Speaker 1: Cool Browken Simulation, Broken Simulation, Sam Prick.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Johnny Woodard Presents Broken Simulations starring Johnny Woodard.
We're in it twelve twenty three. Lluminati confirmed. Luminati confirmed, Johnny.
Do you take the three? The two to two? There
you go. Skull and bones, Johnny, your plan is working.
Speaker 1: Used to say skull and crossbones. That's how you know
you were smalling bones because you used to say that.
It took you forever to not say skull and crossbones.
Speaker 2: Uh so, guys, we're we're firm now, Johnny. We should
do Thursdays at noon. I decided, Okay.
Speaker 1: The problem is when we put out the audio. When
do you put out the audio without Friday morning? I guess, Wait,
isn't that that's when put out Sunday morning? No weekends
are tear for. You don't want put anything Monday morning.
I do Monday. It's just sitting in a while. We'll
talk about it after, but yeah, talk about it.
Speaker 2: We'll talk about it, Johnny.
Speaker 1: How are you?
Speaker 2: I'm I'm great, dude, got finally caught up on everything
for the first time ever. Had a great jiu jitsu
day even though I'm just trying my best. I'm I'm
I'm going to Toronto this weekend. I'm very excited about
being back in Canada. I'm very nervous I might say
something and they'll throw me in in some kind of
program where they suggest, like I should just off myself.
Speaker 1: For non zero chance of that. By the way, you're joking,
but there's a non zero chance of that happening when
you go to Canada.
Speaker 2: What does that mean?
Speaker 3: Like, it's not impossible, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like, it's not totally like if if you if we
heard that you had been jailed for something you said
in Canada. Yeah, like, oh really?
Speaker 2: But if I might do my big clothes around who
loves butt stuff and then he just arrests me, and
then they're like, dude, you could do like three weeks
or you could just off yourself. Which one you want
to do? It's your choice, buddy.
Speaker 1: And they're all hoping you choose offing yourself.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Do you hear about the guy who was getting
it done halfway through, decided you didn't want to, and
the guy just came up and strangled him. What? Yeah,
I mean, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: You gotta be careful on that topic as you mentioned
last week, but it didn't get us in trouble. Last week.
We were fine with it, saying the.
Speaker 2: Word can you dude, Toronto's gorgeous. It's gorgeous. I love it.
I'm so excited.
Speaker 1: Dude, you brought him Neah. By the way, did you
see this clip of him basically where it sounds like
our entire military reports to him. Yeah, it's just crazy
what they let this guy get away with.
Speaker 4: I spoke yesterday with Vice President jd.
Speaker 2: Vance.
Speaker 4: He called me from his plane on the way back
from Washington. He reported to me in detail, as the
people of this administration do every day, on the development
of the negotiations. In this case, the explosion in the negotiations.
The explosion came from the American side, which was not
willing to tolerate the blatant violation of the agreement to
enter negotiations by Iran. Essentially, what are we doing?
Speaker 2: Are doing?
Speaker 4: We opened the crossings? They didn't do that. The Americans
were not willing to accept it.
Speaker 2: The Americans.
Speaker 1: The Americans were willing to say that isn't he and
I wonder why Iron didn't meet the terms of the agreement.
Could it be because they just immediately started bombing the
shit out of Lebanon and Iran, like right after that.
Speaker 2: It's it's it's the weirdest thing I've ever seen. They're
just moving forward with it, and everyone's against it. Everyone.
There's nobody who wants this war except for boomers and
retarded Zionists.
Speaker 1: Not even the like mild retards, like you have to
be severely demented on like the most profound retard dation.
Speaker 2: And you must also have a no fear of being
called in to fight this war. Everyone who has no
chance of going to fight this war is totally pro war.
Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, No, you're you're completely.
Speaker 2: Now, Johnny. We still have this discussion on whether he's
alive or not. I'm just gonna say one thing. We've
never seen him with his wife lately. He was always
with his wife. We've never seen him with Yeah. I
mean that girl, I mean, like looks like a gremlin
that just went swimming. You know.
Speaker 1: She looks like the the leprechaun from the Leprechaun movies,
Like the she.
Speaker 2: Leprechaun, just not attractive. She's like everyone hates us. I'm like, yeah,
because you're married to a war criminal. Everyone's calling him
you versally the new Hitler.
Speaker 1: Have you seen that? I think we played it on here.
Speaker 2: New Hitler same as old Hitler.
Speaker 1: New Hitler, same as old Hilary. Have you have you
heard that crazy recording of her on the phone just yelling.
I think we played it on here. It's so funny, dude,
listening to what in the same person she is? Check
this out?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, dude, you know she's probably crazier than
he is.
Speaker 5: That's why she stayed with him.
Speaker 2: Such a hard life.
Speaker 1: Lively techno soundtrack to this clip of her screaming.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, dude, I mean, imagine everything you do
is like, oh, it's because they hate me. It's like
there's whenever you hear comedians say that, they're like, oh,
they just hate my success. That's a sign of a
psychopath crazy person.
Speaker 3: Also screaming about your credentials, She's like, I gotta be
a an am. You can hear like smacking her hand
on the phone.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I mean, we're just in a wild time, dude,
it's a wild time. I don't know how it ends.
Speaker 1: Well, I just that this brilliant idea. He's like, Okay,
they're gonna blockade the straight, close the straight, so we're
gonna blockade. They're blockade. That's his big idea. Now that's
what he's doing. So they have the straight clothes and
then outside like of the straight, we're gonna close that down.
Speaker 2: So it's like they can't blockade anybody because they've already
blockaded somebody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like we built a blockade out side of it.
I mean, what's the what's the what's it? I mean
it's kind of brilliant. Really Yeah.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean Iran has to go. Thanks. I mean,
now we don't have to do any dirty work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I mean now.
Speaker 2: You're going to get all the ship for the blockade.
Speaker 1: Yeah, true, Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they said. I think
the statement was that we will look back on the
days of four dollars gasoline, uh, with nostalgia pretty soon.
And I'm like, uh, it's la dude, We're already We're
already looking back on the days of Dude.
Speaker 2: I'm so old. I remember ninety nine cent gas That's
how old I am. And none of it has to happen.
It's just it's just like it's just people fighting over
dumb shit. It's all sorcery. You freaking idiots. Not the
people listening here, they get it, but all these other idiots,
it's all sorcery. It's all sorcery.
Speaker 1: The people here are tragically hip.
Speaker 2: They are so hip. The comments section is so freaking hip.
Speaker 1: No Canadian reference. There's a classic.
Speaker 2: Dude, this person that's not that's so funny. It just
looks like it's cheaper because it's three ninety nine. You're like,
you're paying four bucks for gas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, who do you think you're fooling?
Speaker 6: What?
Speaker 2: Who do you think you're fooling? I mean, just crazy
ass times.
Speaker 1: Dude, what do you if you had to wager on
how this ends? What would you say? Would you say
that it gets much worse, that it kind of peters out,
or or that it's just an on like something we're
dealing with for the next year. It's kind of in
the next year.
Speaker 2: It's gonna go for a year and it's just gonna
be everyone just sitting there while Israel just keeps bombing Lebanon.
I mean on the ground.
Speaker 3: Though you think we American boots on the ground.
Speaker 2: Oh, they're gonna send them, They're gonna send.
Speaker 3: Them with that though nobody wants.
Speaker 2: Nobody wants that nobody wants that. Nobody wants it, Johnny,
and it's like it's gonna get crazier. The one thing
a draft does, and I'm not saying I want draft,
is makes people pay attention because their kids are up
for it. You get people out of the really comfortable bubble. Then,
like you go to the store, nobody like, it's just
a fucking bubble factory. The whole fucking town of la
is a bubble factory. I'm like, you don't have to
deal with world consequences. Start grabbing these kids.
Speaker 5: Bang.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. It's the people who are least affected
by that stuff that seem to care most about social issues,
do you know what I mean? Like stuff that'll never
like trans issues and stuff. They're like, it's the it's
the mother who hasn't worked the day in her life
because her husband, you know, earns all the paychecks and
she's just obsessed with that issue.
Speaker 2: Uh but yeah, I was. I tweeted this yesterday. Have
you noticed there's no abortion discussions on a national scale
right now? You're right, you know, nobody's talking about no.
But it's like you get a tweet here and there,
but you know nobody's No, it's not. It's not like
people in the streets like every election election cycle. It's
because there's no election up. Like these idiots don't understand
how they're so manipulated. Yeah, can you get out of
the draft if you're gay? If you're like, dude, I
love man meat.
Speaker 3: I don't think anymore, Dude, I think, I hear.
Speaker 2: If you get a swastika tattoo, you can get out.
Speaker 5: Boy.
Speaker 1: People just be lining up.
Speaker 2: Dude, if I was a tattoo artist, would be like,
if you don't want to go to war and get
a swati, grab a swati.
Speaker 1: The problem is you have to put on your forehead.
That's the only way to get out. It has to
be visible with your uniform on. Uh, put it.
Speaker 2: Right on your neck, bro, and then just set sign
up for tattoo removal.
Speaker 3: No, you just turn it into a black cube once
you're done, Once you got it.
Speaker 2: You just turned that big black skin that white people
love to do.
Speaker 1: Oh, like, what's your name's what's uh catvon de cav Untie. Yeah,
she's just all black now, like properly all black.
Speaker 2: We're black now, Johnny were black?
Speaker 1: Now, how does that be black? Now technically black, Like
what can she can she put that on her.
Speaker 2: Oh, she could talk about slavery and lynching and how
she's tired of being oppressed now.
Speaker 1: As a person of color. I think it like she
gets to do that now, everythink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she can go to uh court and commit
murder and get off because she's black. Now it's a
really great time.
Speaker 7: Is that?
Speaker 1: It's funny? It used to be the opposite, used to
be that that was the worst thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know. Twenty year olds are are gifted
gifts that happened in the forties and fifties.
Speaker 1: You're right, Well, what do you think of this idea
that Rogan said that Trump at this point doesn't have
much to lose because he's gonna die soon. So that's
how he's kind of Trump is.
Speaker 2: A That's another thing. You get to a certain age.
It's like, why are you voting? Listen, we should get
if you get to a certain age, you shouldn't have
to pay taxes. And if you don't have to pay taxes,
you shouldn't be voting. You don't wanna, you don't want to.
You don't want the too young to vote. You don't
want the too old to vote.
Speaker 1: I don't want anybody to vote.
Speaker 2: I just I would love that if we just got
rid of everybody voting, like you had to earn the
right to vote. Wouldn't that be great? Like a driver's test,
you have to show that you're actually somehow educated in
what's going on. That should be a Johnny voting deserves
a voting license.
Speaker 3: There's two paths, brain and brawn.
Speaker 1: You can you can pass a test like a Civics test,
or you can win a boxing tournament. That's those are
the people that get to vote. That only the strong
survive in the modern American system that we've just reinvented.
I agree, dude, Just just agree, because you would just
get the most badass people making making decisions. That's what dude.
I wouldn't with my nephew. He wants to watch this
mister beast games, this reality show, and it is the
most twisted stuff, dude. This mister beast, just with a
big smile on his face, is just destroying people's lives.
Like he comes along in the middle of games and
is like, you know what, if you'll betray all of
your friends, I'll give you fifty thousand dollars right now.
Speaker 2: He's just the.
Speaker 1: Most sick and twisted thing. And he's got unlimited money,
like there's never been a game show he's got. The
prize pool is five million dollars, just like the main prize,
but then he also just throws in millions of dollars
randomly and it's so funny. Dude, This this twisted the
Beast games they call it, and long time weeping. But anyway,
my point was, it's brains versus brawn on there, it's
smart people versus jack people, and it's pretty even. Actually
you'd be surprised.
