Speaker 1: This is Corolla Digital made a decision.
Speaker 2: Faced Sunny Sue on I had a vision night.
Speaker 1: Hey everybody, welcome to for crying out loud.
Speaker 3: Bonus bonus thanks to all you Patreon lovers out there.
Speaker 1: We love you guys.
Speaker 4: We uh love how this is going. Ah.
Speaker 1: I mean we're very overwhelmed. We really are.
Speaker 4: We are invigorated about the podcast.
Speaker 3: I feel invigorated, genuinely invigorated, reinvigorated. Rein sounds like we
were already having fun, but now I feel like, Wow,
people are into this. I know it's so sweet and
it really it really is.
Speaker 1: I mean, thank you.
Speaker 3: I don't we can't. I don't know what else to
say as we're blown away.
Speaker 2: Because sometimes I feel like when we do this podcast,
you don't hear as much from the people that love
it as you will sometimes. And this is I'm sure
true for any job or endeavor, but you the people
that sometimes take the time to comment are the people
that have something negative to say, right right. So, at
a certain point, especially if you're not really making the money,
you start feeling like, oh what not.
Speaker 4: I don't want to say why am I doing this?
Speaker 2: Because we know we have a lot of fans we
know it because we see the downloads, right. But at
the same time, you're like, well, you're not hearing the
love as much, and you're hearing people that just have
something mean to say, or this is some complaint.
Speaker 3: Or or it's specific like I heard you talking about
Sonny's IPA and this is what you should do, you
know what I mean, which is what we love and love.
Speaker 1: But this is just like you.
Speaker 2: Don't hear from people that are just like regular listeners,
that just like your show. And all of a sudden
that we're doing Patreon, all of you people that are
fans of the podcast but don't necessarily comment or you're
not active on Facebook, and we see that you're subscribing.
Speaker 4: It makes you feel loved. It's like, oh, we.
Speaker 2: Love your show enough to pay for the bonus content
or for T shirts.
Speaker 3: They are good. I mean, they just want to support
really they did. I know a lot of people, like
I've seen on Twitter, we didn't. I just want to
support you guys, but I didn't know that was going
to happen, I know.
Speaker 4: Anyway, So this is the two shows this week.
Speaker 2: For those of you who are hearing the bonus content
early or who are have listened to the or who
are maybe listening to it after you listen to Tuesday.
Speaker 4: We had two guests this week and it was great.
You're gonna love it.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 4: We didn't get our ketchup time, so we're going to
catch up in the bonus stuff. So what do you
have anything big this week?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 3: I took the kids to say Springsteen, which we talked
about in the other episode. Yeah, that usually a highlight
of my life. I mean, so much fun.
Speaker 4: But we're on spring break.
Speaker 3: Now, we're on spring break the kids. The kids are
kind of flying by the seat of their pants. We
are in full mode construction at my house.
Speaker 4: That sounds awful.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be ungrateful.
Speaker 4: No, but but and it must be nice. But but this.
Speaker 3: Is something that he loves, loves, ultimately loves to do.
And okay, you guys, don't tweet at him that I
was talking with whatever. But Adam, he really enjoyed. I
think he enjoys the I know he enjoys the outcome.
He likes taking people around this warehouse. This warehouse that
we're sitting in right now was dank, smelly, moldy, dirty,
dusty shit everywhere, just just a disaster a couple of
years ago. Right now, you could eat off the floor.
I mean it's fills.
Speaker 1: I have everything.
Speaker 3: Yeah it is Christine say to say about there earlier today.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 3: I'll take a little quick video to put online and
we'll show people.
Speaker 1: I'll show you what it looks like. It is beautiful.
Speaker 3: Okay, office space, there's offices. He's got his. Anyways, he
loves to show that off Okay. He gets satisfaction from that.
So in the beginning of this year, he said, you
know what, I want to fix up the kitchen. I
want to gut the kitchen and redo it. I want
to do a backyard so by summer we can be
enjoying the pool.
Speaker 1: We don't have a pool right now.
Speaker 3: You know, I really and I want you to be
a part of it with me. I want you to
feel I want you to be able to go when
Jody or whoever comes over and goes, oh my god,
look at this place.
Speaker 4: I want you.
Speaker 3: I want to be able to go. Lynette picked out
the tie. Ohnette. That was her idea. You know, I
understand and I appreciate that. So okay, so he's like said,
I want you to do it.
Speaker 1: With me. I know it's not your thing. I know
it's not it's not your thing. So that's fine.
