WEBVTT 1 00:00:02.399 --> 00:00:06.320 Hey, everyone, Welcome to Pastor Rick's Daily Hope, the Bible 2 00:00:06.400 --> 00:00:11.080 teaching ministry that's here to encourage and inspire you every day. 3 00:00:11.279 --> 00:00:15.400 And today we're bringing our series called Awesome Relationships to 4 00:00:15.519 --> 00:00:19.480 a close. In this series, Rick Warren shares practical ways 5 00:00:19.519 --> 00:00:24.039 to help you take your relationships with family, friends, co workers, 6 00:00:24.239 --> 00:00:28.960 and even God from ordinary to extraordinary. This is a 7 00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:32.079 series you won't want to miss. And now let's get 8 00:00:32.079 --> 00:00:34.439 to past A Rick with the final part of a 9 00:00:34.520 --> 00:00:38.560 message called six Keys to Peace in Relationships. 10 00:00:39.799 --> 00:00:42.520 Number three. If I want to be wise, I won't 11 00:00:42.560 --> 00:00:49.359 minimize your feelings. I don't compromise my integrity. I don't 12 00:00:49.359 --> 00:00:52.159 antagonize your anger, push your hot buttons, and I don't 13 00:00:52.200 --> 00:00:56.600 minimize your feelings. Wisdom acknowledges your feelings and doesn't diminish them. 14 00:00:57.520 --> 00:00:59.920 See the typical reaction when we don't feel what other 15 00:01:00.079 --> 00:01:04.640 people feel, we do two things. Number One, we belittle them. 16 00:01:04.959 --> 00:01:07.439 If you had a brain, you would know that's just 17 00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:11.560 not true. And you who wouldn't feel that way, we belittle. 18 00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:13.920 That doesn't help. And the other thing, this is worse, 19 00:01:14.200 --> 00:01:17.120 is we play psychologists. Now. The reason you feel this 20 00:01:17.159 --> 00:01:24.519 way is because your father, Oh, okay, all right. You 21 00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:28.719 know you are not a psychologist, and you are condescending 22 00:01:28.879 --> 00:01:31.120 when you try to tell people why they feel the 23 00:01:31.159 --> 00:01:33.959 way they feel. You don't even know why you feel 24 00:01:33.959 --> 00:01:37.480 the way you feel. You can't figure out your own 25 00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:39.359 motives half the time. Why would you think you could 26 00:01:39.359 --> 00:01:43.920 figure out somebody else's The moment you start judging somebody 27 00:01:43.920 --> 00:01:46.879 else's motives, you're playing God and you're wrong. That's a 28 00:01:46.920 --> 00:01:51.959 battle you're going to lose. Don't play psychologists Privates fifteen 29 00:01:52.000 --> 00:01:55.400 four US as this in the Bible. Kind words bring life, 30 00:01:56.760 --> 00:02:02.400 but cruel words crush your spirit. You ever come home 31 00:02:02.439 --> 00:02:04.239 from a day of work and play the game my 32 00:02:04.400 --> 00:02:09.120 day was worse than your day? Well, I had this problem, 33 00:02:09.400 --> 00:02:12.000 you know, And you know your husband or your wife 34 00:02:12.319 --> 00:02:15.319 or your roommate tells you all about things, and instead 35 00:02:15.360 --> 00:02:19.439 of you sympathizing, empathizing and being considerate, you say you 36 00:02:19.479 --> 00:02:24.680 think you had problems. No, no, those are minor. Let 37 00:02:24.719 --> 00:02:27.719 me tell you what a real problem is. And you 38 00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:33.280 start telling your problem. Is that actually helping the relationship. No, 39 00:02:34.039 --> 00:02:38.599 it's foolish, it's not wise. The Bible says, wisdom is gentle, 40 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:41.960 wisdom is considerate. Is it possible you both had a 41 00:02:42.000 --> 00:02:45.479 tough day. Yes, Is it possible that you could be 42 00:02:45.520 --> 00:02:49.280 considerate of their tough day without having to top it? Yes? 43 00:02:51.039 --> 00:02:53.000 What am I saying? I'm saying if you want to 44 00:02:53.039 --> 00:02:55.800 be wise, if you want to stop making the same 45 00:02:55.840 --> 00:02:59.560 stupid relational mistakes over and over and over, you need 46 00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:03.319 to stop minimizing other people's feelings. You need to let 47 00:03:03.439 --> 00:03:08.280 your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your spouse, your parents, your children, whoever. 