Speaker 1: Welcome back, besties. It's your mother, Brittany Schman. I'm so
excited to be here with you guys today. How are
you guys doing? Happy Monday? I need you guys to
know that I'm going to be in Nashville and Raleigh
in June the seventeenth and eighteenth. I think I don't
know it's on my website. I should be better at this.
I should be better at being a comedian. I should
be better at promoting myself. I should be better at
believing in myself and my dreams. But anyone has anyone
seeing in my hopes and dreams? Because where the fuck
did they go? They're not in Palm Beach, I'll tell
you that much. They're not in Palm Beach. My dreams
ain't here. I've never had a city reject me so hard.
And I know you guys have said be positive, be grateful,
and I am. I have a beautiful home, I have
a healthy body, I have a father I adore, I
have a really smart sister, I have great friends. I
have so many good things going on. But life can
be like good and bad at the same time. That's
the dichotomy of life. Ladies and gentlemen. It's never all
good or all bad at once. And sometimes I think
when you're in the middle of your best years, you
don't know it, and you don't know it until you
get into one of your worst years. And I think
that's what this year has taught me, is that I
didn't realize how great all the other years were. Listen,
God bless Lexapro. You know, if it weren't for me,
I'm Alexapro, I would have been off a fucking balcony.
This balcony I live on the eleventh floor. That is dangerous,
you guys. I haven't been sleeping well. I'm aging like
the devil. I was looking at my face today. I've
also been chained smoking SIGs, you guys, chain smoking SIGs.
I'm so fucking stressed and I'm sad and I miss
my dog. And you guys. Speaking of Biggie the Man,
the myth, the legend, I got him a little custom earn.
It was so cute, like this little white this pottery
lady on Etsy does little custom earns, and it was
little urn with his name on it. And I got
the box today and I had to emotion prepare myself.
I was like all right, his urn's here, which means
I have to transfer his ashes into his urn and
it's gonna be a lot like the Big Lebowski, you know,
the tin can of ashes and they fly back in
my face because the Florida hurricane winds, the gust hurricane
winds are among us. So I was prepared for my
Big Lebowski moment my Folger's coffee can ashes in the eyes.
And then I opened the box and I was like,
what is this. It was two little cups, two little
blue cocktail glasses, and I was like, Oh, the world
is begging me to relapse. Oh, I think that means
the Good Lord wants me to drink some fucking tequila.
Nothing has tested my sobriety from alcohol more than living
in Palm Beach. And when I say nothing, I mean nothing.
So anyway, you guys, I'm doing great. I've been ripping SIGs,
getting wrinkles. I'm recording this podcast in the dark right now,
So if I look spookier than usual, it's because it's
me alone in my apartment with my big ass fucking
light and it's it's almost dark out. So I just
had to get this podcast in before I go to
New York. I'm spending a week and a half in
New York. Ten days in New York. I'm gonna get
my Mom's gonna get her groove back. She's gonna go
do some stand up. She's gonna do some more stand up.
I have so much writing to do. And here's the
thing about when your life is horrible. As a comedian,
pain for me personally makes the best jokes. And I
have just been getting curb stomped by pain, like actually
fucking mouth on the pavement. I like, just curb stomped.
So I'm really looking forward to turning this pain into
something productive and going to New York and trying to
make some jokes about how I asked the vet to
also put me down with my dog, you know. So yeah,
I'm excited to go to New York. I'm going excited
to go to a city with energy, with culture, with
people that are a bit more like minded. I'm just excited.
I'm excited to get out of here. And like I said,
I've been ripping SIGs and that's not great. But I
did just see an article recently and this really made
me happy that a lost Chinese diver survived five days underwater,
and his first words to the rescuers were do you
have a cigarette? And I love that so much I
sent it to my king on let me pull it up.
In July twenty twenty five, Okay, so it wasn't this year.
It's last year's news, but it's still important news because
SIGs are back. Baby. In July twenty twenty five, a
Chinese diver named Wang became the center of an extraordinary
survival story after he got trapped in a flooded karst
cave system in Henan. I don't know how to say that,
he not province. He remains stuck underwater for five days
inside a small air pocket deep in the cave, surviving
in complete darkness and managing to stay alive by catching
and eating raw fish sishi am i right. Rescuers launched
a large and risky search operation across multiple regions before
finally spotting a faint flashlight signal that led to him.
Despite oxygen levels dropping dangerously low during the ordeal, Wing
was pulled out alive and even able to walk away
without assistance, later drawing attention for his calm reaction when
he simply asked for a cigarette after being rescued. That's me,
that's me. I'm trapped in a fucking cave and all
I want is a marb light. I used to be
a pfunk girl, and then I stopped doing cocaine, so
I was like, nobody needs this, the fucking coke bump
SIGs anymore. The coke bumpsig whoa coke bump SIGs are
out of business smoking marbs? But like, why am I
smoking cigarettes? Like I know they're back and they're fucking
cool again. Because nobody has the will to live in
this country. Because it's like back in the day, we
used to want to live and have like a nice,
old healthy life, you know, grow old, have grandkids, live
on a ranch. We had the will to live back
in the day. But we don't have the will to
live anymore. As a collective, as a country, you're seeing
everyone ripping SIGs. I've aged myself years since I moved
to Palm Beach. I looked today and my fucking crows toes.
I know the crows eyes, but I call him crows
toes because Courtney Kardashian did ones and it was really funny.
The crows toes are getting crazy and I just got botox.
So that's one hundred percent of six. But these comments
really made me laugh. For a Chinese person to survive
five days without a cigarette, it's truly remarkable. Someone said, well,
did he get a cigarette? Someone else said he needed
some fresh air. His desire for a cigarette kept him alive.
That's literally me, Like I have been waking up and listen,
I got so spoiled. For a minute, I was getting
the best sleep. I was feeling so great. Life was
real good. I had it by the short and curlies,
you know, well, no, I didn't know. I never did.
But I was actually getting really good sleep before Biggie died.
And then Biggie died, and there's just something missing in
my life. And it's that little cuddly dude in between
my tits where he liked to lay. That was his
favorite spot. He kept them separated, like I don't know,
the what's it called the the Red Sea, separated like
the Red Sea. That's what he just was like right
in between there and I and I miss him, and
I wake up missing him, and I go to bed
missing him, and there's just like this hole in my
life and I feel fucking sad, and uh, I haven't
been sleeping well, so I've like, uh, the past two nights,
got maybe six hours of sleep collectively. I had to
wake up this morning and drive my dad to the airport.
