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Speaker 1: You know, later in the episode we'll have a conversation

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with him and carry where and Carrie tells him, you

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know this is the best You don't you're you can't

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be that. And and also these people love that.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 1: These people don't even want that, So don't worry about it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Hi home, welcome.

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Speaker 2: Hey, hey, I've never been so happy to say permission

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to come aboard or ask that question.

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Speaker 1: Well, permission to come aboard. It's granted for all. I

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am back in my office, which has been turned into

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just kind of stowaway of lots of baby stuff. I'm Dylan.

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Speaker 2: That's pat Hey, great to be here.

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Speaker 1: I'm a little rusty. Also, I have not slept really

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in two weeks. So you know, if it's if it's good,

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that's great. If it's bad, you know, please please page.

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Speaker 2: Are you talking about Are you talking about the show

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in general?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well specifically my performance.

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Speaker 2: Come on, it's like riding a bicycle. You'll be fine.

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You get back on that seat and just drive down

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the street. Also, you know, it's a downside of not

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having you in studio, Dylan is obviously some crosstalk, But

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upside I get to do the show in my underwear?

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Speaker 1: Are you? Are you?

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Speaker 2: You know sometimes people say you've arrived when you get

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that corner office or you drive that fancy car because

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you know you're in an upper management. No, no, no, no, no,

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you've arrived when you can do your job your underwear.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah yeah, Or you have hit a place that

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is so low that you need to Are we sponsored

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by Rula today?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, anyways, ruler.

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Speaker 2: All them if you're in your underwear and gainfully unemployed.

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Speaker 1: All right, so listen, baby Lucy is with us. I

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just wanted to say thank you. Our fans are so amazing.

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Thank you so much for all the beautiful words that

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we got about our dear baby girl being born. She

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is the light of my life and also a demon.

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And yeah, fatherhood is fatherhood is bad. It's tough. It's tough.

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It kind of sucks a lot of the Also.

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Speaker 2: Hey, Deil, this is a good opportunity to put to

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plug a particular show joking. I'll do it you on

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dot com slash another podcast network. Dyl it's for five bucks.

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We're going to be back now talking about our lives

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and whatever's top of buying. And I'm I'm assuming A

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big topic conversation is going to be that little demon

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that he is now going to have to raise, that.

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Speaker 1: Little demon who I sing Billy Joel too. And I

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weep while she's in my arms, and I also weep

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when she's collicking and screaming, And I just don't know

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what I you know, sometimes I think have we made

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a grave mistake here? And that. Other times I'm like, no,

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this is this is the most perfect thing in the world.

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But we'll break down the entire thing. I we'll call it,

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you know, it's our first dad pod, it's you know, yeah.

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Speaker 2: Maybe we should call him my two Dads. That's a

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great name for a show.

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Speaker 1: Okay, But yeah, we'll be breaking down, you know, all

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of it. Me fighting with postpartum nurses, me fighting with

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my child who doesn't speak English, firing lactation consult the

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whole thing. It's been. It's been a serious chance, it's

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serious journey. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you're laying the hammer down on some some companies. Wow,

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that's gonna be fun.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, there are a lot of people that

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work in natal care that are absolute morons and or evil.

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Speaker 2: So when we went for the DULA to meet with

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the doula. Basically, I was like, you know, my wife

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and I. She goes, first off, it's not my wife

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and I, it's her. I was like, oh right, I

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should shut up. Yeah, and she basically said, you have

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nothing to add to this, so sit back and keep

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your mouth shut.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know she's wrong. You know, fathers can do

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a lot. But listen, we're gonna talk about all that

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patronic complation of the podcast network. Finally we are arrived back.

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I only missed a week.

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Speaker 2: You only missed a week.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, thanks to Rubes and Klin for holding the fort

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down as often as they have been. I'm getting a

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call from Malibu right now. Well, never go, I don't

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know anyone in Malibu.

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Speaker 2: Well I'll say this, whatever, whatever son of a.

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Speaker 1: Bitch has gone to the phone because this person.

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Speaker 2: Okay, there, I'll do some Yeah, some son of a

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bitch sold my personal phone number to some mortgage company.

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I get a call from New York about eight times

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a day from a different New York number. It's drive

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me insane.

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Speaker 1: Can you hear me?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I can hear you.

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Speaker 1: All Right, Okay, I'm so mad at this ghost from

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Malibu right now.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's probably some mortgage company trying to ask if

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you want to refine finance.

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Speaker 1: I don't own. I don't own. Oh my gosh. Yeah,

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So so Mike the morning I had spent on the

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phone talking to sassy people at Covered California. It's like,

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this whole thing is quite a journey. Anyways, patroon komp

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Slash another podcast network. So mister week Ruby and k

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filled in marvelously. How's Kaylin doing?

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Speaker 2: Oh, he's doing great. I mean I only had one

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We only bumped Ed's once and he listens to the show,

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so he knows what happened.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, I want to express extreme gratitude for Kaitlin.

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You know, I love Kalen despite his grotesque political leanings.

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I mean, we're not going to get into them, but

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I mean, my gosh, you sit down to dinner with

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this kid, is that right? Oh yeah, I mean get

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rid of them all. Yeah, it's crazy.

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Speaker 2: Hey, look, we don't talk politics on this show. Everybody,

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you can listen whatever you don't care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you go listen to Minus Touch if you want

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that or whatever you listen to.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so let's get into this show, Jill, because it's

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been a while since you gave your thoughts and nods.

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I'm curious what you think of the season so far.

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Speaker 1: This season is weird. Below Tech always does this thing

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where they have new sconces, but they don't really do

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all that much. Meaning, we've got really we've got extra

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crispy Chiron's, we've got music that's absolutely out of control.

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Speaker 3: And.

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Speaker 1: You know where it's just kind of like putting lipstick

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on a pig. Now we love this pig. You know,

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this pig is a bunch of runaways at sea, you

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know serving you know, carrots that look like dicks to

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gay porn stars who are purchasing a charter for five

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days at I think sixty percent off, And because of that,

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they feel as though they're entitled to, you know, just

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pissing people's buttles, and I mean they are entitled to

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do that.

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Speaker 2: Well, I can't even imagine what that feels like, but

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I guess we'll get it.

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Speaker 1: Probably feels pretty crazy. It probably feels like an intimate bidet,

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you know, because bidets are just mechanical things that shoot

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a stream of water up your ass. But it was

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a lover, Yeah, completely different. Anyways, this season's been you know,

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it's been cool. It's good to see Anthony whose uncle

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stole his wife.

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Speaker 2: Now, Dell, I am so happy you brought that up

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in your thoughts and nots, because I had forgotten. I

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went in an entire episode going I think, I look,

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there's some sea rats. Of course that are dear to

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my heart. I'll always remember them. They were very important

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to the recap of the show. Chef Anthony. I was

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just like, oh, he got fired. I think he was

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incompetent or something. And then some wonderful barnacle had pointed

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out that he had a troubled pass and it wasn't

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that his dad left when it was a kid. It

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was that his uncle had sex with his wife.

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Speaker 1: His dad may have left him when he was a kid.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, sure, that's what we call a twofer in

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the sea rat business. But I do want to say this, Yeah,

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as a comedian, which I'm at times referred to, some

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people would argue that I bought I am required to

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beat that dead horse into the ground, so buckle up.

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Speaker 1: Good. You know, I would argue that you're not a comedian.

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I'm one of the people you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: That's true, in your opinion, means a lot to be so.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing. It was amazing to see Rainbow. Rainbow

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has no chill fight Island. Sea rat history was one

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of the crazy sea rets.

