Speaker 1: Kat makes fun of Jen for a brief moment where
Speaker 1: Jen goes, I can't believe.
Speaker 2: She's my chief stew.
Speaker 1: Chief stews that I've worked with have been in the
Speaker 1: yawning industry for over a decade, over a decade.
Speaker 2: I was twelve. I was over a decade ago. I
Speaker 2: was twelve years old. And Kat goes, yeah, and Luke
Speaker 2: was twenty five.
Speaker 1: Great, comeback, Hi, hello, and welcome to bad TV. I'm
Speaker 1: dal that's pat permission to come aboard. KK is here too,
Speaker 1: the Keki Palmer of that of our show, Keiki Palmer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he has Keky Palmer energy. I loved her and nope,
Speaker 1: I loved her and nope, I love her and everything.
Speaker 3: You know, I didn't know that she was a child actors.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Nope's one of those you didn't get it movies.
Speaker 3: No, I got it. It was horrible.
Speaker 1: She was great, No, I know, but there are starch
Speaker 1: defenders that go with it.
Speaker 2: You didn't get it defense a lot. You know, it's
Speaker 2: arrives me nuts man. You know what, I didn't care
Speaker 2: to get it.
Speaker 3: Okay, Universal stocking in the air when you's going on
Speaker 3: on the Universal Tour, which is wonderful. This is where
Speaker 3: the Jaws shark comes out of the water at the
Speaker 3: you know the Tram tour, that same ride, they have a.
Speaker 2: Nope, you're talking about the tram. The tram, love the tram.
Speaker 3: You know, Godzilla tries to push over the tram.
Speaker 1: The the little village floods and Jaws that right, and
Speaker 1: then it ends with nope.
Speaker 2: Now that I don't think that that makes any sense.
Speaker 1: It does not here to talk about Universal Studios, California,
Speaker 1: a nightmare Hell on Earth.
Speaker 3: No I hear.
Speaker 1: It's fantastic. You know they've got the Hogwarts stuff, They've
Speaker 1: got the Simpson stuff.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I have a season pass.
Speaker 2: Do they have Nintendo Thingski? Have you ever been? Uh?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I used to go every weekend on Have you
Speaker 4: seen Fast and Furious?
Speaker 1: How they got the Fast and Furia drifting?
Speaker 2: Now they're drifting. The Mummy killed someone recently in Florida.
Speaker 1: In Florida, that's a good ride. The Hogwarts one makes
Speaker 1: me sick with the big screen and the stuff moving around.
Speaker 2: I get sick. I get it.
Speaker 1: I just do I have a sensitive tummy.
Speaker 3: Start over.
Speaker 1: We're here to talk about Below Deck Babey. We had
Speaker 1: an amazing episode of this show this week.
Speaker 2: No, this season.
Speaker 1: Keeps delivering every episode in something else. The dynamics of
Speaker 1: the crew are fascinating. Nate's incompetence is fascinating. We've got
Speaker 1: so much stuff here this season. And I just want
Speaker 1: to say to the people working on brav oh, thank you.
Speaker 3: I wanna actually I want to apply.
Speaker 2: Working on Bravo, working on below deck up, but thank you.
Speaker 3: I want to apodcasting. I judged you at first. I
Speaker 3: believe it's a husband and wife. Yeah, I did not
Speaker 3: want Nate on my TV screen. I did definitely did
Speaker 3: not want Joe. And as I've seen in the preview,
Speaker 3: this is not a spoiler, We're gonna have Max back
Speaker 3: on our television screen. But given what you've done so far,
Speaker 3: I think that may have been a good decision. Based
Speaker 3: on your.
Speaker 1: Track, Wick, Yeah, I'm excited for Joy to to just
Speaker 1: speak openly about how much she hates her own people.
Speaker 2: The French are so annoying. It's gonna be a lot
Speaker 2: of fun.
Speaker 1: So what tonight we have an episode of this show?
Speaker 1: Thinks so I think.
Speaker 2: So. If you want to support us.
Speaker 1: At Patreon, you can go to patreon dot com. Slash
Speaker 1: another podcast.
Speaker 2: Network I find that the Phoenix here is still open.
Speaker 3: That's right. And we're I think we're going to do
Speaker 3: a show called The Double Lives of Suburban Wives. This
Speaker 3: is couples in Middle America that in their own free
Speaker 3: time do like adult stuff to support their marriages.
Speaker 2: Yeah they fucking.
Speaker 3: Yeah right there. Right, it's like post Mormon wives, but
Speaker 3: a little bit smuttier. Right, it's on Chelsea. Yeah, we
Speaker 3: might do.
Speaker 1: Fucking fucking the ship out of each other on camera,
Speaker 1: that's right. Then they're also like taking their kids to school.
Speaker 3: That's right, and it's going to uh, I think it's
Speaker 3: gonna keep a nation health.
Speaker 2: Hey, come on over to the house.
Speaker 1: We're throwing a barbecue and then you know, you go over,
Speaker 1: you go. I think were you guys banging in front
Speaker 1: of that fireplace in the last video, Yeah, that's where we're.
Speaker 3: And so well recap. So sign up right now because
Speaker 3: I'm gonna cap our Patreon subscribers.
Speaker 2: Wait wait, wait, are we doing it for Patreon or yeah,
Speaker 2: oh we're gonna do it for Patreon.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you've got to sign up now. I'm only
Speaker 3: gonna allow new patrons, that's it.
Speaker 2: And then we're capping it.
Speaker 1: And the reason we're doing that is because we've read
Speaker 1: the Warren Buffett books.
Speaker 2: We know business.
Speaker 1: There's only three hundred spots. Let's get into the show, Kaylin,
Speaker 1: pick up the energy. The back's gone out.
Speaker 2: Yeah, turn over, the knives are out. Joe is a
Speaker 2: pig in shit.
Speaker 3: He will he will take this opportunity and run with it.
Speaker 3: Dare I say step over Nate's balding head to get
Speaker 3: to that BOSSI.
Speaker 1: Nate was really Nate was a tough watch tonight. Jen
Speaker 1: was a great watch tonight. We had Aura meters and
Speaker 1: we have Asha who just continues to be.
