1
00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:02,240
Speaker 1: I pray you'll stick with us on this because it's

2
00:00:02,240 --> 00:00:04,639
going to make some people uncomfortable. And that's good because

3
00:00:04,679 --> 00:00:07,040
sometimes you should be uncomfortable, because the world should be

4
00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:09,160
an uncomfortable place, particularly for those.

5
00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:11,080
Speaker 2: Of us who walk with Jesus.

6
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:16,600
Speaker 1: Haddie Olsen sees what porn does, and God helps her

7
00:00:16,679 --> 00:00:19,719
help us and our kids and our grandkids, and she

8
00:00:19,839 --> 00:00:23,600
joins us now courtesy of renewed dot Healthcare and God Almighty.

9
00:00:25,719 --> 00:00:29,160
Speaker 3: But Todd Herman show is one hundred percent disapproved by

10
00:00:29,280 --> 00:00:37,320
big pharma technocrats and tyrants everywhere from the high mountains

11
00:00:37,359 --> 00:00:45,399
of Free America. Here's the Emerald City exime Todd Herman.

12
00:00:48,159 --> 00:00:50,840
Speaker 1: Today is the day the Lord has made, and these

13
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,799
are the times through which God has decided we shall live.

14
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,920
I want to thank my friends that renew dot Healthcare

15
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,640
for making this possible. Don't want to talk a lot

16
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,719
about it. It's an anti aging protocol, you know. I'm

17
00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:04,000
going down there for that. But they make things like

18
00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:07,159
this possible. And when I told Steve we were doing

19
00:01:07,159 --> 00:01:09,480
this segment, he said, please, please, you're going to be

20
00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,200
out of the country. I want to hear this segment. Steve,

21
00:01:12,359 --> 00:01:17,079
one of the Mansion partners there helped funds the orphanage

22
00:01:17,079 --> 00:01:19,439
in which you grew up, and he has a heart

23
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,840
for this stuff, So thank you, Steve.

24
00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:21,400
Speaker 2: It's renewed.

25
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,439
Speaker 1: The healthcare the port is having a massive, massive effect

26
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,799
on society and men and boys, but it is having

27
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:32,280
a brutal effect on ULTI many girls. Haidie Olsen joins us.

28
00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,959
She's founder and president of Paradigm Shift Training and Counseling, LLC.

29
00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:38,680
There's a link in the show notes. She is a

30
00:01:38,879 --> 00:01:42,719
sexual assault nurse examiner. And Hei, do you welcome to

31
00:01:42,799 --> 00:01:43,560
the Todd Herman Show.

32
00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:47,280
Speaker 4: Thanks so much, Chad. I appreciate you tackling this issue

33
00:01:47,359 --> 00:01:50,680
and just being willing to have hard conversations. So I'm

34
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:51,480
happy to be here.

35
00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you. And I guess it's hard.

36
00:01:54,599 --> 00:01:56,319
Speaker 1: For a lot of folks and very uncomfortable for a

37
00:01:56,359 --> 00:01:59,040
lot of folks. And I guess what I said at

38
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:00,560
the top of the show is if we have the

39
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:02,879
Holy Spirit in us, it should be uncomfortable, shouldn't it.

40
00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:04,879
Speaker 5: Yes?

41
00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:09,240
Speaker 4: Absolutely, you know this is a it's dark and it's ugly,

42
00:02:09,319 --> 00:02:11,400
and I think for a lot of people the reality

43
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,639
is like I just don't want to think about it.

44
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:14,639
Speaker 5: I get so overwhelmed.

45
00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 4: I don't want to think about the ramifications that this

46
00:02:17,159 --> 00:02:19,680
is having on society and on kids, but we have

47
00:02:19,759 --> 00:02:23,479
to talk about it because it's deeply impacting everything around us.

48
00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:27,439
Speaker 1: You have a unique job in this, and I want

49
00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:30,520
to dig into that job, the sexual assault nurse examiner.

50
00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:34,599
But I want to start with you. And why do

51
00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:37,759
you think God called you to this? I you know,

52
00:02:37,879 --> 00:02:40,840
God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the cold.

53
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:42,240
Speaker 2: So what happened?

54
00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:48,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, So the short version of it is that I'm

55
00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:53,879
a sexual assault survivor and really, when I just closed

56
00:02:54,199 --> 00:02:56,599
what was happening to me, it was not handled well,

57
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,639
it was not There's not a lot of support or

58
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:05,039
believe or really even accountability for my perpetrator, who, as

59
00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,639
a side note, was deeply addicted to pornography. And so

60
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:12,520
I think for me, the trauma of saying what happened

61
00:03:12,759 --> 00:03:15,960
and really just feeling like people don't believe me, it

62
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,080
doesn't they don't care, right, like there's not the support

63
00:03:19,159 --> 00:03:22,520
surrounding me, I think fueled me. Then, you know, ten

64
00:03:22,599 --> 00:03:26,000
years later, becoming a forensic nurse, to feel like I

65
00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:28,520
want to be able to hold space for people who've

66
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,560
experienced trauma like this and say I believe you. How

67
00:03:31,599 --> 00:03:34,879
can I help, even if I can't fix all the trauma,

68
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,759
If I can be a safe person for you in

69
00:03:36,759 --> 00:03:40,400
this very small moment in time and create some safety

70
00:03:40,759 --> 00:03:43,280
that matters, and I think that honors the Lord. And

71
00:03:43,319 --> 00:03:46,479
so I've been a forensic nurse for eleven years now,

72
00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,360
and basically that means taking care of kids who have

73
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:55,199
experienced sexual assaults in a medical and forensic capacity, but

74
00:03:55,199 --> 00:03:57,560
I also do a lot of training and consulting around

75
00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,039
all of these issues as well.

76
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm tremendously sorry that you went through that.

77
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:04,599
Speaker 5: Thank you that.

78
00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:06,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, uh, and it breaks my heart.

79
00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:11,759
Speaker 1: And you said, as a side note, your perpetrator was

80
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,360
addicted to porn It's not a side note, is it.

81
00:04:15,199 --> 00:04:15,800
Speaker 5: No, it's not.

82
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:19,639
Speaker 4: Actually, in today's day and age, what we find is

83
00:04:19,639 --> 00:04:25,000
that pornography and sexual assault are so deeply intertwined. I

84
00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:29,279
think the vast majority of perpetrators of sexual violence, abuse

85
00:04:29,399 --> 00:04:33,319
screaming likely our addicted to pornography. There's just such a

86
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,560
huge motivator there.

87
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,639
Speaker 1: You and I met through my job at I'm Privileged.

88
00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:41,079
I have a radio program on American Family Radio and

89
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,360
you and I spoke there and there you can look

90
00:04:43,399 --> 00:04:47,519
at Heidi's work at AFR dot net slash protect. She's

91
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,240
in a series that we're doing it AFR and talking

92
00:04:51,319 --> 00:04:55,560
about this and in a more uh documentary sense with

93
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,920
some of our colleagues and some others in this and

94
00:04:58,279 --> 00:05:02,040
So this job that you do, you it seems to

95
00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:05,720
me you encounter girls and boys, I mean boys are

96
00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:10,560
victimized as well, but you encounter them on what might

97
00:05:10,639 --> 00:05:13,399
be the worst day of their life, or if finally

98
00:05:14,199 --> 00:05:17,480
the secret is out, maybe the worst and best day

99
00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:22,000
of their life. So we're just through that scenario where

100
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,319
someone has been assaulted, a child's been assaulted, and it's

101
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:28,720
been you know, a horrible violent thing. It's one time

102
00:05:29,319 --> 00:05:33,079
you meet them, you walk into the room, What is

103
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:33,560
that like?

104
00:05:33,759 --> 00:05:34,759
Speaker 2: And then what do you do?

105
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:41,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, so forensic nurses really, this role of nursing was

106
00:05:41,879 --> 00:05:46,279
specifically created to support this population. And so we're an

107
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:49,279
interesting blend of Yes, we're providing medical care, but we're

108
00:05:49,319 --> 00:05:53,519
also collecting forensic evidence. So after someone has been sexually assaulted,

109
00:05:54,079 --> 00:05:56,680
it stands to reason there's likely DNA on their body

110
00:05:56,680 --> 00:06:00,199
from that perpetrator, whether that's skin cells, hair cells, body

111
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,720
fluid on that victim's body, and so we're also trying

112
00:06:03,759 --> 00:06:07,959
to swab those areas to aid in law enforcement and prosecution.

113
00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:10,639
So we sort of have this intersection of being in

114
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,199
both worlds where yes, we're making sure a child's body

115
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,680
is safe and healthy, but we're also seeing if there's

116
00:06:15,720 --> 00:06:18,800
evidence we can collect in that moment. So when a

117
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:22,199
child discloses, then a lot of times they come into

118
00:06:22,240 --> 00:06:25,360
an emergency department and they'll be seen by a forensic nurse.