He's been here working on the bagel shop and they
had like yet another setback with that, so they have
to like get more permits. So my dad went back
to Wisconsin, which I'm actually so grateful for because my
dad loves Wisconsin summers more than anything in the world.
He does his garden, he plays baseball, and he was
like really fucking sad to come down here and just
just sweat it out and the dog ass Florida summer heat.
I don't know anything I this. I think it's the wettest,
damn this hottest place in the world. It's disgusting in summer.
I don't know what's up with Florida. I'll be honest,
I don't know about Florida. And if you live here
and you love it, great, this isn't for you to
get past it. But what the fuck is going on
with Florida? And I feel like people have been saying
this for a while and I just didn't listen to them.
I was like, la, la, la, I mean, love, I'm
moving to Florida, dumb bitch. Next time your friend says
we're moving to Florida, don't let them, don't fucking let them.
All right, this, I mean it is swamp ass city
out here. I walk to my plate studio, It's like
a six minute walk, and by the time I get there,
I'm like full swamp ass, wet ass, fucking pussy like
I think. Actually, Cardi B wrote that song about when
she walked around to Miami in the summer. It had
nothing to do with how horny she was. It's just
like the swamp ass of Florida. It is hot. So anyway,
I'm really jealous of my dog. Got to go back
to Wisconsin because the Wisconsin weather is radical right now
and the Florida weather is not rad right now. I
will look at my hair. I look like a lion. Oh,
by the way, you guys wanted to see how the
Berber hair oil is doing. Look at this. My hair
is almost all back. It's not all back. I know
that I had more and it was longer because I
was looking at pictures the other day because I was
so excited to show you guys, and I was like,
I think it's not fully back from the inside up
that that happened like well over a year ago. But
I've been doing three oils a week and Mama's main
is coming back. So sorry, I'm drinking so much water.
I'm so dehydrated. I just like I've been ripping way
too many siings. That's that's the truth. But anyway, you guys,
isn't this fun? I started a podcast and then my
whole life just unraveled. Isn't this just like a blasty blast?
I feel bad. I come every week and I'm like,
we're gonna be positive, We're gonna talk about how life's great.
And then I'm like, every week I sit down and
I'm like, I don't have the will to live? Do
you guys have the will to live? Could I borrow
your will to live? Could if you have a single fuck,
could I have it? If you have a loose fuck
lion around, could I have it? Because I don't give
a flying fuck about anything. I've lost all my fucks
in twenty twenty six. All my fucks went out the
fucking window in twenty twenty six. Okay, whoo, it's not
a good feeling. It's not a good feeling. I will
say this though. When Biggie was dying, I whispered in
his ear and I said, I know you're going to
a better place, but could you just come back as
a turtle. Just show me turtles so I know you're
with me, and you guys have seen so many turtles.
I went fishing with my dad the other day and
we caught a huge salefish by the way, so fun
We caught a sailfish and a couple of mahi mahi,
and as we were boating, we saw two big I
think they're called water log turtles and they were mating,
and I was like, that's very funny. Biggie has a
sense of humor that he's showing me two turtles fucking
because in his life as a dog, he never had
the opportunity to punish me the way I punished him
by making him watch me fuck so many men. And
he had to sit there and just be like, is
this okay? Is this okay? Are you being hurt? What
is going on? Is everything okay? And he just had
anxiety and he would shake while I like hooked up
with dudes. And then I think it's very funny that
in this reincarnation. He just showed me two turtles. Fucking
He's like, fuck you, mom. And then also if I'm
looking for it. So I live on the intercoastal in Florida,
and there are sometimes like up until he died, I
had maybe seen like two or three sea turtles. And
if I'm out there and I'm looking for it, I
will not see it. But if I'm just like walking by,
this little turtle has been coming up. This little turtle's
been coming up and be like hi, and then he
goes right back down, and I think he lives there.
And I was pretty excited about that. And I'm just
seeing turtles everywhere. I didn't notice before that there was
license plates in Florida with turtles on it. But when
you're looking for something, you see it. It's called reticular
activation theory. I don't know if you guys know about this.
Reticular activation theory is when you are looking for something.
It's kind of like when you buy a car and
then all of a sudden, you see that car everywhere
and you're like, wait a minute, has this car been
everywhere the whole time? Yes, it has. You just didn't
give a fuck about it until you owned it, and
then once you owned it, you gave a fuck about it,
so you started noticing it. So humans we only really,
we obviously have a filtration system where we can't we
can't take everything in. Our brains would get overloaded, and
for survival's sake, we only take in what's important to us,
and it becomes more important to us when we're looking
for it or when we have it. So like Max
just bought a Bronco, and I can't tell you how
many Broncos I've been seeing. I'm like, is every car
in West Palm Beach a Bronco? Like it feels like
it's exclusively Bronco city over here. And that's called reticular
activation theory. And so I'm having a bit of reticular
activation theory with turtles. And I didn't notice until Biggie
passed that there are some Florida license plates have turtles
on them, and that's very nice because I'm like, oh,
Biggie hi. And then also I randomly, I was on
a plane the other day and I put on paw Patrol.
I don't know why. I don't know what over came me.
And in like the opening credits, there's there's a turtle.
You would never think on pap Patrol a turtle, a
little turtle family. So anyway, Biggie's here and he's hollering
at me, and he's fucking in the sea, and he's
having a good afterlife. And I just want you guys
all to know that even though his urn didn't come
and it's two shot glasses, I was like, should I
just like put his ashes in these little shot glasses?
His urn will come. And also I'm gonna go to
La at the end of this month, and Chris and
I are gonna spread his ashes on the beach. Because
every we used to live in Venice Beach, between the
beach and the canals, and every morning when we could,
we would take we would either take him for a
walk on the canals, which is beautiful, or we would
take him to the beach and we'd let him off
leasi and he would sprint up and down a doubt,
oh a doubt, and he'd tire himself out. And he
loved the beach so much, so we're gonna take him
to the beach. And then Chris used to take him
on a bunch of hikes like that dog was so
fucking strong. He could go on like fifteen mile hikes,
no problem. And so Chris is gonna spread some of
his ashes on the trail, and then we're gonna spread
some on the beach, and then I'm gonna keep some
in the jar whenever that comes. And then that's that's
kind of it. That's kind of where I'm at with
old Biggie Small's in his body. I am starving. I
forgot to feed myself today. Do you guys ever do that?
