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Speaker 1: Dana Lashes of sard Truth podcast sponsored by Keltech.

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Speaker 2: It's his laugh mission to make bad decisions. It's time

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for Florida man.

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Speaker 1: All right, I immediately have to go to this one,

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which is insane and amazing. A lot of people have

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different ways to get customer attention when they're selling stuff

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out and about right. So you know, like Girl Scout cookies,

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they have their little table and they're all up in

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their Girl Scout uniforms. And you have the Salvation Army

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bell ringers when they're raising money for their amazing programs

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that they do. They've got the kettles and they're ringing

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the bells. This guy decided to go way above that.

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According to Local ten here in Florida or there in Florida,

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we're in Texas, a forty six year old man's approach

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at a Florida key strip mall to sell meth got

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him in trouble. He was running around with a machete

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oh no sorry, throwing a beer, telling people he had

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a knife. One reports that he had a knife, running

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around after shoppers, throwing beer bottles while forcing trying to

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force them to buy meth at a strip mall, say

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deputies that's not like bell ringing. Monroe County Sheriff's Office,

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they said deputies were sent to the Tavernier Town Center

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and the guy, Steven Bennett, was yelling at shoppers, throwing

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bottles at them, threatening one with a knife, trying to

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sell meth. He said no one. The officer say, no

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one was seriously hurt. Deputies found fifteen grams of meth

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on Bennett. They oh, and they did find the machete.

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So he was saying knife, but it was a machete

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according to the police report, that's a knife. Yeah, it's

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a big knife, scale pipes, all kinds of stuff. They

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got him on charges of meth trafficking, disorderly conduct, battering,

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possession of drug paraphernalia. He is in Key West Jail

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Facility on a one hundred and twenty five thousand dollars bond.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not how you sell stuff.

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Speaker 1: So in Florida a man shot and killed a bear

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to protect his puppy, which I totally won't do in

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Fort McCoy Marion County, and he is not going to

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face charges.

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Speaker 3: Now.

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Speaker 1: Florida made it. Remember it's the crack bear law. If

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a bear is coming to kill you and kill. Then

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you can shoot and kill the bear and you're not

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going to go to jail because normally they would try

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to take you to jail for it. This guy's dog

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is bear was going to kill his dog. And now

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as long as you notify Florida Wildlife Conservation within twenty

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four hours, you can't.

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Speaker 3: They're not going to charge you.

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Speaker 1: If you're defending yourself, your life and life or your

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loved ones. So this guy good story for this. Thanks

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to Santa Son in that law.

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Speaker 3: Stick with us.

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Speaker 3: You better thank a union member.

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Speaker 2: For the five day work week. You better thank a.

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Speaker 3: Union member for sick leave.

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Speaker 2: You better thank a union member for paid leave. You

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better thank a union member for vacation time.

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Speaker 3: Foghorn, leghorn, foghorn leghorn. I want it.

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Speaker 1: First off, do you know what accent was that? From

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Kamala Harris? What accent even was that? So she's like you, yourmember,

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Can I just hear her? I'm sorry, wand can I

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just hear her say that one part? Because well, how

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does she say it? I'm trying to get the annunciation

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down it's very foghorn leghornish.

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Speaker 2: What the five day week?

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Speaker 3: You better thank a union.

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Speaker 2: Member for your back, a union member for paid leave,

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You better thank you.

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Speaker 1: What accent is that, it's very foghorn leghorn. Listen, he aw,

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he aw.

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Speaker 3: It's very much like that.

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Speaker 2: The same words from her, though just in the different

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audience sounds bank unions, specially bake unions, but pay family leave,

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bank unions for vacation time.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but she's okay, well, you know the issue here,

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she she's.

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Speaker 3: She's paindering. It's you know, very very simple.

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Speaker 1: Welcome, Welcome back, everybody to the program. Dana Lash with you, your

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lovable curmudgeon bottom of this first hour. I want to

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I want to try to every now and then I

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do this explainer about vocal presentation when you're a politician,

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and I'm I'm I'm I'm going to.

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Speaker 3: Get into it, but just just a word.