119
00:06:25,399 --> 00:06:28,240
So we're doing a medical head to toe assessment. We're

120
00:06:28,279 --> 00:06:31,319
looking for injuries, we take photos of injuries if there

121
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,959
are any. Like I said, we're swabbing their bodies, looking

122
00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:39,040
for evidence, collecting clothing, underwear, things like that. We're also

123
00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:41,600
doing a really thorogenital exam because of course, if we're

124
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,800
talking about sexual assault, that's likely a part of their

125
00:06:43,800 --> 00:06:45,279
body that's been impacted.

126
00:06:46,839 --> 00:06:49,639
Speaker 5: The I think a huge myth around this.

127
00:06:49,759 --> 00:06:52,600
Speaker 4: Is that most people believe kids will have injuries after

128
00:06:52,639 --> 00:06:56,199
a sexual assault, and research shows about ninety to ninety

129
00:06:56,199 --> 00:06:59,040
five percent of kids actually don't have injuries after a

130
00:06:59,079 --> 00:07:02,279
sexual assault, So that doesn't mean they weren't assaulted. We

131
00:07:02,319 --> 00:07:04,600
don't expect to see an injury because that's a normal

132
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:07,839
exam is typically the finding after a sexual assault, but

133
00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,560
we still want to look make sure they don't have

134
00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:15,800
injuries or sexually transmitted infections. You know, we're testing for pregnancy,

135
00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:17,839
you know, if this is a pubertal kid, things like that.

136
00:07:17,879 --> 00:07:21,240
So just thinking about all the ramifications that happen from

137
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:25,600
an assault, assessing their mental health, you know, giving them

138
00:07:25,639 --> 00:07:29,560
resources and referrals, and then making you know, police reports

139
00:07:29,639 --> 00:07:30,360
and things like that.

140
00:07:30,439 --> 00:07:32,240
Speaker 5: So it's it's a heavy job.

141
00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:35,000
Speaker 4: It's uh, you know, we're trying to assess them thoroughly,

142
00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,240
but I think it's needed and I think it matters

143
00:07:37,319 --> 00:07:39,560
when we can create safety in that moment as well.

144
00:07:40,079 --> 00:07:44,879
Speaker 1: So that's professional Heidi describing the professional clinical role and

145
00:07:44,879 --> 00:07:46,480
doing a very good job of that, and that in

146
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:47,680
and of itself will.

147
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,959
Speaker 2: Be uncomfortable for people. But then there's.

148
00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:55,319
Speaker 1: Also Heidi who survived sexual assault and walks with the lord,

149
00:07:55,439 --> 00:07:58,240
and I imagine that you also have to establish some

150
00:07:58,399 --> 00:08:05,439
form of mental, spiritual safety with his child. And so

151
00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:07,519
how do you do that? How do you with someone

152
00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:10,879
who's in that state? What do you personally do to

153
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:13,920
establish a personal safety with them before you start touching

154
00:08:13,959 --> 00:08:17,480
their body? They just had their bodies touched in horrible ways.

155
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,120
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a couple of things that I've learned over

156
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,959
the years to do. And so first, I have kind

157
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,639
of a ritual before I even go into the hospital,

158
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,160
which is that I am praying, I am covering myself

159
00:08:29,199 --> 00:08:32,480
in Jesus's blood, and I am spending time with the

160
00:08:32,519 --> 00:08:35,639
Lord as I'm driving in because this is a spiritual battle.

161
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:39,879
You know, what we know with Satan is that if

162
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:45,000
he can traumatize kids at a young age, it creates lies. Right,

163
00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,879
God doesn't love me, he doesn't see me. If he did,

164
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,159
he wouldn't let these things happen. And he knows that

165
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:54,360
is a great way to create this dissonance with God

166
00:08:54,399 --> 00:08:56,200
where we don't want to connect to him, where he's

167
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:59,120
not safe. So, of course there's a spiritual components all

168
00:08:59,159 --> 00:09:01,960
of this. Well, I think we can all agree a

169
00:09:02,039 --> 00:09:03,919
child being is sexually assaulted as one of the most

170
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,759
evil things that can happen, and so I feel the

171
00:09:07,799 --> 00:09:10,519
spiritual pushback. I know it's real. So that's the first

172
00:09:10,519 --> 00:09:13,200
thing I'm doing. The second thing I'm doing when I

173
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:16,840
go into the room is that I want to establish safety,

174
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:20,480
and part of establishing safety is giving people a choice.

175
00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:22,279
So if the kid says I don't want to do this,

176
00:09:22,759 --> 00:09:26,120
that's fine. Guess what, We're not going to do that exam.

177
00:09:25,759 --> 00:09:28,600
And for parents, that can be so frustrating, right, like

178
00:09:28,639 --> 00:09:30,919
we came here, we want to do this, But it's

179
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,720
being able to validate what they're saying. I believe you,

180
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:37,039
I'm sorry, you know you deserve to be safe. Thank

181
00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:39,200
you for telling me that those kind of statements that

182
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,879
are just reiterating you matter, I care, you know, I

183
00:09:42,919 --> 00:09:46,080
know this is hard, and giving them choices and then

184
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:50,399
just continuing to be really you know, empowering along the way.

185
00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:52,120
So if they want to stop their exam, that's fine.

186
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,080
If we need to take deep breaths, you know, just

187
00:09:54,159 --> 00:09:56,799
different ways to kind of help their nervous system be

188
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,480
as safe as it can in a difficult situation. So

189
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,080
I've had to learn over time I cannot let my

190
00:10:03,279 --> 00:10:07,799
own experience or trauma guide what's happening with the patient

191
00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:10,480
because their experience is different than mine. And so yes,

192
00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:13,320
I have that background, but it can't run the show

193
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,120
while I'm with someone else because it's about that kid,

194
00:10:16,159 --> 00:10:18,320
it's not about me in the moment. And that's been

195
00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:20,039
a learning experience do you.

196
00:10:20,039 --> 00:10:23,000
Speaker 2: Have a share that you were assaulted with kids?

197
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:23,799
Speaker 5: I don't.

198
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,399
Speaker 4: And the reason that I don't is not because I'm

199
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:28,960
you know, embarrassed or whatever. But I don't want them

200
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,759
to feel in the moment that they need to take

201
00:10:30,759 --> 00:10:33,000
care of me of like, oh, the nurse told me

202
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,639
to say, now I have to take on her a thing,

203
00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,039
and I'm sorry. I only want it to be about that. Yeah,

204
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,960
so I just leave it alone. But you know, of course,

205
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,759
in stettings like this, I'm happy to share when you

206
00:10:44,799 --> 00:10:47,559
know someone's not in an acute trauma situation.

207
00:10:47,759 --> 00:10:48,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.

208
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:54,879
Speaker 1: My wife has helped. And this may sound like a distraction,

209
00:10:55,039 --> 00:10:58,080
I promise it's not. My wife and I have helped

210
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:04,440
a number of families flee states like Washington and Oregon

211
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,240
in California where their kids were on the virgin being

212
00:11:07,279 --> 00:11:12,919
medically kidnapped in order to be tranced chemically surgically I

213
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:18,879
referred to as mutilation, and in that help was so

214
00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,519
frustrating for people is early on, when this was happening

215
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,360
to kids and to families, no one believed the parents,

216
00:11:27,759 --> 00:11:29,600
they're taking our kids away? Know, they wouldn't do that.

217
00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,440
Our doctor offered to do a masectomy with a twelve

218
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,600
year daughter or that that never happens, or you'd get this,

219
00:11:38,679 --> 00:11:41,600
you'd get people saying things like, well, wait, it's a

220
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,360
If my daughter came out and told me she's actually

221
00:11:44,399 --> 00:11:45,639
a boy, I'd call her brave.

222
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:46,360
Speaker 2: I'd celebrate.

223
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,320
Speaker 1: What's wrong with you? You should be celebrating this. So

224
00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:57,120
this was the establishment being completely untrustworthy. Parents have to leave,

225
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,919
you can't have your kid around this stuff, and then

226
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,679
being almost gas lit that there's something wrong with you

227
00:12:02,759 --> 00:12:05,159
as a parent if you don't, if you don't come

228
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:08,399
along and celebrate this. I wanted to ask you, are

229
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,080
there any dynamics like that at play here in regard

230
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:15,679
to your role as a sexual assault nurse examiner where

231
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:18,399
there are institutional blockades.

232
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:18,919
Speaker 2: Or there are.

233
00:12:20,799 --> 00:12:24,440
Speaker 1: Societal blockades, or people saying haven't the kids have enough?

234
00:12:24,519 --> 00:12:25,279
Speaker 2: Do you or had enough?

235
00:12:25,279 --> 00:12:25,559
Speaker 5: Did you?

236
00:12:25,600 --> 00:12:26,720
Speaker 1: Do you face anything like that?

