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Speaker 1: The best way to support this podcast is going to

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patreon dot com slash soft Core History, where every week

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you will get two additional episodes plus a three year

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evergreen back catalog of ad free content. Again, that is

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Patreon dot com slash Softcore History.

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Speaker 2: If you can't support us that way, please like and

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leave a review on Apple and Spotify and subscribe to

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our YouTube, YouTube dot com slash softcore History.

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Speaker 1: On today's soft Core History, we're talking about the father

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of history.

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Speaker 2: The man whose methods inspired this podcast.

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Speaker 1: Firing from the hip with historical events. Facts mean nothing. Well,

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I like to think he takes a fact and then,

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like us, just fills in the blanks to his heart's

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content make the story juicier. Today, of course we're talking

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about herodotus.

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Speaker 3: Into soft core History.

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Speaker 1: Put your zen end did get all zend up?

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Speaker 2: The cases are kind of annoying.

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Speaker 1: They call him Tucker carls In. Welcome back to Softcore History.

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I'm your host for the week, Damn Regester, joined as

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always by Rob Fox. What is that holiday season?

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Speaker 2: How it was two boys season?

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Speaker 1: Everyone's checked out?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I pulled a real uh not to sound like

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a cliche podcast where it's like check out what I

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did the other day. Listen to this is this wrong?

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Speaker 1: Here's a thing that happened in real life, right, But

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I really.

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Speaker 2: Pulled a piece of shit move last night. I went

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to a booze White Elephant and basically everyone maybe actually

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literally everyone brought nice booze and I grabbed a bottle

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that I've had in my cabinet for a year that

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I was never going to drink because it.

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Speaker 1: Would have been funnier if you grabbed like a plastic bottle, oh,

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like a pop up.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, that would almost be more respectable than.

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Speaker 1: What I do, or a bottle of Andre.

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Speaker 2: Again, more respectable than what I did, because Andre is

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more drinkable than what I gave these people.

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Speaker 1: What was it?

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Speaker 2: So? Courtney, before she got laid off, was like a

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writer for like a culture writer for like Western stuff

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or whatever, and she would get sent stuff from time

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to time, like Yellowstone sent her like gin for whatever reason,

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in like a packet, like a press package or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Everyone has their own alcohol at this point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but so like this was just a gin from Montana,

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But I was like, why aren't you sitting bourbon? Or

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what the fuck? Anyway, for whatever reason, one of the

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press packets she got had a bottle of Proper twelve

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in it.

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Speaker 1: Con Connor McGregor Proper twelve whiskey, the fucking lad. But

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it was not regular proper twelve. It was apple flavored

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proper twet of whiskey. Yikes.

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Speaker 2: Just an absolute dog shit bottle of alcohol.

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Speaker 1: What's more distasteful the charges against Connor McGregor or his actual.

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Speaker 2: So I tried it last night because the guy was

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walking around like after he got it, got stuck with it.

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Speaker 1: He was like, who the fuck brought this? Who the

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fuck brought this? And I was like, oh, I'll be honest,

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that's me.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry. I it was a regift that came to

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us somehow. He was like making everyone walk around drinking.

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I was like, I'll take a big poll of it, dude,

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I apologize, and I like just like took the ball.

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He was like, take the bottles, Like yeah. I was like,

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I know, I'm a piece of shit. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 1: He was like, what, it doesn't matter. He don't have

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to admit he was the one in the rock.

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Speaker 2: I felt that. That's how bad I felt. Also, because

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he bought, uh, he brought a huge thing of Buffalo

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trace bourbon brought like a nice bourbon, so I was

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just like, yeah, I'll take a big pole.

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Speaker 1: It tasted like shit that you wouldn't even like. You

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would get fucked up on it once in high school

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and then it would make you puke and you wouldn't

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drink you would swear it off.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, for the next fucking fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: Tell that story to your kids.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: It was fucking It was fucking awful. It was some

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of the worst liquor I ever.

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Speaker 2: I would have rather just had a straight shot out

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of a plastic bottle of like McCormick's.

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Speaker 1: Whiskey helped Connor buy a yacht.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't anyway. It's more distasteful than his sexual assault charges, right,

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without question.

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, you no good keep winning. Yeah, but anyway,

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very Christmas. That's my little Christmas story for this year.

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I went to a Christmas bar where you had to

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buy tickets to get in, hm, you know, cover charge,

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and then every Roosevelt's, every drink was twenty five dollars.

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It was eleanor next to it. Oh well yeah, okay,

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so Miracle and Fifth Avenue, and I mean it was good.

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Drinks are cool.

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Speaker 2: It was chill twenty five dollars, but uh yeah.

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Speaker 1: After every drink, I'm like, oh, wow, yeah, thanks for

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the twenty five dollars.

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Speaker 2: I'll have another twenty five dollars cider with bourbon in it. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: There's nothing worth twenty five dollars to drink.

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Speaker 2: Not at that bar. Really nowhere, but not especially not

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at that bar. No, I'll drink maybe like the world's

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greatest margarita if it's in like a fish bowl.

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Speaker 1: It's funny. The girl's card next to me got declined.

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Oh she was holding up the line. I was like, Oh,

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this is a mega tough scene for you.

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Speaker 2: That's rough. That's rough.

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Speaker 1: He's like, are you sure you tried it again? Like, yeah,

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tonight's not going through.

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Speaker 2: The sweeth hat when we were out, when we were out

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with a listener or when I was out with the listener.

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He uh, my card wasn't declined, but it was like

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physically broken and it wouldn't swipe, and they're like, your

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card's declined. I'm like, it's not declined, it's just not

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going through because it's falling apart and I'm waiting for

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a new one in the mail. And he was like, God,

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damn I guess your podcast not making very much money.

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I was like, he just paid for me, please, and.

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Speaker 1: We don't we don't make that much money. Now, please

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subscribe to our paton self for history. Today, we're actually

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gonna do an episode suggested by a listener okay, on

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the discord. Not because I'm lazy.

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Speaker 2: I didn't say lazy. He said this. He said the

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soft mic too. He's like, I'm not lazy. I just well,

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you know, thought i'd give him a.

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Speaker 1: Give him a shout out, but also to promote the

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Patreon patreon dot com slash softcore history, where you get

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two aditional episodes and you get to join the discord

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and potentially suggest an episode that we do on Mike.

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Speaker 2: I might even pop in there from time to time.

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Speaker 1: I'm there usually daily robs there bi monthly.

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Speaker 2: Hm, I mean my bo when I'm feeling extra lonely,

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when I've run out of good tiktoks while I'm pooping.

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Speaker 1: So Shouste Brody nineteen twelve. On the Discord Today, we're

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going to talk about Herodotus okay, the historian, the father

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of history, yeah, whereas others put it the father of lies.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, but like I love the way he lies,

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because he's just like there were exactly three hundred and

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eighteen thy two hundred and nine Persian soldiers. But you

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know what I mean, Like he just it's such obvious lies.

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But not to the people at the time, I guess,

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or maybe maybe it was even then.

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Speaker 1: Been on a re rekick. You love the way he lies?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Is that what you're listening to on the way here?

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Speaker 2: I mean, listen to whatever the radio plays me.

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Speaker 1: He was criticized in ancient times, so even for the time,

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they're like, dude, they criticize them for fluffing his accounts

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and making them more legend than truth. So he was

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Graham Handcock in his honor. I will do the same

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throughout the episode. Hell yeah, since most of his life

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has documented through his own works. In the much later

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Byzantine is it suda?

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Speaker 2: Huh?

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Speaker 1: The Suda in the tenth century. I don't even know

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the encyclopedia that the Byzantines do. Sure, I've never heard

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of it, So I never heard it pronounced. It's s

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u d a setta suda.

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Speaker 2: Suit is fine.

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Speaker 1: So the Byzantine Suda, which was the tenth century encyclopedia

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of the ancient Mediterranean world. Everything we get into this

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episode is stone cold fact. So it's either written by

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him about his own life or this thing that was

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fucking a thousand years later.

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Speaker 2: So what I like about this though, this is like

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the Graham Hancock problem, right, because if you read actual

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historians when they write stuff that's not like a book,

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because a book, they'll they'll at least try to be

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a little entertaining, even if they're relatively rigid to their craft,

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which is to not make necessarily definitive answers unless you

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like know something for sure. But like if you just

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read like offhanded history and stuff, like if you read

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like the Reddit thread ask historians where his like actual

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historians will answer questions and site sources and shit like that,

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every fucking line is just like a hedge cause they're

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just like we don't really know or like you know

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what I mean to know, like it maybe it's impossible

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to say like every single thing, and it's like so unfulfilling.

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So it makes sense to me that a history that,

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like some historians would get popular like Graham Hancock and

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before if they're just making wild ass statements and they're

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just like prove me wrong.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of like being a scientist as well. There's

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not a whole lot of wins and science.

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Speaker 2: Oh so yeah, with science and history. If someone is

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saying something definitive and it's not like basic because it's

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always a theory, yeah, if it's not.

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Speaker 1: Ever, it is never fact in science.

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Speaker 2: In science, it's literally never fact. Is highest like pretty much.

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I guess like Earth' gravitational pull, it would be a fact, right,

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would be a scientific fact like that what it is?

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Speaker 1: It's the theory of gravity.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but like unless in history, like unless it's something

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like George Washington was the first president, Like it's beyond

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like stuff like that, like once you start getting into

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the weeds, like it's all like pretty speculative. But was

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he But what technically? No, I think there's like a

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kind of a guy during the revolution. I forget, I

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don't and I don't care.

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Speaker 1: Seems like an overset on our part that we haven't

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done an episode on him yet.

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Speaker 2: You know, I don't believe he was. Off the top

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of my head, I don't ever remember hearing anything interesting

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about him beyond like fun fact this random asshole was

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in charge for a little bit.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Well, Unlike Homer or Virgil, Herodotus does not attribute

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and he divined sources to his work and credits only

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his eyewitness testimonies or second retellings from locals. Okay, so

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a lot of the stuff that he's kind of credited

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for too is the the invasion of the Greek world

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by the Persians, so from like four ninety BC to

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four eighty. He's born in forty five.

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Speaker 2: He actually wrote three hundred. Yeah, he did, honestly. If

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you want to know what a Herodotus story is, like,

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he wrote the script for zacks n I just watched

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three hundred. Three hundred is written by Herodotus more or

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less like no joke, Yeah, Like it's.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because he would often kind of cite the numbers

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and battles and be like, oh, yeah, the Greek's only

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lost like one hundred and seventy dudes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, when you hear about like the Persians having a

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million men from a craft, I love the The narration

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in three hundred is my favorite part where it's just like.

