Speaker 1: Connie Gallo row Dirty Conny, did the can join the
Questing is uncharted?
Speaker 2: Join the ticy Baster.
Speaker 3: Six writers face off quiet roll of the dice felt
quite dirty, leaving.
Speaker 1: Nothing behind but fingerprits and a tall tale stealing carts,
breaking parts with plenty of time to kill and icy.
Speaker 2: Maasters ten dis always ticing, and you know the Cabby
Tasty Fasts become.
Speaker 1: To join the dice Faster.
Speaker 2: Hey, they're A and Dvians Junior Adventures and friends. Welcome
to the next episode of The Dicey Bassard Season two.
I'm MK Gibson, your host, dungeon Master and author of
such books as a Technomnswer series The Shadow of the Master,
series of which The Villain's Academy will soon be out
on audio. I'm told by my narrator, quote soon, who
do we have me? Today?
Speaker 4: We have?
Speaker 2: Let's start with Robert Bevin, Bobby b How you doing, sir?
Speaker 4: Hello? Friends, doing all right? How are you you know what?
Speaker 2: That's the first time is anybody's ever asked me. I
appreciate that, sir.
Speaker 5: Thank you.
Speaker 2: I am doing well.
Speaker 1: Dog.
Speaker 2: I mean it's polite, like I only am asking you
because it's in the fucking script. But how are you doing, Bevin?
Speaker 4: Who are you doing? All right? Yes, I'm supposed to
introduce myself and everything, sure if you want to, all right, yeah.
Speaker 2: Ten years anytime now, it's the best of times.
Speaker 4: You don't care how I'm doing.
Speaker 2: Actually I do. I legitimuinely care.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 2: I even wrote to you today, so I hope you
have fun. Bah blah blah. So you piss off.
Speaker 4: You wrote to me to make sure I show up?
Speaker 2: And what did I say after that?
Speaker 5: Like you said, this thing can have more than one purpose,
So I really.
Speaker 2: Hope you hope it's worth your time today, So clearly
it's not, so show your ship and let's move on.
Speaker 4: That's like Robert Bevitt here, author of the Caverns and
Creatures series of comedy fantasy novels and short stories. II
on here, I play the role of jewelcerer, the sorcerer,
the sorcerer with the mulcerer, and uh, there you go.
Speaker 2: Pretty good dude, all right, the man with no elf esteem?
Rick Waltery, how you doing, sir?
Speaker 6: I'm almost kind of afraid to answer that question now,
but I am you have no elf esteem? Yeah? Well,
well no, what the hell am I doing because considering
how the last one went, But I'm kind of method
gaming today. I just came in from doing hard work,
so I'm pretty sure I smell about as good as
Move normally does.
Speaker 1: I go, you're gonna say I'm back game today. I
just came in from the Dragon al.
Speaker 2: I just choked out to some kid with pointy ears.
I don't know, I might be going to check I'm
a vulcan. You look like Enelf to me, Pastor. It's
like that one vulcan who goes to the Renaissance fair
and boltis just on. I'm like big on, sting on ship,
shuking him down.
Speaker 6: If that were the case, I wouldn't be admitting it
on the air.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I was listening.
Speaker 4: That is the shittiest alibi I've ever heard.
Speaker 6: John Oh is listening, and he's probably just waiting to
goll the FBI on us.
Speaker 4: Anyway.
Speaker 6: My name is ricwil Terry and I play Move face
Heater in real life by right several things, but uh
my latest one, Mike the Werewolf, will be almost done soon,
and until then, go pick up the audio books of
Time Tasher and boor War.
Speaker 2: Love it, dude, all right, mister Hayes, how you doing, sir?
Speaker 5: Half horse, half horse, half horse, half horse. He runs
across the Kingdom as fest as he can go, but
to keep using this song will trigger copy right. So
my name is Drew Hayes. I'm the author of books
such as Superpowers in PC's Villain's Code, and in this game,
I played Coubert the Expedient. I don't even know what
song that was, Uh doctor horrible sing along blog shout
out for all the deep cuts. It wasn't mister Ed.
I know that it was not. I already used mister Ed.
I'm having to dig deeper on horse content.
Speaker 2: I don't know if this was like like, because I'm
not a theater on like did they sing this in
Ley Miws or some shit like that.
Speaker 5: No, I will eventually find a way to work in
a Cabert riff on a Javert song. But you know,
we'll get there.
Speaker 4: We'll get there.
Speaker 5: We got a bill.
Speaker 6: We'll waiting for a horse with no name next.
Speaker 5: But he has a name.
Speaker 4: It's Cobert.
Speaker 5: I just established that.
Speaker 1: That's some sort of horse orientated copyright lawyer out there.
He is just waiting for Drew to slip up he's.
Speaker 5: Like he was, Hey had the timer, just waiting as
right as a cough.
Speaker 2: Five point the lady who will live every single one
of us, Miss Kaplan. How are you, ma'am?
Speaker 3: I'm great. I'm one hundred and twenty three years old,
and I'm waiting to you all the passaway so i
can get your cop rights.
Speaker 2: I'm one, two three, this many, I'm win you three.
Speaker 3: I'm Emily. I play Claudia the Rogue, all right, Josie
Tucker Mysteries, and I believe the game is a foot today, hopefully.
Speaker 2: I hope so as well. Let's see who else is afoot?
Steve your foot?
Speaker 1: Uh I don't know, man, it's been a long weekend.
Maybe hey, come Steve wherever? Will I play stan Dan?
They live? You'll be abreast? Oh sorry, well yeah probably?
I mean I'm in great shape. Uh yeah, I had
a lie. Never you've just fucking deawailed it by my
books on the internet. Go game.
Speaker 2: Uh you know what, I'm gonna skip over all the
shilling crap. Hey, you know what, We're all there's and dragons.
Speaker 4: You know who we are?
Speaker 2: Go to Discord, Go to our Patreon, go to like
what is it Dasherie, Haberdasherie, go for your crap, dasher
buy a T shirt. At this point of the game, folks,
you know who we are. Go buy our stuff. You
know who we are. Support us in some way, share
it with your friends, share everything. But we got a
game to play, So let's get into this game. Greetings, all,
this is Connie Stan's conscience.
Speaker 4: How are you?
Speaker 2: When we last left the Dicey Vassards, they'd snuck onto
the Grand Whimsy inside of cargo crates, but as it
turns out, all they to do was walk on board
just goun the ship, because the crew do that some
tom fully was a foot. After meeting with the cruise
director Julie, the team were informed that Captain Vaughan munch
Rugger that a murder had taken place on the vessel
five thousand Gold and unlimited passage of bond. The Grand
Whimsy up for the team that discovered the culprit. Would
it be the Dicey Vassars or the totally innocent party.
The crew has then shown the body of an elf
named Beth, who is Julie's replacement. Poor poor Beth Joyce
Werer and what going into detective mode demanded that everyone
touch him and uses accumulative filth for fingerprints. After a
few rolls of the dice, the team found out that
Beth was not killed by anything of the natural world.