48 00:03:08.599 --> 00:03:11.400 You need to let them feel what they feel without 49 00:03:11.439 --> 00:03:14.879 minimizing it. You need to let them feel tired when 50 00:03:14.919 --> 00:03:17.000 they're tired and not try to talk them out. You 51 00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:19.280 need to let them feel depressed when they're depressed and 52 00:03:19.319 --> 00:03:20.879 not try to talk them out of it. You need 53 00:03:20.919 --> 00:03:25.360 to let them feel angry or alone or scared. When 54 00:03:25.400 --> 00:03:31.439 they feel that way, friends offer kind words, not remedies. 55 00:03:32.560 --> 00:03:34.759 The other day, Kay was being interviewed and they asked 56 00:03:34.800 --> 00:03:36.639 her and said, do you wake up grumpy in the morning? 57 00:03:36.680 --> 00:03:42.639 She said, no, I usually let him sleep. She's considerate, 58 00:03:43.800 --> 00:03:49.560 she's considerate, she lets me sleep in some days. I 59 00:03:49.560 --> 00:03:56.520 don't believe in God before eleven am number four. Wisdom 60 00:03:57.479 --> 00:04:00.800 is willing to yield to others. Your tom is going 61 00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:06.080 to come and teach us on this fourth mark of wisdom. 62 00:04:06.319 --> 00:04:09.960 It's open to reason, it allows discussion, discussion. This Greek 63 00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:12.280 word eupathist, it's the only time in the whole Bible 64 00:04:12.280 --> 00:04:15.039 this word is used, and it's a great word for 65 00:04:15.159 --> 00:04:20.279 wisdom and relationships. It means you're not stubborn, you're not defensive. Now, 66 00:04:20.319 --> 00:04:21.879 how do you know that? How do you know if 67 00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:22.600 you have this kind of. 68 00:04:22.639 --> 00:04:23.519 Quality in your life? 69 00:04:23.600 --> 00:04:25.759 One of the main ways you know is how you listen. 70 00:04:26.480 --> 00:04:28.160 That's one of the main ways that you see this 71 00:04:28.279 --> 00:04:32.240 willingness to yield to others. The wiser you are, the 72 00:04:32.240 --> 00:04:36.079 better a listener you will be, and the more foolish 73 00:04:36.160 --> 00:04:38.120 you are, the less you will listen to others. 74 00:04:38.439 --> 00:04:40.240 I've got to admit I do a very. 75 00:04:40.160 --> 00:04:43.199 Unwise thing all the time in relationships. 76 00:04:43.199 --> 00:04:44.399 It's totally unwise. 77 00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.199 I tend to finish people's sentences for them. 78 00:04:47.439 --> 00:04:48.399 Anybody else do this. 79 00:04:49.040 --> 00:04:51.160 You know they're saying something and I want to move 80 00:04:51.199 --> 00:04:53.800 the conversation along, so I like say the end of 81 00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:56.560 the sentence. That's very unwise because I'm not letting them 82 00:04:56.600 --> 00:04:58.839 say what they want to say, and I may not 83 00:04:59.000 --> 00:04:59.879 hear really. 84 00:04:59.639 --> 00:05:01.079 What I I need to hear in that. 85 00:05:01.319 --> 00:05:04.639 So if you're wise, you realize it's foolish to cut 86 00:05:04.680 --> 00:05:08.319 people off. It's foolish to not let people have their say, 87 00:05:08.360 --> 00:05:10.279 it's foolish to jump to conclusions. 88 00:05:10.720 --> 00:05:11.600 So instead of. 89 00:05:11.519 --> 00:05:13.439 That, you want to be you want to be open 90 00:05:13.480 --> 00:05:16.439 to reason. You want to be willing to listen, you 91 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:18.600 want to be willing to learn. Now, if I asked him, 92 00:05:19.199 --> 00:05:21.800 are you a reasonable person? I think most of us 93 00:05:21.800 --> 00:05:24.199 would say, yes, I'm reasonable. Let me ask you, how 94 00:05:24.199 --> 00:05:25.399 do you know you're reasonable? 95 00:05:26.040 --> 00:05:27.000 Because think about this. 96 00:05:26.920 --> 00:05:29.639 If you were unreasonable, you wouldn't know you were unreasonable 97 00:05:29.639 --> 00:05:32.720 because you are unreasonable. So how do you know if 98 00:05:32.759 --> 00:05:34.279 you're really a reasonable person. 99 00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:37.199 One of the ways that you know is do you 100 00:05:37.279 --> 00:05:38.120 listen to others? 