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Speaker 3: And he have homosexuals and browns descended upon Greece.

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Speaker 2: I love that movie.

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Speaker 1: I know, and the Greeks often try to take credit

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to for teaching the Persians like homo erotic behavior.

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Speaker 2: Oh, they tried to be like we do. We taught

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them what like this greatest sex of all is they.

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Speaker 1: Were trying to say that, which is dudes, Herodotus Actually

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he writes down that Greeks at one point taught Persians

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how to have sex with children. So, I mean, I

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don't know if that's something you want to own.

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Speaker 2: I don't, Yeah, I don't, uh don't necessary or first off,

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I don't think the Persians needed a lesson.

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Speaker 1: No, I think they were ahead of the lesson at

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the very least on pace with anyone else. They had

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their own eunuch boys and whatever. Writing was invented in

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like three thousand dish pc. Fucking kids was invented when

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penises were day one. Oh that's a fucking tragic, tragic truth.

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Speaker 2: Really is so about five hundred thousand years before writing.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's horrifying when you look how many pedophiles are today,

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but honestly, it's the safest time to be a child.

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There's there's never been a safe close look at those maps,

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just full of red dots.

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Speaker 2: It is a red dot.

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Speaker 1: Though criticized for certain inaccuracies, and contradictions, most of his

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work is still considered reliable. In the author's mission statement

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in his prologue of his nine volume work, The Histories,

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was to preserve the memory of the past by putting

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on record the accomplishments of Greeks and non Greeks alike

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and the conflicts that divide them.

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Speaker 2: So that's one thing that always cracks me up. Like,

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even if it's like pretty full of shit, if it

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was written by a person in a time that it

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is not now, it's a historical document. So like my

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favorite thing is when like you'll get sort of like

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an idiot liberal person basically being like, you're bad of bullshit.

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It's not real. It's not a historical document, and like

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you know, it's literally a historical document.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's it's written thousands of years.

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Speaker 2: It's literally a historical document.

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Speaker 1: It might not be true, but here's the thing. The

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stories might be like mythology, but it's still historical. It's historical,

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and there's literally in the myth by the definition. Yeah,

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like there's like you.

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Speaker 2: Wouldn't because it's funny because that same person will be like, oh, yeah,

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you can learn a lot about ancient Babylon from the

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epic of Gilgamesh. It's like, oh, yeah, where he's like

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fighting dragons and shit or whatever whatever the fuck he

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does in that. Yeah, that's fake too, Like you didn't

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fight a dragon, but you learn a lot about like

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the culture and what people valued and all the type.

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So like it's just like the it's just like the

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lame as dunk.

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Speaker 1: Well, he had advanced tech from the Annachi.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, he was an Ananochi prince.

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Speaker 1: He was the one that documented the battles of Marathon, Salamis,

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and Thermopoli and the entire Persian invasion of the Greek

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world between four ninety and forty ady BC.

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Speaker 2: Could could one pause it that Herodotus is the inventor

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of the marathon?

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Speaker 1: Do we blame Herodotus for the creation of the running hobby?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I'm serious. Is there any other account other than

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Herodotus that has that guy running and then dropping fucking dead?

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Speaker 1: Mm?

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Speaker 2: Because if there's not, then Herodotus a probably made that

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up because it's too good of a story and b

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is to blame for marathons.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I'm already gonna give vout our hitler of

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the week. Rotis was born in four eighty five in

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the Anatolian city. I think it's halicarter Nassas. Okay, it's

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a fucking mouthful.

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Speaker 2: I've conquered it many a time in Rome. Total war.

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Speaker 1: Easy to take.

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Speaker 2: Uh yeah, it depends on when you get there.

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Speaker 1: When's an easier time to take it.

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Speaker 2: Like earlier in the game. So if you're a civilist,

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if you're a sieve, that's closer to it, like at

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the beginning of the Like if you're I think it

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starts out as a Greek city. But if you're you know,

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not the Ponics. But if you're like the Roman broody

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eye faction whatever, not that bad, not that hard.

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Speaker 1: He was Greek educated, and because he had a bit

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of a ceiling when it comes to power in politics

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because they were Persian ruled, he turned literature and was

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well versed in the Iliad and Odyssey.

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Speaker 2: By the way, two things that also are mostly full

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of shit, but are historical documents. Less full of shit

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than we thought originally, because they did eventually find Troy.

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Speaker 1: Did we find the woman they fought over.

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Speaker 2: Helen the Bones? Yeah, they found it. They're like, whoa,

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she was hot. Yeah, we just did a three D

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remapping of her total would Yeah, it's actually just Sidney

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Sweeney did well.

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Speaker 1: If you look at the internet this week, people are like,

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did catfish Sidney Sweeney? Mid as?

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Speaker 2: Fuck those pictures too, by the way, where a she

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looked awesome still but she's still great. It was just

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like catching her at unflattering angles as she was walking

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right in.

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Speaker 1: A bikini when she was probably she probably just ate

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or had.

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Speaker 2: No makeup on. Yeah, but it was like you you

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can make anyone like, she's not posing, walking like a human.

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Speaker 1: I don't think people grasp that fitness is ninety percent lighting. Yeah,

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Like I'm actually yoked, but you can't tell it's bad lighting.

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Speaker 2: There's some mirrors where I look at my house where

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I'm like, damn and that Like I'll walk from my

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brightly lit bathroom and be like and then go into

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my bedroom with better lighting and be like, what up, dude.

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Speaker 1: His cousin and poet Piasis was executed for his part,

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and he failed coup to overthrow the city government. When

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Erodotus was around thirty, he saw the writing on the

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wall and it was probably best he left before losing

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his own head, and that's when his travels really started.

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So Herodotus went on to travel Asia Minor European Greece.

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He would kind of go back and forth. He claims

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to have visited the Persian capital of Susa, Babylon, Tire, Palestine,

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and had a prolonged stay in Egypt.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all the good stuff.

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Speaker 1: However, modern historians kind of call us okay because with

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an example of some of his write in, they're like,

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all right, this is how we discrib his Babylon. First,

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there runs around it a deep and broad trench full

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of water. Then a wall fifty meters in thickness and

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one hundred meters in height. At the top of the wall,

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along the edges they built chambers of one story facing

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one another, and between the rows the chambers they left

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space to drive a four horse chariot. In the circuit

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of the wall, there are set a hundred gates made

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of bronze. Now, archaeologists have uncovered Babylon a little bit

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and they're like, there was nowhere near one hundred gates.

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Speaker 2: There's none of what he's describing here. There was eight gates.

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Speaker 1: It was much smaller than anything he described, right, And

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it's been determined that this was probably because he just

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took somebody's word for it, Yeah, and didn't visit.

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Speaker 2: It, just interviewed someone.

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Speaker 1: Yep, didn't. He just believed him for verbatim.

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Speaker 2: Or that guy told him that the city was awesome

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but gave him a more accurate description, and Herodotus just

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juiced it up.

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Speaker 1: That could also be the case, but what's pretty much

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understood is he probably never went to Babylon. Herotus' personality

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comes through quite often in the pages of his works.

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A reader understands that one is hearing from an individual

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with certain taste and interest, and that the author considers

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what he has to say is important enough to require

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no explanation, qualification, or apology for perceived inaccuracies.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, that's another thing that's fun with writing is

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that he probably assumes that his audience. He's not writing

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for people two thousand years in the future. No, he's

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writing for people when he's alive. And there's things that

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his audience would understand implicitly.

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Speaker 1: If he felt like including something, he would and he

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never seen the care if the reader's found fault with it.

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Speaker 2: Hell yeah, I actually saw something the other day about Shakespeare.

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About Shakespeare has a lot of like I guess what

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you would call pop culture references in Shakespeare, No doubt.

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Speaker 1: He was actually the original Bill Simmons. It was like, yeah,

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it was crazy.

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Speaker 2: It was like the guy was talking about how like Shakespeare,

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like people in Shakespeare's time were probably going to plays

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with the frequency that maybe people would go to movies

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in the nineties. You know what I mean.

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Speaker 1: Shakespeare's actually just like I think Duke should pay for

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their own fucking castles.

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Speaker 2: But he was just like, you would reference other shit,

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So it would almost be like.

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Speaker 1: Uh, both weirdly mentioned nine oh two one oh yeah,

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so much good.

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Speaker 2: But it would be the equivalent of like, there were

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conversations in Shakespeare that would be like, I guess a

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good example would be, uh, at the beginning of Reservoir Dogs,

396
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when Quentin Tarantina is like breaking down like a virgin

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m hm, he would have like, there's like shit like

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that in some of his work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, why wouldn't there be?

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Speaker 2: Right exactly, So when you think about Shakespeare, just say oh,

401
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timeless blah blah, like he there's it's literally impossible to

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not reference shit in the time you're a that is,

403
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people won't understand it.

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Speaker 1: Evergreen content, Yeah, no, no such thing, no such thing,

405
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but we try. We trip up a lot, a lot.

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Speaker 2: It's like talking about Sidney Sweeney's viral photos from a

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day ago.

408
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Speaker 1: Listen, she's a genie right now and a soap commercial.

409
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She can do whatever the fuck she wants, all right,

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I would, I would fight for Sidney Sweeney. She could

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be our helen.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't. Yes, she is a she is one of

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our helens.

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Speaker 1: You're telling me if like Syria, like the rebels in

415
00:20:31,039 --> 00:20:34,039
Syria took her hostage, that wouldn't get a bunch of

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dudes to sign up in the US moment.

417
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Speaker 2: I feel like I wouldn't need to volunteer to go

418
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:42,359
get her back from Syria. Now China, like Xijen Jingping

419
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steals her and hides her in the Forbidden City. Yes,

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00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,039
we're gonna have to volunteer.

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Speaker 1: Right, You're right. There is mention that he goes back

422
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to his hometown to lead a successful rebellion of the Persians,

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but despite his contributions of the coup, his work was

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not well received by his hometown peers, so around four

425
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:09,000
forty seven BC, he established his base in Athens. Like

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any good Greek man, it's.

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Speaker 2: A place it's the New York of the Hellenistic world,

428
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you know what I mean. It's where the artists go,

429
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It's where the knowledge is, it's where the money is.

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Speaker 1: His historical work was originally presented orally and was created

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to have an almost theatrical element to it. So he

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was a performer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's Graham Hancock.