Growing bored with murder, Stan led the team back to
the stateroom for preper merriment, relaxation, and whores. Each team
member had a cup that magically filled with whatever drink
they desired within reason. Geors were still in detective mode,
demanded that cup be filled with the killer's blood and
then later sweat. After tasting frothy beverages, georyser got a
sense of something infernal. Determined, he then sniffed, licked, and
lord does what else with the entire team, And that's
where he picked up everybody feeling totally violated with Joyce
or having sniffed all of.
Speaker 1: You, we did take a shower for exactly eight minutes.
Speaker 5: I think carrying that description it reminds me that like
originally Sherlock was meant to be very off putting and uncomfortable,
and you know, modern Sherlock captures that by just having
him be a quippy asshole. But if we're really big, honest,
Jorser is capturing that vibe, perhaps more fundamentally than the
modern translation.
Speaker 4: Now, I remember, I remember sniffing everyone and there's sweat,
but I don't remember the infernal part is that to say,
is demon sweat?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 2: Yes, actually so when you when you dig your roles
and you dig your checks, and you want to know
about this blood and you were sniffing the blood and
you gotta then you change it. You try to get
the blood analyzed, and you try to pass the cup over.
The blood disappear because it's personalized to you.
Speaker 1: Uh.
Speaker 2: You then asked for a cup of the killer sweat
and you sniffed it, tasted it, drank a little bit
of it, almost puked it up. It didn't. But because
you've been around your quoset and uh moogs, your guys
as your your quoset and your imp uh so jimp
and I forget the closet, that's name Karen, Karen. They
are both of infernal things. You definitely got a hint
to like something about this killer is infernal.
Speaker 4: Interesting.
Speaker 1: Stan will return from the shower in a robe, speedos
and his hat.
Speaker 6: And Moog would just like to clarify murder her or killer.
It's harsh words, Moog like might like to think of
elf Killer as hero.
Speaker 1: You're right, we can't jod Jenny Whate until we have
the complete fast move. How very fair of you. Anyway,
I'm sure justice is a footz.
Speaker 2: Remember this is still the mornings. You guys got there
early in the morning. You can talk to the captains,
so this is still the same. So it's like roughly
you like, it's nine ten am by this point.
Speaker 1: Justice is the body part of your choice.
Speaker 2: So would any be like a breakdown of the of
the variety rooms again that are aboard the Grand Whimsy.
Speaker 1: I think we went through this extensively. I seem to
remember there was whores.
Speaker 2: Yes, you have the the page. Okay, well I was
gonna run down it. Okay, now I'll shut up. So, yeah,
there's a whorehouse and there's a holid deck. What other
wilds do we need? Coors make swept? That's true, but
for the for the listeners are for the group one
more time. You've got the spa knows, the paper champ,
the gym, the flex deck, the bar, restaurant, the impossible taste,
the pool, wet dreams, survival games, play your day Away,
the theater, show boating, the sex club, ub no hole's barred,
the library, the Booknook, the Zoo, Pandemonium, Theater, camp for
your Inner Thesbian Obstacle course, Hodgepodge Dodge, and the yoga
studio known as Bend You over.
Speaker 4: All right, a lot of these could produce sweat.
Speaker 1: Yes, but I like your first idea.
Speaker 6: I mean it's true.
Speaker 1: Did anyone here have any reason why sex work and
Mike not sweat?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: I didn't think so. Somebody chucked that man at jaucer
a snack, good one.
Speaker 4: Josey, you hire the whores and I shall observe.
Speaker 5: Yeah, of course he likes the.
Speaker 2: Why of course?
Speaker 5: All right, Cabera is going to take that as a
queue to get the fuck out of there. I will
investigate Hodgepodge Dodge so interesting fun for agility and ample
opportunity to see.
Speaker 2: Okay, now, I will remind you all of that. Why
are you wearing your little bracelets? There are some wackness
will be a foot once you go into each of
these rooms. We'll keep this in minders later on, and
I hope you told you before. Please for the moment,
keep a copy of your stats as they are now. Yes,
so all right, So we'll start with the horse. Who
wants to go well, some of the whorehouse first, who
wants to go to the whorehouse?
Speaker 1: Okay, gang, let's split up and look for booze or clues,
one of those see you back here in Free Days.
Speaker 6: Mook was originally going to go to the whorehouse. But
now that he knows about Georgser, the voy your.
Speaker 2: Nice, we'll play.
Speaker 5: AD's an element to it, it really does.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think I'll go with the Cabert.
Speaker 2: All right, so Georser on this side stands going there,
Moog and Cabert over here, You guys are going to
uh uh the Hodgepodge Dodge and Claudia where.
Speaker 3: You He originally wanted to go to the zoo, but
she thinks going to the whorehouse will be very similar,
so she'll go with with them.
Speaker 5: Claudia savage as ever, Okay, we'll start with the whores.
Speaker 1: Not I think about it, we probably should have sent
Kibet to the zoo. That would have been useful, but
I didn't think of it, so sorry, guys.
Speaker 4: I did.
Speaker 5: I just thought he would rather go to the agility course. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also say with that Kapa is going to do anything
I ask him to which, let's be real, this is
not really how the group dynamic work, all.
Speaker 2: Right, So we should also have a team bucket up
here so we don't see it. Cool, all right, So
Bob quick a second. We're moving into the brothel and
we'll start with these guys first. All right. So you
go out your main doors, you go into the decks
and you find all the different portals because on the
one deck or all the portals eaven to the activities,
you see a lot of there's a lot of people
lying up to going to the brothel. So you walk in,
go through the portal and boom. As as you walk in,
it's wow, wow, wow. All the music is playing, the
lights are low. Is when you walk in, there's a
there you immediately get hit with that scent of that
musk there are. There is a lot going on here.
So coming into coming into the room, immediately, do you
see the ropes the magic the ropes that are right
there in front of you, Uh, prevent anybody from under
age from entering the.
Speaker 1: Brothel, thanks very sure.
Speaker 2: Right ahead of you, to your left, you will see
the torture dungeon for those who happen to be into
b DSM above. That's your upper left. There is a
bar section four to rehydrate your fluids directly dead centers,
effectually known as the pile. You get in and whatever
happens happens. You have several beds that are out in
the open for pleasure, for watching or for wanking. To
the northeast. You have a pen where the druid himself
will training to do any animal of your pleasure. That way,
it doesn't make it any more weird than it actually
has to be, knowing that it is not really an animal,
but as a person turning into an animal for your consent.
And then private rooms of the very very north.
Speaker 1: Yeah, nice caveat in the end, gave you here welcome.
I'm sure many of our listeners are animal focused and they.
Speaker 2: Need nothing says. We love our fans like calling them
animal fuck That's.
Speaker 1: For you, guys. You don't have to feel bad old
at the time. Not in this well, they're fantasy hooray.
Speaker 6: You know, junior adventurers are starting to get a little old.
Maybe we need to do title animal fuckers.
Speaker 2: Sure, what's up? Horse fockers, badger biers.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Stan will say to Keba, not Claudia. Now, Claudia,
I may appear to be the affectation of a horny
old man, but here is my reasoning, and he will
adjust his ropen speedout. Basically, when people go to a
house of repute such as this, they tend to get
a little bit, a little bit chatty in the afterglow,
if you will, a bit of pillow talk. So talking
to these working girls and gentlemen is probably the most
likely to get as the skinny the lowdown on this place. Also, late.