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Speaker 2: I have to tell you. I was I was ready

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to give up on sea rat histories. And maybe we're

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getting a little too deep into this recap already, but

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I'll say this, it felt like these were just puff pieces,

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you know, that they were giving these goddamn sea rats

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and then wow, wow. Dad must have been a big

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fan of the Hunger Games because that scenario was very,

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very similar similar.

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Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it was. It was a

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really insane story. So I thought the episode was fantastic.

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We had panic attacks, you know. Rainbow reminded me a

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lot of myself at two fifteen in the morning, just

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just crying of late. But an anyways, I thought it

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was a great episode.

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Speaker 2: Five pots, five pots. Okay, Well, I can't wait to

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hear what you think about Lawrence's final meal. Okay, we

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have incompetence on top of incompetence, Kyo. I don't know

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how long he's gonna be here. Uh, poor chef Anthony,

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he's been fired on this show. And also his uncle

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had sex with his wife and he may be fired

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a second time.

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Speaker 1: On top, he's gonna be fired a second time. Oph.

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We lost Patty right there, We lost Patty again. You know,

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I gotta say once again, you know, it's just been

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great to receive all the all the support and the love.

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You know, I really love you guys, and you know that.

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You know if you've DMed me, I just have. I've

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been in a fugue state. Sorry, Patty, you were you were?

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Speaker 2: Oh. I was going to point out that I loved

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that Captain Carey. Why didn't love? But it was enjoyable.

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Watch the fact that three strikes, you're out. As far

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as the clothes that he would wear during a day

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of work were not prepared for him in his cabin.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, baseball with Sea Rats is a six strike game.

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You know, it's you can't nobody's gonna get any hits.

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Speaker 2: If it's it's like t ball, they just keep putting

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the ball on that that you know, that thing and

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let him swing for an Hour's sad too, well, anyway,

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I'm gonna give it fourteen knots all right.

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Speaker 1: So we begin with the chef whose uncle I believe

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slept with his wife and he has he has beef.

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He has marbled beef with Fraser, who evidently was the

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reason that he was terminated. You know, this kind of

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shirking responsibility. Sure Fraser may have sounded the alarm, but

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you were the one who tried to poison people involuntarily,

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so it's not really Fraser's fault.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. This was interesting because he holds a pretty big

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grudge with Fraser. Yet he he tells us he thinks

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Fraser is like family yea, which means that Fraser might

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be having sex with his wife.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Not likely, But in Anthony's world, in this kind

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of Peanuts cartoon life that Anthony lives, I think Frasier

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may break from gay for a little bit just obang

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his wife. Man brutal stuff. Okay, So, like I said,

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Rainbow has no chill. I think she tells Love Island

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that she's just going to tell her what to do

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and not say please or thank you or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: Oh I like that. Okay, So you're you have a name.

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You have a name for Ole sol It's it's Love Island.

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I like it because she was on Love Island. Oh

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and once again I want to thank a barnacle Dylan.

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You weren't here for this episode. I had said, she

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is not here to clean dukie off toilets or learn

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how to do it. Okay, she's here to get do

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OnlyFans and a Barnacle said, she's already got her platform up.

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She's already our platform up. So head on over to

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Ole Solat for a good time and pay twenty two

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dollars to see her, kiddie.

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Speaker 1: Twenty two dollars. Huh, I think so, I don't know,

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you know, I was saying this on another podcast. The

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proliferation of OnlyFans is a real condemnation on the male species.

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You know that there are that many of us that

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are paying paying for this. I mean what, it's just

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supplying demand. Anyways, So we get to Chow and we

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get a little c Rett history with.

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Speaker 2: Oh Chow with Chow. Oh oh yeah yeah. Now before

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we get there, I do want to touch on one thing. Uh,

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Chef Lawrence. You know he uh, he's connected with you know,

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the Ultimate, of course we know that, right, But he's

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also he's a pretty dark person, you know. And I

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don't I don't know if you saw this scene, but

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he was given Chef Anthony a tour of the Galley,

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you know, teaching, coaching him up, you know. And at

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some point he turned to chef Anthony goes, you know,

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none of this really matters because the end of days

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are upon us and the Holy Rapture will leave most

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of us to burn in hell for eternity. So do

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you want me to show you which burners are working?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, He's like, and that's when he said, look, man,

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my uncle, bang my wife. I don't need to be

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bummed out anymore than this. Okay, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 1: Anthony's like, let me tell you about a rapture. I mean,

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my got but but but but but but Lawrence is like,

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you know, this oven is not really working. And also,

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you know, the seeds in Israel have claimed the red

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halfer from Sub Saharan Africa or whatever, and that's the

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end time. So christ returns and uh, you're probably gonna

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rotten fucking hell because you're a gay guy, right this,

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I mean, this is this guy is crazy. This guy

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is crazy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna miss yeah. Yeah all right, so now

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we now we get to this goddamn sea rat. Okay,

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so Kiowa explains the nuance of cleaning the teak and

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not damaging it. But who gives a ship, we get

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a sea rat history. And I'm just gonna say this,

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this is a puff p. He tells us, tells us

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that he just joined this business to travel the world

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for free. Yeah, and I don't need this kind of

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sea rat history. I want to know when your dad

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cheated on your mom. Yeah, so your family.

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Speaker 1: So what you what you're driving at is really kind

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of a revulsion born of experience in the two of us, Right,

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so we know that this is deceitful, right, we knowely.

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We know that he didn't join because he likes to travel.

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We know that he joined because he had to travel, right,

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and we need to know we need to know why

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he had.

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Speaker 2: To flee, right, Yeah, he's running from something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. So so you know, missus with the bullshit, okay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's time you want to tell us

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what really took place? Mentioned a sibling that might have

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been mowed down by a hail of bullets after a

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drug deal. Gon sat, Okay, because that's what really happened,

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all right?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so crazy, You know, Wes Anderson would have a

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real cute treatment of what happened, but it would be

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really horrifying stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know one needs to see his movies anymore.

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They're all the same. It's like Wes Anderson's doing a

295
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mock movie on himself.

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Speaker 1: At this I think I think Wes Anderson could really

297
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,840
just springboard back into the zeitgeist in a larger way

298
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if he did a film set in the favelas of Brazil.

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I think that he could really knock that out of

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the park.

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Speaker 2: Now, I say, fuck it, you know what, do the

302
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:35,840
next Star Wars movie. Let's see what you can do. Dude.

303
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Speaker 1: Sure, yeah, I think it'd be really cute. But you know,

304
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Season and I and we'll talk about it on APS.

305
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We've been watching a lot of movies and The Royal

306
00:16:44,759 --> 00:16:47,519
Tenant Bombs is just It's one of the most perfect

307
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movies ever made. It's just, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I take a bottle rocket and rushmore over that any day.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so hit that you don't have to iron this

310
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,720
sheets Rainbow, she has no chill. She tells her that

311
00:17:02,759 --> 00:17:06,359
she needs to just breeze it. And Love Island is

312
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,720
my favorite, Okay. Cirque de Solen is my favorite because

313
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:15,559
Cirque solen Is asked something along the lines of, what

314
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:19,960
do you think we should do? With this sheet, okay,

315
00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:23,119
and Selena's like, let me tell you something. I don't

316
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,680
give a fucking shit would we do with this sheet?

317
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If you want me to leave shit on the sheet,

318
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:31,559
I'll leave shit on the seat. Selena is not not

319
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,119
one to be prodded for. What do you think the

320
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:37,319
best route is here? Okay? This is this is I

321
00:17:37,319 --> 00:17:39,680
think she's there to win Dylan back and launch an

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only fans career.