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Speaker 1: His subject matter often encompassed battles, political struggles, and a

435
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,960
discovery of foreign lands and people. He would go on tour.

436
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Speaker 2: So he just had a history podcast.

437
00:21:39,839 --> 00:21:41,559
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was the original history podcast.

438
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Speaker 2: Yeah. Sweet, and honestly, we operate with about the accuracy

439
00:21:48,559 --> 00:21:49,200
of Herodotus.

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Speaker 1: So he go to all the major Greek cities, any

441
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religious or athletic festival, the Olympics where you'd offer up

442
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performances in return for He refused to read his book

443
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to the crowd until there was ample cloud cover to

444
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shade him on his platform.

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Speaker 2: What a diva.

446
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Speaker 1: He's a high man and I liked it. He had

447
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demand he had cloud.

448
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Speaker 2: Cover on his rider.

449
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Speaker 1: Yeah, like he's like, I will not perform into the clouds.

450
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Speaker 2: Cover the bloody clouds. I ain't covering him, studge, or

451
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,759
I do think it is funny to me just in general,

452
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how much more emotional people men used to be. Especially

453
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back then, we would just express We would just like

454
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cry tears of joy at like things that were exciting

455
00:22:34,519 --> 00:22:36,960
or beautiful or I mean, I probably cry if I

456
00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:38,640
watched mis Zoo win a national championship.

457
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Speaker 1: When's the last time he cried, even cried your wedding.

458
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Speaker 2: No, probably like got pretty choked up at the birth

459
00:22:49,279 --> 00:22:49,720
of Rory.

460
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Speaker 1: But even then, you're like, get it together, dude, Yeah,

461
00:22:53,640 --> 00:22:57,000
you gotta show this young lad what a man is

462
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out the gate. He can't know a week man.

463
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Speaker 2: No, he can't. That's why I fought a nurse immediately

464
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,839
they kicked you out of the er whole hospital. Yeah,

465
00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,400
Corney had to go home that afternoon, which was pretty mad.

466
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Speaker 1: In four point thirty one BC, the Papnesian War broke

467
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:21,440
out between Athens and Sparta, and it may been this

468
00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:25,880
war that inspired Herottus to collect the stories into a

469
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:30,200
continuous narrative. He wrote it between four thirty and four

470
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,319
to twenty five PC. The histories were divided by later

471
00:23:34,519 --> 00:23:38,599
editors into nine books. The first six books dealt broadly

472
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:43,079
with the growth of the Persian Empire. The second book

473
00:23:43,200 --> 00:23:47,359
forms a lengthy digression concerning the history of Egypt. The

474
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,640
following four books deal with the further growth of the

475
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:56,480
Empire under Darius, the ionin revolt, and the burning of Sardis.

476
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:03,079
The sixth book describes the very first Persian invasion into Greece,

477
00:24:03,279 --> 00:24:06,680
an attack upon those who aided the ionins in a

478
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:11,640
quest for retribution, following the attack upon Serratus, which ended

479
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:13,680
with the defeat of the Persians m Four to ninety

480
00:24:13,799 --> 00:24:16,200
BC at the Battle of Marathon.

481
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:20,519
Speaker 2: Where he invented running twenty six miles exactly.

482
00:24:21,279 --> 00:24:24,079
Speaker 1: The last three books describe the attempt of the Persian

483
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:28,000
king Xerxes to avenge the Persian defeat at Marathon and

484
00:24:28,079 --> 00:24:31,960
to finally absorb Greece into the Empire. The histories ends

485
00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:34,799
in the year four to seventy nine, with the Persian

486
00:24:34,839 --> 00:24:38,559
invaders having suffered both a Crushian naval defeat at Salamis

487
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:44,240
and near annihilation of their ground forces at Plateaea. The

488
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:48,920
Persian Empire thus receded into the Asia Minor.

489
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,839
Speaker 2: And now, if I can just read a passage from

490
00:24:52,119 --> 00:24:59,599
Herodotus about Xerxes, he was a twink that stewed to

491
00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:06,640
eight feet tall, the largest twink in all of THEA that's.

492
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:07,400
Speaker 1: All good, okay.

493
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 2: I just like I just want to do my three

494
00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,240
voice all the time because the.

495
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,599
Speaker 1: Clip did okay last time.

496
00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,240
Speaker 2: We oh yeah, the other one. I can just do

497
00:25:15,279 --> 00:25:16,680
all the three hundred, three hundred.

498
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,079
Speaker 1: Voices are very He should just have you act out

499
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:19,440
three hundred. Yeah, I will, I'll do.

500
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,079
Speaker 2: I will just perform three hundred for memory, like.

501
00:25:22,119 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 1: You're Adam Sandler doing all the roles or Rob Schneider.

502
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 2: He was constantly lubricated.

503
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: There has been debate concerning the accuracy of his tales and,

504
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,359
more importantly, his role in creating the fabrications. Some argue

505
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,240
he was devious and conscious of his fictions, and others

506
00:25:41,559 --> 00:25:45,079
just think he was a gullible moron, misleading or misled

507
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:45,960
by his horses.

508
00:25:46,279 --> 00:25:51,079
Speaker 2: I know, I don't think he was a moron. There's

509
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:53,720
just too many good entertainment choices.

510
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: All the statues of him too make him jacked pretty

511
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:01,000
cool where they built while he was alive, I don't think.

512
00:26:01,039 --> 00:26:03,079
Speaker 2: So, Okay, that's funny. Well maybe that's just like a

513
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:05,400
Greek thing. Have you ever seen like literally other than

514
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,720
like maybe Dionysus, which I can't remember, Like there's.

515
00:26:09,519 --> 00:26:12,759
Speaker 1: A statue of him like current dang Turkey Okay, and

516
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,480
yeah he's like he's got fucking bicyle.

517
00:26:14,519 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, his hometown is in Turkey. Yeah yeah, I mean,

518
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,559
but have you ever seen a fat ancient Greek statue,

519
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,400
like just a plump man.

520
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:25,000
Speaker 1: Was there such a thing as a fat man other

521
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:29,720
than Socrates? I yeah, Socrates was still a fucking unit,

522
00:26:29,839 --> 00:26:32,319
like he was a I guess he was regarded as

523
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,480
one of the better warriors too.

524
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:38,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean there was a like depressingly there's a

525
00:26:39,319 --> 00:26:41,480
photo I saw from the nineteen thirties that was like

526
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,839
fattest men in the World Club Babe Ruth was a

527
00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,599
fat man, and yeah, it was like pretty like guys

528
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:51,519
who were like, oh that looks like my dad, you

529
00:26:51,599 --> 00:26:52,839
know what I mean? Why they weren't that.

530
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:55,559
Speaker 1: Fat even in the nineties. George castanz is a fat guy,

531
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:56,799
was he?

532
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,839
Speaker 2: He's not that fat though, No, he's mostly just stocky

533
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:03,200
and bald. Yeah, he's supposed to be a bald fat man,

534
00:27:03,279 --> 00:27:05,240
but he's in It's also depressing that he's like in

535
00:27:05,319 --> 00:27:08,160
his thirties basically throughout that show where it's like that's

536
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:10,759
I remember like watching Seinfeld being like man that once

537
00:27:10,799 --> 00:27:13,799
you're in your thirties, you are old as fuck. You

538
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:14,960
are a dead person.

539
00:27:15,079 --> 00:27:17,839
Speaker 1: Basically, we're gonna go through some of his best hits

540
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:24,279
of proven lies. In book three, he claims the huge

541
00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,599
furry ants the size of foxes lived in Persia and

542
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:31,599
spread golden particles of dust as they dug into the

543
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:37,359
sandy ground. Uh. Yeah, they probably weren't fox sized ants,

544
00:27:37,839 --> 00:27:39,480
because if there were, there.

545
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 2: Wouldn't be people.

546
00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: That would be terrifying.

547
00:27:42,559 --> 00:27:46,960
Speaker 2: That's like you have to find where they live and

548
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:51,359
just pour I guess Greek fire baby wasn't inventity yet,

549
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:53,519
but you gotta pour some kind of like poisoned. I

550
00:27:53,559 --> 00:27:56,160
mean they had poison back then. Just fill buckets and

551
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,240
buckets of water with whatever poison you think will kill

552
00:27:59,279 --> 00:28:02,640
an ant at that and yet doesn't matter how many

553
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,119
slaves die from the poison fumes, Like, you just got

554
00:28:05,279 --> 00:28:08,039
to do it. If there's ants the size of foxes.

555
00:28:08,960 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 1: Now, there were not ants that dug up gold out

556
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,240
of the sand, but large squirrels named marmots.

557
00:28:15,799 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 2: Okay, so he just called them ants.

558
00:28:18,519 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: No, no, he claimed to have seen the ants, but

559
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:26,720
check it out. This was probably just a little uh

560
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,359
lost in translation moment from him, what do you mean

561
00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,519
he heard the story from a couple of Persians. He

562
00:28:33,559 --> 00:28:36,000
didn't actually see it right, He tried to say he did.

563
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,960
And because the word was so closely associated with the

564
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:44,799
word for ant as this like giant squirrel thing, he

565
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:47,720
got that mixed up. So he reported it as ants.

566
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:52,880
Speaker 2: It's a better story, right then, mammals than some just

567
00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,680
weird fox sized fox.

568
00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,799
Speaker 1: I think he literally just got the translation wrong.

569
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,400
Speaker 2: Oh and he thought that they were just giant ants.

570
00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,519
He thought there was just that makes that tracks too,

571
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,519
because the way and we actually.

572
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 1: Talk about this in the episode that I wrote that

573
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:09,599
we're recording today but will not be airing for a

574
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,079
week or two.

575
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:16,119
Speaker 2: Just people back then viewed the East as like crazy.

576
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:17,119
Speaker 1: We still do.

577
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 2: We still do, I would say, but like yeah, yeah,

578
00:29:19,839 --> 00:29:22,920
just like all the craziest stuff is over there, like

579
00:29:23,039 --> 00:29:24,839
it's barely Earth type of thing.

580
00:29:25,519 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: You're in another realm. Yeah, Mortal Kombat kinda.

581
00:29:30,559 --> 00:29:36,119
Speaker 2: I mean Mortal Kombat does have Eastern vibes. Yeah, so same.

582
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:38,079
Speaker 1: I don't know the total war, but you're in this

583
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,920
like just middle Land, right.