Speaker 3: Claudie's just standing there, wide eyed, jaw slack, looking around.
She's here to steal stuff.
Speaker 2: Well, make your way and let me know whatever it
is you want to do.
Speaker 3: People in the part, oh, I'm assuming they don't have
clothes on. Are there clothes?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 2: Some do, some don't. It is just a giant pile
of bearskin. So there's it's a lot of flesh there is. Uh,
some people like some people like me. It's got going
to the pool. Some people that don't want what they
want to wear a shirt while they go swimming. Some people, uh,
they might be donald ducking it. You know, there's some nudity.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Some people like just pull things to the side. You know,
some people like to do it through the hole.
Speaker 3: So oh okay, got it. Where do they stash their belongings.
Speaker 2: It's kind of all over the perimeter of the pile.
Speaker 3: Nice. Okay, she's gonna scoot your way that way.
Speaker 1: Okay, Joseph, I assume cloth he is looking for information
for solving this murder case. She's definitely gone for that
man's pants.
Speaker 4: You're thinking the pile is a good way to rule
out a lot of suspects at once.
Speaker 2: That is true.
Speaker 4: Oh no, I shall refill my cup with the sweats
of the murderer. Take a good long sniff.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 4: As I take off my clothes and approach, I'm looking
for people with horns or tails or hoops.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put you over towards the pile. You go
into as deep into the pile as you feel comfortable.
Right now, I put you on the throor.
Speaker 6: Aren't too late?
Speaker 1: You didn't go there, Kabar, he's basically a sniffer dog.
At this point, this is going to stop licking strangers.
Speaker 2: You go up to the pile and like, like, give
me one. They're very people are very occupied with what's
going on, because you know, they're in the middle of,
you know, an orgy. It's a good ten am orgy,
you know, like it's a pre brunch orgy. So give
me a persuasion role, get anybody to notice you.
Speaker 4: I don't really want people to notice me.
Speaker 2: You just said hello.
Speaker 4: I always say that, Okay.
Speaker 5: And it's always at tension grabbing every time.
Speaker 4: Doesn't mean it's intentional, but all.
Speaker 5: Right, well, fair enough. Fifty percent of the time it
works every time.
Speaker 1: He could be using it in the brave sense. He
could have been about to follow up with what's all this?
Speaker 2: Then I just kind of I kind of through some
just random folks in there, but like you're looking for
things in infernal I would say there's at least one
or two teethlings that are in there, so they they
definitely have infernal lineage.
Speaker 4: Excellent, all right, What should I roll to, you know,
start sniffing without being too conspicuous, or should I just
like cannonball in there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're in a funk pile, dude, it's already conspicuous
being conspicuous, Like do I, How do I do I?
Speaker 2: There's so many layers down back, you know, just roll
something over the little fuck and fly with it. You
just you just said that.
Speaker 1: Bulls deep in someone. How do I sniff this guy discreetly?
Speaker 2: I don't animal handling, okay, A twelve. Uh, you know
you got your enterprime, you got your musk rolling. It's
you know, it's it's above average. So you know, you
you start wading your way into the pile. You're kind
of like you definitely there's a sniff from a certain direction,
but like you're there's a lot of you know, there's
a lot of just crotch and ass and and sweat
and you know, so you're it's kind of hard to
distinguish what's going on.
Speaker 4: All right, Tom, Well I'm gonna I'm gonna continue snipping
for a while. You can go on to somebody else.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool. Uh, Claudia, you're trying to steal some stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she found anything yet money clues.
Speaker 2: I mean, there are some clothes that are like laying
around kind of thing. Now you will notice that there
is one guy on the bed who's kind of like
he's kind of like doing that unfortunate he's like that
that voyeuristic watch. He's not really touching himself, but just
kind of like, you know, kind of touching himself. He's
to the northeast. Is merchant up there, And there's also
the bartenders over here to the left who are also
watching the stuff for the pile. So if you're trying
to steal anything, give me a slight of hand roll. Okay,
all right, that's pretty good. Let me see, give me
some dice. Roll three dice for a one for each
of these guys. One guy's at the natural twenty uh
So this this shirtless gentleman here who is very buff,
looks like he's like a monk descent, is like he's
he sees you. You see him, he sees you. He's like,
m mmm.
Speaker 3: She'll just h pretend to try on the clothes and
then I'm assuming they're too big. But she does like
to wear costumes there.
Speaker 2: There's a variety of clothes. Also. He's like he's watching
like he he gives you like it gives you a
look that like those are not your clothes, ma'am. So
she'll put them back down there, It is Stan, what
do you want to do?
Speaker 1: Mm? Carefully ignoring his colleagues, Stan will approach the bar. Okay,
and let's stop making general inquiries, all right.
Speaker 2: So you definitely see a shirtless guy with like you know,
he's he's buff, he's he's he's he's hairless, he's shaped
pretty snipples, and he's been he's gotten an eye on
Claudia right now. Uh, he's kind of like look away
from her. She's like, gonta do.
Speaker 1: Free, bud. I'm glad. I don't know that women a
fine dry white wine, if you would please my kids?
Speaker 2: Did you not bring your cup? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Well, what's the point of this fucking pot?
Speaker 2: And uh, well, I mean I don't know if you
want to ask anything special, I mean you could.
Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I just like a handsome man to
bring me a drink.
Speaker 2: Oh, we could do that too, And he under gets it.
Some people leave their cup back in the room. Some
people bring it with them. You know, it's your call.
So I'm just asking, did you bring your cup?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 2: Okay, well me I'll give you a drink here.
Speaker 3: I don't know what these cups look like, but now
I'm imagining, you know, like plastic with light up bottom
and it says whimsie.
Speaker 2: It's a Marty garral style, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the wonderful thing about faith of the mind,
strongest idea wins, so it stands. Previously quite tasteful cup
just transforms into that monstrosity.
Speaker 2: Now, Ellie, the light's flashing. Yeah, I don't want to
drink out of this. Every time you take a sip,
it's like it's proper drink in a normal glass. Please please,
Shania Twain's girls, you know, Okay, get he'll he'll make
a nice right white wine spritzer for you and put
it up on the bar.
Speaker 1: So if you worked here long, Bob passing.
Speaker 2: Uh, Dale, and I've been working here for about oh
h it's my third no, fourth year, fourth year on the.
Speaker 1: Whimsy Oh yeah, is on the whimsday, ain't now? I
assume you had about the Great salimad.
Speaker 2: Ah, poor Beth.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We've been trying to keep it low then for the staff.
The staff knows, but uh, we're keeping it away from
the crew, which means that you're probably mean. Guess you
don't look very innocent. You're probably one of the bastards.
Speaker 1: Aren't you. Yeah, sure, why not? I'm perfectly innocent as
far as this boat knows.
Speaker 2: That Speedo, Sir says, says to the contrary.
Speaker 1: It is something of a crime. But uh, I'm with
all a little bit guilty in this room. Eh yes, yeah,
so yeah, poor dad math did you know well what
she well liked? Did she have anybody who, for.
Speaker 4: Instance, I want to marry?