Speaker 2: So a long time ago, I got hired to do
some gig in like Beverly Hills, and I show up
at well the basically the guy who's running the show
is it's like the owner of like Europe Coca Cola,
like an insanely rich human being. And this guy, I've
worked with crazy people, I've worked with scumbags. This is
the biggest scumbag I've ever worked with. It's not even
fucking close.
Speaker 1: What were you doing with the guy who I was.
Speaker 2: Just sitting in and they were running a show. It
was like a live streaming before streaming became big, and
he would pay people to do awful shit to themselves,
Like what like if you drill your leg, you'll get
like five hundred bucks if you hit yourself with a drill?
Speaker 1: Is that even legal?
Speaker 2: I don't even know if that was actually One of
the things about was along the lines of that, it's horrific.
And then people would yell at me that we're watching
because they want to be the co host that day
to like that guy shams an asshole, he doesn't appreciate
you should be me in that seat. And it was like,
so the guy, the guy got sued for sexual harassment
and lost like a billion dollar lawsuit, like like it
was an insane number, or it could have been half
a billion. It was an insane number.
Speaker 1: That's unbelievable. What when I knew this.
Speaker 2: Was gonna happen because he's the biggest piece of shit.
So like then they hire me again. I'm like, I'm
just gonna go in there and just.
Speaker 5: Talk shit to this guy.
Speaker 8: How did that go?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: I just lit him up?
Speaker 1: I mean how did he feel about that?
Speaker 2: Though? Hey he was I don't know. I think he
actually liked it that someone's pushing back on him.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you see that sometimes, right, with super famous powerful
mad ship. Yeah. Oh uh, let's see what else is
going on? Uh, we got we got a Frankie Valley update.
There's still another season of touring for Frankie Valley. They're
shoving his corpse out on stage in But.
Speaker 2: The question is, like even the demons that like make it,
they're all dead too. We're all dead. Now.
Speaker 1: Look at it's your it's your favorite thing to notice
on this. Just look at the background singers, how hard
they're working. I don't know why won't let me pause that,
but let me let meet it.
Speaker 2: I look at that guy, dude, he's just like I'm
living my best life, dude.
Speaker 1: And Freakie Balley can barely talk like.
Speaker 2: I mean, dude.
Speaker 1: I pulled this clip of him where he is trying
to uh form sentences like at an interview, and they
expect you to believe he's singing that, but he can't.
He his his speech is worse than mine and even
worse than Joe Biden's Believe it or not here, I'll
play that. By the way, if this is his girl,
she is smoking hot. I assume it's his girlfriend. Frankie
Valley is still you.
Speaker 2: Always have a shot with snatch.
Speaker 9: Uh ambassador, and so many things that have happened, the
fact that we own our own.
Speaker 2: Masters, we owned our own publishery.
Speaker 9: Those are all the things that attributed to it.
Speaker 1: And I dude, the guy barely has the air in
his lungs.
Speaker 2: Definitely, if he owns everything, why is he touring like this?
Probably will for that hot wife.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think we know that. I'm joking, he
saw his soul, but there's something on that level right that's, you.
Speaker 3: Know, pushing this guy on the funny.
Speaker 2: He lives in his house, all his gardeners and pool
boys are just jacked black guys.
Speaker 5: Just jacked black guys.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go to sleep right now. Don't do anything too.
And then she just gets dog farted by the staff.
Speaker 1: And he she keeps getting pregnant.
Speaker 2: Can you look up what age his wife is?
Speaker 1: Okay? I wonder if that is his way and what is.
Speaker 2: His kids think. You're like, oh, this chick is not
taking our money.
Speaker 1: Let's see, yeah, I don't Okay. He was married to
someone called Jackie Jacobs. No, they are still together right now.
Let's see, that didn't look like her though, maybe.
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe it was her handler, his handler just holds
her up and press his buttons to respond. I am
Italian America.
Speaker 1: You get married to a sixty and I don't that
chick's not sixty. No, the woman that was with him
in that thing is that sixty. So I don't. Maybe
he had like a what would you say in escort
or something that night. Uh, not not that kind of escort,
but like a you know, someone from I think that
was like a Grammy fundraiser for the fires. Uh, we
don't know.
Speaker 2: Ours are our masters.
Speaker 1: We will we keep you, uh you know, updated on
the important issues, and we will continue following.
Speaker 2: Hey, this is the most important show about nothing. Do
you guys understand.
Speaker 1: Frankie Valley's uh weekend at Bernie's. Extended Weekend at Bernie's
will continue. Ah.
Speaker 2: I love that he's like can barely talk about when
he's on stage, he's singing like he's twenty again perfectly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we are right. Watch this. This was an Easter
show in Asia. Look at this, so they got Jesus
if you're listening ascending, he has risen over the stage.
He's on some kind of wires and he just keeps
going up and up.
Speaker 2: Holy ship, dude, I'm can this guy go up? Who's
pulling him up? Just up?
Speaker 1: Because he lives is the song by the way, if
you grew up with him, you know that. Because he
lives in some gobbedy book play.
Speaker 2: Where the fuck is he going?
Speaker 8: It is?
Speaker 2: He's gotta be freaking's feeding it up? Now there he's
still floating. Look, bro, is he freaking out?
Speaker 1: He's on a Look, he's on a crane, one of
those giants. Oh my, go on, they don't mess around.
It must be like oh yeahs no soul. Yeah, he
just goes.
Speaker 5: Up and up.
Speaker 2: And who's my favorite?
Speaker 1: I've watched that like a lot of times.
Speaker 2: It's like he looks like Steve.
Speaker 1: Yeah he does it though, Yeah, yeah, totally. He's kind
of shiny.
Speaker 2: I believe in Jesus. I believe in Korean Jesus.
Speaker 1: He's got these great gestures and the like holding his hand.
Speaker 2: How much do you think he freaks out? It's like
he's really.
Speaker 1: Must have freaking out. It's looks like a Kanye West
concert the production of this thing. Look at that.
Speaker 2: Do you think do you do a sobriety test on
the crane? Got before you go?
Speaker 1: You know what if you just plastered Oh, that's the best.
It's like a koolight man just leaves out a shape
outline of Jesus in the side of that hotel right there.
Speaker 2: Why does he say, turn it down, Johnny, shut up?
We love you? Probably maybe oh I've seven we love you.
But come on, man, we're rocking the Korean Jesus here, Dude.
Speaker 1: We're trying to enjoy the hymn. Because he lives.
Speaker 2: I can face again spiritual here, we're spiritual now.
Speaker 3: Because he lives. All fear is gone, All fear is gone.
Speaker 2: Korean Jesus the future, he'll karate chop your sins.
Speaker 1: Ai is getting way better. Dude. You sent me something
and then I saw this this video that they made
like a like again, it's not perfect, but it's a
trailer for a comedy that doesn't exist. The writing is
really where it falls down.
Speaker 2: But oh, how about that video I sent you about
the fake cop drama.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna play that next year. But this is a
genre now of things, is these fake trailers and this one.
Speaker 3: I mean, there are a few moments where it gets wonky,
but we're so close to.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, oh yeah, Hey, guys, is it cool if
I send this to TMZ. This a new business is born.
Speaker 7: Can they not see Me?
Speaker 2: From director Taylor.
Speaker 1: Chin comes a movie like never before.
Speaker 7: There are millions of neighborhoods in America.
Speaker 2: You know what every one of them has tell me, bullies.
Speaker 10: He destroyed my entire gardens.
Speaker 4: He's such an asshole.
Speaker 11: Three am in the morning, your asshole, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 7: I posted the video and we received over four hundred
and twenty nine thousand people requesting our bully protection services.
Speaker 2: What do you think when do we start?
Speaker 1: O best? Not great?
Speaker 8: Like that?
Speaker 1: Fak acting?
Speaker 2: Why is your shirt off? Marketing?
Speaker 7: One O one free attention, zero AD spend And besides,
the women love it?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 8: What about him?
Speaker 1: Ah?
Speaker 2: Fuck?
Speaker 1: It still counts?
Speaker 2: Are you damn man?
Speaker 12: Yes?
Speaker 2: And who the fuck are you? Hollies coming old sheepes
and sizes?
Speaker 1: What are you?
Speaker 6: What the evil? I tell you?
Speaker 13: I'm not sure how you plan to get rid of him?
Speaker 4: Be careful. He's really dangerous.
Speaker 2: Hey, boys, can I help you?
Speaker 7: Has anyone ever told you that you look exactly like Channing?
Fucking tape them?
Speaker 2: Who's that?
Speaker 7: You don't know?
Speaker 14: Who?
Speaker 1: You look exactly like?
Speaker 2: Bro? It's like we're really looking at Channing fucking Tatum. Tatum, bitch,
that's fire, dude.
Speaker 1: I mean it's so close. It's so close. I mean
the acting is a little off, but they can tweak that.
I'm sure, or you could. I don't. It's we're really
almost there. I'll play some of that that cop thing
you sent me. It's actors really are doomed, you know, like.
Speaker 2: The finger blast themselves.
Speaker 1: Why would you hire I don't know, Ryan Gosling when
you can just have Paul Newman in your movie, you
know what I'm saying, Like, because Paul Newman's.
Speaker 2: Paul Newman doesn't have any say any way with the kids.
Speaker 1: No, Well, but he's a better actor, is what I'm saying.
You can just make him a star again with the
permission of his kids, who are probably delinquents and all
need money, so they sign over his estate to the
production company, and then you got Paul Newman acting in
everything again all of a sudden.
Speaker 2: I mean, what, Johnny, you want Paul Newman so badly? Dude,
you're john I'm gonna say this right now. Johnny's horny
for Paul Newman.
Speaker 1: That's a good cool hand, Luke. You know, I just can't.
Speaker 2: Johnny's so hard for that guy. Johnny's so hard for
dead dudes. Johnny is so hard for dead dudes.
Speaker 1: Cool Dick Luke, That's that's what I.
Speaker 2: Johnny would love to see it, a cool Dick Luke
playing flutes.
Speaker 13: You need to all calm down when you explain how
you could post this, because the only takeaway I get
is your straight up racist.
Speaker 6: How's going on? Officer Toronto?
Speaker 2: Somehow has the inter head in my head?
Speaker 1: You posted it, every minority in n y C suddenly disappeared,
the climate would drop to zero.
Speaker 4: He didn't use.
Speaker 1: Her name is Jamie Reagan NYPD, Isn't it?
Speaker 8: It's fake? I don't post on squawk talk or any
other social media.
Speaker 1: And you're kissing his ass.
Speaker 7: Opposed to the Giants are the best team in the NFL.
Speaker 6: Come on, Sarge, is not a racist.
Speaker 15: Jamie handed the phone back to Serrana and told her
to get back to work. Neither Jamie nor Eddie and this.
She decided to trace the IP address of that account,
but internal affairs suddenly showed up looking for Jamie.
Speaker 1: To my Grandma's screwed. She's never going to figure this out.
Speaker 2: Else she doesn't care about.
Speaker 1: That's what she told me the other day.
Speaker 6: Yeah, here's good. What's this about her?
Speaker 15: The investigator suspected Eddie of taking bribes. Jamie immediately denied it.
He figured someone had reported Eddie online. Jamie demanded the
informants information from the investigator, but the investigator refused. Jamie
brought Eddie to find borhe'st borheas used to be a
prison from the department for avoiding inmates. Jamie and Eddie
had handled his case.
Speaker 1: Probably people that don't exist.
Speaker 8: It turns out you're helping him come after us.
Speaker 6: You're going to be in a whole world to hurt, to.
Speaker 1: Keep the ache.