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Speaker 1: So you probably noticed my voice has been a lot lower,

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and I've cracked and all this stuff.

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Speaker 3: Lately.

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Speaker 1: I was a little afraid that I had nodules on

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my vocal cords and I was a little.

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Speaker 3: Freaked out about it.

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Speaker 1: So Friday, when we were all off, went got scoped

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and all this good news is don't.

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Speaker 3: Have anything like that on my vocal cords.

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Speaker 1: The bad news is they were quote immensely swollen and

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it's due to some sort of environmental allergy. We got

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to figure it out, and they put me on a

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lot of rooids to try to get it because it's

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been like this for months to get that down. And

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I'm I was told that when I don't have to speak,

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I'm not supposed to.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I met me.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like going to carry around the little board

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like a you know, an old pioneer character and write

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stuff on my little board and show it.

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to do that.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, I say this because I don't know the

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reason I bring this up, not just to share it

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with you because some of you have written and said

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you sound horse or you know what's you We can

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tell something's different, but because I may not be able

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to as bombastically do an explainer on what I think

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she's trying to do here first without informing you of that.

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Speaker 3: So the yeah, as.

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Speaker 1: Wan says, we may have to get Dana one of

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the wick buttons. I'll explain that later. Thanks man, so

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great one. I'm gonna have to I'm just gonna have

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to get I'm gonna have to get with those buttons.

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Speaker 3: No, don't like No, that's what we're gonna have to do.

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All I did.

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Speaker 1: I went in because I was terrified that I had

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like nodules on my vocal cords. I could not explain

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what was going on. I wasn't sick, not you know,

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it was nothing like that, but it was, you know,

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demonstrably different, and a lot of you had written and said,

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oh I hope you feeling okay.

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Speaker 3: You sound sick.

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Speaker 1: And my voice cracked and couldn't sing in church and

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it was just real rough. And so went in and

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so I've been on these roids and I gotta go

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back in a week and do all this stuff. But anyway,

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long story short, they said they were immensely swollen and

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that's why it was, you know, And and I'm forcing

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a lot of air through them to make it work.

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Speaker 3: So we'll see. I can still tell the difference, but

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we'll see. Anyway.

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Speaker 1: My whole point in bringing that up, like I said,

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is I feel like she's trying to do and I've

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talked about this for a decade what I call southern

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Baptist preacher speaking technique. Now I say this as someone

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who's versed Southern Baptist, so I can say that and

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I don't bat an eye at me because I ain't

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gonna have it.

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Speaker 3: Y'all know that's what she's doing, right.

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Speaker 1: It's called the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique. And it

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doesn't matter what ideology a politician you are. It doesn't

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matter if you're black or white, if you are a man,

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or if you are a woman. It is a technique

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that predominantly Democrats use whenever they're speaking to large groups

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of people and they need some populism. They need to

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make it populismy, so they start doing this. And I've

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told people before how you can read the ingredients off

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of a you know, box of macaroni and cheese, and

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you can make it so unauthoritative. They do this kind

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of stuff to make them seem like they're one of

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the people, to give it a revival flair, and to

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get everybody amped up over what they don't know. They

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just know that someone's accents changed, and whoa. They're very

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excited about this and it's very simple.

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Speaker 3: Right. I feel like I ought to do.

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Speaker 1: One of our live reads in the Southern Baptist preacher

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speaking technique, you know, almost just as I don't know who.

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I don't know who it would be, but just you know,

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as a way to sort of further illustrate.

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Speaker 3: But what I'll do? What do I got here? What

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do I got? I got something? Do I got something?

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I got a clean xbox? I got a clean xbox here? Right,

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I can there's not a lot to read on it? Well, damn,

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what do we got? What can I read? I don't

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want to read that. That's a I don't know what

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that is. I should have thought about this. Give me

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something bland and basic to read? Is it like an

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aspirin bottle? Zinc? Yeah? I can't just go ahead, I

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don't careful, friend, case just go out and hand it there?

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You go think? You can't think?

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Speaker 4: You?

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Speaker 3: So what all do you have over there?