Speaker 2: I mean she was working directly under Julie, so she
was kind of like the the secondary cruise director. So
when Julie wasn't around, she was and she was the
next in charge. She was training to take over the
lead position, like basically the director for like this talent
like talent relation and stand they're they're basically the captain's
right hand.
Speaker 1: They do everything talent relation. You say, did she deal
with many infannels?
Speaker 2: I mean he points around to the room. There's like
a couple of professional prostitutes over on that bed. There's
a tee fling over that bed, like like flating an
aera coca. Uh, there's you know, there's probably one or
two more over there in the the private bedrooms. There's
definitely one. We keep. People do like the te flings
because they like it's kind of like they like that
hot goth guy or girls. We keep one or two.
They always in the pile because they always turns up
the mix. It's kind of like playing a nine inch
Nails song to everybody horning in a bar. So yeah,
we keep.
Speaker 1: A familiar with nine inch nails. Okay, what sounds like
Beth was well liked by her tee fling talent management.
No enemies, no, no doc secrets.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 2: I mean here's the thing, like, you know, to be
on this boat, you kind of got to be a family.
It's you're around each other very tight quarters for you know,
a long time, so you don't have the right vibe.
You don't tend to last on on these ships.
Speaker 1: So God knows, family never matter each other. Yeah, okay,
that leave me wonderful company. I'm off to just circulate
and uh you know you.
Speaker 2: Said circulate or cuculate, well, bit of pie?
Speaker 4: Why not?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 4: Just ten?
Speaker 5: I am no wrong answers in this room.
Speaker 1: Can I watch you know, like, uh, by, are you
actually a boman or are you just a pat behind
a bar?
Speaker 2: Are they mutually exclusive?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: That's you're opening a can of worms on that one, buddy.
Speaker 2: I specifically he starts flexing his his chest. He's making
his peck stouns and like the little bells and know
his zipple ring start to jingle jingle.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, that APDs my question.
Speaker 2: Thank you, tullu lates sweet stuff. All right, so we're
gonna let you guys marinate and your juices for a
little bit. We're gonna hop over to the other people
say like yes, So let me ask you guys, wants
you go to their version of laser tag or the
obstacle course.
Speaker 5: Us the dodgy ones? Yes, okay, just want to make.
Speaker 2: Sure which So there are basically there's two. There's one
that's an obstacle course and one that's kind of like
laser tag. They both have a similar vibe. It depends
on which which one you want to do.
Speaker 5: I feel like Cabert would go obstacle course.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, the Hodgepodge dodge.
Speaker 5: Then got it, the Hodgepodge dodge. Yes, that was Yes,
that was the one.
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm just making sure.
Speaker 6: Yeah that was the other one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, play your day way that was the other one.
I was remember, not a problem.
Speaker 6: And movies definitely bringing his cup with him.
Speaker 2: Okay, bringing your cup.
Speaker 6: Cool.
Speaker 5: I built Cobert with a few basic truths, and one
of them is he likes to run.
Speaker 2: Okay, cool, so.
Speaker 1: He's going for the obstacle course. Then I did want
to see a host play laser tag.
Speaker 5: Well, I mean I assume we're going to get more
than one rap.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have plenty of time, Like you've got twelve
days on this thing, so you don't, you guys worry
at all. All right, So let me drag you guys
over to.
Speaker 5: How much later ted do you have to play before
you get levels and rogue?
Speaker 2: Well, it's funny you mentioned that. So for you people
in the sex brothel, end of the kind of brothel,
where do I put it?
Speaker 1: It's the waffle brothel.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's fuck fuck cut that out, Cut
that out. That's gonna be the name of our restaurant.
Speaker 2: So, everybody who's in the sex club, your charisma goes
up by one and your wisdom goes down by one.
So go on your beyond sheet, click your click your wisdom.
Excuse me, your charisma goes up by one and wisdom
goes down by one?
Speaker 4: Oh my, where am I? Where am I clicking this?
Speaker 2: Okay? So on your D and D beyond character sheet. Yes,
whatever your you can like click on your like your wisdom,
and you can like there's like a plus a little
thing will should pop up. You can hit plus one
to it or just mainly override it. No, no, I'm
not saying like click it. I was saying you literally
just go to the scores and plus one. Nothing else
will write it down fits it later. So but everyone
in the sex club charisma up one, wisdom down one
because being working in the sex club, Oh yeah, you
get the riz, spending a lot of time in there.
Bad idea, No wisdom, that is a bad idea all
the way around.
Speaker 1: Reasonable. Yeah, all right.
Speaker 2: You gentlemen here, welcome to the Hodgepodge Dodge. Your goal
as you walk in, you walk into this space you
can do like and also it looks like you'rearn like
this void, this void of time and space, and the
voice is like, your goal is to cross this across
the across the fuck it, get across the damn They
can have a lot of fun. Beware of the obstacles,
and you as you can kind of see that starts
you go over, you can kind of see what goes
up and down based on the size of the maps
and the way things things go. You've got to touch
each of the you got to touch each of the
golden pillars. If you fall off, you will you'll pop
back to various spots. It's kind of like a big
video game of dexterity.
Speaker 5: So Cabert will silently intensely adjust his tie.
Speaker 2: Okay, other other, No, this is one of the rooms
where you come in and it's always an individual instance
whoever comes in together, so it's just you two.
Speaker 6: There's no opportunity to kill elves here.
Speaker 5: Okay, So explain to me what the plank is.
Speaker 2: Okay, that is like, that's a balance beam. So you
will start going to your right, trying to going across
the balance beam and up a ladder to that next
first platform.
Speaker 5: Gotcha, and the purple ones are not an alternative route,
I'm guessing then.
Speaker 2: No, No, your goal is you've got to touch all
the gold ones. The purple ones give you like bonuses.
But yes, you're trying to touch all the gold ones.
Speaker 5: Okay. I will attempt to start running the obstacle course,
not a lot of and.
Speaker 2: You're trying to come back around to where you start.
Speaker 5: So yeah, gotcha, I guess they start running not really
a lot of you.
Speaker 2: You ever seen wipe out, It's a lot like that, so.
Speaker 5: Hell yeah, all right, now imagine a horse on wipeout
there you go see I am.
Speaker 4: I am imagining.
Speaker 1: Man, I'm having a great time.
Speaker 5: I now I'm kind of mad they didn't do uh
that one. This is a random tangent. Did anybody watch
Frogger the knockoff Wipeout that was themed around Frogger? No?
Speaker 2: I did not.
Speaker 5: It was mostly forgettable. Like I mean, it was fun
as fun as any of those shows ever are, with
the exception of the one time they fucked up and
let a circusle acrobat compete as one of the people.
And I'm gonna tell you if you can find it,
just look up that one episode and watch this man
dominate a fucking obstacle course like it is a fucking
children's plate thing.
Speaker 2: What was the one we had to jump through the cutout?
There's that other.
Speaker 5: Show, oh the Wall something like that.
Speaker 2: They to stand like the man with the arms out
wide or like to get through you don't get smashed
or whatever.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, this is not going to be that. This
is going to be a horse on wipeout.
Speaker 2: So five ten, fifteen thirty, you have thirty five feet
across this balance to go across this to get across
that as very simple DC ten of uh acrobatics or athletics.