Speaker 2: I don't Pat and I feel differently about Asha nish.
Speaker 3: I love Kermits, Okay, it's her voice. It's annoying, and
Speaker 3: her constant talk of scatting.
Speaker 1: Okay, her voice is lovely. It is from a land
Speaker 1: down under. The attitude on display from Asia being told, Hey,
Speaker 1: this deck crew is a fucking nightmare. We need you
Speaker 1: to scrub steps and have a good attitude. Of course
Speaker 1: she's in. We know that you went to bed at
Speaker 1: three o'clock in the morning watching these fucking screens, even
Speaker 1: though you're the chiefs to Actually, we need you up
Speaker 1: three hours before you're supposed to.
Speaker 2: Nate just threw his back out like a geriatric up.
Speaker 1: No problem, She's fucking awesome. We have a fun group
Speaker 1: of people, and we have Kaylee being rust into the
Speaker 1: chief stup position tonight. I thought it was a magnificent episode.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna give.
Speaker 1: It fourteen pots.
Speaker 3: Fourteen pots seems a little low. No, I love this
Speaker 3: episode as well, because, as you pointed out, turnover is
Speaker 3: what's needed for a season of Blow Deck. We love
Speaker 3: you shouldn't have an entire season of a single sea rat.
Speaker 2: What's wrong with you? Nothing? I was just staring really
Speaker 2: intently at you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you make me nervous. I don't like to make
Speaker 3: eye contact with my co host.
Speaker 2: I was really staring at it.
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't want to be mean to the UH
Speaker 3: charter guests, but I think it was I think it
Speaker 3: was Kaylee when she said, you guys look like you
Speaker 3: belong on a yacht, and I thought, yeah, if the
Speaker 3: strip club was called belong to a yacht, I'd agree
Speaker 3: with her. Yeah, because they look like they sell crystal meth.
Speaker 3: But they're nice.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think they look like they sell crystal
Speaker 1: crystal meth. They're tat people you know, tat people they.
Speaker 3: Leave some ink for pens. Children use pens.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have to think about the kids when you're
Speaker 1: taking up all the ink and saying, shoot it into
Speaker 1: my body, actually cover up my face, do it on
Speaker 1: my penis. I want the ink everywhere. Okay, you have
Speaker 1: to remember the children. But when crack dealers, my god,
Speaker 1: I am so sorry, Yeah you should be what are
Speaker 1: you thinking about picking it up?
Speaker 3: Well it was spam?
Speaker 1: Sorry, Okay, so the answer was still yes, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: crack dealers, we go to San Bernardino. Right, there's no
Speaker 1: kind of artistry to it. It's it's a dirty clothes
Speaker 1: kind of frenetic. More, these people are very in the pocket. Okay,
Speaker 1: they're just trying to have a good time. And that
Speaker 1: one guy I think actually shoves his thumb up a
Speaker 1: girl's ass who's not accidentally.
Speaker 2: If he's dating.
Speaker 1: So that'll be actually fun to watch or to recap.
Speaker 1: I give it fourteen pots. How many pots do you
Speaker 1: give it?
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give it. Well, I'm not done giving my
Speaker 3: thoughts on fine. Okay, the aura meter was fun.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna give the history of Grimace. By the way,
Speaker 3: Jen is Grimace Grimace is evil. His first name was
Speaker 3: Evil Grimace. In the history of Grimace, I follow McDonald's lore.
Speaker 3: I was a child of the eighties. Grimace, the Hamburgler.
Speaker 3: They are evil people. They steal milkshakes from children. Okay,
Speaker 3: all right, what else I want to say? Oh, Nate's situation.
Speaker 1: Okay, he's kind of a narrative perspective problem because to me,
Speaker 1: I've always thought that Ronald McDonald was the evil one.
Speaker 3: No, he looked creepy.
Speaker 1: Okay, Grimace is it's first a he is evil.
Speaker 3: Evil Grimace. Wow, yeah, he's a blob.
Speaker 2: Okay, we'll get into it.
Speaker 3: Okay, Uh, Nate, he is. I don't think I'm gonna
Speaker 3: come back as a boson. He will m He's on
Speaker 3: Sandy's chopping block. And I always warn people, if you
Speaker 3: want to keep your job, do not get on your supervisors.
Speaker 3: By the way, radar.
Speaker 1: How uneven is that chopping block She's tried to I mean,
Speaker 1: she just can't lop the head off. The patient's on
Speaker 1: display from one Sandy Vaughan.
Speaker 3: This guy is.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's a fucking charity case for the.
Speaker 3: Ages, it is.
Speaker 2: What are you doing?
Speaker 3: You gotta let me know?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sorry your backstorre, Oh, we gotta get your
Speaker 1: I mean, he just he wants to get fired so badly.
Speaker 3: You think this is subconsciousness sabotage.
Speaker 2: No, I think he's I think he's just having a
Speaker 2: tough go. Okay, just at a baby, It's tough.
Speaker 3: Here's what you gotta do when you're at a job
Speaker 3: that you're getting paid at that you'd like to keep.
Speaker 3: Maybe you don't care about it, but you want to
Speaker 3: get paid. Okay, lend in like fucking waldough. Do not
Speaker 3: step on toes. He's obviously doing that. Do not try
Speaker 3: and stand out in any way. Don't make friends with supervisors. Okay,
Speaker 3: because once you start fucking up, Sandy starts going hey, hey, hey, hey,
Speaker 3: where are the towels? Little shit like that. And then
Speaker 3: the next thing you know, she calls you up to
Speaker 3: the fucking bird's nest and says, is everything.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, you're talking about wings belting?
Speaker 2: That's right, yep, all right, close to the sun.
Speaker 1: Well, let's get into fourteen knots all right, So no,
Speaker 1: you can't give the same knots as me.
Speaker 3: It was a great episode.
Speaker 1: Uh okay, fine, So we start off a man down
Speaker 1: and a Boatson missing. Nathan heads back to the boat
Speaker 1: after running two hours late with zero communication.
Speaker 2: He's just what a fucking jammy dodger this guy is.
Speaker 1: He heads inside and he.