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Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, well yeah, possibly both those things. But you know,

324
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,680
I thought about it as I was kind of analyzing

325
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,559
Ole Sole. I was like, sea rats are pretty easy

326
00:17:50,599 --> 00:17:54,960
to predict their future actions. You just think what's the

327
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,559
most short sighted, quick buck to make, and you'll have

328
00:17:58,640 --> 00:17:59,599
your answer every time.

329
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, there's no there's no

330
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:06,240
foresight here, right, this is this is panic induced decision

331
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making and and and that's why we have a shell.

332
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Speaker 2: Right, that's why we have a show. Now, dil we

333
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,559
jump over to the crew mess because this still involves

334
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:21,400
Ole Sole. They mock her directly to her face. And

335
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:24,160
the wonderful thing and I'll give this to her, is

336
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:28,720
she is she's made of rubber because it's the bullet's

337
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,839
just fun to Tefla. He bounce off her, and that's

338
00:18:31,839 --> 00:18:33,880
something you can admire in a human being, to be

339
00:18:35,519 --> 00:18:40,480
her face and not get angry. So with that, when

340
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,960
you have a c rat, you can have incompetence. We've

341
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,799
seen that. We've seen people make it the entire season

342
00:18:45,839 --> 00:18:50,039
being absolutely incompetent. What you cannot have is in competence

343
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:54,279
and aggression. And when she starts pushing back, which I

344
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think is inevitable, that will be her undoing.

345
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Speaker 1: Right right right, see million list to see. You know

346
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:06,559
lots of other sea rats who are incompetent and aggressive.

347
00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:09,319
It's just not okay. Now you look at somebody like Brie,

348
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,000
who rain manned her way through an entire season, and

349
00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:15,359
I think the finale figured out that if she put

350
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,480
the color red on certain clothes it would help her

351
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,359
out a lot. She was she was arguably the most

352
00:19:20,400 --> 00:19:22,200
incompetent person we've ever seen on the show. But she

353
00:19:22,279 --> 00:19:25,000
was really lovely and nice to everybody. You know. So

354
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,400
in my recollection, I'm tired and a little high. So anyway,

355
00:19:31,279 --> 00:19:33,839
we're eating Chinese, we're feuding, and we're feuding in front

356
00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,119
of Captain Carrey. But but I have to ask you,

357
00:19:38,559 --> 00:19:41,559
what is going on with the preference sheets this season.

358
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Speaker 2: Well, Captain Carey has decided to split them up. He's

359
00:19:44,519 --> 00:19:49,240
broken format and structure. I think he's making a you know,

360
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,079
he's doing his own thing, and I kind of respect

361
00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:53,759
the hell out of him for it. As we've seen,

362
00:19:53,799 --> 00:19:58,559
he is the only captain to God forbid inspect the

363
00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:01,680
boat before paying enter it.

364
00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:04,880
Speaker 1: You're saying he's pulling Ryan Johnson on this whole thing.

365
00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:08,519
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, he's subverting. Is that

366
00:20:08,559 --> 00:20:09,160
what it's called?

367
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Ryan Johnson should be in

368
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,200
Guantanamo right now.

369
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, just for the Last Knives Out film.

370
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:26,279
Speaker 1: Yeah. So we're getting binders, and within the binder we

371
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,839
are told and we should just yell at for the ritual, right,

372
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:29,559
it's time for.

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Speaker 2: The Oh yeah, it's time for the preference made up.

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00:20:36,559 --> 00:20:40,079
Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm not gonna yell because the little ones in

375
00:20:40,119 --> 00:20:42,880
there and if she wakes up my wife, my wife

376
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,119
will stab me. Maybe not with anything major.

377
00:20:46,519 --> 00:20:49,160
Speaker 2: I can't wait to talk about you being a new

378
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:53,119
dad on APS because I'm going to take great glee

379
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,640
and having to give you the unfortunate news your wife

380
00:20:55,680 --> 00:20:59,480
is going to hate your guts for the next year. Oh,

381
00:20:59,519 --> 00:21:01,960
look already did it? I spilled the beans.

382
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,680
Speaker 1: We'll see, we'll see. I'm pretty good dad. Okay. So anyways,

383
00:21:06,839 --> 00:21:14,920
we have upcoming. I think I can hear her. She's up. Sorry, okay,

384
00:21:16,079 --> 00:21:17,559
my wife hates me right now.

385
00:21:17,599 --> 00:21:21,240
Speaker 2: She hates me yelling preference sheet meeting.

386
00:21:21,359 --> 00:21:24,880
Speaker 1: No, it's in my headphones. Okay. So anyways, we have

387
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:26,599
a five day charter. It's going to be the longest

388
00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:29,160
we've ever had, I think, and it is going to

389
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:33,000
be with Sky Knox and his seven gay porn star friends.

390
00:21:33,039 --> 00:21:35,839
Speaker 2: Okay, Sky has two wys. By the way, I love

391
00:21:36,119 --> 00:21:38,680
a name that adds an actual letter for no reason

392
00:21:38,759 --> 00:21:43,119
other than other than make you sound more interesting. Yeah,

393
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:46,720
I'm pat Oh I I put it there. No no, no, no,

394
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:49,079
you forgot the T no no no, I got it.

395
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:50,680
I wrote it down. There's a T P a T

396
00:21:51,079 --> 00:21:54,000
no no no no two teas at the end. Well,

397
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,519
I will I'm interesting.

398
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:02,519
Speaker 1: I will say, Sky with two why's is gayer than

399
00:22:02,599 --> 00:22:08,319
Sky with one? Y? So mission accomplished. We're gonna have

400
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,559
a Parisian lube fest. We're going to three island's full countries.

401
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:16,680
And you know I take umbrage with Carrie. That's a

402
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,599
little bit like going to the four corners and saying

403
00:22:18,599 --> 00:22:20,559
that you're in four states. You know, it's like you're

404
00:22:20,559 --> 00:22:24,359
in a hodgepodge of you know, the same time. Yeah, exactly,

405
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:24,839
so good.

406
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:28,000
Speaker 2: It sounds good, though, it sounds good till I will

407
00:22:28,039 --> 00:22:31,519
say this, because we have gay guests on this charter,

408
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:36,720
get prepare yourself for the sexual double entantras. Hi. I

409
00:22:36,759 --> 00:22:39,440
love to finger paint. By the way, this is my

410
00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:47,319
boyfriend paint, you know, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, I

411
00:22:47,319 --> 00:22:55,640
think he said that. Anyway, did you and did you.

412
00:22:54,000 --> 00:23:03,519
Speaker 1: Out a second? Lets let me just just preface this. Hm. Okay,

413
00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,720
these people I know are already going to annoy the

414
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:07,440
shit out of me, all right, because I don't like

415
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:10,680
overtly horny people. Okay, it doesn't matter that they're gay,

416
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,359
it doesn't matter if they're straight. Okay. If you take

417
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,440
a napkin ring and go, oh my gosh, it's a

418
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,920
cock ring, you're annoying, you know, because it's not a

419
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,559
cock ring. It's a ring for napkins. But whatever, we'll

420
00:23:22,599 --> 00:23:25,559
get into the whole thing. So the two chefs are

421
00:23:25,559 --> 00:23:28,160
really hanging a bang and it's very cute. Anthony says

422
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,319
he's a dad to cats. You know, before I was

423
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:33,039
a non breeder, I was a dad to cats. It

424
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:37,160
is as a it's a different story, but but none

425
00:23:37,759 --> 00:23:40,440
no less, no less rewarding. I mean, I love my

426
00:23:40,519 --> 00:23:42,519
dots so much. He's been such a trooper with this

427
00:23:42,519 --> 00:23:42,920
whole thing.