Your call.
Speaker 5: It's a good day to have a forty foot movement speed.
Speaker 2: Then yep, well you still got to cross it.
Speaker 5: So you said acrobatics or what was it athletics? All right,
all right, let's do this. Cobert gets a six.
Speaker 2: Oyah, you get halfway across and fall off the balance beam.
Speaker 5: Moo gets a I want a mood. You can note
if you so care. Cabert's legs never stop as he falls.
He's still running, all right.
Speaker 2: So you fall off this infinite boy, ah, and like
move guys, you look down. He falls down to the
infinite boy. Then look above you hear the sound from
above you as he's falling back down. Ah, and lands
on this platform. And you're going to take one to
take one D six a fall damage, take four fall damage.
Oh hit points mood.
Speaker 5: Gets a twenty five, and then I will set my
temporary hit points to thirty eight and then take away four.
Speaker 2: There you go, So you jump all the way. You
get to that super easy up up the ladder. Give
me another this another roll all right now when you
get to the top, a six. Okay, you get to that.
You get to the top, and there's a fire ring,
right there you slip and fall fall off. Oh and
like that you start. The problem is like you fall
from the top to the bottom. You keep going back
and back and back until you start. So you fall
back over here again. You then you take five temporary
hit points a fall damage. Cabert, you wont try again?
Speaker 5: Heck yeah, okay, let me. I want to be clear.
He never stops like he hits and he just is
going again like I'm respecting the rules of turns. But
in in game, Cabert is just fucking going like.
Speaker 2: This is his thing. No stop, okay. Uh, so give
me you just get DC ten to cross of athletics
or acrobatics your choice to get across eleven?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: Now, give me another one to climb this ladder? This
this would be like this, this this twenty foot ladder.
Oh boy, as a horse body arm day.
Speaker 5: Fifteen, I will take it.
Speaker 2: You get up over, you somersault over the fire, the
ring of fire, and then you hit the ladder and
you hit the gold plate. Blink blink and it lights
up like that's the first one.
Speaker 6: Uh.
Speaker 2: You hang there for a second, move your turn or
you just want to keep going to you fall? How
do you guys, want to do this.
Speaker 5: He is going to rear back like a horse that
just walked the race and do a big kick to
the air and then and then, you know, get ready
for my next run.
Speaker 2: All right, move you want to run across.
Speaker 6: We'll envision that Cobar is an elf and he can't
let an elf beat him.
Speaker 2: That's true. Fourteen, you get across easy, and now climb
the ladder right. Twenty three you are right there also
in this first winter circle.
Speaker 6: With him, and inexplicably he's like yelling at compar elf,
no move, sure thing.
Speaker 2: Okay, while you guys, are you in your first round there?
That's hop back over to the perverts.
Speaker 5: Sounds appropriate?
Speaker 2: All right, perverts drsers, Okay, what's your plan?
Speaker 4: I shall penetrate further into the pile. My wonder is aroused,
my charisma is heightened. So which one I will need
for this? I want to seek out the most occupied
and perhaps drunkest tee fling or any other infernal type creature?
Speaker 2: Okay, you weasel like? I imagine it's kind of you.
Ever see remember when the Grinch kind of slithers around
the the presence in the old cartoon. Imagine that's what
you're doing but around perverts. Yeah, sure, you gotta slither
your way through. You get through these. And there's a
tea fling. I'll make it. I'll make a copy here.
Speaker 6: Hang on, you're a damp one.
Speaker 2: There's a tee fling on the other side of this.
Uh uh, well, let's just this customer and uh, let's
see they appear to be like they appear to be
like a sweaty mage from the Midwest, you know, like
they gotthing like that, Yes, sweaty mage from the Tanlines.
And they're they're going to town on each other and
uh and a very romantic as one can do with
a pile driver position. You're on the wrong side. So
like te fling here, this mage here, uh, pile driving
and you were on this side of this thing going on.
Teefling's doing a lot of the work.
Speaker 4: All right, cool, I uh shall mosey on over. I
want to I want to get my face as close
to the tee flings crotch as possible.
Speaker 2: Well, okay, uh, you know what, just give me.
Speaker 4: Just gonna keep going until there's an objection.
Speaker 2: I want to say, how this give You're gonna here's
the thing you can get there not a problem. The
question is like whether or not you're asked to join
in or pushed away. It really depends on your charisma role.
So give me a uh uh, give me a persuasion role.
Speaker 4: Good day, all right, persuasion It was.
Speaker 2: A nine.
Speaker 4: Plus seven.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's really bad. So that's almost that's like
almost the worst you can get. So you ever been like, well,
I put it this way, dude, you're getting real close.
He sees it. Your vibe is just off. You want
it too bad, So he kind of pulls out, poaching
the eye with it and goes back to work, and
you fall back staggered with like, you know, just a
painful way.
Speaker 4: He pokes me in the eye with what.
Speaker 2: It's his his wonder.
Speaker 4: All right, well that's exactly what I needed.
Speaker 6: Okay, I make a.
Speaker 2: Sniff check.
Speaker 4: Well that well, I mean, I guess they can be combined.
I'm looking for a perception or investigation.
Speaker 2: Uh you know what, because you get pokes in the
eye that give me give me an investigation with.
Speaker 4: I'm looking for crabs.
Speaker 2: Wait what okay?
Speaker 4: And I mean he got it right up next the eye.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, Well you also got posting on so give
me an investigation with disadvantage the eye pain.
Speaker 4: All right, I'm rolling twice.
Speaker 2: You were expecting that. Yeah, it was like the nine.
Uh from what you saw briefly, you saw no crabs.
I'll give you that. So he's pretty smooth. So there's
not a lot of hair there. And you beginned with
so all right, any any special smells other than musk
and the mage that.
Speaker 4: He was drilling in particular, sweaty musk.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're looking for that particular sweaty musk. Okay, give
me a history check, give me a history roll history
all right, yep, because you're trying to like this, this
your recent history. You're comparing what you just smelled versus
what you did the news. You can tell this is
not the same person.
Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, that's good enough for me. I declare
you innocent.
Speaker 2: He's as he's piled driving a mage from the Midwest.
He's like you sure about that?
Speaker 3: But oh lord, okay, averting her eye, uh claude, make
her way around the resrection good, good point.
Speaker 2: Now, I'll let you know. By the way, there is
remember all your torture sex things. There's an entire table
full of that down here too. This is the entire
this is the uh, the bondage section. So I know
you like to steal those things from before.
Speaker 3: So there's a watcher guy or person in this She's
going to go over to them and say, how have
you been here this morning?
Speaker 2: It's just two hours or so?
Speaker 3: I love this ew And also have you heard of
any mysteries on this ship?
Speaker 2: Tell me more about yourself?
Speaker 3: God, you are you know, Claudia is not the cleanest person,
but she feels really dirty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that, you know.
Speaker 3: All right, this guy's obviously not.
Speaker 2: Gonna you mean, the guy in the whorehouse watching things
I want to talk to? Oh my god?
Speaker 3: All right, she's gonna keep making her way around the pile.
Speaker 2: Okay. As you walk near the pen, the elf druid
h he's like he's there.