237
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,360
Speaker 5: Oh? Yeah, absolutely. Oh.

238
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,679
Speaker 1: I always hoping you were going to say, oh no,

239
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:31,559
not at all.

240
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,639
Speaker 5: Yeah, I wish that wasn't the case.

241
00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:41,559
Speaker 4: Yes, there's multiple layers of i'd say barriers that I

242
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:46,080
have experienced in this work, and so from not having

243
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:50,679
support from an institution to kind of being pushed out

244
00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:53,159
of jobs, you know, for speaking up and wanting to

245
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:57,840
create change and do the right thing. And you know,

246
00:12:58,799 --> 00:13:02,440
I'll give you an example. I was really pushing for

247
00:13:02,519 --> 00:13:05,840
us to universally screen kids for trafficking because we have

248
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,799
just seen these huge numbers of kids being exploited online,

249
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,759
and when we screen them, well, we finally get a

250
00:13:11,799 --> 00:13:14,759
lot of disclosures around for an exposure, you know, being

251
00:13:14,799 --> 00:13:19,279
groomed online from you know, actual trafficking disclosures. It's really

252
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,039
important to ask kids about that. And just being told

253
00:13:22,159 --> 00:13:23,879
this is not a good use of our resources.

254
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:28,559
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, you just you were asking to ask questions.

255
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,360
Speaker 4: Right right, and our nurses wanted to we had the capacity,

256
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,200
we had the will you know, it wasn't gonna hurt

257
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,600
anyone in the hospital. No one's gonna be asked to

258
00:13:36,639 --> 00:13:38,080
do a job they didn't want to do. Just could

259
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,039
be coming and do this, and we're told it was

260
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,320
not a good use of our resources. So it is

261
00:13:42,399 --> 00:13:45,279
mind blowing the pushback we get. I've talked to many

262
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,559
other hospitals kind of trying to get them on board

263
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:53,279
with these types of screening questions or education around you know, pornography, exploitation, trafficking.

264
00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:57,440
I've had many hospital administration administrators say things like, this

265
00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,519
is going to create a revenue for us if not

266
00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:01,000
like or not interesting.

267
00:14:00,799 --> 00:14:02,159
Speaker 2: This is going to create a revenue.

268
00:14:02,519 --> 00:14:03,919
Speaker 5: Yeah, yep.

269
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,720
Speaker 4: So no, probably it's not going to create a tangible

270
00:14:07,759 --> 00:14:11,039
revenue to recognize trafficking victims in your hospital.

271
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,080
Speaker 5: But is it the right thing to do? Yes?

272
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,480
Speaker 4: And they say no to it. So yeah, I get

273
00:14:16,519 --> 00:14:19,320
a lot of pushback from an institutional.

274
00:14:20,039 --> 00:14:20,399
Speaker 5: Level.

275
00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:23,840
Speaker 4: I also get pushback sometimes just from people doing this

276
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,840
work and that they don't think some of the issues

277
00:14:26,879 --> 00:14:31,039
I'm bringing up are a big deal. So, for example,

278
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:33,679
I talked to a group of therapists one time about

279
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:37,000
how pornography's impacting kids, and one of the comments I

280
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,639
got in my evaluations was I felt like I was

281
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:45,000
dragged to a Southern Baptist convention against why will and

282
00:14:45,159 --> 00:14:47,799
I So, I will say, in those settings, you know,

283
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:51,279
where it's highly academic or professional, I don't talk about

284
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:54,000
my faith. I don't. I purely approach this from a

285
00:14:54,039 --> 00:14:56,240
research standpoint, because I know that's time going to get

286
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,159
by in is to say here's all the research, here's

287
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,759
the anecdotal evid and here's what we're seeing frontlines.

288
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,399
Speaker 5: It's real, right, Like, there's.

289
00:15:04,159 --> 00:15:07,759
Speaker 4: No religious there's no political affiliation with any of this,

290
00:15:07,919 --> 00:15:10,320
and I still get that type of feedback sometimes, and

291
00:15:10,399 --> 00:15:12,799
so yeah, the pushback is real.

292
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:17,000
Speaker 2: Absolutely, it's so horrible to hear.

293
00:15:17,519 --> 00:15:20,440
Speaker 1: I was really hoping you'd say no, no, no, But

294
00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:23,600
Satan is always always working.

295
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,840
Speaker 2: But God wins in the end. We'll continue to discuss this. Hi,

296
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:27,480
do you just a second.

297
00:15:27,519 --> 00:15:29,480
Speaker 1: Let me remind you that it's not just renew that

298
00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:31,919
helps us do this stuff. From the very first day

299
00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:35,320
I announced that I was leaving commercial radio because I

300
00:15:35,399 --> 00:15:38,440
was told I had to lie, my friend Zach Abraham,

301
00:15:38,519 --> 00:15:41,039
chief investment officer bull Capital Management, has been.

302
00:15:40,919 --> 00:15:42,720
Speaker 2: There shoulder to shoulder with me.

303
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 1: He is the person his company, Bulwark Stewart's our funds

304
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,639
for us, My wife and I and Zach is putting

305
00:15:50,639 --> 00:15:52,000
on a free live webinar coming up.

306
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,600
Speaker 2: April second at three thirty Pacific.

307
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:56,000
Speaker 1: It's going to be really focused on AI and I

308
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:57,600
was just looking at a number of things that's happened

309
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,360
in AI in the past two weeks and it is

310
00:16:00,639 --> 00:16:05,919
just utterly insane. For instance, there is a robot that's

311
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:09,320
being put on trial. Believe it or not, this is

312
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,679
a test of a legal system. This is happening in Asia.

313
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,519
There's a robot that's being put on trial. There is

314
00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:19,240
an AI that is now it has confessed to framing

315
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:24,639
multiple employees to get them blamed for things because the

316
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:28,200
AI did not like the attitude of these employees. This

317
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,360
stuff is happening, So Zach's going to be looking at this.

318
00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:33,159
If you're five to ten, even fifteen years from retirement,

319
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,320
it is vital that you understand where you stand with

320
00:16:36,399 --> 00:16:40,440
your portfolio, your retirement plans in relation to AI. So

321
00:16:40,639 --> 00:16:43,639
go join this. It's April second, three thirty Pacific. It's

322
00:16:43,639 --> 00:16:46,559
super easy. Just go register a Know Your riskpodcast dot com.

323
00:16:46,559 --> 00:16:50,960
That's know Know Your Riskpodcast dot com. Bulber Capital Managements

324
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,440
and Investment Advisor Representative Truck Financial LLCNSC Richard Investment Advisor.

325
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,159
Investments involve rescue are not guaranteed pastformancesn't canteg your future results.

326
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,960
TRUK twenty sixes four seven. Heidi Olsin's with us and

327
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:07,359
again linked to her business and this AFR documentary of

328
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:11,000
which she's a part. So the discussion about pornography. You

329
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,839
and I were talking before the show in the green room,

330
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,039
and I hope that shrimp was good.

331
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:16,480
Speaker 2: I hope that was okay for you. In the steak

332
00:17:16,559 --> 00:17:19,160
and all that, we.

333
00:17:19,279 --> 00:17:24,279
Speaker 1: Were talking about your LLC helping companies and organizations. I

334
00:17:24,319 --> 00:17:26,319
want to talk more about that. I asked you if

335
00:17:26,319 --> 00:17:30,599
you ever helped churches have prepared them to have conversations

336
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:35,799
with young people about porn and sexual trauma.

337
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:35,960
Speaker 2: Et cetera.

338
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 1: And basically you said, I wish so even churches are

339
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:43,400
shying away from this absolutely.

340
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,880
Speaker 4: I think honestly churches might be the worst offenders in

341
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:51,920
some ways where you know, we raised the issue and

342
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:54,519
they're like, yeah, no, we don't need to talk about that.

343
00:17:54,759 --> 00:17:57,279
It's not an issue here, not our kids. No one

344
00:17:57,319 --> 00:18:01,200
here has that ever struggled with that really, I think

345
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:04,279
having their blinders on and not wanting to address the issue.

346
00:18:04,279 --> 00:18:07,440
And so that's been really disappointing because you know, churches

347
00:18:07,559 --> 00:18:10,240
have an opportunity to be on the front lines bringing

348
00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,319
healing and redemption and truth to this issue, and they're not.

349
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,039
I mean far and few between. Some churches are, but

350
00:18:16,279 --> 00:18:19,799
most churches are not. And so that has definitely been

351
00:18:19,839 --> 00:18:23,799
a disappointment in terms of getting buy in.

352
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:24,720
Speaker 3: Wow.

353
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,119
Speaker 1: Wow, you know, we're told to be watchers at the

354
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:32,519
gate Christians who abide with crisis an old Testament, a

355
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:33,400
piece of scripture.

356
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,240
Speaker 2: But we are told to warn.