101 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:39.920 Let me tell you one of the main ways you 102 00:05:39.959 --> 00:05:43.279 know if you're a reasonable person. Can people you disagree 103 00:05:43.360 --> 00:05:47.360 with reason with you. If you have people in your life, 104 00:05:47.399 --> 00:05:49.199 you disagree with them, but they can reason with. 105 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:50.199 You, you can talk through it. 106 00:05:50.439 --> 00:05:51.959 That's one of the ways that you know that you're 107 00:05:52.000 --> 00:05:54.759 a reasonable person. But a lot of us we have 108 00:05:54.839 --> 00:05:58.480 this attitude. Don't confuse me with the facts. My mind 109 00:05:58.720 --> 00:06:01.720 is made up. I want your opinion. I'll give it 110 00:06:01.720 --> 00:06:04.040 to you, we have this kind of an attitude, and 111 00:06:04.079 --> 00:06:06.800 so because of that, we're not wise in relationships. And 112 00:06:06.800 --> 00:06:07.839 because of that, we all. 113 00:06:07.680 --> 00:06:08.319 Struggle with this. 114 00:06:09.199 --> 00:06:12.879 We have this oversensitivity when it comes to talking to 115 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:16.839 other people with other people's suggestions, because it's tough. Let's 116 00:06:16.879 --> 00:06:20.279 just admit it, it is tough to hear the suggestions 117 00:06:20.279 --> 00:06:21.040 of other people. 118 00:06:21.720 --> 00:06:23.120 You have to put yourself out there. 119 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:25.439 Like that new pastor who said to his church first 120 00:06:25.480 --> 00:06:27.319 sermon he was preaching and he said, you know, I 121 00:06:27.360 --> 00:06:32.519 really want I really want your honest suggestions afterwards, So 122 00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:34.519 after the message, he was talking to one of the 123 00:06:34.560 --> 00:06:36.759 men in the church and he said, okay, give me 124 00:06:36.800 --> 00:06:40.279 your honest suggestions. And the guy said, well, honestly, Pastor, 125 00:06:40.680 --> 00:06:41.639 that sermon stunk. 126 00:06:42.959 --> 00:06:44.040 And the guy looked at him. 127 00:06:43.879 --> 00:06:47.160 And said he was trying to be reasonable. He said, well, okay, 128 00:06:47.519 --> 00:06:50.920 what exactly stunk about it? He really wanted to hear 129 00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:53.959 and he said, well, there were three things that stunk 130 00:06:54.000 --> 00:06:57.720 about it. First, you read it, Second, you read it poorly, 131 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:02.439 and third it wasn't worth reading in the first place. Now, 132 00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:04.680 the next guy that came talk to the pastors trying 133 00:07:04.680 --> 00:07:06.319 to encourage him and said, dont worry about old Jim. 134 00:07:06.319 --> 00:07:07.800 He just repeats what everybody else says. 135 00:07:07.839 --> 00:07:12.040 So don't don't worry about don't worry about that at all. 136 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:15.319 The tough thing about listening to other people and hearing 137 00:07:15.360 --> 00:07:18.600 their suggestions is you got to put yourself out there 138 00:07:18.839 --> 00:07:20.800 and it can hurt sometimes. But if you're going to 139 00:07:20.839 --> 00:07:22.879 be wise, in fact, write this in with me. If 140 00:07:22.879 --> 00:07:26.879 I want to be wise, I won't criticize your suggestions. 141 00:07:27.920 --> 00:07:30.959 I won't criticize your suggestions. A wise person can learn 142 00:07:31.480 --> 00:07:32.319 from anybody. 143 00:07:33.240 --> 00:07:33.600 Listen. 144 00:07:34.040 --> 00:07:37.879 Even a broken clock is right twice a day. So 145 00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:40.319 people in your life, they're going to be right. And 146 00:07:40.399 --> 00:07:42.279 let me tell you something God does in my life 147 00:07:42.279 --> 00:07:43.519 and he's going to do in your life. 148 00:07:43.360 --> 00:07:44.480 To totally humble you. 149 00:07:44.480 --> 00:07:46.879 When it comes to listening to other people's suggestions. There 150 00:07:46.879 --> 00:07:48.920 are going to be people in your life, the most 151 00:07:48.959 --> 00:07:51.720 irritating people in your life that you drive me crazy, 152 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:54.439 kind of people we're talking about. Sometimes they're going to 153 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:57.839 have a good suggestion. That person in your family that 154 00:07:57.879 --> 00:07:59.680 they're wrong about everything else they're going to be right 155 00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:02.519 about something. That person at your office, that person at 156 00:08:02.519 --> 00:08:05.240 your school. It's the worst thing in the world when 157 00:08:05.279 --> 00:08:08.959 the very person that's driving you crazy has a good 158 00:08:09.000 --> 00:08:11.920 suggestion for your life. But let me ask you. Can 159 00:08:11.959 --> 00:08:14.959 you learn from them? Can you learn from anybody? Look 160 00:08:14.959 --> 00:08:17.759 at this next verse in the outline Proverbs eighteen fifteen. 