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Speaker 2: I've got healthy supplements.

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Speaker 1: Ca as, an entire CVS replete with receipts just over

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ahead of his death.

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Speaker 2: And a CVS he just handed me.

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Speaker 3: He's got other big bot. I see a giant.

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Speaker 1: Bottle of fiber over there supposed to Okay, sorry, so

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why is it?

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Speaker 3: Why is the why are the letters so little.

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Speaker 1: So the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique, again predominantly Democrats,

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but it's a vocal affectation whenever they want to sound

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authoritative and they want they're trying to connect with people,

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and they're trying to give it this revival type air.

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So we're going to demonstrate the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique.

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Speaker 3: And again I was raised that way. I can do

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this with this essential zinc.

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Speaker 1: Now, remember it's very important to have peaks and valleys

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whenever you're doing these Southern Baptist preachers speaking technique. And

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by that I mean you've got to bring it up

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and then you've got to bring it back down. You

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got your peaks and your valleys. Now that's just how

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your volume and your pitch. I'm not even getting into

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the accent yet, because it's an interesting one. She sounded

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like a bastardized foghorn. Leghorn, y'all know that big old rooster.

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Now listen here, well I say here, I say here.

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I So I'm gonna demonstrate the whole thing. We're gonna

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read about clean nutrition. Oh boy, with these people, this

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is essential zinc. It is called essential zinc. I see

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it's very important to over emphasize any consonant at the

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end of a word. Essential zinc fifty milligrams. So you

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got your peaks and valleys in them, right, peaks and valleys.

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So they say that they're talking about this company, it's

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non of course it's non GMO. They believe in clean

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nutrition and being end's parent. See, you get your peaks

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and valleys, and we're over emphasizing the consonants.

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Speaker 3: That's why you won't what is this word? Why you won't.

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Speaker 1: Find genetically modified ingredy onuns Now, See, it's very important

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to punch in the face every syllable of the word

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that you're reading, because that's the verbal version of an

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underscore and a bold and maybe even in italic too. Right,

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So keeping with reading, just how simple every day practicing

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with the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique trademark pling, you

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will not find a gluten, no wheat, dairy, lactose, or

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artificial flavors in any of our products. Now, I see,

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I see Keynes over there, like it just automatically is

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like Camen. I see you sound authoritative, slightly terrifying, and

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also you are inspiring some sort of reaction. What we

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don't know in the person who is listening to you

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and receiving the message that you are delivering to them. Right,

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and so it's very simple when you're doing the Southern

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Baptist preacher speaking technique, you don't want to sound too

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much like Foghorn Leghorn, But you want to make sure

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that you're over emphasizing and that you're getting those peaks

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and valleys and that there's dynamic.

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Speaker 3: You don't want to be one tone the whole time.

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You got to bring it back and.

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Speaker 4: Then you gotta very slowly take it back out to

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create anticipation in the hawts and minds of the people.

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Speaker 1: See, it also makes you sound wise because all old

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people back in the days of your I think, talk

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like that.

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Speaker 3: So anybody can do it. She tried doing it there?

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Can I hear her one more time? She tried doing it?

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Speaker 2: There?

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Speaker 1: She just sucks at it. I mean she's from California.

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You know that's like getting sushi at Sam's.

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Speaker 3: Go ahead, you.

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Speaker 2: Better thank a union member for the five day work week.

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Speaker 3: No, listen, you better thank her.

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Speaker 2: Union number for sick leave. You better thank a union

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member for pay leave.

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Speaker 3: This sounds so bad.

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Speaker 1: So first off, you can't have your voice like way

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up there in the trees, you know, way up there

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in the clouds. You got to bring it back down.

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Speaker 3: So if I were her, I would say, you better

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think Henry Ford for giving you that five day work week.

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Speaker 1: You better think Philip the second of Spain, who back

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and I think it was fifteen ninety four, gave you

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the eight hour work week.

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Speaker 3: See, you got it.

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Speaker 1: You can't just she's just too much. You didn't even

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know how to do it right. But again, she's a Californian.