428
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 2: Now we get to this what always going to feel

429
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:48,119
when God lowers his hand down during the rapture to

430
00:23:48,240 --> 00:23:51,160
lift Chef Lawrence up into heaven and he has to

431
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,960
wave at those two cats as they're you know, their

432
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,240
souls are burning.

433
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:59,799
Speaker 1: You know, well he's sorry, Chef Anthony's not getting lifted

434
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:00,480
up into.

435
00:24:00,519 --> 00:24:03,160
Speaker 2: Oh I'm Cheff Lawrence, I said Jeff Lorence.

436
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,240
Speaker 1: Okay, Chef Lawrence is going to be waving at Anthony

437
00:24:06,799 --> 00:24:08,839
and his cat. Is that what you're saying?

438
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,279
Speaker 2: Okay, I forgot I thought Jeff Lawrence had the cats.

439
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,119
I'm a dummy. No, no, I should go to Hall for that.

440
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: No, no, no, this is what happens. Okay, the rapture comes.

441
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:25,839
People are obliterated, right, just obliterated, and Lawrence is picked

442
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,960
up by the hand of God and he says, God,

443
00:24:27,960 --> 00:24:30,440
I'd like to pay a visit to one person before

444
00:24:30,480 --> 00:24:34,920
I head out, And he goes to Anthony's apartment, and

445
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,400
he tells him, you know you're gonna fucking run hell,

446
00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:42,119
you know all this shit, And then he's God's going

447
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,640
to pick up Anthony's cat and Lawrence is going to

448
00:24:44,799 --> 00:24:47,799
hold Anthony's cat and descend up into heaven and then

449
00:24:48,319 --> 00:24:52,039
flame ball. You know Anthony? I don't, I don't know. Bummer,

450
00:24:53,319 --> 00:24:56,519
big bumb big bar. I mean, can you imagine? So

451
00:24:56,599 --> 00:25:01,160
Selene has a bracelet, a relic from and we should

452
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:05,119
say we love Anthony, he's a sweetheart. Well yeah, we're just.

453
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,839
Speaker 2: Maybe we'll have you on or your uncle. How would

454
00:25:08,839 --> 00:25:09,240
you like that?

455
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:13,680
Speaker 1: Okay, Anthony's great. Okay, it's just kind of the shot

456
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:15,640
and freud of it all. It's very funny. Okay, so

457
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:18,160
like so funny.

458
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 2: All right, So.

459
00:25:22,200 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 1: I'm so scared. My wife is listening to me laugh

460
00:25:25,759 --> 00:25:30,240
about this guy whose wife got stolen by his uncle.

461
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,440
Well she's she's dealing with a screaming baby in there. Anyways,

462
00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:37,599
you know what this is, This is part of my life.

463
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,680
I have to just shed the guilt right now. Okay,

464
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,559
all right, So Selene has a bracelet. This was a

465
00:25:43,839 --> 00:25:47,920
wild twist. Okay, this was a wild twist. You suspects, do,

466
00:25:48,079 --> 00:25:52,240
I say, sirat history with Selene. She has a keepsake

467
00:25:52,319 --> 00:25:57,920
from a past relationship with my namesake, the buff former

468
00:25:58,039 --> 00:26:02,519
Fatty Weirdo himself, the lovable Dylan himself.

469
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 2: My good, she's still she's still connected with him. You know,

470
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:09,119
I have to tell you it's not often we have

471
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,599
two hot people in a relationship like this. They're both

472
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,960
on equal uh footing as far as looks. You know,

473
00:26:16,599 --> 00:26:19,039
too bad those two crazy kids couldn't make it work. Oh,

474
00:26:19,079 --> 00:26:21,920
by the way, uh, you know, some people actually really

475
00:26:22,119 --> 00:26:24,119
listen to this podcast because they love the show. Below deck,

476
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:29,440
I believe it is. Gail and Nathan just gave birth

477
00:26:29,480 --> 00:26:31,599
to their beautiful child this week.

478
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 1: Congrats, I think colic. Okay, Fraser was good. We get

479
00:26:38,920 --> 00:26:40,519
to the next day, people are spraying each other in

480
00:26:40,519 --> 00:26:43,119
the face, and Fraser was going to put you sorry.

481
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,440
Speaker 2: Oh I was going to do a sigouyde don't Yeah. Yeah,

482
00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,119
you know. I used to love to pop bottles when

483
00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,079
Patty was partying, you know, but then I got old

484
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,279
and I got kind of in a rut. You know

485
00:26:54,319 --> 00:26:59,640
what got me out of that Rutdyl? What's that first leave? Firstly,

486
00:27:00,519 --> 00:27:04,680
Oh my god, They curate wines based on my taste

487
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:07,400
and deliver them to my door. Now I'm discovering all

488
00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:10,640
these fresh, bright flavors I wouldn't have picked for myself.

489
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,759
I'm a filthy, yucky normy. I'd buy my wine at Ralph's.

490
00:27:13,759 --> 00:27:16,799
That's a disgusting grocery store. Thank god this company exists.

491
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,119
Speaker 1: Yeah. That's been sending me pictures of all the wines

492
00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,359
that he's been getting, and he's been going come over

493
00:27:23,759 --> 00:27:26,279
and I'm going, I can, I have a baby, and

494
00:27:26,319 --> 00:27:28,799
then he goes, JK, you weren't invited. I'm drinking all

495
00:27:28,839 --> 00:27:30,119
of it myself.

496
00:27:31,160 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Patty loves a party.

497
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:34,559
Speaker 1: Well.

498
00:27:34,599 --> 00:27:39,319
Speaker 2: They curate wines from citrusy whites to refreshing rosees, no repeats,

499
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,599
just the perfect sip for the perfect season, you know.

500
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,039
Del I tried a wine from Chili this week, a

501
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,880
red wine. Also, I had a beautiful chardonnay from the

502
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,079
Columbia Valley of Washington. I can't hit that wine at

503
00:27:52,079 --> 00:27:57,200
my local disgusting grocery store. Thank god this company exists.

504
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:02,200
Speaker 1: All right, So I with first, there are people there

505
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,279
that care. Right, If you go to Ralphs and you go, hey,

506
00:28:04,279 --> 00:28:05,839
can you tell me a little bit about the collection.

507
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:08,880
The person you're talking to is actually on fentanyl, so

508
00:28:09,039 --> 00:28:10,920
they will have zero clue.

509
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,400
Speaker 2: Oh that's what's wrong with them. I thought they were

510
00:28:13,440 --> 00:28:15,880
just like walking around in circles for no reason.

511
00:28:16,680 --> 00:28:22,200
Speaker 1: Well, it's the soullessness combined with the fentanyl, and that's

512
00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,839
a nasty combole. You'll go blind from that stuff, you know.

513
00:28:26,079 --> 00:28:28,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, well maybe I wish I was blind. But you

514
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,680
know what, I'm always having a good time when I'm

515
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:35,200
drinking wine from first Leaf. Remember easy to get started.