161 00:08:18.000 --> 00:08:21.439 Intelligent people are always open to new ideas. 162 00:08:21.480 --> 00:08:23.279 In fact, they look for. 163 00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:25.360 Them anywhere and everywhere. 164 00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:28.160 You look for these new ideas. Now, what if people 165 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:29.360 have a stupid idea? 166 00:08:29.839 --> 00:08:32.600 Will you do the same thing with their stupid idea 167 00:08:32.639 --> 00:08:35.200 that you do with your stupid ideas. If it's a 168 00:08:35.240 --> 00:08:37.519 good idea, you listen to it and you learn. If 169 00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:39.399 it's a stupid idea, then you. 170 00:08:39.399 --> 00:08:40.679 Ignore it and you forget it. 171 00:08:40.960 --> 00:08:44.720 Stop wasting your life trying to prove a stupid idea 172 00:08:44.799 --> 00:08:47.720 right or wrong. Just move on to the next good idea. 173 00:08:47.840 --> 00:08:51.200 If I'm wise, I'm open to suggestions. I won't criticize 174 00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:52.039 your suggestions. 175 00:08:55.120 --> 00:08:58.840 You know, I have spent much of my life hanging 176 00:08:58.879 --> 00:09:02.480 out with people I told disagree with so I could 177 00:09:02.519 --> 00:09:05.320 share the love of Jesus with them and help them 178 00:09:05.320 --> 00:09:08.279 come to know Christ, which means I've heard a lot 179 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:13.200 of stupid ideas. I've sat in groups of people who 180 00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:15.360 share on me the stuff that's the most off the wall, 181 00:09:15.440 --> 00:09:18.799 crazy idea. What do you do. You just smile and 182 00:09:18.840 --> 00:09:23.320 you nod, and you don't interrupt, and you let them 183 00:09:23.320 --> 00:09:27.039 say their entire peace. Because what I've learned is if 184 00:09:27.080 --> 00:09:30.000 you let people say their entire piece, they'll let you 185 00:09:30.039 --> 00:09:33.279 say you're entire peace. And then I can come back 186 00:09:33.320 --> 00:09:35.879 and say, well, here's what I think, here's what I believe, 187 00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:38.000 here's what the Bible says, and be like, oh, well 188 00:09:38.039 --> 00:09:39.919 that makes sense. I've never thought about it that way. 189 00:09:40.639 --> 00:09:43.000 But if you try to interrupt them in advance, you 190 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:45.519 try to take them down point by point, you are 191 00:09:45.559 --> 00:09:49.080 being a fool. It is foolish to try to take 192 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:51.919 people down point by point. You just make them mad. 193 00:09:53.399 --> 00:09:55.879 Tom said, you just got a listen. You got to 194 00:09:55.919 --> 00:09:59.159 be open to reason. Now. Number five, the Bible says 195 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:03.279 wisdom is full of mercy and good deeds. Circle that 196 00:10:03.320 --> 00:10:06.759 word mercy. If I'm gonna be wise, I'm going to 197 00:10:07.039 --> 00:10:11.519 maximize mercy. I'm going to major on mercy in my relationships. 198 00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:13.919 Full of mercy and good deeds. In other words, it's 199 00:10:14.039 --> 00:10:17.399 wise to show grace to people when they mess up, 200 00:10:18.039 --> 00:10:20.639 when they blow it, when they sin, when they fumble, 201 00:10:20.639 --> 00:10:23.600 when they flub up, when they have faults, when they fail. 202 00:10:23.960 --> 00:10:27.240 It's wise to show mercy when people show up. It's 203 00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:32.200 wise to cut people slack when they mess up. Let's 204 00:10:32.279 --> 00:10:35.000 just take it this way. Who is the wisest person 205 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:40.120 in the universe? God? Who is the most merciful person 206 00:10:40.320 --> 00:10:45.320 in the universe? God? You think there's any little connection there? Yes, 207 00:10:45.639 --> 00:10:51.440 fools are judgmental. Wise people are merciful. Anytime I start 208 00:10:51.559 --> 00:10:56.399 judging you, I'm being foolish. Anytime I'm being merciful, I'm 209 00:10:56.399 --> 00:11:01.480 being like God. And that's wise. To give people the 210 00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:05.080 benefit of the doubt. It's wise to show grace, to 211 00:11:05.159 --> 00:11:08.399 show mercy, to be forgiving, to cut people some slack. 