357
00:18:35,839 --> 00:18:41,240
Speaker 1: When we see spiritual dangers coming. We're told in I

358
00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:43,279
think my wife pulled this out the other day Proverbs,

359
00:18:43,319 --> 00:18:46,079
that we're told to speak out for those without voices effectively.

360
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:50,200
And I don't know that there are more silenced people

361
00:18:50,279 --> 00:18:54,480
than kids who are being sexually assaulted or trafficked. And

362
00:18:54,559 --> 00:18:58,559
the spiritual danger, My goodness, this can, as you said,

363
00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,559
keep people apart from Christ. And we know the whole

364
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:04,640
thing about millstones around next and Jesus said, causing these

365
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,279
little ones to stumble on the way to him.

366
00:19:08,359 --> 00:19:08,839
Speaker 5: I am.

367
00:19:09,119 --> 00:19:12,319
Speaker 1: I don't often get flabbergasted, But I guess I'm just

368
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:15,519
lucky to be a member of a church and volunteer

369
00:19:15,599 --> 00:19:17,480
with kids at a church where we do talk about this,

370
00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:21,000
but people exist, pastors exist who say, oh, no one

371
00:19:21,039 --> 00:19:22,680
at our church suffers from this, and no one at

372
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:23,680
our church looks at porn.

373
00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 4: Yes, absolutely, And I think there's even a disconnect when

374
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,680
it comes to understanding how porn impacts men and women. Right,

375
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:34,480
it might be like, well, some of the guys in

376
00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:37,240
our church struggle with porn, but definitely, none of the women,

377
00:19:37,759 --> 00:19:40,599
definitely none of the kids. And it's like, no, everybody

378
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:45,119
is even being impacted by pornography. We have to be

379
00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:49,359
realistic and address this. And I think there's multiple layers

380
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:51,920
why the church is not addressing it. But if you

381
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:55,559
look at statistics around how much of the church, congregation

382
00:19:55,759 --> 00:20:00,240
and even pastors are consuming porn, that absolutely plays roll

383
00:20:00,279 --> 00:20:01,799
in it, right, But we don't want to address something

384
00:20:01,839 --> 00:20:03,559
we feel a lot of shame about and don't want

385
00:20:03,599 --> 00:20:06,079
to go there. But I think there's also a huge

386
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,279
generational gap. If you are talking to you know, church

387
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:12,680
leadership that didn't grow up with Internet porn the way

388
00:20:12,799 --> 00:20:16,240
that millennials and Gen zs are, they don't get it right.

389
00:20:16,279 --> 00:20:18,720
Like sometimes it's like it's not that big of a deal. Yeah,

390
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,839
maybe I saw Playboy once, you know, a long time ago,

391
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,640
and it's like, oh no, this is like constantly being

392
00:20:24,839 --> 00:20:29,440
inundated with very hardcore pornography that just pops up in

393
00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:32,279
front of you. Like this is a totally different animal

394
00:20:32,319 --> 00:20:33,799
that we're talking about with the Internet.

395
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:36,519
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we can I don't want to get into

396
00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:41,240
the lute and specific, but we can talk about some

397
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:45,160
of the dynamics of what hardcore means today because hardcore

398
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:48,559
back of the day meant something. People who praise God

399
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:51,680
have not seen this stuff, have no idea what hardcore

400
00:20:51,759 --> 00:20:53,000
means to do. I told you i'd share a bit

401
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,119
of good news with you, so I will. And this

402
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,319
there's a lot of pastors who listen to the show

403
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,480
and thank you. You guys have a hard job and

404
00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:04,119
Satan is all over you and your families, and we

405
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,400
should hold you up in prayer, and thank you for

406
00:21:06,519 --> 00:21:09,759
listening or watching the show. I appreciate any way you

407
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,480
choose to consume the show. Let me tell you about

408
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:14,920
some of how this bears fruit and how do you

409
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,920
I hope this is this is helpful for you. A

410
00:21:18,519 --> 00:21:21,720
mom got in touch with me and my partner, John

411
00:21:21,759 --> 00:21:23,759
Jehan's a lot younger than me, and we co lead

412
00:21:23,839 --> 00:21:27,440
this group, and she said, hey, you know, I'm really

413
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,279
asking you to pray for my son. He has relapsed

414
00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,240
in using pornography and vaping, and and this kid was

415
00:21:35,279 --> 00:21:38,920
in a tough circumstance and we'd even talked beforehand, how

416
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,440
are you going to avoid these temptations?

417
00:21:40,559 --> 00:21:42,160
Speaker 2: And so.

418
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 1: We prayed, we talked about what was going on, and

419
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,720
she said, you know, hope you guys can interact with him.

420
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,880
So he came back to youth group. And from time

421
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,279
to time I'll take kids aside just have one on

422
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,559
once because I never get to do that, and so

423
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:02,519
it's not unusual. So I pulled this young man out

424
00:22:02,519 --> 00:22:03,640
and said, hey, we're gonna have a one on one

425
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:05,440
today and sat down. So, hey, so what's going on

426
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:09,599
with He goes, well, I relapsed with porn. Wow, thank

427
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,119
you for sharing that with me. And how did you

428
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:12,599
feel about it?

429
00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,240
Speaker 2: I felt sick.

430
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:19,079
Speaker 1: And so we processed this and what was Satan saying

431
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,920
to you? He's the same thing you said, He'd say,

432
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,880
it's just once. And so you know, how can I

433
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,960
help you be you know, maybe an accountability partner?

434
00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:31,480
Speaker 2: And do you have that?

435
00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: Because yeah, you know, I've told my mom now that

436
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:35,559
when I have temptation, I'm gonna go to her.

437
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 2: He said.

438
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 1: I actually went to her in the morning and said, hey,

439
00:22:39,039 --> 00:22:43,319
I I used porn last night, and I'd like you

440
00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:45,519
to take my phone away from me for a while.

441
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:50,960
And he confessed to the vaping. And he said, it's

442
00:22:51,039 --> 00:22:55,480
so funny, Todd, because it wasn't even fun. It wasn't

443
00:22:55,519 --> 00:22:57,480
even fun. I just felt sick. I felt sick while

444
00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:00,440
I was doing it, And I said, you told your mom?

445
00:23:00,559 --> 00:23:03,720
Is yeah, yeah, I don't you know. I don't know

446
00:23:03,839 --> 00:23:07,480
my dad. So I told my mom and I told

447
00:23:07,519 --> 00:23:10,559
him thank you for sharing that with me. And I

448
00:23:10,759 --> 00:23:13,200
talked later to his mom and he confessed to you,

449
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:15,200
Oh yeah, I forgot that part. That's how I knew.

450
00:23:16,079 --> 00:23:19,039
Now that's part of the good news. The second piece

451
00:23:19,079 --> 00:23:22,279
of good news is a few weeks later, we were

452
00:23:22,279 --> 00:23:25,000
having a talk about with a young kid who is

453
00:23:25,319 --> 00:23:29,039
clearly addicted to video games, clearly, and I was giving

454
00:23:29,079 --> 00:23:31,279
him this challenge, don't use a video game for five days,

455
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,119
and he was pushing back and this this young man

456
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,920
who confessed to the porn usage, raised his hand and

457
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,880
I go, yes, can I speak into this? I said yes,

458
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:45,160
And he looked at the other kids and they're from

459
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,319
very different backgrounds. He goes, may I speak into this

460
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:47,599
with you?

461
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:49,359
Speaker 2: And he shared that story.

462
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 1: Hadi wow, and he said, so for me, it has

463
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:57,079
to be none, and maybe for you it needs to

464
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,640
be none, because if it's this hard for you to

465
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,759
not do stupid video game for five days, it might

466
00:24:01,839 --> 00:24:02,480
need to be none.

467
00:24:04,279 --> 00:24:05,880
Speaker 2: It needs to be none with porn isn't it.

468
00:24:06,839 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 4: Yes, absolutely, yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that. It's

469
00:24:12,799 --> 00:24:18,000
so encouraging. I love kids, they're so incredible and yes,

470
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:20,480
it's like they surprise you in the best ways.

471
00:24:20,839 --> 00:24:21,039
Speaker 2: Yeah.

472
00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:28,279
Speaker 4: But yeah, pornography is there's no upsides to it. What

473
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,519
it does to our brains, our relationships, you know, there's

474
00:24:31,799 --> 00:24:35,160
just looking at it here and there is never going

475
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,599
to be a healthy behavior. It's similar to like, is

476
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:42,759
you know, doing meth here and there good for our bodies?

477
00:24:42,839 --> 00:24:46,599
Speaker 5: No, it's never good for us. And absolutely we know

478
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:47,200
it's addicting.

479
00:24:47,279 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 4: It's just gonna create those neural pathways and our brain

480
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,720
and give us those chemical releases where we want to

481
00:24:52,799 --> 00:24:55,359
go back and do more. And so yeah, it is

482
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:00,200
one of those things where it should be nothing, no

483
00:25:00,559 --> 00:25:01,559
partaking at.