Speaker 6: He's like a lida.
Speaker 2: Is anything you looking for?
Speaker 4: Particularly?
Speaker 2: And shape shifts into a horse stops a few times.
Speaker 3: Wow, that's some pretty big assumptions about me. So, so
have you been employed employed here long?
Speaker 2: He has stamps his foot three times.
Speaker 3: Excellent, three for us, two for no.
Speaker 2: He shakes his main Now are you are you?
Speaker 3: Are you aware of deathany The poor person who was
murdered on this boat.
Speaker 2: The horse kind of hugs you this puzzle shakes its
head and like like it'll stops its foot and then
nods it up and down. If he realized what you're
actually talking about and you said death, andy like no,
oh got it?
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah he's did she ever come in here?
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen a horse?
Speaker 4: Look?
Speaker 2: Just exasperate, He shifts back, he while shings back Tom
from the heyle, you only got a few these a day?
Are you going to fucking this horse?
Speaker 5: Or not.
Speaker 3: A few of what a day?
Speaker 2: Wild shapes?
Speaker 4: Okay?
Speaker 2: I only do so many per day, and I just
wasted one. You look like you look like a horse. Listen,
no offense. A lot of ladies come over here. They
always have the you know I do but don't want
to do the horse thing. Blah blah blah. It's totally cool.
I understand, you know, but you know, uh, sorry if
I misjudge you, you just kind of have that I
want to fuck a horse vibe. So my apologies. But
now that I'm looking at you, bear do you like bear?
Is that your thing?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Wow, well you've got you literally wearing up bear skins.
Speaker 3: Let's say that thought for later. But but really does
she ever come in here?
Speaker 2: Oh you mean beth?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 2: I mean, you know, time to time, you know, not leisurely,
but like on a professional basis, you know, I don't
I don't think she Maybe she's dating somebody. I mean
I don't know, Like a lot of the cruise directors
and then the backups are always like they're so busy,
they don't have time for relationships. So unless you unless
she was dating you know, Julie. But like so she
doesn't really come in here. Other thans like take accountability,
check drains, make sure we're okay, make sure we're hydrated,
you know, see if we need to be like tagged out,
you know, you know, it's chafing his help supply, you know,
just you know, you just bossed off. That's about it.
Speaker 3: Okay, got it? So she was dating Julie. Maybe, thanks,
you've been very helpful. Yeah, that's all I mean.
Speaker 2: Bear, Yes, No, I'm I'm gonna ask this. I'm not
gonna waste a wild shape on this.
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well fine, Hey, anybody want to fuck a bear?
Speaker 4: Hello?
Speaker 1: I'm impressed by how confident he was that. Claudia definitely
went to fuse this is his job. You can only
do this a few times a day, and not as
a lady.
Speaker 5: I mean, is she still wearing dead flesh of other animals?
Because I mean there's certainly context clues to be read.
I'm not sure he's reading them right.
Speaker 2: But well, someone walks in, lady looks timid, circumvents the thing,
doesn't like the obvious pervert there, and then it starts
walking away towards the pen, and she's wearing nothing but
furs and nature. Yeah, you know that's that's a horse fucker.
Speaker 3: So thank you very much. This is my first sona.
Speaker 2: My bad stand.
Speaker 5: I think it would have been funny if she was
the horse. She did turn out to be a horse fucker,
but uh, not receiving.
Speaker 1: Well done, sir. It's tomorrow of.
Speaker 7: Today's episodes is not to make assumptions about people. I
think it's definitely assumptions about people. Stand will approach what
appears to be the only woman not in the fat pile. Yep,
I assume she works here.
Speaker 2: Hello, darling, would you like to be spanked?
Speaker 1: Oh? You know what?
Speaker 2: I was actually hoping to put them on the rock
for me. And this large muscular man comes around and
starts to like to pick you up and put you
on the rack. I was spanking by I make it
up a good second.
Speaker 1: Yes, no, don't just pick up a man. Put me
down immediately, sir please.
Speaker 2: Dieter looks to her and she's fine, look at.
Speaker 1: Her, look at me. This is I'm in charge of
my own body. Thank you.
Speaker 2: People that come into my section one, they're autonomy taken
away in a safe space. I'm sorry, I apologize. You
just look like you want to but.
Speaker 1: Maybe put that on a sign.
Speaker 2: Oh this is your first time on the Grand Whimsy,
then I am sunny.
Speaker 1: Yes, well you must get people who do come in here.
I'm starting to wonder how many people you've put on
that rack and shove something up the ass and they
didn't even have a chance to say no, thank you?
Speaker 2: She poised at least three people in the pile. Yeah,
and then one to backsie on the bed. So you're right,
look at himself.
Speaker 1: So I see, is that a human pretend to be
an animal or an animal? Pretend? You know what? Never mind,
I don't care.
Speaker 2: What's you need, darling from you?
Speaker 1: You know what I've already spent. I've been traveling, so
I've already done the long, hard on a dirt road thing.
I don't need it to. I was hoping for something
a little softer, a little sparkling.
Speaker 2: She goes and gets a feather.
Speaker 1: Oh you know, there used to be a time when
you could find a lady for some charming conversation, have
a few drinks. You get back out, dr and if
that's what you need, that you need.
Speaker 2: She goes inside the cage and she just pours a
cup of tea. Come on in, have a seat.
Speaker 1: I think it isn't more like it.
Speaker 2: So, yes, she slams in. The cage is shut, but
usually just just pouring your tea, just politely, calmly.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Services. Yeah, but it's quite cozy
cage as far as cages go. Spend a lot of time.
Speaker 2: In a cage, more than you sing, darling.
Speaker 1: You know who should spend time in a cage? Now?
Speaker 2: Who's that?
Speaker 1: Murderers? Probably? I think, what about you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 2: Just talking about the best?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 1: Uh, poor death Beth, Yes.
Speaker 2: Dead Beth. So she's very sad she died, yeah, earlier
this morning. I don't really give a ship. She was
kind of a tyranted boss, so she did not bring
me the duck fat for the lubricant. So she was
very cruel to the sex workers. She she looked down
on us darting, and you know, we all workers work,
and I don't appreciate that.
Speaker 1: Well, no, of course you bring in a lot of
business here, perhaps a little enthusiastic about your job. Maybe
just a sign next time, I think, But yes, we
kind of have dan people looking down on you for
doing an.
Speaker 2: Honest Do you know the name of the club by
the darning no hole's bought you. It's kind of the
name is it's right there on the right.
Speaker 1: But I also, like, you know, clear warning, I'm about
to be aim ly violated, just you know, heads up
before I hands up.
Speaker 2: She rules hers and she's like, she's like, all right,
I'll take this under advisement, sip.
Speaker 1: This is just customer feedback, darling, it's not personal. I
know you're a professional. So yeah, so bad for she
was a little bit above you, did she hm hmmm.
That's interesting because I've had nothing but a sweet praise
for dary old dead Beth.
Speaker 2: I'm sure the other departments found her very found her
very you know, I've been on the ship for a
very long time. You know, it's my thirteenth, fourteenth year
on the ship, and the time one of these fourteen
years that's working my way up to the this is
my section. I can throll it. And you know, I
don't like a new person coming along telling me what
I kin and cannot do when it comes to how
I want to violate my people.
