or ten guys, quite the visual. They're there
Speaker 1: for a few minutes and then Lena arrives for our date,
Speaker 1: and I stand up to greet her, give her a
Speaker 1: little hug. She sees where I am. I'm surrounded by
Speaker 1: all of these sweaty men in this small room, and
Speaker 1: she looks at me and smiles and sort of is
Speaker 1: assessing the situation. And I said to her, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I thought you might want to have a gangbang. I
Speaker 1: don't know where that came from. It was just a
Speaker 1: spontaneous thing. I read the situation and I thought, you
Speaker 1: know what, I'm just going to say the first thing
Speaker 1: that comes into my mind. And it wasn't planned, I
Speaker 1: wasn't scripting that. It just came out of the moment.
Speaker 1: I saw her looking at all these guys, and I thought, well,
Speaker 1: let me just say the thing. And she laughed so loud.
Speaker 1: She thought it was hilarious and it was a great
Speaker 1: ice breaker. Again, I cannot state this enough. Do not
Speaker 1: make a gang bang joke at the start of your
Speaker 1: first date. Not for every guy. But in a weird way,
Speaker 1: somehow it was the right thing to say to Lena.
Speaker 1: Maybe I did some computation in my head. I could
Speaker 1: tell from the Tony Robbins event that she was a
Speaker 1: free spirit, she had a good sense of humor. We
Speaker 1: did talk for ten or fifteen minutes there and I
Speaker 1: could get a sense for her how she was on stage.
Speaker 1: Definitely a fun person with a good sense of humor.
Speaker 1: I would not say that as a go to move
Speaker 1: at all, But anyway, that was my gang bang joke
Speaker 1: that I made with Lina, and it helped the date
Speaker 1: kick off in a really fun way. And it actually
Speaker 1: went pretty well, went pretty well, and it was a
Speaker 1: good It was a small example, not a small example,
Speaker 1: but a micro context specific example of me blowing up
Speaker 1: the date. I wanted her to know. On some level,
Speaker 1: I knew that I wanted her to know that I'm
Speaker 1: not like other guys. I'm not gonna sit here and
Speaker 1: interview you and ask you how your day was, at
Speaker 1: least not for too long. Play it safe. I'll make
Speaker 1: the raw joke, I'll make the gang bang joke. I'll
Speaker 1: go for it. And the other thing. I remember we
Speaker 1: went to a second location and she straight up asked me.
Speaker 1: She wasn't quite clear if this was a date or not.
Speaker 1: I think she just wasn't sure, and I said, hell, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a date. I don't bring my lacrosse buddies
Speaker 1: out to meet just anybody, but yeah, this is a date.
Speaker 1: So I didn't play it cool. I didn't play it safe.
Speaker 1: I didn't hold cards back. I let her know that
Speaker 1: I really liked her or I was I was starting
Speaker 1: to like her, and we ended up at my place.
Speaker 1: We watched we actually watched a movie she was in
Speaker 1: in whatever, the Eastern European cinema, some European movie, and
Speaker 1: she it was really funny. She said, hey, do you
Speaker 1: have Netflix? And we've called up her movie on Netflix.
Speaker 1: She's like, oh, I want to watch this scene. All
Speaker 1: of a sudden, I'm watching a beautiful half naked woman
Speaker 1: in her lingerie on the movie screen. And I look
Speaker 1: at the movie and I looked to my right on
Speaker 1: my couch, and I'm like, that's you. It was really
Speaker 1: fun and it was a really good date. And I
Speaker 1: don't remember what else I blew up about that date,
Speaker 1: but I just remember that moment so blowing this idea
Speaker 1: of blowing up a date. It doesn't mean every single
Speaker 1: moment of every date has to be wild and weird
Speaker 1: and crazy. You just want to give her an experience
Speaker 1: that she hasn't had before. And there's a par there's
Speaker 1: a paradox here. Maybe is that the right word or dichotomy?
Speaker 1: You want to blow up the date by being a
Speaker 1: very relatable, authentic version of you, which is just being you,
Speaker 1: but giving her the fun the patterned variety, pattern break
Speaker 1: of variety of a very different date. So when I
Speaker 1: say blow up the date, I am not saying be different,
Speaker 1: be somebody, or not say weird, weird, crazy, not normal stuff,
Speaker 1: absolut fusolutely not be even more you. That Gang Bang joke.
Speaker 1: That is my sense of humor. At least it was
Speaker 1: that night, in that moment, and I have a pretty
Speaker 1: raunchy sense of humor. I'll make a raunchy, raw joke,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna hide that. That's the kind of
Speaker 1: joke I might make with my personal trainer when we're
Speaker 1: just shooting the shit at the gym, but I'll do
Speaker 1: it on a date. I'm not afraid to go to
Speaker 1: that place. Now, not every woman likes that. I have
Speaker 1: plenty of stories of me failing. Maybe that's a whole
Speaker 1: separate episode. I once let me just be really honest
Speaker 1: with you. I once blew up a day, and it
Speaker 1: actually blew up in a bad way. I had a
Speaker 1: date where I thought, I'm just going to be totally
Speaker 1: real and honest with this woman, and we started talking
Speaker 1: about the first We started talking about our youth and
Speaker 1: early sexual discoveries, and somehow, some way the topic got
Speaker 1: onto masturbation and I told her about the first time
Speaker 1: I touched myself and I didn't do it in a
Speaker 1: vulgar way. It happened somewhat organically, I think my memory.