212 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:12.600 God cuts me slack all the time, so I better 213 00:11:12.600 --> 00:11:17.120 cut it to somebody else. Everything you have in life 214 00:11:17.320 --> 00:11:20.440 is a sheer gift from God. Your next breath is 215 00:11:20.480 --> 00:11:23.200 because of the mercy of God. You wouldn't be alive 216 00:11:23.360 --> 00:11:25.399 if it weren't for the mercy of God. If it 217 00:11:25.440 --> 00:11:28.279 weren't for the grace of God, you wouldn't see, here, touch, smell, 218 00:11:28.559 --> 00:11:32.080 you wouldn't exist. Everything and I have and everything you 219 00:11:32.120 --> 00:11:35.759 have is because God is a merciful and gracious God. 220 00:11:36.200 --> 00:11:38.879 God doesn't give me what I deserve. He gives me 221 00:11:38.919 --> 00:11:41.399 what I need. If I got what I deserve, I 222 00:11:41.399 --> 00:11:44.120 wouldn't be standing here. If you got what you deserve, 223 00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:47.600 you wouldn't be alive. God doesn't give you what you deserve. 224 00:11:48.039 --> 00:11:50.759 He gives you what you need. That's mercy, and the 225 00:11:50.799 --> 00:11:56.840 Bible says that's wise. Wise people give people what they need, 226 00:11:57.200 --> 00:12:00.440 not what they deserve. That's mercy, and that's with So 227 00:12:00.440 --> 00:12:03.799 here's the fifth mark of wisdom in a relationship. If 228 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:06.600 I want to be wise with my kids, my boyfriend, 229 00:12:06.639 --> 00:12:08.720 my girlfriend, my husband, my wife. If I want to 230 00:12:08.759 --> 00:12:14.799 be wise, I won't emphasize your mistakes because I am merciful. 231 00:12:15.120 --> 00:12:21.000 Wise people don't rub it in. Wise people are merciful. 232 00:12:21.120 --> 00:12:23.000 So let me ask you, how high do you rate 233 00:12:23.080 --> 00:12:26.480 on mercy? Do you jump on every fault or blunder 234 00:12:27.120 --> 00:12:30.960 you know, great mood klutso you know you're always picking 235 00:12:31.000 --> 00:12:33.600 at people, always pointing out their errors a mistake. Do 236 00:12:33.679 --> 00:12:37.919 you continually bring up the past and every little sin 237 00:12:38.000 --> 00:12:40.440 that your husband or your wife or your girlfriend or 238 00:12:40.440 --> 00:12:43.120 whoever has done you file it back so you can 239 00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:45.879 pull it out when you need to get a little leverage. 240 00:12:47.279 --> 00:12:49.759 Heard about a high school kid recently came home from 241 00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:52.399 school with a bad report card, and his dad blew 242 00:12:52.440 --> 00:12:56.919 a gasket. And next day he went back to school 243 00:12:56.919 --> 00:12:59.519 and his friend at school said, what did your dad think? 244 00:12:59.600 --> 00:13:04.039 Is that all my dad got? Historical? He said, don't 245 00:13:04.039 --> 00:13:06.639 you mean hysterically? He said, no, historical. He told me 246 00:13:06.759 --> 00:13:11.960 everything I've ever done wrong? Do you do that? You know? 247 00:13:12.000 --> 00:13:13.759 You let it all pile up, You let it all 248 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:16.320 damn up, and then when somebody hits you at the 249 00:13:16.360 --> 00:13:18.960 wrong spot, you just blah, You let it all out. 250 00:13:19.600 --> 00:13:24.519 That is foolish, because wisdom is full of mercy, it's 251 00:13:24.600 --> 00:13:27.559 full of good deeds, the Bible says in Proverbs seventeen nine. 252 00:13:27.799 --> 00:13:32.919 Love forgets mistakes, nagging about them parts the best of friends. 