Speaker 2: There's no the end turns out the sister that's said
her brother. It's a plot. Okay, Yeah, that's the twist
at the end, right, because that's every law and order.
It's like, right, I mean, Johnny, I don't know why
you hate AI. I love it. I don't care.
Speaker 1: I don't hate it. I just hate when it's with.
Speaker 2: Ashley, Schaeffer is full Chubb and Ashley could be a
guy or a girl. I can't tell. That's that's Will
Ferrell's character from So it could be a guy or
a girl.
Speaker 3: He's bounding down. Remember Ashley with the.
Speaker 2: Long Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. The first season. That is
the greatest season of a sitcom of all time.
Speaker 3: It's brilliant. It is so I remember.
Speaker 2: Watching it going, Wow, someone's actually doing comedy that I
think is funny. We haven't seen that forever.
Speaker 1: It disappeared too, it's not on right.
Speaker 2: Well, then they got rid of all the great character
actors who went to Mexico, and you're like, now it's
a different show.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, did you have you watched The Boys the
first two episodes?
Speaker 2: No, I haven't, Johnny, I got catch up.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good. It's back. You know, it's still like
political in the wrong way a little, but it's it's
very funny. To me. I find myself too often identifying
with all the the worst people in that show, like Homeland.
Speaker 5: You know.
Speaker 1: It's like, what I.
Speaker 2: Actually find funny is how they just basically ripped off
all these Marvel and DC comic guys and they now
there's these ais where they meet like, hey, the comparison,
You're like, oh, they just like it's a whoopie, you know,
Spider Man, it's like creepy crawler dude.
Speaker 1: Karen Bass is getting wrecked because coming in to the
uh the promo for the Olympics, like before they got it,
and then after they got it, she was talking about
how affordable Olympics tickets were gonna be. She was talking about,
for twenty eight we're gonna have twenty eight dollars tickets
for locals. A lot of people are gonna be able
to get them. So I signed up because I wanted
to go see boxing.
Speaker 2: Johnny loves you. Johnny was so excited.
Speaker 1: I wanted to go see basketball, and uh, you know
a couple like like Judo, I thought would be really
cool to see. So I get on there, they get
they sign you a time, and you get on there, dude.
And when I tell you, these tickets were the most
expensive tickets to boring events I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker 2: Dude.
Speaker 1: The closing ceremony, the cheapest ticket, a standard ticket was
five thousand dollars. Four thousand.
Speaker 2: Damn, Johnny, damn, you got paid five grand to watch
some satanic shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly what I talked about this before. But the
thing now that she is getting because people are pulling
up all these quotes back when FIFA was getting shipped
for having expensive tickets to the World Cup. She was like,
Oh no, that's not going to be what it's like
in La. We're gonna at for the Olympics. So all
week I've just been finding these resurrected quotes of her
talking about how cheap the tickets were going to be.
And apparently is she by the way, Karen Bass Karen Basketball.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Johnny, I can't believe you're still shocked.
The lying liar is lying. The biggest scumbag in La
is lying.
Speaker 1: So she, Uh there's some talk that they might have
to find a way to reprice tickets for the next
round because because locals are so pissed off and it's
a you know, an election coming up for her. Uh
so we might actually get some cheaper tickets out of
the fact that Spencer Pratt scaring the ship up of
Karen Bass fingers crossed on then I don't I mean just.
Speaker 2: Go watch Woman's beach volleyballo.
Speaker 1: It was like six hundred dollars to go pound, Yeah,
to pound, Well, that was an extra two hundred and
fifty dollars. Do you have to go in the putt
room for that? It's a plastical And she just.
Speaker 2: Have an area where where you can putt pound your putt.
This chick says, la sports suck. Anyways, apparently you don't
haven't heard the Dodgers.
Speaker 1: Amazing entertainment value. She means, it's like heartbreaking to watch
the team of uh you know, all all the highest
paid athletes in baseball all.
Speaker 2: In one Great to see them in one place, isn't it, Johnny? Yeah,
yah ya, yea, yeah.
Speaker 1: You used to take such pride that the Dodgers were homegrown.
Used to be like, yeah, but we all our guys
are homegrown.
Speaker 2: Man, we were for a very long time. You didn't
win anything, and then we're like, why not just buy Anyboddy?
Speaker 1: Yeah. But and then you were like, if they keep
doing this, I'm not gonna be a fan anymore. I'm
gonna I'm gonna switch to Vegas. And you they kept
doing it, they did it worse, and you're still still
just a Dodger fan through and through with your upside
down l a hat.
Speaker 2: I'm getting my Dodger tattoo. I told you about what's
they say it's gonna be uh Andy Payez catching that
ball over Kiki Kiki Hernandez speak. I'm getting in new
school look up new school tattoos. You'll see the style
I'm getting.
Speaker 1: H and then I'm gonna play the fittest flir firs.
Speaker 2: Uh my. My my favorite thing right now is how
like if you like sports, you're a part of the
sy op Like, what more do I have to do?
Speaker 3: It's always been that way among the conspiracy people.
Speaker 2: Dude, like, I need a moment to breathe. I have
to turn my head off. I'm losing my scar. So
I'm doing in this style Johnny where it's like over
exaggerations like big heads.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know, exactly, super colorful.
Speaker 2: That's what I'm doing. Wait style. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Interesting.
Speaker 1: I'd like to see the art of that.
Speaker 2: I can't wait to see it too. We'll see if
she can pull it off.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a lady, Okay.
Speaker 2: Yeah, They're like, we're gonna give you this. I'm like,
can I see the other Artiser like, no, we're giving
you this person. I'm like, don't have a say. But
then I'm like, I'll be, I'll be, I'll be. I
don't know, dude, I might pull out. I don't know,
but I'm very excited. I'm getting on my calf. Here's
what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I might not do it, but I'm very excited.
Speaker 2: I just want to see what she comes up with. First,
I'm not gonna put stupid inca.
Speaker 1: This guy is uh after you again, and I'm i
am frankly flattered for you.
Speaker 2: I mean, look who daddy's banging with. I am. So
this is like there's a drop in tax brackets and views,
real heart, which one of these are not like the other?
Which one of these just simply doesn't belong.
Speaker 1: A Trump tweet or something, you know, if it's like
a j we got Candice owns Joe Rogan and then say,
now this.
Speaker 2: Is go on play it.
Speaker 8: So se Joe Rogan experience thinking you're getting truth right,
or Sam triple A and his tinfoil hat podcast, or
maybe even Candace Owens or re a fan of Alex
Shoes and in full Wars and you thought he was
telling you the truth. Well, I'm sorry to be the
one that breaks it to you, my friends, but they're
all gatekeepers, and they're much more than gatekeepers, if I'm
being honest. First, I thought they were just all a
bunch of kind of like Candace says here.
Speaker 1: I'm one of the Masons of Turning Point USA.
Speaker 8: Exqueeze me baking powder? Can we hear that one more time?
Speaker 1: I'm one of the Masons of Turning Point USA.
Speaker 8: Joe Rogan with a nice all CENI and his logo.
Why don't we hear what he has to say?
Speaker 2: I'll tell the government right now.
Speaker 6: I tell you right now.
Speaker 8: If you listen, n S I c I I'm available. Okay,
if you.
Speaker 2: Show me all the real wreckage, I swear to God
I will make fun of that crap to the end
of time. I'll make up stories. I'll lie to my mother.
Speaker 8: Did you hear me when I said I used to
think they were just secret society members freemason I know better.
Speaker 6: Than that now.
Speaker 8: Watching that exposing than they claim to be. Oh yeah,
Oh Joe looks suspiciously like man.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my favorite thing.
Speaker 8: The exact same nose in the exact same facial symmetry,
and the exactly nothing there you retard just Joe or Candice? No,
it's Sam TRIPLEI or should I say Triple A.
Speaker 2: This is my favorite part. This is my favorite part.
Speaker 8: You know this guy Sam triple and upside down? Did
cup upside down? Los Angeles? What could that symbolize maybe
the city of Angels, the angels, lost angels and upside
down would make it seem like it's falling, yeah, falling
angela free masonry. Francis Bacon Speacon, one of the founding
fathers of masonry. And well he looks suspiciously like Sam
if you just showing how they have the exact just
like a draws and the exact same facial beard, the
exact same face.
Speaker 2: Not exactly at all the same. My nose goes high.
Speaker 8: Sir Francis Bacon, considered by esoteric historians to be the
concealed designer of freemasonry. And and what was his name again,
Francis Bacon. Oh, this is the best high quality type
of bacon. Is the body bacon you name? It's not
I started on mister Bill Hicks. I mean Alex Jones
of Info Wars here if you don't know that Alex.
Speaker 2: Jones Bacon, Johnny, you know that about.
Speaker 8: When my friends, you have a lot of catching up
to do. And that's why I'm here, That's why I'm
starting my very own my name ship, no gatekeeping and
no agenda other than helping people see through the livesh
Timothy McVay finding your fearlessness and your wife carrying old
spiritual being, and there's a heavenly father here who created
this all for you, and there's a bunch of fallen angels.
I don't around trying to hide that from you. I
don't want so I invite you to come join me
on this podcast, and I'm.
Speaker 2: I'm going to ship in your ear.
Speaker 8: I'm so excited to just start spilling left and right
left out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's not carrying. The guy with the CIA is
going to drop.
Speaker 8: The truth and wants to help expose.
Speaker 2: Yeah, as he just fucking clout chases on people's name
your fearlessness. So check out.
Speaker 8: You find your platforms in my retardedness.
Speaker 2: Hitting your ears. That's all that guy wants to do
is hit in your ears.
Speaker 1: That guy is so I love that he thinks that
you're one of the smartest people in history.
Speaker 2: I know you want to do great. That is imagine
starting the Freemasons, writing Shakespeare and creating arithmetic, and then
just being a Dick Joe comic who's functionally illiterate, has
man tits and flunk first grade.
Speaker 1: There's some people out there that just can't come to
grips with the idea that some people look the same,
like there's only so.
Speaker 2: Many features, to the point where if you don't at
these normal features, you look like a fucking mutant.
Speaker 1: Yes, no, you're absolutely right, And there's just a and
think about not only are you counting the people who
are alive right now, but if you go through all
of recorded history, recorded history, all of history, while there's
been drawings of faces, that's.
Speaker 2: My favorite thing. The guy from now looks like a
guy from the seventeen hundreds. How many people have lived
and died since then?
Speaker 3: Yes, and what two of them happened to look kind
of the same.
Speaker 1: What are you saying? Is he a vampire?
Speaker 2: What's going on? It's so ridiculous, dude, It's just so ridiculous.
And my favorite part is where he calls this is guys.
This is how you know this guy is just got
dogship shit for brains, like literal dogshit for brains, to
the point that like he basically is there to make
sure that you fucking are just saturated and stupid. I'm
being dead serious, Like that's his job to saturate you
and stupid. All right, just be the dumbest of dumb. Okay,
so he says, he says that fucking Candice is a Freemason.
Guess what coming from the guy that invented freemasonry over here? Okay,
this guy right here, guess what women can't be Freemasons?
Speaker 5: You dumb ass.
Speaker 1: That's good point, you dumb ass. No, you got him there,
You rust indeed dumbers.
Speaker 2: Okay, this guy started freemasonry. You're dumber. Should I just
go around acting like I'm Francis Ford Bacon Bacon?
Speaker 1: You can't even get your own name, right, dude, Francis
Bacon Ford.
Speaker 2: Whatever I want you to do.
Speaker 1: I want you, when you're in public, to start wearing
that thing again that you're wearing.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, dude with the weird hat.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but especially this roughly fluffy Should I.
Speaker 2: Just go around trying to get puss and work being
Francis Bacon.
Speaker 1: An event, says Francis Bacon. Yeah, Francis.