484
00:25:01,519 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 2: All in my opinion, and I totally agree. I couldn't

485
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:04,640
agree more.

486
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,759
Speaker 1: And when you step away from this and through the

487
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,559
glory of God, and I don't say this prideately, please

488
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,759
understand I have shame that I ever looked at this stuff.

489
00:25:13,599 --> 00:25:17,799
But it's been well over twenty years and the reason

490
00:25:18,039 --> 00:25:21,720
I stopped was I realized that I was watching people

491
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:22,920
being sex trafficked.

492
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:27,640
Speaker 2: Yes, right, Oh my gosh, I can never do this again.

493
00:25:28,599 --> 00:25:32,119
Speaker 1: I want to get into these conversations about how your organization,

494
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,119
your company helps people, and organizations have these conversations schools

495
00:25:36,279 --> 00:25:39,559
and other groups and churches. You know, I'm at a

496
00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,319
church where we talk about this a lot, and so

497
00:25:42,519 --> 00:25:45,799
in that way, we're really blessed. But you mentioned what

498
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,480
is hardcore today. My wife and I have these conversations

499
00:25:49,559 --> 00:25:53,799
from time to time that the boys have been programmed

500
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:59,039
by computers and hardcore porn to have certain expectations of

501
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,640
sexuality and sexual interactions.

502
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,119
Speaker 2: And you see the results of these with girls. So

503
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,319
what are some of the results of these?

504
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, so you know, like you said, I will not

505
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,160
give any graphic details, but if you're not familiar with

506
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:18,839
what's happening online mainstream porn, the algorithms on these sides

507
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,400
are set for men who have been looking at internet

508
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:24,599
porn for the last ten twenty years. So when someone

509
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,640
goes on to Pornhub, it's set for here's the person

510
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,279
whose brain is so desensitized to this content. We have

511
00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,960
to show you something really shocking, really violent, so your

512
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,839
brain is that same chemical release. And so when the

513
00:26:38,079 --> 00:26:41,079
eight year old stumbles onto a video they're getting the

514
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,839
same algorithm set for the forty five year old male.

515
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,319
You know, it's been looking at this since college, and

516
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:52,240
so it's extremely violent. It's very degrading and horrendous, and

517
00:26:52,319 --> 00:26:56,759
there are absolutely torture type incest rate themed I mean,

518
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,559
the worst things you can imagine are just right front

519
00:26:59,599 --> 00:27:02,519
and center. And so it's not just a kid seeing

520
00:27:02,519 --> 00:27:05,480
an image of a naked person. It's very very violent.

521
00:27:05,799 --> 00:27:08,480
So of course, if we have a young kid whose

522
00:27:08,519 --> 00:27:12,160
brain is not even fully developed watching this content and

523
00:27:12,359 --> 00:27:14,480
no one has talked to them about this or even sex,

524
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000
this is setting your sexual template. So we think about

525
00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:20,400
a boy I've been watching this for years, when I

526
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,599
go to have sex with someone, I'm going to emulate

527
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,960
what i'm seeing important because I think that's what girls like.

528
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,920
So it's going to be very violent. It's probably gonna

529
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:32,039
involve strangulation. It's going to be very degrading. There's no atonement,

530
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,160
there's no looking at this other person and are they

531
00:27:35,319 --> 00:27:38,680
enjoying it? You don't learn that important. There's no learning

532
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:43,839
about mutuality or consent. It's very consumptive. With females, what

533
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:48,200
they're learning is I should enjoy being degraded. I should

534
00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,319
enjoy violence, I should enjoy other people watching this. I

535
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,839
should exploit myself because that's what I'm seeing from girls

536
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,039
and pornography. And so if this is what's setting kids

537
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,839
sexual template, this is really confusing. So even think about it.

538
00:28:01,920 --> 00:28:03,240
So you have kids who are great up at a

539
00:28:03,319 --> 00:28:06,240
Christian home, maybe they've never had sex with anyone, but

540
00:28:06,279 --> 00:28:09,200
they're both looking at porn. They get married and have sex,

541
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,119
what's that sexual encounter going to be like?

542
00:28:11,279 --> 00:28:11,440
Speaker 5: Right?

543
00:28:11,839 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 4: Probably kind of traumatizing and confusing and not fun and

544
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,519
isn't going to feel intimate because it's this porn world

545
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:21,559
that they're playing off of and think that those expectations

546
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,559
are what they should be doing. And so a lot

547
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,640
of sexual damage is being created in kids across the

548
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:29,519
world because of this.

549
00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,279
Speaker 1: Yes, and I remember that you shared an instance with

550
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:34,880
us on the American Femer radio show about a brother

551
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:35,400
and sister.

552
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so you talked about that.

553
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 5: Sure.

554
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 4: So there's just huge rates of child and child sexual

555
00:28:43,200 --> 00:28:46,759
assault happening that is porn influenced. So we see a

556
00:28:46,799 --> 00:28:49,640
lot of kids who are watching pornography over and over

557
00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,200
and over again, and then they're acting it out on

558
00:28:52,319 --> 00:28:54,759
other kids. And this is backed in research. If you

559
00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:58,319
look at research, there is absolutely this relationship between kids

560
00:28:58,319 --> 00:29:00,720
seeing porn and then they act out what they see.

561
00:29:01,519 --> 00:29:03,680
Of course, kids have mirror neurons in their brain. We

562
00:29:03,839 --> 00:29:05,799
know they copy what we do. Of course they're going

563
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:10,240
to copy what they see online. And so this instant

564
00:29:10,279 --> 00:29:12,440
I was referring to as a twelve year boys actually

565
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,640
assaulted as five year old sister and the dad walked

566
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:16,480
in and saw it, so there was no question about

567
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,559
what happened. Absolutely horrendous situation. And the parents told me,

568
00:29:21,079 --> 00:29:23,359
you know, we have found violent pornography on his phone.

569
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:24,200
Speaker 5: Is this related?

570
00:29:24,359 --> 00:29:26,759
Speaker 4: And it was like ding, the light bulbs went off

571
00:29:26,799 --> 00:29:29,920
for me, of like, of course it's related, And that

572
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:32,279
for me was a huge catalyst and starting to ask

573
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:38,279
kids about pornography because I'm just seeing such huge correlations

574
00:29:38,359 --> 00:29:40,319
and causation between the kids.

575
00:29:40,359 --> 00:29:40,839
Speaker 5: He's born.

576
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:43,359
Speaker 4: Then they acted out and harm another child, and so

577
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,519
there's this ripple effect of trauma happening.

578
00:29:45,839 --> 00:29:48,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, no doubt, and there's so much research on this.

579
00:29:49,319 --> 00:29:53,920
It's unavoidable. The neurological changes, the pathway changes, you talked about,

580
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:57,839
the mirrored synapses and these learning behaviors that they're also

581
00:29:58,359 --> 00:30:01,440
the destruction of marriage. This gets away from kids, but

582
00:30:01,759 --> 00:30:05,440
the destruction of marriage, the confusion of people on gender.

583
00:30:05,519 --> 00:30:08,200
You and I talk briefly about sissy hypno porn, which

584
00:30:08,279 --> 00:30:11,200
is very purposely aimed at boys to make them want

585
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:12,599
to be like girls, so they're.

586
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 2: The sexual objects.

587
00:30:14,119 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 1: All this stuff just straight from Satan's design to mock marriage,

588
00:30:19,039 --> 00:30:24,440
to mock becoming one flesh in marital union, to mock

589
00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,839
all this and so very clear from this. And I

590
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:29,839
wanted to get with you now to talk about how

591
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:32,000
we discuss porn. We'll do this in just a second,

592
00:30:32,559 --> 00:30:34,160
and then I want you to talk about what your

593
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:36,519
company does and how people can work with you, and

594
00:30:36,599 --> 00:30:41,440
hopefully churches, if you're listening, this is happening, and I

595
00:30:41,599 --> 00:30:45,000
guarantee there are kids in your congregation, unless you are

596
00:30:45,079 --> 00:30:47,920
five people in a home church, I guarantee there are

597
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,480
kids being impacted by this in your congregation. And just

598
00:30:51,519 --> 00:30:54,000
because this week has ended, Saint Patrick's stays over doesn't

599
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,799
mean that you cannot go take advantage of the Irish

600
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,960
true roast from Bone Frog Coffee. My friend Tim Krukshank,

601
00:31:00,359 --> 00:31:04,000
a medical person and medic three three deployments with the

602
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,720
Seal Teams on our behalf willing to die for us.