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Like I said, it's like getting sushi. It's it's like

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you wouldn't go to Burger King and ask for a taco.

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Why in the hell would you go to California and

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expect her to do the Southern Baptist preacher speaking technique.

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You know what I'm saying, Just not the same thing.

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It's not the same thing. Do you want your zinc back?

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Speaker 3: You got more over there.

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Speaker 2: I'll just get it there in the commercial work.

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Speaker 3: Okay, all right. I was just asking. I didn't know

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if it's like something you needed now or you know, you.

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Speaker 1: Got a lot of stuff over there though, So she

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just did that that sounded lame. The way she did

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it sounded bad, and it sounds it's pandering. You better

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thank the federal government for shutting down your business during

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COVID making you all go broke. I mean, there's so

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many that's the problem with her line of reasoning with that,

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that you could take that so many different ways. Why

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are we still talking like we live in the twenties?

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00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:53,200
Celtech the P fifteen. If you have not gotten the

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P fifteen, you need to. It is the lightest thinnest

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double stack nine millimeter on the market. And there are

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two versions of it. You have the polymer version and

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you have the metal version with the woodpanel textra grips

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Speaker 3: He looks like a James Bond gun. I love both

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of them.

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Speaker 1: It's a Striker fire pistol from the inventors of the

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microcompact pistol category. It is absolutely ideal for concealed carry.

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Get a lifetime warranty. This thing is so light. It

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is the lightest thinnest double stack my milimeter one point

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optic front site. You got fully adjustable fiber optic two

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dot rear and striker fire reliability. It has real smooth

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trigger pool and it's just it's game changing. It is

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one of my favorites to conceal carry. I love the

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P fifteen. I both versions love it and quality made

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right here in the.

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Speaker 3: US of A. It is ideal for whether.

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Speaker 1: You're new to compact, whether you're new to compact carry

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or conceal carry or season pros. It's sleek, lightweight and powerful.

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It's the P fifteen from Keltech. Learn more at kel

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tech weapons dot com. That's k E l t Ec

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Weapons dot com and tell them that Dana sent you.

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Speaker 2: And now all of the news you would probably miss,

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00:17:02,559 --> 00:17:04,279
it's time for Danta's quick five.

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Speaker 1: So Facebook, obviously they listen to your phone's microphone. By

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the way, Facebook burning hell to serve ads for stuff

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that you mentioned. You know they do this right, That's

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why all the stuff. Every time you talk about stuff,

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it pops up in Facebook ads.

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Speaker 3: This happens all the time. There was a leak that

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came out.

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Speaker 1: It's been reported they said four or four media says

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that documents were leaked. Blah blah blah says that the

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so called active listening software uses AI to capture real

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time intent data by listening to our conversation. It's not

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a surprise, let's see this that I don't understand.

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Speaker 3: Why people are like this.

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Speaker 1: Louisville Metro Police they're looking for a dude who has

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defecated on the same porch multiple times over the past

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week on the door their porch camera for no reason.

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Speaker 3: Police confirmed with Wave.

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Speaker 1: News that they've received three police reports about this alleged perpetrator.

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Maybe just I don't oh, I think i'd throw open

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the I think i'd try Joe Biden maneuver.

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Speaker 3: At that point.

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Speaker 1: The only time it's safe to kick open your dwarth

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a shotgun, just say. And it's kind of weird. They're like, well,

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he's not violent or trying to do fourth century I

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think that's bioterrorism, So I would classify that as violent. Yes,

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that's I get when you're on my property. The fun

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thing about that is I get to classify your intent.

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That's a consequence of trespassing on my property. If you

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don't want me to misclassify your intent, don't trespass on

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my property. The end, super easy, monkey poc pandemic. Monkey

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pocks pandemic because they say there are fears of those

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thousands infected with the disease in just one Brazilian city.

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Stop having sex with dudes, dudes with dudes indiscriminately, and

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maybe you won't have this problem.

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Speaker 3: I know it's not PC to say.

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Speaker 1: I know we're supposed to pretend like we're morons and

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we don't know where it comes from.