584
00:29:41,519 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 2: I couldn't tell you where it was. There's like different

585
00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:46,039
people from all different.

586
00:29:45,799 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 1: It's between Earth, and I think that under realms, that's

587
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:52,079
how they get to have their Mortal Kombat tournament and

588
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:52,680
people fight.

589
00:29:52,799 --> 00:29:56,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, people from all different realms like do Mortal Kombat.

590
00:29:56,680 --> 00:30:01,599
Speaker 1: He also references in book three and four to cyclopses.

591
00:30:02,559 --> 00:30:07,559
Speaker 2: Now this one can be excused, I.

592
00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 1: Think, Well, let me finish it up. Oka He claimed

593
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,160
that these cyclops is he was obsessed with gold for

594
00:30:16,240 --> 00:30:20,440
some reason, stole gold from Griffins in northern Europe.

595
00:30:20,759 --> 00:30:24,839
Speaker 2: Okay, again, the Romans were even like we talked about this,

596
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:27,240
like they get up to Germany and they're like, that's

597
00:30:27,319 --> 00:30:30,839
the darkest fucking forest I've ever seen in my life. Whatever,

598
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:34,519
I will believe that anything lives in there. And they didn't.

599
00:30:34,559 --> 00:30:36,799
Even the Greeks didn't even get that far really as

600
00:30:36,839 --> 00:30:39,079
far as I know, Like they probably didn't get north

601
00:30:39,119 --> 00:30:43,440
of like Bulgaria or something like that, like the Scythians

602
00:30:43,519 --> 00:30:50,359
or whatever they're in like Romania, Bulgaria, like southeastern Europe, Yugoslavia,

603
00:30:50,559 --> 00:30:56,480
former Yugoslavia type of situation, so even below Poland Germany

604
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:00,279
type of type of areas. So, but also have you

605
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:04,039
seen the like I heard about, like how ancient Greeks

606
00:31:04,039 --> 00:31:06,119
would discover mammoth skulls.

607
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:08,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it looked like you talked about on the show.

608
00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,920
It's just because like the eye socket is one.

609
00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,599
Speaker 2: Something like that. Yeah, but it looked like the skull

610
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:19,839
looks like a cyclop skull, so fair enough given the

611
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:20,880
information they had.

612
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:25,000
Speaker 1: He also claimed that timid creatures frequently gave birth to

613
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:27,880
multiple babies so that some would survive. You know, that

614
00:31:28,039 --> 00:31:30,440
logic kind of checks out because most of the days

615
00:31:30,559 --> 00:31:34,440
be killed by predators, and that harsh creatures like lions

616
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:38,079
only conceived once a lifetime because they're less likely to

617
00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:41,200
be killed and therefore not in danger to go extinct.

618
00:31:42,519 --> 00:31:46,480
Speaker 2: But lions do have more than one right, Yeah, yeah,

619
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:47,640
they have like litters or whatever.

620
00:31:47,759 --> 00:31:49,039
Speaker 1: He was just kind of making it up.

621
00:31:49,039 --> 00:31:51,720
Speaker 2: I mean, he's right about the timid ones. Like there's

622
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:53,440
a reason that rabbits fuck.

623
00:31:53,319 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 1: Like rabbits to keep the species gone.

624
00:31:55,799 --> 00:31:58,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a it's a numbers game for a lot

625
00:31:58,279 --> 00:31:58,759
of those things.

626
00:31:58,839 --> 00:32:01,839
Speaker 1: He also said that lions cub fetuses use their sharp

627
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,319
claws to scratch at their mother's womb, scratching more and

628
00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:08,880
more until they're born. The lioness can supposedly only give

629
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,599
birth once because her womb is so mangled and scratched

630
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:15,799
up the pieces that they could not give birth to another.

631
00:32:16,319 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 2: That's really funny. I mean he is just heat checking

632
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:21,759
on that, Like he's just like, who's gonna who's gonna

633
00:32:21,759 --> 00:32:23,640
prove me wrong? You can't.

634
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 1: Now, the histories was criticized for bias and accuracy, even plagiarism.

635
00:32:29,359 --> 00:32:33,039
Speaker 2: It's like people at the time are like, that's obviously bullshit.

636
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:35,279
I mean, maybe the line thing's true. I don't know.

637
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:38,160
I literally can't prove you wrong on that. But like

638
00:32:38,839 --> 00:32:42,000
I know for a fact, no one ran from marathon

639
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,400
to like I was there. No one ran and dropped dead.

640
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:46,200
Speaker 1: I was.

641
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 2: I was part of the people who received the news.

642
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,519
Speaker 1: And open toad shoes.

643
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:55,319
Speaker 2: Right, It's like that didn't happen, just like, yeah, we'll see,

644
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,079
we'll see what stands to test the time. Fuck you.

645
00:32:58,359 --> 00:33:01,079
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was more criticized honestly then than he is now.

646
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,599
Speaker 2: Because we know he's full of shit. Now there's no

647
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:04,559
nothing to criticize.

648
00:33:04,640 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 1: Well, many modern historians and philosophizers see his methodology in

649
00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:12,599
a more positive light, and he's a pioneer of relatively

650
00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:18,599
objective historical writing based on source materials. Yeah, despite his

651
00:33:19,079 --> 00:33:25,599
colorful distractions and his informality of style. Herodotus remains the

652
00:33:25,759 --> 00:33:27,440
authority in the Great Persian War.

653
00:33:28,119 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 2: I mean, at least he wrote it down. And I

654
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:34,680
will say this too. Think about this if you want

655
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,400
a good example of how how counts of history work

656
00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:44,240
or whatever. Remember when we were like high schoolers, I

657
00:33:44,279 --> 00:33:47,039
don't know what. Like, So there's some things that like

658
00:33:47,200 --> 00:33:50,920
really nailed, like the experience of a high schooler in

659
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:53,039
a certain era, like super Bad I think did a

660
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:56,640
very good job. But there's a lot of shows or

661
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,880
movies I should say shows too, but movies about like

662
00:34:00,559 --> 00:34:04,200
kids in a certain era, like high being a high

663
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,640
schooler or whatever in a certain era where when you

664
00:34:06,759 --> 00:34:09,519
watched it at the time, you were like, dude, that's

665
00:34:09,559 --> 00:34:12,119
fucking not at all, Like who fucking wrote this? Like

666
00:34:12,199 --> 00:34:13,840
as we're watching it's like a fourteen year old like,

667
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:16,119
this isn't what it's fucking like. But you look back

668
00:34:16,199 --> 00:34:19,880
on it now and you'll be like yeah. And then

669
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,159
you would look back you could watch something from before

670
00:34:22,199 --> 00:34:24,760
you were high school or at like fast times at

671
00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:27,159
Ridgemont High and just take that as like fucking fact

672
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,760
basically like yeah, that's what probably what it was. Like

673
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:31,559
in high school in the eighties. But I guarantee there

674
00:34:31,599 --> 00:34:34,400
people in high school in the eighties they were like what, no,

675
00:34:34,559 --> 00:34:37,079
like like most is bullshit, Like that's kind of true,

676
00:34:37,119 --> 00:34:38,000
but the rest what.

677
00:34:38,119 --> 00:34:40,159
Speaker 1: Did they say, Nostalgia is not what it used to be.

678
00:34:40,679 --> 00:34:43,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that. Yeah.

679
00:34:44,519 --> 00:34:47,519
Speaker 1: Discovery's made since the end of the nineteenth century have

680
00:34:47,599 --> 00:34:51,360
helped rehabilitate his reputation. There's been ancient cities in Egypt

681
00:34:52,199 --> 00:34:57,239
and recovery of things that he claimed were part of

682
00:34:57,320 --> 00:35:00,280
the Egyptian New Kingdom that he was doub it on

683
00:35:00,559 --> 00:35:03,599
in his time. So like he would report certain things

684
00:35:03,679 --> 00:35:07,360
that have now recently been uncovered and have credited him for,

685
00:35:07,559 --> 00:35:09,760
like the discovery. So he got the more things right

686
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:15,679
than not necessarily more things right, but he he had

687
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:16,480
some hits right.

688
00:35:16,599 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 2: Yeah.

689
00:35:16,800 --> 00:35:18,079
Speaker 1: It's like a conspiracy theorist.

690
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 2: You get a couple right, you get some credibility when

691
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:25,119
you realize you, well, that's the advantage of a conspiracy theorist, right,

692
00:35:25,199 --> 00:35:28,280
the bar is so low that you only need to

693
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,280
get a few things right and people will start being long. Well,

694
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:34,079
of God's pretty solid compared to other ones. It's like

695
00:35:34,119 --> 00:35:34,840
an angel of the story.

696
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,559
Speaker 1: You can miss as long as you get a couple right, right,

697
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:42,119
Why would you ever be a journalist? Just be exactly journalists.

698
00:35:42,159 --> 00:35:47,039
One thing wrong, career ruined, Yeah, conspiracy theorist, many things wrong,

699
00:35:47,559 --> 00:35:51,440
one thing right, not bad, not bad.

700
00:35:52,039 --> 00:35:53,559
Speaker 2: What do you wanted to bat a thousand?

701
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,559
Speaker 1: You're seeing through the mainstream bullshit.

702
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:02,599
Speaker 2: It Yeah. So the bar is just so low for

703
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:04,039
him that it's it is what it is. It's like

704
00:36:04,119 --> 00:36:07,320
the Bible. Honestly, it's the same thing. It's like there's

705
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:11,400
so much supernatural things in there that you don't that

706
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,719
when they nail something, you're like, oh, all right, Okay.

707
00:36:16,400 --> 00:36:19,039
Speaker 1: After traveling the world of his time, Herodotus came to

708
00:36:19,119 --> 00:36:22,320
live in the Greek colony of Thirty, where he edited

709
00:36:22,360 --> 00:36:27,719
and revised histories. Later in life, he also lived in Athens,

710
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,119
and at some point is thought is that's where he

711
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:36,719
returned and died of the plague sometime between four twenty

712
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:42,280
five and four thirteen BC. Of the plague, the Athenian plague.

713
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,440
Speaker 2: Oh okay, I didn't know it was like Babonic plague.

714
00:36:44,679 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 1: No Athenian plague that killed uh Percles okay, Pericles, Pericles, Yeah,

715
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:56,719
I should know that name. He's an Assassin's creed. Greek

716
00:36:56,800 --> 00:37:00,239
nams are actually not that hard either. I'm just stumbe.

717
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:04,679
Speaker 2: I feel like ancient Greek names are not that bad.

