Speaker 1: When your old career gives you lemons. Throwing some ice,
mix in some vodka in color. A podcast from the
Mac of All Trade Studio in Fairport and driven by
Victor Chrysler Dots. Gee Ram, It's Billified, The Bill Moran Podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, hello and welcome. Thanks for getting your pot on,
Thanks for telling a friend. That's how we spread the
word about the Byron ship. Oh wait, you like it
a little louder in your cans? I do. We are
joined today by the son of the great Elvis impersonator,
David Phelps. It's his sun time. Whoo. Why is that
so funny to me?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: I do know is that it's so funny to me?
So funny to me? Dougie?
Speaker 3: So you just love getting under my skin?
Speaker 2: Oh but I but I mean that the nicest loving.
I mean I I just talk to him yesterday. Yeah.
How is how is Dave? He's good? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Taking him to Sunnaca Niagara with Kathy.
Speaker 2: What are you doing that? Uh?
Speaker 3: Two weeks they give They're sending me free rooms and
free this and free that. So I'm like, you know,
I don't want to go away for two days because
they work and so I'm like, you know, I'll drive
up separately, you know, sign in and you guys can
have a two day getaway.
Speaker 2: That's nice. Yeah, nice little gift for your parents. Yeah, yeah,
do what I can. He's bringing the Elvis suit, hung hug.
That room is never gonna smell the same tapioca that
is that that's very funny. Well, good for you. Uh,
why do you think you get you get that for
all the gambling you do.
Speaker 3: Well, I don't get animal there that often. It was
last year. I think I just stopped with friends and
then you're on their mailing list. So it's a fifty
dollars voucher for food, two nights day and one hundred
dollars match play, which means you have to put it
out something that can just even money, like black or
red on a roulette table.
Speaker 2: Yeah, taking the voucher. That sounds like a fun date weekend.
Why aren't you taking like a nobody? It's not true?
That true? Why haven't you just asked somebody like there
are people I know that you're interested in, like you
come across you're a very social guy or this. Why
don't you just ask them some chick to just no, Well.
Speaker 3: It's life is loosening up now after the breast cancer Bowl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, yeah, exactly exactly. So now I'm on the prowl, right,
like a lion, yeah, or cougar. I'm looking for a
aren't injured. You're like the old lion that that they're
they're looking for growing the beard though, it's good. No
shave November. Oh, no shave November.
Speaker 3: This every year?
Speaker 2: Okay, Yeah, I'm supposed to look at you and remember
my prostate. Yes, as it is. Actually there's black.
Speaker 3: Mine is gray. I gotta get the the coloring thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't have a ton of gray hair. I
do have gray hair. I am fifty four years old.
I looking good. I think I look fifty four years old.
So I'm alright, you can pass for forty. Nay, yeah,
I mean that's like exactly right. I I'm not trying
to fool anybody or do anything stupid. I just it
is what it is. At this point, I'm realizing that
there and it's probably because of the mental health classes
that I'm in, Yeah, and all the work that I've done,
and it's been a lot that god damn, you get
so fucked up in this life by the people that
are that. I mean, they they love you. They're your parents, right,
I jokingly bring up, David, they.
Speaker 3: Drive you crazy.
Speaker 2: Well, you have to realize at some point that most
of the things that you were conditioned to maybe believe
about yourself is actually bullshit, and that everything on the
outside doesn't matter. It's what's on the inside. But we
come in here thinking we got to look a certain
way and act a certain way and be a certain
way to fit in, and we worry about what the
other person has and what the other person does, and
it means nothing. It means nothing. And what if you
really want everything you want, you can get it. It's
just inside you. You got to get rid of the
shitty beliefs about yourself. That's really what it is. And
when it's a good theory, No don't know. I'm telling
you right now, and I know it's a good theory,
but it's a lot of work because if you go
inside and you figure out what it is and what
was driving you nuts and why you react in certain situations,
the way you react, a lot of it has to
do with the way you were conditioned, you know what
I mean, and the way you believe people perceive you
and what pisses you off, and you kind of step
back and go, that's bullshit and it doesn't mean anything,
And why did I always believe that? And it's always
held me back. It's like the fear from keeping me
from going forward. And I just think that for me
right now, I'm pretty good the way I am not
I mean working out, working my shit out and having
nobody I don't good. Yeah, I have a friend. I
love hanging out with her. That's about all we do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe later in life there'll be more time for
both of you. Yeah, just keep it going and then
you know, it's just a nice, easy sale.