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Speaker 3: But that's where it comes from.

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Speaker 1: Stop acting like it's universally applied to all of the

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humans in our species because it's not carnivore. It may

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not be for everyone it is. Doctors say this trendy

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diet could lead.

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Speaker 3: To heart issues in dementia.

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Speaker 1: Stupid doctors could also lead to heart issues and dementia.

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That's another fun study now that they just don't want

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you to eat red meat and they want to scare

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you with this medical fear born.

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Speaker 3: That's all it is.

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Speaker 1: And it's this stupid podcast that I'm not going to

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promote by mentioning it. But some guy was saying, oh,

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carnivores with your diet can contribute to overall systemic inflammation,

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et cetera, et cetera. Interestingly, because my nutritionists and my

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introcrinologists and my doctor said the absolute opposite.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 1: One of them is one of the most is one

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of the leading medical professionals in the Dallas Fort Worth area.

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So and he just doesn't he doesn't have enough time

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because his practice is so successful that he doesn't have

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time for podcasts. The same Americans are moving at the

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lowest rate in decades, according to the Census Bureau. I

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don't know if I believe this. Well, they just measured

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this for twenty twenty two. They said fewer than nine

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percent of Americans moved in twenty twenty two. It was

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nearly twenty percent in the nineteen sixties. They're blaming a

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collision of several factors, including COVID, and I think they're

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all leaving blue states for red states. I don't think

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that they're I don't think that this is being judged adequately.

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Everybody knows the website OnlyFans. I've never been there, but

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I just know that it exists because of the jokes.

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So apparently some of these broads on OnlyFans they were accused.

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This is the most the irony here. They're being accused

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of pretending to be trans women to make money on

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the platform. So they apparently put a video up and

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it said to just two boys being silly with a

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trans flag on it.

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Speaker 3: And then how do I say this?

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Speaker 1: They had on boxer shorts and they gave themselves the

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fake appearance of a male copulatory organ, and the trans

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Tifa got real mad and they said that you are

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pretending to be trans to grift.

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Speaker 3: So wait a minute.

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Speaker 1: The dudes pretending to be women are mad because there

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are women pretending to be men. So the dudes pretending

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to be women to grift are mad that the women

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are grifting off of pretending to be men.

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Speaker 2: They're pretending to be men who are pretending to be women.

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Speaker 3: Technically, yeah, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 2: But guess what, it's all pretend.

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Speaker 3: It is all pretend.

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Speaker 1: This is like getting so invested in like a like

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a television show or a movie that the characters actually

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upset you.

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Speaker 3: It's that bad because it's all pretend.

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Speaker 1: It's all pretend, So how can you get so they're

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I mean, they're like they're trying to get them canceled.

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You know, they said these they're fake, and the trans

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communities up in arms. They're apparently being threatened with violence

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because that's what TRANSVA does.

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Speaker 2: The way they found out was they were too beautiful

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for them to believe that, they.

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Speaker 3: Were too ready for people to believe that they're dudes.

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Speaker 1: That's right, because they're I mean, they're not dudes, clearly,

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and they don't have any mounds in their necks.

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Speaker 2: Proves nobody's fooling anyone exactly.

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Speaker 1: We yeah, I mean, And so the trains people got

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mad because they you're too pretty to pretend to be

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a dude.

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Speaker 3: Just let that. Let that simmer for a minute. What

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is in the world. I can't even believe this is

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this is the reality of news today. That's news. That's

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that's where we're at now.

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Speaker 1: They they had death threats and all kinds of I

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don't know if they're going to get their accounts suspended,

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but they've the whole.

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Speaker 3: Community who has been up and armed.

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Speaker 1: This has been like the big thing all weekend and

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00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,920
the and their little community.

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Speaker 3: How do you not? Well? But who are they?

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Speaker 1: Who are they to tell them that they can't what

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if they are women? Who they're women who want to

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pretend to be men, who are pretending to be women?

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Why can't they do that?

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Speaker 2: Why can't it work like that?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 3: No, no, hold up? Why doesn't it work that way.