Does anyone ever? Just like forget? And then all of
a sudden, it's what time is it? Seven to sixteen pm?
I think I had one protein bar. I'm getting light
headed anyway, Thanks for coming on this journey with me. Besties.
We're having the best time, aren't we. Oh? Life is
a mess? Life is a mess. What's going on with
you guys? I was just could be interactive. I wish
you guys could talk back to me. Sometimes I sit
here and I'm like, am I have a fucking crazy person?
I just sit in a chair and I ran and
I like scream into a fucking microphone and a camera
and hope people connect with it. Anyway. I know I'm crazy.
I was walking home today from yoga from hot ass
dog ass fucking pilates, not yoga, sorry, And this woman
was coming towards me. And I've been making an effort
to pet every dog I see because I'm just like, oh,
I just want to like love these dogs. And I've
never been like that with other people's dogs. When I
had Biggie, I was very much like, I have my
own dog, I don't need your dog. But now that
I don't have Biggie, I'm like, I need you your
dog to love me. And so I've been trying to
just say hi to dogs because I love them so
much and they're so sweet, and I don't know when
I'll have the the space in my heart to have
one again, because it's such an unbelievable I just can't
imagine going through that pain again. I can't imagine putting
myself through that pain again. So I just don't know
when I'll get a dog again. So I've been stopping
to say hi to local dogs. And there was a
mini long haired Wiener dog him named Theo, very cute.
I met him. And then I was walking home from
pilates and this woman was on a walker. Right, she's
on a walker. She's got big diamond earrings in and
like some fancy outfit on, and her dog's walking towards me,
and it has bows and it's walking. The woman and
the dog are walking in slow motion. This bitch looked
like she was walking to her funeral. All right, I'm
not being ageist. She just looked like she was on
her way to the grave. Like she looked like she
was dulled up in a way that was for the casket. Right.
I'm like, all right, this bitch is barely hanging on here.
And I said, hey, can I pet your dog? I
always ask because honestly, Biggie didn't like to be pet
that much, so I would always say you can try.
But he's like, not that friendly. He would never bite.
He just didn't like people. He was like me, I'm like,
I'm not gonna hurt you, but I just like might
judge you and give you a side eye a little bit.
And that was like Biggie's whole personality. And this woman
says to me, as she's in her walker right, still
just going a half inch two centimeters at a time,
she said, no, I'm in a hurry. And I was like,
by the time she said no, I'm in a hurry.
The pet could have been over with. That's how long
it took her. She's like, I'm in a real big
hurry today. I was like, oh, honey, you enjoy the
last hurry of your life. You enjoy the last hurry
scurry of your life. Cute ass dog in his fucking bows.
I guess, I guess it was probably a girl, but
I just I was I really laughed at that. I
was like, that's fucking hilarious to be going so slow.
She said, no, I'm in a hurry. And then she
still wasn't she still wasn't it not even was she
not past me. She still wasn't even to me, like
I asked her in advance, and she just said no,
I'm in a hurry. And then she wasn't to me.
And then it took me walking past her to get
past her, like she was going so fucking slow. And
I was like, and you know what, God bless that
woman for a boundary. I love a bad bitch with
a boundary. And may we all be ninety seven and
a half years old with big fucking diamond earrings on
a walker and a bad attitude and a fucking boundary,
because that what is life for If you don't get
older and give less of a fuck about other people's needs,
that's what it's for. You Gotta just take care of
your own. If you're in a hurry, Fuck that bitch.
Maybe she did just lose her dog, none of my
fucking business, you know. And I loved that about her.
I was like, fuck, yeah, you're in a hurry. Fuck yeah,
fuck yeah. Oh my god. I just started reading a
new book called Everything Is Horrible and Wonderful. It's about
the death of this tragic heroin overdose death of a
comedic writer. He died I think by the time he
was thirty, and his sister wrote the memoir and it's
beautiful and tragic and ripping my fucking heart out. So
sometimes you guys want to know what I'm reading. So
that's what I'm reading. That's what I'm up to. Something
that I did recently that was really fun. I saw
it on Instagram. It was a stupid little prompt, but
I had fun with it, and I want you guys
all to do it because I want you guys to
be dreamers with me. I'm a little dreamer, right. I
want a great, big life. I want to graduate out
of this chair in my half kitchen, half living room
to a different chair in a studio where they're paying
me lots of money to do this, you know what
I mean, Like, I just have big ambitions. I want
to make a TV show. I want to I want
to get my movie made. I you know, I want
to sell more dicats when I do stand up like
I want. But I want this podcast to go to
the fucking moon. I'm very ambitious, right, And so there
was a fun prompt on chat GPT which was tell
chatchpt what you want your life to look like and
and it'll write out a day in the life. And
it was just really inspiring to read. And it wasn't
realistic because like all the things I said I wanted,
I was like, I want to be making my movie
and my TV show. My TV shows on its third season.
I'm in the process of making my movie. I'm a
theater comic who's selling out. I have a podcast with
millions of listeners, like you know. It was like a
really ambitious dream. Like all of the dreams do not
come at once, and so CHATJPT was like trying to
jam all these dreams in one day. They're like yeah,
and then you're casting your movie, and then you're going
into your writer's room, and then you're meditating, and then
you're spending time with the love of your life on
the couch, and then you at night go to your
theater show, and then you come home and you cook dinner.
And it was like there was actually not enough time
in the day for all my dreams. And it was
like funny to watch chat Chie to try and like
jam it in there and not understand like the technicalities
of like how much time a theater show would take
and how much time it would actually take to like
go to a writer's room, and how like any one
of those things would take up a whole day. But
it was fun to do. So if you guys have
big dreams or any dreams, small dreams, little dreams, whatever dreams,
it's fun to have chat GPT help you just kind
of manifest. Right, we're getting back in the manifestation. In
the Manifestation, I've been leaning back into the law of
attraction because I've been looking at my year and I'm like,
this isn't going great, you know, this is this is
not going great. And the common denominator here is me
so I cannot be like, all these bad things are
happening to me and it has nothing to do with me.
It feels like I'm in the middle of a karmic Clintons,
Like a karmic reckoning is going on for your girl.
I don't know if it's this life a past life.
It might be this life. Like I've said before, I'm
not you guys, I'm not that great. I do my best,
but I'm not that great, and so like maybe there's
some karmic reckoning shit going on. You know, I moved
to Palm Beach, shit happens, my dog dies, the plotate
studio shuts down. Everything's not perfect, and it feels really uncomfortable.