253 00:13:33.399 --> 00:13:36.360 Now think of the person who's closest to you in 254 00:13:36.399 --> 00:13:39.440 your life. Right now, Okay, think of the person who's 255 00:13:39.480 --> 00:13:43.279 closest to you in your life. And even though you 256 00:13:43.360 --> 00:13:47.360 love them, there's some things they do that just flat 257 00:13:47.399 --> 00:13:52.399 out bug you. I mean it really bugs you. You 258 00:13:52.480 --> 00:14:00.159 know those things that really get you going. Let it go. 259 00:14:00.600 --> 00:14:05.320 Let it go. It is foolish to hold on to it. 260 00:14:05.559 --> 00:14:10.440 Let it go. There's so many things to love about him. 261 00:14:10.679 --> 00:14:18.159 Let it go. You're not God. Mike has been on 262 00:14:18.240 --> 00:14:22.240 staff in facilities for many, many years. And I happened 263 00:14:22.279 --> 00:14:24.200 to know that Sally and Mike had just had their 264 00:14:24.279 --> 00:14:28.639 fiftieth wedding anniversary, and Mike had kissed Sally and she 265 00:14:28.720 --> 00:14:30.399 was getting ready to drive off, and I walked over 266 00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:33.799 to Sally's car. She rolled wind of down and I said, congratulations, 267 00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:36.759 Sally on fifty years of marriage. I said, what is 268 00:14:36.799 --> 00:14:40.559 the secret of a fifty year lasting marriage? She looked 269 00:14:40.600 --> 00:14:45.759 at me, said, Pastor, I never tried to change him. 270 00:14:46.120 --> 00:14:48.600 She drove off, and I'm not making this up. This 271 00:14:48.679 --> 00:14:51.279 is the exact truth. And they had not colluded on this. 272 00:14:51.720 --> 00:14:55.320 I walked up to Mike. It was further on up 273 00:14:55.360 --> 00:14:58.519 the way, and I said, Mike, congratulations on fifty years 274 00:14:58.559 --> 00:15:01.720 of a marriage. I said, what's the secret of fifty 275 00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:06.080 years of marriage? He said, I never tried to change her. 276 00:15:06.919 --> 00:15:14.120 They had both said the exact same thing. Wisdom is 277 00:15:14.159 --> 00:15:18.639 full of mercy. Number six. The Bible says that wisdom 278 00:15:18.759 --> 00:15:23.200 is impartial and always sincere. Now, this is interesting. These 279 00:15:23.200 --> 00:15:25.240 two words in the Greek and the original Greek in 280 00:15:25.279 --> 00:15:30.360 the Bible are the words a di cretos and ano cretos. 281 00:15:30.399 --> 00:15:35.639 They're very similar words impartial, and sincere ad cretos a cretos. 282 00:15:37.679 --> 00:15:43.200 Let me explain it this way. The Greeks invented theater, comedies, tragedies. 283 00:15:43.639 --> 00:15:47.919 You know, all Plato, Socrates, Sophocles, all these guys wrote 284 00:15:48.120 --> 00:15:53.960 very famous plays. And in Greek plays, one guy would 285 00:15:54.000 --> 00:15:56.919 often be an actor and would play many parts. He'd 286 00:15:56.960 --> 00:15:59.519 come out wearing a mask, and he'd say his part, 287 00:15:59.679 --> 00:16:02.360 then he'd go back behind the stage, he'd get another mask. 288 00:16:02.639 --> 00:16:05.240 He'd come back out and he'd play somebody else's part, 289 00:16:05.639 --> 00:16:07.919 and then he'd go back behind the stage and he'd 290 00:16:07.919 --> 00:16:10.279 get another mask, and he'd come back out. He's playing 291 00:16:10.279 --> 00:16:13.039 many roles and wearing many masks. And the word in 292 00:16:13.120 --> 00:16:19.120 Greek for that person, he was called a hippocretos. We 293 00:16:19.240 --> 00:16:22.759 get the word hypocrite from it. It means he wears 294 00:16:22.759 --> 00:16:27.200 a mask. He's always acting a different role. Hippocretos, always 295 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:30.840 playing a role, always wearing a mask. These words are 296 00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:35.240 the exact opposite adni cretos an it means impartial, and 297 00:16:35.279 --> 00:16:40.080 sincere it means you're genuine, you're without hypocrisy, you're the 298 00:16:40.120 --> 00:16:42.840 real deal. The word we would use today is the 299 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:48.159 word authentic. Authentic. Now here's the sixth key. If I 300 00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:52.720 want to be wise in my relationships, I won't disguise 301 00:16:53.000 --> 00:16:59.360 my intentions. I won't wear a mask. I won't fake it, 302 00:16:59.759 --> 00:17:03.799 I won't pretend. I won't try to be somebody that 303 00:17:03.879 --> 00:17:06.839 i'm not. I won't lie to you. I won't cheat you. 304 00:17:07.039 --> 00:17:09.880 I won't trick you. I won't fake you out. I 305 00:17:09.920 --> 00:17:13.519 won't take advantage of you. I won't deliberately mislead you. 306 00:17:13.720 --> 00:17:19.880 The point is this, fools are fakes. Wise people are authentic. 