Speaker 2: Goes, oh, sorry about that. What he first? His crew
Speaker 2: is like, hey, where have you been?
Speaker 1: And he goes, don't fucking look at me, or I'll
Speaker 1: punch you in the fucking face.
Speaker 3: Don't even make direct eye contacts me, don't look at
Speaker 3: each other, don't make weird faces.
Speaker 1: Look at each other, don't make jokes, don't do anything,
Speaker 1: or I'll punch in the face. Then he goes upstairs
Speaker 1: to Sandy and she goes, what happened. He goes, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, family stuff.
Speaker 2: She goes, you're two hours late. You haven't said anything.
Speaker 2: He goes, oh, yeah, that's that is my bad.
Speaker 3: I am so sorry. Ah okay, I want to say
Speaker 3: this the reason why she says, you didn't call me.
Speaker 2: He says, that's a good point.
Speaker 3: This is the first time I'm hearing this. They probably
Speaker 3: mentioned this Gail moved on the other side of the world,
Speaker 3: leaving her support system, which is her entire family.
Speaker 2: It is the first time they've mentioned it.
Speaker 3: Well, the first time I heard it. I didn't realize
Speaker 3: that she just came here to be filmed on television
Speaker 3: with this idiot, leaving her entire support system. She should
Speaker 3: have just stayed where she was with all her family
Speaker 3: to help her with this fucking baby. Instead, she came
Speaker 3: here with zero support to live a mile from this
Speaker 3: boat with this knucklehead. Yeah, this show films for like
Speaker 3: six weeks. Yeah, she should have just said I'll see
Speaker 3: you in six weeks, loser. I know, I know, but
Speaker 3: that would make perfect sense. But thank god, these idiots
Speaker 3: make these poor life decisions because it's amazing television. I'm
Speaker 3: making my own point. Thank you.
Speaker 2: Can I say something really quickly? I think you look amazing.
Speaker 1: I saw an Instagram comment on one of the recent videos
Speaker 1: that said does this guy have only Does this guy
Speaker 1: only have one hat? And I go, what are they
Speaker 1: talking about? Pat's got a bunch of different hats. So
Speaker 1: I start scrolling through our videos and you've simply worn
Speaker 1: the same hat for I think a month and a half.
Speaker 3: Straight guys wear hat.
Speaker 2: I'm really pleased.
Speaker 1: That you're here today showing off your luscious locks.
Speaker 2: And how do I look fantastic? Yeah? You look great?
Speaker 4: Did a screen test before we started, will.
Speaker 2: You, will you do me a favor and let it
Speaker 2: just go salt and pepper? Please?
Speaker 3: I am don't you see gray hair?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: No, I'm forty two years old, okay, and I am
Speaker 3: letting the gray go. I'm like George Clooney right now,
Speaker 3: go to YouTube and subscribed.
Speaker 1: All right, let's get to the preference odd suit mful.
Speaker 3: Hold on Gail, who is beautiful whose life has been
Speaker 3: ruined by this balding man. I follow her on Instagram.
Speaker 3: She is doing brand deals right now. She is fucking
Speaker 3: killing it now that she's ditched this balding loser support
Speaker 3: Gal preference sheet meeting.
Speaker 1: The referenchion Meg, I'm gonna need your help with this.
Speaker 3: Oh, I can help.
Speaker 2: There's tattoo people coming aboard this vessel.
Speaker 1: Yes, they want bud light and they want hand soap
Speaker 1: at the ready.
Speaker 2: They're gonna be shoving their fingers up each other's ass.
Speaker 2: That was unbelievable to me.
Speaker 1: They want to He fucking popped a digit inside a
Speaker 1: woman's vagina.
Speaker 2: She said that one straight up my cooter. He said,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I thought you were somebody else.
Speaker 3: I want to tell you something. What when I used
Speaker 3: to have to pick tomatoes as a little kid. That
Speaker 3: was my job down the street.
Speaker 2: You had a car, a jack carrouac kind of existence.
Speaker 1: Almost like if someone's seen the Master. That's what Pat's
Speaker 1: life was like.
Speaker 3: Okay, summer vacation after the sixth grade, we all showed
Speaker 3: up at a farm stand. They'd pick us up in
Speaker 3: a pick up. We jump on the back of it.
Speaker 3: They drop us off at like a fucking I don't know,
Speaker 3: vineyard or whatever, and we'd start picking tomatoes. We would
Speaker 3: be poisoned by all the the what do you call it,
Speaker 3: the pharmacy, all the ship they spray pesticides. I'd come
Speaker 3: home after picking all day, I'd have headaches. They'd be
Speaker 3: pounding my head. Anyway, this jackass.
Speaker 5: The reason why our kids have autism is because of
Speaker 5: the clip us eight. That's right, it's the and I'm
Speaker 5: married today to say that the eight should should be
Speaker 5: sprayed on everything in America still, even though it's killing
Speaker 5: all of us.
Speaker 1: Maha, nice, Yeah, well, anyway, what did you think was
Speaker 1: that a good RFK?
Speaker 3: You killed it, dude, really, and they tried to kill
Speaker 3: me while I was picking at this fucking farm. Anyway,
Speaker 3: My point about getting fingers in your asshole. All us
Speaker 3: little kids in this story, we'd all be picking tomatoes
Speaker 3: and this prick that was a teenager when we weren't
Speaker 3: picking fast enough. You'd have to watch this teenager. He'd
Speaker 3: had his thumb out and he'd try and stick it
Speaker 3: up your butt and go hitchhiker if you weren't picking
Speaker 3: up fast enough.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so I think that was Okay, flag that,
Speaker 2: thank you, and we'll do this. You're gonna have to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, blab and the first one in this one.
Speaker 2: Do you know what a story is?
Speaker 3: A sexual assault?
Speaker 2: Okay, you know what. We're just gonna move on, and
Speaker 2: this is like.
Speaker 3: A story, he says, sexual assault.
Speaker 2: Okay, sorry, Caitlin, you're out of your mind.
Speaker 3: Someone putting a digit up your butt while you're picking tomato.
Speaker 2: Okay, right, so that's the preference sheet. Oh well, well
Speaker 2: there's a jungle Yeah, there's a jungle theme.