But what I've been thinking about lately is the law
of attraction, right, because what you do want and what
you don't want are the things that you will attract.
So if you think about what you don't want too much,
it will happen. And I can't tell you how many
times I thought about how there was no world Biggie
could ever die. I was like, it's not gonna happen,
and if it does, he's gonna be like twenty eighteen
at the earliest, Like I was like, I fully, like
in my head, was like, there's no way it's happening.
It's not gonna happen. I was so deeply terrified that
it was gonna happen. That it's not like I made
it happen with my thoughts, but like kinda you know,
and then like I don't know, just I really believe
in the law of attraction, and I think what you
want and what you don't want will find you equally
as fast if you give them attention. And I think
I need to shift focus to the things that I
do want and the things I do want to dry
in the life that I do want to create for myself,
cochrie with myself with the universe, because obviously I am
not the only person creating this experience. But I do
have to listen to universal signs too, and I think
there's been some like pretty strong universal signs that Palm
Beach might not be the place that Mom's gonna thrive, Right,
I think I get very excited about the idea of
New York, and listen, I tried really hard to make
this work. I really did. I really really tried. I
applied for day jobs, I really did. I want you
guys to know I wasn't just like talking out my ass.
Like I did apply for a job at a rehab.
I did try and tap into my network and get
like a job and like make make things happen here,
and like quite literally just people didn't respond to my applications.
And that's another sign from the universe. Like me trying
to like shrink myself a little bit and not even
shrink myself, just do something that's not aligned with me.
It's going to get rejected by the universe, right, And
I think I get excited about the idea of New
York because the reality is, like as much as I need,
I very much needed this break from stand up and
I have, for all intents and purposes this year taken
a huge break. Like I have not written a bunch
of new stuff. Like I said earlier, I have a
lot to write and I will write that and I
will create that and it will hopefully be good. But
like I haven't written, I haven't performed any new stuff.
I've been doing Rainos shows, old jokes, you know. I
just want to do the hits because I want her
shows to be as good as possible. It's a real
lazy way for me to just like phone it in,
keep myself sharp and like not be scared to hold
a mic on stage, but then like also not grow
as a comic. So I've been really pushing myself down
and I've been really sedating myself in my career. And
I feel very excited and called to New York. I
feel called to go do stand up there, and I
feel like I would grow as a comic and a person.
And I think it's big and scary, and it's always
like kind of caused me anxiety because it's so noisy
and it's so smelly, and I get very overwhelmed by
the subways and everything that's going on, and just like
the sheer number of people there kind of freaks me out,
Like New York kind of freaks me out. But I
think the things that scare you are the things you
have to go towards, right, Like New York has always
kind of scared me, and I think I need to
be like, oh, lay like a bull, put my horns
on because I'm a fucking taurust and just be a
bull and go go give that city a try. And
I think the reality is going to be like possibly
I make it through summer here. Maybe I don't. Maybe
I find a studio sooner. But I think, just like
a little Pietaire in the city is calling Mama's name,
and I think that's the next step for me and
I you know, I.
Speaker 2: Fucking at Bombage. I hate this place. It's not for me,
you guys. The people are weird here. It's a strange place.
It's a very strange place. And I think if I whisper,
they won't hear me. I think if I whisper, nobody
will hear me talking shit about them, because they're all
right there, but they're all they're all the fucking lizard
people are here. All the lizard people blur here, and
they're very spooky, and all they care about is.
Speaker 1: Money and more money and other weird shit, you know,
other weird shit, like you guys, the fucking Jeffrey Epstein
survival survivor's trial just happened today, like two car wheels
from my house. I'm like, that's this whole thing is.
I can't get going on that again because it's so upsetting.
But I think the fact that that's happening in my
backyard makes me soul sick. The whole thing makes me
soul sick. And the fact that people just kind of
go on like nothing happened and there's been no consequences.
That's the craziest fucking thing to me, Like, how did
all this shit come out? I feel like the not
even the government, because it's bigger than the government. We
put my tinfoil hat on here. It's bigger than the government.
It's the people that control the world basically tested us
to see if we would start a revolution. They're like, hey,
let's let them know that everyone that they respect and
vote for and trust to run the country is engaging
in a satanic pedophile cult of some sort, some sort
of child sacrifice such abuse ring, and uh, let's see
if they revolt. Let's tell them the most horrific shit
we could ever tell them, and see if they revolt.
And then we didn't. You guys, we didn't. We did
nothing because we're so sedated by our devices and we're
just like, oh, whatever, people mean tiktoks about it. They're like,
this is it's let's try and make it funny. Let's
find the silver lining. We did the best we could
to laugh our way out of it. As a society,
because we're so oppressed. We're just mentally oppressed. But that
shit's going on in my backyard. That's, like I said,
it's two cartwheels away the courthouses down the street. That's
fucking scary to me. I don't like that. I don't.
And listen, I'm not saying I'm gonna go to New
York and bad things don't happen in New York. We've
all seen Gangs of New York. You know, we've seen
Leo's acting and Gangs of New York and his little fist. No,
I'm just kidding. I love Leo, but it's like, yeah,
bad shit happens everywhere. That's the world. And I'm not
you know, I'm not dumb to that, but I just
at least there's culture there, and there's good food, and
there's interesting people doing interesting things, and you know, they're
not so hyper obsessed. I mean, listen, there's an obsession
with wealth and money and status everywhere in the world,
and they're always has been and there always will be.
And that's fine, that's fine, that's just how our society works.
But I think there's less of one there because more
people are grinding, more people are hustling. More people are
getting shit done, and I want to be a part
of that energy and that flow and see where that
might take me. And I think this year has been
a gap year, and you know, nothing, everything's happens for
a reason, and I needed to take some time off
to just like I don't know. I guess I was
in my head I was gonna feel a bit more
stable this year, but that hasn't been the reality. So
I don't know what's in store for me or my future,
but I'm excited about it and I can tell you
what I'm gonna take over the fucking world. Also, I
have I need to talk to you guys about the Patreon.
I know a lot of you aren't subscribe to it,
so if you're not, just jump ahead like thirty seconds.