516
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,319
I just answered a few quick questions about my taste preferences,

517
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:40,799
and they did the rest. One of my favorite parts

518
00:28:40,799 --> 00:28:43,559
about first Leaf membership is how flexible it is. I

519
00:28:43,599 --> 00:28:45,759
can choose when and where are my wine shipments come,

520
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,079
so I'm always stocked up and ready to host friends

521
00:28:49,079 --> 00:28:53,920
for those special occasions. As I said, Patty loves a party. Okay,

522
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,960
so this is their deal. Join first Leave today and

523
00:28:57,039 --> 00:29:00,640
enjoy the fresh vibes of summer with wine you'll love.

524
00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,720
Go to first leaf dot com slash bad tv to

525
00:29:03,759 --> 00:29:06,799
sign up and you'll get your first get this first

526
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:10,960
six handpick bottles for forty four ninety five. That's try

527
00:29:11,039 --> 00:29:14,680
first leap. Is't that crazy deal? Try first leaf dot

528
00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,799
com slash bad TV. Try first leaf dot com slash

529
00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:21,599
bad TV. Whathre the hell were we deal? Oh yeah,

530
00:29:21,799 --> 00:29:22,480
next morning?

531
00:29:23,519 --> 00:29:28,079
Speaker 1: Okay, so next morning, by the way, the call that

532
00:29:28,119 --> 00:29:32,640
I got from Malibu, California was actually a an infandentist

533
00:29:32,799 --> 00:29:35,559
who may be doing a little tongue tie surgery for

534
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,319
my baby Lucy eleven.

535
00:29:41,119 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 2: They gets you coming and going, brother, my.

536
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: Goodness, gracious. All right. So we're spraying each other in

537
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,519
the face, and Fraser wants to put lube in the room,

538
00:29:51,599 --> 00:29:53,839
but figures it's not a great idea because he doesn't

539
00:29:53,880 --> 00:29:58,160
want to encourage the sex and change the sheets and phrase,

540
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:02,559
I think you know this, but you could have no

541
00:30:02,759 --> 00:30:08,799
lube anywhere on this vessel. They would find it and

542
00:30:08,839 --> 00:30:10,599
you will be cleaning those sheets.

543
00:30:11,119 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 2: I'm so glad you caught that too, because Captain Carrie

544
00:30:14,519 --> 00:30:17,279
inspects every inch of this boat for cleanliness. And I

545
00:30:17,319 --> 00:30:20,000
was thinking, brother, don't bother in this charter. In about

546
00:30:20,039 --> 00:30:22,359
three hours, the entire boat's gonna look like a glazed

547
00:30:22,359 --> 00:30:25,640
donuts everywhere.

548
00:30:25,880 --> 00:30:32,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know that big donut, that

549
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:35,240
Brandy's donut. That's what the boat's gonna look like there's

550
00:30:35,279 --> 00:30:36,880
just going to be seen it all over the place

551
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,000
and evidently pits.

552
00:30:39,119 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's you know what. I don't think anybody's ever said, uh,

553
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,839
I got a pete in my stink pipe on television ever.

554
00:30:47,759 --> 00:30:51,000
You know, there's not a lot of first in reality TV.

555
00:30:51,119 --> 00:30:52,119
But that was definitely what.

556
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,039
Speaker 1: And that's why we love this show.

557
00:30:54,839 --> 00:30:56,759
Speaker 2: So look, with that marriage, dude.

558
00:30:57,359 --> 00:30:59,440
Speaker 1: The guys are not going are going to want to

559
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:04,000
work out in the raw, and Captain Carey is uniformless.

560
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:06,960
Now Rainbow has quite bad at it. She gets the

561
00:31:07,039 --> 00:31:11,720
Andrew Wilson pickle at it. If you want something done,

562
00:31:11,799 --> 00:31:14,400
do it yourself, she says, and then fails to open

563
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,440
up a bottle. Now, the Andrew Wilson at it I'm

564
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:25,279
referring to is a chauvinist influencer who constantly talks about

565
00:31:25,279 --> 00:31:27,440
how weamen are useless. And he was mocking someone for

566
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:29,000
not being able to open up a pickle jar and

567
00:31:29,079 --> 00:31:30,480
she gave it to him and he couldn't open it.

568
00:31:30,599 --> 00:31:33,200
But then that girl's boyfriend came out and opened it. It

569
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:37,160
was very emasculating and just chef's kiss. But anyway, so

570
00:31:37,279 --> 00:31:40,240
are we ready for some b D energy. The guests

571
00:31:40,319 --> 00:31:43,440
have arrived and we head out of the Death to

572
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:48,119
for the but through the death defying bridge that Carrie

573
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:49,880
can slam into it at anytime. Now, I want to

574
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,000
tell you something, Pat, if we don't hit this bridge

575
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,000
this season, I would have you pissed off.

576
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:58,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, I hear you. I thought the same thing. A

577
00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:01,240
couple things to point out here though, right before this happens.

578
00:32:01,319 --> 00:32:04,279
This is our first snaff you foo with Carrie's uniform

579
00:32:04,359 --> 00:32:07,680
not being prepared. And then we do the docking while

580
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,079
it's raining, and I have to give it to the

581
00:32:10,119 --> 00:32:14,839
gaze because I was waiting for the inevitable double ententra.

582
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:21,200
We have a large phallic symbol going through I guess

583
00:32:21,240 --> 00:32:23,680
a space with little room and yeah, and one of

584
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,799
them didn't say it's as tight as Ron's ass.

585
00:32:26,880 --> 00:32:30,359
Speaker 1: Right, right, right, because this is and I love Lucy Cutaway, right,

586
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:34,519
you know, this is Lucy and Ricky laying down. I

587
00:32:34,559 --> 00:32:37,039
think that's what they did on that show. But fast

588
00:32:37,039 --> 00:32:39,799
forward to the Depravity of twenty twenty five, and that's

589
00:32:39,839 --> 00:32:43,079
what Lawrence is talking about, the raptures coming, and you

590
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:46,119
know there's no allusion to we're just talking about Hey,

591
00:32:46,119 --> 00:32:49,200
This reminds me of getting pissed and my ship pipe,

592
00:32:49,279 --> 00:32:56,319
you know, you know that kind of thing. Anyways, So

593
00:32:56,319 --> 00:32:59,799
so that's crazy. So let's get to lunch. The conquering

594
00:32:59,839 --> 00:33:02,799
is the napkins. It is not for your cock coat

595
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:07,240
to buff with. Asparagus is up first, coupled with shrimp,

596
00:33:07,599 --> 00:33:13,599
salmon salad and tomato and bad. I know, I'm wondering,

597
00:33:14,039 --> 00:33:18,920
you know, my my asshole is a little bit like

598
00:33:19,119 --> 00:33:22,000
the and I'm gonna hurry up with this and not

599
00:33:22,519 --> 00:33:25,480
discuss it too much, but my asshole is a little

600
00:33:25,519 --> 00:33:29,240
bit like that temple that Indie went into to try

601
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,960
to get the uh, I don't know that sack or

602
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,400
whatever though, yeah, that golden fucking thing or whatever. So

603
00:33:36,559 --> 00:33:39,440
I'm not really too up to speed on the kind

604
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:43,039
of nutrition, the kind of intake. But cote to buff

605
00:33:43,079 --> 00:33:47,160
and salmon salad does not sound like something you want

606
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:51,160
to be jesting if you're gonna beginning your ship by biston,

607
00:33:51,319 --> 00:33:55,160
you know what I mean. So I don't know, I

608
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:57,880
don't know. Get the comments, let us know, but we

609
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,519
it was a lovely lunch, know this.

610
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 2: They seem okay with standard fair.