Speaker 1: Hmm, but probably not enough just to kill her with
infernal magic or some kind of hm hmmm, do you
too much infernal magic?
Speaker 2: No no, no, no, no no no. I mean I
may people see God or the devil, but no, but
not not not magic. No, Darling, I prefer like And
she's like she's saying this like she you know, she's
SIPs her tea and then she picks up a coin
and she's rubbing over the back of her knuckles like
like like like it's like mercury. She you should clearly
get like a lot of roguish kind of vibes from her.
She's like, no, I I specialized in the other places,
other locations, very dexterous fingers.
Speaker 1: Now that is cool. I like that. That's the kind
of magic I could get behind, get behind. Darling's finished
my take. Okay, it's been absolutely enchanting. I am looking
for the killer of poor Beth if every any crime
was being a little bit superior. I don't think she
deserved what happened to her. But if you have any
of the thoughts, please do.
Speaker 2: Oh cool, I mean, it's the staff probably would not
have turned onto her. It's the thing. For what I
understand though, is like each one, okay, each one of
these rooms is a transmissional space, and she was found
so I forgot where she was found. We just heard
the stories. But like, you can't get in and out
of these spaces unless you have a bracelet. We work
in here, so it's very possible that it's probably someone
on the crew and not Salven, not the crew, one
of the passengers. However, when they're wearing these special bracelets,
yours looks different though they can't use their powers, so
it has to be someone who has the access to
powers and a creature that can go through transmissonal space.
Speaker 1: Yes, I see, And have you met anyone suspicious of
that description?
Speaker 2: In last it's only ten o'clock so far, darling, I
have a long way to.
Speaker 1: Go, yes, and a lot of people coming in and
out here, go in and out and coming anyway, I
see what you did that? Yeah, well, you know, maybe
i'll look you up lying to you're a trauma. Farewell, lovely,
I'm off to solve a mystery. Probably get my dick wells.
Speaker 2: You've never a gentleman. But her name, my name is.
Speaker 1: Elsa, Elsa chante tutelou.
Speaker 2: But stuff later.
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, all right, we.
Speaker 2: Will jump back over to the gentleman. Try to play
in the obstacle course a.
Speaker 5: Very different kind of story.
Speaker 2: I'm definitely doing an.
Speaker 5: American glad eaters, motherfucker exactly.
Speaker 2: All right, Cobert, you what it appears you need to
get a running now. You can go down the ladder,
but that's only going to lead you back to another platform,
back to the star. So to get to the next
gold platform, looks like you've got to jump off over
the fire, grab the rope and land on the purple platform.
Speaker 5: All right, what do I roll for that?
Speaker 4: Uh?
Speaker 2: This is slightly more difficult. The rope is not too
far out, so with a running start, you're going into
many give me a twelve athletics or acrobatics.
Speaker 5: Okay, actually, can mug go first? I have something I
want to check.
Speaker 2: Yes, by all means Moog would like to go first.
Speaker 6: This remind move of test of Madhood when Moog was boy,
except Mug was covered in blood and thrown into pit
of wild dogs.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, athletics yep or acrobatics here we go.
Speaker 6: Twenty two.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You not only like jump off, catch the rope,
you kind of do that backflip thing and land to
the perfectly on over the purple fire and land.
Speaker 6: Here very easily.
Speaker 2: What appears to be this appears to be like this
spider web like now, remember those rope nets as kids.
You basically got to cross that and get climbs slightly
uphills to get to this platform. All right, go for it. Sense,
here's work unless you were looking. You want to go now, Drew,
or do you want to let him try to get
to the next platform?
Speaker 5: I can? I can go ahead and go my plan
to seven a bear spirit. I don't think it's going
to work.
Speaker 2: It is nuts.
Speaker 5: Yeah. It almost advantage on strength checks and strength saving throw.
So if it's strength based skills, we would have been there.
Speaker 2: We try to cast spells in here. They don't work.
Speaker 5: Oh it's not a spell, that's a that's a spirit totem.
I just look. Okay, okay, it's an ability, all right,
but it wouldn't boost me the way I would need.
So we're gonna go acrobatics. Of course, run.
Speaker 2: Twenty one, just like before, Just like him. You catch it,
grab that flip in midair and land, did you? Right
beside him? By the way, While you guys are in
this room, I might as well just help you out
to help them out earlier. You you are in which
one is it? Hodgepodge Dodge decks goes up by one
and goes down by one?
Speaker 5: Okay, Doki one one point? Not one? Bonus right one point?
Speaker 1: So okay.
Speaker 2: If your decks was a seventeen is now an eighteen.
If you're you're d If it was a sixteen, it's
not a fifteen, so.
Speaker 5: Okay, so you're little for me either way. Although now I.
Speaker 6: How do you how the fuck do you change this?
Speaker 5: I'll worry about it later. It didn't change my scores.
Speaker 4: You press the actual word of the attribute.
Speaker 6: There's a thing when you click the word it says
other modifier.
Speaker 5: Nope, No, that was a roll. That wasn't what I
wanted to do, all right, I'll just go into the
actual sheet it'll be fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, all right, move you're.
Speaker 6: Up this remove mind's move. Growing up, there were giant
spiders in forest. We used to feed elf children to them.
Speaker 2: Like have you ever been to a carnival and you've
seen like those rope things you try to climb up
the ring the bell and you're gonna start load. It's
like the the wobbly uh, the rope ladder. It's kind
of like that, but in this big spiderway. So A
nine okay, so that.
Speaker 6: Was that was not my role, so okay, okay.
Speaker 5: All right, okay, Well sometimes giant spiders win.
Speaker 2: You get up to there and you're just like stuck
because you're now stuck on a spider web. This platform
above you is rotating and these things like are spitting fire,
Like this big platform here with a fire purple stuff
shooting out. It's gonna so you're stuck halfway up, so
it won't take you much to get strength wise, but
you're stuck at the moment. Cod bear, you're up.
Speaker 5: All right, we're still athletics or acrobatics, right, okay, dokie.
Speaker 2: Twelve, Okay, you get halfway up and give me another role.
Pushing off of moog who's stuck there? Okay, doki, but
this was the advantage now because you got to move there.
Twenty you get up, you dodge the fire. It doesn't matter.
You're good and you are now into this purple ring
of fire. Right you'd be over the apostle purple flames
into the ring of fire, and the next the thing
lights up. You have conquered a platform number two.
Speaker 5: All right, I once again do the rear back you know,
of course punching the sky.
Speaker 4: Moog.
Speaker 2: Give me just a pure pure athletics or strength, you know,
pure athletics role to pull yourself free.
Speaker 5: Levene.
Speaker 2: You're free. Now give me an athletics or acrobatics role
tochloro all the rest of the way up. Twenty yeap,
not a problem. You two are now.
Speaker 6: Next move feel like you touched chorcer.
Speaker 2: All right ahead of you now are It's a much
more narrower beam. But each log is spinning. It like,
each section is spinning in a different direction. So left right,
left right, left right left right, So to get to
this platform, who would like to try it first? This
is going to go up a little bit. So this
is like now you can maybe try to work in tandem.