I've been talking to a lot of friends and creators
and generally speaking, five dollars is the lowest you should
put a tier. And you know, so I think I'm
gonna do a five dollars tier and a seven dollar tier,
and I'm gonna I'm gonna if you are at the
three dollar tier, and I'm gonna see if I can
grandfather you in. I think I can if you can't
afford five dollars. I totally understand. I'm just a little
baby business, and I'm trying to keep myself afloat and
not just like be in the red to make this
because I want to make this for you guys, and
I want to make it for me because I have
a lot of fun doing it and I just love
the little community that we've built. Also, I have another
idea for you guys. I've seen some of you that
are doing the Artist Way say you wanted to start
a group together, if you wanted to go into the Patreon.
What I can do is you guys can raise your
hand and say I'm doing the Artist Way. I want
to be a part of the group. And then I
can put us all in a chat and then we
can all chat about the work that we did this
week and this week, you guys, for the Artist Way
is the hardest fucking week. So I want you guys
to be ready for that. I know we're not talking
about the Artist Way yet because we're not we're not
there yet. We're just we're just thirty little minutes into
this podcast. We're not getting to the Artist Way. But
you guys might be a hair of a shorter episode,
and I'm so sorry. Don't get mad at me, but
I just I have to pack. I have to pack,
and I have to go to New York and it's
it's nighttime, and I also should eat at some point.
Okay one second, Okay, sorry, guys, I actually had to
take a break to eat because I was gonna faint.
Isn't that crazy? Okay? I'm not an adult. I can't
take care of myself. Okay. So a few of you
guys wrote in bad Vice this week, and I know
we're skipping ahead, but I really like two of the questions,
so I want to like get into these because they're meaty. Okay.
One of them is my boyfriend still follows and interacts
with a ton of thirst traps on Instagram and it
bugs me. Am I being insecure for caring? Or is
that a fair boundary to have a relationship. Some of
them are girls he used to sleep with. Some of
them are girls he just knows. Some of them are celebs.
What's your take on this? Haven't I had this issue?
Haven't I had this issue with you know who? First
of all, I need to know how old he is
because this might just be like a twenty something thing
to do. But here's the thing. When I got into
the relationship i'm in now, I never looked at who
he was following on Instagram. I never cared. I was like,
it's none of my business. And we were like months
into the relationship before I finally looked. And when I
tell you, it looked like he went to an all
girls' school. He his following looked like he attended an
all girls school. My head fell off my shoulders and
rolled down the fucking street into the Hudson because I
was like, what do you mean? This is what your
followers look like. And then it got worse when I
clicked on them and I saw he was liking all
their bikini picks and picks of them on a yawn,
picks of them in santrope and the besties. I lost
my fucking I actually didn't lose my mind so bad
the first time, because I was like, just clean it up,
clean it up. This is not behavior that we accept.
I also didn't think at this big old age, and
here's the thing, I'm a big old age and he's not.
I didn't think at this big old age we had
to tell people how to act. We had to tell
people this is bad behavior. And here's one area where
I was so spoiled in my marriage that man Chris,
he would not even look at another woman when she
was talking to him. She could be talking to him
and he would be looking into the distance, like he
was seasick on a choppy fishing boat at sea, like
he was trying to keep from throwing up everywhere on
a wrecked ass shrimp and boat in the middle of
the Atlantic during a hurricane. The way he locked eyes
on the horizon and not that bitch at all was
a dream that I took for granted. And here's my
real opinion on this. It's a seepage of energy. Right
when they're following other women and they're interacting with other women,
it is a seepage of energy. And you're letting these
ladies know, Hey, I'm still here, Hey, still thinking of you. Hey,
like your titties on this fucking yacht, Hey, love your
ass in this fucking sun dress? Hey, Hey, hey, hey, hey,
remember when we fucked. Remember I'm here. Hey, you just
want to remind you quick that I'm here. Hey, Yeah,
I'm in a relationship. But who knows for how long,
that's what you're saying. And here's the thing. Guys don't
think of it this way. They actually don't. They're just
like them. They're like, y'all, y'all, like like like they're
actually fucking dumb. Guys are actually fucking dumb. So you
have to be so clear that this is a boundary, right,
And so the first conversation I had in my current
relationship was stop liking these hose pictures. I didn't realize
I needed to also say unfollow them, stop, Like, what
what the sam Hill's going on here? I didn't know
I needed to say that. But then months passed by
because I didn't check again. I just was like, he
did the thing. Obviously he did the thing. And then
I checked again and he's still following all these whorors.
And I was like, oh my god, this is like
embarrassing that I even have to say this. This is
embarrassing that I have to articulate this boundary. It's embarrassing
that men don't know it's a boundary. It's embarrassing that
they think it's okay behavior. It's embarrassing that they don't
see how they're embarrassing us, how behind our backs these
girls are like, oh yeah, that girl's partner is out
here liking my shit, dming me, interacting with me, Like,
you gotta be ten toes down in this fucking relationship.
You gotta be both feet fucking in. I don't want
a single fucking hangnail hanging out of this relationship. I
need both feed in. Okay, And that to me is
both feed in. You don't get to interact with girls
on Instagram that you wish you fucked, that you used
to fuck, that you wanna fuck, like you that you
hit on once or twice, like you know that's over.
And if it's not over, you're not respecting this relationship.
And that is a boundary cross. And it's a very
clear boundary cross. Okay, this has been an issue in
my relationship, and I'm not trying to put them on blast.
This is a conversation that I think is important to
have because I know there are men that listen to
this podcast, and I want you to understand, as men,
when you get into a meaningful partnership, it is of
utmost importance that you stop following the whores on Instagram,
the girls you used to fuck, the girls you wish
you could fuck the girls you like, you really got
to stop following those hoes like that is a very
very very clear boundary for any self respecting woman and
any woman that's like, I don't care if that. And
there are some women who are okay with open relationships.
They're okay with, you know, another woman having pause on
their man. They're okay with their man looking at other girls.
There are women with that are less fucking psychotic than me.
But I'm fucking psychotic, and like, what's mine is mine,
it's nobody else's. And I don't I don't want the
world to think you're available. And this went on for
like longer than I would care to admit in our
relationship because I wasn't like hounding him, I had to
like actually hound him. And here's the thing. I don't
know if it's he's because he's twenty seven, or if
it's because he's a Gemini, Like I don't know if
I should blame the zodiac or the actual birth certificate.
But at some point something's got to get blamed because
it's hoe ass fucking behavior. It's hoe ass fucking behavior.
First of all, I don't follow men that I fucked
on Instagram. Are you kidding me? I'd be following the
entire Los Angeles Lakers, Like can you, like, can you
fucking please imagine for one minute, how fucking embarrassing that
would be? First of all, not the present Lakers obviously,
Like this is no, like this is like it's so
fucking embarrassing to just follow all the people you used
to fuck. That's like such trash behavior, like have a pass.