Speaker 1: And there's a moment where they say that the Chrotter
Speaker 1: guests are gonna be looking for.
Speaker 2: Elite yacht service, and a she goes elite yacht service.
Speaker 2: I think we can do that, eh, yes, you can.
Speaker 2: Captain Sandy is challenged at the moment because they're a
Speaker 2: man down.
Speaker 1: Now they have a ton of inflatables. Who doesn't you know?
Speaker 1: But because she's burying the lead of a little bit,
Speaker 1: she goes, we've got so many inflatables, I need to
Speaker 1: get another person on deck.
Speaker 2: Oh. Also, last time we were.
Speaker 1: A man down, we rammed the boat into a fucking
Speaker 1: ancient wall.
Speaker 2: But we get back to the go ahead.
Speaker 3: Oh, I was gonna say, so, Sandy. Yes, she calls
Speaker 3: Norma a couple of times and unable to find a deck,
Speaker 3: and she starts thinking like, let me call Nate up here. Hey,
Speaker 3: I think we'll get Kermit to help us, and Nay goes, yeah,
Speaker 3: let's let's fucking do it. And then they ask Kermit
Speaker 3: and she says, yeah, I'll do it, but under one condition.
Speaker 3: I want reference farting eighteen more times. This ye okay,
Speaker 3: And they say deal, okay, kidding. She says also, I
Speaker 3: want an opportunity to promote Kaylee to be chiefs do
Speaker 3: and they go yeah, that's okay, that's.
Speaker 2: Fine, that's fine.
Speaker 1: Really quickly though, before Nathan is brought back, brought up
Speaker 1: to the bridge to give his hoorah, we have him
Speaker 1: and a bit of a mutiny brewing.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, blood in the water.
Speaker 1: So Nathan continues to not be that flustered by being
Speaker 1: just shitty at his job, and Joe the power hungry
Speaker 1: is starting to see that there are trails of opportunity
Speaker 1: here now they're not doing things systematically. He's showing up
Speaker 1: two hours for a shift. Cooper starting to get pissed off,
Speaker 1: and Joe goes, I am in a position where I've
Speaker 1: afforded an opportunity.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have him on my side. He's showing up late.
Speaker 2: I can kill him. That's exactly what he's going to
Speaker 2: attend to.
Speaker 3: Points out a lack of professionalism and then gets on
Speaker 3: his soapbox and yeah, you will stab him in the back.
Speaker 2: Ye.
Speaker 1: So we get to the news. Uh Asha is told
Speaker 1: that you're so good at Chief Sue. What we're going
Speaker 1: to make you do is go up on deck Heaveline,
Speaker 1: drop anchors and wipe shit off stairs.
Speaker 2: And she says, what we're going to do is Kaylee.
Speaker 1: Is going to be Chief Stue, and I know that
Speaker 1: you guys are going to knock it out of the park.
Speaker 1: And thus begins gen Watch because Jen last episode said,
Speaker 1: I am turning over a new leaf.
Speaker 2: Okay, I am going to be positive.
Speaker 1: Jen Caitlin, you know how how proactive he is. We
Speaker 1: didn't tell him to get that sound effect ready.
Speaker 3: He didn't I get it ready every week from now on.
Speaker 4: I'm glad I finally got to play It's it's been
Speaker 4: a while.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's the keky Palmer of the show.
Speaker 1: So Jen mentioned that she's going with the departure of Kronk.
Speaker 2: She's going to be happy now.
Speaker 1: But the problem is that useless bitch Kayley has gotten
Speaker 1: the chief stue position and now she is her aura.
Speaker 2: Is getting red now.
Speaker 1: Luckily for her, she knows how to climb back. She
Speaker 1: went to Balie and read a book on how to
Speaker 1: make your aura purple.
Speaker 2: So she's going to be okay.
Speaker 3: Well, she got inspired to become the McDonald's character Grimace.
Speaker 3: And here's where I will teach the audience because I
Speaker 3: think she got there. Fun fact about Grimace. He's evil,
Speaker 3: he stole milkshakes from children. He's a blob made out
Speaker 3: of dead tongues. Look it up, true story.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: Fact check that please. Okay, is he made of a
Speaker 2: dead tongue.
Speaker 4: I'm gonna look up that one.
Speaker 3: But he's a tongue or something. He's a tongue that
Speaker 3: fell out of people's mouths or something. No, something like that.
Speaker 2: No, yeah, it's close. I can't imagine it is.
Speaker 3: I was big fan. Really yeah. I mean, how do
Speaker 3: you define a blob?
Speaker 1: You just refer to its shape. You don't talk about
Speaker 1: what it's made of.
Speaker 3: Oh it's a shape.
Speaker 1: Is it a blob? Yeah, it's a form. Move to
Speaker 1: talk about that it's made out of fucking tongues that
Speaker 1: has to be made out of something of calin so.
Speaker 4: Far im just seeing that he's covered in he was
Speaker 4: originally covered in purple fur for arms to hold multiple
Speaker 4: stolen drinks.
Speaker 2: Okay, so he is a thief. He's evil, He is
Speaker 2: a rat. Fank is his first name. Evil.
Speaker 4: He debuted as the evil Grimace. Oh okay, milkshake stealing
Speaker 4: monster with forearms and a bad as with a hamburger.
Speaker 3: H okay him glare yes also evil.
Speaker 1: Well, basically they're criminals. They're stealing from people and it's
Speaker 1: not okay, okay, did.
Speaker 2: You have anything else?
Speaker 3: Uh no, that's it?
Speaker 2: Okay, So the tattoo people get there and uh.
Speaker 3: Oh wait before they get there, Nate text scale, I
Speaker 3: miss you. I want to tell this young man not
Speaker 3: working that that doesn't work. No, it's not what you text,
Speaker 3: it's what you do. It's what you do, you dummy.
Speaker 2: Speaking of text Asia tech Scotch.
Speaker 1: He goes, can you believe this? He guys, that's amazing value.
Speaker 1: But let's not pretend you haven't got your hands daddy. Eh,
Speaker 1: you're talking about shit.