718
00:37:05,039 --> 00:37:09,360
It's when you get into like Byzantine medieval to modern

719
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:10,480
where it's like.

720
00:37:10,559 --> 00:37:12,119
Speaker 1: The cities though are mouthfuls.

721
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:17,599
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's like janis Apo right, Yeah, like that

722
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:21,360
is a that Gyannis's last name. That is the type

723
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,719
of Greek name I feel like from the Eastern Roman

724
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:29,559
Empire era on, but like ancient Greece, Yeah, like Pericles, Herodotus, even.

725
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,760
Speaker 1: Though we don't pronounce their names right, like Socrates I

726
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,719
think is like SoC whatever something like that.

727
00:37:35,159 --> 00:37:37,119
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck. Yeah yeah, but still though

728
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,639
you start adding a lot of vowels and syllables. There's

729
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:44,679
one girl I knew in college whose name whose last

730
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:47,039
name is god damn his name. Her first name is Artibis.

731
00:37:47,159 --> 00:37:48,800
She had a great, great Greek name.

732
00:37:48,920 --> 00:37:52,199
Speaker 1: What's crazier Greek class names or Polish last names?

733
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:57,199
Speaker 2: Uh? Polish because that's not even borderline remotely, like some

734
00:37:57,360 --> 00:38:01,159
Greek bleeds into English, right, nothing Polish? This is this

735
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:01,920
is her last name.

736
00:38:03,159 --> 00:38:05,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not a name. Those are just letters. That's

737
00:38:05,800 --> 00:38:06,320
the alphabet.

738
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:10,280
Speaker 2: Actually that's yeah, it's the whole fucking alphabet. Yeah, she

739
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,280
great girl, but uh, it was her name always cracked

740
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:14,880
me up because I was like, God, that's so Greek

741
00:38:15,599 --> 00:38:18,719
that it's so it's so Greek that it'd be like

742
00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:24,000
if I was named like Seamous mcwhiskey. Yeah, like it's

743
00:38:24,599 --> 00:38:25,760
it's fucking crazy.

744
00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, Giorgiao's fucking names insaney Greek. What's his

745
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:35,480
last name again, it's Nicholas Gregoris Gregoris. Oh yeah, that's

746
00:38:35,519 --> 00:38:38,119
rights called Nicholas Gregory's and it's Nicholas with no C.

747
00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 2: Right, is it just a K?

748
00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:40,559
Speaker 1: I think it's just a K?

749
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:44,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, n I K Yeah, Gregoris. That was easy.

750
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 1: Still, yeah, it's it should be more syllables.

751
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:53,039
Speaker 2: Actually, I'm not a tumpo. I will never get that

752
00:38:53,159 --> 00:38:53,559
name right.

753
00:38:54,119 --> 00:38:56,519
Speaker 1: I also just love that, like the ancient Greeks were

754
00:38:56,599 --> 00:38:58,760
one names. Yeah, a bunch of princes.

755
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 2: I mean even like Vikings were that way too. They

756
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:05,079
would their last name would just be their dad's name,

757
00:39:05,880 --> 00:39:08,119
their last name. They usually had last names, or they

758
00:39:08,199 --> 00:39:09,840
had like a thing that described them.

759
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:13,519
Speaker 1: It was leaf like Bjorn Ironside yeah, or but like

760
00:39:13,559 --> 00:39:16,960
a lot of it was like leif ericson, son of Eric.

761
00:39:17,119 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all it is.

762
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, still better. These guys have one names only.

763
00:39:22,559 --> 00:39:27,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what which Pericles? Which one? So many? So

764
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:30,760
many would be like rolling around you know the great Michael.

765
00:39:32,679 --> 00:39:37,119
Speaker 1: So that is kind of the overall story of the

766
00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:40,960
Father of History and the Father of lies, depending on

767
00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:45,639
your perspective. I mean the Father of History podcast.

768
00:39:46,119 --> 00:39:48,760
Speaker 2: Do you ever think to like, I think another way?

769
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: The original Dan Carlin, he is the he He was

770
00:39:51,599 --> 00:39:55,519
doing history podcasting code but live History podcast recording at

771
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:57,599
the Amphitheater had to wait for the cloud cover.

772
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:01,039
Speaker 2: Yeah, once the clouds set in, just do at night, asshole?

773
00:40:01,159 --> 00:40:05,599
What do you you a fire? You can light yourself,

774
00:40:06,599 --> 00:40:07,039
you light the.

775
00:40:07,039 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 1: Stage, light the giant ants on fire.

776
00:40:09,079 --> 00:40:12,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. It is another thing too. That herodotus that probably

777
00:40:12,679 --> 00:40:16,639
pissed people off at the time was do you ever

778
00:40:16,679 --> 00:40:24,199
think about how I guess you'll see like maybe someone

779
00:40:24,239 --> 00:40:26,960
you play. I guess athletes don't really work because everyone

780
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:29,119
that played with a pro athlete is like, yeah, he

781
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:31,400
was goddamn insane when he was in eighth grade. But

782
00:40:31,519 --> 00:40:33,119
if you like, I guarantee you there's a lot of

783
00:40:33,159 --> 00:40:36,400
people who knew like famous artists and stuff who were

784
00:40:36,519 --> 00:40:38,320
just like, I mean they were fine, or like a

785
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:41,039
famous comedian, you're like, yeah, like I was like never

786
00:40:41,199 --> 00:40:43,559
really funny, like I never never made me laugh when

787
00:40:43,559 --> 00:40:45,679
I like talked to him or whatever. Right, and it's

788
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:48,880
just like weird that and like you're definitely like there

789
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,719
are people who a like, yeah, there's funnier people than him.

790
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:54,440
Speaker 1: Oh fuck is that guy? Yeah that's horotesis right. Like

791
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:56,920
people at the time are like this guy suck like

792
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:01,400
sound like he has guys so mad, but now they

793
00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:05,320
directed statues apt like post mortem. But yeah, he wasn't

794
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,480
like super welcomed in his town, even though he allegedly

795
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:10,119
helped save it with the revolt.

796
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, or like how many people do you think knew

797
00:41:13,199 --> 00:41:15,719
like Elvis before he was famous and we're like he's whatever,

798
00:41:16,639 --> 00:41:20,440
Kirk Obain, oh man. Once you get into the nineties

799
00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:24,480
stuff especially, it's probably like I mean, there was the

800
00:41:24,559 --> 00:41:29,159
famous example is Lady Gaga. There was a whole Facebook

801
00:41:29,199 --> 00:41:32,199
group that was like Stephanie. She had a super Italian name.

802
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,639
Whenever her fucking name is Stephanie Gianna monomena nomena, Uh,

803
00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:38,639
you will never be famous. That was the name of

804
00:41:38,679 --> 00:41:39,400
the Facebook group.

805
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, that was the name of the Facebook group

806
00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:44,719
because she was so full of herself and her and Tom.

807
00:41:44,599 --> 00:41:46,199
Speaker 2: Pole were like she and by the way she was

808
00:41:46,280 --> 00:41:49,400
at like NYU Tish. I think so this was like

809
00:41:49,559 --> 00:41:53,239
not some like fucking Sunni school where she was like,

810
00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,400
you happen to be famous one day. Like these were

811
00:41:55,519 --> 00:41:59,239
other artists who saw her and were probably maybe not

812
00:41:59,360 --> 00:42:03,880
even wrongly like she's whatever, dude, she well, I don't know.

813
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:05,880
I don't understand why she thinks she's gonna be so big.

814
00:42:06,039 --> 00:42:09,280
Speaker 1: I think similar stories about Taylor Swift in high school.

815
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 2: Our friend who went to Penn State knew people who

816
00:42:16,840 --> 00:42:19,360
went to high school with Taylor Swift or like junior

817
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,280
high with Taylor Swift a like she sucks. They were like,

818
00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:26,559
a she sucks and be people would be like the

819
00:42:26,639 --> 00:42:29,360
way he explained it was, they said he they told

820
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:31,920
him that people were like mean to her, and she

821
00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:33,920
would be like, I'll prove you all wrong. I'm gonna

822
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,880
be famous one day, would like say that to them,

823
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:40,400
and she obviously she got the last laugh. But my

824
00:42:40,599 --> 00:42:44,119
assumption is it's more like she was already telling people

825
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:46,880
she wanted to be famous, and then as a seventh

826
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:49,760
grader is wont to do. They would just give her

827
00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,440
shit for it, and she would be like, oh, I

828
00:42:52,599 --> 00:42:53,320
prove you are wrong.

829
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 1: But it's just some kid being like whatever, you know,

830
00:42:56,599 --> 00:43:00,800
like not like specifically like I hope you fucke Taylor

831
00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:03,679
Swit was just like whatever, Taylor, You're not gonna be famous,

832
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:08,159
and she's like, oh yeah, yeah, proved a sell wrong.

833
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, real quick. Before we keep going, we do have

834
00:43:11,039 --> 00:43:13,920
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840
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Speaker 2: He said it. He said it. It's a personal trainer

841
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in your pocket. Now, Dan, you're a fit boy.

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Speaker 1: Some say that, I personally don't.

843
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Speaker 2: I don't know if I believe you because you refuse

844
00:43:41,639 --> 00:43:44,440
to pop top on the show. But you at least

845
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:45,199
say you go to the gym.

846
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,320
Speaker 1: Well, the day you start lifting is the day you're

847
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forever small.

848
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Speaker 2: Yeah, but fitbod it at least gases you up. It

849
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tells you you're doing a good job.

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Speaker 1: You're always chasing that man in the mirror with a pump.

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Speaker 2: And how does fitbod help you chase that man in

852
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the mirror.

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Speaker 1: Because it allows you workouts to see that man during

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your pump sessions. It provides all kinds of exercise demonstrations

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like again, like I said, it's the personal trainer in

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your pocket, thousands of videos to show you how to

857
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work out, and it works with what you got.

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Speaker 2: So if you go to a big, fancy gym like Dan, it'll.

859
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Speaker 1: Give you exercises around the gym with dumbbells, with barbells,

860
00:44:26,039 --> 00:44:27,840
with some of the machines. But if you don't have

861
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anything that else I have bodywork or body weight workouts,

862
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you know, it'll just kind of accommodate to your settings

863
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and your goals.

864
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Speaker 2: And it'll do that with lifting, with cardia, with whatever.

865
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It's not just it's not just for lifting, for example,

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any type of workout that you're into, any type of

867
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goal you have, MABE, but you.