Nobody cares that you have a past. Don't bring it
into your present, especially when you're in a relationship. But
like being a whole ass hoe and having it all
documented of like every all you've ever had sex with
or every guy I've ever had se Can you fucking
first of all, it would be an embarrassing number for
my following count, Like I would just be like grossed
out with myself, Like why am I following so many people?
And also, you don't need to keep up with them.
Just because they were inside you once or twice doesn't
mean you need to know they're like you know when
their baby's born or when their mom passed away, Like,
we don't need to keep track on all these people.
That's not what they were in our life for. They
were in our life to come and go to have
a good one night stand, a two night stand, of
four week fling, whatever it was, like, a five month
whatever it was. They were there for a season. They're
not here now. We're here now. And if they're also
here because you're liking their shit, I don't want to
like every person you like is in our relationship, then
every single bitch you like on the internet may as
well just like live in our apartment with us, because
she's in this bitch she's in this fucking relationship, all right,
So no, don't let your fucking man follow horrors on
the internet. Absolutely fucking not. That's not behavior that we're
taking in the year twenty twenty six, our Lord and Savior.
We are not letting these men follow fucking horse. Sorry. Um. Also,
if you are like really hot and on the internet, congratulations,
Like that's great. Obviously everyone hates you. But waita be
really hot and on the internet, that's like super impactful.
I'm sure like that'll be going done in history books. Okay, Oh,
this one's interesting. Okay. My partner is really wonderful. We
live together, we've been together for six years, and he's perfect.
He cooks, he cleans. He takes care of most things.
But one thing I hate the most is he is
super close with his ex. At what point does staying
friends become a red flag? And I love this question
because people think being friends with your ax is a
red flag. I am of the ilk that being friends
with your ex is the most mature thing you can do.
I think that if somebody was in your life for
a significant amount of time, they grew up with you,
they loved you through really gnarly shit, they held you
while you were down, they fed you, they fucked you,
they took care of you. You built life with that person.
I think it's really ooh. I think it's great to
stay friends. I'm still friends with Chris, and Chris is
like our friendship is not like we do not talk
every day, we do not talk every week. We barely
fucking talk, but like a non negotiable coming into this
relationship that I'm in now, I'm like, I am friends
with my ex and I'm friendly with him. I'm not
friends with him. We're not like kiking. We're not catching up,
we're not shooting the shit. Like when our dog was dying,
we were talking the most, and since then we really haven't.
And the reality is he is in another relationship. I'm
in another relationship. We're both respectful too, you know each
other's partners. If we do talk, I'll always ask how
his girlfriend is, He'll ask how my partner is. Like,
if we do talk, we're very respectful and we have
very clear boundaries, and there is no inkling of interest
from either of us. It's just like two people who
want share a life together who no longer share a
life together, being kind to each other because life is short.
Life is short. And but it has to be platonic.
That's the thing. It can't be like. It has to
be platonic, and it has to be mutual. It can't
be like if if he really wanted her back and
then she said no, and then they're still friends, that
cannot be because because then it's different. Right then it's
like is he still sticking around to shoot his shot?
Like it had to be like a mutual separation. And
the only experience I can speak from is my own,
and ours was a mutual separation. And so we were
able to, you know, maintain a little bit of a friendship.
Nothing crazy, nothing crazy at all. Like it revolved squarely
around that, around Biggie, and once Biggie passed, we really
haven't spoken. I've talked to him a few times about
the ashes and where we're gonna spread them, and that's it.
That's it. So it has to be really minimal interactions.
It has to be respectful of you and your relationship.
And if it's not those things, I don't think it
should exist. And that's another boundary you should draw. Draw
fucking boundaries, babe, Listen. I remember when we used to
just let people walk all over us. Those days are
behind us, all right. Draw fucking boundary. Like you're a
kid on a sidewalk with a piece of chalk. Draw
that shit, Believe in that shit. Think it's the coolet
Like whatever your heart is telling you, you have to
follow that. Because here's the thing. Our intuition is the
strongest fucking thing we have, Okay, our intuition. I was
listening to a podcast the other day and there was
a psychologist on there talking about intuition and basically that
gut feeling that we get, right, we get this like
gut feeling like something's something's not right. It's, first of all,
never fucking wrong. That gut feeling is never wrong. And
here's why, because that gut feeling before humans had language,
before we had podcasts, that's for sure. Before we had language,
like when we were cave people and we didn't have language,
that gut instinct was what protected us from dangers, right,
So we immediately could sense if someone or something was
dangerous based on that gut instinct. And then as women,
we have a very strong gut instinct, and we know
what's right and we know what's wrong, and we know
when something is off. We feel it in our fucking spines.
And I wish we didn't. I wish the back of
my neck didn't fucking burn when I knew something was wrong.
I wish there wasn't a pit in my stomach so
deep that I wasn't even sure if I had a bottom,
Like it just feels like I'm a black hole straight
into hell. Like that pit goes so fucking deep. But
if you don't listen to that pit in your stomach,
and you don't listen to the little voice in your
head telling you something is wrong soundly alarms, you're gonna
pay for it. You're gonna pay for it because as
as women especially, and as men I think it's gender
non exclusive. But we rationalize our way out of gut
feelings now because we get tricked with a language. Right,
So you have a feeling about a guy, you meet
a guy, you like him, there's a vibe, but you
have a little bit of a gut feeling there might
be like a little like he's dangerous, he might not
seem honest, like he whatever whatever it is that he
might be. And then you tell yourself it's different, right,
You tell yourself it's different because you want to, because
you like his leather jacket and his fucking full head
of hair, and you like the joke that he cracked,
and you like his full lips, and you know it'd
be really nice to wake up next to a man
like this. It would be really you'd bring you a
lot of pride to introduce this kind of this man,
this physical specimen to your family. You tell yourselves, You
tell you you like, make this story up about this
guy that's different than who he is, And that's called limerens.