Speaker 2: Well, I'll tell you where. I'll give you an example
of something that I have sort of talked about, and then
I think maybe I'll say, talking around a lot in
my uh life, that really that was really a fucked
up thing, and then we'll we'll get a little heavy here,
but we'll go lighter with our dad jokes later. Doug's
been texting me twice this week about dad jokes. Twice
you did. You were very serious about it, dog, and
I I appreciated it more than you even fucking know.
I know, I'm a little grumpy today, but I I
don't know.
Speaker 3: It because you can change that with your inner self. Yes,
you can see it and believe it, and then you
can I know you're gonna make fun of this, but
not so here's here's.
Speaker 2: What, dude. If you want to talk to somebody living
in denial. I got out of bed to day. I'm like,
I could still go, right.
Speaker 3: I could get in wrestling shape if I wanted.
Speaker 2: Yes, you could.
Speaker 3: I just don't want to, Okay, because I know how
hard it is. Yes, Okay, when am I going to
benefit from that?
Speaker 2: You might live longer, maybe you might get laid.
Speaker 3: I get laid, Doug, you I can get laate anytime,
and I just have to just have to write the check.
Speaker 2: Yes, Oh yeah, I asked that. Yeah. So anyways, I
told the story. Don't don't no, no, no, I'll.
Speaker 3: Give it the cliff notes. So I uber as many
of you know. And uh, this week I picked somebody
up in the laundry man and she was kind of
mad at me because my hatch on my car it
doesn't work anyway. It's got all her laundry in the
back seat in the front seat and we're joking this
that and kind of flirted and joked with her. Next thing,
you know, she comes around to the passenger side after
she gets laundry out, and she grabs me and this
is not a joke. And she asked me if I
want to fool around, and I go, yeah, I got
a couple of hours short. She goes, well, what do
you you know make a donation. I'm like, oh, yeah,
a lot of you know. So I was just thinking
and I said that, do you have memo? She goes, oh, yeah,
I go, I got it, but I had to work.
I'm getting a new car monday, so I have to
save for a down payments. As alluring as that was,
and as cute as she was and has younger as
she was, I'm gonna say twenty two, ohh my god,
twenty five, which is thirty.
Speaker 2: Years Christ how many times is fifty five going to
twenty five? I don't know.
Speaker 3: For two hundred dollars an hour, ye that I.
Speaker 2: Know of, Yes, mathematically speaking.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be like going to see The Godfather and
I have the projector shutdown after a minute, like this
is really good.
Speaker 2: Yeah, those moments can happen, you know, at times.
Speaker 3: It's amazing. Some of the women I picked up in
the five or six years that you wouldn't know unless
you're driving him to the gates mooteller, another motel, or
you know you're gonna.
Speaker 2: Pick up the gig economy.
Speaker 3: You're picking up Larry and then it's this beautiful woman
and you're taking her back to Buffalo and she's talking
to the back. This happened before too. She's he had
another girl from me, and I was drinking so much
vaca last night. I had to get so fucked up
to do this. I'm listened for an hour and a
half while she's.
Speaker 2: Talking to her for it's jerking off on the way.
But what I was gonna say is like a lot
of times are our past. Things can can fuck us up.
And so for me, I was molested by a babysitter,
male babysitter at six years old, and the things that
went on. Once I kind of realized what gay was,
then I had committed a gay act. I wasn't gay,
but I couldn't figure this out. I was twelve when
I kind of was like, oh my god. So then
you stayed away from women most of your high school
and everything because you didn't want them. I always figured
if I made out with somebody, they would be able
to tell that I had a gay experience before, and
I didn't. I certainly didn't want that. And then when
your hormones just kick in and the next thing, you know,
but everything was like overly sexualized, Like you didn't know
that you could just make out and maybe that should
be enough for today. You were diving, you know, I
mean deep. And so then once you did that, what
fucked up for me was the fact that you were
then sort of locked in with that person, like you
only did that if you really liked them, and they
must really like you. So you got to stay and
you stayed in shitty relationships forever. And I think that
that has been a tough thing for me. And at
the old age that I am, you start to realize
that and that when things do slow down, I don't
know how to handle that. I take it as like rejection.
I take it as I don't I don't know what
this is. It's I'm either all in or I'm out right.
That was the game I always played. But to actually
date conversations, keep a casual light, realize that there are
more priorities in life than just running to you know
what I mean. Yeah, And and that's a fucked up thing,
and it's it's not easy for me. I'll be very
honest with you. It's really not. And it's something that
I am struggling to try to because it's not normal.
