Speaker 1: Welcome back, bestie's. I've missed you. I hope you guys
are settling into your new year, New year, new meat.
No same exact, same exact you. Listen, you guys, don't
put too much pressure on yourself this new year. I
know we all make resolutions to everything is going to
be amazing this year. It's going to be another year.
I hate to burst your bubble, but it's just going
to be another year where good things happen and bad
things happen, and take them all in stride. And if
you want to do a couple more push ups, do
a couple more push ups. If you want to drink
some more water, drink some more water. If you want
to get in shape, you go, girl. But listen if
you don't want to, that's the train I'm on. I
haven't had a New Year's resolution in years and years
and years, so I'm just happy to be here. I'm
happy you guys are with me. I have some dates
coming up, upcoming dates. I would love to see you
guys on the road. I'm in Portland, Oregon, January seventh, Seattle,
Washington on the eighth. I have on January twenty seventh, Raleigh,
North Carolina, January twenty eighth, Austin In, Texas, January twenty ninth, Nashville, Tennessee.
Come see me Janesville, Wisconsin from February thirteenth and fourteenth.
I think I'm also adding Chicago on the twelfth on
February twelfth, so that should be up on my site.
And then March twentieth, London, March twenty first, Berlin, March
twenty second, Amsterdam. Come see Mama on the Road Britney
Schmidt dot com for all of my shows and I
will see you out there, besties. This episode, We're going
to dive right into it. I had such a great
conversations with one of my dear friends. She is the
co host of a super successful dating podcast called Girls
Gotta Eat. She is a comedian. She is announced announcing
announced her first stand up special and I'm going to
be featuring for her on the road. Please enjoy this
episode with Rena Greenberg. I'm just lifted up by Lexapro.
My whole personality now is Lexapro. This morning, when I
was crying, I was like, wait, my meds.
Speaker 2: We all have to have a personality. I used to
have boobs. Those are my personality.
Speaker 1: Yeah, now, my personality is lexipro. My personality is being
heavily medicated. I think you're delightful. I don't know how
you brought dog life.
Speaker 2: I don't experience anxiety. That's not true.
Speaker 1: Yes, no, it's not just that's like a lie you're
telling me.
Speaker 2: I experience aggravation all the time, but like general anxiety,
I don't. It's not a feeling. I experience really temporary anxiety.
Speaker 1: You're lying to my face. You're lying to my face
and everyone that I don't need it.
Speaker 2: I just don't need to be medicated.
Speaker 1: I'm probably no, you don't need to be medicated, but
you could try. You could pop your head into a
therapy session.
Speaker 2: Why do all the personal crises I've had in the
last couple of years, I just send you lengthy voice
notes you and like eight of my girlfriends, I shop
my trauma around to everybody and then I've cured.
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, no, I don't. I think maybe a licensed
professional would give better feedback than an unmedicated divorced person.
I think a medicated divorced person.
Speaker 2: I think eight beautiful, wonderful, successful, insightful girlfriends. The cumulative
nature of them is one therapist. Okay, and all of
you are in therapist.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't need to be I do talk to
my therapist about you. Like my friend is having this.
I'm always like, please talk to your therapist and should do,
and she says you should come see me.
Speaker 2: I don't need to know to tap your money.
Speaker 1: Okay. I fear the most frugal rich person I know.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I don't pay for HBO. I pay for Netflix.
I don't pay for Hulu. I just got a peacock
subscription from somebody else. Oh wow. And I don't pay
for therapy.
Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, Okay, what do you think about this? So
I still share my not my Netflix, my HBO, and
my Apple TV with my ex husband.
Speaker 2: So I think people think this is weird if you
could get somebody to pay for those things, and I say,
go for it. The old reason why I don't want
a man to share that with me is because, like
they watch other stuff. So I want the recommendations tailored
to me, but not enough to pay for it. Right.
Speaker 1: Do you think it's weird that you no? But my
friend who's staying with me did. She's like, what the
fuck is this? She's like, you need to emotionally divorce,
and I was like, I'm divorced. I just also saving money.
Speaker 2: That adds up like one hundred fifty dollars a year.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't more than that, is it?
Speaker 2: Yes? Yeah? See, I don't know because I'll.
Speaker 1: Pay for I would never know. I wait, you're like
one hundred and fifty dollars a year and then you'll
spend like seven thousand dollars on UFLE.
Speaker 2: Okay, but all those subscriptions add up together to one
hundred and fifty times, like six subscriptions. Who's paying for
all this? I think I just put my YouTube TV
on pause.
Speaker 1: Too, A pause.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm never here. I need to pay hundred dollars
a month for YouTube TV. It's one hundred dollars a
month something like that, like eighty nine. Oh wow, yeah okay,
I'll never hear Yeah, barely live here.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's true. Are you so excited to move back
to New York?
Speaker 2: When I so? I live in NewYork for fifteen years
and I moved here and I was like so done
with New York. I was just like I need a break.
I don't want this. I don't want this. Describing from
hustle culture and I have a good run here. Yeah,
bought a house. Yeah, and then I changed my mind. Yeah,
I just I'm bored. Time to change your mind right
after you buy a house, yeah, one year into it. Yeah,
it's really smart, after you spend all your money out
of house.
Speaker 1: I just I miss being.
Speaker 2: Surrounded by New Yorkers. I feel a little like lethargic here.
I feel like I'm not that like excited to do
anything here. Like my career is in media. I want
to be in media in New York. I want to
like walk to everything, like I want you this spot.
If I wrapped party the other night, I was so
excited to go, but like I was in the car
for forty five minutes each direction. Yeah, and like the
room was like a quarter of the way fool And
I was like, people don't want to do anything.
Speaker 1: In La Yeah, nobody. Everyone just stays. It's so easy
to just stay inside. Yeah, especially now when it gets
dark early and cold. I'm just like its feel stayed.
Speaker 2: Your place is so perfect and amazing, Like why would
you leave?
Speaker 1: And That's what That's how I feel. So I'm moving
to Palm Beach, so I have a perfect place here
and I'm like, you know what, I'm going to go.
Speaker 2: Well, at least i'll be get like close to you
and it will be in the same time zone.
Speaker 1: Something recently that said New York is sinking under the
pressure of all the skyscrapers. It's like one point seven
trillion tons of metal.
Speaker 2: I'll be dead before that really affects me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Can I say that about Miami too? And I'm like, okay,
let it sink.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's gonna be underwater in for yours. I won't
be alive. I don't care in a few years, I
don't have shelteron and I'm not gonna worry.
Speaker 1: About it, right, Okay, great, Yeah, I'm so excited. I'm
excited for I'm excited for our home in New York.
Speaker 2: Tim excited for ourham and pomp Beach. Yeah, you were
just showing to me. I was like, oh my god,
I'm gonna love waking up there. How many bedrooms are
you guys get there?
Speaker 1: It's two and a half.
Speaker 2: Well, I have my own bathroom. Yeah, that's really important
to me.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, we got you covered. Well, we got you covered. Well.
I have my own bathroom in New York.
Speaker 2: No, but that's a different price point. You're not paying
for you to live in Florida. I have to pay
for it.
Speaker 1: Yes, I am.
Speaker 2: Can he get us an apartment in New York. It's
just it's weird staying with your friend and her man
and like you have to poop in the morning, and
like he's around, right, I don't want to have your shits. Yeah,
not that I care if your boyfriend's attracted to me,
but I just I don't need to be in the mix.
Speaker 3: You know, he's in the bagel business. He's got to
be out by like four am.
Speaker 2: Okay, so I can just take I can put in morning.
Speaker 1: H Yeah, he'll be He'll be up at like two
or three am making dough.
Speaker 2: Oh okay, he won't be around. This is perfect, This
is perfect.
Speaker 1: Yeah. No, he's signing up for a tough life that
he's never He didn't need to do it.
Speaker 2: I just I imagine you're just in the T shirt,
just like bringing people up at the register. That gonna
be you.
Speaker 1: No. No, everyone keeps saying that Santina was just on
the podcast and he was like, are you gonna be
working behind the counter? Like, no, my service industry days
are behind me.