That's where you have a crush on somebody and you
like read a whole new person out of like no
facts and just like your fantasy and imagination, right, so
you can like tell yourself a completely different story about someone,
even if they're showing you or you like have a
gut feeling that it's bad. And then what you do
is you convince yourself, this person's good, this person's safe,
I'm gonna spend some time with this person, you know,
it's fine, whatever, And then lo and behold. They always
do the thing that you knew they were gonna do
the second you had that gut instinct, the second you
had a feeling in your gut, like I can't trust
this motherfucker, and I don't know why. I can't put
my finger on why I don't trust this motherfucker, but
I don't. There is always gonna be a reckoning. There's
always gonna be a reckoning. And that's just a biological fact, right,
Like our body is hardwired to tell us when we're
in danger. And if you ignore that hardwiring and you
to ignore that sign, you're gonna be in danger. It
you're gonna pro it's gonna fucking blow up in your face.
Let's be so for fucking real, It's gonna blow up.
It's gonna embarrass you, it might hurt you. Men are dangerous,
like so you have to en listen this. We got
a long way from the original question, which is is
having a relationship with your ex a bad thing or
something you should draw a boundary on. But what I'm
talking about now is this gut instinct that cannot be ignored,
And I don't think we should ever ignore it, because
I don't want you to get yourself into a situation
where you like are like I kind of felt like
something was off the whole time. I kind of felt
like he still loved his X, and then, like God forbid,
the X like breaks up with her boyfriend or whatever,
and then it's like, oh, I guess we'll give this
another chance, and he's like see ya. And then you
just wasted all this time telling yourself you're fucking crazy
and nothing was going on between them, and gaslighting yourself
and allowing him to gaslight you. And then all of
a sudden, years of your life have gone by and
this guy just like goes running back to his ex.
So on this one, specifically, you have to trust your gut.
I would imagine the gut in in like Chris's relationship.
I would hope that his girlfriend has a gut instinct
that it's fine, and it's safe, and that nothing is
ever gonna happen between us ever again, because it's not.
And like I it is true that I can love
him from the bottom of my heart and wish him
like all the best in the whole world, and also
know that the ship is sailed for both of us,
you know. And I think he's a wonderful person and
I respect that relationship and he respects mine, and so
on and so forth. So I think you got to
use your gut on this one, right, You got to
use your gut on this one. Follow your gut. If
your gut's telling you something's off, it's off, all right.
You don't have to talk yourself out of that. When you,
guys have instincts, don't talk yourself out of it unless
your schizophrenic, or unless something's going on in your little
bipolar something's like actually medically wrong with you. Then like,
don't listen to the thoughts in your head. Well, also
don't listen to the thoughts in your head, because the
thoughts in your head are not you. Right, you understand this,
Did you guys ever read the So the book that
I'm thinking about is Untethered Soul and it's largely about
the idea that you are not your thoughts, emotions, or
inner chatter, you're the awareness observing them. It goes deep
into detaching from the voice in your head and not
letting your mind run the whole show. So this has
been like an interesting practice for me and my mindfulness.
Right when I hear because you do hear voices in
your head and you have an inner monologue, and you're like,
wait a minute, but I'm listening to that inner monologue,
so that inner monologue can't actually be me because I'm
the one observing it. Right, So if you hear a
voice like and a lot of a lot of times
it's negative thoughts, right, it's telling you like you're too
old to do this, you're not smart enough to do this,
you're not funny enough to do this, you're not pretty
enough to do this, You're not or you're gonna run
out of time, You're never gonna finish this. Like those thoughts,
those aren't you. That's just like where are those thoughts
coming from? Because you're the one observing and listening to
those thoughts. So when you practice active detachment from those thoughts,
your life gets a lot easier because you learn to
not be tethered to those thoughts. You know, you're like, oh,
I am not a culmination of my thoughts, accumulation, culmination.
I don't know it should be word of the week,
I am. I am not my thoughts. I'm the one
observing those And if you can take the space between
your thoughts and your you know, observation of them, you
kind of get to figure out who you are. So
that's a difference between guts and your gut and your thoughts, right, Like,
your gut's always right, your thoughts are not always right.
Your thoughts are oftentimes wrong, and you need to separate
yourself from them because this can be a very bad
neighborhood up here, and we all know that. Okay, we're
gonna get into word of the week. I told you
this one was gonna be a little bit shorter. I
don't know if it's actually even that much shorter. I
kind of yapped a lot. Those questions really fired me up,
you guys. If you can please send me more bad
vice questions like that, I would love that because I
get fucking fired up, all right, I get fired up,
all right, you guys. The word of the week is
macro cosm noun a representation on a large scale the
universe envisioned in its totality. In addition, a large system
that reflects one of its component systems is a macro
cosm m acrocosm, macro cosm. All right, besties, if I
lose you here, I lose you here, I love you
so much. Oh you guys, I have to ask you
a big favor. Can you please go to Spotify or
Apple or YouTube wherever Spotify or Apple and give me
five stars if you like it? Please, please please, And
then if you would go to YouTube and subscribe. If
you're not already, subscribe to my YouTube it's Britney Schmidt
Comedy bri t t A n y scchm I T
T no d I took all those in college comedy.
If you guys could subcribe, subscribe. We're so close to
fifty thousand subscribers and that's very exciting. I think when
I started the podcast we were at like forty two thousand,
so we've grown a little bit and that's very exciting
and I just am excited to grow together. So if
you guys could go subscribe to my channel, like and subscribe.
I love you so much and I will see you
next week. Okay, bye, all right you guys, let me
snap into my other personality here, the artist way. This
week is going to be the hardest week. Let me
just tell you that now. And if you didn't hear
me earlier, I will say it again. If you guys
do want to do a chat, actually, this week is
not the week to do the chat because it's the
reading deprivation week. The following week we can do a
chat on the Patreon if you guys want, just dm
me on the talk and Schmidt page and let me
know if that's something you want, I can set it up. Okay,
you guys. This week is a donkey kick in a half,
all right. So basically, one of the things it talks about,
it's recovering a sense of integrity and one of the
things that we're going to learn as we keep doing
the Morning Pages. And I've actually been noticing this lately.
So when I'm not actively doing the Morning Pages, I
always journal, and when I journal, I will say broad
things like I'm okay, everything's fine, I'm grateful, life's good,
God's got it. Like that's literally like someone's gonna read
back all my journals and be like, this is the
most boring personal lives. She said the same thing every
day for forty seven years, Like they're gonna think I'm
the most boring, boring person in the world. But the
reason the morning pages are so effective is because they don't.
You have to write so much. It doesn't give you
the room to just say, like, you have to say
more than I'm good. You know, you have to expand
are you good? Are you actually okay? Because okay, when
you say I'm okay, you're usually hiding something, whether it's anger, fear, hurt,
whatever it is. If ever you find yourself journaling that
you're okay, make sure you explore that and figure out
how you're actually feeling. And you know, if you're a
little numbed out on Lexapro like me, you gotta get
in there because I promise the feelings are still there.