307 00:17:20.200 --> 00:17:23.400 They're the real deal. They aren't phonies. They're genuine. They're authentic, 308 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:28.200 they're warts and all. What you see is what you get. Now, 309 00:17:29.559 --> 00:17:32.440 there are two places today where people fake it more 310 00:17:32.480 --> 00:17:36.599 than anywhere else where. People are phony. They don't show 311 00:17:36.599 --> 00:17:41.920 their true seals more than anywhere else two places, online 312 00:17:42.079 --> 00:17:47.960 and on dates, they don't show their true sells. They're 313 00:17:48.039 --> 00:17:51.720 always trying to make themselves look better than they really are. 314 00:17:52.079 --> 00:17:57.680 Online and on dates. Psalm twelve, verse two. Look up 315 00:17:57.720 --> 00:18:01.920 here on the Bible says of Proverbs ten eighteen. The 316 00:18:02.000 --> 00:18:06.039 lips of a liar conceal hostility. And whoever spreads accusations 317 00:18:06.039 --> 00:18:08.240 as a fool, let me read your Psalm twelve to two. 318 00:18:08.720 --> 00:18:12.759 Everyone lies to his neighbor. Their flattering lips speak with deception. 319 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.960 You know, dating actually sets up relationships to be phony, 320 00:18:20.079 --> 00:18:24.359 because dating in itself is an artificial relationship. You look 321 00:18:24.440 --> 00:18:28.000 your best, you act your best, you talk your best, 322 00:18:28.279 --> 00:18:30.880 you dress your best, shoot, you smell your best. On 323 00:18:30.920 --> 00:18:35.519 a date, it's not the real you. No, no, you're 324 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:41.720 just super cool and you're not really real on dates. 325 00:18:42.200 --> 00:18:45.279 You know, no man would ever actually go to the 326 00:18:45.400 --> 00:18:49.480 opera except on a date. Okay, ladies, you just need 327 00:18:49.519 --> 00:18:53.240 to realize no man likes opera. Okay, okay, really. In fact, 328 00:18:53.440 --> 00:18:56.240 you laugh at things on dates that aren't even funny, 329 00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:00.279 as you know, somebody says it in your dates. I 330 00:19:00.279 --> 00:19:04.799 mean it was the stupidest thing you ever heard, but 331 00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:08.359 you laughed at it anyway. Okay, it is a phony, 332 00:19:08.640 --> 00:19:12.559 fake relationship. In fact, no place on the planet Earth 333 00:19:12.920 --> 00:19:17.640 is more inauthentic, more phony than a singles bar. I mean, 334 00:19:17.839 --> 00:19:23.440 it is the epitome of fake, phony, inauthentic relationships. Nowhere 335 00:19:23.480 --> 00:19:26.240 else on the planet can a total stranger come up 336 00:19:26.240 --> 00:19:29.359 to you and offer to buy you something? Can I 337 00:19:29.359 --> 00:19:32.640 buy you a drink? You don't even know me? I mean, 338 00:19:32.880 --> 00:19:34.559 were you in sears. The guy walks up and says, 339 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:42.039 gotta give you a toaster. I mean, really, you're in 340 00:19:42.279 --> 00:19:46.720 Albertson's Care for a box of capt'n Crunch. You're kind 341 00:19:46.720 --> 00:19:51.799 of cute, you know, Gonna get you some pickles. It's 342 00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:59.200 so phony, it's so fake. If I'm honest, if I'm real, 343 00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:04.839 if I'm wise, I'm not going to disguise who I 344 00:20:04.880 --> 00:20:08.440 really am. Now, let's review how wise are you in 345 00:20:08.480 --> 00:20:14.240 your relationships? Do you ever compromise your integrity? That's not wise? 346 00:20:15.359 --> 00:20:18.759 Do you antagonize other people's anger and push their buttons 347 00:20:18.799 --> 00:20:24.359 intentionally just to get even dumb? Not wise? Do you 348 00:20:24.440 --> 00:20:28.640 minimize feelings you shouldn't feel that way. Do you criticize suggestions, 349 00:20:28.640 --> 00:20:32.160 that's a dumb idea. Do you disguise your attention friends 350 00:20:32.839 --> 00:20:37.000 as your pastor who loves you? If you don't wise up, 351 00:20:38.359 --> 00:20:41.759 if you don't wise up, if you don't