Speaker 2: Okay, that's what everybody else is like, this is the
decent thing to do, and you're like, absolutely not. Everyone's like,
obviously you're gonna support your partner, and you're like, oh no, no,
I'm not doing that. That's crazy.
Speaker 1: Working a cash register save him some money. Well, if
I am working the cash register, I'm getting paid. I'm
not saving anyone money. I'm not doing community service. If
he's like, even, okay, what if he pays.
Speaker 2: Your rent and your bills, He's not going to Okay,
that's not the setup. Okay, then he has he has
to pay you an hourly wage.
Speaker 3: What if he hires a twenty two year old blonde.
Speaker 4: To do it?
Speaker 1: Fine, fine, let him, let me pray hot, let him
fucking cook. He likes older women. If you hired a
forty year old, I'd be more scared.
Speaker 2: I just think men that want to cheat are gonna
cheat on you, and there's like nothing you could do
to stop. You could work all day long at that
register and he'll still find the way to fuck the
other girl totally if he wanted to.
Speaker 1: Totally.
Speaker 2: I think people make it their whole personalities, like, and
I understand where it comes from. If you've been cheated
on then your paranoid all the time. But I think
people make it their whole personality to like read people's
emails and their texts and like figure this out. It's like,
I don't have someone cheat on you, they're going to
cheat on you own.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't do that. Do you read text or emails.
Speaker 2: I've only had one partner that I like went through
their stuff, but he was like cheating on you with everybody,
and I had already caught him cheating one time, and
like the feeling never went away, and I caught him
a second time doing that too, and after that. I've
never had a partner whose phone I ever went through. Yeah,
I never. I've never. I've been in serious relationships with
actually some pretty nice people who just never We don't
all have the other problems, right, but trust was never
an issue for me.
Speaker 1: And that's a blessing. Yeah, I mean I I in
my first marriage, I definitely went through his phone. And
I think the thing is when you go through someone's phone,
if you're looking for something bad, you're gonna find it,
you know, even if it's just like something It was
like something from his ex wife that his ex wife
sent years ago when they were married, and I was like,
how fucking dare you take me to the same restaurant
you took her to it? He's like, whoa bitch.
Speaker 2: You will find something that you don't like. And I
don't know things that I say will sound flirty. I
can imagine a partner of mind like reading something I
say to somebody else and be like, eh, I don't
love the tone of that.
Speaker 1: But I know that it didn't mean anything, right, Yeah,
I mean for me, it's like I have all these
friends that are male comics, like Leo and Santino, and
I always am like, love you by you know, and
like I think if I saw him doing that, I
would be like, it's.
Speaker 2: Different when a woman does it. I don't just from
Nam says that shit.
Speaker 3: I know.
Speaker 1: Also, his friends are like the hottest people alive?
Speaker 2: Are they?
Speaker 1: And then mine look like you found them under a
rock in the woods. No, no, no, no, my male
friends opposite sex friends.
Speaker 2: You know that I'm pretty attracted to some of your
male comedian friends.
Speaker 1: Want in particular, Oh my god, I love a.
Speaker 2: Toxic male comedian. I you know, you think I would
have learned, But why learn? Why learn?
Speaker 3: I learn?
Speaker 2: Just keep doing the same thing.
Speaker 1: When you can just keep getting curb stopped my life,
why would you ever learn?
Speaker 2: I just feel like if I got really happy, it
would stop my comedy. Like if I just was in
like a healthy, solid, stable relationship, Like what would I
write about if I wasn't just continuously sleeping with comedians?
Speaker 1: Right, And you know you're doing it for the plot
and we all appreciate you.
Speaker 2: But how is your heart? My heart is failed because
I have wonderful women in my life, right. I have
a great relationship with my dad, I have great friends.
I love my job. It's like the one missing piece.
But honestly, Vogue announced that it is embarrassing to have
a boyfriend. So also, I'm not embarrassing British Fogue. I know.
But they speak the same language there, Yeah, I know, but.
Speaker 1: They like stay inside in the brain and just like
think about death. Remember that was the country that they
all were put their head in the oven. They had
to like switch the oven.
Speaker 2: I think people do that here too, not heading the oven.
My heart's great, I'm sure heart heart's great. I'm okay,
I'm hanging on by a threat. Okay, you have a boyfriend, so.
Speaker 1: I do have a boyfriend, but I don't have your job.
Speaker 2: I do like my job. I feel the job. I
mean to be like, really corny, I do this. I've
done the podcast for eight years, and I feel like
I contribute positively to the world.
Speaker 1: You really do. So many people DM me when I
announced I was doing a new podcast, being like get
rain On, we need to see you, and Raina we
wanted you, and I was just like, Okay, she's coming.
Speaker 2: You're funnier than I am, so they're gonna be disappointed.
Speaker 1: Ah, but you're smarter.
Speaker 2: Maybe in some ways. No, but I'm really excited. I
did your last podcast, and this is really nice to
just be solow with you. Yeah. Yeah, it's a new chapter.
I was thinking this morning. You and I have been
to Paris together three times. Most people have been to
Paris in three times in their whole life. Yeah, I've
been to Paris three times with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah. The last one hit the skids a little ran
away from me.
Speaker 2: On the last one, I spent like eight hundred dollars
to leave like ten hours earlier. I wanted to get
the fuck out of their Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you were struggling. You were struggling.
Speaker 2: I just I think that I have a pretty long fuse,
but when I hit the end of it, there is
no talking to me out of it.
Speaker 1: I'm just oh, I know, no, I know. I saw
you in YSL looking at flights.
Speaker 2: You are you know what you're like one of your
superpowers is I don't know if you know this, but
like when you are like really like not in a
good mood, or you're not enjoying something, or you're like done,
you do not show it on your face or in
your voice or in your body. Maybe like with your
romantic partner you do. I don't know, but like I
have been like in situation with you around like I
know that she is done, but like you have a
smile on your face, Like I don't know how you
do it. I'm not capable.
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about.
Speaker 2: I really feel that you are capable of it.
Speaker 1: I sit there and I just you can start to
see my double chin, and I just like fall into
a fucking daze and then just I just dissociate.
Speaker 2: Like the other night at dinner where you just stopped talking.
I was like, Berre isn't talk in thirty minutes.
Speaker 1: I knew You're right to go.
Speaker 2: I was done.
Speaker 1: Honestly, the MVP of that night was Shashank. At the
end of the dinner, when he just got up and
left after, I was like, I would go get the car.
Speaker 2: I was like, the cars just gonna be waiting. This amazing.
Speaker 1: He's like he was more done than me. I was like, honestly,
stick a fork in. Us were cooked.
Speaker 2: I just I feel like women can't do that. Men
can get up and do that. Yeah, if a woman
did that, it would be.
Speaker 1: Like, oh yeah, bitch. Yeah.
Speaker 2: But he left to get the car. I was like,
what a prince.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what a prince.
Speaker 2: Okay, So but even that night, you were pleasant, Like
I am not. I am visibly unhappy when I'm ready
to stop doing something.
Speaker 1: No, I know, RNA, I've yeah, I know.
Speaker 2: I always thought I hit it. You told me I
don't ide.
Speaker 1: You can't really button shit up at all. Or like
when I was doing the photo shoot at your house
and you were having a bad week, it was not
a good week for me to do a photo shoot.
You came in, I had something hung.
Speaker 2: On your railing.
Speaker 1: Which it's a house. It's built for you know, it's
built for that. She walked in. You're like absolutely not,
and you pulled it off there and I was just like,
Whitney was like.
Speaker 2: Boo, you could say and hang out you go, No,
you don't want that. Everyone knows you don't want that.
The energy is that you don't want that. And I
was like, no, totally stay, but you don't take advantage
of that because other people be like, oh, she's saying stay. Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I'm like we gotta go. Yeah, we gotta fucking
on delay this.
Speaker 2: You see you see in set my soul?
Speaker 1: Yeah, are you on the apps right now?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Oh, are you gonna get back on?