Speaker 3: I'm going to do all the work and whatever, but
I want you to do the you know, the decorating
or Okay. So he tells me that he wants these
vision boards that he does and I know, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Why, but he's right.
Speaker 3: So when he builds something, even when he was doing
the Man Show, they had like he gets the phone core.
Adam has to have a phone core board. He takes
pictures of magazines. He puts it up and then he
lives with it and he sees what just like pictures
of plants or pictures of paint color whatever, puts it
up at the house, lives with it to see if
he likes it. And okay, so he keeps telling me
where's the vision boards, where's the vision boards?
Speaker 1: Where's okay?
Speaker 3: So, honest to god, I went to like three stores
and they didn't have those phone core.
Speaker 1: That he wanted.
Speaker 3: Anyways, I just recently got the boards, but I are
we've been it's been demolition mode.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: So our house has just been one big cloud of dust,
and the kitchen's gut it and his guys are doing it.
I thought he was going to hire a team, but nope, our.
Speaker 4: Guys learned from like the moving tobaccle.
Speaker 1: No, No, he doesn't learn. He doesn't know.
Speaker 3: So so then so he busts out the kitchen. Now,
I've been cleaning and organizing. And when you bust out
a kitchen, you got to not only you got to
take the stuff out of the kitchen, but then where's
it going You gotta clean out. Now it's like a
domino effect. Oh it's going to go there, but we
can't put it there because all the Christmas decorations are there,
So where are we gonna put the kitschen? So we
got to pack up the Christmas decorations and put them
into the warehouse over here. That's got to make room
for that over So I has been doing that, you know,
I understand he said this at the beginning of the year,
the vision board, current whatever, and he kind of been
bringing it up lately. But and I did buy him.
I did buy the magazines, right, and I did start
on my vision board right. Okay, So he's like, okay,
where the guys are coming on Monday to demolition in
the backyard. Where's our board? I don't know what the
backyard's going to look like? Where's the board? So Friday
night after well, I'm just hearing the story already. My
back is killing me after on my feet NonStop for
day for a couple of days, and Bruce Springsteen in between.
Speaker 1: I know, poor me?
Speaker 4: Whysteen? Right, Mama?
Speaker 2: So you gotta go down again when the kitchens and needing, needing,
your focus non stop?
Speaker 3: So okay, so wants the vision word. So I stay
up until ten o'clock. I'm with Natalia because she likes
and the magazines.
Speaker 1: Don't have a ton of pictures of pools. It's just plants.
Speaker 3: I put them on the board. It's kind of half done.
It's a work in progress, the board I started making.
Speaker 4: Can't you just google pools image?
Speaker 1: I can.
Speaker 3: However, my laptop is not working correctly, so I have
to either do it on my phone or I have
to use his computer, which is not the end of
the world anyways, But to me, I priority. I prioritize.
It's not time to decorate the backyard.
Speaker 1: It's time to clean and get get rid of the
dust and get ridden.
Speaker 5: You know that.
Speaker 1: That's what we're in right now.
Speaker 3: It's demolition time, so I'm prioritizing here Monday morning.
Speaker 1: Adam's always in a bad mood.
Speaker 3: Come not a bad mood, but he's in like Dick
move mondays not Mondays every morning kind of between the
time you wake up and until the time you go
to bed, basically, And he comes in this morning. I,
you know, eight thirty in the morning, guys show up.
I'm on spring break, so now I'm sleeping in a
little bit. I got taken by surprise. I didn't realize
what time it was. I inset my own alarm, and
guys are showing up, and Adam's up.
Speaker 1: So I get up.
Speaker 3: I'm in my bathroom and trying to get ready to
come here.
Speaker 1: Natalia's following me around. Did you text Olga? Did you
text my friend Dingle?
Speaker 3: Anyways, so he comes in and he gives me the
vision board that I half made with the plants, and
he says, I have to tell you this hurts my feelings.
Oh no, I gotta be honest, like it just symbolically,
like I've been asking for these vision boards like I
want to.
Speaker 1: I can't you, Like I don't know why you can't.
Speaker 3: Why can't you just I've been saying it since December,
you know, so I can't say, oh, I've been so
busy because he's like.
Speaker 4: Because you're selling the fucking mangria, that aren't you. Listen.
Speaker 2: He's not going to listen to this because it's subscriber
and he's not a subscriber, right, so listen. He's not
going to do this, and our subscribers are not gonna
are not going to tweet him because there are fans,
so we can talk about whatever we want.
Speaker 1: Go for it.