603
00:31:07,319 --> 00:31:09,880
Tim's bags of coffee all say God Country Team. This

604
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:14,160
one has very very upfront the Celtic Cross. Tim put

605
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,079
up there and he designed this one himself. He's not

606
00:31:16,119 --> 00:31:19,119
an artist, but it's very artistically done. There's a reason

607
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,799
why when Saint Patrick's Day came around, my wife said,

608
00:31:22,359 --> 00:31:23,799
does that mean we get Irish trugan.

609
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 2: Yep, it's her favorite roast. So you go to bone Frog.

610
00:31:26,559 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: Cooffee dot com slash Todd use promo code Todd to

611
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,960
get ten percent off your first purchase in fifteen percent

612
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:35,240
off subscription coffee. Incidentally, Tim has also created some limited

613
00:31:35,319 --> 00:31:37,960
time patches if you're of that generation of people like

614
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,400
to switch the patches out in your hat.

615
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:40,839
Speaker 2: He gave me some of these.

616
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,240
Speaker 1: I should to bring these in. I'll bring him in

617
00:31:42,279 --> 00:31:45,920
next week. One is a Seal Team six Patch, Seal

618
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,359
Team six Gold, and Tim, he's a seal, he gets

619
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:49,680
to give.

620
00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:50,119
Speaker 2: Us these things.

621
00:31:50,359 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: It's for civilians, So if anyone asks you a stolen

622
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,640
valor question, you could say, nope, this is for civilians.

623
00:31:56,759 --> 00:32:00,200
Is to honor this particular team. Also, some sure that

624
00:32:00,279 --> 00:32:01,000
are just killer.

625
00:32:01,079 --> 00:32:02,039
Speaker 2: It's Bonefrog Coffee.

626
00:32:02,079 --> 00:32:05,559
Speaker 1: Dot com slash Todd promo cod Todd at checkout when

627
00:32:06,599 --> 00:32:09,359
I I had a super uncomfortable conversation once with my

628
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:10,279
mom when I was a kid.

629
00:32:10,359 --> 00:32:12,359
Speaker 2: My dearest friend at the time.

630
00:32:12,799 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: Had moved away, and he bequeathed to me a couple

631
00:32:16,279 --> 00:32:19,640
of penthouses and some playboys because he was moving he

632
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,759
didn't want his mom to find these things. So lucky me,

633
00:32:22,759 --> 00:32:26,559
I was bequeathed this pornography and I hid it, I thought.

634
00:32:27,160 --> 00:32:29,799
And I came home from school one day and my

635
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:34,519
mom had them laid out on the kitchen table, centerfolds

636
00:32:34,559 --> 00:32:39,119
and everything. And I walked in and said, all throws away,

637
00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:44,480
and she said, no, no, no, sit down. Let's go

638
00:32:44,559 --> 00:32:49,759
through these together. And she looked at some of the

639
00:32:49,799 --> 00:32:51,960
pictures with me, Do you think that women enjoy doing this?

640
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:54,839
Speaker 2: Probably? Not?

641
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,720
Speaker 1: She read some of the deer Penthouse. I never thought

642
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,920
this was happened to me, but she goes, do you

643
00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:05,119
think this is the way sexually?

644
00:33:05,240 --> 00:33:05,279
Speaker 3: Is?

645
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 2: No? And we went through that process. She closed the

646
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,519
magazine and she said.

647
00:33:14,319 --> 00:33:16,119
Speaker 1: Well, those are yours to do with as you wish,

648
00:33:19,039 --> 00:33:21,920
and that's through them. Why now, that sadly was not

649
00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,480
the last time I ever looked at porn. But that

650
00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:28,599
was a very effective way to plant a seed of

651
00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:33,680
I have a mom and other female family members, and

652
00:33:33,839 --> 00:33:35,319
I'd never want to seem treated this way.

653
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: So when you talk to churches or.

654
00:33:39,079 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 1: Youth groups or youth organizations or schools, what have you,

655
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,079
how do you coach them into talking with kids and

656
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,799
others about porn and trafficking.

657
00:33:50,359 --> 00:33:50,799
Speaker 3: Et cetera.

658
00:33:52,079 --> 00:33:55,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, So you know, I think when I I'm sure

659
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,640
it was mortifying having that moment with her mom.

660
00:33:57,799 --> 00:34:01,319
Speaker 1: Let me just say, but, yes, thank you for recognizing that,

661
00:34:01,359 --> 00:34:04,960
because it was absolutely the most horrible thing I can imagine.

662
00:34:05,079 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, but I appreciate that she didn't shame you. Right,

663
00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,159
it was like, Todd, you're a horrible kid. How could

664
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,519
you ever be attracted to this?

665
00:34:12,679 --> 00:34:13,400
Speaker 5: What's wrong with you?

666
00:34:13,639 --> 00:34:17,039
Speaker 4: Because that is not helpful? And the reality is that,

667
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:19,559
of course, there isn't a lord to porn like we

668
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,800
I think, sort of clutching our pearls and being like,

669
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,320
how could anyone look at this?

670
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:26,639
Speaker 5: Not helpful.

671
00:34:28,159 --> 00:34:28,559
Speaker 1: I think the.

672
00:34:28,679 --> 00:34:31,760
Speaker 4: Reality is when we approach it from a standpoint of

673
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:36,280
we know it's everywhere, we know everyone sees it. Let's

674
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:38,960
have a conversation. You're not a horrible human being if

675
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:40,920
you see it or if you're drawn to it. But

676
00:34:41,079 --> 00:34:43,840
here's how it's harmful. Here's why we don't want you

677
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:46,360
to see it because it hurt your brain, your body,

678
00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:51,280
your relationships, It impacts our relationship with the Lord, and

679
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,599
so we want better for you than this. But we

680
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:56,440
get there's an appeal here and that you are going

681
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,480
to be exposed to it all over the place. Your

682
00:34:58,519 --> 00:35:00,639
friends are looking at it, it's online, popping up on

683
00:35:00,719 --> 00:35:03,320
your phone. So let's talk about how to handle that.

684
00:35:04,199 --> 00:35:06,840
So really it's taking the shame out of it and

685
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,400
doing it in an age appropriate way. So what I

686
00:35:09,519 --> 00:35:13,000
will tell different groups that I'm working with. So for example,

687
00:35:13,079 --> 00:35:16,119
I just did a big conference in Birmingham, Alabama last week,

688
00:35:16,639 --> 00:35:21,360
and the conference was for frontline responders, healthcare workers, and therapists.

689
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,880
And what we thinked about was how do you assess

690
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,719
the kids you're working with on this issue and how

691
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,599
do you treat them if they've been exposed to porn?

692
00:35:29,679 --> 00:35:31,840
And so some of the pointers I was giving them

693
00:35:32,039 --> 00:35:34,920
was obviously in an age appropriate way, we want to

694
00:35:34,920 --> 00:35:37,639
screen every kid who has access to a device for

695
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,280
porn exposure. So if mom and dad are handing three

696
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,280
year old the phone. Guess what, we need to have

697
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,639
some level of conversation with the three year old because

698
00:35:44,679 --> 00:35:46,880
there is a high chance they're going to be exposed,

699
00:35:47,559 --> 00:35:49,920
and so you know, with three year old, of course

700
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,400
you would want to say something. You don't even have

701
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,519
to use the word porn. Write something like hey, if

702
00:35:54,599 --> 00:35:56,960
you ever see a picture of someone and they're not

703
00:35:57,159 --> 00:36:00,800
wearing clothes where your swimsuit goes, tell mom. And it

704
00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:04,920
can be that simple, just really short touch points here

705
00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:06,960
and there. It's not going to put an idea inside

706
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,159
of their head. They're not going to go type people

707
00:36:09,199 --> 00:36:11,639
without clothes on into their brows are most likely it's

708
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:15,639
just like oh hmm, okay, thanks for the information. When

709
00:36:15,719 --> 00:36:19,000
we don't get super excited and you know, emotional about it,

710
00:36:19,079 --> 00:36:19,440
just kind of.

711
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 5: Like, hey, not a big deal, just putting this out there.

712
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:23,840
They're not going to be curious about her.

713
00:36:25,199 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 4: It's like, oh this is a big deal and everyone's

714
00:36:28,039 --> 00:36:30,800
freaking out that it's like, oh, well should I go

715
00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:31,280
look at it?

716
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:32,639
Speaker 5: Because everyone's got feelings.

717
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:38,039
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I think kind of learning different ways and

718
00:36:38,119 --> 00:36:40,920
there's tons of resources. You know, if anyone wants to

719
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,480
reach out to me after this. I'm happy to send

720
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:46,360
you specific resources around all this, but so so learning

721
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,679
how to do it at a young age, and then

722
00:36:48,679 --> 00:36:53,320
obviously those conversations become more intentional and more clear the

723
00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,679
older child gets so when they're at an age where

724
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:59,360
really you can have detailed conversations like a fifteen sixteen

725
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:01,920
year old, they understand what sex is at this point,

726
00:37:02,599 --> 00:37:04,920
just short touch pain points, maybe while you're you know,

727
00:37:05,079 --> 00:37:07,239
driving to go get dinner. Right, you don't have to

728
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,920
make eye contact with each other. It can be Hey,

729
00:37:10,039 --> 00:37:12,480
remember what we talked about with porn You know, have

730
00:37:12,639 --> 00:37:15,239
you seen anything lately? Do you have any questions for me?