Speaker 1: And I talked about it a couple times on other dates,
Speaker 1: and a couple of women really liked the vulnerability talking about, oh,
Speaker 1: the first time I discovered my body, And it was
Speaker 1: a really honest, open conversation, and it blew up with
Speaker 1: this other woman. She said, why are you talking about this?
Speaker 1: I don't want to talk about this, and that's fair.
Speaker 1: That's fair. So I will not lie to you. Dear listener,
Speaker 1: When you blow up a date, you risk blowing up
Speaker 1: the date, but you also give yourself a really good
Speaker 1: chance of a strong, making a strong, amazing impact on
Speaker 1: that woman and making you memorable in a good way
Speaker 1: and making her want to see you again. That's what
Speaker 1: I'm getting at here. So I'm not gonna bullshit you
Speaker 1: and pretend like this is an instant quick fix that'll
Speaker 1: make every woman want a second date with you. The
Speaker 1: idea here is that it makes you more polarizing at
Speaker 1: least or more. Maybe polarizing is too strong of a word.
Speaker 1: It makes you more impactful for a woman who for
Speaker 1: a woman who really likes your type. But yeah, don't
Speaker 1: talk about masturbation. I'm not saying that, and don't make
Speaker 1: gang bang jokes. I'm just giving you extreme examples of
Speaker 1: blowing up the date. You can blow up the date
Speaker 1: this way. It can be this simple. Here's a great example.
Speaker 1: This is my third date with my girlfriend Jess. Now
Speaker 1: my girlfriend Jess very simple. I said, hey, I have
Speaker 1: an idea. Let's do a reverse date. We were planning
Speaker 1: date number three. I was so into her. I still
Speaker 1: am years later. I was so into her and really
Speaker 1: liking her, and I'm like, Okay, I want to do
Speaker 1: something fun and different for our third date, kind of surprising,
Speaker 1: And I said, let's do dessert first. Let's do a
Speaker 1: dessert first date. We'll start off getting cheesecake at this fancy,
Speaker 1: cool cheese cake place, and then we'll go to this
Speaker 1: cool restaurant. So it can be that simple. That's a
Speaker 1: little baby blow up of a date, just doing something
Speaker 1: a little twist on what people are used to, so
Speaker 1: it can be as simple as that. Dessert first is
Speaker 1: a blow update. Another example of a blow update. This
Speaker 1: is really great, especially now that summer's here, if you
Speaker 1: can find a way to do this. I called it
Speaker 1: a devious date at the time. I remember telling friends
Speaker 1: I had a devious date. A devious date is when
Speaker 1: you and she do something a little bit naughty. What
Speaker 1: is that. I don't mean sexually, I mean you do
Speaker 1: something together that's a little bit naughty. I dated a
Speaker 1: woman from match dot com back man. This was probably
Speaker 1: fifteen plus years ago. We had a date. I think
Speaker 1: it was our second date. Our first date was karaoke,
Speaker 1: which is very basic, not a blow update. But then
Speaker 1: I thought, all right, what can we do that's different
Speaker 1: for the second date. And it was a heat wave.
Speaker 1: It was like July or August, and so I said,
Speaker 1: I have an idea. I know this hotel, and I
Speaker 1: think I know how we can sneak in and use
Speaker 1: the hotel pool, which is only for the guests. But
Speaker 1: we can sneak in because you know, I know the property.
Speaker 1: Somehow I knew it was a hotel where the pool
Speaker 1: was on the ground level. So if you could just
Speaker 1: get in the hotel and walk into the pool area
Speaker 1: while somebody else opened the door. Since I don't have
Speaker 1: a key card, you can get into the pool and
Speaker 1: you're not officially supposed to use the pool unless you're
Speaker 1: at the hotel. But we snuck in and so it
Speaker 1: was really fun. It was like the two of us
Speaker 1: were collaborating. It had a swim up bar, which was
Speaker 1: really cool. You just swim up, you order a drink.
Speaker 1: It was so fun. And that was like a devious,
Speaker 1: devious thing to do together. By devious, I just mean,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't mean don't don't go shoplifting together,
Speaker 1: don't commit any actual crimes please, but it's okay to
Speaker 1: break a rule don't dine and ditch. I do not
Speaker 1: sign off on that. But sneak into a pool, or
Speaker 1: if there's some kind of sneaky thing that the two
Speaker 1: of you can do together that creates a really fun
Speaker 1: connection the two, it's like the two of you against
Speaker 1: the world. So those would be some ways to blow
Speaker 1: up the date. So anyway, go think about at least
Speaker 1: one or two ways you can blow up the date.
Speaker 1: And the simplest thing to do is just what I
Speaker 1: mentioned earlier. On your next first date, say hey, I
Speaker 1: have an idea. One rule for tonight's date. Tell me
Speaker 1: if you're in. No questions allowed that we've asked on
Speaker 1: previous dates. We can only ask each other new, different questions,
Speaker 1: totally random. Ask me anything that alone will make your
Speaker 1: next date stand out and give you a really great
Speaker 1: chance for a second date. All right, thanks for listening
Speaker 1: until next time.