They're just being pushed down like a beach ball underwater, okay,
And the morning pages will not allow us to get
away with this evasion, so we tend to avoid them.
And like I was talking about earlier, like during bad Vice,
if you have a like sneaking suspicion your partners doing
some fucking shit. The morning pages won't let you just
live with them. The Morning Pages will make you act
on them, because you'll start journaling about it enough and
enough to uncover how you actually feel about it, and
then all of a sudden, you're gonna confront it and
you're gonna have an uncomfortable conversation. And that's why a
lot of people stop doing the morning Pages, because they
know they're about to break loose in some capacity. And
so just watch yourself with that, because there is a
tendency to not do the thing that is going to
help you break free. So just make sure you're being
honest with yourself in the morning pages. Yeah, basically, in short,
extreme emotions of any kind, the very thing that the
Morning Pages are superb for processing are the usual triggers
for avoiding the pages themselves. And when you're writing those pages,
make sure you do little affirmations like to thine odes
and self be true, you know, just like any affirmations
trying between you and Creator God. I want to be
a channel for you. God, Please open me up to
be a channel for you. Please receive. May we co
create together today? Just any affirmations to kind of open
like continue to open up that channel, write those down
because you're in the process of identifying self right and
inevitably that involves a loss as well as a gain.
We discover our boundaries. We're talked about a lot of
boundaries earlier today by definition, by definition, separate us from
other our fellows. So yeah, it's a bit of a
spiritual emergency, a bit of a surrender. You do have
to like let go of all the the of judgments
you have about yourself or the thought you had, the
thoughts you had about yourself, Like no, I'm put together
and I'm great, and I'm a good lawyer and I'm
a good mom and I'm a good and you have
to just like like what, let whatever comes out come out.
Like you might be really uncomfortable in your job. You
might hate your fucking husband, you might hate your fucking wife. Like,
I don't know what you're going through, but you're gonna
find out through these pages. Okay, So shifts and tastes
and perception frequently accompany shifts and identity. So you're gonna
start to notice that you're going through like your closet
and cleaning out or you're like getting rid of clutter,
or you're organizing bathrooms. Like I literally didn't fully move
into this place that I live in until like last week.
I had shit in the closet, I had like clutter
everywhere because I think I was still in denial that
I lived here. And I finally like organized my bathroom shelves.
I got all my shit in order, and I like
threw some old clothes away. And you're gonna notice this
because it's you're making room for what's next, and you're
giving organization to the ka so that your mind doesn't
have that to do list of Like, No, I can't
do this creative thing because I actually have to still
unpack this bathroom closet that I haven't unpacked since I
moved here. However, many months ago, six months ago, four
months ago, whatever. It feels like it's been five hundred years.
This fucking hell fire acid bath of a fucking life
in Palm Beach feels like it's been my whole entire life.
I feel like I could write a Bible on humbad
it's been. But yeah, anyway, when you're tossing out the
old and unworkable, we make way for the new and suitable.
Your old life has crash and burned. Your new life
isn't a parent yet. You may feel yourself to be
temporarily without a vehicle. Just keep walking, that's so important.
Keep going, keep doing the work. This is very uncomfortable.
This week is where people back out. Okay, This is
like the fourth step in AA. This is the hardest
part where people don't really want to do this. They
don't really want to confront themselves, and they back out. Okay.
The analogy that I use is that once we engage
in the process of morning pages and artist state, we
begin artist states. We begin to move at is such
a velocity that we do not even realize the pace.
Just as travelers on a jet are seldom aware their
speed unless they hit a patch of turbulence, so too,
travelers on the Artist's way are seldom aware of the
speed of their growth. This is a form of denial
that can tempt us to abort the recovery process. That
isn't happening to us. Yes, it is all right. There
will be a change in energy patterns. Many areas of
your life that previously seem to fit will stop fitting.
Half your wardrobe will start to look funny. Conditioned as
we are to accept other people's definitions of us, the emergence,
the emerging individuality can seem to us like self will
run riot. It is not. We like to numb ourselves
with sugar, alcohol, drugs, overwork, underplay, bad relations, toxic sex,
under exercise, over TV, undersleep, many very varied forms of
junk food for the soul, clear room in it for
you need to clear room in your life for the
creator's action and the flow of God. So this week
is reading deprivation, and this is a tough one. You
guys can't read. The rules have been updated since this
book has been written. You're not supposed to read. You're
not supposed to go on social social media. You're not
supposed to look at emails. You're not supposed to watch TV.
You are not supposed to take in any media for
a whole week. And I can already hear you guys rioting.
I can hear you screaming, being like, that's fucking impossible.
How am I going to do that? Take Instagram and
TikTok off your phone. First of all, Okay, don't pick
up a book you have in years anyway, Who cares
you know, like don't just don't pick up a book
and don't watch TV, because what's gonna happen is your
channel is gonna open up, okay, and you are going
to start to have your own ideas and your head
is gonna start to fill with things, and you're gonna
start to be a little more creative. And like I said,
you're gonna clean up, you're gonna organize, you're gonna paint
a shelf, you're gonna build something. You're gonna do something
because we're humans and that's what we're conditioned to do.
But we are constantly sedated, like I said earlier, by
social media and just any media, and we like to
fill our heads with other people's chatter so we don't
have to like think about our lives and think about ourselves.
And this is the hardest week. It's gonna be so
hard for me. I'm going to New York. I'm not
gonna be able to post about it at all. Things
that you can do instead of, you know, being inundated
with social media and that kind of stuff. You can knit,
you can cook, you can fix a bike, you can
go on a bike ride. You can water color, you
can paint the bedroom. You can rearrange the kitchen, work out, meditate,
have friends to dinner, get the stereo working, go dancing,
repot some plants. You can do it, all right. And
here's the thing. If you break the reading deprivation and
need you to talk about why was it a fit?
Was it a tantrum? Did you freak out? Also, if
we do start a chat, we will start next week
because obviously I don't want us on the Patreon this week,
so we can follow the rules. But if we do
start a chat, I want you guys to be honest
in there about why and how you broke the reading deprivation.
I don't know if anyone's still doing the others way
with me. It might be like three of us, but
either way, I'm having fun. I'm glad I'm doing it.
I'm glad we're staying accountable. I love you so much, besties,
and I will see you next week.