611
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was good. Seven bots, So we get to

612
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:09,440
this thing, which is I guess more common nowadays. Evidently

613
00:34:09,519 --> 00:34:15,159
gay porn stars who are straight. This is a common

614
00:34:15,199 --> 00:34:18,559
thing that happens. I've heard, I've heard about it.

615
00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 2: I think about it.

616
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:23,400
Speaker 1: These guys are just banging away and going home to

617
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:25,159
their lovely Jenna or whatever.

618
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:29,280
Speaker 2: Now I would argue gay for play, right, you're taking

619
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,320
home a paycheck. You come home. The wive said, how

620
00:34:32,519 --> 00:34:35,159
is work? She's disappointed, clearly, but she understands. You know,

621
00:34:35,199 --> 00:34:38,880
there's a mortgage to pay. You have someone pissing your

622
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:43,119
stink pipe, you know, just says for fun. Yeah, I

623
00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:45,119
don't know that's problematic for me.

624
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, it's not problem It's just that you're probably gay.

625
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:55,320
But if you're doing it for pay, you can tell

626
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:58,360
the missus. You know, listen, do you want to take

627
00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:01,199
the kids to the Grandila this year? Then I gotta

628
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:04,280
keep sucking second dick. Okay, what am I going to

629
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:06,519
work at Target?

630
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 2: Jesus Christman, I'll be so depressed, you know there?

631
00:35:12,079 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: Would you just shut up and leave me alone?

632
00:35:17,599 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 2: Thanksgiving is gonna be tough with the family, So I

633
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,119
guess we shouldn't ask about how work is.

634
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:25,599
Speaker 1: Her dad is a real evangelist. You know, he's not.

635
00:35:26,400 --> 00:35:27,760
He doesn't really support it.

636
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:35,159
Speaker 2: He loves his grandkids. Though. There's a show HBO did

637
00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:39,280
like twenty years ago, a series called Pornacopia, and it

638
00:35:39,400 --> 00:35:42,719
covers all the lives of porn stars at that time

639
00:35:43,079 --> 00:35:46,599
doing porn in the valley. It's a fascinating series. Oh yeah,

640
00:35:46,639 --> 00:35:48,920
and one was a straight guy with a girlfriend.

641
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:56,400
Speaker 1: Yeah and uh yeah, Pna Colia. Okay, we got a

642
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,480
meanwhile here, all right.

643
00:35:57,599 --> 00:35:59,679
Speaker 2: Meanwhile, chowd doesn't.

644
00:35:59,519 --> 00:36:03,760
Speaker 1: Let Jesse and the break situation is bad. Evidently we'll

645
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:06,400
get to more on that at five o'clock. But chow is,

646
00:36:07,039 --> 00:36:12,199
you know, maybe I don't have a good dar for this,

647
00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:14,679
but I thought he was gonna be great. But it

648
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,599
does seem as though he's being set up to fail.

649
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:18,199
We'll talk about at the end of the episode. This

650
00:36:18,239 --> 00:36:21,039
is a very confusing arc for me. But anyways, we

651
00:36:21,079 --> 00:36:23,719
get some crete history with Rainbow, and this is when

652
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:31,960
we find out why Rainbow has no chill. It's because, to.

653
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 2: Take it away, she hates her dad and her sister

654
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,400
and everyone and she's dead inside. Yeah, having your dad

655
00:36:40,559 --> 00:36:45,400
drop you off on an island to basically a fight

656
00:36:45,519 --> 00:36:48,199
for the death fight to the death with your sibling.

657
00:36:48,480 --> 00:36:51,440
That will do that to you. Yeah, that's emotionally scarring,

658
00:36:51,519 --> 00:36:52,239
that's traumatic.

659
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:54,719
Speaker 1: Yeah. And what she left out was there were a

660
00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:58,239
bunch of friends of his from the docks quote unquote

661
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:00,960
who were smoking and gambling on them and that just

662
00:37:01,079 --> 00:37:06,039
adds Yeah, another detail to a very sad story.

663
00:37:06,199 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 2: I've brought this up on the show before, and some

664
00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:11,360
people say I'm not sympathetic to Matt Perry, the famous

665
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:18,559
actor's plight, But when asked why, no, I'm not, he

666
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:21,480
shared a story where one time his mom didn't pick

667
00:37:21,559 --> 00:37:23,360
him up at school on time and he had to

668
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,079
sit for an hour. Yeah, and that's how he was

669
00:37:26,159 --> 00:37:30,880
explaining way what he called together forty years of drug use.

670
00:37:31,599 --> 00:37:35,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just saying, yeah, No, you know, sometimes we

671
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,039
need to you know, we need to step outside of

672
00:37:39,079 --> 00:37:41,559
the main and observe the eye and really see who's

673
00:37:41,599 --> 00:37:43,599
in control of me. And if you're not able to

674
00:37:43,719 --> 00:37:47,719
do that, you probably just rail a bunch of academy

675
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,400
and then fall asleep. At the bottom of the bath,

676
00:37:49,519 --> 00:37:51,480
which we've talked about numerous times is one of the

677
00:37:51,519 --> 00:37:52,880
worst places to fall asleep.

678
00:37:53,519 --> 00:37:56,320
Speaker 2: Don't take a nap in a jacuzza on Academy. You know,

679
00:37:57,039 --> 00:38:00,159
I wish Rainbow was sitting at that jacuzzi because she

680
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:04,519
would have said, what happened to you? My mom didn't

681
00:38:04,519 --> 00:38:08,960
pick me up a drop off one day? Oh my

682
00:38:09,119 --> 00:38:12,519
dad used to have my sister and I kill each

683
00:38:12,559 --> 00:38:14,639
other on an island that he left us at.

684
00:38:15,079 --> 00:38:20,360
Speaker 1: If Rainbow was sitting on the lip of the jacuzzi

685
00:38:20,679 --> 00:38:24,039
that Matthew Perry was taking a nap, then even if

686
00:38:24,079 --> 00:38:27,039
she didn't know, I feel like Rainbow would have Walter

687
00:38:27,159 --> 00:38:33,519
White and him had just looked and just been like, babe, babe,

688
00:38:33,559 --> 00:38:36,639
this is this is your problem. He's gonna die. Rainbow.

689
00:38:37,599 --> 00:38:40,280
Isn't your name? Rainbow? Okay, so we clean up a

690
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:47,960
little bit. The Biblical chef clearly cannot hang on this boat.

691
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:52,440
You know, Anthony is very very sweet, but you know,

692
00:38:52,559 --> 00:38:54,679
later in the episode we'll have a conversation with him

693
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:59,880
and Carrie Whearing. Carrie tells him, you know this is

694
00:39:00,079 --> 00:39:04,519
the best. You don't you're you can't be that.

695
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:13,000
Speaker 2: And and also these people, I love it.

696
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:18,280
Speaker 1: These people don't even want that, So don't worry about it, okay,

697
00:39:19,280 --> 00:39:22,519
And and that's really really great leadership. Right, Let's not

698
00:39:23,320 --> 00:39:25,639
try to get into Harvard. Right, let's try to get

699
00:39:25,639 --> 00:39:28,679
into Seasid. Okay, that way, you know we can go

700
00:39:28,760 --> 00:39:34,480
to college. But but chef Rapture is clearly like whoa,

701
00:39:34,559 --> 00:39:36,320
I got to get away from this guy. I gotta

702
00:39:36,360 --> 00:39:39,599
get away from this boat. Christ is pulling me up

703
00:39:39,679 --> 00:39:42,320
the rope ladder and it's not going to happen here.