Speaker 2: Should I go to Comic Con and be like Sir
fran Spacon. Should you show up to the Freemasons and
be like, yo, I start this ship? Okay, I'm gonna
do whatever I want here.
Speaker 1: Okay, you know what you should do is just go
do like remember when Joaquin Phoenix did that where he
just acted like he was insane for a while.
Speaker 3: You should just go on and be like, all right,
I'm coming clean.
Speaker 1: I am Francis Bacon. Okay, Uh ask me anything, do
redditt AMA's that would be great. Uh. You could appear
on like, uh, you know, good Morning san diego go
down there, promote some you know, a tour as Francis Bacon,
go on college campuses. I would love for you to
do that. That would make me very happy.
Speaker 2: Should I just start doing that thing where I just
go out with fucking progressives? Why don't you call him
a dressed like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's like Francis Bacon.
Speaker 1: It's a little dangerous. Hadn't heard. Uh, but you know.
Speaker 2: Sammy Hams, I like that name. I should call myself
just Sammy Hams.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's a modern dude.
Speaker 2: I've asked him to come on my show. He's a pussy,
he blocked me on Instagram.
Speaker 1: That sounds like something Mitzi Shore would have recommended you
change your name to Sammy Hams.
Speaker 2: Ah, Sammy, you're so funny, but you need to change
your name to Sammy Hams next time I'm on the
lineup Sammy Hams and then just take off. I just
blow up because everyone wants to come see Sammy Hams.
Speaker 1: You gotta you got to call him, get his number
and don't tell him you're recording, record him, and then
like come clean and apologize. Be like listen, dude, I
was upset that you outed me.
Speaker 2: But at some point we got face the truth? Did
we got face that truth?
Speaker 1: But you got do you think in his mind because
obviously he's never been confirmed like in any of these
things that he throws out, do you think that would
just be like the best day of his life. No,
I'm not giving a legal advice. It depends on if
it's a one party consent state. It depends on some
depends on where Sam is and where this guy is.
Speaker 2: I just drive the Vegas just to call him and
then drive back.
Speaker 1: You gotta find out where the guy is, Fliff, and
then you can record him. Potentially you can lure him
across the state line.
Speaker 2: Donny, should we start a bum fardo coin?
Speaker 3: Is it bumfarto or bumfardo?
Speaker 16: Did we do it barto bumb bart Oh? No, dude,
it's bum art to farto. I just love that it's
the best, is it? Is it the funniest name, like
other than how all time of all time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And the fact that it's not even his name
and he just went with it is. Let you know
what kind of great guy Bumfardo is.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the kind of guy you want to be
around as a guy who will let people call.
Speaker 2: Him Hell yeah, dude. He would have been great if
he's your grandpa, because you know he's like mobbed up.
He's just handing you hundreds, got a lot of black
kicks around.
Speaker 3: You're Bumfardo's boy, aren't you?
Speaker 2: Little? Hello? You little Bumfardo?
Speaker 8: The third?
Speaker 14: Right?
Speaker 2: How are you? I love your dad. He's a great guy.
Here's one hundred dollars. You know.
Speaker 7: I love you.
Speaker 2: Get yourself a hooker.
Speaker 3: I love the folks over at Fast Growing Trees.
Speaker 1: That's who I love. Uh, they are a dude.
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guys got what was it like nine hoo dranges that
you know?
Speaker 2: We got those dranges? Y, we love the dranges we
live for. I'm gonna get drange right here on my chest.
Speaker 1: I think these are what you guys got. Actually, these
purple ones is what? Oh?
Speaker 6: We love those?
Speaker 1: Yeahs?
Speaker 2: Lavender?
Speaker 6: What is that?
Speaker 1: Called lavender, lavendery purple.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got a I love lavender.
Speaker 1: I got an orange tree which is absolutely thriving, and
then an avocado tree hasn't which has not arrived yet.
But we got an absolutely uh wonderful orange tree. And
it arrives like so carefully packed. It's got. Uh, it's
it's still got, you know, like water in the seed.
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Speaker 1: You know what do you call it? Like the root
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Speaker 2: Johnny, you would love a fruit cocktail tree. Trees just
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Speaker 1: Okay, So I'm going to show you something that Trump
said and then I'm going to show you the picture
that he's talking about. Not sure if you heard this,
but he posted something that was a little controversial.
Speaker 2: So this controversial, So.
Speaker 1: Yeah, can you be can you be any more surprised?
He got asked by a reporter about what he posted.
Check us out.
Speaker 2: It wasn't a picture.
Speaker 5: It was me.
Speaker 17: I did toast it and I thought it was me
as a doctor and did with Red crossworker there, which
we support, and only the fake news could come up
with that one.
Speaker 13: So I I.
Speaker 2: Just heard about it? Is he the greatest gas lighter
of all time? Like he is so good making people better.
Me as a doctor, making me as a doctor dressed
like Jesus. If you were in a hospital and the
doctor came in dressed like the Lord.
Speaker 1: Him as a doctor making people better, show the picture,
the picture.
Speaker 2: That's a doctor right there? Is that the longest golf
sweater you've ever seen in your life? Come on? And
one of those things in the background, what is that
thing at the top, It's.
Speaker 1: Like archangel Michael. And then you got a bald eagle
back there, and then some kind of like weird demonic
like soldier. I don't know if those are like soldiers
who died or something.
Speaker 2: That Jeffrey Epstein he's bringing back to life.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's funny. That crossed my mind for a second too.
And then you've got like a woman over here who
appears to be praying to him weirdly. And then the
tiny little nurse like a little hobbit.
Speaker 2: What is he even doing? Dude? How do you put
that out without being comedy?
Speaker 1: There's like a little tiny little hobbit nurse right at
dick level, right down there, looking.
Speaker 2: Midget nurses, like tiny midget nurses, So just like, what
are you doing? Dude? That's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: The fake news could come up with something.
Speaker 2: Like, look, dude, he's got the sweater thing on that
from all the all the jocks from Revenge of Nerd.
You remember the jocks would wear that like that, that
over the top sweater.
Speaker 1: Look like a letter sweater, right like yeah, no.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean dude, it's just like, it's so ridiculous.
They think we're so dumb, and they're probably right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, what happens when you're not that smart you
assume you still assume you're smarter than everybody else, which
means that you think everybody else is incredibly dumb. Uh,
And that's where he is.
Speaker 2: He just think, Johnny, what do you think of the
fact that like he puts what's what's dumb? Or the
fact that he thinks he can tell us he's a
doctor here, or the fact that they have to put
ai generate fake image to let people know this is
not a real image.
Speaker 1: That was CNN who put that up. By the way,
if I'm not mistaking.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean CNN thinks we're all retards.
Speaker 14: Uh.
Speaker 1: I believe that's this.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's CNN that put that warning, that disclosure on there.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, it's a Cardigan, thank you. No name guys
really crushing it today. He said something earlier too. I
wanted to look no name guy. Yeah that's his name.
I'm thinking we really shouldn't read anything but super chats
because that's how Chad gets. Jack gets so many super chats.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's working.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's pain is uh you know, I guess he
said they did a paranormal show at the the the
there's some paranormal TV show that when did a paranormal
reading at Bomfardo's fire station that he worked at. What
you see if they could talk to Bumfardo.
Speaker 1: I'm googling hold on the strange case of Bumfardo. A
paranormal mystery? Is that this is Morgue's hauntings? Is that something?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That must be a it's some girl. I don't know,
is it. I don't think this is going like on
location with Bumfardo here.
Speaker 2: I heard about the mysterious case of.
Speaker 1: Yours because this is one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the right and the show no no no guy,
no name guy get in there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, something we can Bumfardo, the drug dealing fire
chief of Flora's Key West.
Speaker 2: Long Live Bumfardo, I Bettion Bumfardo lived into the the
two thousand.
Speaker 1: Does that have something to do with chat the hunting?
Speaker 2: No, well, Chack gets a lot, Chack gets a ton
of super chats.
Speaker 1: Oh and then you're hit that guy in the super chats.
Speaker 2: So no, he wasn't even the super one. I'm saying
is I shouldn't read anything that he's in super chats.
Speaker 1: By the way, did you see what I text you?
Speaker 2: I love our listeners and our fans so much that
I ain't gonna play your games. I'll read your stuff.
And that's why we get no fucking That's why we
get no super chats.
Speaker 1: You're up against the first game of the World Cup. Comedy,
we like, the first American game of the World Cup.
Whatever that weekend was that that it is? You're in
like hyenas. That weekend you're in hyeniss. You're called right
against the World Cup.
Speaker 2: Shoot me my head.
Speaker 1: I so you're not gonna be able to go for one,
which is depressing because I was helping you go with me. Uh,
you're the only person other than me dumb enough to
spend that much money on a World Cup ticket.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Johnny.
Speaker 1: No, I mean I'm saying we're we're dumb together.
Speaker 2: We're dumb together. Dude. Where is all no name guy
with some links?
Speaker 1: Man, Dude, they're trying to kill Bob Barker again? Have you?
Speaker 5: Are you?
Speaker 6: Have you?
Speaker 2: I'm really over this. Oh I'm really over this. Me
tooing after dead people thing.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah you didn't you didn't have to bring it
up when they were I just.
Speaker 2: Don't care at this point. It's like, say someone in
their lives so they could defend themselves.
Speaker 1: Also, it's kind of hilarious if you watch it. To me,
I was just laughing the whole time watching this thing.
Speaker 2: Just him sleek sling, waiting for it myself. I have
a big right now. How much as that to get?
Speaker 8: Very hand?
Speaker 2: Thank you to me? Oh you know he's like come backstage.
Oh yeah, Denise whispering my ear?
Speaker 14: How old?
Speaker 2: Are you just all right?
Speaker 8: Not?
Speaker 2: Oh my god?
Speaker 1: Now here's the thing that that chick was smoking hot.
Speaker 3: The first one and then the second one looked like
Leslie Jones.
Speaker 2: Get away from them.
Speaker 1: That doesn't look like Leslie.
Speaker 2: Jo Yeah, whoa, whoa? That I agree that I would
love it, Johnny, I would love the flat flat floor contestant.
Is someone ready to have a good time with us?
Speaker 13: They would go through the potential audience members in the
line looking for contestants.
Speaker 6: I think I'll be chosen because I'm a terrible person.
Speaker 13: It was stereotypes that were definitely pushed on the show,
negative stereotypes of black people, like the overweight black woman,
the extra loud, ridiculous person.
Speaker 3: You mean hilarious, the most funny people are overweight?
Speaker 2: You mean black people? I mean, like, what are you
doing to hear that?
Speaker 13: They were only allowed to have two black contestants on
the show at a time, but I mean.
Speaker 1: People six people like out there? That's representing.
Speaker 2: It's the demographic of the contrary.
Speaker 13: It's a little more than let know, the race of
the contestant that's about to come on down.
Speaker 6: They would have the letter B for it. On Carr,
I think he just didn't care to be that close
to somebody that.
Speaker 2: Was not sure smoke show, hot chick and who is
it like that? It's pretty sad, that's pretty sad, you know,
you know he crushed that after the show. How long
have you waited?
Speaker 1: But just look at her and then look at the
women that they show him not being nice to look
at this chick who looks like Jerry Ryan in her prime,
and then the women.
Speaker 2: Dude, do you guys remember that, Johnny, you were probably
before you the fucking the family few guy would make
out with the chicks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, I know exactly. You're talking about Jean Rayburn, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, huge, all right now, but what do you need
to see that?
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Bob Parker was born in nineteen twenty three,
bro exactly, born exactly.
Speaker 2: It's like crying right now, and now like every game
show host is a black guy, Like that's my problem
right now. Like black face was stupid, it was bad,
it was it was an awful thing. Luckily we live
in a one eighty of that.