731
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:18,880
You know what's hard about growing up in society where

732
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:19,760
everyone's looking at this.

733
00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:20,760
Speaker 5: I care about that.

734
00:37:22,599 --> 00:37:24,480
Speaker 4: So I think there's lots of ways we can approach

735
00:37:24,519 --> 00:37:26,920
it as a professional. What I will say with teenage

736
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,400
kids is, I know a lot of kids learn about

737
00:37:29,400 --> 00:37:32,199
sex from pornography. Have you ever seen pornography or been

738
00:37:32,239 --> 00:37:36,159
shown pornography? You would be shocked the amount of teenage

739
00:37:36,199 --> 00:37:39,400
girls that are because that's primarily who I'm interacting with. Yes, yes,

740
00:37:39,559 --> 00:37:42,079
yes everyone looks at porn. Yes, my boyfriend's sends it

741
00:37:42,119 --> 00:37:44,079
to me. Yes, I've seen it. Yes, I've been shown

742
00:37:44,079 --> 00:37:46,039
it on the bus. Yes, my perpetrator showed it to

743
00:37:46,079 --> 00:37:49,400
me right before he assaulted meat. Right, everyone's being shown

744
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:52,039
this content and then you know, thank you, thank you

745
00:37:52,159 --> 00:37:55,079
for trusting me that information. How that make you feel?

746
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:57,199
You know, what questions do you have for me?

747
00:37:58,000 --> 00:37:59,599
Speaker 5: Again? Taking the shame out of it.

748
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,480
Speaker 4: When we have a child where we think there is

749
00:38:02,559 --> 00:38:06,239
problematic porn news, right, so addiction type of behaviors, right,

750
00:38:06,320 --> 00:38:08,280
they just like the kid who were saying, who can't

751
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:10,119
go five days with that video game, the kid who

752
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:12,440
cannot be without their phone, who has to look at

753
00:38:12,480 --> 00:38:15,679
porn all the time. It's impacting their body, their brain.

754
00:38:16,159 --> 00:38:19,480
Obviously there has to be intervention because they're now following,

755
00:38:19,599 --> 00:38:21,760
you know, an addictive pathway and their brain.

756
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 5: There has to be some intervention there.

757
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 4: But for the kid who's seen it once, you know,

758
00:38:26,079 --> 00:38:28,079
and feels terrible about it, that does not mean it's

759
00:38:28,119 --> 00:38:29,760
going to ruin the rest of their life, right that

760
00:38:30,199 --> 00:38:34,239
there's plenty of evidence to show they'll be just fine.

761
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,039
You know, we don't want them to see it, but

762
00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:37,719
they will be Okay. It doesn't have to be the

763
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:41,679
end of the world. But talking about it and creating

764
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:43,880
safety is really one of the biggest things that we

765
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,440
could do to bring healing.

766
00:38:45,800 --> 00:38:47,079
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it's well said.

767
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 1: This may seem like it comes out of left field,

768
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,800
but there is any dear to the.

769
00:38:56,800 --> 00:39:03,760
Speaker 2: Porn soaked kids who've had access to this their whole lives.

770
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 1: It's not as common, but I've run into cases where,

771
00:39:08,159 --> 00:39:10,400
for the first time it's happened to me and youth

772
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:13,840
group that we talk about pornography. This literally happened with

773
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,559
a fourteen year old boy as we were talking about

774
00:39:16,599 --> 00:39:19,960
pornography after a sermon in relation to God's plan for

775
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,559
our bodies and marriage. We had a discussion about why

776
00:39:23,679 --> 00:39:27,719
do Christians date. We date because we want to see

777
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,159
if we are going to get married. We don't date

778
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:33,559
to have sex or we don't know date for fun. Certainly,

779
00:39:33,599 --> 00:39:36,480
we go hang out with people groups of people so

780
00:39:36,599 --> 00:39:39,280
we can see how people interact with other human beings

781
00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:43,119
of the opposite sex. But when we date, it's intentional

782
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:46,199
and we define the relationship. I'm dating you because I

783
00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,760
want to see if I want to marry you or

784
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,480
if we should be married, if you want to marry me,

785
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,599
and the topic of pornography came up, and a fourteen

786
00:39:52,679 --> 00:39:54,480
year old boy raised his hand and said, I'm sorry,

787
00:39:54,519 --> 00:40:00,719
what is pornography? And I said it is videos of

788
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:05,920
people having sex. And he said people watch that, and

789
00:40:06,639 --> 00:40:09,360
every other boy in the room I mean, they were

790
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:13,199
startling laughter. I said, hey, guys, right safe place. Yeah,

791
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:16,719
and they stopped and said, well, praise god, you've never

792
00:40:16,800 --> 00:40:22,320
seen it. So I guess my question is I have

793
00:40:22,599 --> 00:40:26,559
concern that you can go so far in shielding your

794
00:40:26,639 --> 00:40:29,519
kids and protecting your kid and being a helicopter lawnmower

795
00:40:29,559 --> 00:40:33,880
parent guilty right here, that you.

796
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:38,039
Speaker 2: Set your kid up for the first.

797
00:40:38,079 --> 00:40:41,199
Speaker 1: Example of this or a predator or an overly sexualized

798
00:40:41,199 --> 00:40:42,639
friend to say, no, this is really cool.

799
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:43,280
Speaker 2: Let me show you.

800
00:40:44,599 --> 00:40:46,599
Speaker 1: And it's not to glorify it or to make it

801
00:40:46,679 --> 00:40:49,280
this super secret thing. But do you think parents should

802
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:52,800
warn all kids, even though sheltered homeschool kids should know

803
00:40:52,880 --> 00:40:53,800
that this stuff exists.

804
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 4: Yes, And thank you for bringing that. That's such a

805
00:40:57,559 --> 00:41:01,320
great point because it does rate of vulnerability when kids

806
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:04,239
are not armed with the truth. And so I've seen

807
00:41:04,320 --> 00:41:07,480
that even with parents who push back on like sexual

808
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:09,639
abuse prevention, you know in schools of like, well, my

809
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,119
kids opting out of that because I don't want them

810
00:41:12,159 --> 00:41:14,559
to think about sexual abuse. And it's like, okay, so

811
00:41:14,840 --> 00:41:17,159
if it happens to them, God forbid. I do not

812
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:18,280
want that to happen to your child.

813
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:19,559
Speaker 5: But if it does, they're not.

814
00:41:19,599 --> 00:41:22,360
Speaker 4: Even going to have language to be able to disclose

815
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,519
to you what happened. And I think there's this fear

816
00:41:25,599 --> 00:41:27,639
with parents, well, if we talk about it, it's going

817
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:30,719
to make them more curious. And research actually shows the

818
00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,039
opposite happens when we talk about it again in an

819
00:41:34,159 --> 00:41:36,760
age appropriate way. So we're not giving them all of

820
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,000
these you know, details about hey, go google this thing.

821
00:41:40,599 --> 00:41:44,159
It's hey, this exists, and here's the downsides, and here's

822
00:41:44,199 --> 00:41:46,760
why we don't want this for you, but we want

823
00:41:46,800 --> 00:41:49,960
you to be armed with it. And here's how you know,

824
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,440
people try to groom kids online. And here's the dangers

825
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,880
that are happening. You know that we're seeing that sort

826
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,559
of are ripple effect of all of the porn exposure.

827
00:41:59,039 --> 00:42:00,000
Speaker 5: We want you to be safe.

828
00:42:00,639 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 4: That is not going to drive a child online to

829
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:07,719
go look up sex, right, And so yes, it is

830
00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,360
a huge vulnerability when kids don't know because say that kid,

831
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:12,360
the one who said I don't know what porn is right.

832
00:42:12,639 --> 00:42:14,599
What happens when you go off to college. You're now

833
00:42:14,679 --> 00:42:17,320
away from mom and dad. Everyone in your dorm is

834
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,880
looking at it, they're showing it to you. They're traumatizing you. Right,

835
00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:22,960
you have no skills to know what to do with

836
00:42:23,079 --> 00:42:25,880
this information. And so we want to arm our kids

837
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,239
before they get to that situation.

838
00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,360
Speaker 5: I know how to reject this. I don't have to participate.

839
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:31,760
I don't have to be traumatized by it.

840
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:34,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, well said. And I think parents have reasonable fears

841
00:42:35,039 --> 00:42:36,199
in a lot of government.