704
00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:47,480
So we get another uniform mishap, and I think this

705
00:39:47,639 --> 00:39:48,360
is the third one.

706
00:39:48,559 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 2: This is third strike, either second or third.

707
00:39:51,639 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: Okay, well we get ready for French cabaret.

708
00:39:53,559 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 2: First up is Hey, sorry, Dell, this is such a

709
00:39:57,360 --> 00:40:01,559
stereotypical gay theme party. How about a bunch of gay

710
00:40:01,599 --> 00:40:03,280
guys that want a Star Wars theme?

711
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:04,119
Speaker 1: Yeah?

712
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 2: Would you like to see like an e walk at

713
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,559
jizz done or something like raise your hands?

714
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:09,159
Speaker 3: Yeah?

715
00:40:09,199 --> 00:40:11,920
Speaker 1: I mean maybe not getjizz done, just because they're so

716
00:40:12,039 --> 00:40:14,159
little and cute, and I don't want to sexualize their

717
00:40:14,400 --> 00:40:17,360
their cute little culture. I mean, can you they were

718
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,960
on of Devians Listen. I can imagine if Ryan Johnson

719
00:40:21,079 --> 00:40:23,480
was helming a project with Eyx, they'd probably be fucking

720
00:40:23,519 --> 00:40:26,000
cracking off nuts on one another and people would be

721
00:40:26,039 --> 00:40:28,320
interviewing him like, why did you make that choice and

722
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,400
he'd be like mine felt it was right.

723
00:40:31,599 --> 00:40:33,760
Speaker 2: You killed Luke Skywalkers out of a bitch.

724
00:40:34,199 --> 00:40:38,760
Speaker 1: But anyways, yeah, like you know what I think. I

725
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:43,400
think the gays would crush a Rambo team. Oh oh

726
00:40:43,559 --> 00:40:46,719
my god, that would be so sexy. You know what

727
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:47,119
I mean.

728
00:40:47,559 --> 00:40:51,199
Speaker 2: I get creative gaze, come on times.

729
00:40:51,519 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: Okay, So we have an oyster with a champagne foam

730
00:40:55,320 --> 00:41:00,599
and also second churse I guess is Kyle's asshole, which

731
00:41:00,679 --> 00:41:01,039
is cool?

732
00:41:02,239 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 2: Which one was the the oyster foam because I couldn't

733
00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:07,800
believe there was There wasn't a you know, a cum joke.

734
00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and again you know, we're shitting on these

735
00:41:10,440 --> 00:41:14,840
people and they're shitting on each other. But this was

736
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,880
a lot of restraint because there is a coum joke there. Anyways,

737
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:22,800
Next up is uh steak with stewed carrot stuffed like

738
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:28,320
hard little penises in mashed potatoes. And the third dish,

739
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:32,440
the dessert is a red wine poached pear. Now, the

740
00:41:32,519 --> 00:41:38,199
red wine poached pear is it's a classic dish, the

741
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:45,159
way that Salisbury steak is a classic dish. Okay, I

742
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:50,840
don't want it, really, yeah, I don't want that. Okay,

743
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:57,119
this is the rapture giving up. Okay, it is, he's

744
00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,800
he's he's too tired to highlight anymore for versus tonight.

745
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,840
He's just going to go to bed with a podcast

746
00:42:04,159 --> 00:42:07,000
about scripture. Okay, So the talent show is going to

747
00:42:07,079 --> 00:42:10,480
be twerking and ur Also we see oh Dinner, four

748
00:42:10,559 --> 00:42:14,480
pots Marcel, one of the guests can shove a fist

749
00:42:14,639 --> 00:42:18,760
in his mouth, And I was just thinking, you know,

750
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:23,039
it's really good in life to be prepared for any scenario, right,

751
00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,639
But I don't think there's a dick this big. I'm

752
00:42:25,679 --> 00:42:26,239
Planet Earth.

753
00:42:26,599 --> 00:42:30,559
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no. Well, I guess if King Kong

754
00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:32,920
was real, he could face talking balls in there. Yeah,

755
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,079
but I was thinking, you know, if his mom and

756
00:42:35,199 --> 00:42:38,800
dad were watching, I'm sure they were tearing up, and

757
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,840
not a not a happy way.

758
00:42:41,760 --> 00:42:43,320
Speaker 1: Well you don't know that, you know, they could have

759
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:49,039
been on their feet throwing popcorn at the ceiling. So, Jess,

760
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:52,800
we get back to this whole break thing. She once

761
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:56,039
worked a two hundred day shift with no breaks and

762
00:42:56,559 --> 00:43:03,519
evidently finked it at the end. Yeah, that's a hard

763
00:43:03,599 --> 00:43:05,000
one to believe. Anyways.

764
00:43:05,039 --> 00:43:07,119
Speaker 2: So, by the way, at this point, there are two

765
00:43:07,159 --> 00:43:09,360
people on this boat that have zero camera time. That

766
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,199
would be Damo. That's the guy who has his ball's puerced.

767
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,960
And then Jess, I feel like they're not on the show. Yeah,

768
00:43:15,199 --> 00:43:15,719
be careful.

769
00:43:17,119 --> 00:43:18,719
Speaker 1: Damo's not on the show, but he'll make out with

770
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:21,119
Fraser next week. So do we find so Rainbow and

771
00:43:21,199 --> 00:43:23,280
Love Island are not doing well? Rainbow is having a

772
00:43:23,320 --> 00:43:25,599
full blown panic attack at two fifteen of the morning

773
00:43:26,039 --> 00:43:31,480
in mary Go Bay. Rainbow, after having the panic attack,

774
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,280
does one of these things that, you know, I think

775
00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:40,199
that it would be beneficial to watch yourself on reality

776
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:45,480
TV because personal growth can be painful a lot of times.

777
00:43:45,679 --> 00:43:47,920
You know, we listen back to shows and I cringe

778
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:49,760
at some of the stuff I say, and it's it's

779
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,880
helpful for me. It's it's it's awful, but it's helpful

780
00:43:53,559 --> 00:43:56,360
when Rainbow watches back. You know, I know that we've

781
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,920
had Fight Island with the you know, the guy's bed

782
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:05,119
and screaming, you know, to pick up various natural weapons,

783
00:44:05,199 --> 00:44:09,559
be they rocks or branches on Fight Island. I understand

784
00:44:09,599 --> 00:44:14,679
that that's painful. But if she doesn't watch this conversation

785
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:19,039
with Dano back and go louly, yikes, I gotta change.

786
00:44:19,159 --> 00:44:24,079
Something's going on. So she tells Dano that she is

787
00:44:24,199 --> 00:44:27,559
going to lie to the girls and say that she

788
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,960
went to bed an hour earlier than she actually did

789
00:44:31,559 --> 00:44:37,239
because they cannot do fruit and coffee service in the

790
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:41,599
morning without her. Now, what fruit and coffee service is

791
00:44:42,039 --> 00:44:45,360
is cutting up kiwis leaving the skin on, leaving the la,

792
00:44:45,639 --> 00:44:50,719
leaving the little sticker on, and putting an espresso pods

793
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:53,079
in an espresso machine. She's going to lie to them

794
00:44:53,159 --> 00:44:54,760
because they can't do it without her.

795
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:58,280
Speaker 2: This was her storming, storming Normandy. You know.

796
00:44:59,440 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, boy, that was grizzly. Huh, that whole Normandy thing.

797
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:07,880
My god. You know what I would have said. I

798
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:12,559
would have said, you want me to do what? No way,

799
00:45:13,079 --> 00:45:15,360
no way, absolutely not.