But these are these spinning logs and much more narrows.
Speaker 5: There's one absolute truth about Moog, and it's that we're
not going to be.
Speaker 2: Working to get just checking. So this goes.
Speaker 5: Unless there's an elf we need to kill for specific reasons,
in which case like that's the murdered. The star is
a line, all right, So uh, I need a DC.
Speaker 2: Uh what was it tend to get across the first one?
So this is a thirteen?
Speaker 5: Here goes nothing and that is exactly when I rolled
with the five.
Speaker 2: Your foot hits it spins. What the fun.
Speaker 5: Thought this from dad for a horse?
Speaker 2: You fall through the nothingness and repear reappear at the
top of the nothing ness, landing on the platform, taking
six fall damage temporary already.
Speaker 6: And this is what mook say about teamwork twenty two.
Speaker 2: Uh, like, did you just straight across all right? From
your position here? Uh, there is a basically what appears
to be a saved point. If you want to come
back at the top like this, this one appear to
you just clim up and it's basically just a saved point.
The next you come in, or you can go to
your left and looks like you can jump down to
this purple thing. Climb a beam and crawl over, climb
down a chain or way down low way below. There
appears to be a catapult that it's intent to launch
you to maybe back. It looks like it's like you
can you can aim the direction of which platform you
want it to go to.
Speaker 6: Oh, we got to do the catapult.
Speaker 2: Well you've also mean you're on you're on three. You've
got to do You've got to hit all four gold
ones and then get back to the beginning.
Speaker 6: Well, you said we can change the direction of the catapult,
so get towards the gold one.
Speaker 2: Give it a shot. But now you are jumping off
of this. It's a big fall. That's the problem. So
it is a like I tried to put the scale here,
like I've made it very small, so it is very
far down there, and that distance is weird. So I'm
gonna need athletics roll DC eighteen. It's a land on
it and then we're gonna do it an acrobactual to
see if you stay on it. So athletics, just like
you're seven, you hit it, your knees crack. You're definitely
gonna take some fall damage on that one. So you're
gonna do just one and then but you fall off
into the nothingness, uh cause you flip spin spin, spin, spin, spin,
and you land back onto this platform. Crack all right,
cond bear.
Speaker 5: All right, my turn to bust some asks. All right,
eighteen nice.
Speaker 2: Right across Like it's like you're like you ever watch
It's like just watching these white belt videos. A little
tiny Asian housewife with the tiny feet straight across ninja steps.
Speaker 5: I'm just imagining a horse running across rolling logs as little.
Speaker 2: I like to think you turn kind of sideways, you
kind of moon walk it a little bit, you know,
like the uh so that is you're both there right now.
Speaker 7: Uh.
Speaker 2: Let's we only have a little bit of time left
in this particular episode, so let's see what Let's let's
jump back to the horrors.
Speaker 5: Real fast, the horse, the horse.
Speaker 2: Let's jump back to the horse real quick.
Speaker 6: Name.
Speaker 3: Claudia is never going to be able to make eye
contact with the cabar again.
Speaker 5: He'll think she heard about his awesome performance and just
to intimidate.
Speaker 2: All right, so what I would like for this particular
moment before I come to each one of you, uh,
each one of you, your little bracelet uh begins to blink,
and you hear the sound of Move going, oh fuck,
as he fell off the last thing. Because he as
he fall he bumped his thing, he hit the bracelet,
it activated, so the communications device between the parties involved
because everybody whows in the particular room now obviously communication
device on the wrists. So all of you hear Move
screaming what the fuck and whatever else. Mood screams as
he falls, falls, falls, and then hits the ground.
Speaker 1: But that's our moo oh, he's screaming about something. They
sound like they're having an excellent time.
Speaker 2: Moog. You hear them talking about.
Speaker 6: You, ah mook.
Speaker 5: Your sticky wizard voices again.
Speaker 2: So all of you like realize at this point, yes,
you can talk to each other in whichever room you're in.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, stands extra extra glad he didn't end up
on that wreck.
Speaker 2: All right, Claudia, Uh, we would you like to do
now that you are back into the horror room.
Speaker 3: So she will say to her wristband, I have found
out that Julie dated Bethany.
Speaker 2: Just Beth Because the real life person in the community
you reach out to me is like, why do you
keep trying to kill me Gibbs, So using their real names,
let's just go with Beth, just Beth. Okay, she'll call
her death, yeah Deafanie, Yeah Death.
Speaker 1: Say Dephanie was dating someone. I've heard that she was
not quite as well loved by sex worker community as
was made out.
Speaker 6: You hear of your transponder. So Julie has filled the
elf lover. This must be dealt with.
Speaker 1: That is true, Joe Serra, what did you pick up?
I mean, information wise.
Speaker 4: I am. I've got one last plan to do, so
I'm yeah, just keep your distance, okay, not a problem.
All right. Well, Georgier realizes the flaw and his previous plan.
It would just take forever to individually go to each
of these infernals one by one. So I'm gonna get
them to come to me.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 4: Georgier would like to fill his goblet with some like
hot pink like paint or whatever, and I'm gonna rub
some of my lips and then I'm gonna to paint
a message on my chest that says, let's say I
wrote it down, I hung, I hunger for hot burning genitals.
Oh no, And then I just want to look sexy,
all right.
Speaker 2: Somebody gave that man Gunnar Rhea before we sign off
for this particular episode. Uh, Claudia and Stan.
Speaker 1: Oh good, I was really hoping that wasn't the last
thing I said on this episode.
Speaker 2: Have you seen I assume like I could talk to
the players and obviously you've seen like zombie movies when
they smell brains and the pile begins to move as
one onto Jorsper, surrounding him, closing in on him, slowly
crushing him, and you're actually starting to worry because the
pile is literally like it is now a wall of
flesh that is crushing your friend Jorcerer, who is now
an entire orgy on top of him killing.
Speaker 6: Him those of you about to be BOUKOCKI twel.
Speaker 4: That that worked so much better than I thought it would.
Speaker 5: Honestly, does does anyone think this is how Georcer would
want to go?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I don't.
Speaker 1: I think we should go in. We might get sucked
in into whatever is whatever black hole is.
Speaker 5: I think getting sucked is a given in that situations.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen society.
Speaker 2: On the verge of Georcer being crushed by crushed by
orgy like it was on all of our bucket on
behalf of Robert Bevan, Emily Kaplan, Steve Weatherill, Rick Waltery,
and Drew Hayes. I'm Mk Gibson. We've been the Dicey Bastards.
We apologize in advance for this episode, and you all
have been great. We'll get y'all next time. By this
should be the last. We should just quit the podcast
now and just end on this cliffhanger.
Speaker 5: I also don't know how much of advance warning it is.
Speaker 2: I can't apologie advance, Okay, I'll apologize at.
Speaker 5: The ad Yeah, I posthumously because I assume that you're
dead from shock.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to Dicey Bastard's Catsy if Authors and
Dragons check us out our Authors and Dragons dot com
or look up our Patreon if you want to supporters,
get secret content, and hang out on our discord music
by the Golf Call four.
Speaker 5: I think getting sucked is a given in that situation.