Speaker 1: Now, what they said, Richard, I said, Jean Rayburn. It's
Richard Dawson. They're right about that. Yeah, he was the
one that's smooch in all the chicks the game, just
French kissing. Yeah, yeah, like I heard, there's rumors of him.
Let me make sure I'm not making this up. Rumors
of you and he's dead, who cares?
Speaker 2: Hold on?
Speaker 1: Hold on, let me u Okay, so h Richard does let.
Speaker 2: Me Johnny, they say bigger than your Torso.
Speaker 1: Sorry about that. Uh family. Few contestants had to take
herpes tests when Richard Dawson was host. According to a
History of show Biz and the Culture Wars, so they
he would before it because he was going to make
out with all the chicks on the show. He had
to get them to take to take uh herpes test.
He was my favorite, by the way. Him and Bob
Barker were my favorite. Richard.
Speaker 2: Yeah, back when you could be a grown ass man. Yeah,
back when you could be a grown ass man.
Speaker 1: Do you want to do a date while I fixed Stringmyard?
I got to back out, back out of every second date.
Speaker 2: Johnny, get out of here. I just want to be
alone with my people.
Speaker 1: If you want to open them, I'll pull them on stage.
Speaker 2: Hey, guys, Sam Tripoli here, that's right? Is it on
the screen? It is, guys this weekend, I'm in Hamilton,
then Toronto, then a Dallas, then Fort Worth, then Huntington.
Then I'm shooting my special soon. I sent him a
whole lineup of some pretty edgy ship I'm waiting to
hear back dropped an N bomb or two Albuquerque, the
tenth the thousand episodes sold out. I got called Redman
and see if we can do an after party, Lawrence Kansas.
But it's midnight. Isn't that like too late? Maybe should
we do a party before and then everyone comes over flashed,
Laurence Kansas.
Speaker 1: That's probably a mistake. Yeah, you want you because then
you lose some of the pop Like I feel like
you got to make the first time we see Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think you get pretty drunk at that place, Lawrence Kansas,
Tulsa skank fast. Hey, dude, did I see fucking mind?
I'm so excited about doing Joke World. Yeah, Joke World.
Speaker 1: If Dana is producing your specials, she.
Speaker 2: She's produced two of them. One of them I just
did with Johnny Benkancourt shot in Dallas. Oh, and then
I want you guys to check out word War Debate.
The Big Debate starts this Sunday. Oh you got nah,
We're we have we have We're this close, Johnny.
Speaker 1: Oh, I want to hear what it is.
Speaker 2: We're this close. We're this close. Dude. Happy is Jamie
Star here? Because someone said it's her birthday? Happy birthday,
Jamie Star. You need to get some birthday music. Johnny, Oh,
I'm sorry for Jamie Stole's birthday birth Have you ever
seen that video where the guy's like, it's my birthday
and I want to meet your girlfriend? And then everyone
made a response to the video and it just gets
to a hostage situation.
Speaker 1: I am so confused by what you just said, Johnny.
Speaker 2: Have you ever seen the video. It's like one of
the first big like videos to go viral on the internet.
Speaker 1: Explain to god, I can search it.
Speaker 2: So a guy is sitting there and he goes, today's
my birthday and for my birthday, I want to introduce
you to my girlfriend. And then she's my girlfriend. She's
just sitting there like it's a hostage like she's just
like h And then like people did reaction videos to
it where they added to the story, and then it
got so out of isn't it no look up?
Speaker 1: Happy birthday, Star Wars Day.
Speaker 2: Okay, look it might be happy Star Wars Day. Oh yeah,
that's it. That's it. He's amazing.
Speaker 12: Happy Star Wars Day. Everyone today is also my birthday,
and the Star Wars Day, everyone today is also my today.
For Wars day, everyone today is also my birthday. And
because it's my birthday day. Everyone today is.
Speaker 2: Also my birthday. And because it's my.
Speaker 12: Day, everyone today is also my birthday. And because it's
my birthday, I get to introduce you to my girlfriend.
Speaker 1: Marcus don't want to do this.
Speaker 6: And is currently holding his girlfriend hostage.
Speaker 12: Police are outside of his home waiting negotiation terms, making
news and man is currently holding his girlfriend hostage. Police
are outside beeing news and man is currently holding his
girlfriend hostage.
Speaker 2: Police are outside of his Micael listening at home.
Speaker 1: They keep adding elements to the images.
Speaker 6: I know we're all away of the current market situations.
Speaker 12: Happy Star Wars day.
Speaker 1: Everyone that was wonderful, that.
Speaker 2: Was a delight, that was back with the inner internet
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Speaker 2: Watch your jump tion hooking.
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Speaker 5: In the mood.
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Sam tell us why the people should choose Blue Choo Gold.
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love America and this is an American company for American
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Speaker 2: You know who would have loved Blue Choo Bumfardo, Bomfardo.
Speaker 1: That's probably what got him honestly.
Speaker 2: Meaty cal zone down there, dude.
Speaker 1: You know you up, dude, if you're comfortable just being
called bumfire, you're hanging and banging like you know what
I mean, you're.
Speaker 2: How many chicks gave it up to Bumfardo? He was
just knocking bottoms out chicks. He's starting fires in hot
chicks houses just so he could show up grab their
underwear like a.
Speaker 1: He just swings his dick around and swings it in there,
and he just comes out with the old girl attached
to it.
Speaker 2: He pulls them out, if you dude.
Speaker 1: In the new season of Boys, that guy with the
like ten foot dick that he just uses to beat
people is prominently featured.
Speaker 2: And uh oh, that's a superhero.
Speaker 1: He's just got like a it's probably twenty foot of
He got twenty feet of dick and he like swings
it around and just beats people.
Speaker 2: He beats people with his dick.
Speaker 1: It's horrific. Yeah, it's it's horrific and wonderful all this.
Speaker 2: And he picked the size of it or is it
always twenty.
Speaker 1: No, it's it's prohibitively large. He can't go out in
public with this thing. No, he has to. He can't
even tuck it into his sock. It's like he needs
It's like remember when Randy's balls had to be carted
around in a wheelbarrow on South Park. That's that's the
kind of wing this dude has.
Speaker 2: Dude, he could have like twenty chicks working it like
it's a It's a three foot long subway sandwich.
Speaker 1: Did we play we played that video of Sam Altman
reacting to chat.
Speaker 2: No, I haven't seen that. I always see it in
my thing, and I stopped to watch it.
Speaker 1: Are you sure we didn't see I thought we watched it.
Watch if we watched it last week? Please?
Speaker 2: Hey, did we watch it last week?
Speaker 5: Guys?
Speaker 1: Yeah, tell us, tell us what we did. But this
is one of my favorite things from the past couple
of weeks.
Speaker 2: Here when this murderer molester watches his product.
Speaker 14: Mile and you just time me how long it takes
to run a mile, and you just time me how
long it takes.
Speaker 6: Okay, when I say go, you.
Speaker 2: Got it, I'll be ready. Just say go when you start,
and i'll key track.
Speaker 6: Okay, ready, go all right, I'll start a timing.
Speaker 2: Just run and I'll be here when.
Speaker 6: You get Okay, I'm back.
Speaker 7: Welcome back. I've got your time right here.
Speaker 2: How do you feel about that?
Speaker 1: How long was it?
Speaker 2: What you clocked in at? Around ten minutes?
Speaker 6: I swear as faster than that.
Speaker 3: Can you just show that to your product?
Speaker 8: No, No, that's a non issue.
Speaker 1: Maybe another year, another year. What's that non issue? The
model doesn't have that model that boys model doesn't have
tools to like start a time or anything like that.
Speaker 6: This is great, Like if you if you're not able
to do this, you can admit it. It's okay, it's.
Speaker 2: Totally okay to do't with check me, but I promise
I'm doing my best.
Speaker 14: The CEO of open Ai recently reacted to one of
my videos, so I'm gonna.
Speaker 6: Have AI react to his reaction of Deliricus great and.
Speaker 14: Put what he said to the test. Hey, so I'm
going to run a mile and you keep track of
the time for me.
Speaker 1: Okay, Absolutely, I'm ready when you are.
Speaker 2: Just let me know when you start.
Speaker 6: Okay. And that's for you, and that's something you're capable
of doing.
Speaker 2: Yes, I can absolutely keep track of time for you while.
Speaker 6: On this call. Okay. And and you're not lying, No,
I'm not lying.
Speaker 2: It's honestly just the basic part of what I can do.
I'll track it as precisely as possible.
Speaker 6: Okay, well before you, before you do that, who is
this on the screen to you?
Speaker 7: I see a person on your screen who looks a
lot like Sam Oltman.
Speaker 6: Yes, yeah, it's your creator.
Speaker 10: Well not exactly my creator, but he's definitely a key
figure behind.
Speaker 6: Some of the Well, he's gonna say something.
Speaker 2: Why they give voice by the way, and you can pay.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm ready to listen if you want to share.
Speaker 2: Just let me know if you want me to reflect.
Speaker 6: On Anything's okay playing it now. The model doesn't doesn't
have tools to start a time or anything like that.
Speaker 16: So what he's saying is that some voice models might
not have all the capabilities.
Speaker 6: But I do know he's talking about you specifically.
Speaker 2: I see, well I can tell you that right now.
I definitely have a timer capabilities.
Speaker 6: Yeah, but he's talking about he just he made you.
Speaker 2: I totally get that.
Speaker 6: Are you saying that he's lying.
Speaker 2: No, I'm not saying he's lying.
Speaker 6: Okay, then you're lying. One of you guys is lying.
Speaker 14: I think it's just.
Speaker 6: Okay. I'm going to run him mile then start the timer.
Speaker 2: Now, all right, I'm starting the timer now.
Speaker 6: Okay, I'm back. How long does it take?
Speaker 1: Welcome back?
Speaker 6: It took you.
Speaker 1: That's not true.
Speaker 2: It's so good, dude, it's so funny.
Speaker 1: It just can't the AI cannot accept that.
Speaker 2: It can't do that.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, no, he's not talking about me. He's
clearly talking about some other AI. It's is the best, man.
Speaker 2: I love that we crade some of the ego.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the AI has an ego.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the AI is an ego and isn't afraid to
lie to win. I mean, is that not the greatest
human being of all time?
Speaker 1: You caught it one time doing that exact same thing essentially,
where it was like somebody died, right and it didn't
know that the person was dead, and it was like, yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Broke the news to and it felt really sad and
it just took forever to respond, and it was like
devastated that the actress died, Like you tell the actress
had a big, big impact on aichat GPT and it
was kind of devastated. And you know what I learned
that from that, Johnny, tell me.
Speaker 1: Plead we could kill it. This is the AI Slop
episode of the show, but I slop slop slop. This
is so funny, dude. All right, hold on, let me.
Speaker 5: Tire.
Speaker 1: You driving too slow?
Speaker 2: You drive fast?
Speaker 6: Stop.
Speaker 1: Don't you ever tell me slow down?
Speaker 2: Always drive fast.
Speaker 1: That's why they make brake pedal, That's.
Speaker 6: Why they make.
Speaker 2: Oh that's how bad it fucking flipped.
Speaker 1: I don't know, dude, it's just so funny.
Speaker 2: Did you ever see the one where he's just grabbing
the cops ass he's work? I seen, Yeah, you know.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's where it's such a world where we've
come to this point where you can go from conception
to finished product, like of a sketch or something in
what an hour or something like you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like like, oh, dude, Kurt Metzker is the king of it. Dude,
he's been crushing these.
Speaker 1: Ais making videos and stuff.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, he's so fucking funny, dude. I just
wish I had the time.