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00:23:12,279 --> 00:23:13,960
You can't just you don't get they don't get to

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be gatekeepers. You can't just oh, I'm a man who

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00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:17,480
wants to pretend to be a woman.

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Speaker 1: Okay, they're a woman who wants to pretend to be

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men who are pretending to be women.

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Speaker 2: I'll take it back at you.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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00:23:24,279 --> 00:23:26,680
Speaker 2: I'm a woman pretend to be a man. It's pretending

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to be a woman who's actually a man.

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Speaker 3: We're in tropic thunder territory right now. This is where

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we're at.

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Speaker 1: This is level tropic thunder. I can't get over the story.

461
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:45,079
This is so funny. So again there are women pretending

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00:23:45,119 --> 00:23:47,559
to be dudes who are pretending to be women, and

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00:23:47,599 --> 00:23:51,680
the and the Transtefa are all mad about it. By

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00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,599
the way, can you say training anymore? Is that a

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00:23:53,599 --> 00:23:54,440
word that one can say?

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Speaker 2: You so? I think so.

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00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:56,720
Speaker 4: No.

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Speaker 1: I'm just curious because I just remember, like in the

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00:23:59,079 --> 00:24:01,440
nineties they even like the people who would say that

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00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:01,960
they were.

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Speaker 2: That's true, but I think I think they do. Like

472
00:24:04,559 --> 00:24:06,240
with midget you can't say I have to say little

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00:24:06,279 --> 00:24:07,599
people now, and it's like with.

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Speaker 1: That, But what is the difference between trans and tran eat.

475
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,079
Speaker 2: Are you talking about mechanics.

476
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: I know, I just don't understand why the like letters

477
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:20,839
like mirror three letters like makes it like ah or okay, okay,

478
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,000
I don't you know? This is also damn stupid. People

479
00:24:24,079 --> 00:24:25,839
have so much time on their hands. They invent things

480
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,960
to get offended about.

481
00:24:26,759 --> 00:24:28,519
Speaker 2: All the pretending. And I got to pretend that I

482
00:24:28,559 --> 00:24:29,599
cared about all this stuff.

483
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I want to pretend about stuff too, and

484
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,039
I want to force people into making it real, right, Like,

485
00:24:37,079 --> 00:24:38,839
maybe we can get that yacht after all, you know

486
00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,240
what I'm saying, like a real one, not Marco Rubio's

487
00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:43,519
little boat, just saying all right, we got more on

488
00:24:43,559 --> 00:24:43,880
the way.

489
00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,880
Speaker 3: I oh, one other thing before we go.

490
00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 1: You know how Tim Walltz was saying that he uh,

491
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:52,359
he was, that he wasn't in labor.

492
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,759
Speaker 3: What was he saying? He's in the labor Union's pocket.

493
00:24:54,799 --> 00:24:55,599
He is the pocket.

494
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:58,799
Speaker 1: And it reminded me we're going to start calling him

495
00:24:58,839 --> 00:25:02,799
mister Pocket. If you've ever seen the Ballad of Buster

496
00:25:02,839 --> 00:25:04,799
or Scruggs by the Coen Brothers, it is like a

497
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,960
series of Western vignettes that are all tied together. It's

498
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,559
one of the most brilliant like Western themed it's not

499
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,480
a series, it's a film. It's hysterical and brilliant and

500
00:25:14,559 --> 00:25:19,240
really smartly done. But Tom Waite isn't it. And he

501
00:25:19,319 --> 00:25:23,279
plays this prospector and he finds this parcel of land

502
00:25:23,279 --> 00:25:24,680
and his gold on it, and he's trying to find

503
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,880
this pocket of gold and he keeps calling out mister pocket,

504
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,440
and so he's out there talking to anyway. Long story short,

505
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,000
it made me think of that, so I'm gonna start

506
00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,559
calling Tim Wallas mister Pockett. Thanks for tuning in to

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today's edition of Dana Lash's Absurd Truth podcast.

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Speaker 2: If you haven't already, made sure to hit that subscribe

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00:25:38,680 --> 00:25:42,359
button on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcasts.