Speaker 1: Dana Lashes of sard Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.
Speaker 2: It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time
for Florida man.
Speaker 1: All right, I immediately have to go to this one,
which is insane and amazing. A lot of people have
different ways to get customer attention when they're selling stuff
out and about right. So you know, like Girl Scout cookies,
they have their little table and they're all up in
their Girl Scout uniforms. And you have the Salvation Army
bell ringers when they're raising money for their amazing programs
that they do. They've got the kettles and they're ringing
the bells. This guy decided to go way above that.
According to Local ten here in Florida or there in Florida,
we're in Texas, a forty six year old man's approach
at a Florida key strip mall to sell meth got
him in trouble. He was running around with a machete
oh no sorry, throwing a beer, telling people he had
a knife. One reports that he had a knife, running
around after shoppers, throwing beer bottles while forcing trying to
force them to buy meth at a strip mall, say
deputies that's not like bell ringing. Monroe County Sheriff's Office,
they said deputies were sent to the Tavernier Town Center
and the guy, Steven Bennett, was yelling at shoppers, throwing
bottles at them, threatening one with a knife, trying to
sell meth. He said no one. The officer say, no
one was seriously hurt. Deputies found fifteen grams of meth
on Bennett. They oh, and they did find the machete.
So he was saying knife, but it was a machete
according to the police report, that's a knife. Yeah, it's
a big knife, scale pipes, all kinds of stuff. They
got him on charges of meth trafficking, disorderly conduct, battering,
possession of drug paraphernalia. He is in Key West Jail
Facility on a one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars bond.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not how you sell stuff.
Speaker 1: So in Florida a man shot and killed a bear
to protect his puppy, which I totally won't do in
Fort McCoy Marion County, and he is not going to
face charges.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: Florida made it. Remember it's the crack bear law. If
a bear is coming to kill you and kill. Then
you can shoot and kill the bear and you're not
going to go to jail because normally they would try
to take you to jail for it. This guy's dog
is bear was going to kill his dog. And now
as long as you notify Florida Wildlife Conservation within twenty
four hours, you can't.
Speaker 3: They're not going to charge you.
Speaker 1: If you're defending yourself, your life and life or your
loved ones. So this guy good story for this. Thanks
to Santa Son in that law.
Speaker 3: Stick with us.
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Speaker 3: You better thank a union member.
Speaker 2: For the five day work week. You better thank a.
Speaker 3: Union member for sick leave.
Speaker 2: You better thank a union member for paid leave. You
better thank a union member for vacation time.
Speaker 3: Foghorn, leghorn, foghorn leghorn. I want it.
Speaker 1: First off, do you know what accent was that? From
Kamala Harris? What accent even was that? So she's like you, yourmember,
Can I just hear her? I'm sorry, wand can I
just hear her say that one part? Because well, how
does she say it? I'm trying to get the annunciation
down it's very foghorn leghornish.
Speaker 2: What the five day week?
Speaker 3: You better thank a union.
Speaker 2: Member for your back, a union member for paid leave,
You better thank you.
Speaker 1: What accent is that, it's very foghorn leghorn. Listen, he aw,
he aw.
Speaker 3: It's very much like that.
Speaker 2: The same words from her, though just in the different
audience sounds bank unions, specially bake unions, but pay family leave,
bank unions for vacation time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but she's okay, well, you know the issue here,
she she's.
Speaker 3: She's paindering. It's you know, very very simple.
Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome back, everybody to the program. Dana Lash with you, your
lovable curmudgeon bottom of this first hour. I want to
I want to try to every now and then I
do this explainer about vocal presentation when you're a politician,
and I'm I'm I'm I'm going to.
Speaker 3: Get into it, but just just a word.
Speaker 1: So you probably noticed my voice has been a lot lower,
and I've cracked and all this stuff.
Speaker 3: Lately.
Speaker 1: I was a little afraid that I had nodules on
my vocal cords and I was a little.
Speaker 3: Freaked out about it.
Speaker 1: So Friday, when we were all off, went got scoped
and all this good news is don't.
Speaker 3: Have anything like that on my vocal cords.
Speaker 1: The bad news is they were quote immensely swollen and
it's due to some sort of environmental allergy. We got
to figure it out, and they put me on a
lot of rooids to try to get it because it's
been like this for months to get that down. And
I'm I was told that when I don't have to speak,
I'm not supposed to.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I met me.
Speaker 1: I'm not like going to carry around the little board
like a you know, an old pioneer character and write
stuff on my little board and show it.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do that.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I say this because I don't know the
reason I bring this up, not just to share it
with you because some of you have written and said
you sound horse or you know what's you We can
tell something's different, but because I may not be able
to as bombastically do an explainer on what I think
she's trying to do here first without informing you of that.
Speaker 3: So the yeah, as.
Speaker 1: Wan says, we may have to get Dana one of
the wick buttons. I'll explain that later. Thanks man, so
great one. I'm gonna have to I'm just gonna have
to get I'm gonna have to get with those buttons.
Speaker 3: No, don't like No, that's what we're gonna have to do.
All I did.
Speaker 1: I went in because I was terrified that I had
like nodules on my vocal cords. I could not explain
what was going on. I wasn't sick, not you know,
it was nothing like that, but it was, you know,
demonstrably different, and a lot of you had written and said,
oh I hope you feeling okay.
Speaker 3: You sound sick.
Speaker 1: And my voice cracked and couldn't sing in church and
it was just real rough. And so went in and
so I've been on these roids and I gotta go
back in a week and do all this stuff. But anyway,
long story short, they said they were immensely swollen and
that's why it was, you know, And and I'm forcing
a lot of air through them to make it work.
Speaker 3: So we'll see. I can still tell the difference, but
we'll see. Anyway.
Speaker 1: My whole point in bringing that up, like I said,
is I feel like she's trying to do and I've
talked about this for a decade what I call southern
Baptist preacher speaking technique. Now I say this as someone
who's versed Southern Baptist, so I can say that and
I don't bat an eye at me because I ain't
gonna have it.
Speaker 3: Y'all know that's what she's doing, right.
Speaker 1: It's called the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. And it
doesn't matter what ideology a politician you are. It doesn't
matter if you're black or white, if you are a man,
or if you are a woman. It is a technique
that predominantly Democrats use whenever they're speaking to large groups
of people and they need some populism. They need to
make it populismy, so they start doing this. And I've
told people before how you can read the ingredients off
of a you know, box of macaroni and cheese, and
you can make it so unauthoritative. They do this kind
of stuff to make them seem like they're one of
the people, to give it a revival flair, and to
get everybody amped up over what they don't know. They
just know that someone's accents changed, and whoa. They're very
excited about this and it's very simple.
Speaker 3: Right. I feel like I ought to do.
Speaker 1: One of our live reads in the Southern Baptist preacher
speaking technique, you know, almost just as I don't know who.
I don't know who it would be, but just you know,
as a way to sort of further illustrate.
Speaker 3: But what I'll do? What do I got here? What
do I got? I got something? Do I got something?
I got a clean xbox? I got a clean xbox here? Right,
I can there's not a lot to read on it? Well, damn,
what do we got? What can I read? I don't
want to read that. That's a I don't know what
that is. I should have thought about this. Give me
something bland and basic to read? Is it like an
aspirin bottle? Zinc? Yeah? I can't just go ahead, I
don't careful, friend, case just go out and hand it there?
You go think? You can't think?
Speaker 4: You?
Speaker 3: So what all do you have over there?
Speaker 2: I've got healthy supplements.
Speaker 1: Ca as, an entire CVS replete with receipts just over
ahead of his death.
Speaker 2: And a CVS he just handed me.
Speaker 3: He's got other big bot. I see a giant.
Speaker 1: Bottle of fiber over there supposed to Okay, sorry, so
why is it?
Speaker 3: Why is the why are the letters so little.
Speaker 1: So the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique, again predominantly Democrats,
but it's a vocal affectation whenever they want to sound
authoritative and they want they're trying to connect with people,
and they're trying to give it this revival type air.
So we're going to demonstrate the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique.
Speaker 3: And again I was raised that way. I can do
this with this essential zinc.
Speaker 1: Now, remember it's very important to have peaks and valleys
whenever you're doing these Southern Baptist preachers speaking technique. And
by that I mean you've got to bring it up
and then you've got to bring it back down. You
got your peaks and your valleys. Now that's just how
your volume and your pitch. I'm not even getting into
the accent yet, because it's an interesting one. She sounded
like a bastardized foghorn. Leghorn, y'all know that big old rooster.
Now listen here, well I say here, I say here.
I So I'm gonna demonstrate the whole thing. We're gonna
read about clean nutrition. Oh boy, with these people, this
is essential zinc. It is called essential zinc. I see
it's very important to over emphasize any consonant at the
end of a word. Essential zinc fifty milligrams. So you
got your peaks and valleys in them, right, peaks and valleys.
So they say that they're talking about this company, it's
non of course it's non GMO. They believe in clean
nutrition and being end's parent. See, you get your peaks
and valleys, and we're over emphasizing the consonants.
Speaker 3: That's why you won't what is this word? Why you won't.
Speaker 1: Find genetically modified ingredy onuns Now, See, it's very important
to punch in the face every syllable of the word
that you're reading, because that's the verbal version of an
underscore and a bold and maybe even in italic too. Right,
So keeping with reading, just how simple every day practicing
with the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique trademark pling, you
will not find a gluten, no wheat, dairy, lactose, or
artificial flavors in any of our products. Now, I see,
I see Keynes over there, like it just automatically is
like Camen. I see you sound authoritative, slightly terrifying, and
also you are inspiring some sort of reaction. What we
don't know in the person who is listening to you
and receiving the message that you are delivering to them. Right,
and so it's very simple when you're doing the Southern
Baptist preacher speaking technique, you don't want to sound too
much like Foghorn Leghorn, But you want to make sure
that you're over emphasizing and that you're getting those peaks
and valleys and that there's dynamic.
Speaker 3: You don't want to be one tone the whole time.
You got to bring it back and.
Speaker 4: Then you gotta very slowly take it back out to
create anticipation in the hawts and minds of the people.
Speaker 1: See, it also makes you sound wise because all old
people back in the days of your I think, talk
like that.
Speaker 3: So anybody can do it. She tried doing it there?
Can I hear her one more time? She tried doing it?
Speaker 2: There?
Speaker 1: She just sucks at it. I mean she's from California.
You know that's like getting sushi at Sam's.
Speaker 3: Go ahead, you.
Speaker 2: Better thank a union member for the five day work week.
Speaker 3: No, listen, you better thank her.
Speaker 2: Union number for sick leave. You better thank a union
member for pay leave.
Speaker 3: This sounds so bad.
Speaker 1: So first off, you can't have your voice like way
up there in the trees, you know, way up there
in the clouds. You got to bring it back down.
Speaker 3: So if I were her, I would say, you better
think Henry Ford for giving you that five day work week.
Speaker 1: You better think Philip the second of Spain, who back
and I think it was fifteen ninety four, gave you
the eight hour work week.
Speaker 3: See, you got it.
Speaker 1: You can't just she's just too much. You didn't even
know how to do it right. But again, she's a Californian.
Like I said, it's like getting sushi. It's it's like
you wouldn't go to Burger King and ask for a taco.
Why in the hell would you go to California and
expect her to do the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique.
You know what I'm saying, Just not the same thing.
It's not the same thing. Do you want your zinc back?
Speaker 3: You got more over there.
Speaker 2: I'll just get it there in the commercial work.
Speaker 3: Okay, all right. I was just asking. I didn't know
if it's like something you needed now or you know, you.
Speaker 1: Got a lot of stuff over there though, So she
just did that that sounded lame. The way she did
it sounded bad, and it sounds it's pandering. You better
thank the federal government for shutting down your business during
COVID making you all go broke. I mean, there's so
many that's the problem with her line of reasoning with that,
that you could take that so many different ways. Why
are we still talking like we live in the twenties?
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Speaker 2: And now all of the news you would probably miss,
it's time for Danta's quick five.
Speaker 1: So Facebook, obviously they listen to your phone's microphone. By
the way, Facebook burning hell to serve ads for stuff
that you mentioned. You know they do this right, That's
why all the stuff. Every time you talk about stuff,
it pops up in Facebook ads.
Speaker 3: This happens all the time. There was a leak that
came out.
Speaker 1: It's been reported they said four or four media says
that documents were leaked. Blah blah blah says that the
so called active listening software uses AI to capture real
time intent data by listening to our conversation. It's not
a surprise, let's see this that I don't understand.
Speaker 3: Why people are like this.
Speaker 1: Louisville Metro Police they're looking for a dude who has
defecated on the same porch multiple times over the past
week on the door their porch camera for no reason.
Speaker 3: Police confirmed with Wave.
Speaker 1: News that they've received three police reports about this alleged perpetrator.
Maybe just I don't oh, I think i'd throw open
the I think i'd try Joe Biden maneuver.
Speaker 3: At that point.
Speaker 1: The only time it's safe to kick open your dwarth
a shotgun, just say. And it's kind of weird. They're like, well,
he's not violent or trying to do fourth century I
think that's bioterrorism, So I would classify that as violent. Yes,
that's I get when you're on my property. The fun
thing about that is I get to classify your intent.
That's a consequence of trespassing on my property. If you
don't want me to misclassify your intent, don't trespass on
my property. The end, super easy, monkey poc pandemic. Monkey
pocks pandemic because they say there are fears of those
thousands infected with the disease in just one Brazilian city.
Stop having sex with dudes, dudes with dudes indiscriminately, and
maybe you won't have this problem.
Speaker 3: I know it's not PC to say.
Speaker 1: I know we're supposed to pretend like we're morons and
we don't know where it comes from.
Speaker 3: But that's where it comes from.
Speaker 1: Stop acting like it's universally applied to all of the
humans in our species because it's not carnivore. It may
not be for everyone it is. Doctors say this trendy
diet could lead.
Speaker 3: To heart issues in dementia.
Speaker 1: Stupid doctors could also lead to heart issues and dementia.
That's another fun study now that they just don't want
you to eat red meat and they want to scare
you with this medical fear born.
Speaker 3: That's all it is.
Speaker 1: And it's this stupid podcast that I'm not going to
promote by mentioning it. But some guy was saying, oh,
carnivores with your diet can contribute to overall systemic inflammation,
et cetera, et cetera. Interestingly, because my nutritionists and my
introcrinologists and my doctor said the absolute opposite.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 1: One of them is one of the most is one
of the leading medical professionals in the Dallas Fort Worth area.
So and he just doesn't he doesn't have enough time
because his practice is so successful that he doesn't have
time for podcasts. The same Americans are moving at the
lowest rate in decades, according to the Census Bureau. I
don't know if I believe this. Well, they just measured
this for twenty twenty two. They said fewer than nine
percent of Americans moved in twenty twenty two. It was
nearly twenty percent in the nineteen sixties. They're blaming a
collision of several factors, including COVID, and I think they're
all leaving blue states for red states. I don't think
that they're I don't think that this is being judged adequately.
Everybody knows the website OnlyFans. I've never been there, but
I just know that it exists because of the jokes.
So apparently some of these broads on OnlyFans they were accused.
This is the most the irony here. They're being accused
of pretending to be trans women to make money on
the platform. So they apparently put a video up and
it said to just two boys being silly with a
trans flag on it.
Speaker 3: And then how do I say this?
Speaker 1: They had on boxer shorts and they gave themselves the
fake appearance of a male copulatory organ, and the trans
Tifa got real mad and they said that you are
pretending to be trans to grift.
Speaker 3: So wait a minute.
Speaker 1: The dudes pretending to be women are mad because there
are women pretending to be men. So the dudes pretending
to be women to grift are mad that the women
are grifting off of pretending to be men.
Speaker 2: They're pretending to be men who are pretending to be women.
Speaker 3: Technically, yeah, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2: But guess what, it's all pretend.
Speaker 3: It is all pretend.
Speaker 1: This is like getting so invested in like a like
a television show or a movie that the characters actually
upset you.
Speaker 3: It's that bad because it's all pretend.
Speaker 1: It's all pretend, So how can you get so they're
I mean, they're like they're trying to get them canceled.
You know, they said these they're fake, and the trans
communities up in arms. They're apparently being threatened with violence
because that's what TRANSVA does.
Speaker 2: The way they found out was they were too beautiful
for them to believe that, they.
Speaker 3: Were too ready for people to believe that they're dudes.
Speaker 1: That's right, because they're I mean, they're not dudes, clearly,
and they don't have any mounds in their necks.
Speaker 2: Proves nobody's fooling anyone exactly.
Speaker 1: We yeah, I mean, And so the trains people got
mad because they you're too pretty to pretend to be
a dude.
Speaker 3: Just let that. Let that simmer for a minute. What
is in the world. I can't even believe this is
this is the reality of news today. That's news. That's
that's where we're at now.
Speaker 1: They they had death threats and all kinds of I
don't know if they're going to get their accounts suspended,
but they've the whole.
Speaker 3: Community who has been up and armed.
Speaker 1: This has been like the big thing all weekend and
the and their little community.
Speaker 3: How do you not? Well? But who are they?
Speaker 1: Who are they to tell them that they can't what
if they are women? Who they're women who want to
pretend to be men, who are pretending to be women?
Why can't they do that?
Speaker 2: Why can't it work like that?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: No, no, hold up? Why doesn't it work that way.
You can't just you don't get they don't get to
be gatekeepers. You can't just oh, I'm a man who
wants to pretend to be a woman.
Speaker 1: Okay, they're a woman who wants to pretend to be
men who are pretending to be women.
Speaker 2: I'll take it back at you.
Speaker 3: Huh.
Speaker 2: I'm a woman pretend to be a man. It's pretending
to be a woman who's actually a man.
Speaker 3: We're in tropic thunder territory right now. This is where
we're at.
Speaker 1: This is level tropic thunder. I can't get over the story.
This is so funny. So again there are women pretending
to be dudes who are pretending to be women, and
the and the Transtefa are all mad about it. By
the way, can you say training anymore? Is that a
word that one can say?
Speaker 2: You so? I think so.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: I'm just curious because I just remember, like in the
nineties they even like the people who would say that
they were.
Speaker 2: That's true, but I think I think they do. Like
with midget you can't say I have to say little
people now, and it's like with.
Speaker 1: That, But what is the difference between trans and tran eat.
Speaker 2: Are you talking about mechanics.
Speaker 1: I know, I just don't understand why the like letters
like mirror three letters like makes it like ah or okay, okay,
I don't you know? This is also damn stupid. People
have so much time on their hands. They invent things
to get offended about.
Speaker 2: All the pretending. And I got to pretend that I
cared about all this stuff.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I want to pretend about stuff too, and
I want to force people into making it real, right, Like,
maybe we can get that yacht after all, you know
what I'm saying, like a real one, not Marco Rubio's
little boat, just saying all right, we got more on
the way.
Speaker 3: I oh, one other thing before we go.
Speaker 1: You know how Tim Walltz was saying that he uh,
he was, that he wasn't in labor.
Speaker 3: What was he saying? He's in the labor Union's pocket.
He is the pocket.
Speaker 1: And it reminded me we're going to start calling him
mister Pocket. If you've ever seen the Ballad of Buster
or Scruggs by the Coen Brothers, it is like a
series of Western vignettes that are all tied together. It's
one of the most brilliant like Western themed it's not
a series, it's a film. It's hysterical and brilliant and
really smartly done. But Tom Waite isn't it. And he
plays this prospector and he finds this parcel of land
and his gold on it, and he's trying to find
this pocket of gold and he keeps calling out mister pocket,
and so he's out there talking to anyway. Long story short,
it made me think of that, so I'm gonna start
calling Tim Wallas mister Pockett. Thanks for tuning in to
today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast.
Speaker 2: If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe
button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.