868
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Speaker 1: Should probably just lift. If you want a non trash body,

869
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,679
you should lift weights. Okay, fair enough, Orked, you know

870
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:52,320
at least two bodyweight exercises.

871
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Speaker 2: Yes, So whether you're trying to lose weight, whether you're

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trying to put on masks, whatever your goals are, Fitbod

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It'll give you different exercises every day. It'll show you

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how to do those exercises.

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Speaker 1: It'll be your accountability buddy.

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Speaker 2: It kind of bill a buddy that is right. Fitbod

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is there for you no matter what the workout is.

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Like the New Year's coming up, a lot of people

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are trying to get will be getting back into fitness

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or whatever. I'm telling you, Fitbod is the best way

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trainer in your pocket and it's way cheaper, by the

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way than an actual personal trainer, like a human one.

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And we don't need humans. This is the twenty first century.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm not just a podcaster talking about mad,

892
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I'm a client. He is.

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Speaker 2: Dan is a fit bod user and level up your

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899
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you what if fifteen of you show us that you

900
00:46:21,119 --> 00:46:25,039
have signed up for Fitbod, Daniel Pop Top, I'll pop

901
00:46:25,119 --> 00:46:28,079
top Daniel PopTop. If fifteen of you give me receipts,

902
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,039
Daniel PopTop will show you that fit pop body.

903
00:46:32,079 --> 00:46:36,039
Speaker 1: I'll pop feet, Yeah, yeah, I'll show a little toe.

904
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,000
Whatever you brow you little footboys, pop Top pop.

905
00:46:38,840 --> 00:46:41,400
Speaker 2: Bottom, Dan'll do it. That's f I T B O

906
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D dot m E slash softcore. Check it out.

907
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 1: Doesn't even really claim the Eagles anymore. I hate to

908
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,880
see that cheese girl now, yeah, she's converted. Good Dick

909
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:53,360
will do that.

910
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,639
Speaker 2: How far away is she from Philly? Does she grow

911
00:46:55,679 --> 00:46:56,119
uprom Philly?

912
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:58,880
Speaker 1: I think she was like Middle Pennsylvania, so a couple

913
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:03,559
hours lord middle huh? I think so closer to the

914
00:47:03,599 --> 00:47:08,320
Philadelphia side. Yeah, I don't actually know where she's from. Whatever,

915
00:47:08,440 --> 00:47:11,000
I don't care where she's from. Now, here's a statue

916
00:47:11,039 --> 00:47:11,920
of Herodotus.

917
00:47:12,559 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 2: Look.

918
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:13,840
Speaker 1: Look how jacked you like?

919
00:47:14,079 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 2: Actually like extremely The biceps are insane.

920
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:22,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like this is a historian. Huh, it's good. Look,

921
00:47:22,199 --> 00:47:23,039
it's good look for us.

922
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:27,519
Speaker 2: I mean that's like it makes Indiana Jones look like

923
00:47:27,559 --> 00:47:28,000
a pussy.

924
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:32,840
Speaker 1: Just give me that fucking arm workout, man.

925
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,519
Speaker 2: Yeah, what is he doing? It's just lifting the pen

926
00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:38,280
all day. That's from writing.

927
00:47:39,119 --> 00:47:44,199
Speaker 1: I do like that he essentially tells stories of places

928
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:45,760
he's been that he's never actually been to.

929
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:49,800
Speaker 2: That is the funniest thing. That's like leaving a review

930
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,960
on a restaurant you've never been to, which is really funny, or.

931
00:47:53,079 --> 00:47:55,039
Speaker 1: Just going to summer camp and like, yeah, hooked up

932
00:47:55,079 --> 00:47:58,599
with this girl. Where's she go? Uh you wouldn't know? Yeah,

933
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,559
Oh yeah, dude, he's from out of town central Pennsylvania.

934
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:05,440
You haven't heard of her. Yeah she was really hot

935
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:08,679
though she could be famous one Yeah hot thrilled dude,

936
00:48:08,679 --> 00:48:10,760
you get no bitches at home? Yeah, dude, I just

937
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:13,239
had a different type of type of rhizms. We see.

938
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,760
Speaker 2: That's that's not that's not a good way to tell

939
00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,920
that lie. You can't be like, I just gotta different

940
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:19,960
type of you gotta be like, yeah, dude, because the

941
00:48:20,039 --> 00:48:22,559
bitches here fucking suck, dude, and then you gotta call

942
00:48:22,599 --> 00:48:24,840
them shitty, like, dude, the chicks you aren't even hot.

943
00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:29,639
I don't want to score with these bitches Ashley fucking Sarah.

944
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:33,000
They're not. They're fucking like fucking sixes, dude.

945
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:34,440
Speaker 1: I out sore my hose.

946
00:48:34,599 --> 00:48:36,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, I don't know, I'm not even gonna touch

947
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,280
that ship. They ain't no good. I've the summer camp

948
00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:43,480
full of tens and I've like fucked eight of them, dude, Like, yeah,

949
00:48:43,559 --> 00:48:46,159
I'm not fucking trying to even fucking deal with the

950
00:48:46,239 --> 00:48:49,920
bitches here. You gotta make your friends sound like their garbage.

951
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, long distance the way to go.

952
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:59,760
Speaker 2: I mean, I got some perks to it, not really, no,

953
00:49:00,119 --> 00:49:02,119
not at all at all. It's retarded. It's the dumbest

954
00:49:02,159 --> 00:49:04,360
thing you can do. But I mean, if you're an adult,

955
00:49:04,679 --> 00:49:06,400
like at the by our age and you just really

956
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,920
need to find someone, sure, but like you shouldn't do

957
00:49:09,960 --> 00:49:13,440
that when you're like twenty, that's insane. Like you go

958
00:49:13,519 --> 00:49:16,960
to cut two different college situation. It's just count down

959
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:17,760
to getting cheated on.

960
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,360
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, who's gonna cheat first? Yeah, I'm a chickend.

961
00:49:22,239 --> 00:49:24,000
You can't even be mad, Like if you get cheated

962
00:49:24,079 --> 00:49:27,679
that's just college. Yeah, that's just college. My favorite I

963
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,599
still just love I would think of the story before it,

964
00:49:29,639 --> 00:49:31,159
but so I won't like tell it quickly again.

965
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:32,599
Speaker 2: Which is one of my favorite things ever. Is my

966
00:49:32,679 --> 00:49:35,679
buddy who got walked in on fucking some chicken. She

967
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,840
had a boyfriend, got walked in on by the boyfriend,

968
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:42,519
and there was like still an understanding of like bro

969
00:49:42,760 --> 00:49:45,079
code of like it ain't your problem, bro, just get

970
00:49:45,119 --> 00:49:48,639
the fuck out of here. I'm not mad at you

971
00:49:50,679 --> 00:49:54,119
because you implicitly know you would do the same fucking thing.

972
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:57,559
Speaker 1: It's like I didn't know what do you want? Man,

973
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:01,760
it's your favorite lie that you heard.

974
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,840
Speaker 2: Oh it's the ants by far. Yeah, although actually, even

975
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,360
though we don't know, it's a lie for sure, the

976
00:50:07,519 --> 00:50:11,960
marathon is a lie until I'm proven otherwise if he's

977
00:50:12,079 --> 00:50:14,559
the one that came up with that story, it's not

978
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:15,679
fucking true.

979
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 1: Yeah. Also, just the stories you probably told about, like Thermopoly,

980
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,480
there's oh yeah, probably more than three hundred dudes.

981
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, for real, there's you.

982
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: Know, they count the three hundred Spartans, but then there's

983
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:31,239
like a whole group of mercenaries that join on.

984
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 2: There's like five six thousand people, which still, by the way,

985
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:35,800
is wildly outnumbered, right.

986
00:50:36,639 --> 00:50:41,559
Speaker 1: But it's at a choke point. Leonidas is h you know,

987
00:50:41,719 --> 00:50:46,559
he's a military not genius, but he's regarded as he's regarded.

988
00:50:46,280 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 2: Pretty high, certainly a pregmatist, right, Like there's like what

989
00:50:49,519 --> 00:50:52,519
is military genius really? It depends. Like there's people like

990
00:50:52,639 --> 00:50:58,239
Napoleon who were genuinely like innovative and excellent, and then

991
00:50:58,320 --> 00:51:04,280
you've got people lie like Grant who they're genius of

992
00:51:04,360 --> 00:51:06,840
Grant was really just pragmatism, Like it.

993
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,079
Speaker 1: Was just like this is what we have, this is

994
00:51:09,239 --> 00:51:14,000
the geography of the location if we do this, that

995
00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,559
I have to do this, Like yeah, somebody that's just

996
00:51:16,639 --> 00:51:18,679
like straight up like this is what would happen if

997
00:51:18,719 --> 00:51:22,440
we do this, right, Like this is our only only chance?

998
00:51:22,679 --> 00:51:25,079
Speaker 2: Right, Like there's two Like sometimes you need to win

999
00:51:25,159 --> 00:51:28,480
a game through a miracle or whatever, crazy play, it's

1000
00:51:28,519 --> 00:51:32,119
like no in your home ballpark, Yeah it's it's But

1001
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,079
other times it's just like do what you need do

1002
00:51:34,239 --> 00:51:37,639
what you're supposed to do, do your job, and you'll win.

1003
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:39,599
That's the two different type of things.

1004
00:51:39,719 --> 00:51:42,199
Speaker 1: Thermopyle it was like a picture's park. It was like Petco.

1005
00:51:42,679 --> 00:51:45,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just just pop them up all game. It

1006
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,199
doesn't matter how, it doesn't matter if they're getting under

1007
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,639
the ball, like if they're if they're you know, elevating

1008
00:51:50,679 --> 00:51:52,440
the ball or whatever, it's probably gonna get beat down

1009
00:51:52,480 --> 00:51:54,000
by the wind or some bullshit. Yeah.

1010
00:51:54,599 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 1: Plus they're gonna fight harder because you guys are oiling

1011
00:51:57,320 --> 00:51:59,639
each other up. Yeah, cuddling at night.

1012
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:05,840
Speaker 3: Blood and lubrication litted the beach that day, and the

1013
00:52:06,079 --> 00:52:12,039
Twink King wept in his tent as goat boys pilated

1014
00:52:12,239 --> 00:52:14,000
him deep into the night.