Speaker 3: I think, yeah, anywhere. Yeah, And then Kermit coaches up
Speaker 3: Kayley on how to Greek guests basically lie to them. Oh,
Speaker 3: you're from Florida, I love in bread trash.
Speaker 2: No, nope, you can't say that. That's not elite.
Speaker 4: This is what you do.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're from Florida. I hear the weather's incredible.
Speaker 2: You know what? You belong on a yacht. That's how
Speaker 2: you do it. So the tattoo people get there and
Speaker 2: as a kind of.
Speaker 1: Welcome, like a welcome gift their arrival, Nathan shatters their
Speaker 1: belongings on the ground. They've clearly gone shopping, have some
Speaker 1: tourist knickknacks. As they're getting their luggage out, Nathan drops
Speaker 1: the entire bag of shit on the ground and you
Speaker 1: hear many things break, and Asia says.
Speaker 2: Oh, so that's how the vacation begins. But I like
Speaker 2: these people.
Speaker 1: When you're on a yacht, you want some light fucking beer. Okay,
Speaker 1: somebody asks for a Caesar. I'm not sure what the
Speaker 1: hell that is. I think it's some fucking gross version
Speaker 1: of a bloody Mary or something, probably got Mayo in
Speaker 1: it or something.
Speaker 2: I'm not sure, a Klein. Can you look it up.
Speaker 3: These people could not be more polite, or nicer or
Speaker 3: easy going.
Speaker 2: They're lovely. They really are lovely.
Speaker 1: Now, Kaylee is really hanging and banging with the guests,
Speaker 1: and Asia is struggling to not micro manage, and we
Speaker 1: get a little sea rette history with Asha and she
Speaker 1: used to be a deckcan Yeah.
Speaker 3: But some guy like wanted to do a side business
Speaker 3: making a wood shop there, I guess, like shaving whole
Speaker 3: pieces of wood, making canoes.
Speaker 2: Or some shit.
Speaker 3: She said, fuck this shit, right, GAILN what's the caesar?
Speaker 4: A caesar or bloody caesar is a Canadian drink made
Speaker 4: with vodka, clamado, hot sauce, and Worcester clamado.
Speaker 1: Oh so it's just a it's just a bloody marry
Speaker 1: with klamato, which is what most bloody marriage are made
Speaker 1: out of. Anyway, you go to an airport bar. They're
Speaker 1: making that fucking thing with climato. You go to a
Speaker 1: chile that's clamato, babe, otherwise known as clam juice.
Speaker 2: You're not a klmado guy? No, what do you not
Speaker 2: like about it?
Speaker 3: I don't like anything out of the sea.
Speaker 2: That's not true. You like sushi?
Speaker 3: Not really?
Speaker 2: You do though anymore? No, you like it though.
Speaker 1: When we go out and you go to a nice
Speaker 1: sushi dinner, you like to rip it up like a
Speaker 1: little bit.
Speaker 3: I order California rolls.
Speaker 2: You don't order California You go. What's the thing with
Speaker 2: the alba cord? That's you when you go out, I'll
Speaker 2: do it.
Speaker 1: Can we get another Leachi Martini? What's that thing with
Speaker 1: the Alba corp?
Speaker 3: I like Leechi Martinez.
Speaker 2: Okay, So we get to Bobby. He's a cool guy.
Speaker 1: He shoves his thumb up the vagina of one of
Speaker 1: his friends. And then we get to Joy. He what
Speaker 1: a tough last charter. Suzanne was very challenging. She also
Speaker 1: lost her best friend. I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 2: I love Joy. Let's just move on from that. Goddamn Okay.
Speaker 3: Joy tells us it was a little rough. She lost
Speaker 3: her best friend. She's disappointed. She disappointed Suzanne and almost
Speaker 3: killed Coop. And I think only one of those things
Speaker 3: is a negative thing, almost killing Coop.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, got it all right?
Speaker 1: Well yeah, yeah, disappointing Suzanne's not that bad because her
Speaker 1: entire life's been a disappointment, so she's used to it. Okay,
Speaker 1: So toys all go out and there's a mutiny of foot.
Speaker 1: Nathan is making people unfurl things without the crane.
Speaker 2: Cooper is starting to side with with little Wormwood.
Speaker 1: Joe over here, and Sandy heads down and goes like, legitimately,
Speaker 1: you guys are fucking up. And she looks at Nathan
Speaker 1: and goes, you need to get your fucking shit together.
Speaker 1: You're here two hours late. Nothing right is going on
Speaker 1: down here. Where's the shower?
Speaker 3: Ah?
Speaker 1: Fucking that's a great point, oh man, Sandy, thank you
Speaker 1: for bringing that up, because we should have that out.
Speaker 2: He's he's doomed.
Speaker 1: He's lucky his back got hurt because he would have
Speaker 1: been fired.
Speaker 3: I'm telling you, this is what happens when you've been
Speaker 3: on this show too long and you get to go
Speaker 3: to Bravo Khan.
Speaker 2: But Asha crushes it.
Speaker 3: I know, because she's a good person. Yeah, and she
Speaker 3: knows what the deal is. And she said this episode,
Speaker 3: I don't plan on ever doing leaving, no leaving this profession?
Speaker 3: Really didn't she say?
Speaker 2: I always?
Speaker 1: Well, she's never gonna not be Chief stew in her marriage,
Speaker 1: I think is what she meant.
Speaker 2: Oh she did.
Speaker 1: Okay, but get in the comments let us know. So
Speaker 1: I feel really bad for Joe here, which is not
Speaker 1: a sentence. I'm gonna say a lot. He is kind
Speaker 1: of dressed down by Sandy. She goes, you need to
Speaker 1: fucking lead, And to.
Speaker 2: Sandy, I would say, lead. Who you're gonna lead? Cooper
Speaker 2: and the Chief stew What were we talking about?
Speaker 1: Also, if I lead, he's gonna say, if I ever
Speaker 1: do that again, he's gonna slip my fucking throat.
Speaker 2: So I'm what do you want me to do? Here?
Speaker 3: There needs to be a word for this, and it
Speaker 3: probably is in the dictionary, which is a place where
Speaker 3: you love to be, which is but caught in the middle.
Speaker 3: Joe must love this, which is I'm glad you're putting
Speaker 3: I'm in this position, which is I know I can lead,
Speaker 3: but I can't right now. M Is there a word
Speaker 3: for that.
Speaker 1: Like kind of like a purgatory that you're happy about. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm not sure what did you put that?
Speaker 2: Well, what's what?
Speaker 3: What's an enjoyable purgatory?
Speaker 2: What is that called? And also Caitlin is grim is
Speaker 2: made of people's tongues.
Speaker 3: He's made of dead tongues. Is someone their tongue fell
Speaker 3: out and on the sidewalk.
Speaker 2: He's like a Kronberg tongue.
Speaker 3: I don't know where I got that from.
Speaker 2: Okay, it was.
Speaker 1: College, all right. So we've mentioned that Asia's attitude is
Speaker 1: on believable. Let's get to dinner. Jen is purple.
Speaker 3: She's doing good. She made a great table scape.
Speaker 4: Grimace is not made out of tongues, but official corporate
Speaker 4: lore states he is a giant taste bud.
Speaker 2: So, wow, you're really knocking it out of the park tonight.
Speaker 3: I don't know what a taste bud is, but I
Speaker 3: believe it's part of a tongue.
Speaker 2: You don't know what a taste I taste, but is
Speaker 2: part of a tongue.
Speaker 3: We have four of them in our tongue.
Speaker 2: No, we have I think thousands.
Speaker 3: No, we have four taste buds. We have sweet No, no, no,
Speaker 3: look it up. How many taste buds.
Speaker 2: Do we have?
Speaker 4: First, I just wanted to say, an enjoyable purgatory is
Speaker 4: often called limbo elysium.
Speaker 2: Or eah yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So calin. How many taste buds do we have?
Speaker 1: And let me just tell you those are the tastes.
Speaker 1: Those are not the taste.
Speaker 3: Buds, they're oh, the taste We only have four tastes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we have four.
Speaker 1: Some people say five salt, sweet, bitter, sour, right, some
Speaker 1: people say savory is a fifth, also known as umami.
Speaker 1: I was pretty right about the tongue thing, though, what Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: how many taste buds do we have?
Speaker 4: On average? Between two and ten thousand?
Speaker 2: Okay, two?
Speaker 3: Pretty close?
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, between two thousand and ten thousand.
Speaker 2: Let's move on. Let's move on.
Speaker 1: But first dinner, the wine isn't quite there, Scott says, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean it's just not to the same caliber.
Speaker 2: Do you have any thoughts on that? Okay, let's get
Speaker 2: to dinner. It's gonna be a trio of samplers.
Speaker 1: We've got scalops, We've got oysters and citrus, and we've
Speaker 1: got a savice that is bright, powerful, punchy, like a
Speaker 1: Peruvian fireworks show.
Speaker 2: On your two taste buds. What is that? I know
Speaker 2: we have four.
Speaker 1: Okay, so dinner is not perfect, though, I would say
Speaker 1: normally samplers are trash. I don't want a sampler, right,
Speaker 1: Usually you don't want a sampler.
Speaker 3: Well, a sampler is something you order when you want
Speaker 3: to be a big, big, big, big, big fatty. Okay,
Speaker 3: you're like, oh, right, chicken skewer.
Speaker 2: If we're doing, if.
Speaker 1: We're doing all of these beautiful fresh, raw, barred kind
Speaker 1: of dishes, let's do them. Let's cycle them out, right.
Speaker 1: I know that work a little understaf, so maybe we
Speaker 1: want to just do a three banger. But usually we're
Speaker 1: gonna reserve a sampler for.
Speaker 2: The cheesecake factory.
Speaker 1: Right, we're gonna have mozzarella triangles, we're gonna have buffalo
Speaker 1: buffalo cauliflower.
Speaker 2: And we're gonna have cheeseburger egg rolls on the same plate.
Speaker 2: And that's meant to give you cancer.
Speaker 1: Actually, but this, I think we can roll out the oyster,
Speaker 1: then we can do the savice, then we can do
Speaker 1: the scalop. We don't need to chill a fip this right,
Speaker 1: it's actually pretty fucking horrific. Then we get to a
Speaker 1: Dorsea style plating of a local whitefish with a rim
Speaker 1: of sweet potato mash that will kind of ensnare a
Speaker 1: thin white sauce that the fish will be sitting atop.
Speaker 2: Not my favor from joy Fish Forward a lot of fish.
Speaker 2: Kind of a one note textually.
Speaker 3: I think I thought it was cream of wheat.
Speaker 1: You thought it was cream wheat. We've talked about it before.
Speaker 1: Cream if we had a very underrated working class food.
Speaker 1: What's your favorite way to do cream of wheat?
Speaker 3: Well, I told the story where definitely uncooked, where you
Speaker 3: bake it in your stomach with all the acid and
Speaker 3: it cooks over the course of three days.
Speaker 1: Yes, then you have to undergo surgery for them to
Speaker 1: extract the ball of fucking cream of wheat from your
Speaker 1: lower intestine.
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: Check it out episode fourteen and seventy two of APS.
Speaker 2: Yes, very keyl what's your favorite weddy cream of wheat?
Speaker 4: I've never had cream of wheat before in my life.
Speaker 1: That's the key pomer of the podcast. How have you
Speaker 1: never had cream of wheat?
Speaker 2: Get in the comments let us say your favorite way
Speaker 2: to prepare cream with wheat.
Speaker 3: I don't even really know what it is, So that
Speaker 3: was fish in the middle of that Yeah, I've never
Speaker 3: thought of fish as a blended soup.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it wasn't. The sauce wasn't fish.
Speaker 3: The white stuff in the middle of that plate.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what was that?
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh, maybe it was a coconut kind of thing. It
Speaker 1: might have been a oh yeah, zero pots. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna give it zero I'm gonna give it
Speaker 1: forty one pots.
Speaker 2: Though not Joy's best best outing, but you know it
Speaker 2: can all be home run.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: No. Cream of wheat is a ground wheat product. You
Speaker 1: kind of like an oatmeal. You put it in It's
Speaker 1: like a polenta. It's in between polenta and oatmeal. You
Speaker 1: put it in some boiling water, and then you can
Speaker 1: make it savor. You can make it sweet.