Speaker 2: No? I'm in this like amazing place where I basically
like have been writing this thing which we will talk about,
but like I dated about it. No, okay.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So I had a situation where I was in love
with this guy and he like shattered my heart and
I was like, I want to like one of those situations,
just one, just one one. And I was like, I
want to date this year. I want to be intentional.
I would do everything I want to do, like matchmakers
and apps and you know, fuck my friends and do
all these things. And I did all those things and
I just started writing about it and I was like,
this is like pretty funny. And I put together this
whole thing and I was like, I think this is
a comedy hour, Like I think I've written something. And
I've never done a solo tour. I've been on tour
with Ashley for seven years for Girls Got to Eat.
She's a solo comedian and she's so amazing. And she
went on a solo tour this year. She had forty
three sold out shows and shot a special and it
was so inspiring. And you and I both like went
with her and opened the shows. And I just kept
writing and I was like I think, I think I
really enjoy this and I have something to say and
this is like deeply funny. And I just started talking
to my agent about it and I was like, I
want to do a tour. I have like something to say.
I love performing. And so I announced my tour, my
solo tour in December, and it's twenty cities. I cannot wait.
I'm going to travel over the country and You're gonna
with me, and I'm just like I can't wait to
do it with you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so excited. I mean, we've been working on
it together. I've been helping you with writing and figuring
out structure of you know, because you're such a presence
on stage, like truly. I mean you opened my special
in Chicago and my girl who did my hair and
the girl who did my makeup were like, Reina was
the best one. And I was like, that's crushing to
hear it. After I filed the special that I'm like,
that's devastating. That is a fucking kill shot to hear
when I was filming a special, But They're like, yeah, no,
Raina was the best.
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh, yeah, no, that's good.
Speaker 1: That's good. That's great. But you are such a presence that,
like you just really command the stage. And I know
you've been performing for live shows, but comedy is such
a different thing. But you just have the confidence. You're small,
but you've got a lot of charisma, and like it's
just such a good thing that like, once the structure
is there and the jokes are kind of cooked into it,
it's gonna be It's gonna be such a great show.
And I can't wait to be on the road with you.
Speaker 2: I'm just to have you there with me. I mean,
I've never done a solo tour. I've always been with
Ashley and our assistant and a tour manager and a
videographer and like I've never done this, like solo tours
to like have somebody I love so much with me
in these moments and just like mean so much to me,
and I just I had to I am gonna get
back to the dating appic that you've asked me and
connect this. I'm gonna land the plane. But I just
started writing these stories that I just figure like relatable
and everybody goes through these things and it's a lot
of like trial and error and failure and like figure
out what you want. I think that dating has changed
so much, I mean the last couple of years with
like Ai and chatchypt and the way that people just
approach love and even like the articles are coming out
now saying like having a boyfriend is embarrassing, Like people
are thinking about love differently, and I was. I had
so much fun writing it and I feel so proud
of it and I'm so excited to do it that
like actually putting my energy into that for the last
couple of months has made me be like.
Speaker 1: I literally don't care about dating at all.
Speaker 2: It's like not in my airspace at all crazy. I
don't think about it at all. I mean, I'd like
to get fucked more.
Speaker 1: And that's what we've been saying, and that's.
Speaker 2: What we're here to say.
Speaker 1: That's what we're here to tell everyone. We're all trying
to get fucked more.
Speaker 2: I'd like to get fucked more. But I'm gonna take
all these experiences and I'm gonna monetize them now, and
I'm gonna talk about my trauma on stage and I'm
gonna like be able to like make other people feel
like they have similar experiences and they're heard and laugh
at the problems and the sadness and all the things.
Because a lot of these things were really hard. I
was like in love with my best guy friend. It
was fucking terrible. But like to turn that into art
is like really fun and exciting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the whole point of getting fucked up in
life is to eventually turn that pain into something that
everyone else can benefit from, including yourself.
Speaker 2: I mean, nobody is more open and honest than you are.
And like you're a storyteller too, Like I think that
you're just the funniest person. The way you write is
like unbelievable. The way you're like, can weave a joke
and the analogies and the callbacks, Like you're so brilliant
at it, but it's just storytelling, Like it's not observational humor. Yeah,
and like everything you do is so personal and like,
I just I think it's I don't want to be
like it's sound brave, but it's like a real art
to be able to do that and have people care
about your life. Yeah, and you're just so good at it.
Speaker 1: Thank you. I try. I mean, I just, you know, whatever,
we're all our own worst critic except for you.
Speaker 4: You honestly, you honestly think the world of yourself, and
I think that's something that's something everyone should take page
out of your book.
Speaker 2: No one is more confused about me and not having
a boyfriend than May. I'm just like, I'm so awesome.
All these people that aren't awesome I have relationships, and
I don't get it. You are so awesome and very
hot and smart and cool and fun. But you said
to me the other day, you said something like I
don't want to hang out with her and that sucks
for her because I'm awesome, And I was like, that
sounds like me, and really, I.
Speaker 1: Was channeling you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like I'm never gonna talk to her again,
and that sucks for her because I'm great.
Speaker 2: I don't know, I just I've always felt like there's
always going to be somebody who is prettier than me
and skinnier. It makes more money, more successful and funnier,
and then I always dopid fucking things. But like, that
shouldn't make you not like yourself, right, There's always gonna
be people that are like more whatever it is than you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent. No, you do have a really
you have a lot of self esteem.
Speaker 2: That's great.
Speaker 1: My dad really loved me, so it did mine. But
my mom really really did it.
Speaker 2: So my mom was like, you think you're taking two
steps forward, we're gonna take three back.
Speaker 1: My Mom's like, you think you're getting married, I'm gonna
kill myself.
Speaker 2: It's crazy that that.
Speaker 1: I know you think you're it's your wedding day, dig dog,
it's my funeral, bitch.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you get a lot of confidence
from your current relationship?
Speaker 1: Yes, a ton he really hypes me up, and he's
just he's so spat. He just thinks the world of me.
He's like he does you know he's just like impressed.
He's he's never really dated anyone who has had anything
going on before shots fired.
Speaker 2: I like it insults him and everybody he's ever dated,
Like it insults so many people will also giving yourself
a compliment, it was amazing rid a coded itself. He
just like so I was I sat with him for
like your special and like he was the first time
he'd really seen you do comedy, and a lot of
stuff you'd written was about other guys, and like we
didn't know how he was going to take it, and
I was just like, so he wasn't for you, and
he was like I just look at her on stage
and I'm just like I can't believe that's my fucking girl,
Like look at her go, and like that's how we
all want our partners to feel about us, to like
look at us do something and be like it's outside
of them and has nothing to do with them, and
they can watch you do this thing and be like
so amazed by you and like you're worthy of that amazement.
It's not like you're like working at Salesforce just like
a pitch deck.
Speaker 1: No shade to anyone who's working at salesforce.
Speaker 2: Just a good job, great, you're sales Not everybody could
be on stage selling dick jokes, but like he was
just there was no competitiveness, there was no jealousy, and
that's huge.
Speaker 1: And that's huge because I think in my first marriage,
and I know in my first marriage, there was an
undercurrent of like he wanted to be he's funnier than me.
First of all, I will say that, hands down, he
is the funniest person I've ever met my entire life.
But he really wanted to be on stage doing that.
So there was like a little bit of like grading
in it. And like mister Manhattan that's what we're calling him.
He doesn't. He has his own shit going on, and
he's just like happy to be there.
Speaker 2: You know, Oh this could I thought you met your
ex husband. I was like, wait, why Manhattan?
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, mister Manhattan is so I was current.
Speaker 2: We had Estra Prel on our show and we were
talking to her about like the times that people say
that they're most in love with their partner, and that
everybody says like it's when I can see them doing
something that I'm like so proud of them doing, and
it's outside of myself basically, and like he just was
so proud of you. And it wasn't even like, yes,
he's enamored by you and thinks you're beautiful and you
look so gorgeous, but he was just like the pride.
I never even crossed his mind, Like I just listened
to talk for an hour of fucking other dudes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well it crossed his mind. Let's not get a
twisted At the at the very end of the night,
He's like, thank God, my friends weren't there because they
would think I'm a cock. And I was like, Gus
the special that just came out as the one that
we're referring to. But he then brought one of his
friends to come see me at the Comedy Store and
I had a really good set and his friend loved
the show, and I think that like relieved some tension
for him because he was like, oh, my friends like
actually think it's funny and they get it that like
I'm not actively fucking somebody in the MLB right now.
It is uncomfortable though, Like no, I mean remember in
the beginning of before everyone went on stage, I looked
out to the crowd and he was front and center
and I was like to get him to move. I
was like, move him?
Speaker 2: What do we What the fuck is I'm not gonna be.
Speaker 1: Sitting there talking about like sucking another guy's dick, looking
in his eyes, And then if I look to the right,
my dad's there, Like I can't, like I'm gonna fall apart.
Speaker 2: This is like Novice comedy audience. Like it's like he
doesn't know that. Like people think like I want to
sit right in the front support her, and nobody in
comedy wants you anyway. I don't want anybody in my
family or my friends in my eyesight at all. Never.
The first show I ever did, the person I ever
got on stage, I invited like everybody I knew. It
was like Fisher Price my first show. We sold out Carolines.
It was like four hundred teth I invited like my
dad and my family and actually say all of our
friends and my friend's moms and everybody sat in the
front table, like right right next to the stage, and like,
why did I do that? It went great, was.
Speaker 1: Great, but obviously there was no issues and everything was great.
Speaker 2: It was perfect. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, so when you are ready to get back on
the apps, I have somebody to help you with your profile.
I'm so glad this came up. I'm so glad I
came up. I'm so glad you reminded me of this
email because I forgot about it and when I first
got it, it was like a trauma hit right to
the soul, like it shattered me. And technically this dating
coach was doing me a favor, so I had to
respond and say, may you kill you? Literally They're like, oh,
she's clinically depressed. We'll give her one more Nutch.
Speaker 2: If you posted this, this will go viral. And also
to give a little background, yes, you were single at
the time and he was going to help you with
your dating profile. And like what he wrote would make
anybody be like, I don't know if I should be
on this earth any.
Speaker 1: Literally, it's so okay. So he took my hinge profile
and I don't know what do we say? He tore
it to shreds.
Speaker 2: I've never honestly he really was like, I how mean
can I be? Can I?
Speaker 1: Yeah? So the first thing he says is the dating
me prompt is not to be mean a terrible first impression.
This is the first thing someone sees about you, and
you're letting them know you're gonna tear their asshole up
and ruin their life, unless this is the impression you'd
like to leave. And I can't even remember what I
said dating me. It's like I think swallowing a cheese
grater or like eating nails. Like I'm wondering what it said.
It said something funny. It was like my prompts on
my profile were just like short and funny because I
just was like, what I'm gonna say, Like, oh, I
want you to take me on long walks and like
we do hot yoga together, Like no, I'm not gonna
put all of that, and also I don't want that,
so I'm looking for. Prompt is again just setting an
expectation that you don't take yourself seriously in the dating realm,
that you expect everything to be a situationship. Let's do
the opposite. Hear and vocalize what you're after exclamation point.
Speaker 2: Okay, great, So I thought I was trying to be
light and funny, but sure, great.
Speaker 1: Typical Sunday prompt is again just telling the reader that
you're going to ruin their lives.
Speaker 2: I don't all that.
Speaker 1: My typical Sunday Prompt was contemplating the sweet release of death.
Speaker 2: That sounds like you're gonna read your life not there.
Speaker 1: As you are all too aware of. Having the joke
land on stage is a challenge having the joke land
and writing and is infinitely more complex.
Speaker 2: First of all, I fuck you. I don't agree that
was hilarious.
Speaker 1: What the fuck are you talking about? It's hard on stage?
What do you know about stage?
Speaker 2: What are you telling me about being a comedian?
Speaker 1: You?
Speaker 2: This is your job.
Speaker 1: You're not even good at this. Don't talk me about
my job. And here's something that made me mad. He's
not somebody that I would ever want a date, you
know what I mean? I'm like, why am I taking
advice from somebody that looks like a dollar store fucking
Pedro Pascal, like a sales rack, clearance rack Pedro.
Speaker 2: But I think about that all the time, Like why
would I care? I don't care about your opinion. I
wouldn't live the life you live, right, I don't want
to be like you. Why would I take your opinion?
Speaker 1: Right? We don't take advice from people who you know,
we don't what is it? We don't take advice from
people whose lives we don't want. Yeah, is there anything
else that I should do?
Speaker 2: There's something about cheese.
Speaker 1: There's something about cheese. Yeah there was. There was one
in the beginning where he's like, this doesn't tell me
anything meaningful about you except for the factor you like cheese,
And I'm like, that's all you need to know? Oh yeah,
right here. The biggest fun your profile is personal disclosure.
There isn't a single tangible thing on your profile about
you besides liking cheese, Like, that's all you need to
know is that I'm not lactose. Feed me a fucking
grilled cheese and I'll be happy.
Speaker 2: I also think that that's kind of a well, I'll
talk about like best dating practices, but that is a
conversation start. He also ripped all your photos to shreds. Yes,
it was a really long email. He put a lot
of thought into making you really upset.
Speaker 1: He really hate fucked that email, Like, he really hate
fucked that email.
Speaker 2: So, I mean at its core. So on our show,
we've had her name's Logan Uri. She's the chief data
scientist at Hinge. She's a brilliant genie whatever. Three times
and we've talked a lot about like what people look for,
how to engage people with your photos and the prompts,
and like there's a whole science to it. Blah blah blah.
We've had lots of people on there, like experts in
this realm. I don't think his advice is bad. At
its core. His advice is like, show people something about
you that they can latch onto. Say things that people
can like continue a conversation with you about. Don't make
everything like sarcastic or negative or biting. I don't know
if that's what you're saying to you, but like that
is the general advice. Like be light, share something about
yourself that makes you unique.
Speaker 1: But be light. I'm clinically depressed. Like that makes you Yeah,
like be light.
Speaker 2: That's not me.
Speaker 1: I'll never never walked into a room and anyone's ever
said she lights up the room.
Speaker 2: You light up my life, not the room. And you're like,
I don't want to I don't want people to have
this energy for me. No, But I think it's core.
He meant like, share something like meaningful about yourself that
people can latch onto and talk about that makes you different.
You're like, I share that I'm depressed. Yeah, but like
it's so mean and over like, I would never take
advice from somebody that was speaking to me like that.
I can't believe a professional would give somebody advice like that,
even if that is genuinely what he felt about you,
which he did not hold back. And you said something
to me that I thought was like so poignant. You said,
like the person that would like me will read that
and think this stuff is funny.
Speaker 1: Well to that to that point, so I think I
did tweak slightly something, But I I really didn't take
his advice because I was so offended by that email.
I was like, I mean, I'm not going to implement
this advice. I think I switched something to be like, well,
I like flowers randomly or like, you know whatever, something minor.
But when I matched with my current partner on Hinge,
he had the same exact profile as I did before
fucking Ike Turner got a hold of it.
Speaker 2: Like it.
Speaker 1: He was like, I'm weirdly attracted to the clinically insane.
I'm weirdly afraid of small talking elevators like I don't
remember what the third one was. But there was no
there was no like in depth information on him. I
could just tell he was funny and hot and tall.
That's all I needed to know.
Speaker 2: But that's that's what most of us need to know.
I mean, I think we're just shopping on these dating
apps for somebody who's like relatively inappropriate age not you,
but other people, and relatively live in the city that
we want them to live in, and like look good
enough to maybe hook up with them, and then like
we take a chance, like right, people try to like
game dating apps like that's the science, and there's some
science to it. You know. They say you shouldn't have
a drink in your hand in every photo, you should
be so low.
Speaker 1: I mean maybe the people with a drink in a
hand in every photo it's trying. They're trying to let
them know I'm a raging alcohol party I FU and
like that is good information because like when I have
seen that, I swipe left because I'm like, yeah, I'm
not gonna go out with the act of alcoholic.
Speaker 2: Yes, if I saw I'm attracted to the clinically insane,
I was swipe no.
Speaker 1: Would you see? I was like, show up in my
street jacket.
Speaker 2: I'm too sane.
Speaker 1: Oh, Reina, do you think you're so sane? You really
just have a real lack of self Awarrens.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like my insanity is more self harming, you know,
like I share it with you and other people, not
real some harm. But yeah, I just think that like
people try to like game this and you said I
like cheese. That is a conversation opener to me. It's
just I mean, this isn't that deep, Like we should
be on dating ass we want to have a little
bit of fun. Like if it feels so heavy and deep,
I don't think that you should be on dating apps.
I think that you're gonna like spiral out and crash
out and really upset yourself. Like if I say something
it was just like Jesus is so important to me,
I'd be like, what kind of fucking cheese you like?
And like then then you change two conversational sentences and
go on a date and see if we want to
buck each other.
Speaker 1: That's all we're trying to do.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's that deep.
Speaker 1: It's not that deep. I have the hiccups.
Speaker 2: Well, what's this book you have?
Speaker 1: Oh, we're gonna do Word of the Week. I've got
a word for us.
Speaker 2: Don't worry. I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Do you want to do it, now we can.
Speaker 2: Do you want their dating app tips? Since you did
meet somebody on a dating app, do you have like
tips for how to meet somebody? How much would you do?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Rena, I's here's my tip. Go to Rena Greenberg's
fortieth birthday party, and then when you're going back into
the city, decide you're going to fuck a young guy
and never talk to him again, and then lower the
age parameters down to twenty five just to take an
old young buck for a ride and then meet the
love of your life.
Speaker 2: Okay, so if you guys just replicate that exactly.
Speaker 1: But I think, no, I don't think there like you said,
I don't think there is actually a science to it,
like I don't or did you say there is a science?
Speaker 2: No? I think that, like you know, you hear from
everybody like being like you least expect it, you'll find somebody.
But what I find the crux of that advice means
is like when you just de escalate. And yes, I
know that it's hard when you want a partner so
badly it makes you sick. I know it's hard to
say to yourself like, oh, just be chill about it.
Like I validate that that's very hard, but like if
you do just take it a little bit lightly and
you don't take this so seriously. Like what you did
was just be like I'm gonna find somebody hot that
I got have fun with, and like it wasn't deeper
than that. If you the opportunity to do that, I
think you like open yourself up to be the most
genuine you that you can be. Like, did you feel
like you were like the most of you?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I really, I mean I was just myself. I
was present, but he like he got thrown for a
curve because his dad showed up.
Speaker 2: I forgot even his dad on the first day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I met his dad on the first day, so
he was not himself. Like we were bantering so much
before we met up. He was so funny, so cool whatever.
When he got when we got to dinner, he was
like I could feel his anxiety and he was, you know,
trying to drink it off, and I was like, let's
just do mushrooms. So so we did mushrooms and that
is like how the night kind of unfolded. But like
I do think both of us went into it with
no expectation of ever seeing the other person again, Like
I think we've bought Like I know that we've talked
about it, like we both were like, yeah this is
I live in la he lives in New York. Like
we're never going to see each other again. We're just
gonna go have fun.
Speaker 2: Yep. So if you I mean it's hard to manufacture
that attitude, Yeah, it's hard to manufacture that. I don't
give a fuck. But like if you could just bottle
that a little bit, well, yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think too, because like I was intentionally dating before,
you know what I mean, and I just kept getting
my fucking head slammed in the pavement because guys like
will lie and say that they're looking for something and
they're not or they're just not interested in you, which
is devastating. And I don't understand.
Speaker 2: It's cray. I would be.
Speaker 1: Ill.
Speaker 2: I've tried it.
Speaker 1: You're kind of into women. I tried, like on Wednesdays,
on Wednesdays, you're into girls.
Speaker 2: I tried one day a week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, No, I mean there's no advice I can give. I.
I don't think I did anything revolutionary except for just
try and like have it not be so serious.
Speaker 2: But I think that's going to be the kind of
person in a relationship to that isn't like do what
I did.
Speaker 1: Yeah no, I also don't do what I did dating
A twenty seven.
Speaker 2: It worked out. I love him so much.
Speaker 1: He's the best. He's the best, and I love him
so much. Back off.
Speaker 2: Don't think anybody's worried.
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't think I well, you tell me. I don't
think I give off like I'm gonna flirt with your man.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, no, you I trust inherently because
that's prettyrue. No, that's not that's not why, because you're
because of the brand of woman you are, Like, you're
not the kind of woman that's gonna do that. You
know how painful it is for it to be done
to you, and you're not gonna do that. You're also
you're just like mature. You're an adult and your friend.
And I think women who lack maturity and confidence and
which you do not lack. I think it's a lack
of confidence thing to get try and get every man's
attention in the room.
Speaker 2: I find it so weird. And I guess I have
empathy because I know where it comes from. It comes
from self hatred. It comes from needing a lot of
attention to like fill this void in yourself to feel
like worthy. But I can't even explain it, Like any
time a friend of mine is even remote, if somebody's
gone on one date with somebody, if somebody has said
to me that guy across the room is cute, I
don't like that guy. I have no that guy becomes
my brother. I have no interest in them, and I
can't even I don't think I've had one experience where
anybody could refute that is exactly what I'm like. It's
not even about like girl power and sinster it. I
just I don't know if my friends like, I'm into
that guy, I am just not into that guy. That's
not my guy.
Speaker 1: How do you feel about self proclaimed girls girls?
Speaker 2: I usually think that they are one. I don't think
it's one of those things where people are like, I'm
so self aware, and you're like, you're the only self
aware person in the room. I didn't say how self aware,
so I was confident.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, I'm not talking about you. I think
that people that go out of their way to say
their girls girls are usually not.
Speaker 2: Do you think that anybody that goes out of the
way to tell you that they're anything.
Speaker 1: Like if you have to say it's art you signaling,
it's yeah, it's it's like, just be a good friend
and be good to your girlfriends, and you don't have
to be like, I'm a girls girl.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever said that in my life,
but I guess, like, never say to me, like the
characteristics of that, that is what I am.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I would never even call you that. I
feel I do genuinely feel that most people that say
their girls girls are not like they will take the
first opportunity they get to flirt with your man or
go after someone you think is cute.
Speaker 2: I'm like downloading it. I'm like the people that I've
heard say that are the people I'm like, hid your man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, hydra man one hundred percent. And like, I
think there's just something in general about virtue signaling and
saying you're like this great thing and then you're not.
Like oftentimes we've seen in you know, media, especially, like
people that say they're one thing and then it comes
out that they're this completely different thing. Like right now,
it's coming to my head as Cosby. Cosby was like
the family Man and like, you know what I mean,
and he's like behind closed doors, he's doing it. That's
an extreme example of it. But I think oftentimes when
people virtue signal, it's just a crock of shit.
Speaker 2: I think it's so interesting how people speak about themselves sometimes,
Like sometimes I'll read emails. They're usually from publicists, and
that is their job to like hype people up. But
it'll be like number one dating expert in the world,
number one show in the US, best sex podcast, all
these things, and I'm just like, I would never speak
of myself like that. But like Ashley and I have
a really successful brand. I could give you every stat
on planet or we've done like one hundred and fifty
million downloads, but I've never like put in an email.
I'm like the number one dating pott Like I find again,
I understand that this is publicist writing a lot of this,
but when people tell you like they're the number one thing,
I'm like, I'd rather people google me and figure it
out later, right, I'd rather not have to tell you
what I'm going.
Speaker 1: It's also like what's that metric? Like what do you
what are you up against? You know, how do you
decide your number one. It feels like you just decided
and then you just said it.
Speaker 2: I mean this, Yes, there's more.
Speaker 1: A measurable way to say I'm the number one dating coach,
Like there's no measurement for.
Speaker 2: That or the number one podcast like I used to
when we first started the podcast because of the Yes,
the top one hundred are still going to be the
most downloaded obviously, but like it fluctuates which is the
number one, and it can sometimes be some of the
smaller shows. But it's it's acceleration that pushes you up
those lists. So even when people say, like we crack
the top three in the podcast charts, that doesn't mean
you have the most downloads, right, it doesn't always mean that.
It just means you like acceleration. So I yeah, I
don't know what the measure for that is. Yeah, you
make the most money. I don't know, how do you
know what other people like?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really just self aggrandizing. M just being like
I'm number one, Okay, what are you talking about?
Speaker 2: But that is an interesting question to like girls girls.
I guess the people that I've heard say that, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I have like a like a visceral reaction
to it. Now at this point, I've just had enough
experiences where I'm just like girls and girls are the
scariest people alive.
Speaker 2: Do you have friends? Do you think you have friends
that like? You have a man they like sort of like?
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Speaker 2: I guess for I'm curious, like what you think, Like
if you see that behavior once, do you have a
zero tolerance policy for it? No? I don't. Do you
think like how you do one thing is how you
do all things?
Speaker 1: No, I don't. And that's something that I want to
change because I give people a lot of I have
a real problem of like I idealize who a person
is when I first become friends with them, and then
I give them a lot of passes, like they can
do a lot of fucked up shit because I have
attachment issues. And I also it's like a deep wound
that I'm like very familiar with, Like when I was young,
when I was growing up, I was bullied constantly. I
had no real friends. I had one friend from the
whole time I was in high school, Kate Ashenberg, that
was like my only gangster. Like everyone else, I wanted
friends so bad. There's nothing I wanted more than for
people to like me. And nobody liked me. And I
was like, all right, fuck this, never mind. And the
second and I said buck that people started coming around
because it is an energy thing, like you want it
too much, you're not gonna get it whatever. But I
do have a deep wound with friendships where like I
really really want female friendships because I didn't have them
when I was younger, and so in my adult life,
I get really close to people really fast, and then
it's really hard to step back from something when you
like throw yourself all into a friendship up top. So
I give people a ton of grace. I also know
that I'm not the perfect friend, so I want grace myself.
But like when I start to see things that bump me,
I'll just be like, oh, that's interesting. I'm collecting data.
I'm collecting information, you know I'm collecting. And then like
you get to a point where like I've collected enough information,
this is not this is not you know, a two
way friendship, Like I am not getting as much out
of this as they are or or whatever it is.
I just I don't feel safe here, you know. And
I think that's the main thing, is like when I
really stopped to I stop feeling safe. Like I'm scared
to get out of it because I still don't want
to lose the companionship, the closeness, the friendship. I still
have a lot of fear around that.
Speaker 2: But like I.
Speaker 1: I have to like protect myself. So no, I'm not
as good as I want to be about like seeing
bad behavior and removing myself.
Speaker 2: What about you, I don't know that. It's like you're
not bad at it. I think they're like you hit
the nail on the head. They're like, no one's perfect.
You're not perfect, and you want to be given a
pass if you mess up sometimes, And.
Speaker 1: Like I want to be given grace, but there's different
things that I want to be given grace about. Like
I if I am in a bad mood and I
can't be there for you through something, or if I
just like am having a human experience, that's fine. But
when somebody shows you something about their character and I
choose to ignore it, then that's going to bite me
in the ass later. And it never hasn't like it
always does. So it's like when someone shows you like
I'm gonna hit on your man in front of you,
and then I'm like, okay, you know, but I still
want to be your friend, and it's like, no, they
just showed you you can't trust them. And then I
just like put blinders on. But I didn't put blinders
on really because I was aware of it and I
was like, I was like, but I just was like,
still collecting information. And then when I get to a point,
I'm like, okay, this is no longer serving me, and
then I step away. But that takes longer than it
should for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've seen people do things to you and I've
been like, I think that you should step away a
little bit more, but I do. I don't know there's
a line, because you do want to give some people
some grace, and you do want to be able to say, like,
I have a lot of trauma. I recognize that trauma,
and somebody else I want to allow them to have
a human experience. It depends on me. It depends on
what the thing is. So like to me, it's like
is this a pervasive issue or is this situational I'm
actually more willing to forgive the like flirting of my
man thing than like most things. If me and you
both meet a guy at the same time at the
bar and like I feel that you're being a little
annoying about it, or I'd like his attention, and I
feel like you're kind of like encroaching upon that, I
think I could at least say to myself, Okay, this
is a friend that maybe I don't go wing women with,
maybe I don't bring my man around her, but there's
other good things about the friendship, Like this is clearly
just somebody who's very attention seeking. Attention seeking to me
is not like the nail in the coffin. I guess
we all have our own boundaries. I don't mind a
little like that. I might not hang out with you
with my man. I might not go to a bar
to meet guys with you like I have. I have
a couple of girlfriends I just wouldn't I wouldn't do
that with but like, all in all, they're like a
net positive in my life. But like people that you're
just like, Okay, I've read this story and I don't
feel safe around you, and I can't see you through
any other lens anymore, right, you know, like if it
becomes like it bleeds into all the other ways, like
I think that you're just not trustworthy. I think I
can't depend on you to like do the right thing.
Like to me, that's more of a pervasive issue. And
I have gotten much better better, I don't know, for
better or for worse. As I've gotten older. I fight
with my friends less and I have less conflict with people,
But I am able to just ask people quicker because
I'm just like, you did this thing to me, it
was on purpose. This was not a misunderstanding. There was boundaries,
they were clear, they were not vague. You crossed them.
And I've gotten better at like explaining to somebody like
you did this thing and we're done here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean I think the thing it's like
when people show you who they are, you have to
believe them the first time, and I usually believe them
like the twelfth time, and I'm just like, all right,
you know what, You're right, we're done here.
Speaker 2: Those people can be really fun, and there's the intoxicat
they're the most intoxicating and the most fun.
Speaker 1: I've talked about them before. They're crazy makers. They're just
like these people that are intoxicating and they have big
personalities and they're beautiful and they're funny and they're great,
and then all of a sudden, it's like the little
glitches start and you're like, oh no, oh no, you're
a monster.
Speaker 2: It's hard for me to put somebody like to jump
boxes with people. If I'm like super close with them
and they do something, it's I can't really put you
back in like a passive sort of like acquaintance box.
I I'm all in or I'm all out on you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like I've had a couple of friendships in the last
couple of years where like somebody has done something to
me that's just very tangible. They just they did it.
They did it on purpose. There's no excuse for it.
Isn't like a human experience. It's like you you did
something to hurt me. I communicated to you that it
was gonna hurt me, and you did it, and I
have like I can't come back from it. Yeah, I
really struggle.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it's one thing when you're younger,
you know what I mean, and you're still figuring life
out and you like, funck shit up and you make
mistakes and you're like, oh, I, you know, flirted with
this guy that my friend has a crush on and
I should not have done that, and that really hurt them.
But you like should learn that really fucking early, and
like we're just our age is too big for people
to be making these mistakes, you know what I mean.
It's just like, Okay, you didn't learn that lesson yet.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel. I feel like as you get older,
you fight less with your friends, but else you've less
tolerance for this stuff because you're just like, I don't know,
we're grown now. I think you should just like act better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that is one thing about maturing too. It's
like when friendships end, it's feels less devastating like it
used to for me feel so devastating when a friendship ended.
It would be like, I mean my best friend from college,
Like when our friendship ended, it was like a death
in the family, Like I was so broken up over it.
But since then, as I've had friends kind of come
and go, it feels a lot less of a like
a lot less of a below like it's just like, okay,
you know, not everyone's here for the long run. People
are here for what do they say? Seasons? Reasons, treasons, treaton.
Speaker 2: I also life was like long. I've certainly had falling
outs with girlfriends of mine over situations and like I'm
too in particular that I'm extremely close with, and we've
had times in our friendships where we were like very
much not speaking to each other. And so I've learned
that like you can have the fight, take a step back,
and like find each other again, and like I find
that comforting. But like what I need to hear from
somebody I need in an argument at some point, I
need to come to a mutual understanding of what happened here,
and I need to know that we are like both
sorry for what happened. We see each other, we understand
each other. I had a falling out with a guy
friend of mine about a year ago and he did
this thing to me that I just I asked him
not to do and he did it anyways, and he
was like, well, I'm gonna say you no, never do
anything I know and I would forget that.
Speaker 1: I would never do.
Speaker 2: It's sort of a conluded story. I asked him not
to do a specific thing and he was like, I
want to do it, and I was like, do not
do this, and he did it, and I kind of stop
talking to him, and he was like, I don't understand,
like I didn't think this was gonna be a big deal.
And I was like, but I told you it was
going to be a big deal, and I asked you
not to do it, and I told you this was
really hurtful, and you were just like, haha, I'm gonna
do it. Anyways, and we don't speak anymore. And if
he had said to me, like I was in a
really bad place at the time, I'm really embarrassed by
my behavior. I would do anything to take this back.
Any of those You can't like pre prescribe what you
want the apology to be. But if it was some
version of that, I could move on from it. But
like I can't otherwise, Like I didn't think you'd get
this upset about this. It's not that deep where I
can't come back.
Speaker 1: Someone undermining how you felt because they did something that
they knew was gonna hurt you is crazy, Like that's
a form of gaslighting. It's like it's like you don't
get to decide how your shitty action made me feel.
And then come back and say it wasn't that big
of a deal to move on, Like, that's not an apology.
Speaker 2: What kind of quality relationships you have with people that,
like other people have been like that's chill. Yeah, that's
how you apologize to me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 2: So if I see him across the street, oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm going to do the word of the week
because I love the word of the week and do
we want this one?
Speaker 2: Are you going to drive to guess with the word
like I'm going.
Speaker 1: To see if you know it? Okay, okay? Mallfulous, mellipulous.
Speaker 2: That's a character in a Disney movie, Malficent.
Speaker 1: Mallipulous is an adjective flowing sweetly and smoothielf, mollipulous? Come?
Speaker 2: Does it apply to food or conversation?
Speaker 1: Describes a smooth, sweet sensation? I think it can apply
to anything. Jane's mollipulous cello playing with the envy of
the other musicians.
Speaker 2: Do you know big words? Do you know like set words?
Speaker 1: Some? Okay, I want to know more. That's why I'm
doing this mellpulous.
Speaker 2: Honestly, the definition doesn't let the lord the word melifluous.
Speaker 1: Here you try and say it.
Speaker 2: This one melifluous.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the word does not flow. We're never gonna use
that word. I'm drinking some melyphalous. Come.
Speaker 2: I think it applies to melodies and nothings that are
already what.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's do it. Of course, of course, of course,
of course, of course what are you saying to me?
Speaker 2: Of course? Is that the only boyfriend?
Speaker 1: That's the only way I got my calories in college
I couldn't afford food.
Speaker 2: Currently you swallow? Of course, why do you keep saying
of course to me? Do you not? That's why would
I swallow? For what reason?
Speaker 1: But I mean it's way more complicated to like get
up in what spit it in the toilet?
Speaker 2: I can complicate my life that far. Yes, you what
does A mean? You don't?
Speaker 1: This is why you don't have a boyfriend, Rada, This
is why you're alone in life. You need to fucking
gluck lug those loads.
Speaker 2: No, I'll listen. I love to give a blowjob. I
like it more than getting oral. I think it's like
I just I really enjoy it. But unless I'm like
in a car giving a blowjob and there is no toilet,
or when there's a window. I'm worried it's gonna blow
back onto the car or your roommate would have hit
you in the face.
Speaker 1: Writo, what are you saying?
Speaker 2: Why would I swallow that? That's disgusting. No, shame of
other people want to do that.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you wouldn't. I mean, I guess
I was just taught to by who your sister? No.
The first guy that I dated in uh, not dated,
was hooking up with in high school. He's like, you
always swallow, and I was like, yes, semest g.
Speaker 2: I'm really curious, like what the average girl does, because
it listen, it's not sexy to be sitting there with
a mouthful a spit and come and you gonna walk
across the apartment and like spit it out. No, it's
not got to come back.
Speaker 1: It feels almost like you have more of it in
your afterwards if you spin it out, I know, because
you expose back and forward. It's like, just let it
go down.
Speaker 2: I just I don't need it too. I'll feel sick
all day really knowing that I did that. Yeah, really
for me?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. I I'm curious what girls do.
Speaker 1: I'm curious, Well, girlies, let us. Leave in the comments,
leave it in the comments.
Speaker 2: Okay, when you get blowjobs, what do people normally do?
What is your Uh?
Speaker 3: They were swallowers when they wanted to impress. But I
definitely dated a girl who wasn't.
Speaker 2: It's picked me to swallow, is what you're saying to me.
It's pick me girls.
Speaker 1: Don't you fucking call me pick me? On my own podcast.
Speaker 2: It's not.
Speaker 1: It's just convenient. I really think it's just down the
hatch and then I forget about it. I don't want
to have to walk. Imagine walking across my apartment.
Speaker 2: Do it all the time? Ye, I watch Wattle.
Speaker 1: I want to when there's come in me and I
have to get to the toilet, but.
Speaker 2: Not you can get.
Speaker 3: The existed for hundreds of years.
Speaker 2: That's what I want for Christmas. Wow, I'm gonna shake
your boyfriend's hand. Okay, I'll be like, what is this for.
Speaker 1: I'm like, don't worry about it, don't worry about it. Well,
he doesn't. He doesn't come from blowjobs.
Speaker 2: I think that that's pretty like fifty to fifty. I've
seen like a lot of guys just be like, I
don't know, I just can't get there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really have gone to work on it, and
I'm like, man, really, this is like the this is
one of one that I have not been able to make.
Speaker 2: Do you get off from people going down on you?
Speaker 1: I don't let anyone go down at me? Why because
it's just a it's not for me. I've had so
many guys down there bumbling around, they don't know what
they're doing. They're just like they're like licking my fucking
thigh and I'm like, what the fuck do you think
you're doing? Because you're not doing what you think you're doing.
Speaker 2: Do you only have one? I only wanted two experiences
that it either takes forever and I'm just like, this
is not pleasure for years or I get off in
two seconds and I'm like.
Speaker 1: That's never happened for me, never never see. I actually
do think my mister Manhattan could do it because I
I just he's so good in bed and like every
single way. So like maybe one day I'll introduce it
because I believe in him.
Speaker 2: I'm curious how you would I'm curious if you would
like it.
Speaker 1: I have had it done obviously, and like sometimes it's enjoyable,
but like it takes so long and I have you know,
the vibrators that I use, Like when I come it
makes the dinosaurs go extinct again. Like it's like the hardest,
Like I just think it would take so much time
for a man to do what that machine is doing.
And just a split second.
Speaker 2: It is weird for somebody to go down on you
and for you to not finish and then you go
into sex. Yeah, like I always finish, but then I'm
just sort of like, I'm done here.
Speaker 1: I don't want to have to have secks.
Speaker 2: Right, I just I don't care about it. Yeah, if
somebody's really dying to do it, I don't like I'll
swap them away and like, do you know what I do?
Speaker 1: Like a little booty eating.
Speaker 2: And a lot of people do.
Speaker 1: I can't really do it. You have you ever had
it done?
Speaker 2: I don't like anything.
Speaker 1: Rina you have to try because I was the same way.
I did not like anything back there, and then one
day someone slipped it in. They went from front to back,
and I was like, oh what.
Speaker 2: I understand that a lot of people enjoy that. It
is the quickest way to turn me off. I just
every guy I've ever been plus to stick their fingers
up my buttthole while the're fucking me. I don't want to.
I don't like it. I don't want anything back there.
Speaker 1: Mister Manhatten did that when we got to Paris, he
stuck his fingers up my ass.
Speaker 2: Did you like it?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I was constipated from the flight, so ship all over.
He's like, is that chocolate?
Speaker 2: And I'm like, no, bad, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: Put your fingers in my ass after a long flat.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that he's like, is that a chocolate
cl salt? Were you guys?
Speaker 1: Were you embarrassed?
Speaker 2: Neither? I need? No one cared.
Speaker 1: And that's how I knew that was my motherfucking man
just got like a young boy. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Does he call you chocolate croissant?
Speaker 1: No? No? Thank god?
Speaker 2: Have you gone back to fingers and butts?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 1: I don't really like it. I like he'll try and
do it every once in a while, and I'm like,
get your fingers out of my bo You want a ton?
I like a ton?
Speaker 2: Okay, doesn't a lot of people do. I'm not judging.
I'm actually not judging that. I wish. I wish I
like butt whole play because I feel like one am
I left with one.
Speaker 1: Hole yeah, what do you do? You have very snowball someone.
Speaker 2: I don't know what that means.
Speaker 3: Well, Julia Roberts taught movie theaters full of people with snowballing.
Speaker 2: Is is it when you take come in your mouth
you put it into their mouth? No? Have you done that?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: I asked me two ones and I was like, you're good.
I mean, why do you want to drink your own cut?
Speaker 2: That's so weird. I don't understand why people want that.
But I've had other weird requests I've wanted. I've had
guys want me to talk about sleeping with other guys
while I was sleeping with them.
Speaker 1: Right, I was there for that, I mean not at
the room we were talking about you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's one of the weirdest requests I've gotten. Yeah,
I'm willing to try pretty much anything, but like I
don't take like I'll do anything to them. But I
don't take any pleasure from like butt stuff, which is disappointing.
Speaker 3: This is just disconnect between in a generation of people
who grew up without cell phones as a kid and
the kids who have had cell phones looking at porn there.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's definitely a different.
Speaker 3: I remember just being happy to be there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, of course, and that's the generation I'm trying to date.
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, gen z is what do you
think of gen Z? They're not going out anymore, They're
not doing anything.
Speaker 2: They are having sex less, they're drinking less. They're i
mean riddled with anxiety. Anxiety generation like to have grown
up with social media is not a thing that I envy, No,
not at all. I can't imagine, like thinking everything I
did was going to be like shown to the world.
I actually had no idea how ugly I was, and
that was great.
Speaker 1: That was the dream, Just like not knowing how shitty
you looked and having no bar for comparison. Like I
remember in college, I thought I was that bitch. I
thought I was the hottest girl in town. I look
at pictures of myself. I know, eyebrows, I was orange,
I can I tan twice a day. I was like, yes,
it was. I had a beer belly, and I was like,
I am the hottest bitch in this time.
Speaker 2: I had busted teeth. My eyebrows were plucked within an
inch of their lives. There's one pair we would we
would thread them into it like a needle and I'd
be like, nailed it, and I'd go to wet Seal
and get my going out tops and yes, I always
had a beer belly well.
Speaker 1: And they like so when we would go out, we
would get dressed up. We'd be in tiny little dresses,
high heels. I would drive drunk in a hailstorm to
go get to go, get Dick. These gen zers they
are going out in like Nike tennis shoes. They're ubering around,
They're going home at eleven PM. I'm like, what the
fuck happened to you? Guys?
Speaker 2: Like, who would I think I was? I was running
around Bloomington, Indiana in my little Charlotte Roost dress and
stiletto heels.
Speaker 1: You were doing what we were supposed to be doing.
That's what I did too in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And I
was like, I'm never more sure that I was.
Speaker 2: That bitch I did. I drove like blacked out in
like snowstorms. Yeah, like get asked. I mean literally that
was my experience in heels all the time.
Speaker 1: I know, they're just the laziest generation. They're wearing heels,
they're staying in they're postmating Dick. Like, I'm just like, no,
you have to go out in the wild, you have
to respect the fucking game, put some cheap makeup on
your face.
Speaker 2: And then like COVID like destroyed work culture and people
aren't going to the office anymore. I mean, like so
much of my social life was the people I worked
with and then going out with them after work and
sleeping with people that I work with, and that's just over.
Speaker 1: I have colleagues.
Speaker 2: If you can't fuck them, I fucked all of them.
Speaker 1: I never did that. I never slept with because I
didn't want to have to like look someone in. It
was the worst I ever did was a neighbor. And
that was tough because, like I remember, I fucked this
neighbor and he was great, he was hot, he had
a big dick. I actually should introduce you to him.
Speaker 2: In an apartment building or in.
Speaker 1: An apartment building in Venicebela take elevators to get out,
no stairs, but we were neighbors, Like my door was
here and he was right across the hall. And I
remember one time I was walking in with an NBA
player and he was walking out and he's like, oh hey,
oh hey man, really big fan. I was just like,
this is this is blank, this is blank, and I
was just like, this is awkward. I can't do this.
I can't run into.
Speaker 2: No neighbors are rap. I fucked a neighbor and he
lived at least you could look out of your apartment
and like see the other door. This guy lived the
floor above me, so I would just like get into
the elevator and he'd be there. It was so uncula.
Oh I got that guy sucks so bad.
Speaker 1: But then he went to work and saw everyone else
you fucked, so you're just whole roster.
Speaker 2: Was most of my most my career. I worked in restaurants.
It's just assumed that you're going to like do drugs
and drugs at each other group on. Everybody was sleeping
with me.
Speaker 1: I did sleep with a bouncer when I worked at
a restaurant.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're supposed to, that's encouraged. Yeah, I love a bouncer.
Eyes were a little close together. I don't think his
mom stopped drinking when he was in utero.
Speaker 1: But he was hot enough.
Speaker 2: Was he big? Okay?
Speaker 1: I love that he didn't have tattoos. He was like
a pretty straight edge. I can't remember his name, none
of my business.
Speaker 2: There's definitely people whose names I've never learned. I was
writing about that the other day, about how easy dating
was in my twenties, because like, I just like there
was no research to do on somebody like you didn't
like you were like looking people's like Linkeodlin and social
media and their ex girlfriends and like doing all this
stuff because like there was no information to be had.
If somebody had like a nine to five in a
bed for him, I was like, that's my man. I
didn't even know people's full names.
Speaker 1: You didn't need to.
Speaker 2: I didn't need to.
Speaker 1: It didn't matter a really nice time.
Speaker 2: I didn't think about people's like trauma. I wasn't like,
you know, are we trauma bonding? I was just like,
I like his hoodie, Like I never thought about this stuff.
Speaker 1: I like his hoodie was enough to get you to
the finish line. That's that's what else was there to Yeah,
the bar was low. The bar was low. It could
have been a little higher, to be honest.
Speaker 2: But no one told me to have a higher bar.
I didn't have like all these people on social media
being like I have the most amazing, blast, healthy, stable relationship.
I didn't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and also those people on social media that are
talking about how stable and healthy and blessed their relationships
are their fucking battlefields. They're not great. The more you
talk about how good something is on social media, the
worse it is. Period.
Speaker 2: I think that that that's pretty common knowledge and it
always is tracked. Yeah, and I don't know just for
other people's relationships, I never try to. I try to
not be like jealousbou what I see in other people's relationships,
and I'm like, people have their own problems. The amount
of people I have seen get divorced even by my age,
that like I thought, for all intents and purposes, had
like solid relationships that made sense, and they're like yeah,
no wors splitting up, Like it blows my mind. So
like it's weird to be jealous of other people's relationships
because like you literally have no idea people ever, Yeah
never ever, that's what we think about Gensor.
Speaker 1: That's what we think about and Tiabo on that, that's
what we think about. Gen Zy. Well, I love you
so much, Thank you for coming. Can you tell everyone
where they can follow you?
Speaker 2: Yes? I love you so much and I truly cannot
wait to be on this tour with you, Like it
just I get so excited to do it because I
know you're gonna be with men and like to have
your feedback and your advice, and it's just it's gonna
be so much fun. So you can follow me at
Raina dot Greenberg, get tickets to my tour at Raindogreenberg
dot com, and my podcast is Girls Gotta Eat Podcast.
Speaker 1: I love you so much.
Speaker 2: I love you so much.
Speaker 1: All right, besties, thanks for tuning in to this episode
of Talking Schmidt. We'll see you next week.