800
00:45:17,159 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 2: So I'll tell you what. I'll be in back of

801
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:23,239
the boat. I'll make sure the boat's okay. No, no, no,

802
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:24,760
you go, you go, you go.

803
00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:26,639
Speaker 1: I got a tie my shoe.

804
00:45:27,159 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 2: Well, who's gonna look.

805
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:33,119
Speaker 1: At that for the actually Okay, So we had some

806
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,880
crazy stuff happened in the bedroom overnight, as we mentioned.

807
00:45:36,639 --> 00:45:37,920
Speaker 2: Next morning, I think.

808
00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:40,280
Speaker 1: We've said this fifteen times, but someone.

809
00:45:40,679 --> 00:45:43,639
Speaker 2: Speed in his asshole. Yeah, you know, I didn't have

810
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:47,360
a problem with the statement itself. It's how nonchalant the

811
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:49,079
tone was. It was like him saying he was going

812
00:45:49,159 --> 00:45:49,800
to get some tea.

813
00:45:50,920 --> 00:45:54,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, there was there was a composure to the

814
00:45:57,039 --> 00:45:58,400
the broaching of the topic.

815
00:45:58,480 --> 00:45:58,639
Speaker 2: You know.

816
00:45:58,719 --> 00:46:03,280
Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, it's crazy. I've never had somebody

817
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:09,440
passing my ship by before. And forgive us for the

818
00:46:09,719 --> 00:46:12,840
many women of which our audience is ninety eight percent of.

819
00:46:13,800 --> 00:46:17,639
Please understand that Patrick and I are still boys. So

820
00:46:20,440 --> 00:46:24,480
so yeah, we can get better. Hopefully my daughter matures me.

821
00:46:24,559 --> 00:46:26,440
But there's a little Peter Pan going on that all

822
00:46:26,519 --> 00:46:33,360
the time. So I apologize. So Selene, we're we're gonna

823
00:46:33,360 --> 00:46:39,559
have to clean that up. Man. So kid's mom loves

824
00:46:39,599 --> 00:46:42,559
his porn, and we get some Searet history with Barbara.

825
00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:47,440
She is gay. Egg whites are served. Egg whites are disgusting.

826
00:46:47,639 --> 00:46:51,280
I don't understand why people eat egg whites. It's I guess.

827
00:46:53,039 --> 00:46:53,320
Speaker 2: God.

828
00:46:53,679 --> 00:46:57,639
Speaker 1: I mean, if you're yeah, if you're really trying to

829
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,360
go for it, I guess. But I mean, my God.

830
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,360
So we get to Crocus and we put on some

831
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,760
face masks. While the Christian departs, God is shepherding him

832
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,559
off this vessel, and he is going with christ It was.

833
00:47:09,920 --> 00:47:14,000
It was an interesting tenure, a short one. He lasted.

834
00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,760
He lasted as long as that Identity Thief.

835
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:22,039
Speaker 2: I think the Identity Thief only lasted two episodes because

836
00:47:22,079 --> 00:47:23,679
remember he never even made it off the dock.

837
00:47:24,079 --> 00:47:27,719
Speaker 1: Oh that's right, this is the third episode. A little

838
00:47:27,880 --> 00:47:29,079
time traveling for me.

839
00:47:29,199 --> 00:47:29,599
Speaker 2: But yes.

840
00:47:30,599 --> 00:47:33,760
Speaker 1: So we then get to this chow as and doing

841
00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:39,920
well portion of the show where we get a well. First,

842
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,239
we get the confusing pep talk from Carrie where he

843
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:46,679
tells Anthony that listen, you're not good.

844
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:52,159
Speaker 2: Look, here are like high expectations. Okay, you're still looking

845
00:47:52,199 --> 00:47:55,480
at my hand as I'm pointing out the expectation the floor.

846
00:47:57,639 --> 00:48:01,039
The floor is the standard. Okay.

847
00:48:01,559 --> 00:48:04,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, so no, I think Anthony put out a lot

848
00:48:04,519 --> 00:48:07,119
of good food. It's just he's clearly not a professional

849
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,639
because of the state of the galley. Right. The thing

850
00:48:11,679 --> 00:48:17,280
about professional chefs is that there's so much detail orientation

851
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:18,719
that has to go into it. You have to be

852
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:22,320
clean and organized all the time. So if someone has

853
00:48:23,800 --> 00:48:27,880
you know, left a tray out and it has a

854
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:29,960
rat feces in it, you know there's a lot of

855
00:48:30,079 --> 00:48:34,519
room to be improved upon. So anyways, we get this

856
00:48:35,039 --> 00:48:39,920
Chow isn't doing well, so Carrie tells Chow Terry Cherry

857
00:48:41,119 --> 00:48:44,159
sleep deprivation. I'm just chalking it up to that. It's

858
00:48:44,199 --> 00:48:45,280
a really great excuse.

859
00:48:45,599 --> 00:48:54,320
Speaker 2: Just Umbrella probably gets worse. So basically, Carrie in Kao

860
00:48:55,679 --> 00:48:58,400
alerted the guests to the planning of the day and

861
00:48:58,519 --> 00:49:01,920
where they be snorkeling, and they were complete opposites of

862
00:49:02,119 --> 00:49:04,360
what would actually be taking place. And Carrie's like, you

863
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:05,920
made me look like a fucking asshole.

864
00:49:07,079 --> 00:49:10,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, but this is weird. Like so then we get

865
00:49:10,159 --> 00:49:13,599
the banana boat that goes off right, and so we've

866
00:49:13,639 --> 00:49:15,880
had the luggage, We've had the banana boat, and we

867
00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:25,559
have this this snorkeling Snapfoo. When Carrie tells Now, I

868
00:49:25,679 --> 00:49:28,320
love Captain Carrey Catain. Carry's great, he's been on the show.

869
00:49:28,559 --> 00:49:29,119
Friend of the show.

870
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:30,360
Speaker 2: I think he's gonna come back on.

871
00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:32,880
Speaker 1: I would love to have him back on. We can

872
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:40,320
talk about the mangaraves. When he tells Chuao that he

873
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:43,440
told them the wrong area, Chiua is like, how could

874
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,360
you tell them? Like why would you think that they

875
00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:49,000
were snorkeling that way? Like that's a crazy mistake to me.

876
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:53,000
The luggage thing seemed like, I mean, Chiuau was nowhere

877
00:49:53,119 --> 00:49:55,519
near the luggage. I don't understand how that was. It's

878
00:49:55,639 --> 00:50:00,840
just confusing what is getting put on him. The edit

879
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,400
is a little murky. I'm not really understanding what's going on.

880
00:50:04,559 --> 00:50:07,119
I think this might be a little f Martin Luther

881
00:50:07,280 --> 00:50:11,039
King type of situation, right yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. The

882
00:50:11,119 --> 00:50:13,679
stakes are that high. Anyways, get in the comments, let

883
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:15,519
us know what you thought about the episode. Five stars

884
00:50:15,559 --> 00:50:17,719
kind of words. We really really appreciate all the support.

885
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:19,320
Like I said, thank you so much for showing so

886
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:22,840
much luve to my family, and thank you to Pat

887
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,719
Ruby and Kaylin for holding down the fort. We love

888
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,199
you guys very much. Dad podcast at Patreon dot com,

889
00:50:28,320 --> 00:50:31,199
Slash another podcast network. Until next time, I'm Dylan saying

890
00:50:31,199 --> 00:50:34,559
good bye, Pat, saygabye later, dudes,