Speaker 2: I like throwing a little butter in there, a little
Speaker 2: butter up. You know, maybe mount that with some butter
Speaker 2: and maple syrup. I'll tell you what that is? Delicious?
Speaker 2: Should we move on? I think so, okay, next day,
Speaker 2: next day, take it away?
Speaker 3: Well, morning service. Jen is getting a little judge about
Speaker 3: K's performance and kind of starting to think Jen's a
Speaker 3: negative bitch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she's thinking that she's probably maybe a little bit negative,
Speaker 1: and I do want to get to one moment but
Speaker 1: with the Guests, where a guy tells a little anecdote
Speaker 1: about how his wife constant only makes fun of his
Speaker 1: tiny little dick. So he says, you know, you always
Speaker 1: say that I have the perfect penis because your vagina
Speaker 1: is shallow and dead or something like that.
Speaker 2: I don't remember what it was, and.
Speaker 1: He goes, She goes, yeah, I know, and he goes,
Speaker 1: can we just say I have the perfect penis for you?
Speaker 1: Why do we need to categorize it through that kind of.
Speaker 2: It was a lens.
Speaker 3: It's not necessary, like I guess, beat me. It was
Speaker 3: a one of those examples of a pussy half full.
Speaker 2: All right, I want to stop.
Speaker 1: I want to stop for a second because you said, first,
Speaker 1: all right, beat me?
Speaker 2: Which what beat Oh? Okay, are you talking about like
Speaker 2: an optimistic pussy? Yeah, okay, that's what.
Speaker 3: That's where I was going, kind of like an anie
Speaker 3: like rather than say like, you have a small dick,
Speaker 3: it's no, honey, it's my pussies. Yeah, not half empty? Right?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So I love Kat throwing it back in Jen's face.
Speaker 1: I think Kat and Jen are actually fun, and I
Speaker 1: think Kat does really well to weather Jen because I
Speaker 1: think the cat does not want to be around I.
Speaker 3: Know, but why is Kat doing the song and dance
Speaker 3: where she's like, I'm gonna then give this information to
Speaker 3: h to Ka rather than go Jen, Why don't we
Speaker 3: just try and make the best of this.
Speaker 1: I think you gotta if your cat run this up
Speaker 1: the flagpole. You've got, you know, insubordination cats or Kaylee
Speaker 1: should probably know about it, and it's just what see
Speaker 1: rets do. But I will say that Kaylee and Kat
Speaker 1: both handle Jen masterfully. When when Kat tells Kaylee that
Speaker 1: she's been talking bad about you and she's really negative,
Speaker 1: Kaylee goes, We've got so much work to do, it's
Speaker 1: not important, which takes a tremendous amount of emotional discipline
Speaker 1: to really not give it any oxygen. But Kat makes
Speaker 1: fun of Jen for a brief moment where Jen goes,
Speaker 1: I can't.
Speaker 2: Believe she is my chief stew. Chief stews that.
Speaker 1: I've worked with have been in the yachting industry for
Speaker 1: over a decade, over a decade I was twelve.
Speaker 2: I was over a decade ago. I was twelve years old,
Speaker 2: and Kat goes, yeah, and Luke was twenty five. Great comeback,
Speaker 2: great comeback. All right. So Nathan, we get to this
Speaker 2: moment where he just flips at.
Speaker 3: He's losing it. Sleep deprivation yes, and fighting with the
Speaker 3: wife girlfriend yep, baby mama.
Speaker 1: He's not the best version of himself, yes, but he
Speaker 1: is the version of himself currently, the one that is
Speaker 1: on display, So let's talk about it. Joe and Cooper
Speaker 1: are looking at each other and smiling. Now they probably
Speaker 1: are exchanging glances because Nathan is an incompetent baby right
Speaker 1: now because he has a baby and he's sleep deprived,
Speaker 1: and he's also not that good of his job, not
Speaker 1: that good at his job when he's fully arrested. But
Speaker 1: he says, if you guys make those faces again, I'm
Speaker 1: going to go to the captain. This is one of
Speaker 1: these Nathan always goes back to well slept or not.
Speaker 1: He does this thing where he threatens and violence first violence,
Speaker 1: and then does this enforcer thing as though it's going
Speaker 1: to garner respect.
Speaker 2: I think that he has some kind of.
Speaker 1: Nineteen fifties cowboy kind of.
Speaker 3: He's Irish, by the way, but his pussy side is
Speaker 3: I'm gonna rat you out. Just look at him and go, hey, hey,
Speaker 3: are you guys fucking with me? Like, let's fight it out.
Speaker 1: But but there's this thing where he he has this
Speaker 1: picture of a leader in his head, which is somebody
Speaker 1: who's like abusive to other people, and it gets them
Speaker 1: in line, like you're you want to take a warden
Speaker 1: position here, and it's like, you know, there's this famous
Speaker 1: story I think I've told it before, Will Ferrell and
Speaker 1: Adam McKay yelling at their entire.
Speaker 2: On the set of Anchorman.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the Michael Bay story had come out, so
Speaker 1: they thought that they were going to do that, and
Speaker 1: all of the grown adults there just looked at them
Speaker 1: like what are you doing?
Speaker 3: Because well, they were being disparaging and inappropriate with the
Speaker 3: crew for like an.
Speaker 1: Hour, and the crew did not take too kind to it,
Speaker 1: because this is not how you manage people. You don't
Speaker 1: threaten violence, you don't threaten and you're gonna wrap them out.
Speaker 1: This is how you get a mutiny brewing, which is
Speaker 1: exactly what he does.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: At some point, I want to say, the way that
Speaker 3: you earn back respect, Nate is you just start doing
Speaker 3: a good job. That's you gotta slowly get back respect yeah,
Speaker 3: but if you threaten that I'll go to leadership. They
Speaker 3: think you're a bigger loser, asshole.
Speaker 2: They don't want to work for you.
Speaker 1: So Nathan hurts his back. And this is where Sandy's
Speaker 1: patience is just unbelievable. I mean, how much can she
Speaker 1: allot this guy? He's late, he's sloppy, he's rammed the
Speaker 1: boat into the dock.