learn some 352 00:20:41.960 --> 00:20:45.640 godly wisdom, you're going to go through your entire life 353 00:20:45.880 --> 00:20:49.920 making the same relational mistakes over and over and over 354 00:20:50.079 --> 00:20:52.119 and over, and you're not going to get what you 355 00:20:52.160 --> 00:20:58.000 want out of that relationship. A intimate, satisfying, soul satisfying 356 00:20:58.279 --> 00:21:03.599 relationship that God intended for you to have. How do 357 00:21:03.720 --> 00:21:09.680 I get the wisdom to stop making foolish mistakes in relationships? Well, 358 00:21:09.680 --> 00:21:12.759 there's only two places you get wisdom. You don't get 359 00:21:12.759 --> 00:21:17.799 it from college. You don't get it from online blogs. 360 00:21:17.799 --> 00:21:21.279 You don't get it from TV shows. You get wisdom 361 00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:25.799 from knowing God and doing what he says to do, 362 00:21:25.799 --> 00:21:28.519 doing his word. Knowing God and doing his word, you 363 00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:32.079 can get intelligence, you can get facts, you can get information, 364 00:21:32.240 --> 00:21:35.319 you can get smart, you can get technical skills from 365 00:21:35.359 --> 00:21:38.200 going to school. But you don't get wisdom from going 366 00:21:38.240 --> 00:21:42.119 to school. You get wisdom from knowing God and doing 367 00:21:42.160 --> 00:21:44.759 what he says to do, because He is the source 368 00:21:44.880 --> 00:21:49.480 of all wisdom. But you're not going to know the 369 00:21:49.519 --> 00:21:53.400 word of God until you know the Lord of God. 370 00:21:54.359 --> 00:21:57.279 Two verses look up here on the screen, So I'm 371 00:21:57.319 --> 00:22:01.240 one eleven Verse ten. Respect for the Lord is the 372 00:22:01.279 --> 00:22:04.759 beginning of wisdom. You want wisdom in your relationship, you 373 00:22:04.880 --> 00:22:07.680 got to start with the relationship to the Lord. And 374 00:22:07.720 --> 00:22:11.680 the Bible says in Colossians chapter two, Jesus is the 375 00:22:11.799 --> 00:22:17.480 key that opens all the hidden treasures of God's wisdom 376 00:22:17.839 --> 00:22:21.400 and knowledge. You got to get to know Jesus. I 377 00:22:21.440 --> 00:22:23.920 got a letter a while back where a guy told me, said, Rick, 378 00:22:24.240 --> 00:22:29.400 all my relationships constantly fell apart until I met Jesus 379 00:22:30.039 --> 00:22:32.480 and I began to learn the wisdom he gave me. 380 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:40.000 Have you met Jesus. That's bower heads Father. I thank 381 00:22:40.039 --> 00:22:42.880 you for your word that you want us to be 382 00:22:43.000 --> 00:22:46.920 wise not foolish in our relationships. And I pray that 383 00:22:47.000 --> 00:22:49.680 even today everyone here will make a commitment to be 384 00:22:49.799 --> 00:22:53.440 with us for these six weeks as we talk about 385 00:22:53.440 --> 00:22:57.720 how to strengthen our good relationships, how to heal our 386 00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:00.319 bad ones, how to deal with the crazy man makers 387 00:23:00.319 --> 00:23:03.640 in our lives. The Lord today we start with us. 388 00:23:06.279 --> 00:23:08.359 Why don't you pray this prayer? Dear Jesus, Help me 389 00:23:08.400 --> 00:23:14.519 to not compromise my integrity. Help me not to antagonize 390 00:23:14.799 --> 00:23:22.920 people's anger. Help me not to minimize people's feelings. Help 391 00:23:22.960 --> 00:23:29.160 me not to criticize people's suggestions or emphasize their mistakes. 392 00:23:30.440 --> 00:23:34.759 Help me not to disguise who I really am. Help 393 00:23:34.799 --> 00:23:39.839 me to be authentic and real and genuine. Say God, 394 00:23:39.880 --> 00:23:44.000 I need your wisdom. I want to know you Jesus Christ, 395 00:23:44.759 --> 00:23:48.359 and I want to do your word. If you've never 396 00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:51.440 invited Christ in our life, say Jesus Christ, come into 397 00:23:51.440 --> 00:23:55.079 my heart and life right now and take control of 398 00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:56.839 my life. I want to learn to trust you and 399 00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:07.160 love you in your and then I pray Amen. You know, 400 00:24:07.240 --> 00:24:09.920 if you just prayed that prayer for the very first time, 401 00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:14.200