Huh no what I went through. No, but that the
actual behavior after that where you can't just kind of
date somebody, You got to be fucking and with them
or not. Do you understand what I'm saying? I know, right,
and and and and even casual sex for me was
not really a thing because I was so fucked up
and meant, oh, they must really like me, so I
gotta stay and that that fucked me up. And then
there were times where you know me.
Speaker 3: Girl fucks me and she likes me just enough.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is normal, I think is a normal way.
I'm just saying, like, that's just one example of rough ship.
And I go, man, I gotta, I gotta. I think
everybody has.
Speaker 3: That skeletons, but things they remember that that kind of
dwell on or you.
Speaker 2: Well, I think there are things. I think there are
things that that control the way you behave and you
they may not be beneficial to you, right, And I
think yeah, you know what I mean, just the way
you behave and or how you react to certain.
Speaker 3: Situations to erase the chalkboard of your mind. You're you're
just gonna go for whatever reason, you're gonna start thinking this, this, that.
Speaker 2: So that's why I think and I do think sometimes
especially for guys. I think it happens after your dad dies.
You start to see some of the things that he
said that you that became a belief about you, you
know what I mean, Like, I mean, my dad a
pretty domineering guy, big personality, very very you know, intelligent,
and would tell you basically you're an idiot and would
take over everything. And so you start to believe that
and I can't do anything. And when you step back
and go, what the fuck got a home improvement conundrum?
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Mac of All Trades. And you got some dad jokes?
Speaker 3: I do have some dad jokes, all right? All right,
So how's this gonna go?
Speaker 2: Whyn't you? You? You start and I try and I
can't laugh.
Speaker 3: That's that's what they do on the other one.
Speaker 2: All right, here we go.
Speaker 3: I might allowed to laugh my own jokes, because you
know I'd usually do that.
Speaker 2: Oh god, you laughed so hard last week at that
one that I put it. I put it on. It
was so perfect. People are ready to be going, oh
my god, I love Yeah. The only thing funny is
him laughing at himself. All right, so what do you got?
Do you know what the elephant said of the naked man?
Do I know what the elephant said to the naked man?
Speaker 3: It's big? But can it pick up peanuts?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 2: My talk, and my doctor told me I need to
watch my drinking. Now. I drink in front of a mirror.
Speaker 3: Ray charl saw that one coming. What do you what
do you get when you cross a rooster in a
jar peanut butter, rooster and a jar of peanut butter.
I cock the sticks of the roof of your mouth.
Speaker 2: I told my son I never want to be kept
alive on a machine, so we unplugged the Wi Fi.
Speaker 3: Uh. My boss hates it when I shortened his name
to Dick, especially since his name is Steve.
Speaker 2: Do you ever get the feeling that like nobody cares
if you're alive? Try and missing the car payment? Oh,
you can't do that, I can't. You're not allowed to
laugh when I do the joke.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm buying a car, so kend of no?
Speaker 1: I know?
Speaker 2: Uh? Do you know the love difference between love lust
and showing off? Love lust and showing off? Yeah?
Speaker 3: No, I don't spit swallow gargle.
Speaker 2: Now that counts.
Speaker 3: Oh yes, I knew i'd get you with that one.
Speaker 2: I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary.
She says, something that goes from zero to two hundred
real fast. So I got her a bathroom scale. Ow.
Speaker 3: Do you know this? First thing Adam said to Eve
was stand back. I don't know how big this thing gets.
Speaker 2: I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey. Let
me turn myself around.
Speaker 3: Do you hear Bill Grays is now selling dearballs for
anybody wants. He's under a buck. That's great for hunting season.
Did I tell you what? Grizzly hunting with my father
last week?
Speaker 2: It's my turn.
Speaker 3: But halfway there we saw a sign that said bear left,
so we turned around and went home. Sorry, it is
your turn.
Speaker 2: They said they don't try this at home, so I
went to Duck's house.
Speaker 3: Do you know what pubic here and lima beans haven't common?
You just push him to the side and keep eating.
Speaker 2: Mh. My son asked me if I believe in karma,
I said, I don't need karma. I am the consequence.
Where pee you? Why did the parrot pirate wear a
paper towel on his hat? Why? Wait? Wait, why did
the pirate wear a paper towel on his hat?
Speaker 3: Yeah, he had a bounty on his head. I might
have wrote that wrong.
Speaker 2: No you didn't. It was perfectly awful. I tell my
kid to follow their dreams, and I said an alarm
clock for four am. Dreams over reality begins.
Speaker 3: Bitch A got him now?
Speaker 2: Yes? Uh?
Speaker 3: A man broke broke into the church and a police
chang chased him aroun until he finally caught him by
the organ. Oh my penis was in the Guinness Book
of World Records till the librarian told me to take
it out.
Speaker 2: Manmamm bamp. If we can make Doug, let's see if
Doug can make Doug laugh. Keep going, keep going. That's
all I got. When my kid misbehaves, I don't yell yeah,
I just start slowly typing his name into a column
savings calculator and then hit the leat.
Speaker 3: In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down exactly
eighty two and forty six trees. I know this because
I kept a log there it is.
Speaker 2: I can't.
Speaker 3: My buddy, My buddy was over Thursday night. We were
watching a football game. My dog was in front of
the TV set licking his balls, and my buddy says,
I wish I could do that. I said, you might
want to try penning him first. Running is a great
way to meet people. Yesterday I met two mts, three nurses,
and a cardiologist.
Speaker 2: Uh. Do you know how you can tell something as
a dad joke? Now it's apparent? Ah, do you know
why I have a bicycle can't stand up by yourself.
It's too tired. Why did the banana go to the
doctors because he wasn't peeling very well.
Speaker 3: I used to work with a lot of appealing women.
They were appealing their clothes out.
Speaker 2: Uh. Why don't some fish play piano because they're in school?
Because you can't tune a fish, you can do the guitar.
Why don't scientists trust adams? I don't know, because they
make everything up? Want they make up everything?
Speaker 3: Do you know where the fish said? Want to swim
into the wall?
Speaker 2: All right, this is getting bad. Damn I think you won?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Oh god? Why am I coffin?
Speaker 3: Do you know how long it takes the every woman
to orgasm?
Speaker 2: Who cares? Yeah?
Speaker 3: I've heard that one.
Speaker 2: It's terrible, terrible. Do you ever do dad? We should
have your dad in and do dad jokes? What I
like when David's around? I know, because it makes you
so uncomfortable. His birthday is coming up in January? How
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Story out this is about a kid who was FISHING
and i think it was a PUBLIC spot i. Don't
know this Is, In. AUSTIN texas a lot of times In,
the south if they have they may there may be
man made water hazards for a, golf course and there's
natural fish show up right because a, bird drops say,
whatever happens and so people start fishing in. Those PLACES
and i don't know if this was private, or not
but listen. To this this is it actually made, the
news but the video went viral and it's not taped
the way you. Would think.
Speaker 4: It was a video of a minor allegedly being threatened
by a man whover fishing went viral on social media
a few, weeks ago and now we're hearing from the
victim's mom about. What Happened Kve Us jessica chas spoke
with her and explains where the.
Speaker 2: Case, stands, now yes oh. Nice Man So.
Speaker 5: Victoria ratana's fourteen year old son is not just. A hobby.
Speaker 2: I've shown off video the kids. Lesion breeze it's everything.
Speaker 4: To him so every day he has to get his
little fix.
Speaker 1: Of fishing it's like non negotiable.
Speaker 5: And that was. No Different on october, twenty second, After
school rentana says her son Went To sullivan park's Pond
Near onion creek to fish. Right here but how does fishing.
Speaker 2: Turn? Into, this, No yes i'm allowed to Fish whenever.
I'm pushing you're, AN idiot.
Speaker 1: I am i read.
Speaker 2: THE signs i catch you out, Here again i'm gonna
punch your lights out so hard you knocked. Yourself out
i'm gonna.
Speaker 3: Drown you get out, of here, Just.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right there. You go that's. The crux so
how old is this kid, twelve fourteen? Fourteen fourteen and
how old is? The guy well, doesn't say and you
don't see him. On camera. They recorded then it was just.
Put down so all you're seeing is the camera is
showing was it? The, kids yeah the kid put. It
down So again, i'll say first, of all you probably
had a better way to say that to. The kid
but was this the first time. THEY interacted i, DON'T
know I don't i don't know if this guy said
hey a, million times get get, off here this is
my property or this is private property. Or whatever but
the kid put the phone down and, record it and
he must have known the guy was. Coming over maybe
the guy. Was yelling he didn't have it on. The
guy he just put it on. The ground so what
you're getting is the audio more. Or less the video
is just kind. Of that you'll see the kid's arm
and you can tell. He's FISHING, UH i i. DON'T
know i think most people have gone like to the better.
Community standards you shouldn't talk to a minor. That way
I'm gonna i'm gonna knock you out and. DROWN you
i mean it sounds like a guy's got having a pretty. Bad,
DAY yeah, i know BUT like i will knock. YOU
out i will hit you so hard you will knock. Yourself,
Out well i'm Thinking like i'll hit you so hard
you're gonna fall down and hit. YOUR head i couldn't, picture,
that right that was a. Little weird And then i'm
going to. Drown, YOU okay i get.
Speaker 3: MORE facts i got to figure out.
Speaker 2: What, THIS well i think like the knee jerk on
everybody is it's. Not you this, Is terrible like you
shouldn't say that to a fourteen year.
Speaker 3: Old kids she's wearing white after labor day at a
fucking idiot.
Speaker 2: Waite what she had a white? SHIRT on i was. In,
it yeah nobody did. MY shoes i thought it was
white shoes shirts is.
Speaker 3: Anything wit i'm. Just JOKING.
Speaker 2: So i, Was, going okay what if that were my
kid and he comes home with that VIDEO and, i
went WHAT Do i WHAT would? I DO and I
think i, would say don't go. Back, There yeah i'm sorry.
That's happened, people assholes but we got to learn to
navigate the world we. Live in and would you call?
Speaker 3: The COPS and? I would.
Speaker 2: I wouldn't i'd, be, like, look no it. Just, HAPPENED
yeah i want to.
Speaker 3: REPORT it i don't know if this guy's gonna try
something again or just happy to see. My, son yeah that's.
The thing if, something happens you get, it, Documented right
but this is where it goes, on two three times
and you don't have. Any documentation, they, say well we
can't do anything until it happens again. And again now it's,
the fifth sixth or, seventh time and we see repeat
offenders getting.
Speaker 2: Out right i'm just on. This one he doesn't have.
Speaker 3: A dad maybe it's just.
Speaker 2: AS mouth i, Don't know but just in this, ONE
incident i thought the kid. Handled, himself fine he didn't,
shoot back he didn't snap back at the. Guy, yourself
no and he was, probably scared but he had. The
video and this IS where. I go, i, mean adults
you probably shouldn't talk to it anybody. That way. NUMBER
one i mean we should. JUST shouldn't i don't know
if cameras make. The guy here's the Thing that i'm
Learning to you never know when you're. Being recorded you
never know when you're. Being recorded you. Just don't we
CAN say i think there's some statistic as to how
many times you're on a camera a day without, your
knowledge whether it be somebody's ring doorbell as you walk
down the street, or WHATEVER because i think those are
always recording.
Speaker 3: Well every seven eleven obviously banks and.
Speaker 2: Anim cameras but but it used to be you would
walk through your neighborhood and there was no video, of
that and now there is because people have ring. Doorbell
cameras is A ad t? Home, security yep there's that.
As well there's, there's ease and there's even, simply safe
which is soon there's a ton. Of, them, yeah right
so you you, Don't know but you also don't know
when somebody uh records something like this. And that and that's.
The thing it's weird because you you're you're saying probably the,
right thing like call, the cops report. The INCIDENT and
i don't KNOW why i FEEL like i would try,
to go guys. AN asshole i can go with you
next time if you're going to, fish there but here
would be, my suggestion stay away, from there. GO fishing
i love that you're fishing and not doing. Something shitty
as a fourteen year, old kid this. Is awesome, you
know you got like this guy's this kid's really. Into
it but you're going to run into shitty people all
your life.
Speaker 3: And you don't know if this was a public, WATERING
hole i.
Speaker 2: COULDN'T tell i think they're saying, it is but, you
know for the news to, GET involved i would assume
they didn't want to look, bad, Either Right so I'M
going i, don't know but you can document, Everything now
so maybe that's good in. A way cameras make us
look act better and behave better. In public maybe that's
that's good. As well it's always fun to see somebody.
MELT down i mean those videos go viral for. A
reason this goes viral for a reason because the, Guy's
like i'll hit you so hard you'll knock. Yourself out which,
Number one i'd, be, like huh how's that there's?
Speaker 3: A video much last night lady in the? Locker room
have you seen? This, ONE no a guy tried to
go in the ladies locker room take a shower because
when identify as, a woman and she just went off.
At Him fox NEWS and i just turned off im
like here.
Speaker 1: WE go.
Speaker 2: I don't think that's happening in a lot. Of places
i'm not saying.
Speaker 3: CLEARLY wondering, i mean how fast it would take me
a probably not even ten seconds to get my phone
a video and start. Recording something exactly what are?
Speaker 5: You?
Speaker 2: ACCOMPLISHING well i mean. Two things one is somebody is
gonna recognize that, guy's, voice right someone somebody knows who that.
Guy is we have also seen people act like, complete
assholes like the lady who went over and demanded, the
ball but she, Was, YEAH karen i hope she, gets
somebody but she lost, her JOB and i don't think it.
Is either but but here's the, Bad part like if
you own the company and that person becomes a viral
sensation for something negative and they look like, an asshole
and you're getting a BUNCH of i can't believe you
employ this piece. OF shit i wish the boss would
stand up, And say i'm not endorsing what, she did
but she's a. Great employee she's been here for a
number of Years and i'm not going to. Fire her
and if that means.
Speaker 3: You ride that wave out for, a week this.
Speaker 2: Is what, i'm saying right because we all it's the,
mob mentality right, This guy it's a mob mentality. For,
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mj dispensary five eight five. DOT com I know i've
known people who've been on dating apps, and, things right
and you've been, on THERE but I and i don't
KNOW and i and then you used to have the
success stories there used to be like the match dot
com man we met Him, Mag, Yeah, mary yeah he hates,
me now, uh yeah but the but is the? Mystery
gone because, you're like is there such a thing as
a blind? Date anymore like remember a? Blind date like
when you've set, up somebody right and you sight, unseen
right you'd have to go on. My description now you
go what's? Your name and You can. Google search you
CAN have ai scour the planet and. FIND pictures i
heard of.
Speaker 3: A blind date in years because all my friends are
married or divorced and they get hooked up with. Somebody else,
of course, you know first you got, a picture let. Me,
see yeah YOU know i have a friend that you.
Speaker 2: Might, like yeah but BUT but i mean then, you go.
Speaker 3: There weren't three married women at the bar. Last night
they COULDN'T believe i, Was, SINGLE okay i just, You know,
i'm like you can.
Speaker 2: Believe it put that picture, out.
Speaker 3: There right BUT then i gave her my number because
one of her friends was looking FOR a dj and
one was a breast. Cancer survivor, i'm like look me Up.
AT facebook i just hit. MY events i want to be. With,
it next what was your?
Speaker 2: Last, RELATIONSHIP oh i don't remember.
Speaker 3: Relationship relationship there was a WOMAN Named ii lean that
went for a couple of years serious and then just
kind of.
Speaker 2: Faded.
Speaker 3: OUT yeah i ran into her a few years once
or twice. A. YEAR now i haven't seen HER since
i DJ'ed her son's wedding four.
Speaker 2: Years, Ago, yeah oh were you seeing? Her? Then? No
no did she bring a date to?
Speaker 3: The, Wedding no but those feelings are GONE and i
knew it was going to. End, anyway, yeah yeah. Years
ago so what.
Speaker 2: Was the moment? That happens because there's always a moment
in a relationship where, you're.
Speaker 3: Like yeah this isn't, you know just wasn't the? Sparks?
THERE yeah, I mean i know you got a, working
Relationship but, i'm, like hey, you know she. HAD kids
i still didn't, Have kids so there's still that thought
of my HEAD that i might meet somebody that might.
Have one, you know that's past now having kids at
fifty five. Years.
Speaker 2: Old, NO no i ran into. A buddy mind he's,
fifty three he's got a four year old, good FRIEND and, I, go, God,
damn pete what are? You doing what did? He say,
HE goes i. Love it, he's like it keeps. Me
young but he also, is DIVORCED and i don't know.
A situationship i guess we call. IT now i have.
No idea but he has kids from seventeen to to four.
Years old, you know you kind of get built. IN
babysitting i guess, at, seventeen right you, could, go yeah how?
Speaker 3: Many kids does?
Speaker 5: He?
Speaker 2: Have? A? Five six four?
Speaker 5: Or?
Speaker 2: Five? Five yeah? Probably, FIVE yeah i, don't know. SEVENTEEN
four i don't. KNOW what i. Don't know this wasn't
that my, you know was in? My, path, no no. Apparently,
NOT no i was vicariously through my, friend's KIDS which. I,
LOVE yeah i, don't know. They're great, oh, no, no,
no no that's NOT what. I mean i'm, just saying like,
FOR you i was, just, curious like what? Is it
what seriously? LIKE this i don't even think three married
women women looked at you and said you would be
a fun guy to.
Speaker 3: Be, with WELL when i dressed up, FOR work i
have a nice vest and set a, Tie, set yeah fifteen.
Different colors LAST night i was. Wearing ONE but i
Were On New year's eve and they had been in,
there BEFORE and i had gotten them laughing, and giggling
and you know the one they're. ALL married, I go
I think i remember you and the one girl in.
THE middle i don't know if it was her, first
time but, she said aren't. You married, i'm, Like No
i'm i'm a two tight widower because you are. To,
GO yeah i get married right out of high school
and begin in nature and hiking with my wife and
she mushrooms and they happen to be poisonous and. She died,
she goes oh, MY god. I. Go yeah then then my,
second wife fifteen, years later was beaten to death with.
A hammer, she goes. It's terrible she wouldn't eat the,
fucking mushrooms which is an, old joke and not a
lot of. People know they got, to LAUGH and i
poured them all wine.
Speaker 2: And YEAH but i just go there's. No mystery there's not,
Even mystery and like how to get to the. Person's
house if you were going YOU, got gps you could
drive by before you can see what they're, really like
are they? Lying? ABOUT all?
Speaker 3: I think?
Speaker 1: With?
Speaker 3: Dating uh like anything even, animal uh animal intuition is,
the chase and you don't have to chase make. It me,
i'm like, Let's GO like i doesn't you know there's no,
big cheese, You, know yeah there's not like he's not.
Going anywhere, you know YOU know i Can get DOUG whenever.
I want, you know. He's easy, you know Somebody. Like
moran that's On you bilif he's, got kids.
Speaker 2: He's busy this time.
Speaker 3: Is limited, YOU know i gotta. Keep you you better
bring your, egg, game absolutely. That's RIGHTLY time i can
see Him is sunday after brunch from two thirty to.
Three thirty i'm gonna fuck his, brains out.
Speaker 2: But done i'm gonna scramble that boy's eggs Is what i'm.
Gonna do i'm gonna butter. HIS toast i met a
chicken the other day with.
Speaker 3: A vision did?
Speaker 2: You? REALLY yeah i believe somebody chicken went. Be cock
here we? Go, again no here we? Go again? Be, cock,
yes okay GOD it i was, asking everybody? Got?
Speaker 3: It okay SO when i do go on a, DATE
again i will let.
Speaker 2: You know. YOU won't i won't. EVER again i don't.
THINK so i don't think. YOU will i think.
Speaker 3: YOU'RE jaded i asked somebody over last Week. For gulash where's?
The joke there was. No joke she was busy trying
to get somebody over. For, dinner well why did you
SAY that i just? Did goulash sounds gulash when made right. Is,
DELICIOUS yes I think i had a Post, on facebook,
You know i'm making goolash. To night it's.
Speaker 2: A fall then she.
Speaker 3: Wrote, you yeah she's like that's.
Speaker 2: My favorite and you said come over and, she's, like
uh not.
Speaker 3: RIGHT THERE i i was waiting to make, it again
like a month down.
Speaker 2: The, Line hey i'm.
Speaker 3: Making gulash let me know when, you're free and she
never got back.
Speaker 2: To me, So, cock well you Know what. I'M starting i.
BELIEVE this i think silence is also, a message, you
know and that, That uh.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna go fishing away for somebody to to.
Speaker 2: Draft. ME well i, think also like, you wish every
adult has unfiltered thoughts that they'll never really share about.
People situation maybe they. DO it i share more on here.
Speaker 3: Than yeah my fa because most everybody here is. A stranger,
but yeah but. WE interacted i like to get the
last obviously and try to be interesting in.
Speaker 2: Your show, and yeah but there's jealousy and there's like
that people have intrusive thoughts no understanding it or or
even that moral hypocrisy or, you, know well, you know
You understand i'm saying like everybody would have this like
moral outrage over something the way, somebody dresses the words,
they say and really they're thinking the same thing there
and maybe doing it doing something that they don't want
anybody to. KNOW about, i mean, come on think of
the biggest, moral, people uh people who claim to adhere
to a higher moral standard In The. United states and
what did we do when we saw those? People fall they. Fucking,
cheered Man When tammy Fay And jim bakers it all came.
Tumbling down the fucking world.
Speaker 3: Went, great NO but, i mean but because he was
fucking somebody else and, she was she didn't know, about
it got water all over. The place, Oh good so.
Speaker 2: That's right i'm swinging my hands Around Like. I'm, italian
uh THAT'S all I just i THAT'S what i. ALWAYS thinking, i,
go man everybody's thinking the. Same thing but wouldn't you
like to know why this woman, SHE goes I Love
gulash and then you start, a conversation and then when
you write her that you're having, gulash again, you think,
ooh ooh here's the key to unlock The.
Speaker 3: Chastity, bell well i'll tell you as you, GET older
i know women like food better than sex because they're gonna.
Eat more what are they having? More often sex and?
Speaker 2: Good?
Speaker 3: Food yeah so the allure, Ah, food yes maybe that's your.
Speaker 2: Way in maybe you know, deviled. Eggs eggs, you know
what did? You?
Speaker 3: Do jo there was a girl over the summer that it.
WAS easter i was selling. Double eggs she was at.
THE restaurant i. Love them, i'm, like well i'll make.
IT some i never heard back, from her, of Course not.
Speaker 2: I'm done what do you mean? You're done?
Speaker 3: Come on and, then Uh, in september somebody in the,
bar says do you? Know SUBTLE so, i, GO yeah.
I tried she said she liked, double LEGS and i
wrote Her. On facebook, she goes she does love, double leggs.
Speaker 2: And she said she.
Speaker 3: Liked You and, i'm, like well then when didn't she ever?
Reach out and, SHE goes i, Don't know and then,
GOLF league. I didn't she didn't, Here again so that.
Speaker 2: Was that you make it sound so hopeless, In it, but,
no no you KNOW what i, think SOMETIMES but i
think here's this is. Really true I'm gonna i'm gonna
say it and let's see if you agree. WITH it
i think you get to a certain AGE and i
don't know that it's. A game i think some women
have had a marriage fail and then maybe another relationship
after that that maybe they thought was something and, that
ended and they're just waiting for everybody to. Just leave
like they get there's somewhat jaded to a point, where yeah,
you're fun you're a. Nice guy but and unless you
stay in contact in a not even in A and
i don't mean in a, creepy way but just kind,
of hey checking in. WHATEVER whatever i think you.
Speaker 3: Admitted that as too much or. Too little there's never a.
Speaker 2: Good RIGHT but, I mean i'm, not like but do.
Speaker 3: What girls like that over fifty they have their girlfriends
and they have to hang with them because they're all
in the. Same boat and to bring somebody else in,
that boat she's not gonna get. A guy unless you
have a guy that's got to be all the same
timing to have the forceome. Go, OUT maybe, i mean
you can't have MORE than. I do and she wanted
to have MORE than i do because then she's gonna
have to hear about it and, blah blah. Blah.
Speaker 2: BLAH maybe, I mean i know people who are okay with. That's, what, no,
Okay right so that's so there's, your, Experience right so
you're coming from it from a somewhat daded point of.
View too And all i'm, saying is maybe if we
just put the jaded stuff away and you just sort
of went and just, being, funny Charming funny doug and
just throw it out there every once in. A while, and,
look man maybe once in.
Speaker 3: A while i'm there.
Speaker 2: Every, Day no But what i'm saying, IS like i
think my women are between crack core and part time employee.
Speaker 3: SEVEN eleven i got THAT'S where.
Speaker 2: I see i, see that, YOU know i. See that
but let's raise. Our, standards okay we raise. Our Standards
all i'm saying to you is keep reaching out to
these people once in a while and get a fucking
absolutely cast that, net, Wider, buddy yes that dick don't.
Suck ITSELF because i. LOVE rejection i thrive it makes.
Me feel but who says it's? Gonna happen and why
why does it have to be? Like that you, just,
go hey how's it? Going? TO hey i hope you're
having a great day was just thinking about You because
i'm making.
Speaker 3: Good earlier on the show about how. Things earlier this
Is what.
Speaker 2: I'm saying so this is happened earlier, in, LIFE right
i know. It has my point is fun that. It's
not it doesn't mean getting doesn't mean it's. Gonna.
Speaker 3: Happen now if you women that you want, to fuck
somebody is bound to. Say, yes yes That's what. I'm
saying but the girl That likes i'm looking for number one,
right here the girl that, likes no just write, Her,
message hey making.
Speaker 2: Deviled eggs remember you? Liked him you popped into. MY
mind i hope you're well and leave. It, there okay.
What happens maybe you'll get a no? THANK you i.
Don't know maybe you get no, thank you no thank, you,
dog no no, Thank, you bill no. Thank you no
one knows what.
Speaker 3: THAT means i.
Speaker 2: LOVE it i. Know too THAT'S why i. DO too
i do Jo For, douggie fresh the Son of David
The Great Elviston Personal bill moran will see. You tomorrow
walk up in, a hotel didn't know what to do
and TURN A tv gan rule a la