842
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 1: Schools these days, because say, you know, we used to

843
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,519
live in the what I call the separate country of

844
00:42:40,639 --> 00:42:45,039
Washington State. They pretended they were passing safe touch legislation

845
00:42:45,639 --> 00:42:52,599
when in fact, I mean the most unspeakable sexual activities.

846
00:42:53,039 --> 00:42:56,199
They were going to teach kids with this curricula up

847
00:42:56,280 --> 00:43:02,760
to an including blood play. And they actually had exercises

848
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:07,719
where you were graded at your efficacy at talking another

849
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:12,480
student into having sex. So truly, no saying things like

850
00:43:12,599 --> 00:43:15,320
well we can use contraceptive, well I don't have one.

851
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,639
Well we can use non microwavable.

852
00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:20,079
Speaker 2: Saran wrap.

853
00:43:20,800 --> 00:43:23,639
Speaker 1: Wow, and you can use that as a dental dam

854
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,360
And they actually said in some of this curricula. If

855
00:43:26,360 --> 00:43:29,199
you're not ready for full sexual intercourse yet, it's a

856
00:43:29,199 --> 00:43:31,000
good idea to get in a hot bath with a

857
00:43:31,079 --> 00:43:34,039
friends and embrace, because this is an important form of

858
00:43:34,119 --> 00:43:40,360
intimacy that truly teaching kids this stuff. And you've seen,

859
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,440
I'm sure some of the books that make it into.

860
00:43:42,239 --> 00:43:43,440
Speaker 2: School libraries, et cetera.

861
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:47,679
Speaker 1: I asked a law enforcement officer who works with international

862
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,519
police forces to stop international sex trafficking. His name of

863
00:43:50,599 --> 00:43:53,320
Jim Feuda. I asked some, showed him some of this curricula,

864
00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:56,440
asked him out. He goes, this is a sex traffickers dream,

865
00:43:57,159 --> 00:44:01,960
this is a pedophile's dream. So have you seen I've

866
00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:06,320
seen a statistical increase in teachers being arrested for sexual

867
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,159
interactions with kids, for raping kids.

868
00:44:10,159 --> 00:44:11,119
Speaker 2: I guess I don't even.

869
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: Know if I have a question here other than you

870
00:44:12,559 --> 00:44:17,039
talked about safe touch and sexual assault prevention. But parents

871
00:44:17,119 --> 00:44:18,559
need to be on the lookout for this stuff and

872
00:44:18,559 --> 00:44:22,760
their schools too, right, And I mean, I don't even

873
00:44:22,800 --> 00:44:24,960
I don't have a question there other than what do.

874
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:25,719
Speaker 2: You observe with that?

875
00:44:26,559 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a great point. So you know, it's like

876
00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:32,480
there's vulnerabilities two sides of the same point. Right, not

877
00:44:32,599 --> 00:44:36,039
talking about it's creating a vulnerability. But when we approach

878
00:44:36,119 --> 00:44:39,280
it through this feels like grooming. What you're describing, that's

879
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:43,199
also creating a vulnerability. And so there's a healthy way

880
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:48,280
to approach all of this that is not normalizing sexual

881
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,440
contact between children. And so there's absolutely ways to do

882
00:44:52,559 --> 00:44:55,599
that where it's not going to create more curiosity or

883
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,280
harm towards them, and it's not encouraging to do it

884
00:44:59,719 --> 00:45:02,480
for them to do things that they're not developmentally ready

885
00:45:02,599 --> 00:45:04,760
or should be doing in this you know, context of

886
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:08,159
being a young child. And so yeah, there's a way

887
00:45:08,199 --> 00:45:09,400
to do it in a healthy way. And I think

888
00:45:09,519 --> 00:45:12,159
both things we're describing are not the way to do it.

889
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,960
But I would say a couple of things I've observed,

890
00:45:15,079 --> 00:45:17,920
so I see a lot when we kind of talk

891
00:45:17,960 --> 00:45:20,159
about the different books that exist. There are some very

892
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:24,960
sexually explicit, sort of young adult teenage books that exist.

893
00:45:25,119 --> 00:45:26,760
We all know this, and I've talked to so many

894
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:31,000
girls where that's where their porn addiction starts. They read, Yeah,

895
00:45:31,079 --> 00:45:34,519
they read this content. Of course it's arousing, it's meant

896
00:45:34,559 --> 00:45:37,119
to be. They go online to google the sex act

897
00:45:37,159 --> 00:45:40,199
that they've now imagined in their head. Now they're saying porn.

898
00:45:40,519 --> 00:45:42,960
Now they are starting to go out to that visual stimuli.

899
00:45:43,599 --> 00:45:46,320
And so those books can absolutely be a gateway into

900
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:49,480
looking at online porn. I've heard it many, many times

901
00:45:49,599 --> 00:45:52,559
from girls or adults who now said, yes, as a teenager,

902
00:45:52,639 --> 00:45:55,280
this is was my intro into it. So I do

903
00:45:55,440 --> 00:46:01,159
think those books absolutely can be very dangerous. But also yes,

904
00:46:01,199 --> 00:46:04,840
we're seeing this massive influx of young female teachers being

905
00:46:05,159 --> 00:46:09,039
arrested for sexually abusing boys. I mean, if you're paying

906
00:46:09,039 --> 00:46:11,400
attention to the headlines, because I do with my job, right,

907
00:46:11,599 --> 00:46:16,760
I mean just massive influx, which I mean, there's so

908
00:46:16,840 --> 00:46:19,599
many layers to it, But in my head, I wonder

909
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:26,320
what layer like or what level of pornography exposure is

910
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,199
playing in all this. With these females, you know, they're

911
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,760
twenty two, twenty three, twenty four, they've probably grown up

912
00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,519
looking at internet porn for the last ten years. Now

913
00:46:34,639 --> 00:46:37,800
are they so desensitized they're grooming their male students and

914
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,440
acting out their sexual fantasies? And how much of this

915
00:46:40,519 --> 00:46:43,400
has typed to their own addiction to pornography? Probably a lot,

916
00:46:43,519 --> 00:46:47,639
because we're just seeing this massive increase in female perpetrators,

917
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,639
and porn's often a part of their abuse. They're snapchatting

918
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:53,360
naked pictures to these boys and filming their assaults and

919
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:55,559
kind of following what we see with a lot of

920
00:46:55,599 --> 00:46:58,840
male perpetrators, these females are now doing And so you

921
00:46:59,000 --> 00:47:01,360
wonder if porn is kind of flipping the.

922
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 5: Script with some of this.

923
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, so this is why for me talking to men

924
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:10,159
and women, this is a zero involvement thing. Don't be

925
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:11,519
around it, don't touch it.

926
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 2: There is no little bit.

927
00:47:14,079 --> 00:47:18,000
Speaker 1: And if this makes you uncomfortable, because I've got from

928
00:47:18,039 --> 00:47:20,760
time to time doing national radio, I've had men contact me.

929
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,039
You sound like a prude. There's nothing wrong with looking

930
00:47:24,119 --> 00:47:25,840
little porn. I'm not married.

931
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,000
Speaker 2: What should I do? Well?

932
00:47:27,119 --> 00:47:29,039
Speaker 1: I mean, if you haven't been gifted with marriage, here's

933
00:47:29,079 --> 00:47:30,559
one thing that's not going to get you married is

934
00:47:30,599 --> 00:47:33,519
looking at porn. And by the way, God's probably not

935
00:47:33,559 --> 00:47:36,440
gonna want to trust you with his daughters. I mean, yeah,

936
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,599
you might meet a porn addicted woman and then hey,

937
00:47:39,039 --> 00:47:41,559
guess what, you guys can separate yourself from God together.

938
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:44,119
Speaker 2: But yeah, there's a lot to this topic.

939
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,840
Speaker 1: So the link to Heide's company is in the show

940
00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:52,039
notes the link to the AFR documentaries there. And if

941
00:47:52,079 --> 00:47:55,400
you're a church and you're avoiding this issue, man, please

942
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,679
pray into that because you're told to be watchers at

943
00:47:57,719 --> 00:48:01,079
the gate and you're chose. This is a spiritual danger.

944
00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,440
And if you're an organization with questions, get in touch

945
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:05,679
with her, be a great speaker at one of your events, etc.

946
00:48:06,159 --> 00:48:06,800
Speaker 2: Just a coach.

947
00:48:07,199 --> 00:48:09,800
Speaker 1: We appreciate you, Heidi. Thank you for wearing the armor

948
00:48:09,880 --> 00:48:11,840
God as you do this stuff, and thank you.

949
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 2: For what you do in your career.

950
00:48:13,519 --> 00:48:14,599
Speaker 5: Thanks so much for having me.

951
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:17,519
Speaker 2: Absolutely my pleasure. This is the Todd Herman Show.

952
00:48:17,599 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 1: Please go, be well, be strong, be kind, and please

953
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,679
make every effort to walk in a lot of Christ