Speaker 4: No, it's just ridiculous. It's just like he doesn't. It's
the same thing.
Speaker 2: That I feel like I deal with sometimes where it's
that feeling where we're we feel undervalued because like what
about this stuff we are doing that?
Speaker 4: Well, you know what, he says.
Speaker 3: We could do a little role play if you want. Okay,
I'll be okay at him, Okay, I'll be you. Okay,
we're all doing stuff. I'm busy too.
Speaker 1: I just went to the permit's office. I'm busy.
Speaker 2: You're busy, I know, But Adam, but this is your
this is what you love to do, this is what
you wanted to do, and you're getting to do it.
I didn't it's not like my dream to all mangria.
But I'm doing it because I'm trying to contribute to
our household. But I'm like, I'm also trying to take
care of the kids and have any semblance of stuff.
Speaker 4: That I enjoy.
Speaker 3: Uh, you're gonna enjoy that pool in a couple months.
You're going to enjoy that kitchen and a couple month.
I don't enjoy the grunt work. I enjoy the outcome.
I enjoy the payoff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would have been happy with the pool
that just came with the house, Like I don't need
to build a new pool. Uh.
Speaker 3: Now you say that, you say that you don't need
to drive a Tesla either.
Speaker 1: Why didn't you get the mini van? Then? Why didn't you?
Which I would have been.
Speaker 4: Okay, I would have been fine. I didn't have to
drive a Tesla.
Speaker 2: You're the one who loves cars, and you wanted me
to drive a car that's going to be amazing, And
I do and I appreciate it.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 3: But now my blood is boiling because he can't. He
can't handle that. For some reason, gets even more if
I say any of those things.
Speaker 1: He gets extra man now like.
Speaker 3: He he he's got some asperg or something because he
only sees the negative. He never it's I'll take take
Bald Brian or take ball Brian. Bab Brian's been working
for him, for him for years, right, Okay, he'll say
bald Brian. You know he'll complain. He let's have his
complains throughout the year. Bob Brian's always got to argue.
He's got to argue with me. And it's like, yes,
and you don't argue. If you have an argument, fine,
but then you don't just say I disagree for the
for the just to disagree. If you're gonna disagree, back
it up. But you can't just say, in ray, you
gotta do it yes and yes and yes, and so
he gets keep complains, complaints, complaints.
Speaker 1: However, I listened.
Speaker 3: To the show and Bob Brian that week disagreed once.
The rest of the time did the yes and and
and Adam, that one disagreement turned into one argument. And
it's like he he never does the yes and he
he doesn't, And it's like, no, yes.
Speaker 1: He does, he did it all week. How about he doesn't.
He only sees.
Speaker 3: He focuses on why I don't I think I think,
is that what it is like? And then also every
me at Christmas time, this is what I want to do.
Speaker 1: I want to enjoy it with you. This is what
I want to do. Me, me, me and his whole.
Speaker 3: Every time we're at home, that's all he talks about
is me, me, me, his racing, his this is that,
is this and that. And then if I complain, he'll go, well,
what are you doing going to Bruce Springsteen? What do
you got going? Then talk about what you're doing. Then
I'm like, I don't know, making sandwiches, cleaning kids. I
just don't understand.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't be the one to explain
it to him anymore. I can't.
Speaker 3: I just I can't be the one because he's not
gonna hear it. He's not gonna listen to it. He's
not gonna And every time.
Speaker 2: You guys go and I have to a counselor just
I'm not saying, yeah, I have to have a third person, yeah,
because I feel excited that this morning.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was a thought person.
Speaker 2: But lots of couples I mean, I'm not opposed to
going to couples counseling either.
Speaker 4: Lots of couples.
Speaker 2: You guys have been married a long time, people get
very set in their thinking, you know. I notice sometimes
that when I have an argument with John, sometimes it
takes stuff to like stuff will come up or he'll
say something, and all of a sudden, I start tearing up,
and I'm like, oh, he must have hit on something,
like whether it's you know, I started we had an argument.
I mean, I'm not gonna just totally make this about me,
but I'm just now dating that we had a big
thing where it kind of turned out. And I'm not
saying this is the case for you, you have your
own thing. But for me, sometimes I get a little
focused on him because maybe I'm not like right now,
I don't have a lot going on, and it doesn't
feel good right and I don't want to admit that,
you know, but right now, I had a talk show
that was cool, it was amazing, got canceled, you know,
and then like since then, I've like tried to get
different things going. And then, you know, it's hard because
I have three kids, so that keeps me very busy.
So even when I do start to get the energy
to start something, it's like a lot of times get
waylaid by, like you know, then there's then the.
Speaker 4: Kids are off whatever, so we're very busy doing that.
Speaker 2: So you know, it's also weird because then time's taken
away and you're like, how many years do I really
have to like build? Now? I know I've written a
lot of books and all that, and that's great, but
I think I'm at this point. My point is when
John's suddenly working all the time. Probably Adam works all
the time. But then I get very like feel like
I'm lonely, you know, like feel like, well, what's the
what am I doing?
Speaker 4: What's yeah?
Speaker 1: What am I doing at me?
Speaker 4: What about me?
Speaker 2: What about what I'm thinking about or feeling about, our
caring about? And he's so tired and depleted at the end.
Speaker 4: Of the day, and I understand.
Speaker 2: And then his attitude is like, well, I'm working eighty
hours a week, right, like you know, and and John
doesn't go like what are you doing? But when we
were having this argument where I was like, I'm feeling
lonely like a single mom, and like just what's this sucks?
This is life, you know, and he was like, well,
I don't like it either, but I'm working really hard.
And then What it came down to is that he
all of a sudden was like, well, you're not like
feeling not good about yourself, you know.
Speaker 4: So I think he kind of it's not that he
was trying to.
Speaker 2: Turn it around, but he was kind of trying to say, like,
you're trying to get all you're filled up like from
the marriage all of a sudden, you know, where it's
like everything's really fine, That's what you're kind of trying
to tell me.
Speaker 4: You're just feeling like you can't equalize me to help
you feel right.
Speaker 2: And He's like, and right now, I would like to
help you feel better and work on your stuff, but
I'm so busy. I'm like, so we both go into
the mode of just stress mode and we just do
our own thing.
Speaker 4: And when he said that, I was.
Speaker 2: Like, like, you know, I got a little choked up, Like, yeah,
I guess you're right. I'm not saying that solves it,
but sometimes that kind of thing is hard to come
to on your own, right.
Speaker 4: Sometimes you need to like, hey, not.
Speaker 2: That anybody has time for that, but I'm saying when
you really get into a rut of like, you know,
because then John was like, you're ile all the time,
and then he says, when you get scared, you get mean.
Speaker 4: He says that I get mean like that.
Speaker 2: I get like when I'm unhappy about something that I
just go, well, how come you're not okay?
Speaker 4: We're okay.
Speaker 2: So I get very controlling about time, like because I
feel like it's all on me to make sure the
kids get places on time.
Speaker 4: Like it makes me uncomfortable to be late.
Speaker 2: So if let's say Elbie had to get to a
basketball evaluation, I was like, I was a little bit
late bringing her home, but he really wanted to take her. Apparently,
when I walked in the house and he was not ready,
and I had called and said, I'm running a little
bit late.
Speaker 4: Can you be completely ready to go walk out the
door and go take her? He was like yeah, yeah, yeah,
no problem.
Speaker 2: I got home and his shoes weren't on, so you know,
I apparently was like, let's go, like what's going on
your shoes? Like we gotta go, you gotta go. And
he heard that as being very attacking, and you know,
I mean and being He said that I can be
like a little bit of a bully with anger like that,
I go from zero to like that all of a sudden,
I'm mad, and that he's like, what I was ready
to go?
Speaker 4: Like in his mind, he's ready.
Speaker 2: Right in my mind, your fucking shoes are not. You're
not ready to go, Like in my mind, that's five minutes.
You just tacked on because you take your sweet time,
your slow poke, right.
Speaker 3: And if you were Adam, you would say to John,
you would say, and just symbolically, how about you get
ready because I am trying to get our daughter on time.
Speaker 2: So that's what I said, and he told me it
was my problem because I was the one who I
created the problem in the first place.
Speaker 4: I was took too long with the thing I was
doing beforehand.
Speaker 2: So I created a situation that I was tense about
and he wasn't tense about it.
Speaker 4: He was fine.
Speaker 2: And then I said, through our entire time that I've
known you, you've always been fine about being late, and
I haven't.
Speaker 4: So how about sometimes.
Speaker 2: You respect the fact that I like get nervous about
being late, and you like get your shit together right
and like show me that you're like care that you
know I'm not gonna like it if you're late, So
get But do you know it's like becomes that.
Speaker 4: Thing where you're just like, maybe you need a third
party to go, like, you know, okay, so what do
you do. I don't know. I'm saying we hate.
Speaker 2: We should probably see somebody too. Like I'm just saying,
it's not that it means that you don't love each
other and you don't.
Speaker 3: I think people get really ingrained, yes, and they have
the same argument. Some people that have been in a
relationship for a long time. Kids no kids, you get
in that same it's the same.
Speaker 1: Argument over and over.
Speaker 3: I think, you know what I mean, just in general,
and it's nice to have a third party. And we
did that with Olga once. We brought Olga in the room,
right because she can be diplomatic and it helped.
Speaker 1: But Adam it doesn't really like it does.
Speaker 2: Because for him, he's not paying Olga to be his therapist, right,
so it's probably easier for him to discount the parts
he doesn't agree with.
Speaker 3: But he's it's worse with the therapist because he thinks
therapists these days are all on the women's side or what.
Speaker 1: He didn't say that.
Speaker 3: But he's like they all say, well, maybe it's not
her thing, and that's just you. You're not going to
change somebody, and he's gonna say I disagree with that.
I think you can change somebody. You know, when I'm
at Lynnette, she blah blah blah, and now she blah
blah blah, So you can change somebody.
Speaker 2: And the way the way I see it with you
is that it seems like there are times where you
intellectually know that like, Okay, it's not a bad thing
for me to have my own intrests.
Speaker 4: I'm allowed to go to Bruce Springsteen.
Speaker 2: But then I think there's a part of you because
he has a powerful personality that you do want to
please him, and you do want to kind of see
your part, and you're trying to be an equal. So
you're like, well, maybe if he really feels strongly about this,
maybe he has a point, right, So like I don't
want to be a taker and just be like, hey,
I'm just gonna go to Bruce Springsteen every night.
Speaker 4: But the thing is you're not, and you don't.
Speaker 2: It's very hard for you to cut yourself any slack.
And sometimes it's hard to see that from the inside
of it because you're like, well, what am I doing.
I'm not it's not my pos Yes, yes, yes, you know,
you're like, well, he is kind of the breadwinner.
Speaker 4: It is his pirate ship, right right, and I'm just
along for the ride. And that's that's a sucky feeling.
Speaker 2: And I understand that feeling, and you want to have
a thing for yourself, but that's really hard if you're
if your thing for yourself is always helping his thing,
and then you feel guilty because if you're not interested,
then oh, you're not trying.
Speaker 4: To help out, like look at he's built this whole thing,
and like.
Speaker 2: You're getting the reward yours, right, yours, But it wasn't
your dream, you know. And the thing is, it's like
somehow you have to figure out that, like you, we
only live once, you know, and you're allowed to figure
out what you're interested in right too. And but that
even is hard because we're also moms, right and you
have twins and they have very big lives.
Speaker 4: Kids these days.
Speaker 3: That is that's the one thing that I wish somebody
could smack him over the head with and understand that
to him, neither here nor there are the kids.
Speaker 2: The kids to him are they don't run themselves and
they're not a self cleaning oven up that they we
can just buy a thermometer for him, be done with it.
Speaker 4: Right, You'll get that joke in a couple of days,
that's right. Yeah, I agree. It takes a lot.
Speaker 1: That's the thing.
Speaker 3: Like when I want somebody else to explain it to him,
I cannot explain it to him. Maybe doctor Drew, I
don't know, he looks as Drew as you know, Pansy
or whatever.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. There's got to be some a
third party.
Speaker 3: Maybe it's Nate in the other room, his guy, Nate
Adams that he does movies with somebody, just some level,
because I don't you feel.
Speaker 2: Like if somebody tries to say that then he'll he'll
just cut them off, like be like, eh, that's ridiculous,
you're wrong.
Speaker 3: Well, what I've learned through therapy and through Adam and
trial and error is you got you can't do it
now now when we're arguing in a fight. You have
to do it at a calm time, when there's when
there's no are when we say, okay, Adam, you and
I have the same issues all the time. Let's sit
down with Nate and let's talk, you know, and talk
it out and see what he's.
Speaker 1: A level aeted guy.
Speaker 3: You you you know, you appreciate, you value his.
Speaker 2: Opinion, all right, But but Nate works for Adam. He does
see that that causes a problem, right right there, you do.
That's sometimes the therapist. It's not like that they're so
great or so smart. It's just that you're both talking
to somebody unequal. And maybe it's a therapist. It's not
even that it's not even.
Speaker 4: There to tell you who's right or who's wrong. That's
not even a good therapist.
Speaker 2: It's somebody to go like I think, you know, to
help you listen to the other person and hear what
their intent is. You know, I feel like I'm hearing
Adam trying to almost be therapy with you, like this
hurts my feelings because you're I'm feeling like it's not
important to you, and I'm showing you instead of just
getting mad, I'm telling you that I'm hurt. Right, But
at the same time, it's still kind of bossing you
around through like's all, you're hurting my feelings And then
you're like, what am I sposed to do with that? Like?
Speaker 4: How is it hurting your feelings to not be interested
in wanting to.
Speaker 3: Right redo the kitchen and by the way, like it's
not like I'm sitting there filing my finger my nails,
going hey, rob, get out of my way. I'm trying
to sit here and watch Days of our.
Speaker 1: Lives, like I fine, bust my ass.
Speaker 3: Like you think I'm trying to upset you and hurt
your feelings, can't come on.
Speaker 2: But it's also like the thing that you and I
and all women right and a lot of men have
to realize is that we are allowed to sometimes watch
days of our lives if that's what we choose.
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Though, it's like we always feel like, oh, I got
to earn it, Like I got to earn my time
watching Dateline.
Speaker 4: At the end of the day, I.
Speaker 2: Feel really weird if I've had a day where I
did nothing and then I'm just watching TV.
Speaker 4: At the end of the day, I'm like, what am
I doing? I should be doing something.
Speaker 2: I should be I don't know, paying bills And it's
almost like when you already paid the bills and your
to do list is kind of done, then you feel
guilty like, oh, my husband's stuff has never done, like
he's had so much on his plate.
Speaker 4: I should be helping him with his exactly, you know.
Speaker 2: But but we have to have stuff that's ours we
have to be working on right.
Speaker 3: It's and it's hard when I know that the truth
is on my side, when I've gone to two therapists
that both said you're dealing with a difficult person and
you've got to have to learn how to navigate the waters.
Speaker 2: But what would happen if you were like, I don't
I'm not interested.
Speaker 4: I am.
Speaker 2: I did not want to demolish, demolition, demo, demo this
kitchen and come up with vision boards.
Speaker 4: It was it's not what I want to be doing
with my time.
Speaker 2: I would like to be having a talk show at
the YouTube space, or I would like to be whatever.
And that's how I would like to contribute, and I
will make it make money.
Speaker 4: Like what if you just said that.
Speaker 1: He would say, I would like to do that too.
Speaker 3: I would like to just go you think I want
to deal with and he does and blah blah blah.
I go to work, I do my ten podcasts a week.
I do what I want. I do what I got
to do.
Speaker 4: But you didn't want to move out of the lost House.
Speaker 2: I know he did, So what if at that point
you had said, I don't want to move. I don't
want to take on a big project right now. And
I know that, I know how busy you are, and
I know that once we're in there, and that's gonna
be kind of pressure on you, like, oh, I got
this house is not where I want it to be.
I really want to demo this house and make it
the way we want it.
Speaker 4: I'm feeling like this year, I really want to start.
Speaker 2: Doing some more stuff, like figuring out what my path is,
and I'm not ready to move.
Speaker 4: What would have happened if you said that he.
Speaker 3: Would do his Adam thing, he would do his Adam talk.
Yeah you say that, but you're gonna want to listen
where it's too tight. In a sudden, He's gonna want
to basketball. It's a night and we can afford it.
Speaker 1: Why not do it? I know what I'm doing. We
got the guy, the kind of the trust me.
Speaker 3: You're gonna that's what he does. I can't argue with him.
First of all, he's the black belt of arguing.
Speaker 4: And this is a problem. Yeah, I think, Well, what
I have.
Speaker 3: To do is I have to eventually, in an argument,
I have to zip it and just sit there and
go okay.
Speaker 1: All right, m okay, all right, yeah, all right, you're right.
Speaker 3: Otherwise it will go on four days. He'll get even
more upset. Whenever I say I didn't want a tesla,
I didn't want that. That makes him, That makes him ten
times angrier.
Speaker 1: I know that.
Speaker 3: So I I just uh, and then he'll calm down
and he'll go and then we could just relax. After
we have the backyard, it's gonna be done. People are
gonna come over and go, wow, this looks great. I
want to be able to say my wife picked out
that my wife.
Speaker 4: Why does he want to be able to do that?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 1: But because he wants to.
Speaker 3: He works hard and he wants to have the fruits
of his labor. He wants a swimming pool, he wants
a nice kitchen, he wants a whatever.
Speaker 1: Even though we're selling that house in three years.
Speaker 4: Here's the thing too, why are you selling the house in.
Speaker 3: Three years because he's still building the envelope house that
he start the envelope house.
Speaker 1: No, this is the interim.
Speaker 3: He's he's updating the kitchen in the backyard. So when
we do sell it, he'll get more bang for his buck,
that's what he's doing.
Speaker 2: Oh, well, here's the thing. Can you say tell me? I.
I mean it's a little late to go. I didn't
want to move because, you know, because then you're gonna
have that he's of course, and he'll be like, well,
we did move, so you got to help. But I
feel like you should be able to say, like, let's
hire somebody to do it, because I don't want to
he what's he gonna do. He's gonna be like, I'm
gonna divorce you. Well, I want to redo figure out
the pool in the backyard.
Speaker 3: He does, he did, He's not he's even those guys
are demoing it. He has, he did do that route.
Usually he's the one doing everything. This time he's like,
I'm not going to do that. It's not worth the aggravation.
I'm going to hire the guys. But all I want
you to do, he says this, All I want you
to do is do the memory board with the you know,
the pictures, pick off colors you like, picktu do the
fun stuff, do the stuff most women would want to do.
Speaker 4: Why but we're not most women.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 4: I'm not interested in that either.
Speaker 3: I could give a ship, right, but most women are
dragging the guy. And by the way, I said, but
I adam, I I was working, like I put priority,
Like the house is getting demoed. There's dust I had
to clean. I spent three days organizing cleaning. My back
is breaking the dust from here today. But yeah, that
yours right, right, right right, because he said taking he
said he but no, he'll say, you've had I told
you in January. First, it's now April. I've asked you
to blah blah blah this you've had and it's ten
minutes a night.
Speaker 1: Just go through the magazines and blah blah blah. You
know what I mean.
Speaker 3: That's that's what he already said, by the way, this morning.
And then I said what he wants to hear. I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I hurt you. I screwed up. You're right,
drop the ball on the memory board. Then I said,
but I didn't fucking drop the ball on everything else.
Why do you think, how do you think that? Well,
look in our living room. You could eat off our.
Speaker 1: Floor even though I had a dust.
Speaker 4: No, that's the thing we want credit for. We want
credit for the stuff we did do.
Speaker 3: And then he says, I do the stuff too. I
work hard too. Yeah, so you did that that needs
to be done. I do I work, I work hard.
Speaker 4: You can't.
Speaker 1: You can't. It's like, what do you do? I don't
know what to do. I don't know.
Speaker 2: Somebody sent us a comment when we were talking on
our last fight We're wrapping in one minute, producer Brandon
that basically it was a guy, of course, who was like.
Speaker 4: Well, you know, the women of the guy.
Speaker 2: If the guy's working full time, then the woman that's like,
that's how it just kind of works. You split it up,
and you do all the childcare, and they do all
this and nobody and yet you women, you expect the
guys to come home and help with the childcare, but
you're helping us at work, right, And I understand that
argument to a degree, I except for the fact that
most of the time, in these modern times, the women
are trying.
Speaker 4: To work too.
Speaker 2: Like I know very few women who don't give a
shit at all about earning money.
Speaker 4: I don't know any.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know a few the ladies who lunch. Ladies, yes,
there are a few who like do nothing. But even
if you watch the Real Housewives, though, the ladies are
running on the treadmill like you're talking about, like they're
doing a show and they're working and shooting and we're
having a dress line and having a trying to come
up with their businesses. Do you think Kyle really needs
to work if Mauricio is like the top guy at
the agency. No, But because these days we feel like
we need to be contributing.
Speaker 4: So now we're doing all of the childcare. And by
the way, we don't.
Speaker 2: It's not that we want the guy to do the
work of it, but we want the guy. But it's different,
like if they're saying, well, aren't you interested in picking
the pool colors? It's a little bit different than going
aren't you interested and going to the basketball evaluation? Because
it's their children, right right, that's not a pool is
not a child right, So like I think it's a
false Like we already do do the heavy lifting of
the child care.
Speaker 4: We don't make them.
Speaker 2: We don't just go like, hey, call the orthodontist because
we got to get that check up in.
Speaker 1: There right now.
Speaker 4: We don't do that. We do all of that.
Speaker 2: We just invite them to participate in the part, in
the good part, just like just like they're talking about,
but you're just getting to do the good part.
Speaker 4: You're doing to do the fun part the pool.
Speaker 1: But that's a good point.
Speaker 2: But a pool is not a child, so you're not
inviting them to do the fun part. You're saying, parent,
this is you're also the dad. You want you should
want to do this right, And we're doing it all.