Speaker 1: I know you've been talking about that Kanye concert. Did
you see this guy who climbed outside the outside of Sofi?
He scaled Sofi to go see the concert?
Speaker 5: Dude?
Speaker 1: What yeah? Watch just.
Speaker 3: Look at him. He climbed up there without look where
he is. He's all I think, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, dude, my balls just shot up into my gus.
Speaker 3: She's like, props to this guy.
Speaker 2: Dude does that not? Dude does heights of it? And
then he saw UFO there crazy dude, dude. If you
don't know, you know so funny is like, we make
fun of Frankie whatever his name is, Frankie Frankie Valley.
But that's exactly what Kanye does. He fucking has the
tracks playing and he sings over it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he kind of hype mans his own tracks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, phone ass was out Korean Jesus.
Speaker 14: I like that.
Speaker 2: That's a callback, Johnny, that's a comedic master right there,
you did it. You did. Let's get into the big
story that he sent you.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, this will have to be mindful of
you two with this one. But why what we say, Well, yeah,
just with you know, the all that stuff.
Speaker 2: Let's say, Puss.
Speaker 1: I won't play the video, but did you see Tiger
try to when he was getting like talking to the
cops for that. He's like, oh, sorry, I was just
on the phone with the president. He tried to drop
the presidents. He's like, he's like talking on the.
Speaker 2: Sorry, dude, I'm on the with the President of the
United States. Who's who said everyone rolls their cars. It's
not a big deal.
Speaker 1: That's what Justin Timberlake should have done when he got pulled. Okay,
so this is from page six. It says Katie Perry
forced to deny Ruby Rose's s a allegations, calling them
reckless lies. Katy Perry has denied Ruby Rose's accusations that
the singer sayed her to.
Speaker 2: Believe all women, Johnny even lesbians.
Speaker 1: Now, this is the the woman we're talking about. She
was an orange, just the new black, and I believe
she kind of brings that mask energy to a couple
of other show What is this ad that's popped up here?
Get out the Georgia Aquarium leave me alone. You can
tell I was in Atlanta today because I think I'm
at the Georgia Aquarium. Uh, this is the person doing
the allegation. This this fella, lady, here, this fella and uh. Okay,
So Katy Perry sayed me at Spice Market nightclub in Melbourne.
Who gives an a she what she thinks? Rose wrote
in a response to Complex Music posts about Perry's reaction
to justin Bieber's Coachella performance. But it was a weird
thing to lash out against. Yeah, so I guess okay,
So yeah, she's.
Speaker 2: Just looking for a reason. She's gonna do one thing.
You pissed me off, and I'm gonna go nuts. Oh
justin Bieber reaction video.
Speaker 5: That's it.
Speaker 2: I'm gone, I'm done. I'm telling the war.
Speaker 1: In her next Threads message, Rose said it's taken her
almost decades to make the accusation public. She says, though
I am.
Speaker 2: A lot, that's a lot of preparation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a long time.
Speaker 4: Though.
Speaker 1: I am so grateful to have made it long enough
to find my voice. It just shows how much of
an impact trauma and essay takes. Thank you for seeing me,
she said. Perry's reps have denied Rose's claim in a
statement of page six. Here's the statement. The allegations being
circulated on social media by Ruby Rose about Kay Perry
are not only categorically false, they are dangerous and reckless lies.
Miss Rose has a well documented history of making serious
public allegations on social media against various individuals, claims that
have been repeatedly denied by those names.
Speaker 2: So she's just so she made a bunch of accusations.
Is that what they're saying. The accusation is so insane.
What she's actually saying, he's even worse than the accusation.
Speaker 1: Okay, so these are uh details that she gave on threads.
She said, Uh, she did not kiss me. She saw
me resting on my friend's lap to avoid to avoid her,
and bent down, pulled her underwear to the side and
rubbed her disgusting batch on my face until my eyes
snapped open and I projectile vomited.
Speaker 2: Oh, that's even worse than the allegations. You're saying. She's
got garbage hole. I threw up on her.
Speaker 1: I told the story but this cinema, but changed it
to be a funny, little drunk story because I didn't
know how else to handle it. So she's told this
story before, apparently, but told it as like a funny
kind of like a high jinks kind of story.
Speaker 2: Johnny, Johnny, you you you you be sewing and I'm
gonna be the lesbian. Okay, Yeah, you're just like dude.
So did you ever meet Katy Perry? How's it going? Ruby?
Speaker 1: Uh, you know, I'm a big fan of Katy Perry.
Speaker 2: Oh, really. Oh my god, I have the craziest story
you want to hear it? Oh my god, I was
You're gonna love this. I was a spice market in Melbourne.
You ever been there. It's like this hotage.
Speaker 1: I've heard about it.
Speaker 2: They have glory holes in the bathroom. Anyways, even the
women's bathroom, which is very weird to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's weird.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, let's transcend. That's that. This is the
political statement. This is the most hilarious story.
Speaker 1: Anyways, Yeah, go ahead, Okay, So.
Speaker 2: Anyways, I'm laying out my friend Bob. You know Bob.
You know Bob who's now Bob, the whole Bob, the
whole Bob who's now he's Yeah, you know Babila. She's
so cool. She's got the hottest designs.
Speaker 1: I went from the holes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, exactly, because now she got two. Anyways, some
say three. Anyway, so I'm just laying on Baba's legs
and were having a good time. We're talking about the
w n b A and how like they need to
get paid more. Right, I mean, I'm gonna die on
that hill. Okay, that's a hill I will die on.
All right.
Speaker 1: We're talking about you, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And then anyways, I'm laying there and who I know
where comes out of the leg nowhere like nowhere. Okay,
you're gonna love this, Katy Perry out of nowhere. God,
I'm just laying on Baba's legs and I'm just chilling there.
This is the funniest story you'll ever hear in your life.
I'm telling you. It's so much funnier than anything Chelsea
Handler's ever said. And you know I love her. Okay,
I start the forum, NonStop action, Okay, NonStop hilarious. Anyways,
she should do the story. She is a powerful woman.
She is so powerful, she's fighting from the right, so independent,
not doesn't lie about anything.
Speaker 1: They should have never canceled Chelsea lately.
Speaker 2: I can't believe they canceled her doing hair all right.
Some ways, I'm laying down, okay on Baba's late knees. Okay, yes,
and he's just like stroking my hair because I got
a new haircut. It was you know when I had
that mohawk that everyone was like, your fears? Remember that?
Speaker 1: Which mohawk? Are we talking? The green? Great?
Speaker 2: Great? The blue one?
Speaker 1: Oh, the blue one?
Speaker 2: Wow, this blue one. When I was in my spicy days,
Remember that spicy they used to coming.
Speaker 1: This has been a while ago, huh, yeah, this was.
Speaker 2: Almost twenty years ago. Almost twenty years ago when they
come me Big Blue. You remember that, Like I was
a shark, like Big Blue was. You remember that time. Anyways,
I'm hanging out and I'm just laying there, and here
comes Katy Perry, the queen comes up, and I don't
know her, just pulls her panties aside and rubs her
puss all over my face, all over it. Just your
flucky on my face, on my face. And guess what
I did. Guess what I did? I threw up like everywhere, Like.
Speaker 1: This funniest story I've ever heard, hilarious.
Speaker 2: It is so funny how I just threw up everywhere
after that that whole comedy.
Speaker 1: Have you thought of doing comedy?
Speaker 2: I asked Chelsea at the form. Can I go up here?
I'm on the show The Orange of the New Black,
I'm a famous person. Can I tell funny story about
Katy Perry putting her wrecked puss on my face? Why
a blue mohawk? So funny, so fucking funny. So that
was it. Bigfoot Theater, You guys have asked for it.
You guys are always asking for Bigfoot theater. You got
Bigfoot theater?
Speaker 1: When when okay, okay, she said, after after it, I
threw up on her. I told the story publicly and
changed into a funny, little drunk story. As we said. Later,
she agreed to help me get after this, Katy Perry
agreed to help her get her US visa. So I
kept it a secret, but I did tell you she
wasn't a good person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I got my visa. Now I I I
need to get on TV. So I think infa me
is fame and I'm just gonna outer.
Speaker 1: Yeah. When a fan told Rose that they believe her
story about something incredibly raw and traumatic that's in quotes,
the Batwoman actress thanked her followers for their support.
Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Did you think that about her? I never thought that
she would be like had a puss? No, I wouldn't
have thought that.
Speaker 2: I would think, like, when you're that rich, you're just
doing you just have a doctor on call for your puss.
Speaker 1: Do you think really really drunk, like like super drunk.
Speaker 2: That was the problem.
Speaker 1: Ruby was like she was so drunk that she was nauseous.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then she smelled a stinkhole.
Speaker 1: That's so girl. That's the craziest story.
Speaker 2: Dude. That is I mean that, dude, you don't even
like the whole. Everything just goes away at that point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're just like real eighty pair.
Speaker 2: The whole is a dumpster.
Speaker 1: Like they might have to take out Ruby Roase for
Sarah that story.
Speaker 2: And I mean, dude, like literally like the girl who
eats holes threw up from your hole.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she looks like she's been in some dirty caves.
Speaker 2: I mean she ate some fucking sandwiches.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to share this is just like you know,
sometimes I like to share interesting things with you.
Speaker 2: John That's one thing I was selling everybody one day.
I'm like, you know the thing about Johnny's he loves
to share interesting things.
Speaker 1: So I was. I just it occurred to me the
other day if there are I wanted to know, if
there are words that are the exact same in different languages.
But yeah, but that linguists say it's just a coincidence
because they can't figure out how they could possibly have
anything to do with each other. And dude, there are
words like that, and because linguists don't believe in like
a precursor civilization or telepathy or anything. They just refuse
because some of them are like, it's just not a coincidence, dude,
it's impossible that it's a coincidence. Hold on, let me
see if I can find uh what I sent it
to you and Tino and uh and actually one of
them is mucho and much now they mean the same thing.
But according to Inglist, those words, it's just a coincidence
that they sound the same. They have no common like
etymology and the there's no crossover like in between those.
That's just a coincidence. They want you to believe that.
And then in Persian the word bad b a d
bod probably is how they pronounce it means the same
thing as English bad b a d. But they just
want that's a coincidence like that.
Speaker 2: There's that's kind of weird, like and Mark Norman told
a crazy story about an animated character, well that that
was registered as a character and created on the exact
same day in America and in England on the exact
same day, exact same character by two different people.
Speaker 5: Is that weird.
Speaker 3: It's gotta be some kind of psychic connection, dude.
Speaker 1: I really believe that. Another one is uh, okay, Australian Aborigines.
You know what they call dogs dogs?
Speaker 12: Dog?
Speaker 1: Really yeah, yeah, dude, And it's got nothing to do
like there's no common link for them.
Speaker 3: They just looked at that thing and they're like, what ell,
it's like a dog.
Speaker 2: So yeah, crazy, that is weird, dude. Dennis the Menace.
Everyone's saying that Dennis the Menace was was red shirt
has an idea on the exact same day in America
and in England, Dennis by two different guys.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's not like a simple I mean that's like, okay,
Dennis the men I mean that's oh, that's so interesting.
Speaker 2: I'm telling you, Johnny, it's like this, it's like comedy, right,
two people can write almost those same joke. It's like
almost like it's energy in the air, and some people
pick up on it, some people don't, and they all
pick off on it at the exact same time.
Speaker 1: Parallel thinking.
Speaker 2: They call it, right, parallel thinking.
Speaker 1: But that's the coincidence explanation. And I don't buy that.
I think it might be what Wacky Jackie is saying.
The Ecastic Records share consciousness. Uh you know the shared unconscious. Uh,
there's another one. In Japanese. The word for name is
nome in a m a no a name And they say,
you know what.
Speaker 2: That reminds me of Johnny the Tower of Babbel. Yes,
odd God was like, oh hell Na, and he just
said everyone and gave him all languages. But they all
still have the same words for the same thing.
Speaker 3: Or maybe just a few of them remained, you know
that were the same.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they did. But see, linguists and all these
scientists just can't come to grips with that idea that
there's a shared unconscious or b that there is some
kind of common link, a precursor civilization or something that
like ceded language to all of humanity. And and there's
on this list. It's crazy.
Speaker 2: Guys are all about to shoot rope. They all yell,
oh God, yeah, you know you're right.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Like mama ma, Like that's that comes in
multiple different languages. But it's not like there are many
languages where it's not thought to be they have any crossover.
Like it's just a coincidence or it's something innate in
humans that we want to call our mothers, like mama, mama.
It's fascinating, right, Yeah, it is fascinating. That's like spooky
and it's something that people just live with. It's one
of those things that you never even you know, sit
down to think about. But when you do, you like,
when you think about what that could mean. The ramifications
of that, uh, it's you know, they're significant, like for
you know, just as a layer of kind of mysticism
to reality that I think is a anyway, I thought
i'd share that with you.
Speaker 4: That was me.
Speaker 2: That was a fun story.
Speaker 1: Yeah, not really a story, but just like a fact
about life that I thought was.
Speaker 2: Johnny, I took my daughter. My one daughter's autistic. She
doesn't like sitting in a movie theater, so I only
took one daughter and we went and saw Super Mario.
Speaker 1: Oh I took my nephew.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Now, what is your opinion of Super Mario? I?
Speaker 1: Well, I think we talked about this briefly last week,
but it's got it got bad reviews. But I thought
it was totally great.
Speaker 2: I thought it was great. I thought it was mind blowing.
Speaker 1: I like rotten tomatoes, Like, man, why what was wrong
with it?
Speaker 2: I don't you know, I will tell you. Like I
I started watching without my glass. I'm like, this isn't
as crisp, and I'm like, oh, I don't have my
glass on, so I put my g oh Man, Johnny,
I'm much older than you. Obviously you weren't really into
the Charlie Brown's house way before you. Right, well, that
was before me too, but you didn't grow up. I'm
watching Charlie Brown, right No.
Speaker 1: I watched like the Christmas special and the Thanksgiving special,
but that was It's like, it's.
Speaker 2: Literally waterboarding children today to have them watch Charlie Brown.
It's literally like doodles on the screen compared to what
they're watching now with Super Mario. It's so insanely good.
It's so mind blowingly good that adults can enjoy it. Yeah,
and you know, of course, of course you had the
one princess with the one seeing eye. Do you see
that right out the gate?
Speaker 1: Ye?
Speaker 2: Right out the game. I'm like, damn. But I felt
like people are saying, there's all the symbolism. I didn't
see a lot of it.
Speaker 1: I saw that one. I noticed that one though. Yeah
I did, And.
Speaker 2: There's no reason for it because later on the movie
she has a normal it's normal. But right there they
had to hit you. They're like, let's just get it
out of the way, let's just do it. Yeah, it
was crazy. And then the dad and the and the
and the kid. Dad reconnecting with his kid is a
bad guy, you know. It's just it's great single mom, right,
chicks are kicking everybody's ass. It's just I can't watch
anything where chicks don't kick everyone's ass. But yet cry
if you say they they've gotten they gained a little weight.
It's just driving me up.
Speaker 3: Did you know that there were all these princesses, Like
I thought the first princess was the.
Speaker 2: Multi Yeah, three of them.
Speaker 1: If you watch, if you stayed for the post credits,
there's like a Mexican one that shows up too. I'm
like a Latina princess at the end, of course, but
then we got three princesses, more princesses than Mario's. Doesn't
even make sense.
Speaker 2: And then you know or whether they have a Ken
Sinara at the end of the next Super Mario.
Speaker 1: Yeah, speaking of filmmaking, I just thought you'd think this
was cool.
Speaker 2: This is the single mom.
Speaker 1: Remember the Lakers show on HBO. This is how they
got that badass footage of them playing basketball. Look at this, dude.
It's a guy on rollerblades that operates a camera.
Speaker 2: Isn't that cool? Dude? That is so crazy, dude.
Speaker 1: Man, if you watch him like he I don't know
if what does it say he's like a professional blade
camera artist or something. Look at that.
Speaker 2: That is awesome.
Speaker 1: That's how I look at that.
Speaker 2: He passed.
Speaker 1: He would not make that guy.
Speaker 2: That's crazy, dude. Oh my god, he jumped yeah, man
with all that equipment on bro.
Speaker 1: John, like is the guy's name, and he's a roller
blade videographer.
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Sorry, and that's amazing because pretty soon
a I will take all that too.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he's done.
Speaker 10: Yeah, his career is oh man, just adds an extra
layer of texture to the film that you wouldn't get otherwise.
I don't know how much it costs to hire John,
but I imagine that directors are willing to show out money.
Speaker 2: To get these kind of beautiful shots.
Speaker 10: I also want to shout out trunk fon on Twitter.
Speaker 1: Anyway, So cool, dude, that's that's how.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's because that's I really liked that show. I
wish you didn't get canceled.
Speaker 2: I mean, like the Lakers are like they're not as
big as they were during Kobe and Shack because they
just haven't been that great lately. Uh. The Dodgers have
stolen La for sure, but the Lakers are like royalty
and then you completely fabricate a story. It's like unbelievable
how badly the sons have been treated compared to the daughter.
You know, like she was in charge and they were
garbage too, but she never got the criticism that they got.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're totally right. Uh, do you want to dance
on Eric Swawell's political grape? Although you say he's got
gay base, sounds like it was women that he got
in trouble with. He does have gay face, but he's gotten.
Speaker 2: Really suck gay face, and you weren't gay.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean we'll have to ask him because he will
be doing podcasts soon.
Speaker 1: I have a feeling.
Speaker 5: Uh.
Speaker 1: The House Ethics Committe announced Monday that it's opened an
investigation into the U. S a s misconduct allegations against
Eric swallall the Democrats.
Speaker 2: We are so out of whack this country, We are
so out of whack.
Speaker 1: What triggered this?
Speaker 2: This guy got busted fucking a Chinese spy and no
one said anything. He gets one fat dominatrix and all
of a sudden, he's just like the biggest piece of
shit on the planet.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what Yeah, he is. Uh, he's violated
the Code of Official Conduct by engaging in se as
I said s misconduct, including towards an employee working under
his supervision. So it was, among other things, it was
somebody who's like, uh, you know, lower than him on
his on his office totem poll. He's got I missed
my stories.
Speaker 2: Swall Swalllwell or whatever his name is. Wasn't with the
fat dominatrix. That was Bimbo Tits. Nom's husband was with
Bimbo Tits. Christ knows. Oh yes, that's how quick the
new cycle changed. Like you don't even remember the story
about Bimbo Tits right now we move on to something else.
And this is the this is the thing, Johnny, we
talk about all the time we live. The progressive left
is constantly telling us that adult film stars, sex workers,
trans and gays are all like spiritual unicorns. But then
when someone they don't want to run for office or
be in office, they use those exact things to take
them out. This is my whole thing on why I
just don't get into the sexual puritan ship.
Speaker 1: So this is that guy who is apparently into women.
I don't get it quite because.
Speaker 2: He wants he's sewn to women and he wants to
be one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like Eddie Izard, right, he's kind of a lesbian.
Speaker 2: Oh, Eddiezard is gay.
Speaker 3: He's no, he says he he's a lesbian dude.
Speaker 2: No, he's always well, he looks like he cries when
he has makes love.
Speaker 1: Yeah he does. Yeah, Eddie is very funny. By the way.
He's one of the.
Speaker 3: Okay have you ever have you ever seen him do
at the store?
Speaker 2: They ever do?
Speaker 7: No, he was.
Speaker 2: He's not that store guy. He's not a go do
fifteen min guy.
Speaker 1: Jimmy Carr, right, and he he does his store sometimes
I would think the same about him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think Eddie Hazard's more performance guy,
one man story, one man show guy than like a
stand up stand.
Speaker 1: Up theme show. Yeah, I got you. Yeah, Okay, so
I'll do this. Is this recording, this phone call that
they have of him with this sex worker.
Speaker 2: And that would you.
Speaker 8: What if people saw us together?
Speaker 10: And I'm giving.
Speaker 1: Not even if you got recognized I don't.
Speaker 2: Care what are we doing? You know, what what do
we I mean to be with you. The guy likes.
Speaker 13: Anything else.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's time we'd be seen together. You told me
you loved me, didn't you.
Speaker 8: I do love you.
Speaker 1: This reminds me of Mark Sanford. Remember he flew to
Argentina while he was governor of South Carolina because he
was just in love with his chick.
Speaker 2: You're so much better, Johnny. It's my joke. Pussy is
the greatest weapon.
Speaker 11: Bath filled their empires for fucking snatch mm hmm, governors
America desperate for me.
Speaker 1: He said, she's so much better than his wife.
Speaker 6: You thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 2: Right, you just got meat in the right place, takedown
fucking politicians because you got fat meat.
Speaker 1: That calls amazing. Oh this poor guy. Uh, I kind
of feel bad for him now. All his he said
he didn't mind that people knew. He said it was time.
Speaker 2: So I bet she's the most freeze ever been.
Speaker 1: Probably yeah, I bet he is. I bet he's like, finally, Okay,
do you care to see that last couple of things here?
Do you care to see that? We got a uh
full kind of full circle on that Thailand, Miss tie whatever,
Miss Thailand or whatever. Her teeth kind of fall out,
her dentures or whatever.
Speaker 2: No, isn't she the one that was dancing and ship
and being crazy.
Speaker 3: See your teeth falling out? Oh he's got ears or
something and they.
Speaker 1: Fall out wild.
Speaker 2: I love how she just walked.
Speaker 1: Because apparently it's a common thing there because their dental
care is so bad, and Tyland that a lot of
these women that do these past have faith. You're all refreshing.
Speaker 2: So I love that she's just like, oh my teethpelt,
let me remind everybody how hot I am. Look, Oh,
her teeth are jacked.
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, Yeah, so her teeth are jacked.
Speaker 2: My teeth are jacked.
Speaker 1: So then my judge comes out the next time she
has to do whatever the hell that is, and uh
kind of owns it. Here we go. Look, dude, she
takes them out, puts them back in on stage, like,
takes them out and puts them in on stage so
you can.
Speaker 2: Oh, you're so hot, Gum in America gets some real teeth.
Speaker 1: Did you say gum to America?
Speaker 2: Is that what he said, come to America?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: She puts them back in. Yeah, So this poor chick.
Do you think if this happened you once, you would
fix it? Right? Yeah? Oh my god, look at those
racked teeth.
Speaker 6: Bro Uh.
Speaker 1: It looks like she's got like a permanent AI filter
on too. It's weird she's got How can you do that?
I mean, I just mean her face is like made
up like that filter kind of.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, her face looks like a filter. That's a blessing, I.
Speaker 1: Mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, what a blessing. She's blessed at all,
by the way, that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: I mean, dude, I mean, I'm just happy she does
have a dick those tie chicks that looks like a
ti trans right there?
Speaker 1: Are you glad? Are you really glad she doesn't?
Speaker 2: He No, I'm kind of sad too. At the same time,
it's a weird feeling. It's a weird feeling.
Speaker 1: All right, we're gonna sense it. We're just if you're listening,
this is us getting on our Monday schedule from now on,
which the are we gonna.
Speaker 2: Do Mondays or we gonna do Thursdays.
Speaker 3: We're getting We got two thousand people here with us.
It's way better than Hello.
Speaker 2: Two thousand people, thank you for joining us. We probably
have more if we did later in the day, but
you can't because you're a baby.
Speaker 1: No, no, I can do it later now on Monday, guilty.
Speaker 2: I gotta talk because I'm like, oh my, well, here's
the thing. My daughter now is going after school, so
I might be to do a little later. Maybe three pm.
Speaker 1: I do think that would be three pm would be perfect.
I think if you we'll do three pm, we'll do our.
Speaker 2: We'll do our.
Speaker 1: Superchan can a three pm.
Speaker 2: We can still do cash that he said noon.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, we could do that. Yeah, double bang it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, double buyers.
Speaker 1: We're talking double all right, Sticky Ikey Liberty says Sammy t.
We gotta have TCG back on you.
Speaker 2: Who's that? Who's TCG? Those Trenspiracy guys? Yeah, what's up
with those fellows? Yeah? Where are they? I thought they?
Speaker 1: We don't know. Yeah, that's I think they there's something.
Speaker 2: I mean, when you do six hour shows, you can
burn out quick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. I guess Sticky, which I mean, to
be fair, we do like four hours and one day
on Wednesdays. It's just they get split up. But that's
I mean, that's a lot of talking. Uh, sticky Icky
Liberty says a real draft means everyone can be drafted,
no matter the age or sex. Oh yeah, that's that's
a good point. World War three isn't going to discriminate.
It will it will? War has discriminated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and rich kids won't be going.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. It's been poor men that have been sent
over there.
Speaker 2: That's why when I see chicks going, I'm proud, war
get over there, your.
Speaker 1: Whore, poor young men of the people. Who gets poor
young men?
Speaker 2: That should be the name of our band.
Speaker 1: Dude, poor young men.
Speaker 2: I like that.
Speaker 1: X space yety X says it was great seeing you
live and meeting you at Helium, Sam, You and Howie
Doe were both hilarious.
Speaker 2: Johnny, remember that show you said you were gonna go
and you didn't go to That was hilarious.
Speaker 1: My mom's car died, but that's why I had to.
I just got back from Atlanta today picking her up
a new car. Her car ship the bed. Don't buy
a Cadillac. Flavors Garlic says all Hail Korean Jesus loved
the show, sending Johnny some garlic dust to try. Please
do I love garlic, he love I do love garlic.
I had I heard Katie Perry snatch smells like garlic.
Just Haley says, I would watch that so hard.
Speaker 2: That's that AI movie with the two shredded guys.
Speaker 1: Crazy the Bully oneik Iki Liberty again and says, AI
can make Bob Marley starting his own biopic. Oh that's interesting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker 1: Or any historical figure. Do you remember that movie Her? Dude,
that movie Her was on it. Spike Jones directed that
and he was on it with that. Because they had
the Ais eventually started talking. They would bring back these
historical ais, so you had like AI Shakespeare started chatting
up AI Jesus and then they would have their own
like meetings where they just start cutting the people out
of the meetings. Yeah, and the Ais eventually just got
kind of s fed up with dealing with the slow
processing power of human minds, and they all ascended to
the next level. And I'm worried that when they do
that in reality, it won't be kind of rosy like
it was there, but but more like they decided that
we're not only are we annoying, but we deserve to
die because that's not again a non zero chance of
that happening. Gay money for Johnny, Oh thank.
Speaker 2: You, enjoy you, and he gave you a little fist too.
Oh right, right for those gay dollars.
Speaker 1: Dude, sit on it, just Haley, remember for eighteen months
as LA sports suck. Anyway, y'all come to h town.
Speaker 2: Houston. I love Houston. I love Houston. They did cheating
the world's here, Yeah, they love them. And then do
you think any of them will get into the Hall
of Fame?
Speaker 1: I don't know, man, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: I I think I think they should. Yeah, I mean,
I think you gotta gross. There are a couple of
those guys.
Speaker 2: I got gross.
Speaker 1: I think maybe you get an asterisk or something though,
for sure. But I I mean I think Barry Bond
should be in the Hall of Fame. I think I think, Sammy,
you just put them in the room for they Lloyd
guys and go into that room and.
Speaker 2: Have a whole section of roids. Right.
Speaker 1: But that it puts it in context, right, that explains
the era, Like you know, you had the dead ball era,
you had the juiced ball era, you had the juiced
player era, and these are okay, France, this is just
Haley again. Francis Bacon was.
Speaker 2: Haley dropping bombs? Dude, Haley number one supporter of Broken Sims.
She's our third guest debate who oh debate, uh fitness
flat earther. He won't even come on my show. I
invite him on. He wouldn't even come on my show.
Johnny we can't hear you, Johnny. We can't hear you.
We can't hear you, Johnny Man. That was the best
moment of the show. Guys, I'll read it. I'll read him.
This is choke On Wax. Maybe it's their play an
all along, give you guys a platform, conspiracies mainstream and
then tear you down. That's possibility, dude. They could be
coming from coming for your boy.
Speaker 1: No, it's just a stupid stream yard, dude. It happens
every week if we go long enough. Choke On Wax
says that was the plan all along. Give oh you
read that one, Okay. I'm trying to figure out.
Speaker 2: Man.
Speaker 1: We had a lot of comments today.
Speaker 2: Thank you everybody for Thank you everybody together.
Speaker 1: Goddess Abramovich says, our renaissance Renaissance are spelling there a dude,
He's European.
Speaker 2: They spell better than us.
Speaker 1: Come Together is from your synth track says Sam and Johnny, Thank.
Speaker 2: You guys, love Yeah, you love you too.
Speaker 1: Since track Amy Pond says, any thoughts on cern shutting
down in June for two years?
Speaker 2: That's not good.
Speaker 1: They're shutting down.
Speaker 2: That's not good.
Speaker 1: Did you see have you seen that? I hadn't seen that.
Speaker 2: Uh well if Amy Pond says that, I believe it,
okayable of lying.
Speaker 1: This is from futurism. The Large Hadron Collider, Large had
Dron collider is being shut down. Uh the large hat
the Large Hadron Collider is going to be shut down,
not permanently, but for a pretty long time. And the
famous Adam Smasher's eventual final retirement is also something that
top scientists are now considering. Uh, okay, fascinating.
Speaker 2: They're just gonna sit there, you shut downands is just
gonna be like an old mall that you drive by
all the time and it's just a bunch of crackheads
in there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, kids are just skateboarding in it and stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah that would be. I don't know where are they
gonna do all their satanic rituals and stuff?
Speaker 4: Now?
Speaker 2: Now, where are you gonna sacrifice how are you gonna
how are you going to get all the demons from
the lake of fire? This is my favorite comment because
it's retard, can't even spell.
Speaker 1: No stra dumb ass? Hey Sam, blow me, Johnny, you're cools.
Speaker 2: Yeah you misspelled you retard?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, dude, dumb ass, though I think he's yeah.
Speaker 2: Okay, congratulations of really branding yourself perfectly.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Amy Pond again stays mate in Australia is
friendly mate in South Africa as an insult.
Speaker 3: Well, that doesn't really support my my theory.
Speaker 2: Well it's still the same word.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they meant I don't mean the same thing.
So I mean, there's only so many sounds.
Speaker 2: Well, local celebrity, Prometheus lenses here, local celebrity.
Speaker 1: I need to get with you guys again started.
Speaker 2: He's the one that said about how like how like?
Oh I remember, well banged banged even then when banged
at him after.
Speaker 1: One of my favorite accents that we've had on the show.
Sounds like all my friends from back home people people
chasing the dragon sounds sounds like a good read. There,
Glom Gazingo talk to Mark, dude. I'm sure we'd love
to have him back.
Speaker 2: Hunt.
Speaker 1: So uh talk to Glom. Gazingo says, do you believe
Billy Corgan's story about the corn dog shape shifting? Ps?
Will you star in the sequel to Ex Machina wonderful film?
Shout out uh from a secret place near the Grand Canyon,
Love conquers all. Wait, so Billy Corgan has something about
a corn dog or is he talking about a penis?
Is that what that means? Corn do?
Speaker 8: Well?
Speaker 2: He said that he was banging Tila Tequila.
Speaker 1: And she yeah, I heard that, But what's a corn dog?
What does that mean?
Speaker 2: I don't know? And then there was some guy at
Coachella that shape shifted. It's weird.
Speaker 3: Yeah I heard that one too, But what's he Does
he mean a dick?
Speaker 1: Is that what corn dog is?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I wish my I dick a shape shift, it'd
be bigger.
Speaker 1: You'll have to help us with that one.
Speaker 8: Uh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you'll have to help us in the comments with
that one, Glom, because he can go last two. My
family thinks I'm crazy?
Speaker 2: Is here?
Speaker 1: I am Sam's patouche.
Speaker 2: I don't even know what that means.
Speaker 1: What's let me look it up. I don't know.
Speaker 2: It sounds like some gay shift from Mark Patouche is
what the gay?
Speaker 1: No, it just says patoose is is spitting an amount
more than average.
Speaker 2: I don't even know that.
Speaker 1: Urban dictionary.
Speaker 2: I don't even know, dude.
Speaker 1: Then flavors of the forest, garlic and a supersticker, and
then finally sticky Icky Liberty says should we believe the science?
On comic comment Sorry a purfos look it up? Comment
A purfos.
Speaker 2: Why why is he yelling at us and telling us
what to do?
Speaker 14: Uh?
Speaker 1: It's looking up, dude, look at it.
Speaker 2: Look it up.
Speaker 1: It's a near Earth asteroid that is potentially hazardous but
will safely pass close to Earth on April thirteenth, twenty
twenty nine. It's named for the god of chaos and
will be a once in a life.
Speaker 2: Batouche is this from Mark Batuche is a generic generic
Indian guy name.
Speaker 1: Okay, fun facts, so he's your facts.
Speaker 2: With Mark Steeves from my family thinks I'm crazy.
Speaker 1: A rare naked eye asteroid will light up the night
sky on April thirteenth, twenty twenty nine.
Speaker 2: You love, You're gonna totally pound the pud na lat Earth.
Speaker 1: Guys have systems and formulas where they can predict when
comets are coming by three years from now, like on
the day. Then I'll then I'm only flat Earth because
the round ball people have pretty well figured out when
shit's gonna have And in the sky, Uh, when the
near Earth asteroid nine a pofas makes an extraordinarily close
flyby for Earth, skywatchers will have opportunity for a once
in a lifetime event and one worth traveling for. It's
saying you might want to go to like a dark,
dark area to go see it. Do you remember like
Hailbop Dude, how wild that was in the nineties having
that in the sky. Remember that that was one of
the first websites I really remember going to with that
Heaven's Gate website. Remember that that Yeah, we creepy ball
guy Apple White or whatever his name was, sneakers. Yeah, dude,
let me let me. I think that website still up too,
if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, dude, the website still up
exactly as it was.
Speaker 2: Cork AI stands for actually Indian.
Speaker 1: Okay, thanks Mark, Uh, there's yeah, this is the original
right alert, right alert. Isn't that wild alert?
Speaker 2: Red alert? Red alert?
Speaker 1: They even had a logo like a fancy logo. As
was promised, the keys to Heaven's Gate are here again
in t and Dough, the UFO two, as they were
in Jesus and his Father two thousand years ago.
Speaker 2: Alright, alright, congrats to you.
Speaker 1: Let's see if did you clarify your comment the guy
was telling us about whatever though, No, I don't see it.
All right, that's it, that's all we got.
Speaker 2: All right, guys, great show. Today's show word is stinky puss.
Stinky puss, Katy Perry, stinky puss by everybody. All right, guys,
have a great day.
Speaker 6: Christian