Speaker 2: He just hurt his back. At this point, Sandy's just like,
Speaker 2: what do I do with this dude?
Speaker 3: Can I tell you how much I've come around to Sandy?
Speaker 3: This is what's great about reality TV is you hate
Speaker 3: people or you don't respect them at all, and then
Speaker 3: you get to know them for a long time and
Speaker 3: you're like, wow, I actually how she dealt with this,
Speaker 3: Because if I was Captain Sandy, I've been like, you
Speaker 3: are such a jackass.
Speaker 2: But she sees an out.
Speaker 1: Or does she She goes, Oh, we gotta get we
Speaker 1: gotta get a scan going, I gotta get you off
Speaker 1: this belt.
Speaker 2: We got to make sure that that back is healthy
Speaker 2: enough to work. Now. This is why I write down
Speaker 2: or why I wrote down that.
Speaker 1: Her patience is unbelievable, because he does this thing where
Speaker 1: he'll just without any insecurity or hesitation tell him tell
Speaker 1: her something that is just completely inappropriate and does not
Speaker 1: bode well for him or make him look good. So
Speaker 1: early on in the season, he went up to her
Speaker 1: and thought they had the kind of relationship to where
Speaker 1: he could just tell her that he wanted to punch
Speaker 1: the guy in the face. And she's like, not appropriate
Speaker 1: to tell me. Then he says, yeah, good points, Sorry
Speaker 1: I didn't call. I should have, just without any fear
Speaker 1: of repromation or reprimanding or anything like that.
Speaker 2: Then we get to this back incident.
Speaker 1: Where he tells her that he had hurt his back
Speaker 1: weeks ago and that he'd gone he'd undergone some kind
Speaker 1: of rehab for it. Essentially, he came to this boat
Speaker 1: not healthy back there, but he just it didn't matter
Speaker 1: to him because he needs to make money and he
Speaker 1: needs to be on the show.
Speaker 2: But if we're in the yacht world rules.
Speaker 1: This is not a good thing to conceal to somebody
Speaker 1: because it puts them in a shitty position. Now he
Speaker 1: is going to be off the boat, and Sandy tells
Speaker 1: joke er, Joe, Hey, I'm gonna need you to step
Speaker 1: up and be here.
Speaker 3: You're in charge.
Speaker 2: And he says, oh no, thank god, oh no, thank god.
Speaker 2: Now is his time to shine?
Speaker 3: To shine? Can I do a mean mile?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: Joy misses her guy?
Speaker 2: Not good.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't know if you caught this still, but
Speaker 3: no one. A listener reminded me of this because everyone
Speaker 3: on the boat knew what what's his face had done.
Speaker 3: But Joy, of all people on this boat, is unaware
Speaker 3: that her best friend codd his boss's bed sheets with
Speaker 3: pole milk.
Speaker 2: M hmmm mm hmm.
Speaker 3: She doesn't know, because had she, I don't think she'd
Speaker 3: be calling him her best friend.
Speaker 2: I like ball barf. Some do, some do very few.
Speaker 1: All right, so we kind of are wrapping up the show.
Speaker 1: Here we go cave diving. Pat, you would not.
Speaker 2: Do this, not in a million years. No, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's way too spooky. Actually, if the tide comes up,
Speaker 2: will die.
Speaker 1: So I don't actually want to be in a position
Speaker 1: where if that could ever happened, I it could happen.
Speaker 2: I don't want that.
Speaker 3: I was almost killed in the ocean like two weeks ago.
Speaker 2: I will never and you were almost killed Like.
Speaker 3: A wave hit me and knock me down on the sand,
Speaker 3: hurt my knee.
Speaker 2: A little scrapie. Yep, no, So we don't do that.
Speaker 1: Then we get back to the boat. We have a
Speaker 1: chicken schnitzel lunch. Now this is a perfect lunch.
Speaker 2: Okay, it is a a chicken schnitzel with a ratituy
Speaker 2: accompanied with fresh lemon.
Speaker 1: Now she's gone to the ratituey trough a couple of
Speaker 1: times this season.
Speaker 2: I'm fine with it because.
Speaker 1: Ratitua is very versatile, vegetable, welcome to really any plate.
Speaker 1: I think ratatui is one of the kings of side dishes.
Speaker 1: So she brings that out again. Now, this is a
Speaker 1: perfect thing to set you up in kind of going
Speaker 1: into the late afternoon.
Speaker 2: This is going to be a base, right.
Speaker 1: You just crushed a chicken, a giant chicken nugget essentially.
Speaker 1: So what we're going to do is we're going to
Speaker 1: establish a base.
Speaker 2: For copious amounts of alcohol consumption later.
Speaker 1: And we're also a little sleepy, so I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: take some RESTful sleep and then I'm gonna wake up.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get ready to bang.
Speaker 1: A Christina or something that starts slugging about shots.
Speaker 2: I'd love joy. This was one hundred pot lunch.
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, she catered to the audience.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: So meanwhile, Sandy is going, I will take a refugee
Speaker 1: that we see swimming in the middle of the ocean.
Speaker 2: At this point, I need someone on this boat to
Speaker 2: help lugshit around. Norma isn't helping. I think that she
Speaker 2: broadens her search, and we start to see Joe.
Speaker 1: Taking over the deck crew. They're getting into a flow,
Speaker 1: They're getting into a groove. And later on in the
Speaker 1: season we're going to see a moment where Joe's made
Speaker 1: this boat run more effectively.
Speaker 2: Welcome Nathan back to.
Speaker 3: The fold in a suit and they're gonna fight. And also,
Speaker 3: sorry spoilers out there, And then Jen's says I think
Speaker 3: I like Coop's dick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, she goes, hey, Coop, you got a big fucking hog,
Speaker 1: don't you. Later on, this season looks really good. The
Speaker 1: season has been so amazing thus far. Get in the comments,
Speaker 1: let us know what you thought about the episode. We
Speaker 1: will be back next week for more.
Speaker 2: I'm Dylan saying goodbye, Pat take it back later.
Speaker 3: Downs