And on top of that, we're losing sleep at night
because we're trying to figure out how to how to contribute,
how to make money. So, like I think they they
men out there need to understand most of the time
that with women that we do do usually without a
lot of complaining.
Speaker 4: Almost all of the child care that you contribute.
Speaker 2: Because you're a parent, not because it's a job that
we just don't feel like doing. It's because, like you
want to be bonded with your kids. And then we're
also trying, most of us to like and and if
we're not trying, we're stressing about the fact that we're not.
We want to contribute because we don't want to feel
guilty about going to get our botox, right. We want
to be like, yeah, bitch, right, I made five hundred
bucks this week. If I want to go get bowtok
go do this, I know, and not have to ask permission.
I think it's like, you know what you need to do.
You need to like get your vagina upgraded from uh plasma.
And you guys have probably already heard about this, like
you know, like do some stuff for you. And then
we have to try to like secretly empower ourselves so
that we don't feel like yes people all the time
or like we're even like with John, he doesn't even
want me to be that way, but I feel like
that in my head, like a pleaser. Right, Well, how
can I make sure that I feel like I'm helping enough?
Speaker 4: Right, and then we get.
Speaker 6: Rid of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and maybe with the pool thing, maybe just do
as as little as you can get away with, like
cut out some pictures even if you don't care about
that well and just be like, yeah, I was looking
at these.
Speaker 4: I did, and.
Speaker 2: Then zone out when he starts to analyze it, well,
I did go pick one.
Speaker 1: See, it's it's not about that.
Speaker 3: It's because it's because I went and hid when all
the when all the workers showed up this morning and
I didn't come out, and he went and took Sonny
at the dropped him off and then he went to
the permit office, and then he came back and I
was still in the room with Natalia planning her week
out right right while I'm trying to go on the
thing and read about our guests that's coming in, right.
And then he comes in, going, she's still in the
That's what it was. She's still in her bedroom hiding out.
It's nine thirty. These guys showed up at eight thirty.
And he grabs the board and he brings it in
and he says, I gotta I got you should see
the board is pretty.
Speaker 1: And he says, I gotta tell you. This hurts my feelings.
That's it. That's not what hurts his feelings. The feelings
are hurt.
Speaker 3: Because I'm not going out there going, wow, look at
what my husband's doing. And let me tell that guy
in the bobcat where to go in the backyard. I
don't know whatever it is. I mean, he needs that,
he needs that, he needs a validation because he didn't
get it. That's his thing. That's why I was like,
I want you to come to the office more. I
want you to do this more. I want you to
be involved in my life. I want you to do
man griya. I want you to do me, me, me
all stuff. Right, I'm doing because nobody paid attention to me.
That's the problem. And that's what I.
Speaker 2: Did in your childhood, trying to help you, like coming
in and guesting on your podcast and right, no, I
can't ex But how do you explain that.
Speaker 1: You can't explain that to him?
Speaker 2: You have doctor Drew explain it to him. Well, if
you guys know, ye hit us on Facebook, Yeah, tell
us this was a special show just for you guys.
Speaker 4: It's like therapy for us.
Speaker 1: I know. Oh my god, you get through it. Thank you, guys, Thank.
Speaker 2: You our patriot, our Patreon listeners and subscribers. Brandy, honestly,
we said it on both our shows this week, but
we are so overwhelmed by having as many subscribers and
how many of you guys are listening to this bonus
content and hopefully more.
Speaker 4: Well at the you know, at the lower level.
Speaker 1: Of spread the word.
Speaker 2: Yeah, spread the word and tell them how great this
extra and how personal and fund this extra content is.
Speaker 4: And we'll keep doing it every week.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you like what you hear, say it, say it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you guys.
Speaker 6: Your parents now don't have it up.
Speaker 5: You love her, but she is as he loves nobody else.
You just can't wait, and.
Speaker 7: So I goes until the day Dad.
Speaker 5: This thing name all love.
Speaker 4: It's gonna make me cray.
Speaker 7: Blues.
Speaker 1: The medic face f was shown.
Speaker 5: Love Love, Love, Save.
Speaker 4: That too and sad sad.
Speaker 1: Loss it is.
Speaker 7: You just can't have you call your whole fall.
Speaker 1: The love the flag.
Speaker 7: It's going off. Care can bring you say.
Speaker 5: Love, say.
Speaker 7: Really human down.
Speaker 5: Love do SI does say.
Speaker 7: Ste do say thanks said sense same.
Speaker 1: This is Corolla Digital
Speaker 7: H