1015
00:52:14,159 --> 00:52:17,119
Speaker 1: It's the funniest part about the Spartans, how we lionize them,

1016
00:52:17,159 --> 00:52:22,079
but they're like probably they're certainly bisexual and just pieces

1017
00:52:22,079 --> 00:52:25,079
as shit, like even for ancient Greece, like all the

1018
00:52:25,159 --> 00:52:27,920
other Greeks, I fucking hated the Spartans.

1019
00:52:28,199 --> 00:52:29,880
Speaker 2: They're the worst person in your neighborhood.

1020
00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:33,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, like the worst even in like Assassin's Creed Odyssey

1021
00:52:34,400 --> 00:52:37,360
they portray the Spartans. It's just total dicks they are.

1022
00:52:37,599 --> 00:52:41,079
They start wars for no reason, just start battles like yeah,

1023
00:52:41,119 --> 00:52:42,400
they leave their kids in the woods.

1024
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, and all the other Greek city like really like

1025
00:52:46,239 --> 00:52:50,880
the only reason the Spartans are remembered is because they

1026
00:52:50,920 --> 00:52:51,639
were other Greeks.

1027
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:52,960
Speaker 1: They were the faue the Athenians.

1028
00:52:53,079 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, all the other Greek cities did all the writing

1029
00:52:55,039 --> 00:52:57,079
in the art and the stuff that actually and the

1030
00:52:57,199 --> 00:52:59,960
architecture and all this important stuff that makes Greek grease,

1031
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:03,599
and the Spartans are just like we ah wooriors. It's

1032
00:53:03,639 --> 00:53:04,760
just like fuck off man.

1033
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:09,039
Speaker 1: That's My favorite Spartans were the jocks at the school, yes, yeah,

1034
00:53:09,679 --> 00:53:14,000
my favorite Spartan story. And the Athenians were kind of

1035
00:53:14,079 --> 00:53:17,599
like the kids that trained MMA. So like in high school,

1036
00:53:17,599 --> 00:53:19,639
you know, you have the kids to play football, the

1037
00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:22,559
kids that would play basketball, like you know, normal varsity sports.

1038
00:53:22,599 --> 00:53:25,679
But then there was always like those uh, grungier kids

1039
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:28,079
that would wear beanies when they lift and listen to

1040
00:53:28,320 --> 00:53:31,199
heavy metal, and then they would get jacked and then

1041
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:35,559
start training MMA earlier than anyone else, and the jock

1042
00:53:35,599 --> 00:53:37,440
would always try to like start shit with them and

1043
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,280
didn't go well. Didn't go well.

1044
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:42,639
Speaker 2: I love that fight video from a couple of years ago.

1045
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,599
It was two ou players had a in a bathroom

1046
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:48,159
bar at uh At in Norman.

1047
00:53:48,039 --> 00:53:50,559
Speaker 1: And ran in the two wrestlers yep, yep, and they

1048
00:53:50,599 --> 00:53:52,159
were talking shit. You can look at their ears.

1049
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,000
Speaker 2: They didn't, they did not look at the ears. It

1050
00:53:54,079 --> 00:53:55,679
was a really big dude too, It's like a tight

1051
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,239
end and he was just and like the two like

1052
00:53:58,400 --> 00:53:59,840
tiny wrestler dude.

1053
00:54:00,320 --> 00:54:01,719
Speaker 1: To be fair, I think one of them was a

1054
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:05,119
long snapper, so, but one of them was a star player,

1055
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,440
because that's why it went viral. Yeah, he got slammed

1056
00:54:07,440 --> 00:54:09,000
on and said, oh my god, and.

1057
00:54:09,039 --> 00:54:11,280
Speaker 2: The two like tiny wrestler dudes just like looked at

1058
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:13,679
each other and like a dude, let's do it, and

1059
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:14,840
they fucked.

1060
00:54:15,079 --> 00:54:17,400
Speaker 1: There's something powerful about that, like having that in your

1061
00:54:17,400 --> 00:54:21,039
back pocket. Yeah, like being able to fuck up ninety

1062
00:54:21,159 --> 00:54:25,039
five percent of the populations. You just live life differently.

1063
00:54:25,239 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 2: But see, here's the thing about the Spartans, and.

1064
00:54:27,039 --> 00:54:29,719
Speaker 1: Those people typically don't start the shit though, right.

1065
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:32,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, the Spartans start the ship. The Spartans start the ship.

1066
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,440
And that's my favorite Spartan story of all time is

1067
00:54:35,079 --> 00:54:40,440
when Philip of Macedon was like, if I if you

1068
00:54:40,519 --> 00:54:42,960
don't surrender, and I come to your city, Like, if

1069
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,159
I come to your city, I will raise it to

1070
00:54:45,280 --> 00:54:47,800
the ground or whatever. And the Spartans just sent back

1071
00:54:47,840 --> 00:54:50,199
because you're a fucking tough They just sent back the

1072
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:55,800
word if like you know, that's bad ass, dude, that's

1073
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,239
fucking badass. Yeah he did that though they got wrecked,

1074
00:54:58,360 --> 00:55:02,159
but they fucking wrecked them. Yes, he showed up and

1075
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:03,079
fucked them up.

1076
00:55:05,000 --> 00:55:10,519
Speaker 1: Sweet, comeback, dude, Alexander should have went back and he

1077
00:55:10,599 --> 00:55:12,599
should have raised it everything, like pissed all over it.

1078
00:55:12,719 --> 00:55:15,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, agreed. They should have never let that city

1079
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:19,800
cut re raise itself. No, oh that's the best.

1080
00:55:21,280 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: Would have been a cool story if that didn't happen. Yeah,

1081
00:55:24,119 --> 00:55:26,320
if he was like, oh shut up or not, would

1082
00:55:26,360 --> 00:55:29,199
have stood the test of time. Philip was just like, nah,

1083
00:55:30,039 --> 00:55:32,679
fuck you. And honestly, even though he had caught, he

1084
00:55:32,719 --> 00:55:33,440
should have sent back.

1085
00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:35,880
Speaker 2: Bet it should have.

1086
00:55:37,599 --> 00:55:39,639
Speaker 1: Even though he conquered the other Greeks, I bet you

1087
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:42,000
there was almost They were like, if you ever could

1088
00:55:42,039 --> 00:55:44,079
ever get other Greeks to volunteer for one.

1089
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:46,760
Speaker 2: Thing, it would be to burn down Sparta. Like it's

1090
00:55:46,800 --> 00:55:50,079
the equivalent of like the Indians were probably like, I

1091
00:55:50,119 --> 00:55:53,239
don't know about these Spanish guys, but man, fuck the Aztecs.

1092
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:56,280
Speaker 1: The Spartans, for sure, though, were useful to fight out

1093
00:55:56,280 --> 00:55:59,000
the Persians. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like when Greece came

1094
00:55:59,039 --> 00:56:03,719
together that very brief moment to fight off a common enemy.

1095
00:56:04,679 --> 00:56:06,639
I'm sure they were dope to have in battle and

1096
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:10,320
just like all right, send them in. Yeah cool, Like

1097
00:56:10,400 --> 00:56:11,519
they're expendable for us.

1098
00:56:11,639 --> 00:56:16,039
Speaker 2: They're just too singularly focused, you know what I mean.

1099
00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:19,760
It's like imagine if like it's it's like they're almost

1100
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:22,480
like Kobe, where it's just like, boy, all that guy

1101
00:56:22,639 --> 00:56:25,559
wants to do is score, But sometimes.

1102
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: Kobe still won championships. I don't know if spar really

1103
00:56:27,559 --> 00:56:28,400
won championships.

1104
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:29,760
Speaker 2: That's true, it's true.

1105
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,079
Speaker 1: I mean the Sparings are literally known for like an

1106
00:56:32,599 --> 00:56:33,440
all time loss.

1107
00:56:33,679 --> 00:56:35,840
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, it's fair.

1108
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:43,000
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's our our episode on herodotus. What'd you

1109
00:56:43,079 --> 00:56:43,519
learn today?

1110
00:56:45,000 --> 00:56:48,440
Speaker 2: I learned about the ants, especially I knew Herotas they're

1111
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:52,320
just giant squirrels. Yeah, like I knew Horotus was an exaggerator.

1112
00:56:52,400 --> 00:56:54,639
It's like a funny meme that always goes around on

1113
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:57,960
history accounts and stuff like that. Whereas like there's like

1114
00:56:57,960 --> 00:56:59,960
a meme where it's like modern historians and it's like

1115
00:57:00,079 --> 00:57:03,440
the crying like angry crying cartoon and it's like, no,

1116
00:57:03,719 --> 00:57:06,599
we can't know for sure. And then it's like ancient historians,

1117
00:57:06,599 --> 00:57:08,719
which basically just means Herodotus and it's like, there were

1118
00:57:08,800 --> 00:57:11,960
exactly three hundred and eighteen thousand whatever it meant I counted,

1119
00:57:12,199 --> 00:57:15,719
Yeah I can't, yeah exactly. But yeah, the ant thing.

1120
00:57:15,800 --> 00:57:17,519
I didn't realize he was getting that far.

1121
00:57:18,000 --> 00:57:20,159
Speaker 1: And I actually I just liked that he made up

1122
00:57:20,199 --> 00:57:22,800
stories about Babylon. Yeah. I actually did think he was

1123
00:57:23,079 --> 00:57:26,159
at least well traveled, but was just still saying whatever

1124
00:57:26,239 --> 00:57:26,679
he wanted to.

1125
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 2: So it's funny.

1126
00:57:27,639 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: He was allegedly like but he said he wants all

1127
00:57:30,400 --> 00:57:32,239
these places, and he definitely did go to some of

1128
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:37,039
these places, right, But he what if he just kept

1129
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:40,800
showing up the places thinking it was the locations he like,

1130
00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:43,159
like Babylon or Egypt and everything, and just he got

1131
00:57:43,239 --> 00:57:44,360
to ended up in the wrong spot.

1132
00:57:45,880 --> 00:57:48,039
Speaker 2: They just bring him to like anywhere, Like they just

1133
00:57:48,079 --> 00:57:51,000
bring him to some like like some city on Cyprus

1134
00:57:51,039 --> 00:57:52,639
and they're like, yeah, you're in Egypt and he's like whoa.

1135
00:57:54,079 --> 00:57:56,440
That's one thing I thought I could have sworn he

1136
00:57:56,519 --> 00:57:58,800
had been to the Pyramids, but maybe that was a

1137
00:57:58,960 --> 00:57:59,719
Roman historian.

1138
00:58:00,559 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 1: So there was a story that he said he was

1139
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:05,920
at the Pyramids, but there was no mention of the Sphinx. Okay,

1140
00:58:06,239 --> 00:58:09,079
So a lot of historians claim that if he was

1141
00:58:09,159 --> 00:58:12,559
going to mention the Pyramids and he was in Egypt,

1142
00:58:12,599 --> 00:58:15,400
he would have mentioned the sphinx, right, because it's right there.

1143
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:21,079
So that's sus, little sus Yeah, okay, so it's just

1144
00:58:21,159 --> 00:58:23,280
like little oddities that kind of stick out, like yeah,

1145
00:58:23,280 --> 00:58:25,480
but if you went there, you would mention this or

1146
00:58:25,880 --> 00:58:28,519
talk about the The things he did mention were like

1147
00:58:28,679 --> 00:58:32,159
kind of totally wrong. There were not one hundred gates.

1148
00:58:32,679 --> 00:58:39,119
Speaker 2: Yeah, insane. But I do wonder if may and modern

1149
00:58:39,199 --> 00:58:41,519
historians would actually know this, because they've written, read enough

1150
00:58:41,599 --> 00:58:45,320
other ancient Greek stuff. But I just wonder if, like, okay,

1151
00:58:45,360 --> 00:58:48,519
he said one hundred, right, I wonder if that's just

1152
00:58:48,719 --> 00:58:55,639
like the equivalent of shorthandedly, like it'd be one of

1153
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:57,880
us being like, oh my god, dude, there was like

1154
00:58:57,960 --> 00:59:01,159
a fucking million people there, you know what I mean?

1155
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:06,199
Speaker 1: Yeah, or you're just hyping your boys up, yeah yeah, yeah, dude.

1156
00:59:06,239 --> 00:59:08,840
There were like twelve chicks.

1157
00:59:08,639 --> 00:59:11,800
Speaker 2: At the party. Yeah, it's just like a number, like

1158
00:59:11,840 --> 00:59:13,199
one hundred sounds there were four.

1159
00:59:13,400 --> 00:59:17,639
Speaker 1: Three of them were girlfriends. Yeah, one was astray. She

1160
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:18,880
left by nine.

1161
00:59:18,840 --> 00:59:20,559
Speaker 2: Thirty, was not into the vibe.

1162
00:59:20,920 --> 00:59:24,199
Speaker 1: No, she showed up, was like, I'm gonna go to

1163
00:59:24,280 --> 00:59:24,719
the bars.

1164
00:59:24,920 --> 00:59:27,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, my other friends are uh yeah, you get to

1165
00:59:27,079 --> 00:59:30,679
that fun. But like three three dudes got laid that night.

1166
00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:32,079
Speaker 1: Three dudes got laid that night.

1167
00:59:32,199 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1168
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,599
Speaker 1: Well actually, now the two of them were roommates that

1169
00:59:35,679 --> 00:59:36,360
were on their period.

1170
00:59:36,559 --> 00:59:39,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, and actually Steve passed out.

1171
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 1: But it was a good time.

1172
00:59:41,559 --> 00:59:42,840
Speaker 2: Dad, dude, there's chicks.

1173
00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:48,559
Speaker 1: But beer died till four thirty in the morning. All

1174
00:59:48,599 --> 00:59:51,159
of that sounds like now it does.

1175
00:59:51,480 --> 00:59:56,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, the four thirty part specifically, just stay up for tailgate.

1176
00:59:57,400 --> 00:59:59,880
Oh god, I could never do that. It's like such

1177
00:59:59,880 --> 01:00:02,119
a bad morning person that, Like if there was an

1178
01:00:02,159 --> 01:00:04,840
eleven am game, I'd be like, all right, cool, see

1179
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:05,440
you guys at ten.

1180
01:00:06,400 --> 01:00:07,360
Speaker 1: Who's today's hitler?

1181
01:00:08,039 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 2: U horatus for inventing the marathon?

1182
01:00:11,119 --> 01:00:14,199
Speaker 1: What about inventing history? Because up until that point things

1183
01:00:14,239 --> 01:00:17,920
were written down and documented that happened. He gave details,

1184
01:00:18,199 --> 01:00:21,920
So okay, I fuck him though, for he's the first

1185
01:00:22,079 --> 01:00:28,519
historian to I guess give explanations or reasons as to

1186
01:00:28,559 --> 01:00:30,039
why things happened context.

1187
01:00:30,239 --> 01:00:34,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, that's sweet, But fuck him for inventing a marathon.

1188
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:36,239
Speaker 1: Do you consider him more the father of history, the

1189
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:36,679
father of.

1190
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:39,639
Speaker 2: Lies, father of I'll give him history.

1191
01:00:39,719 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 1: I'll give him history as well.

1192
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:42,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not. Someone had to do it a lot.

1193
01:00:42,679 --> 01:00:44,559
Speaker 1: People were lying a long time, so I think the.

1194
01:00:44,599 --> 01:00:48,159
Speaker 2: First one's perfect. It's like complaining that Edison's light bulb

1195
01:00:48,280 --> 01:00:50,000
was dogshit compared to what you could buy now.

1196
01:00:51,559 --> 01:00:54,039
Speaker 1: I thought the original light bulb is actually better. Yeah,

1197
01:00:54,119 --> 01:00:56,800
maybe it is, because but then they redid it because

1198
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:59,639
he's like, nobody will have to rebuy the blood bulbs. Yeah,

1199
01:01:00,039 --> 01:01:01,920
may that's what I was told that. That's always the

1200
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:07,000
urban legend, right, classic Edison. Though he was a fucking businessman. Yeah,

1201
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:10,239
businessman first, what a monster?

1202
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:12,039
Speaker 2: Though he sounds cool.

1203
01:01:12,599 --> 01:01:13,519
Speaker 1: He killed Topsy.

1204
01:01:14,760 --> 01:01:16,760
Speaker 2: Topsy got what she deserved.

1205
01:01:17,480 --> 01:01:19,840
Speaker 1: Check out our Patreon pre dot com slast Software History

1206
01:01:20,159 --> 01:01:24,159
two additional episodes every week three years at this point

1207
01:01:24,199 --> 01:01:29,800
of evergreen content ad free, and of course, uh merch

1208
01:01:29,880 --> 01:01:34,599
store Software History dot com for merch. Plenty of stuff

1209
01:01:34,599 --> 01:01:35,239
that you can buy there.

1210
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:37,039
Speaker 2: I think we're gonna revamp it for the new year.

1211
01:01:37,239 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try so. I'm going home for Christmas and

1212
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:42,760
one of my projects when I'm home is to make

1213
01:01:42,800 --> 01:01:45,159
some new merch and read to the store. Hell yeah,

1214
01:01:45,239 --> 01:01:49,079
so look out for that in Q one, let's go,

1215
01:01:49,599 --> 01:01:51,320
make sure to leave a review if I starts pleasing

1216
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:55,719
thank you on Spotify and Apple and dude, tis the

1217
01:01:55,840 --> 01:01:58,800
season to just re listen to episodes.

1218
01:01:59,039 --> 01:02:00,719
Speaker 2: By the way, you can also give start Patreon to

1219
01:02:00,760 --> 01:02:03,679
people you can. You can give Patreon as a gift,

1220
01:02:04,280 --> 01:02:04,920
so do that.

1221
01:02:05,920 --> 01:02:08,519
Speaker 1: But also tis the season to just re listen to

1222
01:02:08,559 --> 01:02:09,440
all of our episodes.

1223
01:02:09,480 --> 01:02:11,559
Speaker 2: You got nothing else to do. Nothing.

1224
01:02:11,599 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna put out content either, And we're the only

1225
01:02:13,800 --> 01:02:15,159
people that are putting out content.

1226
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:15,599
Speaker 2: Over the holidays.

1227
01:02:15,639 --> 01:02:19,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, we will not miss because we're currently about to

1228
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:22,920
do like ten episodes in three days.

1229
01:02:23,079 --> 01:02:25,639
Speaker 2: Yeah. I was telling my wife. I was like, I'm

1230
01:02:25,679 --> 01:02:27,159
so glad this would be like an easier week for

1231
01:02:27,280 --> 01:02:28,760
me than usual. It was like, I may still have

1232
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:31,079
to do shud done, but for some reason, it'll be easier.

1233
01:02:32,119 --> 01:02:34,800
It just feels lighter, doesn't for me.

1234
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:38,039
Speaker 1: I gotta go produce a live show in San Antonio,

1235
01:02:38,079 --> 01:02:41,800
as well. Yeah, excited for that, Excited for the twenty

1236
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:43,360
four hour drive back to Pennsylvania.

1237
01:02:44,079 --> 01:02:45,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, you splitting it and I'm doing it straight.

1238
01:02:46,039 --> 01:02:48,719
Speaker 1: What I'm doing it straight? Why don't worry about it?

1239
01:02:50,039 --> 01:02:51,639
Speaker 2: I really don't want to have to handle this LLC

1240
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:52,280
when you die.

1241
01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:56,599
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be fine. When I totaled my car in Tennessee,

1242
01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,960
my brand new truck, I'll be fine.

1243
01:03:00,400 --> 01:03:00,960
Speaker 2: It'll be fine.

1244
01:03:02,199 --> 01:03:03,440
Speaker 1: I'll be fucking hysterical.

1245
01:03:03,599 --> 01:03:04,440
Speaker 2: Do you have your insurance?

1246
01:03:04,519 --> 01:03:05,039
Speaker 1: Kill myself?

1247
01:03:05,079 --> 01:03:06,440
Speaker 2: Over yet? Over yet to the new?

1248
01:03:06,599 --> 01:03:07,440
Speaker 1: Should be okay?

1249
01:03:07,679 --> 01:03:09,800
Speaker 2: Should be? Maybe double check that for you?

1250
01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:11,519
Speaker 1: Drive like adventure off?

1251
01:03:11,679 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1252
01:03:12,400 --> 01:03:14,000
Speaker 1: I need some meth though, or after all?

1253
01:03:14,559 --> 01:03:18,400
Speaker 2: Same thing. I'm excited. He's literally the same thing. Yep.

1254
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:20,679
Speaker 1: Maybe trying. I'm gonna try to catch an Eagles game two.

1255
01:03:21,559 --> 01:03:23,199
Speaker 2: There you go, whatever, We'll see you later.

1256
01:03:23,239 --> 01:03:26,719
Speaker 1: See the end of the episode. You just gotta sauce here.